1
00:00:03,530 --> 00:00:05,539
Here's a fun Postal fact.
2
00:00:05,563 --> 00:00:07,773
Yeah, the inner side
of our mailbox
3
00:00:07,797 --> 00:00:09,545
is under federal jurisdiction.
4
00:00:09,569 --> 00:00:11,615
So, if you broke
my right thumb,
5
00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:13,396
that's Pasadena city police.
6
00:00:13,420 --> 00:00:15,281
But if you broke
my left thumb,
7
00:00:15,305 --> 00:00:16,863
that's the FBI.
8
00:00:18,432 --> 00:00:20,893
If I'm going to jail, I'm killing him,
not breaking his thumb.
9
00:00:20,917 --> 00:00:22,201
No.
10
00:00:22,492 --> 00:00:24,968
Oh, I got a letter
from my Meemaw.
11
00:00:25,390 --> 00:00:26,669
Umm. Smell this.
12
00:00:27,741 --> 00:00:28,459
What is that?
13
00:00:28,551 --> 00:00:31,189
Uh, roses, bengay,
and Dr. Schools' foot powder.
14
00:00:32,137 --> 00:00:34,409
Yeah, "Grandma",
by Calvin Klein.
15
00:00:36,525 --> 00:00:38,456
Yeah, the last time I got
a hand written letter,
16
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:41,653
it was from someone who told me
I parked like a blind person.
17
00:00:41,677 --> 00:00:43,224
That someone has a name.
18
00:00:43,248 --> 00:00:44,921
Uh, thank you.
19
00:00:46,781 --> 00:00:48,831
Oh, Meemaw got
a new set of teeth.
20
00:00:50,081 --> 00:00:51,825
Oh, but then
she found her old ones.
21
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:55,441
Oh, so now the new ones are
just gonna be her church teeth.
22
00:00:57,487 --> 00:00:59,413
Fun. Like your
Comic-Con Spock ears
23
00:00:59,437 --> 00:01:01,336
and your around
he house Spock ears.
24
00:01:03,702 --> 00:01:05,591
I park fine!
25
00:01:08,482 --> 00:01:10,282
Oh, my goodness,
she's coming to visit!
26
00:01:10,284 --> 00:01:12,718
Oh, it'll be nice
to finally meet her.
27
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:14,486
Oh, you are going
to love her.
28
00:01:14,488 --> 00:01:17,289
She is the kindest, sweetest
woman you'll ever meet.
29
00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:20,192
Yeah, unless you're a gopher
digging up her vegetable garden.
30
00:01:21,362 --> 00:01:22,595
In that case, you can expect
31
00:01:22,597 --> 00:01:25,931
to have your head bashed in
with a shovel.
32
00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:29,568
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
33
00:01:29,570 --> 00:01:32,905
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
34
00:01:32,907 --> 00:01:34,540
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
35
00:01:34,542 --> 00:01:37,076
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
36
00:01:37,078 --> 00:01:39,745
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
37
00:01:39,747 --> 00:01:42,414
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
38
00:01:42,416 --> 00:01:44,316
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
39
00:01:44,318 --> 00:01:46,266
♪ Bang! ♪
40
00:01:46,267 --> 00:01:50,267
♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x14 ♪
The Empathy Optimization
Original Air Date on February 4,
41
00:01:50,268 --> 00:01:55,393
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
42
00:01:55,417 --> 00:01:57,684
That's not her.
That's not her.
43
00:01:57,686 --> 00:02:00,120
That's not her.
That's not her.
44
00:02:00,122 --> 00:02:02,122
That's not her.
45
00:02:02,124 --> 00:02:04,290
That's not her.
That's not her.
46
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:06,159
That's not her.
Really?
47
00:02:06,161 --> 00:02:08,361
The old Asian man
is not your Meemaw?
48
00:02:10,132 --> 00:02:12,032
And that's not helpful.
49
00:02:13,001 --> 00:02:14,934
You know, I-I got her
an iPhone for Christmas.
50
00:02:14,936 --> 00:02:16,403
I'll see where she is.
51
00:02:16,405 --> 00:02:17,604
Oh, that's nice.
52
00:02:17,606 --> 00:02:19,606
Most people her age
don't embrace technology.
53
00:02:19,608 --> 00:02:21,341
Oh, no, she doesn't
even know she has it.
54
00:02:21,343 --> 00:02:23,443
No, I had my sister
slip it in her bag
55
00:02:23,445 --> 00:02:27,213
so that I can track her
like a sea turtle.
56
00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:29,649
Same as when we lost you
at the zoo.
57
00:02:29,651 --> 00:02:31,518
Uh, for the hundredth time,
58
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,887
I smelled kettle corn
and couldn't find the cart.
59
00:02:35,057 --> 00:02:36,289
Still doesn't explain
60
00:02:36,291 --> 00:02:39,526
how you ended up
on the freeway divider.
61
00:02:39,528 --> 00:02:41,628
Moon Pie!
62
00:02:41,630 --> 00:02:42,829
Meemaw!
63
00:02:42,831 --> 00:02:44,864
I'm so happy to see you!
64
00:02:44,866 --> 00:02:46,166
I'm happy to
see you, too!
65
00:02:46,168 --> 00:02:47,400
Oh.
66
00:02:47,402 --> 00:02:48,668
You got even smaller.
67
00:02:48,670 --> 00:02:50,203
I love it!
68
00:02:50,205 --> 00:02:52,205
Uh, Meemaw, this is Leonard.
69
00:02:52,207 --> 00:02:53,206
Leonard, this is my Meemaw.
70
00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:54,474
Hi. So nice
to finally meet you.
71
00:02:54,476 --> 00:02:56,042
Let me take this
for you, Meemaw.
72
00:02:56,044 --> 00:02:57,210
Thank you.
73
00:02:57,212 --> 00:02:59,212
No. Oh, no.
Now you call her “Constance.”
74
00:02:59,214 --> 00:03:00,680
I call her “Meemaw.”
75
00:03:00,682 --> 00:03:01,948
You have your own Meemaw.
76
00:03:01,950 --> 00:03:03,917
It's not my fault
she died when you were four.
77
00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:07,987
Is that nice to say
to your friend?
78
00:03:07,989 --> 00:03:09,889
It isn't, Meemaw.
79
00:03:09,891 --> 00:03:12,058
Sorry, Leonard.
80
00:03:13,295 --> 00:03:15,728
Can you please
live with us forever?
81
00:03:15,730 --> 00:03:18,098
Oh.
82
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:20,867
That's ridiculous!
If you had
83
00:03:20,869 --> 00:03:23,336
a superpower,
and spent your whole life
84
00:03:23,338 --> 00:03:25,038
being told to suppress it,
85
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,474
when you finally decide
to embrace that power,
86
00:03:27,476 --> 00:03:29,709
why hide in isolation?!
87
00:03:29,711 --> 00:03:31,144
I'm sorry,
88
00:03:31,146 --> 00:03:34,781
and how much money did
your version of Frozen make?!
89
00:03:35,917 --> 00:03:37,484
I'm just saying,
90
00:03:37,486 --> 00:03:39,152
instead of “Let it Go,”
she should really sing,
91
00:03:39,154 --> 00:03:41,454
“Look At Me Hiding in a Freezer
Like a Dove Bar.”
92
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:45,024
She built an ice castle,
made a snow monster
93
00:03:45,026 --> 00:03:48,027
and gave herself
a complete makeover in one day.
94
00:03:48,029 --> 00:03:49,729
You know what I saw
you do today?
95
00:03:49,731 --> 00:03:52,198
Eat a block of cream cheese
straight from the foil
96
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,701
and lie about it to your wife!
97
00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:58,138
Sorry for eavesdropping,
but did you know
98
00:03:58,140 --> 00:04:00,773
hey actually had
the song “Let It Go” in place
99
00:04:00,775 --> 00:04:02,408
before they finalized the story?
100
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,844
Yeah, that's true. In fact,
hey liked the song so much,
101
00:04:04,846 --> 00:04:06,446
hey retooled
the whole script around it.
102
00:04:06,448 --> 00:04:08,381
Which is probably
why that movie sucks.
103
00:04:08,383 --> 00:04:10,617
Here we are
talking about Frozen,
104
00:04:10,619 --> 00:04:12,018
and yet, you got burned.
105
00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:14,154
Miss, I'm so sorry.
106
00:04:14,156 --> 00:04:15,622
How can you not like that movie?
107
00:04:15,624 --> 00:04:17,624
I just think it gets more credit
than it deserves.
108
00:04:17,626 --> 00:04:19,125
Oh, that's what I said
an hour ago.
109
00:04:19,127 --> 00:04:22,896
Wow. You've been talking
about Frozen for an hour?
110
00:04:23,932 --> 00:04:27,300
You should've seen us
after The Good Dinosaur.
111
00:04:27,302 --> 00:04:31,137
It was a classic western
set in the post-Jurassic period,
112
00:04:31,139 --> 00:04:33,806
and it changed my life.
113
00:04:37,612 --> 00:04:39,112
Are you comfortable?
114
00:04:39,114 --> 00:04:40,813
Very.
115
00:04:40,815 --> 00:04:41,748
It's nice to rest
116
00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:44,317
after 800 flights of stairs.
117
00:04:46,688 --> 00:04:49,689
You were so cute,
huffin' and puffin'.
118
00:04:50,926 --> 00:04:52,458
There's Amy.
119
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,127
I just know
you're gonna hit it off.
120
00:04:54,129 --> 00:04:56,863
You both have
the same fashion sense.
121
00:04:57,832 --> 00:05:01,534
Hello! Come in,
say hi to my Meemaw.
122
00:05:01,536 --> 00:05:03,002
Hi. Nice to meet you.
123
00:05:03,004 --> 00:05:04,537
Nice to meet you, too.
124
00:05:04,539 --> 00:05:05,538
How was your trip?
125
00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:06,606
Wonderful.
126
00:05:06,608 --> 00:05:08,341
And the pilot did
such a good job,
127
00:05:08,343 --> 00:05:10,043
I gave him a butterscotch.
128
00:05:10,045 --> 00:05:12,011
That's great.
129
00:05:12,013 --> 00:05:14,447
And look at you,
sitting in Sheldon's spot.
130
00:05:14,449 --> 00:05:16,049
You know, I don't
even get to sit there.
131
00:05:16,051 --> 00:05:17,283
Yeah.
132
00:05:17,285 --> 00:05:18,985
And you never will.
133
00:05:18,987 --> 00:05:21,821
Ooh, hey, oh, ask her to do the
tissue thing.
134
00:05:21,823 --> 00:05:22,989
Do it, ask her.
135
00:05:24,192 --> 00:05:25,325
Can I have a tissue?
136
00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:26,726
Of course.
137
00:05:29,531 --> 00:05:30,730
Isn't that the best?!
138
00:05:30,732 --> 00:05:32,899
She's like Grandma Spider-Man.
139
00:05:33,902 --> 00:05:35,602
He's been saying that
140
00:05:35,604 --> 00:05:36,903
since he was little.
141
00:05:36,905 --> 00:05:39,405
I still don't know
what it means.
142
00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,608
Oh, well, you two sit down
and get to know each other.
143
00:05:41,610 --> 00:05:42,875
I'll get your room ready.
144
00:05:42,877 --> 00:05:44,344
Oh, now don't you go
looking through
145
00:05:44,346 --> 00:05:46,179
my suitcase for presents.
146
00:05:46,181 --> 00:05:47,647
If I did, would I find any?
147
00:05:47,649 --> 00:05:48,881
Maybe.
148
00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:52,719
But you also might find
my brassieres and bloomers.
149
00:05:53,755 --> 00:05:56,623
That's a risk
I'm willing to take!
150
00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:58,157
Well, this is so nice.
151
00:05:58,159 --> 00:06:00,093
He's so excited
to have you here and...
152
00:06:00,095 --> 00:06:03,096
Okay, now let's you and me
get something straight.
153
00:06:03,098 --> 00:06:06,899
He may think that I came
to bake him cookies,
154
00:06:06,901 --> 00:06:09,769
but the real reason
is to size you up.
155
00:06:09,771 --> 00:06:11,971
S-S...
156
00:06:11,973 --> 00:06:13,773
Si-Size me up?
157
00:06:13,775 --> 00:06:16,476
Sheldon's mother may be
okay with you,
158
00:06:16,478 --> 00:06:18,244
but I'm not so easy.
159
00:06:18,246 --> 00:06:19,979
Well, I-I'm...
160
00:06:19,981 --> 00:06:23,182
I'm sure you'll like me
once you get to know me.
161
00:06:23,184 --> 00:06:25,385
Oh, you better hope so.
162
00:06:26,788 --> 00:06:29,389
A Texas Special cattle
and calf car train set
163
00:06:29,391 --> 00:06:30,957
with authentic horn and bell!
164
00:06:30,959 --> 00:06:32,258
Thank you, Meemaw!
165
00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:33,760
Oh, you're welcome, Moon Pie.
166
00:06:33,762 --> 00:06:35,028
Amy, why don't you
167
00:06:35,030 --> 00:06:36,129
look excited?
168
00:06:36,131 --> 00:06:38,231
Well, you get
to watch me play with this!
169
00:06:42,070 --> 00:06:44,370
Oh, I see you're reading Saga.
170
00:06:44,372 --> 00:06:46,439
Yeah, I hear it's pretty good.
171
00:06:46,441 --> 00:06:49,342
It is, and not a lot of comics
have a woman with wings
172
00:06:49,344 --> 00:06:51,878
breastfeeding a baby
right on the cover.
173
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,347
I'll take your word for it.
174
00:06:54,349 --> 00:06:55,348
You should.
175
00:06:55,350 --> 00:06:57,717
He's really looked.
176
00:06:58,687 --> 00:07:01,187
I'm Raj, by the way.
177
00:07:01,189 --> 00:07:02,789
This is Howard.
Hi.
178
00:07:02,791 --> 00:07:04,223
Claire.
179
00:07:04,225 --> 00:07:06,159
Well, I've seen you here before,
Claire.
180
00:07:06,161 --> 00:07:07,660
It's my first time.
181
00:07:07,662 --> 00:07:10,296
I'm looking for inspiration
for this movie I'm writing.
182
00:07:10,298 --> 00:07:11,564
You're a screenwriter?
183
00:07:11,566 --> 00:07:14,801
Well, screenwriter,
slash bartender,
184
00:07:14,803 --> 00:07:18,504
slash, a month away
from living in my car.
185
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:21,040
Yeah, I get that.
186
00:07:21,042 --> 00:07:22,475
I'm a scientist,
187
00:07:22,477 --> 00:07:23,876
slash party planner,
188
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,878
slash small-dog enthusiast,
189
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,680
slash...
190
00:07:27,682 --> 00:07:30,850
guy who probably should have
stopped at “scientist.”
191
00:07:30,852 --> 00:07:32,752
You're really a scientist?
192
00:07:32,754 --> 00:07:33,853
Well, astrophysicist.
193
00:07:33,855 --> 00:07:35,221
That's perfect.
194
00:07:35,223 --> 00:07:37,890
Do you think I could pick your
brain for my movie some time?
195
00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:39,659
It's animated sci-fi for kids.
196
00:07:39,661 --> 00:07:41,661
Sure. I love animated movies.
He does,
197
00:07:41,663 --> 00:07:44,464
and he has the Lilo & Stitch
collector plates to prove it.
198
00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:49,135
Excuse me for wanting
a little magic in my life.
199
00:07:50,472 --> 00:07:51,771
Here's my number.
200
00:07:51,773 --> 00:07:53,072
Give me a call,
we'll get together.
201
00:07:53,074 --> 00:07:54,941
Yeah, great.
See ya.
202
00:07:54,943 --> 00:07:56,843
Yeah, bye.
203
00:07:56,845 --> 00:07:58,144
What are you doing?
204
00:07:58,146 --> 00:07:59,479
You have a girlfriend.
205
00:07:59,481 --> 00:08:01,147
So?
So,
206
00:08:01,149 --> 00:08:02,515
how do you think she'd feel
207
00:08:02,517 --> 00:08:05,451
about you helping a beautiful
girl with her screenplay?
208
00:08:05,453 --> 00:08:06,953
I wouldn't say
she's beautiful.
209
00:08:06,955 --> 00:08:09,288
Really? You don't think
she's attractive?
210
00:08:09,290 --> 00:08:12,125
I do. I just wouldn't
tell my girlfriend.
211
00:08:14,896 --> 00:08:17,530
Constance, are you sure
I can't pour you some wine?
212
00:08:17,532 --> 00:08:19,499
Oh, no wine for me.
213
00:08:19,501 --> 00:08:23,169
Sheldon's bringing me
my whiskey.
214
00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:25,371
Here you go, Meemaw.
I made it
215
00:08:25,373 --> 00:08:26,472
just how you like--
216
00:08:26,474 --> 00:08:28,541
a lot in a glass.
217
00:08:28,543 --> 00:08:31,310
Thank you, Moon Pie.
218
00:08:31,312 --> 00:08:32,512
Um, curious.
219
00:08:32,514 --> 00:08:34,881
Why do you call Sheldon
“Moon Pie?”
220
00:08:34,883 --> 00:08:36,983
'Cause he's so nummy-nummy.
221
00:08:36,985 --> 00:08:38,885
She could just eat him up.
222
00:08:39,654 --> 00:08:42,054
And I call her “Meemaw”"
223
00:08:42,056 --> 00:08:44,056
because, well, just,
well, look at her.
224
00:08:45,393 --> 00:08:47,326
It's interesting that
225
00:08:47,328 --> 00:08:50,163
Leonard and Penny know
about his nickname
226
00:08:50,165 --> 00:08:51,397
and you don't.
227
00:08:51,399 --> 00:08:53,599
Oh, well, you know,
228
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:56,035
now-now that I'm hearing it,
it does sound familiar.
229
00:08:56,037 --> 00:08:57,236
How could it?
230
00:08:57,238 --> 00:08:59,572
I never told you,
and you never bothered to ask.
231
00:08:59,574 --> 00:09:01,607
Well, now I know.
Yeah.
232
00:09:03,812 --> 00:09:06,245
So, Penny, I understand
you have a new job.
233
00:09:06,247 --> 00:09:07,313
Yes.
234
00:09:07,315 --> 00:09:08,581
I'm a pharmaceutical
sales rep.
235
00:09:08,583 --> 00:09:09,916
Oh.
236
00:09:09,918 --> 00:09:13,453
It's so wonderful that
you modern gals can have it all.
237
00:09:14,355 --> 00:09:16,722
A husband
and a full-time career.
238
00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:19,892
I have a relationship
and a full-time career, too.
239
00:09:19,894 --> 00:09:22,595
That doesn't bode well.
240
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:28,334
Why not? You-you just said
it's okay for her to work.
241
00:09:28,336 --> 00:09:32,138
Well, Leonard doesn't need as
much tending to as Sheldon does.
242
00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:33,239
And as Moon Pie explained,
243
00:09:33,241 --> 00:09:35,842
Leonard's work
244
00:09:35,844 --> 00:09:38,211
is more of a hobby.
245
00:09:39,681 --> 00:09:41,581
That's my best friend.
246
00:09:41,583 --> 00:09:42,815
Yeah.
247
00:09:42,817 --> 00:09:44,217
Look,
248
00:09:44,219 --> 00:09:46,152
I-I get that you're protective
of your grandson,
249
00:09:46,154 --> 00:09:48,187
but he's an adult now.
250
00:09:48,189 --> 00:09:51,824
Maybe I understand what he needs
better than you do.
251
00:09:51,826 --> 00:09:54,327
I appreciate your honesty, dear.
252
00:09:54,329 --> 00:09:56,229
Thank you.
And here's
253
00:09:56,231 --> 00:09:57,563
some more honesty:
254
00:09:57,565 --> 00:10:00,299
I don't like you very much.
255
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,636
Well, maybe I don't
like you either.
256
00:10:03,638 --> 00:10:04,904
No, no, no, no, no,
257
00:10:04,906 --> 00:10:07,173
no, no, no. Y-You have
to like each other.
258
00:10:07,175 --> 00:10:10,142
Well, we have a 4:30 reservation
at Applebee's.
259
00:10:12,347 --> 00:10:14,347
I think I should leave.
260
00:10:14,349 --> 00:10:15,815
But why?
261
00:10:15,817 --> 00:10:17,416
Other than
you two fighting,
262
00:10:17,418 --> 00:10:20,086
we're having such a good time.
263
00:10:20,088 --> 00:10:22,822
The minute you left the room,
your precious meemaw
264
00:10:22,824 --> 00:10:24,724
started giving me
a really hard time.
265
00:10:24,726 --> 00:10:26,092
I don't need this.
266
00:10:26,094 --> 00:10:27,093
Let her go.
267
00:10:27,095 --> 00:10:29,028
And under no circumstance
268
00:10:29,030 --> 00:10:31,831
will you give her
that engagement ring.
269
00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:33,966
What ring?
270
00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:36,669
Maybe we should give
them some privacy.
271
00:10:36,671 --> 00:10:37,737
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
272
00:10:37,739 --> 00:10:39,705
You go ahead.
I'll catch up with you.
273
00:10:41,943 --> 00:10:44,143
You have
an engagement ring?
274
00:10:44,145 --> 00:10:46,178
Yes.
275
00:10:47,015 --> 00:10:49,482
Penny, did you know
about this?
276
00:10:49,484 --> 00:10:51,350
All right, let's go.
277
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:03,834
When did you get
an engagement ring?
278
00:11:03,836 --> 00:11:05,002
My mother gave it to me,
279
00:11:05,004 --> 00:11:07,071
and I had been thinking
about giving it to you,
280
00:11:07,073 --> 00:11:08,539
but then we broke up.
281
00:11:08,541 --> 00:11:10,140
Well, thank goodness
for that.
282
00:11:10,142 --> 00:11:12,276
Sheldon, will you please tell
your grandmother
283
00:11:12,278 --> 00:11:13,677
to stay out of this?
284
00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,080
Oh, I don't think
I could do that.
285
00:11:16,082 --> 00:11:17,815
Sheldon, tell this girl
286
00:11:17,817 --> 00:11:20,751
that my ring will never be
on her finger.
287
00:11:20,753 --> 00:11:22,119
Y...
288
00:11:22,121 --> 00:11:25,322
I'm gonna opt out
of that one, too.
289
00:11:25,324 --> 00:11:27,925
Who said I even want
to be engaged to him?
290
00:11:27,927 --> 00:11:29,793
And if I do, I-I don't need
your hand-me-downs!
291
00:11:29,795 --> 00:11:30,794
All right, all right!
292
00:11:30,796 --> 00:11:31,996
Look, l-let's all...
293
00:11:31,998 --> 00:11:33,364
let's remain calm
294
00:11:33,366 --> 00:11:34,665
and analyze this situation.
295
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:36,867
Now, I realize that
you've only known each other
296
00:11:36,869 --> 00:11:38,035
for less than a day,
297
00:11:38,037 --> 00:11:40,838
but is it possible this
crankiness is because
298
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,673
your cycles have synced?
299
00:11:42,675 --> 00:11:44,575
You leave the room
300
00:11:44,577 --> 00:11:46,443
and let the grown-ups talk.
301
00:11:46,445 --> 00:11:47,611
Now.
302
00:11:47,613 --> 00:11:50,547
Don't speak to him
like he's a child.
303
00:11:50,549 --> 00:11:54,018
Thank you. I'm gonna go next
door and play with Leonard.
304
00:11:57,490 --> 00:11:59,657
Okay, so you met this girl,
you exchanged numbers,
305
00:11:59,659 --> 00:12:01,091
and you're gonna
meet up with her.
306
00:12:01,093 --> 00:12:02,726
Just to help her
with her screenplay.
307
00:12:02,728 --> 00:12:04,628
Oh. Well,
I guess that's not so bad.
308
00:12:04,630 --> 00:12:05,663
You weren't there.
309
00:12:05,665 --> 00:12:06,897
He was really flirting.
310
00:12:06,899 --> 00:12:09,833
Hey, it's not my fault
if American women project
311
00:12:09,835 --> 00:12:11,235
heir fantasies on foreigners
312
00:12:11,237 --> 00:12:15,039
with the kind of magical voice
that grants wishes.
313
00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:17,174
I'm sure it was harmless.
314
00:12:17,176 --> 00:12:18,542
People flirt. No big deal.
315
00:12:18,544 --> 00:12:20,511
Really? So it's
okay if I fl...
316
00:12:20,513 --> 00:12:22,680
Not you. I own your ass.
317
00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:26,884
The real question is,
where are you with Emily?
318
00:12:26,886 --> 00:12:28,752
Uh, it's hard to say.
319
00:12:28,754 --> 00:12:30,788
I think we're good,
but things like this
320
00:12:30,790 --> 00:12:33,257
make me wonder if Emily's
really the right person for me.
321
00:12:33,259 --> 00:12:35,326
I mean, did you guys ever have
doubts about each other?
322
00:12:35,328 --> 00:12:37,661
No. Never.
Absolutely.
323
00:12:37,663 --> 00:12:38,796
What?
324
00:12:38,798 --> 00:12:39,997
Howie, you forget
325
00:12:39,999 --> 00:12:41,332
how much of our early dates
326
00:12:41,334 --> 00:12:42,466
involved you doing magic
327
00:12:42,468 --> 00:12:44,168
and me doing this.
328
00:12:45,905 --> 00:12:47,471
Fine.
329
00:12:47,473 --> 00:12:49,606
I had reservations
about you, too.
330
00:12:49,608 --> 00:12:50,407
No, you didn't.
331
00:12:50,409 --> 00:12:52,009
No, I didn't.
332
00:12:52,011 --> 00:12:53,911
Well, it doesn't matter now,
333
00:12:53,913 --> 00:12:55,913
'cause I love
how things worked out.
334
00:12:55,915 --> 00:12:57,047
Me, too.
335
00:12:57,049 --> 00:12:58,949
And I think you're
even more beautiful
336
00:12:58,951 --> 00:13:01,151
han this rose.
337
00:13:06,425 --> 00:13:09,393
Wow. The last time
I saw my grandma,
338
00:13:09,395 --> 00:13:10,828
the most exciting thing
was watching the ash
339
00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:12,596
of her cigarette get longer
and wondering
340
00:13:12,598 --> 00:13:15,299
if it was gonna fall
in her pudding.
341
00:13:15,301 --> 00:13:17,034
Did it?
342
00:13:17,036 --> 00:13:18,035
Yeah, right in there.
343
00:13:18,037 --> 00:13:19,770
She ate it and everything.
344
00:13:19,772 --> 00:13:22,006
Leonard and Penny.
345
00:13:22,008 --> 00:13:23,741
Leonard and Penny.
Leonard and Penny.
346
00:13:23,743 --> 00:13:25,109
Come in!
347
00:13:25,111 --> 00:13:26,410
Hey. What happened?
348
00:13:26,412 --> 00:13:27,611
Is Amy gone?
349
00:13:27,613 --> 00:13:29,346
No. They asked me to leave
350
00:13:29,348 --> 00:13:31,081
so they could speak privately.
351
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:32,983
Uh-oh.
Yeah, I know. It was quite tense.
352
00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:35,652
So here's
the million dollar question:
353
00:13:35,654 --> 00:13:39,390
uh, who wants to pop over there
and get my trains?
354
00:13:42,194 --> 00:13:44,194
All right.
I've made up my mind.
355
00:13:44,196 --> 00:13:46,030
I'm gonna do the right thing,
call this girl,
356
00:13:46,032 --> 00:13:47,865
and let her know
that I'm in a relationship.
357
00:13:47,867 --> 00:13:48,999
Okay, so far we've heard,
358
00:13:49,001 --> 00:13:50,901
“made up my mind,
I'm dumping Emily.”
359
00:13:50,903 --> 00:13:52,636
“Made up my mind
to date both of them
360
00:13:52,638 --> 00:13:55,572
by pretending
to be twin brothers.”
361
00:13:56,442 --> 00:13:57,441
And “made up my mind,
362
00:13:57,443 --> 00:13:58,609
“I'll ask for a threesome
363
00:13:58,611 --> 00:14:01,311
and if they say no,
play it off as a joke.”
364
00:14:01,313 --> 00:14:02,679
I'm calling her.
365
00:14:02,681 --> 00:14:05,916
And the threesome didn't deserve
the belly laugh it got.
366
00:14:05,918 --> 00:14:07,551
You're right.
367
00:14:07,553 --> 00:14:11,021
It could totally happen.
368
00:14:11,023 --> 00:14:12,089
Hello?
369
00:14:12,091 --> 00:14:13,657
Hi. Hi. Yeah, it's Raj.
370
00:14:13,659 --> 00:14:15,592
Rajesh.
We met at the comic book store.
371
00:14:15,594 --> 00:14:17,928
Hey, what's up? Figure out
what time you're free?
372
00:14:17,930 --> 00:14:19,296
Actually,
that's why I'm calling.
373
00:14:19,298 --> 00:14:20,664
I, um... I just...
374
00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:23,333
I need to let you know
that I have a girlfriend.
375
00:14:23,335 --> 00:14:25,269
Okay. Good for you.
376
00:14:26,072 --> 00:14:27,104
Well, no, no.
377
00:14:27,106 --> 00:14:28,272
I-I didn't want to mislead you
378
00:14:28,274 --> 00:14:29,573
after you asked me out.
379
00:14:29,575 --> 00:14:31,208
I didn't ask you out.
380
00:14:31,210 --> 00:14:33,077
I just need help
with my screenplay.
381
00:14:33,079 --> 00:14:35,612
Wait, are you saying
that we didn't have a vibe?
382
00:14:35,614 --> 00:14:37,781
Why do you care if we have
a vibe? You have a girlfriend.
383
00:14:37,783 --> 00:14:39,783
Come on! I just told you
I had a girlfriend.
384
00:14:39,785 --> 00:14:41,705
The least you can do is tell me
if we had a vibe.
385
00:14:43,322 --> 00:14:44,688
Sure, we had a vibe.
386
00:14:44,690 --> 00:14:46,490
I knew it.
Okay, we did have a vibe.
387
00:14:46,492 --> 00:14:47,791
This is exciting.
388
00:14:47,793 --> 00:14:49,960
What's my next move?
389
00:14:49,962 --> 00:14:51,328
You still have a girlfriend.
390
00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:53,497
Right. Good catch.
391
00:14:54,467 --> 00:14:56,133
Anyway, so I'm sorry
to waste your time.
392
00:14:56,135 --> 00:14:57,768
And, uh... and good luck
with your screenplay.
393
00:14:57,770 --> 00:14:59,103
Hang on.
394
00:14:59,105 --> 00:15:00,504
We're both adults.
395
00:15:00,506 --> 00:15:02,706
We can still get together
without it meaning anything.
396
00:15:02,708 --> 00:15:05,075
Not me. Ever since
you admitted we had a vibe,
397
00:15:05,077 --> 00:15:07,010
I've been planning our wedding.
398
00:15:08,414 --> 00:15:11,115
Look, it's just coffee.
399
00:15:11,117 --> 00:15:12,716
I'll ask you some questions
about science,
400
00:15:12,718 --> 00:15:15,552
and if you propose,
I promise to say no.
401
00:15:15,554 --> 00:15:18,789
Okay. That hurts a little,
but okay.
402
00:15:19,492 --> 00:15:21,024
Great. I'll text you.
403
00:15:21,026 --> 00:15:22,626
Bye.
404
00:15:22,628 --> 00:15:23,927
All right.
405
00:15:23,929 --> 00:15:26,864
So, uh, we're meeting
for coffee like two adults.
406
00:15:26,866 --> 00:15:28,765
Everybody's happy. Easy peasy.
407
00:15:28,767 --> 00:15:30,400
Are you gonna tell Emily?
408
00:15:30,402 --> 00:15:31,535
Yeah, of course.
409
00:15:31,537 --> 00:15:33,003
We have no secrets.
410
00:15:33,806 --> 00:15:35,539
When are you gonna tell Emily?
411
00:15:36,408 --> 00:15:38,609
He lied about the cream cheese!
412
00:15:38,611 --> 00:15:40,677
He ate the whole thing!
I saw him!
413
00:15:43,516 --> 00:15:46,016
Look, I know you think
I'm not right for Sheldon,
414
00:15:46,018 --> 00:15:48,018
but trust me,
I'm his best shot.
415
00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:50,521
You have no idea
how much I put up with!
416
00:15:50,523 --> 00:15:52,789
I know more than you think I do.
417
00:15:52,791 --> 00:15:54,925
Really? You know what it's like
to have date night ruined
418
00:15:54,927 --> 00:15:57,661
because Google changed
their font?
419
00:15:57,663 --> 00:15:59,663
Young lady,
420
00:15:59,665 --> 00:16:01,331
if you think I don't know
421
00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:02,566
what it's like to live
422
00:16:02,568 --> 00:16:04,668
with a stubborn,
egotistical man,
423
00:16:04,670 --> 00:16:06,003
then you're wrong.
424
00:16:06,005 --> 00:16:08,038
'Cause that was my husband.
425
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,773
Really?
426
00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:13,744
There were days I wanted to fill
his pockets with corn
427
00:16:13,746 --> 00:16:16,280
and toss him in the pigpen.
428
00:16:17,116 --> 00:16:19,349
Well, if you understand,
429
00:16:19,351 --> 00:16:22,019
then why are you giving me
such a hard time?
430
00:16:22,021 --> 00:16:24,121
Because when you broke up
with Sheldon,
431
00:16:24,123 --> 00:16:25,422
it hurt him deeply,
432
00:16:25,424 --> 00:16:27,858
and I don't want to see
that happen again.
433
00:16:29,061 --> 00:16:31,028
Hi. Sorry.
434
00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:33,263
Sheldon would like
to say something to you.
435
00:16:33,265 --> 00:16:34,331
No, I wouldn't.
436
00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:35,632
Just get in here.
437
00:16:37,036 --> 00:16:38,068
Hello.
438
00:16:38,070 --> 00:16:39,536
Go ahead.
439
00:16:39,538 --> 00:16:41,104
Meemaw, look,
440
00:16:41,106 --> 00:16:43,073
I'm sorry, but...
441
00:16:43,075 --> 00:16:44,374
I have to defend
442
00:16:44,376 --> 00:16:46,310
my girlfriend to you.
443
00:16:46,312 --> 00:16:48,612
Oh, Sheldon, thank you.
444
00:16:48,614 --> 00:16:51,215
Oh, great, now you're gonna
get emotional.
445
00:16:55,854 --> 00:16:59,456
I always looked up
to you and Pop-Pop.
446
00:16:59,458 --> 00:17:01,725
I-I know what
a challenging man he could be,
447
00:17:01,727 --> 00:17:05,062
but I saw you stand
by him and-and make him
448
00:17:05,064 --> 00:17:06,663
into a better person.
449
00:17:06,665 --> 00:17:07,698
I did.
450
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:08,799
Yeah, well, that is exactly
451
00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:10,767
what I've been doing
the last five years
452
00:17:10,769 --> 00:17:13,003
with this little
work in progress.
453
00:17:15,774 --> 00:17:17,975
He never disappoints,
does he?
454
00:17:19,144 --> 00:17:22,179
I think what Sheldon means
to say is
455
00:17:22,181 --> 00:17:24,381
we've both grown together.
456
00:17:24,383 --> 00:17:25,449
Isn't that right?
457
00:17:25,451 --> 00:17:26,850
Well...
458
00:17:26,852 --> 00:17:27,317
Say yes.
459
00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:28,685
Yes.
460
00:17:28,687 --> 00:17:30,087
Fine.
461
00:17:30,089 --> 00:17:33,790
If you feel so strongly,
I won't stand in your way.
462
00:17:33,792 --> 00:17:35,025
Thank you.
463
00:17:35,027 --> 00:17:36,126
So if he wanted
464
00:17:36,128 --> 00:17:38,328
to give me
that engagement ring,
465
00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:40,364
we would have your blessing?
466
00:17:40,366 --> 00:17:42,366
I suppose.
467
00:17:47,673 --> 00:17:49,239
I just gave you
my virginity, woman.
468
00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:50,974
Cool your jets.
469
00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:04,591
Yeah, see, if you
just change the story
470
00:18:04,593 --> 00:18:06,727
to the destruction
of our galaxy,
471
00:18:06,729 --> 00:18:09,229
then a super massive
black hole could work.
472
00:18:09,231 --> 00:18:10,797
This is great.
473
00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:13,066
Thank you so much.
474
00:18:13,068 --> 00:18:14,968
I just got to figure out
a way for everyone
475
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:17,638
to die that isn't too scary
for children.
476
00:18:19,275 --> 00:18:23,076
And that's how
Mommy and Daddy met.
477
00:18:24,546 --> 00:18:26,847
Hey, did you ever tell Emily
about us?
478
00:18:26,849 --> 00:18:28,315
I will!
479
00:18:30,115 --> 00:18:36,615
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man