1
00:01:10,845 --> 00:01:12,835
Radio around here sucks.

2
00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:19,075
Come on, man. Jobs don't get much
sweeter than this, you know.

3
00:01:19,276 --> 00:01:22,470
Dead vic with a gnawed-on neck,
body drained of blood,

4
00:01:22,705 --> 00:01:26,579
and their witness swears up and down
that it was a vampire.

5
00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:30,840
No. I agree.
It's a hell of a case.

6
00:01:33,110 --> 00:01:35,240
A little more gusto, please.

7
00:01:35,270 --> 00:01:38,110
It's just...
the world is coming to an end.

8
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:39,770
Things are a little complicated, you know?

9
00:01:39,810 --> 00:01:42,580
Yeah, well, we can't save the world,
not today anyway.

10
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,470
But what we can do is
chop off some vamps' heads.

11
00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:48,340
Come on, man,
it's like the good old days.

12
00:01:48,370 --> 00:01:50,810
An honest-to-goodness monster hunt.

13
00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:54,940
It's about time the Winchesters
got back to tackling a...

14
00:01:55,070 --> 00:01:58,070
straightforward,
black-and-white case.

15
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:41,810
We still got to see
the new “Raiders” movie.

16
00:02:42,140 --> 00:02:43,582
Saw it.

17
00:02:44,370 --> 00:02:45,830
Without me?

18
00:02:46,110 --> 00:02:47,155
You were in hell.

19
00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:49,826
That's no excuse.

20
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,472
Big pretzel!

21
00:02:58,540 --> 00:02:59,652
Thank you.

22
00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:02,472
Thank you.

23
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,628
Guten tag.

24
00:03:08,510 --> 00:03:09,770
“Guten tag” yourself.

25
00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:19,382
Looks like that's our man.

26
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:23,569
Sheriff Dietrich.

27
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:25,940
Are you the boys from the fed?

28
00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:28,633
Agents Angus and Young.

29
00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:31,800
We called ahead about your, uh, problem.

30
00:03:32,140 --> 00:03:34,070
Right. Um...

31
00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:34,900
I'll tell you what,

32
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:37,440
why don't we talk this out
away from the crowd, huh?

33
00:03:45,970 --> 00:03:48,010
Marissa Wright, 26.

34
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,147
Just up from Lockhard for the fest.

35
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,740
Terrible. Just terrible.

36
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:58,684
It's the last thing this town needs
at peak tourist season.

37
00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,970
Definitely the last thing
Marissa Wright needed.

38
00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:08,340
What the hell?

39
00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:10,040
Yeah, you got me -- I mean,

40
00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:12,470
this killer's some kind of
grade A wacko, right?

41
00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:15,310
I mean, some Satan-worshipping,
Anne Rice-reading,

42
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:17,470
gothic, psycho vampire wannabe.

43
00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:20,070
Sheriff, in your report,
you mentioned a witness.

44
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,310
Yeah, I wished I didn't.

45
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,798
But our witness insisted.

46
00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:26,010
That's Ed Brewer.

47
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,970
Not exactly what you'd call reliable.

47
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:42,970
<font color="#4096d1>Sub : w e R c z
Syncro : w e R c z
www.subscene.com</font>

48
00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:55,540
I remember you.

49
00:04:55,570 --> 00:04:57,210
And I remember you...

50
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,610
Jamie.

51
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,631
I never forget a pretty...

52
00:05:01,286 --> 00:05:02,567
everything.

53
00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:04,940
We're looking for Ed Brewer.

54
00:05:04,970 --> 00:05:06,240
What do you want with Ed?

55
00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:09,240
Well, we are, uh...

56
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:11,270
federal agents.

57
00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,890
Mr. Brewer was witness
to a serious crime. We just…

58
00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:15,870
Wait a minute. You're a fed?

59
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,410
Wow, you don't come on like a fed.

60
00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:22,170
Seriously?

61
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,670
I'm a maverick, ma'am.

62
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:29,270
A rebel with a badge.

63
00:05:29,510 --> 00:05:33,027
One thing I don't play by
-- the rules.

64
00:05:35,470 --> 00:05:36,710
Okay, Maverick.

65
00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:40,900
Um, so, where can we find Mr. Brewer?

66
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,610
I told the cops everything I saw.

67
00:05:52,940 --> 00:05:55,270
No one believes me.

68
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,670
Why should you be any different?

69
00:05:57,910 --> 00:06:01,410
Believe me, Mr. Brewer,
we're different.

70
00:06:02,552 --> 00:06:06,040
I spoke the God's honest truth,
and now I'm the town joke.

71
00:06:06,070 --> 00:06:07,870
Marissa Wright’s murder is no joke to us.

72
00:06:09,138 --> 00:06:10,440
And we want to hear everything,

73
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,510
no matter how strange it may seem.

74
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,970
We have a lot of experience with strange.

75
00:06:26,005 --> 00:06:27,340
It was just after midnight.

76
00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:29,770
I just left here,
and like I do every night,

77
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:32,540
I cut through the park on the way home.

78
00:06:32,670 --> 00:06:35,440
At first, I thought it was a couple kissing.

79
00:06:35,470 --> 00:06:39,670
But she was...
struggling too much.

80
00:06:40,682 --> 00:06:42,601
And this man,

81
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:43,909
he was --

82
00:06:44,552 --> 00:06:46,385
well, he was biting her neck.

83
00:06:47,610 --> 00:06:49,270
Can you describe her assailant?

84
00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:50,840
Oh, he was a vampire.

85
00:06:52,148 --> 00:06:54,570
Okay, right.
And by that, you mean --

86
00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:57,840
You know, a vampire.

87
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:00,640
So, he looked like…

88
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,040
He looked like a vampire.

89
00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:03,540
You know, with the fangs

90
00:07:03,543 --> 00:07:05,510
and the slicked-back hair
and the fancy cape,

91
00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:07,670
and the little medallion thingy on the ribbon.

92
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:09,900
You mean like a Dracula?

93
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,410
Exactly. Like a Dracula.

94
00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:14,670
Right down to the accent.

95
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,840
- The accent?
- Yep.

96
00:07:18,529 --> 00:07:19,670
What did he say?

97
00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:21,725
You know, something like...

98
00:07:22,949 --> 00:07:25,062
“Stay away, mortal!”

99
00:07:25,297 --> 00:07:27,940
“The night is mine!”

100
00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:34,010
You do believe me, don’t you?

101
00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:40,340
They must be here following up
on that murdered woman.

102
00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:42,420
Crazy Ed and his vampire story.

103
00:07:42,430 --> 00:07:44,170
He might be weird, but he's not crazy.

104
00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:45,900
Look, you’re just saying that

105
00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:48,970
'cause the guy has a crush on you
and he tips you in $20s.

106
00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:51,812
Lucy.

107
00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:56,770
So, you got a beer back there for me?

108
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,700
I don't know, agent Young.
You off duty?

109
00:07:58,740 --> 00:08:00,740
And then some.

110
00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:07,240
So, what do you think?

111
00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:09,710
Goth, psycho, vampire wannabe, right?

112
00:08:10,140 --> 00:08:11,640
Definitely not our kind of case.

113
00:08:11,770 --> 00:08:15,710
Agreed. But who cares?

114
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,370
Room's paid for,
and it's Oktoberfest.

115
00:08:19,410 --> 00:08:20,710
Come on, brother.

116
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,277
Beer and bar wenches.

117
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:23,792
Pretty sure women today don't react well

118
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,970
to the whole “wench” thing, Dean.

119
00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:29,800
Hey, bar wench,
where's that beer?

120
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,470
Coming up, good sir!

121
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:36,488
Dude, Oktoberfest.

122
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:38,270
There you go.

123
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:39,670
What can I get you?

124
00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:41,610
Oh, he doesn't drink.

125
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,940
He's a Christian scientist.
Doesn't even take aspirin.

126
00:08:44,970 --> 00:08:47,310
He's a real drag on stakeouts.

127
00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:48,670
You're funny.

128
00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:50,270
I'm a lot more than that.

129
00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:52,260
I'd love to get a chance
to show you the rest.

130
00:08:52,195 --> 00:08:53,240
What time you get off?

131
00:08:53,270 --> 00:08:55,740
Ha ha. Like I said, “funny.”

132
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,270
Man, it is time to right some wrongs.

133
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:02,540
Come again?

134
00:09:03,670 --> 00:09:05,086
Look at me.

135
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:08,526
I came back from the furnace
without any of my old scars, right?

136
00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:11,170
No bullet wounds, knife cuts.

137
00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:13,540
None of the off-angled fingers
from all the breaks.

138
00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:15,800
I mean, my hide is
as smooth as a baby's bottom,

139
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,510
which leads me to conclude,

140
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,372
sadly...

141
00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:23,772
that my virginity is intact.

142
00:09:23,807 --> 00:09:24,510
What?

143
00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:26,610
- I have been re-hymenated.
- Re…

144
00:09:28,226 --> 00:09:29,310
Please.

145
00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:31,277
Dean, maybe angels
can pull you out of hell,

146
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,510
but no one could do that.

147
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:35,440
Brother, I have been re-hymenated.

148
00:09:35,570 --> 00:09:37,840
And the dude will not abide.

149
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:38,970
All right, dude.

150
00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:41,140
Well, you go do whatever you got to do,

151
00:09:41,170 --> 00:09:44,610
and I'm gonna go back
to the room and get some sleep.

152
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:53,410
So? How about tonight?

153
00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:56,965
Oh, sorry.
I promised Lucy a girls' night out.

154
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,282
Besides, no self-respecting bar wench

155
00:10:00,317 --> 00:10:03,476
lets herself get picked up
by a customer on the first try.

156
00:10:03,511 --> 00:10:06,189
Well, I’m not a customer.
I'm a federal agent.

157
00:10:06,224 --> 00:10:07,610
Try again tomorrow, G-man.

158
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:08,840
I wish I could.

159
00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:10,770
- I don't think we're staying on the case.
- What?

160
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,340
Is it too weird for you?

161
00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:15,210
Not weird enough.

162
00:10:32,140 --> 00:10:35,170
- Rick. Did you hear that?
- What?

163
00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:36,510
It sounded like a wolf.

164
00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:39,868
Come on, Marie,
don't change the subject.

165
00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:41,710
I told you what could happen
to a man if he doesn't --

166
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,640
- Those stories aren't true.
- They are.

167
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,940
Baby, if a man doesn't get the stuff

168
00:10:45,970 --> 00:10:48,570
out of his system regularly,
it can back up,

169
00:10:48,610 --> 00:10:52,470
and cause all kinds of...
medical-type problems.

170
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,270
Shh, do you hear that?

171
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:23,820
Anne Marie, there aren't
any wolves in Pennsylvania.

172
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:46,450
And then it just --
it just tore Rick into little pieces.

173
00:11:47,950 --> 00:11:50,000
Ma'am, we understand how hard this is,

174
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,040
but can you describe the creature?

175
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,000
Oh.

176
00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:58,010
It was a werewolf.

177
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,370
A werewolf?

178
00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:02,740
- You're sure?
- Oh, yeah.

179
00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:05,210
With the furry face and the black nose

180
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:09,626
and the claws
and the torn-up pants and shirt,

181
00:12:10,161 --> 00:12:11,370
like from the old movies.

182
00:12:14,210 --> 00:12:15,366
Um...

183
00:12:15,895 --> 00:12:17,289
Well.

184
00:12:17,324 --> 00:12:20,540
Okay, so...

185
00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:22,540
thank you for your time.

186
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:33,918
First a Dracula and now
a full-on movie-time wolf man?

187
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:36,040
What the hell is going on in this town?

188
00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:48,840
Damn!

189
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,170
All right.

190
00:12:53,510 --> 00:12:56,340
Whatever did this
wasn't a psycho wannabe.

191
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:01,770
Look at those bite marks.

192
00:13:02,510 --> 00:13:04,770
Right down to the bone...

193
00:13:04,810 --> 00:13:06,070
and deeper.

194
00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:08,540
Strong enough to tear
a healthy man apart limb from limb.

195
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:09,540
Could be a werewolf.

196
00:13:09,570 --> 00:13:10,910
Yeah, except, look.

197
00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:13,410
The heart's still there in one piece.

198
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:14,910
They never leave the heart behind.

199
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,310
Thus I reiterate --
what the hell is going on?

200
00:13:18,411 --> 00:13:20,240
Well, I was hoping you boys could tell me.

201
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,480
I just got a rush job back from the lab

202
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,410
on those fibers we found on the body.

203
00:13:27,031 --> 00:13:29,857
Canine. Wolf hairs.

204
00:13:35,310 --> 00:13:36,570
I'm getting a headache.

205
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:46,470
I don't know, man. Looks like
we've stumbled on to a...

206
00:13:46,505 --> 00:13:49,095
midnight showing of
“Dracula meets Wolf man.”

207
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:50,240
Is that it?

208
00:13:50,570 --> 00:13:51,410
I don't know.

209
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,110
I mean, wolf man seems real enough.

210
00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:55,640
It makes Dracula seem
a little less impossible, I guess.

211
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:57,110
Yeah, but werewolves
don't grow wolf hair.

212
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,440
- That's just a myth.
- Yeah.

213
00:13:58,970 --> 00:14:01,310
So, what? We've got a vampire

214
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,170
and a werewolf monster
mashing this town?

215
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,140
Looks like you guys are staying a while.

216
00:14:08,770 --> 00:14:10,370
I heard about Rick Deacon.

217
00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:13,837
Yeah, this case just got weird enough
for, uh, our department.

218
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,310
Well, beers are on me.

219
00:14:16,847 --> 00:14:19,970
And, just so you know,
I get off at midnight tonight.

220
00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:23,140
Oh, it's not another,
uh, girls' night out?

221
00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:24,440
Doesn't have to be.

222
00:14:25,452 --> 00:14:27,970
- Okay, then. I'll see you tonight.
- Okay, then.

223
00:14:35,036 --> 00:14:38,170
Hey, you think this Dracula
could turn into a bat?

224
00:14:39,539 --> 00:14:41,040
That'd be cool.

225
00:15:10,270 --> 00:15:11,870
That's right.

226
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:15,870
Yeah, an Egyptian kind of deal.

227
00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:20,210
No, it was just sitting there
on the loading dock.

228
00:15:21,349 --> 00:15:23,729
No, doctor, there's no shipping invoice.

229
00:15:23,764 --> 00:15:25,253
There's no nothing.

230
00:15:25,595 --> 00:15:27,311
I don't know when it was delivered.

231
00:15:27,584 --> 00:15:29,554
It was here when I clocked in tonight.

232
00:15:29,610 --> 00:15:31,506
I thought you'd know what to do.

233
00:15:32,058 --> 00:15:34,470
You think Helen has
any record of it in her files?

234
00:15:52,340 --> 00:15:54,410
Holy mother of crap!

235
00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:01,170
No!

236
00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:06,870
No!

237
00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,240
This sarcophagus isn't ancient.

238
00:16:48,770 --> 00:16:50,970
It's from a prop house in Philly.

239
00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:55,110
Well...

240
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,571
It goes well with the bucket of dry ice
he was keeping in it.

241
00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:02,413
Is he making his own special effects?

242
00:17:02,448 --> 00:17:05,110
A mummy with
a good sense of showmanship.

243
00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:10,123
This is stupid.

244
00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:13,108
Oh, damn it. Jamie. I'm late.

245
00:17:13,143 --> 00:17:15,010
You're good here
with the mummy and the...

246
00:17:15,340 --> 00:17:15,870
crazy --

247
00:17:16,210 --> 00:17:18,540
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

248
00:17:27,670 --> 00:17:29,975
Your loss, G-man.

249
00:17:42,718 --> 00:17:43,540
Good evening.

250
00:17:53,886 --> 00:17:57,910
I have watched you
many nights from afar.

251
00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:01,710
My passion knows no bounds, Mina.

252
00:18:03,479 --> 00:18:07,640
You are the reincarnation of my beloved,

253
00:18:07,870 --> 00:18:10,470
and I must have you.

254
00:18:11,070 --> 00:18:12,370
Ohh!

255
00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:15,840
Mary, son of a...

256
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,097
Jamie!

257
00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:22,210
Son of a bitch.

258
00:18:22,210 --> 00:18:24,010
You should not use such language

259
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,870
in the presence of my bride.

260
00:18:28,477 --> 00:18:29,540
Okay.

261
00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:38,913
Jamie, run!

262
00:18:38,940 --> 00:18:42,410
You have no choice
in the matter, Mr. Harker.

263
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:45,570
Mina is mine!

264
00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:38,924
- Hey.
- You guys all right?

265
00:19:38,959 --> 00:19:40,828
Yeah, I think so.

266
00:19:41,110 --> 00:19:42,610
And I think I know what's going on.

267
00:19:42,740 --> 00:19:43,610
Yeah?

268
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:45,270
Part of it at least.

269
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,270
Uh, the ear part?

270
00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:53,340
Ripped it off of Dracula’s head.
Touch it.

271
00:20:01,170 --> 00:20:03,070
Feel familiar to you?

272
00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:04,810
Oh, man.

273
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,370
The skin of a shapeshifter,

274
00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:08,276
Just like St. Louis
and just like Milwaukee.

275
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:11,570
Of course this one's all
holding buckets of crazy.

276
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:14,510
Oh, and, uh...

277
00:20:14,770 --> 00:20:17,570
This I, uh, pulled it off during the fight.

278
00:20:17,610 --> 00:20:18,940
Look at the label on the ribbon.

279
00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:23,970
It's a costume rental.

280
00:20:24,010 --> 00:20:26,840
All three monsters --the Dracula,
wolf man, and the mummy --

281
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,355
all the same critter,

282
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:29,665
which means we need to catch this freak

283
00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:32,510
before he "Creature from
the Black Lagoon"s somebody.

284
00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:35,260
So, you guys are like
Mulder and Scully or something,

285
00:20:35,270 --> 00:20:38,010
and The X-files are real?

286
00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:41,970
No, “The X-files” is a TV show.
This is real.

287
00:20:44,569 --> 00:20:48,446
Okay, so, the stagecraft,
the costuming

288
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:51,648
It's like he's trying to reenact
his favorite monster-movie moments.

289
00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:53,570
Right down to the bloody murders.

290
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:55,810
Wait a second.
Who the hell is Mina?

291
00:20:55,940 --> 00:20:56,840
- Mina?
- Yeah.

292
00:20:57,270 --> 00:20:58,070
That's what he called Jamie.

293
00:20:58,110 --> 00:20:59,540
And he called me Mr. Harker.

294
00:20:59,570 --> 00:21:01,010
Jonathan Harker?

295
00:21:03,010 --> 00:21:05,640
They're characters from
the movies and the novels --

296
00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:07,870
Mina, Dracula’s intended bride,

297
00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:10,836
Harker, the fiance that stands in the way.

298
00:21:11,310 --> 00:21:12,509
Seems like he's fixating on you,

299
00:21:12,510 --> 00:21:14,710
like he sees you as his bride.

300
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:17,370
Wow. Lucky me.

301
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,610
But to fixate on you,

302
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,810
my guess is that the shifter
has to have seen you before

303
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,210
or been around you.

304
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,870
Jamie, has anybody strange come to town,

305
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,010
somebody that has taken
a specific notice of you?

306
00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:30,540
I don't know, Dean.
It's Oktoberfest.

307
00:21:31,070 --> 00:21:35,240
I'm a bartender.
There's lots of people.

308
00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:36,710
I...

309
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,370
Wait a second. There is Ed.

310
00:21:39,410 --> 00:21:40,570
“Ed Brewer” Ed?

311
00:21:41,210 --> 00:21:42,840
Yeah.

312
00:21:43,070 --> 00:21:44,770
He moved here about a month ago.

313
00:21:44,810 --> 00:21:46,740
Lucy swears he has a crush on me.

314
00:21:47,570 --> 00:21:49,370
He comes in almost every night.

315
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:52,010
But, you know, I don't think
he's the type of guy --

316
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,040
Where does Ed live?

317
00:21:53,670 --> 00:21:55,370
I don't know.

318
00:21:55,510 --> 00:21:57,170
But he works at the old movie theater.

319
00:21:57,210 --> 00:21:59,680
I think he's a projectionist there.

320
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:02,710
- Take care of Mina?
- Yep.

321
00:22:08,070 --> 00:22:11,310
So, monsters are real.

322
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,370
Some of them, yeah.

323
00:22:13,410 --> 00:22:15,110
And the shapeshifter,

324
00:22:15,540 --> 00:22:17,970
he can turn into different people.

325
00:22:18,610 --> 00:22:19,140
Yeah.

326
00:22:19,570 --> 00:22:21,322
Yeah, except this one's turning into

327
00:22:21,357 --> 00:22:23,110
the great monsters of screenland,

328
00:22:23,140 --> 00:22:24,410
which is a new one for me.

329
00:22:26,940 --> 00:22:30,410
You're not really FBI, are you?

330
00:22:31,140 --> 00:22:32,384
Not so much.

331
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,470
So, this is what you do?

332
00:22:35,710 --> 00:22:39,040
You and your partner
just tramp across the country

333
00:22:39,070 --> 00:22:43,695
on your own dime until you find
some horrible nightmare to fight?

334
00:22:45,940 --> 00:22:47,445
Some people paying.

335
00:22:48,220 --> 00:22:49,364
Wow.

336
00:22:50,099 --> 00:22:51,310
What?

337
00:22:52,540 --> 00:22:53,722
That must suck.

338
00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:58,940
I mean, you’re giving up
your life for this terrible...

339
00:22:59,270 --> 00:23:01,470
I don't know, responsibility.

340
00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:12,010
Last few years,
I started thinking that way,

341
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:16,724
and, uh, you know,
it started sort of weighing on me.

342
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,610
Of course, that was before...

343
00:23:30,015 --> 00:23:34,470
A little while ago, I had this…

344
00:23:34,510 --> 00:23:37,040
let's called it a near-death experience.

345
00:23:37,670 --> 00:23:39,410
Very near.

346
00:23:46,570 --> 00:23:48,422
When I came to...

347
00:23:49,570 --> 00:23:50,969
things were different.

348
00:23:52,540 --> 00:23:54,545
My life's been different.

349
00:23:55,870 --> 00:23:59,126
I realize that I help people.

350
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,140
Not just help them, you know,
I save them.

351
00:24:03,270 --> 00:24:06,710
I guess it's -- it's awesome.

352
00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:12,610
It's kind of like a gift.

353
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:17,170
Like a mission.

354
00:24:17,910 --> 00:24:19,350
Kind of like a...

355
00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:21,598
mission from God.

356
00:24:24,770 --> 00:24:29,340
So, does that make you...

357
00:24:29,370 --> 00:24:32,310
some kind of monk or something?

358
00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:35,969
You know, celibate?

359
00:24:36,540 --> 00:24:38,796
Man, I hope not.

360
00:24:54,570 --> 00:24:57,170
Holy crap. Oh, my God. Jamie.

361
00:24:57,210 --> 00:24:58,971
Guys, I’m -- I'm sorry.

362
00:24:58,980 --> 00:25:00,219
I thought you guys were going out.

363
00:25:00,220 --> 00:25:03,129
Lucy, it's okay.
Listen...

364
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,426
You know what? I just --
I came to borrow a bottle.

365
00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:09,540
I kind of got something
going back at my...

366
00:25:10,467 --> 00:25:13,065
Anyway, uh, you guys look really busy,

367
00:25:13,070 --> 00:25:15,269
so I'm just gonna get out of your hair.

368
00:25:15,310 --> 00:25:18,740
No, seriously, Lucy,
it's been a crazy night.

369
00:25:18,770 --> 00:25:21,070
Stay for a drink.

370
00:25:21,110 --> 00:25:23,305
Yeah. Stay for a drink.

371
00:26:34,710 --> 00:26:36,270
You, FBI man -- what did I --

372
00:26:36,410 --> 00:26:38,940
- Shut up, okay, you know what you did.
- What?

373
00:26:38,970 --> 00:26:39,910
I know what you are.

374
00:26:39,940 --> 00:26:41,940
I'm not anything.
I just like to play the casio.

375
00:26:42,570 --> 00:26:43,810
Had time to grow the ear back, huh?

376
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:44,810
What? Ow!

377
00:26:50,340 --> 00:26:51,308
It's supposed to come off.

378
00:26:51,470 --> 00:26:53,240
No, it’s not!

379
00:26:56,310 --> 00:26:59,970
Oh, that sounds awful.
Jamie, honey, are you okay?

380
00:27:00,010 --> 00:27:02,070
Oh, I am fine.

381
00:27:02,110 --> 00:27:03,775
Ed didn't even touch me.

382
00:27:03,870 --> 00:27:07,470
Dean, he just flew right in
and fought him off.

383
00:27:07,510 --> 00:27:10,040
Well, I didn't actually fly, but

384
00:27:10,070 --> 00:27:11,982
it sure seemed
that way at the time.

385
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,710
It was really, really something.

386
00:27:16,740 --> 00:27:18,040
Jamie?

387
00:27:19,570 --> 00:27:23,210
So, Dean, are you like a black belt or what?

388
00:27:29,010 --> 00:27:33,094
Well, I guess they train you
to fight at the academy or whatever.

389
00:27:37,010 --> 00:27:40,217
Dean, what are you doing?

390
00:27:45,340 --> 00:27:46,910
It's you, isn’t it?

391
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,840
Oh, damn it!

392
00:28:00,510 --> 00:28:02,240
What did you put in our drinks?!

393
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:08,540
That's all right.
I'll skin you myself.

394
00:28:15,870 --> 00:28:19,640
And...scene.

395
00:28:47,610 --> 00:28:50,270
Oh, come on.

396
00:29:02,192 --> 00:29:05,009
She is beautiful, no?

397
00:29:06,070 --> 00:29:09,254
Bride number three from the first film.

398
00:29:10,710 --> 00:29:15,334
She never got the acclaim
that she deserved.

399
00:29:16,416 --> 00:29:18,818
Which is why I chose her shape,

400
00:29:18,910 --> 00:29:23,840
her form to move among
the mortals unnoticed,

401
00:29:24,270 --> 00:29:28,670
to listen to the cricket songs of the living.

402
00:29:28,710 --> 00:29:34,534
That is when I discovered
my bride had been reborn

403
00:29:35,470 --> 00:29:36,940
in this century.

404
00:29:38,940 --> 00:29:40,917
I can't get over
what a pumpkin-pie-eyed,

405
00:29:40,940 --> 00:29:43,640
crazy son of a bitch you really are.

406
00:29:44,270 --> 00:29:48,370
You're not Dracula.
You get that, right?

407
00:29:48,410 --> 00:29:50,570
Or even if you think you are Dracula,

408
00:29:50,610 --> 00:29:52,310
what the hell's up with the mummy?!

409
00:29:54,470 --> 00:29:57,545
I am all monsters!

410
00:29:57,670 --> 00:30:00,970
Life ain't a movie, you sorry sack of…

411
00:30:02,740 --> 00:30:07,040
Life is small,

412
00:30:07,370 --> 00:30:11,370
meager, messy.

413
00:30:11,410 --> 00:30:16,504
The movies are grand, simple, elegant.

414
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:21,610
I have chosen elegance.

415
00:30:23,370 --> 00:30:25,470
You think “elegance” is really the word

416
00:30:25,510 --> 00:30:29,370
for what you did to Marissa
or Rick deacon

417
00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:30,910
or any of the others?!

418
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:32,891
But of course,

419
00:30:33,282 --> 00:30:36,335
it is a monster movie, after all.

420
00:30:36,470 --> 00:30:40,955
You do realize what happens
at the end of every monster movie?

421
00:30:42,105 --> 00:30:47,010
But this movie is mine.

422
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:51,140
And in it, the monster wins.

423
00:30:51,170 --> 00:30:54,740
The monster gets the girl.

424
00:30:54,870 --> 00:30:57,690
And the hero, he’s...

425
00:30:58,952 --> 00:31:01,199
electrocuted.

426
00:31:02,940 --> 00:31:06,071
And tonight, Jonathan Harker,

427
00:31:06,268 --> 00:31:10,589
you will be my hero.

428
00:31:10,370 --> 00:31:12,153
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

429
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,646
Please, excuse me.

430
00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:54,770
Good evening.

431
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,270
Uh...pizza delivery.

432
00:31:59,410 --> 00:32:03,010
Ah, you've brought a repast.

433
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:04,440
Excellent.

434
00:32:04,570 --> 00:32:06,640
Continue to be of such service,

435
00:32:06,770 --> 00:32:10,340
and your life will be spared.

436
00:32:11,170 --> 00:32:12,610
Uh-huh.

437
00:32:15,810 --> 00:32:18,151
That'll be $15.50.

438
00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:19,709
- Tell me.
- Yeah?

439
00:32:19,770 --> 00:32:24,170
Is there garlic on this pizza?

440
00:32:25,870 --> 00:32:29,157
I don't know.
Did you order garlic?

441
00:32:29,070 --> 00:32:30,440
No.

442
00:32:30,870 --> 00:32:32,654
Then no. Look, mister,

443
00:32:32,689 --> 00:32:34,060
I got four other deliveries to make.

444
00:32:34,070 --> 00:32:36,654
You want to just pay me
the money so I can go?

445
00:32:36,810 --> 00:32:39,610
Of course. Yes.

446
00:32:40,540 --> 00:32:42,147
But I have a coupon.

447
00:32:52,940 --> 00:32:56,340
Dean, hey, listen, uh,
Ed is not our guy.

448
00:32:56,370 --> 00:32:57,510
I'm guessing
you're at home with Jamie,

449
00:32:57,514 --> 00:32:59,770
so just give me a call, okay?

450
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,970
Lucy.

451
00:33:38,670 --> 00:33:42,270
You wake.

452
00:33:42,810 --> 00:33:46,770
The gown, it suits your beauty.

453
00:33:47,210 --> 00:33:49,640
Please, put it on.

454
00:33:50,855 --> 00:33:52,386
Where am I?

455
00:33:53,010 --> 00:33:54,752
What have you done with Dean?

456
00:33:54,770 --> 00:33:58,340
Harker is resting elsewhere.

457
00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:02,510
Please, put on the gown
and you may dine.

458
00:34:02,540 --> 00:34:05,410
We are having pizza.

459
00:34:08,540 --> 00:34:09,810
What?

460
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,370
What is wrong with you?

461
00:34:13,110 --> 00:34:15,000
You made up Lucy, right?

462
00:34:16,279 --> 00:34:18,114
Pretended to be my friend.

463
00:34:18,570 --> 00:34:21,205
I needed to know if you were the one.

464
00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:23,070
You could try talking to people!

465
00:34:23,110 --> 00:34:25,540
But instead you become this?

466
00:34:25,770 --> 00:34:26,140
The gown.

467
00:34:26,170 --> 00:34:29,040
I don't want to play
your stupid game, okay?

468
00:34:29,070 --> 00:34:30,029
I just...

469
00:34:31,112 --> 00:34:32,648
I just want to go home.

470
00:34:32,710 --> 00:34:35,059
Put on the gown!

471
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,910
I-I scared you.

472
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,370
You were the only one
I don't want to scare.

473
00:35:39,540 --> 00:35:41,840
I used to love the movies.

474
00:35:42,670 --> 00:35:44,770
They aren't real.

475
00:35:44,810 --> 00:35:48,470
You can't make them real.

476
00:35:48,810 --> 00:35:54,540
“Real” is being born this way.

477
00:35:54,570 --> 00:35:55,778
Different.

478
00:35:56,578 --> 00:36:02,076
“Real” is having your dad
call you “monster.”

479
00:36:02,510 --> 00:36:04,274
It's the first time you hear the word,

480
00:36:04,792 --> 00:36:08,171
and he tries to beat you
to death with a shovel.

481
00:36:09,210 --> 00:36:12,140
Everywhere I ran,
everywhere I tried to hide,

482
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:16,870
people found me,
dragged me out and attacked me,

483
00:36:17,410 --> 00:36:21,940
called me “freak,”
called me “monster.”

484
00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:28,970
Then I found them.

485
00:36:31,410 --> 00:36:34,570
The great monsters.

486
00:36:34,610 --> 00:36:38,010
In their movies, they were strong.

487
00:36:38,140 --> 00:36:41,770
They were feared.

488
00:36:41,910 --> 00:36:43,570
They were beautiful.

489
00:36:44,510 --> 00:36:46,910
And now I am like them.

490
00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:51,170
Commanding.

491
00:36:53,510 --> 00:36:55,318
Terrifying.

492
00:36:56,870 --> 00:36:58,110
Lonely.

493
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,670
Was lonely.

494
00:37:02,910 --> 00:37:04,670
Now I…

495
00:37:05,010 --> 00:37:06,534
I have you.

496
00:37:08,010 --> 00:37:11,771
Ever think that maybe you're lonely
because you kill people?

497
00:37:12,310 --> 00:37:16,187
Or I kill people because I'm lonely.

498
00:37:19,140 --> 00:37:20,615
Did you hear that?

499
00:37:20,870 --> 00:37:23,410
What?

500
00:37:23,740 --> 00:37:24,662
Dean?

501
00:37:25,470 --> 00:37:26,852
Dean!

502
00:37:41,910 --> 00:37:44,710
Oh, thank God.
Just in the nick of time.

503
00:37:44,740 --> 00:37:47,470
That guy was about to Frankenstein me.

504
00:37:53,470 --> 00:37:54,090
Hey there, Hansel.

505
00:37:54,110 --> 00:37:55,133
Shut up!

506
00:38:13,410 --> 00:38:14,631
Let's go.

507
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,842
You will never be Van Helsing!

508
00:38:39,070 --> 00:38:43,158
And you, Harker, now you die.

509
00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:48,195
How 'bout now you shut the hell up?

510
00:39:00,740 --> 00:39:01,901
Silver?

511
00:39:13,010 --> 00:39:19,209
It was beauty that killed the beast.

512
00:39:20,870 --> 00:39:24,943
No, Mina, do not weep.

513
00:39:28,910 --> 00:39:36,732
Perhaps this is how
the movie should end.

514
00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:05,640
Well, thank you, G-man.

515
00:40:05,670 --> 00:40:09,351
You have been a great service to your country.

516
00:40:09,370 --> 00:40:12,740
Oh, yes, I'm very, very patriotic.

517
00:40:18,470 --> 00:40:19,523
Bye.

518
00:40:20,110 --> 00:40:21,178
Bye.

519
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:29,840
You guys saved my life, you know?

520
00:40:29,870 --> 00:40:32,410
So, thanks.

521
00:40:35,770 --> 00:40:36,978
I like her.

522
00:40:37,170 --> 00:40:39,528
Feels good to be back on the job, ain’t it?

523
00:40:39,710 --> 00:40:40,975
Yeah, it does.

524
00:40:41,010 --> 00:40:43,326
The hero gets the girl,
monster gets the gank --

525
00:40:43,361 --> 00:40:45,676
all in all, happy ending --

526
00:40:46,023 --> 00:40:48,096
with a happy ending, no less.

527
00:40:48,570 --> 00:40:49,858
Real classy, Dean.

528
00:40:50,210 --> 00:40:52,636
Hey, all I'm saying is the shifter man
had a point, you know?

529
00:40:53,094 --> 00:40:55,612
It'd be nice if life was movie, simple.

530
00:40:56,254 --> 00:40:57,734
Although, if I was turning life into a movie,

531
00:40:57,810 --> 00:41:00,493
I wouldn't do this “Abbott and Costello
meet the monster” crap.

532
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:01,335
Yeah.

533
00:41:01,929 --> 00:41:03,521
No, I know what you'd pick.

534
00:41:04,270 --> 00:41:05,815
No, you don't.

535
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:07,893
Yeah, I do.

536
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:09,448
No, you don't.

537
00:41:09,710 --> 00:41:11,500
- You don't.
- “Porky's II.”

538
00:41:11,540 --> 00:41:13,766
- What?
- You heard me.

539
00:41:17,270 --> 00:41:19,740
Lucky guess.