1 00:00:53,546 --> 00:00:55,844 Figaro 2 00:00:55,948 --> 00:00:59,475 Figaro, figaro, figaro figaro, figaro, figaro 3 00:00:59,585 --> 00:01:02,247 Figaro 4 00:01:02,355 --> 00:01:07,190 [Vocalizing] 5 00:01:10,296 --> 00:01:13,788 The Barbarian of Seville. Quiet! 6 00:01:13,900 --> 00:01:16,095 Pierce, why must you always thwart my attempts... 7 00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:18,796 to bring a little culture into this neolithic pup tent? 8 00:01:18,905 --> 00:01:21,533 - Because I'm a music lover. - [Chortles] 9 00:01:21,641 --> 00:01:25,338 [Continues] 10 00:01:25,444 --> 00:01:29,380 Wait, don't tell me. That's the moose aria from Don Ameche. 11 00:01:29,482 --> 00:01:33,475 - Don Giovanni. - Well, "don" sing anymore, please. 12 00:01:33,586 --> 00:01:36,111 - [Continues] - Hey, you in the balcony. 13 00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:38,952 How can you just sit there without asking for your money back? 14 00:01:39,058 --> 00:01:42,027 - [Continues] - Will you shut up or I'll cry. 15 00:01:43,696 --> 00:01:45,596 - Don't you have ears? - Oh, I'm sorry. 16 00:01:45,698 --> 00:01:47,598 I was just getting lost in this letter from Peg. 17 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,600 Oh, the weekly gut-wrencher, huh? 18 00:01:49,702 --> 00:01:51,602 I'd like to mail it back to her with me in it. 19 00:01:51,704 --> 00:01:53,763 Beej, it doesn't do any good to stew. 20 00:01:53,873 --> 00:01:56,034 You miss them, they miss you... the whole schmear. 21 00:01:56,142 --> 00:01:58,042 I stopped singing for this? 22 00:01:58,144 --> 00:02:00,044 Hey, I'm just homesick and depressed. It's okay. 23 00:02:00,146 --> 00:02:03,843 - Another hour, I'll only be homesick. - Well, how do I look? 24 00:02:03,950 --> 00:02:06,885 - Not that your opinion matters. - In that case, you look great. 25 00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:11,053 - Who's the lucky cadaver? - NurseJacqueline Carew. 26 00:02:11,157 --> 00:02:14,149 - Bryn Mawr, '48. - Harvard, nothing. 27 00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:16,160 [Chuckles] That's good. 28 00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,492 Jest if you will, but this will be an evening to remember. 29 00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:22,465 - Italian opera, French wine... - And a Mexican standoff. 30 00:02:22,568 --> 00:02:25,036 - [Knocking] - Sirs, are you busy? 31 00:02:25,137 --> 00:02:27,332 No, Radar, come in. And bring your bodyguard with you. 32 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,841 Sir, uh, this is Kim Sing. You know her father, Su Sing. 33 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,968 Su Sing? Oh, yeah. 34 00:02:33,079 --> 00:02:35,843 That nice little guy who sells vegetables to the company mess. 35 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:38,314 - He's not so little. - Don't be short with me, Radar. 36 00:02:38,417 --> 00:02:40,351 - What's up, Radar? - Oh, listen. 37 00:02:40,453 --> 00:02:42,580 I think her father's really sick. I mean, he's got a fever. 38 00:02:42,688 --> 00:02:44,918 He's got chest pains. He's coughing up blood and everything. 39 00:02:45,024 --> 00:02:48,482 - Probably pneumonia. - Aren't the people in this area issued sulfa? 40 00:02:48,594 --> 00:02:50,926 Yes, Charles, they are, but they sell it in order to buy food. 41 00:02:51,030 --> 00:02:53,021 Then they walk around infecting each other. 42 00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:55,362 I used to donate one Thursday afternoon a month... 43 00:02:55,468 --> 00:02:57,663 to the respiratory unit at Mass General. 44 00:02:57,770 --> 00:02:59,670 Uh, well, maybe you could go see him then, sir. 45 00:02:59,772 --> 00:03:02,104 Certainly not. This isn't Thursday... 46 00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:04,403 we are not in Massachusetts, and I have a date. 47 00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:07,035 Gentlemen. Corporal. 48 00:03:07,146 --> 00:03:09,706 You know, if he had a conscience, it still wouldn't bother him. 49 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:12,375 I'll go with her, Radar. I'm not doing myself any good sitting here. 50 00:03:12,485 --> 00:03:14,851 Just what you need, a nice pleasant change of problems. 51 00:03:14,954 --> 00:03:18,117 - You move, please. We go now. - Right away, honey. 52 00:03:18,224 --> 00:03:21,716 Not right away, now. Move, please. 53 00:03:22,928 --> 00:03:25,226 I think I'll be going now. 54 00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:27,959 Figaro, figaro, figaro 55 00:03:28,067 --> 00:03:30,399 Shave and a haircut two bits 56 00:03:30,503 --> 00:03:34,303 Oh, that's where that's from. 57 00:03:34,407 --> 00:03:37,774 - You go fast. - I promise you we'll get there as fast as we can. 58 00:03:37,877 --> 00:03:40,368 - You go fast. - Look, honey, don't worry. 59 00:03:41,881 --> 00:03:44,281 Right. Shut up and drive. 60 00:03:44,383 --> 00:03:48,649 - [Engine Starts] - [Siren Wailing] 61 00:03:57,596 --> 00:03:59,496 Shut that blasted thing off. 62 00:03:59,598 --> 00:04:01,964 The general said shut that blasted thing off. 63 00:04:02,068 --> 00:04:05,401 Can we have it quiet out here? Our snipers are trying to sleep. 64 00:04:05,504 --> 00:04:08,871 - Who's this soldier's C.O.? - General Prescott wants to know who's your C.O., soldier? 65 00:04:08,974 --> 00:04:12,205 - Here's our maestro now. - All right. What's the big stink all about? 66 00:04:12,311 --> 00:04:15,906 Oh, uh, General. 67 00:04:16,015 --> 00:04:19,143 May I present the nearest thing we have to a general... Colonel Sherman Potter. 68 00:04:19,251 --> 00:04:21,185 This is Brigadier General Marion Prescott. 69 00:04:21,287 --> 00:04:22,982 - Marion. - Leave it alone. 70 00:04:23,089 --> 00:04:26,286 - You look familiar, Colonel. Do I know you? - I don't think so, General. 71 00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:28,360 - Were you in World War II? - Yes, sir. 72 00:04:28,461 --> 00:04:31,259 - I knew you looked familiar. - Uh, right. 73 00:04:31,363 --> 00:04:33,388 What can we do for you, sir? 74 00:04:33,499 --> 00:04:36,935 I had a little fracas at the front. That's where I got this. 75 00:04:37,036 --> 00:04:39,027 No kidding. I've been looking all over for one of those. 76 00:04:39,138 --> 00:04:41,038 - Pierce. - Somebody help me down. 77 00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:44,974 The general was felled in the midst of action while traversing battalion combat positions. 78 00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:49,013 [General Groaning] I wish they'd keep those foxholes in plain view. 79 00:04:49,115 --> 00:04:51,083 Well, you came to the right place, General. 80 00:04:51,183 --> 00:04:54,311 A day on your back and some ice, and you'll be waltzing on that ankle. 81 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,354 Just follow the two little left feet on the floor. 82 00:04:56,455 --> 00:04:59,083 Hey, hey, hold it. I haven't got time to loll around. 83 00:04:59,191 --> 00:05:01,659 Just wrap a bandage around it. I wanna be out of here in an hour. 84 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,660 I'll have you bandaged in half an hour. 85 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:06,697 - Of course, they'll have to leave off the gold braid. - Pierce. 86 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,325 [Dog Barking] 87 00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:14,998 [Speaking Korean] 88 00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:17,473 Be it ever so humble... 89 00:05:20,813 --> 00:05:24,749 - [Speaking Korean] - [Speaking Korean] 90 00:05:24,850 --> 00:05:28,217 I'm sorry. "Hello" and "Put it on Hawkeye's tab" is the only Korean I know. 91 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,220 Will you tell your mother I'm a doctor? 92 00:05:30,322 --> 00:05:32,847 Doctor. 93 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:36,758 - Doctor. - Doctor, come. Please. 94 00:05:38,497 --> 00:05:40,465 - [Coughing] - Hi. 95 00:05:40,566 --> 00:05:45,765 Hello. I'm Dr. Hunnicutt, the center of attention. 96 00:05:47,006 --> 00:05:49,201 [Speaking Korean] 97 00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:52,142 You fix him up, Doc. 98 00:05:52,244 --> 00:05:56,237 [Chuckles] Looks like you could use a good blanket, Su Sing. 99 00:05:56,348 --> 00:05:58,509 - Does your chest hurt a lot? - [Speaking Korean] 100 00:05:58,617 --> 00:06:01,279 - [Coughing] - Okay, okay. Sit up. 101 00:06:01,387 --> 00:06:04,379 I get the picture. 102 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:09,052 - Can you breathe for me? [Inhales] - [Coughing] 103 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:13,097 Mrs. Sing, I'm afraid your husband has a severe case of pneumonia. 104 00:06:13,199 --> 00:06:15,099 Do you understand... pneumonia? 105 00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:19,236 I'm gonna give him a shot. 106 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:22,034 Then I'll come back tomorrow and give him another one. 107 00:06:22,141 --> 00:06:26,601 But I need you to make sure, it's very important, that he gets two of these pills... 108 00:06:26,712 --> 00:06:28,805 two of these pills every day. 109 00:06:28,914 --> 00:06:32,475 And give one to everyone in the family, so they don't get sick like Papa-san, okay? 110 00:06:32,585 --> 00:06:34,485 I will give later. 111 00:06:34,587 --> 00:06:36,714 Uh, no, not later, now. 112 00:06:36,822 --> 00:06:38,722 I'd like to see them get the medicine. 113 00:06:38,824 --> 00:06:41,122 - I'm kinda funny that way. - Okay. 114 00:06:41,227 --> 00:06:43,991 Now you roll over, Su Sing. There you go. 115 00:06:44,096 --> 00:06:45,996 Papa-san work in field soon? 116 00:06:46,098 --> 00:06:48,259 Not for a while, honey. He needs rest. 117 00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:51,894 He needs to be kept warm and dry and get decent food. 118 00:06:52,004 --> 00:06:54,097 I'd like to take him back to the MASH with me. 119 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,504 No, stay together! 120 00:06:56,609 --> 00:06:59,874 - He can get decent care there. - No, stay together! 121 00:06:59,979 --> 00:07:04,313 [Scoffs, Speaking Korean] 122 00:07:04,416 --> 00:07:07,783 She much afraid that we not stay together. 123 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,650 We lose one son already... Cho-Duk. 124 00:07:10,756 --> 00:07:12,656 He was killed? 125 00:07:12,758 --> 00:07:15,659 - Army take him. - And you haven't heard from him since? 126 00:07:15,761 --> 00:07:18,662 You help find Cho-Duk? 127 00:07:18,764 --> 00:07:21,528 I don't have many connections with the South Korean Army. 128 00:07:21,634 --> 00:07:24,535 - Please? - There's almost no chance of finding him. 129 00:07:24,637 --> 00:07:27,504 Please. [Speaking Korean] 130 00:07:27,606 --> 00:07:29,870 Sure. No problem. 131 00:07:29,975 --> 00:07:32,307 All right. Be a brave little soldier. Bite down on the flask. 132 00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:35,972 Hey, don't be smart-alecky. [Agonizing Yell] 133 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:39,573 - Ooh, gee, I'm sorry I heard you scream, General. - What do you want? 134 00:07:39,685 --> 00:07:42,347 Uh, I need the general's signatures on these general release forms. 135 00:07:42,454 --> 00:07:44,445 Can you write with the other foot? 136 00:07:44,556 --> 00:07:46,456 - Gimme those. - Yes, sir. 137 00:07:46,558 --> 00:07:50,153 - [Groans] - And a DA-5 release for the release forms. 138 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:53,754 Here you go, General. We're all out of lollipops. You can use these to swat tanks. 139 00:07:53,866 --> 00:07:56,232 Anything, as long as they get me out of this loony bin. 140 00:07:56,335 --> 00:07:58,235 - Please, we call this home. - Yeah. 141 00:07:58,337 --> 00:08:00,567 - Wait. You know how to walk on these? - Get outta my way. 142 00:08:00,673 --> 00:08:02,971 - They come with a set of instructions. - Now you look... [Yells] 143 00:08:03,075 --> 00:08:05,771 - Oh! Oh, no! - Oh, yes. 144 00:08:05,878 --> 00:08:08,870 Oh, my wrist. My wrist! 145 00:08:08,981 --> 00:08:11,449 Okay, take it easy. 146 00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,450 Is it broken? 147 00:08:13,552 --> 00:08:15,452 - I wouldn't try waving good-bye. - [Groans] 148 00:08:15,554 --> 00:08:17,749 Hey, listen, this can't happen. He's already signed out. 149 00:08:17,856 --> 00:08:21,417 "Eight blankets, four pillows, a carton of C-rations, case of condensed milk. '" 150 00:08:21,527 --> 00:08:24,496 - This all for you, Captain? - It's for a Korean family that's barely making it. 151 00:08:24,596 --> 00:08:26,564 Oh, that's really rough. 152 00:08:26,665 --> 00:08:28,599 - No. - I didn't hear that. 153 00:08:28,701 --> 00:08:30,601 Oh, let me put it to you a different way. 154 00:08:30,703 --> 00:08:36,107 "No use of military items by nonmilitary personnel." You know that, Captain. 155 00:08:36,208 --> 00:08:38,403 Zale, these people need help, and I wanna give it to them. 156 00:08:38,510 --> 00:08:40,876 - Sorry. - How 'bout if I pay you for it then? 157 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,947 Please, I'm a man of principle. 158 00:08:43,048 --> 00:08:45,881 Besides, you don't have that kind of money. 159 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,680 All right, Sergeant. Let's deal on a currency a little closer to your heart. 160 00:08:48,787 --> 00:08:52,188 Like your skin. Would "l" Corps approve of that Quonset hut motel... 161 00:08:54,293 --> 00:08:56,261 - That's right. - That's a deal. 162 00:08:57,363 --> 00:08:59,991 Hey, Beej, wait up. How's Su Sing? 163 00:09:00,099 --> 00:09:02,294 It was lobar pneumonia, all right, but he's holding his own. 164 00:09:02,401 --> 00:09:05,700 Good. Welcome back. Or is it good-bye forever? 165 00:09:05,804 --> 00:09:08,671 [Chuckles] Just taking the family a few things to tide them over. 166 00:09:08,774 --> 00:09:12,107 It's incredible the way they live, Hawk. They have absolutely nothing. 167 00:09:12,211 --> 00:09:14,111 I figure somebody has to do something. 168 00:09:14,213 --> 00:09:16,113 - Let me guess... you? - [Chuckles] 169 00:09:16,215 --> 00:09:18,740 I'll stop by there every couple days with whatever I can pick up. 170 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:21,479 Is there anything left? 171 00:09:21,587 --> 00:09:23,953 [Exhales] You should see those kids together... 172 00:09:24,056 --> 00:09:26,923 Kim and her little brother... God, they're sweet. 173 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:31,325 Hey, Beej, there's a lot of sadness in these people's lives. Comes with the territory. 174 00:09:31,430 --> 00:09:33,955 No matter what you do, you're not gonna change it by yourself. 175 00:09:34,066 --> 00:09:36,864 - I know, Hawk. - Yeah, yeah, good. 176 00:09:36,969 --> 00:09:39,631 - Oh, hey, could you guys just hold up for a second. - Hey, Radar. 177 00:09:39,738 --> 00:09:42,104 I hate to tell you this, but you got a run in your face. 178 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,107 No, this is my, uh, protective netting. 179 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,143 Do me a favor, don't start the jeep right now, please. 180 00:09:46,245 --> 00:09:48,270 I think it's going to disturb my bees, okay? 181 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:50,280 Let 'em put their wax in their ears. 182 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:54,819 Oh, hey, listen. This is my queen bee, Isabella. She's being fertilized now. 183 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,548 And that's why we have to be careful and quiet for a little while. 184 00:09:57,656 --> 00:10:00,216 - We won't even tell the king. - Yeah, I'm... I'm breeding them... 185 00:10:00,325 --> 00:10:03,260 you know, for the honey, 'cause Colonel Potter misses it in his tea. 186 00:10:03,362 --> 00:10:05,990 - Can we, uh, can we give a little look? - Yeah, come on. 187 00:10:06,098 --> 00:10:08,623 - Come on. - Yeah, okay. But listen, do me a favor, will you? 188 00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:12,795 Don't stare, 'cause I think it really, uh, bothers them when they're watched. 189 00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:15,669 - Oh. [Mumbling] - What? What? What? 190 00:10:15,774 --> 00:10:17,742 They're all blowing in her ear. 191 00:10:17,843 --> 00:10:20,004 [Bees Buzzing] 192 00:10:20,112 --> 00:10:22,580 - They're finished. - You can tell that? 193 00:10:22,681 --> 00:10:25,479 Sure. She's leaning back on one antenna, smoking a cigarette. 194 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:29,247 Well, fellas, I hate to peep and run, but I got a family to take care of. 195 00:10:29,354 --> 00:10:31,515 - Oh, Radar. Could you do me a favor, Radar? - Yeah. 196 00:10:31,623 --> 00:10:34,353 I wanna track down a South Korean soldier named Cho-Duk Sing. 197 00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:36,360 He's probably with a unit formed in this area. 198 00:10:36,462 --> 00:10:39,192 There was a lot of units formed in this area. That's a pretty big order. 199 00:10:39,298 --> 00:10:41,198 It's pretty important. 200 00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:43,564 - Should I wait up for you? - I'll only be a couple hours. 201 00:10:43,669 --> 00:10:46,229 It'll take you that long just to kiss those kids hello. 202 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:50,170 - [Hammering] - You work hard. 203 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,709 I figure your father can do without the air-conditioning. 204 00:10:52,811 --> 00:10:55,871 - Huh? - It's okay. 205 00:10:55,981 --> 00:10:58,950 Sometimes I don't understand me either. 206 00:10:59,051 --> 00:11:01,076 Here you go. 207 00:11:01,186 --> 00:11:03,586 Here. You. 208 00:11:03,689 --> 00:11:05,589 What's this? 209 00:11:05,691 --> 00:11:07,955 For your Kim. 210 00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:10,119 Oh, honey, I can't take this from you. 211 00:11:10,229 --> 00:11:13,130 Please. We cannot pay. 212 00:11:15,501 --> 00:11:18,959 - You just did. - [Mother Yelling In Korean] 213 00:11:20,372 --> 00:11:24,900 You bring medicine. Please, hurry. 214 00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:27,342 - [Coughing] - Easy. You're gonna be okay. 215 00:11:29,014 --> 00:11:30,914 Have you been giving him the pills? 216 00:11:31,016 --> 00:11:34,008 - Yes, give some. - Some? 217 00:11:34,119 --> 00:11:37,987 Mama-san, it's very important that he get all the pills. 218 00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:41,253 You understand? Don't sell them. 219 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,352 I'll be back tomorrow. I'll bring more pills and another shot. 220 00:11:44,463 --> 00:11:47,091 Okay, B.J. 221 00:11:47,199 --> 00:11:50,965 - You know where my son Cho-Duk? - No, not yet. 222 00:11:51,069 --> 00:11:53,936 - Maybe tomorrow. - Maybe tomorrow. 223 00:11:54,039 --> 00:11:56,667 Okay, B.J., thank you. 224 00:11:56,775 --> 00:11:58,675 [Coughing Continues] 225 00:11:58,777 --> 00:12:02,440 - You don't go now! - I've gotta go, Kim. 226 00:12:02,548 --> 00:12:05,176 You two better get back inside. Your mother may need you. 227 00:12:05,284 --> 00:12:08,447 - Please, you stay? Papa-san very sick. - Please don't go. 228 00:12:08,554 --> 00:12:11,682 Hey, your pop will be okay. I'll be back tomorrow. 229 00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:14,350 [Sobbing] No, no leave. Stay. 230 00:12:14,459 --> 00:12:17,257 - Kim, Kim, it'll be okay. I promise. - Kim scared. 231 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:20,729 Please, you stay? Papa-san need you. 232 00:12:20,832 --> 00:12:23,426 Oh, I gotta go back to camp. They need me there too. 233 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,799 - [Sobbing] - [Sobbing] 234 00:12:25,904 --> 00:12:28,532 Oh, don't cry, honey. 235 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,609 Come on. Sure I'll stay. Of course I'll stay. 236 00:12:35,981 --> 00:12:39,075 - Good afternoon, General. - What's good about it? 237 00:12:39,184 --> 00:12:43,120 - How is your soup today? - I don't know. I haven't tasted it yet. 238 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:46,884 Oh, here, allow me, sir, please. 239 00:12:46,992 --> 00:12:51,326 Here. Here. There we are. 240 00:12:51,430 --> 00:12:54,263 - Plenty of noodles in every spoonful. - Oh, of course. 241 00:12:55,334 --> 00:12:57,825 - [Slurps] - How's that? 242 00:12:57,936 --> 00:12:59,836 - More noodles. More noodles. - Right. 243 00:12:59,938 --> 00:13:01,838 General... [Clears Throat] 244 00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:06,001 Had you ever considered the advantage of having your own private physician? 245 00:13:06,111 --> 00:13:09,012 Someone billeted near you, for example in say... 246 00:13:09,114 --> 00:13:11,639 - well, Tokyo. - You. 247 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,913 - I accept. - Not so fast. You're not even the one who patched me up. 248 00:13:15,020 --> 00:13:17,284 - It was that other loudmouth. - Pierce. 249 00:13:17,389 --> 00:13:19,755 - Yeah, a real wisenheimer. - Precisely. 250 00:13:19,858 --> 00:13:23,885 He is competent, but you want more than mere competence. 251 00:13:23,996 --> 00:13:27,989 You want a physician with stature, unlimited talent. 252 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,000 You again, I suppose. 253 00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:32,195 Major Charles Emerson Winchester at your service. 254 00:13:32,304 --> 00:13:34,898 And again... [Chuckles] I accept. 255 00:13:36,575 --> 00:13:38,475 You sound like a sissy. 256 00:13:38,577 --> 00:13:40,477 But you might have something there. 257 00:13:40,579 --> 00:13:42,479 - Personal physician, huh? - Hmm. 258 00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:44,481 - Are you good? - In a word... great. 259 00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:46,483 The best. Nonpareil. 260 00:13:46,585 --> 00:13:49,053 Might come in handy at the front. 261 00:13:49,154 --> 00:13:51,418 The... front. 262 00:13:51,523 --> 00:13:55,254 As in "up at the front"? 263 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,351 Lots of fireworks there. 264 00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:00,090 Wouldn't mind having a sawbones by my side when the shelling starts. 265 00:14:00,198 --> 00:14:02,723 The shelling. 266 00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:04,825 What are you stopping for? We're down to the chicken. 267 00:14:04,936 --> 00:14:09,373 See, General, I had in mind waiting for you in Tokyo. 268 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:12,034 I would be no use to you whatsoever in combat. 269 00:14:12,144 --> 00:14:14,044 You need another kind of doctor for that altogether. 270 00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:16,046 Someone like Pierce here. 271 00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:18,275 Someone at home in a trench. 272 00:14:18,383 --> 00:14:20,715 Someone who thrives on mud and mire. 273 00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,719 One need only check his bunk. 274 00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:25,722 Here you are. Lots of noodles, Pierce. 275 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,384 He begged you to take him away from all this, right? 276 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,757 You two would never work out. After your first spat... 277 00:14:30,862 --> 00:14:32,989 you'd run home to MacArthur, and he'd go back to his mother. 278 00:14:33,098 --> 00:14:34,998 Give me that. 279 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,830 The bigger they are, the nicer they are. 280 00:14:37,936 --> 00:14:41,428 Hello, stranger. Come in to pick up your mail? 281 00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:44,008 Papa-san's been having some problems. The kids were scared... 282 00:14:44,109 --> 00:14:46,100 - so I stayed up all night with them. - No improvement. 283 00:14:46,211 --> 00:14:48,111 Not yet. I'm gonna check back after I finish rounds. 284 00:14:48,213 --> 00:14:50,181 It's okay. I covered for you. 285 00:14:50,282 --> 00:14:52,182 - Thanks. I owe you one. - Just get some sleep. 286 00:14:52,284 --> 00:14:55,014 Later. I'm gonna scrounge up some lumber, see if I can finish the roof. 287 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,918 - Beej, you look exhausted. Get some sleep. - I'll get some when I need it. 288 00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:00,514 You know that sentence that begins "It's none of my business, but..."? 289 00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:02,718 Hawk, they need me, and I wanna do it. 290 00:15:02,828 --> 00:15:04,989 Uh-huh. See you later. 291 00:15:05,097 --> 00:15:09,056 Good afternoon, General. Corporal Max Klinger, Section Eight. 292 00:15:09,167 --> 00:15:11,567 Modeling the latest in stateside fashion... 293 00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:15,470 this divine teatime frock is just perfect for those hot afternoons on maneuvers. 294 00:15:15,574 --> 00:15:19,305 And consider the chic design. The hair can be worn in or out. 295 00:15:19,411 --> 00:15:21,675 Then to catch that special psychiatrist's eye... 296 00:15:21,780 --> 00:15:23,839 a provocative portside slit. 297 00:15:23,949 --> 00:15:24,950 Down, screwball. 298 00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:25,974 Down, screwball. 299 00:15:26,084 --> 00:15:28,814 Bucking for a Section Eight in drag doesn't wash with me. 300 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,787 I didn't let my son out for dressing like that. Why should I let you? 301 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,290 Now you get that hairy drumstick off that chair... 302 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,360 or I'll have you plucked and shipped to Leavenworth. 303 00:15:36,461 --> 00:15:38,827 Yes, sir. About face! 304 00:15:38,930 --> 00:15:41,296 Forward march! And... 305 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,663 A pretty girl 306 00:15:43,769 --> 00:15:46,704 Is like a melody 307 00:15:46,805 --> 00:15:49,205 Uh, yeah, that's right, Cho-Duk Sing. 308 00:15:49,307 --> 00:15:51,571 Oh, no, I don't know how to spell it. 309 00:15:51,676 --> 00:15:53,803 I'm afraid to try. 310 00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:57,473 Yeah. Oh, swell. 311 00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,743 They're transferring me to the R.O.K. Liaison. 312 00:15:59,851 --> 00:16:02,581 R.O.K. Liaison, again? You talked to them three transfers ago. 313 00:16:02,687 --> 00:16:04,655 - Gimme that phone. - Hey, hey, watch it, will ya? 314 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:06,951 - Hello. - Talk to them nice. They hang up. 315 00:16:07,058 --> 00:16:11,154 Look. I'm trying to locate a Korean named Cho-Duk Sing. 316 00:16:11,263 --> 00:16:13,823 He was drafted somewhere in the Ouijongbu area. 317 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:16,423 I don't know too many details. 318 00:16:16,535 --> 00:16:19,800 No, I don't know his service number. I don't even know mine. 319 00:16:19,905 --> 00:16:22,396 Hey! Hey! 320 00:16:22,507 --> 00:16:26,443 - He's transferring me back to "l" Corps. - Gimme that, son. 321 00:16:26,545 --> 00:16:30,072 Believe me, the louder you talk, the less they hear. 322 00:16:30,182 --> 00:16:33,583 You gotta slip on the old velvet glove if you wanna get any action. 323 00:16:33,685 --> 00:16:38,884 [Pleasant] Hello. To whom am I speaking? 324 00:16:38,990 --> 00:16:44,018 Captain, this is Colonel Sherman potter, 4077th MASH. 325 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:46,825 Seems we're having a teeny problem... 326 00:16:46,932 --> 00:16:49,526 Iocating a Korean soldier named Cho-Duk Sing. 327 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:52,296 He's an R.O.K. Draftee. 328 00:16:52,404 --> 00:16:54,395 Thank you. 329 00:16:54,506 --> 00:16:57,100 - Told you we'd get some action. - Where is he? 330 00:16:57,209 --> 00:16:59,677 Don't know yet, but we're making progress. 331 00:16:59,778 --> 00:17:02,246 They're transferring me to the R.O.K. Liaison. 332 00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:07,516 - Just three more, sir, and you're all better. - This is my bad hand. 333 00:17:07,619 --> 00:17:11,146 Doesn't matter. Nobody can read your signature anyway. 334 00:17:11,256 --> 00:17:13,281 Can't you push this thing any faster? 335 00:17:13,391 --> 00:17:16,224 Now don't forget, General, don't stab anybody with that hand... 336 00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:18,694 or grind anybody under that heel for at least a week. 337 00:17:18,797 --> 00:17:20,856 [Chuckles] The man's a pistol. 338 00:17:20,966 --> 00:17:22,866 - Could use a silencer. - Yes, sir. 339 00:17:22,968 --> 00:17:26,301 Oh, we're gonna miss your biting sense of humor, General, you big lug. 340 00:17:26,404 --> 00:17:28,497 I'll take over, Pierce. You've pushed him far enough. 341 00:17:28,607 --> 00:17:30,507 - Excuse me, General. - What is it now? 342 00:17:30,609 --> 00:17:32,509 - One more form for... - I don't care anymore. 343 00:17:32,611 --> 00:17:34,909 - Just let me sign it and get outta here. - [Bee Buzzing] 344 00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:37,208 - What's that? - A bee! Shoo! 345 00:17:37,315 --> 00:17:39,783 Hey, Blitzen, what are you doing out? 346 00:17:39,885 --> 00:17:41,978 Don't hit him! It's Blitzen! It's Blitzen! 347 00:17:42,087 --> 00:17:44,578 - [Yells] Friend! Friend! - Order him outta here! 348 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:47,715 Wait, hold on. Here, Blitzen. [Whistles] 349 00:17:47,826 --> 00:17:50,226 Here, Blitzen. Come on. I'm not gonna hurt... 350 00:17:50,328 --> 00:17:53,126 Hey, what are you doing? Hey, hey, get outta here, you lousy bee! 351 00:17:53,231 --> 00:17:57,497 Hey, get him outta here! Oh! Oh! I'm bit! I'm bit! 352 00:17:57,602 --> 00:17:59,661 They always go for the officers first. 353 00:17:59,771 --> 00:18:01,705 Blitzen, where are you? Speak to me! 354 00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:03,706 You're starting to swell. Are you allergic? 355 00:18:03,808 --> 00:18:06,675 I don't know. I've never been stung before. Oh, Lord, I'm hit! 356 00:18:06,778 --> 00:18:09,008 - Well, back into the shop. - [Whistling] 357 00:18:09,114 --> 00:18:11,674 [Gasps] 358 00:18:11,783 --> 00:18:13,751 Oh, Blitzen. 359 00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:18,584 Oh, gee, what a way to go. 360 00:18:18,690 --> 00:18:20,590 Feel it. It's as big as a peach pit. 361 00:18:20,692 --> 00:18:23,024 [Man On p.A.] Attention, all personnel, incoming wounded. 362 00:18:23,128 --> 00:18:25,961 - This is a big one. - See what you started? 363 00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:28,760 - [Distant Explosion] - [B.J.] Think they could turn that down? 364 00:18:28,867 --> 00:18:30,767 I don't know. I kinda like the rhythm. 365 00:18:30,869 --> 00:18:33,360 - [Explosion] - Night and day 366 00:18:33,471 --> 00:18:35,905 Why is it so Suction. 367 00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:40,910 That this longing for you follows wherever I go 368 00:18:41,012 --> 00:18:45,005 - In the roaring traffic's - [No Explosion] 369 00:18:45,116 --> 00:18:48,085 - In the roaring traffic's - [Boom] 370 00:18:48,186 --> 00:18:50,313 In the silence of my lonely room 371 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:53,357 I think of you Night and day 372 00:18:53,458 --> 00:18:56,018 - Cut it out, Hawk. - Well, this is a first. 373 00:18:56,127 --> 00:18:58,652 One of the Katzenjammer Kids doesn't want to play, hmm? 374 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:01,163 That shelling's coming awful close to the civilians out there. 375 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,131 We have plenty to worry about in here. 376 00:19:03,234 --> 00:19:06,203 - Amen. - Keep that intestine back, Margaret. 377 00:19:06,304 --> 00:19:08,898 I'm doing the best I can. You keep changing the field. 378 00:19:09,007 --> 00:19:11,339 - Just keep it back, Margaret. - Take it easy, Beej. 379 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,934 Kim's family got through the shelling before they ever met you. 380 00:19:14,045 --> 00:19:17,014 They probably stand a better chance for survival than his patient there. 381 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,106 Or you, if you don't keep your mouth shut. 382 00:19:19,217 --> 00:19:21,117 That's enough. Winchester, shut up. 383 00:19:21,219 --> 00:19:24,188 Hunnicutt, if you can't keep your mind on your work, you're no good to us here. 384 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:27,884 Did anyone happen to flip through this week's copy of Stars and Stripes? 385 00:19:27,993 --> 00:19:32,657 There was a very interesting article, comparing Korean kimchi and sauerkraut. 386 00:19:32,764 --> 00:19:35,562 Uh, sauerkraut lost. 387 00:19:36,835 --> 00:19:38,996 No, I don't suppose you did. 388 00:19:39,104 --> 00:19:41,902 I'm sorry I snapped at you, Margaret. 389 00:19:42,007 --> 00:19:43,907 They'll be all right. 390 00:19:44,009 --> 00:19:46,842 [Yawning] 391 00:19:49,447 --> 00:19:51,415 - Hey, Beej. - Hmm. 392 00:19:51,516 --> 00:19:53,677 - Your pants are on fire. - Mm. 393 00:19:53,785 --> 00:19:57,380 Mm. Look. You can't keep up this hut-hopping... 394 00:19:57,489 --> 00:20:01,653 between 14-hour shifts in O.R. 395 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,923 Let's face it. Their demand is bigger than your supply. 396 00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:08,966 Oh, you were right, Hawk. It never stops. 397 00:20:10,268 --> 00:20:13,465 They're cold, so I find them blankets. 398 00:20:13,571 --> 00:20:16,096 Then they're still cold 'cause they're sleeping on the floor. 399 00:20:16,207 --> 00:20:18,368 So I find 'em a bed. 400 00:20:18,476 --> 00:20:20,774 Then it rains on the bed, so I patch up the roof. 401 00:20:20,879 --> 00:20:24,337 Next it'll be a house, then a better neighborhood, then a safer country. 402 00:20:24,449 --> 00:20:26,917 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I gotta rest. 403 00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:31,682 Look, Beej. This is too much for one person, even you. 404 00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,654 - Captain Hunnicutt. Uh, sir, I found Cho-Duk. - Hmm. 405 00:20:34,759 --> 00:20:37,023 - You did? Where? - We've been looking in the wrong army. 406 00:20:37,128 --> 00:20:39,323 He's been attached to an American unit near Taegu. 407 00:20:39,431 --> 00:20:42,059 - That's great. - What great? Taegu's over 60 miles from here. 408 00:20:42,167 --> 00:20:45,000 No, that's all right. I had him transferred to a unit just south of here. 409 00:20:45,103 --> 00:20:47,003 - We're back to great. - How'd you do that? 410 00:20:47,105 --> 00:20:49,266 Well, as long as General Prescott was signing release forms... 411 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,467 I, uh, handed him a transfer blank. 412 00:20:51,576 --> 00:20:54,101 Radar, you're beautiful! Let me give you a kiss. 413 00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,407 - Hey, come on! Cut that out! Geez! - Oh, ho! 414 00:20:56,514 --> 00:20:58,414 You couldn't slip him my discharge papers? 415 00:20:58,516 --> 00:21:01,144 I can hardly wait to see the look on their faces when I show 'em this. 416 00:21:01,252 --> 00:21:03,152 I'll drive. You'd fall asleep at the wheel. 417 00:21:03,254 --> 00:21:05,586 Are you kidding? I could leap there in a single bound. 418 00:21:05,690 --> 00:21:08,682 I may not be able to give them everything, but I can give 'em this. 419 00:21:08,793 --> 00:21:10,693 - Here it is. This is it. - Where? 420 00:21:10,795 --> 00:21:12,786 - Right here. This is it! Stop! - Wait a minute. 421 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:17,334 - Wait till I stop, will ya? - Kim! Kim! Mama-san! 422 00:21:17,435 --> 00:21:19,335 He-Hey! 423 00:21:20,538 --> 00:21:23,166 [Birds Chirping] 424 00:21:24,576 --> 00:21:27,306 They're gone. 425 00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:29,846 The place is deserted. They took everything. 426 00:21:29,948 --> 00:21:33,577 - Including the neighbors. - Where'd they go? 427 00:21:33,685 --> 00:21:37,815 I guess to someplace safe from the shelling, like this used to be. 428 00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:41,949 - But I'll never find them. - Maybe they'll come back. 429 00:21:42,060 --> 00:21:44,551 [Chuckles] No, they won't. 430 00:21:44,662 --> 00:21:47,654 They'll just keep going south, away from the war. 431 00:21:49,234 --> 00:21:53,000 Oh, Hawk. They don't even know about Cho-Duk. 432 00:21:53,104 --> 00:21:56,005 They don't even know their son's alive! 433 00:21:56,107 --> 00:21:59,543 - That isn't fair. - [Plane passes Overhead] 434 00:21:59,644 --> 00:22:01,612 [Sighs] 435 00:22:03,381 --> 00:22:06,373 They take me away from my wife and kid, and I... 436 00:22:06,484 --> 00:22:10,318 find something to help fill the gap, and they take that away too. 437 00:22:10,421 --> 00:22:12,321 It isn't right. 438 00:22:16,227 --> 00:22:18,855 Damn it, it isn't right! 439 00:22:24,002 --> 00:22:26,095 [Sighs] Let's go. 440 00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:37,679 [Engine Starts] 441 00:22:39,551 --> 00:22:41,678 I wish I knew what to do, Hawk. 442 00:22:41,786 --> 00:22:44,277 I know what you'll do. Go home and have a lousy meal... 443 00:22:44,389 --> 00:22:47,222 a poor night's sleep and tomorrow you'll find somebody else to help. 444 00:22:47,325 --> 00:22:49,225 Are you crazy? You think I'd ever do that again? 445 00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:51,227 - I know you would. - You're right. 446 00:22:51,329 --> 00:22:53,763 - I always am. - Shut up and drive. 447 00:22:57,835 --> 00:23:00,099 Is the road clear? Are the bees in their cages? 448 00:23:00,205 --> 00:23:03,140 Bats in their belfry and all's right with the world. 449 00:23:03,241 --> 00:23:05,141 General, it's been a real pleasure. 450 00:23:05,243 --> 00:23:07,768 Save it. I never want to see any of you again. 451 00:23:07,879 --> 00:23:10,677 Oh, please, General, you've thanked us enough already. 452 00:23:14,385 --> 00:23:17,445 Better not return the salute. That cast will give you a concussion. 453 00:23:17,555 --> 00:23:20,854 - [Engine Starts] - Get outta here. I'll do it myself. 454 00:23:22,393 --> 00:23:25,624 [Chortles] Move out! 455 00:23:25,730 --> 00:23:27,857 Write if you get work. 456 00:23:31,569 --> 00:23:33,469 [Tire Explodes] 457 00:23:35,340 --> 00:23:37,240 - Keep movin'! - Sir, the tire. 458 00:23:37,342 --> 00:23:39,902 - Never mind that tire. Keep movin'.! - But, sir... 459 00:23:40,011 --> 00:23:41,979 Get me outta here! 460 00:23:45,250 --> 00:23:48,777 - There he goes, back into combat. - He'll be safer there.