1 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,904 [O.R. Chatter] 2 00:00:56,449 --> 00:00:59,247 Lori, take the temperature on that chest wound. 3 00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:01,252 [Chattering] 4 00:01:24,377 --> 00:01:27,107 This is just the beginning of autumn in Korea... 5 00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:30,046 and already there's a real chill in the air. 6 00:01:30,149 --> 00:01:34,210 Before winter even arrives, the temperature will dip below zero. 7 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:37,915 And all that after a summer of unbearable heat. 8 00:01:38,024 --> 00:01:40,219 If you were going to hold a war... 9 00:01:40,326 --> 00:01:45,195 this is probably the most brutal climate on Earth in which to do it. 10 00:01:45,298 --> 00:01:47,323 - Uh, Commanding Officer... - Commanding Officer... 11 00:01:47,433 --> 00:01:49,128 - Quartermaster Corps. - Quartermaster Corps. 12 00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:50,930 - Uh, Sir... - Sir. Seoul. 13 00:01:51,037 --> 00:01:54,097 - Seoul. Sir. - Seoul. Sir. 14 00:01:54,206 --> 00:01:56,231 I gratefully acknowledge the receipt... 15 00:01:56,342 --> 00:01:59,436 - of your latest shipment of supplies to our unit. - [Repeating] 16 00:01:59,545 --> 00:02:03,675 The mosquito netting and the summer underwear were very much appreciated. 17 00:02:03,783 --> 00:02:06,650 Oh, boy! I am wearing so many pair of cotton drawers... 18 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,743 my thighs don't know each other anymore. 19 00:02:08,854 --> 00:02:11,414 My thighs don't know each other anymore. 20 00:02:12,959 --> 00:02:15,086 Don't tell him about my thighs. 21 00:02:15,194 --> 00:02:17,822 - For... What's the matter with you? - I'm sorry. 22 00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:20,455 - Blow in my ear. - What? 23 00:02:20,566 --> 00:02:23,228 I'm so cold, I think my pilot's gone out. 24 00:02:23,336 --> 00:02:26,203 [Man On p.A.] Attention. Due to shortage of oil and wood... 25 00:02:26,305 --> 00:02:29,433 tonight's movie will be burned at 1800 hours. 26 00:02:29,542 --> 00:02:32,102 Where did you get that wood, soldier? 27 00:02:32,211 --> 00:02:34,338 My sister sent it to me, sir. 28 00:02:35,414 --> 00:02:37,314 Oh. 29 00:02:39,552 --> 00:02:43,386 You're 5 miles from the front, on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week... 30 00:02:43,489 --> 00:02:46,686 and the O.R. Sessions must be a source of great tension. 31 00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,192 - What do you do to relax? - "Relax"? 32 00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:51,195 You do get a chance to relax, don't you? 33 00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:53,492 Well, for relaxation, I collapse. 34 00:02:53,599 --> 00:02:56,466 And I like to stay in shape, so, uh... so I drink a lot. 35 00:02:56,569 --> 00:02:59,629 That's the... That's the really big sport here. 36 00:02:59,739 --> 00:03:04,676 Poker. I know that may sound very strange, but poker relaxes me. 37 00:03:04,777 --> 00:03:10,010 There's nothing more satisfying than shearing the flock, as it were. 38 00:03:10,116 --> 00:03:12,949 Of course, it all goes to the orphans. 39 00:03:13,052 --> 00:03:16,419 Well, almost all of it. 40 00:03:16,522 --> 00:03:19,787 Music is my sanctuary. Classical. 41 00:03:19,892 --> 00:03:25,057 It reminds me that there is still some grace and culture left in the world. 42 00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:28,861 Oh, in general, I'd say with a lot of horseplay... 43 00:03:28,968 --> 00:03:31,402 taking out your frustrations on other people. 44 00:03:31,504 --> 00:03:33,472 You know, good clean American fun. 45 00:03:33,572 --> 00:03:36,200 [Laughing] 46 00:03:37,977 --> 00:03:41,469 I'm sor... [Laughing Hysterically] 47 00:03:44,417 --> 00:03:47,113 [Both Laughing] 48 00:03:51,957 --> 00:03:56,621 - [Margaret Yelps] - [Laughing] 49 00:03:56,729 --> 00:03:59,960 Frank, I'm glad you got here. You wanna hear something really wild? 50 00:04:00,066 --> 00:04:02,034 Come here. 51 00:04:17,516 --> 00:04:19,484 [High-pitched Moan] 52 00:04:20,986 --> 00:04:23,284 I won't lie to you. L-I've... 53 00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:26,290 I've established some wonderful temporary relationships... 54 00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:29,020 with a lot of the nurses here. 55 00:04:31,130 --> 00:04:34,156 I like to think of myself as a social director of the heart. 56 00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:37,267 - Hawkeye? - Hmm? 57 00:04:37,369 --> 00:04:40,338 Um, tell me the truth. 58 00:04:40,439 --> 00:04:42,407 Do you respect me? 59 00:04:42,508 --> 00:04:44,408 Do I respect the flag? 60 00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:47,411 Apple pie? Hamburgers? 61 00:04:47,513 --> 00:04:49,413 The loyalty of a fine dog? 62 00:04:50,783 --> 00:04:52,751 That's all I wanted to know. 63 00:04:58,491 --> 00:05:00,391 What am I doing? What am I doing? 64 00:05:00,493 --> 00:05:03,758 - What am I doing? - Whatever it is, I approve. 65 00:05:03,863 --> 00:05:07,424 You're married, madam. You're a married madam. Why don't I go away? 66 00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:09,728 - I am not married. - You're not married? 67 00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:12,065 - Never have been. - Move over, Lieutenant. 68 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,037 Does every new nurse fall in love with you here? 69 00:05:17,143 --> 00:05:20,772 - No. Only the ones with taste. - [Giggles] 70 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,247 - Do you think I have any? - I don't know. Let me taste you. 71 00:05:24,350 --> 00:05:27,478 - [Gunshot] - [Explosion In Distance] 72 00:05:30,623 --> 00:05:33,854 - [Gunfire In Distance] - Hawkeye, that makes me crazy. 73 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,092 My lips were made by Stradivarius. 74 00:05:42,601 --> 00:05:44,501 Sickening. 75 00:05:44,603 --> 00:05:46,571 Animals. 76 00:05:48,607 --> 00:05:50,575 Animals. 77 00:05:52,912 --> 00:05:55,244 What do you do to relax around here? 78 00:05:55,347 --> 00:05:58,475 "Relax"? I don't dare. If I do, somebody'll think I like it here. 79 00:05:58,584 --> 00:06:01,451 Are you a guy or a hairy broad with a deep voice? 80 00:06:01,554 --> 00:06:04,352 I'm all man, Clyde. The clothes are a dodge. 81 00:06:04,456 --> 00:06:06,549 - A what? - If I keep wearin' women's clothes... 82 00:06:06,659 --> 00:06:08,627 maybe they'll give me a Section Eight and send me home. 83 00:06:08,727 --> 00:06:12,288 - Oh. How long you been at this? - Two years, April 22. 84 00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:17,428 Klinger, you've asked for my advice. 85 00:06:17,536 --> 00:06:21,302 [Inhales] Now, I realize how badly you want out of the army. 86 00:06:21,407 --> 00:06:23,102 Yes, sir. 87 00:06:23,209 --> 00:06:25,109 But it's, uh, my considered opinion... 88 00:06:25,211 --> 00:06:27,907 that no one's going to believe that you're pregnant. 89 00:06:33,786 --> 00:06:36,846 Colonel Potter, sir! Corporal Klinger. 90 00:06:36,956 --> 00:06:38,856 I'm Section Eight, head to toe. 91 00:06:38,958 --> 00:06:41,586 I'm wearing a Warner bra. I play with dolls. 92 00:06:41,694 --> 00:06:44,185 My last wish is to be buried in my mother's wedding gown. 93 00:06:44,296 --> 00:06:46,526 I'm nuts. I should be out. 94 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,527 Horse hockey. 95 00:06:51,437 --> 00:06:53,530 - Klinger! - Sir! 96 00:06:53,639 --> 00:06:56,039 How dare you wear that hat while in uniform! 97 00:06:56,141 --> 00:06:59,008 It's spring, sir! 98 00:07:00,412 --> 00:07:02,312 - Now what? - Caught this man walking into the stream... 99 00:07:02,414 --> 00:07:04,314 seven miles down the road, Colonel. 100 00:07:04,416 --> 00:07:06,316 I would've made it if they hadn't nailed me. 101 00:07:06,418 --> 00:07:08,852 Had it all figured... downstream to the Inchon River... 102 00:07:08,954 --> 00:07:11,889 then out to the Sea ofJapan and then to the Golden Gate! 103 00:07:11,991 --> 00:07:14,721 - You'd have drowned. - No chance, sir! 104 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,961 - [Air Hissing] - [Yelps] 105 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:22,124 [Yelling] Oh, boy! Watch out! 106 00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,794 Got this in mail call today, sir. 107 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,895 - What is it? - A letter from my mother, sir. 108 00:07:30,175 --> 00:07:33,906 - "Dear Son..." - You obviously haven't sent her a recent picture. 109 00:07:37,850 --> 00:07:40,148 "I hate to bother you in the middle of a war... 110 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,618 "but I have some terrible news. 111 00:07:42,721 --> 00:07:45,781 "Your father is very sick. 112 00:07:45,891 --> 00:07:49,554 - [Sighs] - "We know your colonel has a good heart... 113 00:07:49,662 --> 00:07:53,257 "and surely he'll let you come home for your father's funeral... 114 00:07:53,365 --> 00:07:55,856 or his 65th birthday, whichever comes first." 115 00:07:55,968 --> 00:07:57,993 Uh-huh. 116 00:07:59,772 --> 00:08:03,071 Here we go. Father dying, right? 117 00:08:03,175 --> 00:08:05,143 Yes, sir. [Sniffles] 118 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,240 Father dying last year. 119 00:08:11,583 --> 00:08:13,915 Mother dying last year. 120 00:08:16,021 --> 00:08:18,148 Mother and father dying. 121 00:08:20,793 --> 00:08:23,853 Mother, father and older sister dying. 122 00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,694 Mother dying and older sister pregnant. 123 00:08:29,401 --> 00:08:31,961 Here's an oldie but a goody. 124 00:08:32,071 --> 00:08:35,404 Half of the family dying, other half pregnant. 125 00:08:39,211 --> 00:08:41,645 Klinger, aren't you ashamed of yourself? 126 00:08:41,747 --> 00:08:43,647 Yes, sir. 127 00:08:43,749 --> 00:08:46,684 I don't deserve to be in the army. 128 00:08:46,785 --> 00:08:49,686 He's the only sane one here. It's the rest of us who are crazy. 129 00:08:49,788 --> 00:08:52,552 None of us wants to be here. I don't wanna be here. 130 00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:55,388 Radar doesn't wanna be here. The doctors, the nurses... 131 00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,485 certainly the wounded... don't wanna be here. 132 00:08:57,596 --> 00:08:59,564 But we've got to do our best. 133 00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,997 People who don't have a stomach for this don't belong here. 134 00:09:02,101 --> 00:09:03,534 You're right. Let's all go home. 135 00:09:03,635 --> 00:09:05,796 - [Chattering] - Colonel, I am requesting... 136 00:09:05,904 --> 00:09:09,533 that you officially and formally approve my transfer. 137 00:09:09,641 --> 00:09:13,202 Mother and Dad, I will put this as eloquently... 138 00:09:13,312 --> 00:09:17,408 and succinctly... as possible. 139 00:09:24,323 --> 00:09:27,724 Get me the hell out of here! 140 00:09:27,826 --> 00:09:31,853 - [Playing Piano: Up-tempo] - A chaplain in the army has a collar on his neck 141 00:09:31,964 --> 00:09:35,365 If you don't listen to him you'll all wind up in heck 142 00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:39,801 Oh, I don't want no more of army life 143 00:09:39,905 --> 00:09:43,466 Gee, Mom I wanna go home 144 00:09:43,575 --> 00:09:47,511 Oh, the surgeons in the army they say we're mighty bright 145 00:09:47,613 --> 00:09:51,014 We work on soldiers through the day and nurses through the night 146 00:09:51,116 --> 00:09:55,212 Oh, I don't want no more of army life 147 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:58,756 Gee, Mom I wanna go home 148 00:09:58,857 --> 00:10:02,486 Some guys like the army I think that it's a mess 149 00:10:02,594 --> 00:10:06,086 If it's so damn terrific how come I wear a dress 150 00:10:06,198 --> 00:10:10,726 Oh, I don't want no more of army life 151 00:10:10,836 --> 00:10:14,932 Gee, Mom, I wanna go but they won't let me go 152 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,567 Gee, Mom I wanna go home 153 00:10:18,677 --> 00:10:21,168 [All Cheering] 154 00:10:23,482 --> 00:10:26,349 [Announcer] More men and more equipment... 155 00:10:26,452 --> 00:10:28,352 continue to pour into war-torn Korea... 156 00:10:28,454 --> 00:10:30,183 a grim reminder that the conflict... 157 00:10:30,289 --> 00:10:33,315 now grinding into its third year, is far from over. 158 00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:36,952 Battle-weary foot soldiers trudge through the ravaged countryside... 159 00:10:37,062 --> 00:10:40,623 reluctant witnesses to the awesome devastation. 160 00:10:40,732 --> 00:10:45,726 How has being a part of all this... the war... changed you? 161 00:10:45,838 --> 00:10:48,136 I'm very impressed now with the... 162 00:10:50,509 --> 00:10:52,841 terrible fragility of the human body... 163 00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:55,675 and the, uh... 164 00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:58,716 the unbelievable resiliency of the human spirit. 165 00:10:58,817 --> 00:11:01,047 And it's made me... 166 00:11:02,387 --> 00:11:04,548 very, very angry. 167 00:11:04,656 --> 00:11:07,386 Well, it's allowed me to work fairly closely... 168 00:11:07,493 --> 00:11:13,090 without becoming contaminated... with people of vastly divergent points of view. 169 00:11:13,198 --> 00:11:15,792 I've learned more about myself and... 170 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:19,797 and how much I really care about people. 171 00:11:19,905 --> 00:11:22,203 Let's face it, Major. You don't trust us. 172 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,037 And do you trust me? You act like I'm the enemy. 173 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:28,442 All right. If I had asked your permission last night, what would you have done? 174 00:11:28,547 --> 00:11:30,845 - I would've said no. - See? 175 00:11:30,949 --> 00:11:34,851 Not because it's against regulations, but because of the rotten way you've treated me. 176 00:11:34,953 --> 00:11:37,979 The way we've treated you? What are you talking about? 177 00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:42,390 Did you ever show me any kind of friendship? 178 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,962 Ask my help with a personal problem? 179 00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:49,463 Include me in one of your little bull sessions? 180 00:11:50,869 --> 00:11:54,396 Can you imagine what it feels like to... 181 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:58,203 [Voice Breaking] to walk by this tent and... and hear you laughing and... 182 00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:01,074 and know l... I'm not welcome? 183 00:12:02,581 --> 00:12:06,347 Did you ever once ever offer me a lousy cup of coffee? 184 00:12:08,153 --> 00:12:10,747 We didn't think you'd accept. 185 00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:15,786 Well, you were wrong. 186 00:12:19,398 --> 00:12:22,265 L... I feel as old as I'm ever gonna get... 187 00:12:25,404 --> 00:12:27,964 older than I ever intended to be. 188 00:12:31,076 --> 00:12:34,876 And, um, I really can't wait to go home. 189 00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:38,711 When this is all over... when there's no more reason for you to be here... 190 00:12:38,817 --> 00:12:41,411 what memories will you take home with you? 191 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,420 That's easy. 192 00:12:43,522 --> 00:12:46,286 The face of every kid who's come through here. 193 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:50,293 But there must be other things you... you will recall. 194 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:54,661 I don't know. I don't think that you remember the bad stuff... 195 00:12:54,766 --> 00:12:57,667 uh, as much as you think you will. 196 00:12:57,769 --> 00:13:02,570 I think, uh... I think I'll never forget the day I go home. 197 00:13:02,674 --> 00:13:04,642 And, at the moment, I can't imagine it. 198 00:13:05,944 --> 00:13:09,846 No memories. I blot it out as it happens. 199 00:13:09,948 --> 00:13:12,542 The people here at MASH. 200 00:13:12,651 --> 00:13:14,551 They're like family. 201 00:13:14,653 --> 00:13:17,554 No. They are family. 202 00:13:19,124 --> 00:13:22,491 Yes, family. 203 00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:25,495 The little Korean children... 204 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,930 their smiles amidst all this despair. 205 00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:32,265 All the good times. That's what I'll remember. 206 00:13:32,371 --> 00:13:34,339 I think there were three. 207 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:38,899 What these young people have... their dedication... 208 00:13:39,011 --> 00:13:41,980 their devotion almost, their high spirits... 209 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,514 has rubbed off on me. 210 00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,914 I feel 10 years younger. 211 00:13:47,019 --> 00:13:48,919 I'm a better doctor... 212 00:13:49,021 --> 00:13:52,957 and, most important, I'm a better human being. 213 00:13:53,058 --> 00:13:56,289 And, uh, I don't have to remember that. 214 00:13:56,395 --> 00:13:58,363 It's part of me. 215 00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:01,599 One day. 216 00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:03,600 One very bad day. 217 00:14:03,702 --> 00:14:06,170 - Colonel? - Yo. 218 00:14:06,271 --> 00:14:08,262 Do you know what I found in this morning's mail? 219 00:14:08,373 --> 00:14:11,706 Now, that's a tough one. Hum a few bars, will you, Radar? 220 00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:13,801 [Chuckling] You're goin' home. 221 00:14:15,514 --> 00:14:19,041 - I'm goin' home? - You got all your points. They're discharging you. 222 00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:22,279 - Discharged? - To Tokyo, San Francisco, then home. 223 00:14:22,387 --> 00:14:25,879 I'm goin' home. I'm discharged. 224 00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,891 I'm goin'... I'm goin' home! 225 00:14:30,228 --> 00:14:33,959 [People Cheering, Applauding] 226 00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:41,130 - [Blows Whistle] - Company, ten-hut! 227 00:14:43,475 --> 00:14:45,773 Take it easy, will ya, Frank? 228 00:14:47,779 --> 00:14:50,339 And, uh, stuff that whistle someplace. 229 00:14:50,449 --> 00:14:53,247 Does the colonel wish to review his troops? 230 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:56,252 - No. I just wanna say good-bye. - Well, okay. 231 00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,927 So long, Hawk. 232 00:15:05,997 --> 00:15:08,693 I'm afraid just a handshake won't do it, Henry. 233 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,768 [Kiss, Kiss] 234 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:18,168 Henry, that... That suit is really you. 235 00:15:18,276 --> 00:15:20,608 [Hawkeye] If you're Adolphe Menjou. 236 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,473 Gwen. 237 00:15:27,786 --> 00:15:30,914 Klinger, that outfit might just get you that Section Eight. 238 00:15:31,022 --> 00:15:33,149 I made it just for this occasion, sir. 239 00:15:34,426 --> 00:15:36,451 Well, uh, so long, everybody. 240 00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:39,086 So long and, uh, good luck. 241 00:15:39,197 --> 00:15:41,097 - Henry. - Huh? 242 00:15:41,199 --> 00:15:44,464 [Whispering, Indistinct] 243 00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,799 - Oh, you think I should? - Why not? 244 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,873 Yeah, why not? 245 00:15:53,512 --> 00:15:56,345 [Cheering, Applauding] 246 00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:02,283 - [Blows Whistle] - [Bugle, Off-key] 247 00:16:02,387 --> 00:16:04,514 - [Chattering] - [Klinger] Whoo.! 248 00:16:04,623 --> 00:16:05,791 It's all yours, Frank. 249 00:16:05,791 --> 00:16:07,122 It's all yours, Frank. 250 00:16:12,230 --> 00:16:14,562 - [Hawkeye] So long, Henry. Good trip! - All right. 251 00:16:14,666 --> 00:16:16,634 Take it easy, pal. 252 00:16:30,715 --> 00:16:33,343 You behave yourself, or I'm gonna come back and kick your butt. 253 00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:35,544 Yes, sir. 254 00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:48,455 [Helicopter Lifting Off] 255 00:16:55,740 --> 00:16:58,971 [Helicopter Departing] 256 00:16:59,077 --> 00:17:01,045 [O.R. Chatter] 257 00:17:08,386 --> 00:17:10,286 [Trapper] Radar, put a mask on. 258 00:17:10,388 --> 00:17:12,879 If that's my discharge, give it to me straight. I can take it. 259 00:17:14,192 --> 00:17:16,160 I have a message. 260 00:17:17,963 --> 00:17:20,056 [Exhales] 261 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:23,794 - Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake's plane... - [O.R. Goes Silent] 262 00:17:23,902 --> 00:17:26,462 [Breathes Deeply] 263 00:17:26,571 --> 00:17:30,007 Was shot down... over the Sea ofJapan. 264 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:34,577 It spun in. 265 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,673 There were no survivors. 266 00:17:44,890 --> 00:17:47,825 - [Person Gasps] - [Doors Clatter] 267 00:17:47,926 --> 00:17:49,894 [Woman Sobs] 268 00:17:49,995 --> 00:17:52,054 [Sniffling] 269 00:17:59,604 --> 00:18:01,572 [Object Clatters To Floor] 270 00:18:11,516 --> 00:18:14,007 There's people here that suffer every day... 271 00:18:15,921 --> 00:18:18,321 and, uh... 272 00:18:18,423 --> 00:18:21,085 l... I don't really wanna talk about this. 273 00:18:21,192 --> 00:18:24,161 When the doctors... 274 00:18:24,262 --> 00:18:27,129 cut into a patient... 275 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:31,168 and it's cold, you know, the way it is now, today... 276 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:36,005 steam rises from the body. 277 00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,803 [Voice Trembling] And the doctor will... 278 00:18:43,014 --> 00:18:46,177 will warm himself over the open wound. 279 00:18:48,954 --> 00:18:52,754 [Exhales] Could anyone look on that and not feel changed? 280 00:18:56,127 --> 00:18:58,618 [Hawkeye's Voice] The wounded keep coming... and coming. 281 00:18:58,730 --> 00:19:02,131 The common denominator is blood. It's all red. 282 00:19:02,233 --> 00:19:04,201 And there's an awful lot of it leaking out around here. 283 00:19:05,403 --> 00:19:08,099 - [O.R. Chatter] - [Explosion] 284 00:19:08,206 --> 00:19:10,538 I just don't know why they're shooting at us. 285 00:19:10,642 --> 00:19:13,475 All we wanna do is bring them democracy and white bread. 286 00:19:13,578 --> 00:19:16,979 Transplant the American dream... freedom, achievement... 287 00:19:17,082 --> 00:19:19,516 hyperacidity, affluence, flatulence... 288 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,585 technology, tension... 289 00:19:21,686 --> 00:19:24,177 the inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk... 290 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:26,189 while plotting to stab your boss in the back. 291 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,986 That's entertainment. 292 00:19:28,093 --> 00:19:31,529 Hear you had to leave the O.R. This morning. 293 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,529 That's right. I did. 294 00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:36,930 - Somebody said you had to go outside and throw up. - That's right. 295 00:19:37,035 --> 00:19:40,732 - How come? - I've always wanted to barf on Ouijongbu... 296 00:19:40,839 --> 00:19:42,739 and I just thought the time was ripe. 297 00:19:42,841 --> 00:19:45,366 Wouldn't be anything else, would it? 298 00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:48,537 No, unless it was the fact that most of my blood came out of a scotch bottle. 299 00:19:50,181 --> 00:19:52,445 I wouldn't know about that. I'm not a doctor. 300 00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:55,075 But I am, so I'm not allowed to be human. Is that it? 301 00:19:55,186 --> 00:19:59,213 You walked out on a patient, and Major Winchester had to finish for you. 302 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:02,225 So? I'd have done the same for him if he was sick. 303 00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:06,195 Well, a lotta people don't look at it like you were sick, Hawkeye. 304 00:20:06,297 --> 00:20:08,857 A lotta people look up to you here. 305 00:20:08,967 --> 00:20:13,529 They admire you, and they kind of... feel like they wanna be like you. 306 00:20:13,638 --> 00:20:16,732 And... Gee, when you walk out on an operation... 307 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,809 they kinda feel like you let 'em down. 308 00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:22,402 If they can't depend on you, they figure, well... 309 00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:25,347 maybe there's no point in depending on anything. 310 00:20:26,985 --> 00:20:29,852 Look, you can't lay all that on my shoulders. 311 00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:35,082 - Don't you know how much this place stinks? - [Murmurs] 312 00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:38,560 Don't you know what it's like to stand day after day in blood? 313 00:20:38,663 --> 00:20:40,824 - [Exhales] - In the blood of children? 314 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,769 I hate this place. 315 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,839 And if I can't stand up to it to your satisfaction... 316 00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:50,908 then... then the hell with it. 317 00:20:52,077 --> 00:20:54,375 How dare you! 318 00:20:54,479 --> 00:20:57,880 The hell with your Iowa naiveté. The hell with your hero worship and your teddy bear. 319 00:20:57,982 --> 00:20:59,950 And while you're at it, the hell with you! 320 00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,849 Why don't you grow up, for cryin'out loud.! 321 00:21:02,954 --> 00:21:04,854 I'm not here for you to admire. 322 00:21:04,956 --> 00:21:07,186 I'm here to pull bodies out of a sausage grinder... 323 00:21:07,292 --> 00:21:09,954 if possible, without going crazy, period! 324 00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:12,495 - [Helicopters Whirring] - Wounded. 325 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:18,058 - Klinger says, "A lot." - I don't care. 326 00:21:18,169 --> 00:21:20,865 I really don't. 327 00:21:20,972 --> 00:21:23,440 They'll keep coming whether I'm here or not. 328 00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:26,710 Trapper went home. They're still coming. 329 00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:31,171 Henry got killed, and they're still coming. 330 00:21:33,852 --> 00:21:35,752 Wherever they come from, they'll never run out. 331 00:21:35,854 --> 00:21:39,085 - You serious? - Dead serious. 332 00:21:42,494 --> 00:21:46,828 I've watched guys die almost every day. Why didn't I ever cry for them? 333 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,525 Because you're a doctor. 334 00:21:49,634 --> 00:21:51,602 What the hell does that mean? 335 00:21:51,703 --> 00:21:54,604 I don't know. 336 00:21:54,706 --> 00:21:57,197 If I had the answer, I'd be at the Mayo Clinic. 337 00:21:57,308 --> 00:22:00,106 Does this place look like the Mayo Clinic? 338 00:22:00,211 --> 00:22:03,180 Look, all I know is what they taught me at command school. 339 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:05,772 There are certain rules about a war... 340 00:22:05,884 --> 00:22:08,444 and rule number one is young men die. 341 00:22:08,553 --> 00:22:10,453 And rule number two is... 342 00:22:10,555 --> 00:22:12,648 doctors can't change rule number one. 343 00:22:14,659 --> 00:22:17,890 There's no way to summarize what you've just seen and heard... 344 00:22:17,996 --> 00:22:19,896 save to say that, God willing... 345 00:22:19,998 --> 00:22:23,798 all these exceptional people will be going home one day. 346 00:22:23,902 --> 00:22:26,370 Let us hope that neither they nor any others... 347 00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:30,066 will ever have to assemble for such a purpose again. 348 00:22:30,175 --> 00:22:31,509 Good night. 349 00:22:31,509 --> 00:22:32,066 Good night.