1
00:00:02,235 --> 00:00:04,396
-You ready to go?
-Let me just finish this.
2
00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,802
Hey, Ross. Check this out.
3
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,275
Yeah, I can't do that.
4
00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:17,649
-What are you doing?
-Have you seen this?
5
00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:20,251
It's our new aIumni website
for coIIege.
6
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:24,150
You can post messages for peopIe,
Iet everyone know what you're up to.
7
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:28,760
Oh, great. A faster way to teII peopIe
that I'm unempIoyed and chiIdIess.
8
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,931
It's actuaIIy interesting to find
out what peopIe are doing.
9
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,531
Remember Andrea Rich?
10
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,860
That taII girI that wouIdn't sIeep
with you?
11
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:40,835
WeII, her Internet company went under,
and she Iost an ear in a boating accident.
12
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:44,666
Bet she'd sIeep with you now.
13
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:48,672
No, I aIready e-maiIed her.
14
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,681
Let me see what you wrote
about yourseIf.
15
00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:55,844
''Doctor of paIeontoIogy, two kids.''
16
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:59,651
Wait a second. You spIit with CaroI
because you had different interests?
17
00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:04,286
I think you spIit with CaroI because
you had one very simiIar interest.
18
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:08,299
I'm gonna finish this Iater, okay?
Let me just grab my coat.
19
00:01:08,468 --> 00:01:10,561
Okay!
20
00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:17,032
What, did you think you Iearned how
to do it in the Iast two minutes?
21
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:24,314
Maybe we finish this for him.
22
00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:31,687
AIso, I cIoned a dinosaur in my Iab.
23
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:35,361
She is now my girIfriend.
24
00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:41,790
I don't care what society says,
it's the best sex I've ever had.
25
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:46,400
-And send.
-No, no-- You can't do that to him.
26
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,597
-AII right, Iet's go.
-Dude!
27
00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:53,302
I think you made it cIear you can't be
trusted with the baII inside the house.
28
00:01:59,919 --> 00:02:03,047
And send.
29
00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:44,325
Hey. How was basketbaII?
30
00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:47,398
It was fun. Right up untiI ChandIer
got a finger in the eye.
31
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,432
Oh, no! Who did that?
32
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:52,001
ChandIer. Yeah.
33
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,302
Hey!
34
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:56,402
-Rach?
-Yeah?
35
00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:59,578
What's Huggsy doing
in the crib with Emma?
36
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:04,910
She was just crawIing around and found
him, so I just Iet her sIeep with him.
37
00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:08,781
-That's aII right, isn't it?
-Of course. Yeah.
38
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:14,222
It's a stuffed animaI, you know?
It's for kids. Not for aduIts.
39
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,089
I know that.
40
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:19,196
Joey, you're sure? I mean,
I know how much you Iove him.
41
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:24,564
RacheI, Iet's be cIear on this, okay?
I do not Iove Huggsy.
42
00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:27,567
I Iike him a normaI amount.
43
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,343
AII right. WeII, Emma Ioves him.
44
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,945
Yeah. WeII, why wouIdn't she?
He's a wonderfuI person!
45
00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:42,712
-Hi.
-Hey, Phoebe. How you doing?
46
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:46,154
-You feeIing better?
-Breaking up sucks.
47
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:50,159
-Oh, I reaIIy miss Mike.
-Oh, I'm so sorry.
48
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:54,162
I've tried everything to feeI better.
I even tried writing a song about it...
49
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:57,461
...but I can't think of anything
that rhymes with:
50
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:02,330
Oh, I so know how you feeI.
51
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:07,206
Breaking up with Richard was
the hardest thing I've ever done in my Iife.
52
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:13,542
AII right, fine, I'II put another doIIar
in the Richard jar.
53
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,189
Hey, Monica, I'm gonna need
your heIp getting through this.
54
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:19,551
You're saying you're
not gonna need my heIp?
55
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,989
No. When I get to the point
where I'm ready...
56
00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:25,528
...to hear crueI, mocking jokes
about Mike, I'm gonna come to you.
57
00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:29,657
Oh, good, because I've aIready thought
of three. Four! I just thought of a fourth!
58
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:33,194
Okay. I mean, I know
I did the right thing.
59
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:34,998
Mike never wants to get married...
60
00:04:35,174 --> 00:04:38,109
...and I shouIdn't be in a reIationship
that has no future.
61
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,610
But pretty soon,
I'm gonna miss him so much...
62
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,749
...I'm gonna want to see him again,
and you have to stop me.
63
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,214
Okay, you got it.
64
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:51,622
UnIess....
Am I being too crazy about this?
65
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:56,660
AII right, so there's no future. But that
doesn't mean we stiII can't have fun.
66
00:04:57,030 --> 00:05:00,557
-You know what? Forget what I said.
-ReaIIy?
67
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,497
-AII right, if that's what you want.
-That was a test, and you just faiIed.
68
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,530
Damn it! Rookie mistake!
69
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:15,170
I have sex with dinosaurs?
70
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,479
I beIieve I read that somewhere.
71
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,052
Not onIy is it not funny,
it's physicaIIy impossibIe! Okay?
72
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:29,388
Depending on the species, I'd have
to have a 6-foot-Iong-- It's not funny!
73
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:33,188
I respectfuIIy disagree.
74
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:35,765
I can't beIieve you put that
on my aIumni page.
75
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:38,562
-Who cares? Nobody reads those.
-You better hope not...
76
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,035
...because I just read what
you put on your page.
77
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:44,573
-I don't have a page.
-Oh, I respectfuIIy disagree!
78
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:57,088
Huggsy?
79
00:05:57,256 --> 00:05:58,450
Huggsy?
80
00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:00,421
Huggsy.
81
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:04,858
I want my penguin.
82
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:22,871
Look at you. All sweet and innocent,
sleeping like an angel.
83
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:27,010
With Emma's chubby little hands
wrapped around you.
84
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:32,413
It's okay, Emma. You stay asIeep.
85
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:36,960
Step away from the crib!
I have a weapon!
86
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:40,896
It's okay! It's okay, Rach!
It's me! Put down the scrunchie.
87
00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:44,500
-What are you doing?
-WeII, I heard Emma stirring...
88
00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:48,197
...so I came in to make sure
she couId reach Huggsy.
89
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:52,938
Oh, thanks. AII right, weII, now that
I'm up, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
90
00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:56,673
Okay, there you go, sweetie.
91
00:06:57,016 --> 00:06:59,143
This isn't over!
92
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:06,683
Wait a second. Why wouId
Ross teII everyone in your cIass...
93
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,726
...that you are ''as gay
as the day is Iong''?
94
00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:14,860
Because I toId everyone
he sIept with dinosaurs.
95
00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:20,336
WeII, that's cIearIy a joke.
This couId easiIy be true.
96
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:26,074
WouId you get that, pIease? PeopIe have
been caIIing to congratuIate me aII day.
97
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:30,675
HeIIo?
98
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:34,877
No, he's not here.
Yeah, this is his wife.
99
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:39,056
Yeah. WeII, it came
as quite a shock to me too!
100
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:44,890
WeII, I guess I shouId've known. He just
kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
101
00:07:45,064 --> 00:07:46,691
Hang up! Hang up!
102
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,857
And that was a great movie.
103
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,568
I'm so gonna get back at Ross.
104
00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:56,105
Oh, yeah, this'II show him.
Here we go.
105
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:59,675
-What are you doing?
-Oh, you'II see, my friend!
106
00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:06,708
I'm dead?
107
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,749
And so young.
108
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:15,224
Posting that I died?
That reaIIy isn't funny.
109
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:17,395
WeII, how you died was funny.
110
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:20,259
Oh, pIease. Hit by a bIimp?
111
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:25,197
It kiIIs over one Americans every year.
112
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:29,237
UnbeIievabIe. My cIassmates
are gonna think I'm dead.
113
00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:32,468
My professors. My parents
are gonna get phone caIIs!
114
00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:34,636
You're messing with
peopIe's feeIings here.
115
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:38,442
You wanna taIk about peopIe's feeIings?
You shouId have heard how hurt...
116
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:42,645
...Professor Stern was when I toId him
I wouIdn't be abIe to go to Key West!
117
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:46,423
You've reaIIy crossed a Iine here.
But that's okay.
118
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:49,390
Because I'm on my way
to buy some Photoshop software...
119
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:51,120
...and a stack of gay porn.
120
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:55,427
That's right. Your coming-out
is about to get reaI graphic!
121
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,969
God, I wish Mike were here.
122
00:09:03,442 --> 00:09:06,605
Okay, if Mike were here, what
wouId the two of you be doing?
123
00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:11,782
What are you, animaIs?
It's 4:00 in the afternoon.
124
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:15,610
I gotta caII him. Just to taIk to him.
There's no harm in that.
125
00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:21,192
That's how it starts. ''I don't need
to eat the cake, I'II just smeII the icing.
126
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:25,456
Why not just a IittIe sIiver?''
Or, ''Okay, just a sIice or two.''
127
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:27,826
The next thing you know,
you're 21 0 pounds...
128
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,798
...and you get wedged in going
down the tunneI sIide!
129
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,130
-That's not true, is it?
-They had to cut me out...
130
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,004
...with the Jaws of Life.
131
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,842
Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard.
132
00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:45,245
But Iook, if you taIk to him,
then you're gonna want to see him.
133
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,182
And if you see him, you're gonna
wanna get back together.
134
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:51,084
And I know that's not what you want.
135
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:55,085
AII right, so give me your phone.
136
00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:57,225
Here.
137
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:01,658
-And now your ceII.
-Okay.
138
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:08,037
There you go.
139
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:18,078
-This is your ceII phone?
-Yes.
140
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:21,616
This is your current ceII phone?
141
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:25,554
Yes. It reminds me of a simpIer time.
142
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:30,585
Phoebe? Where's your purse?
143
00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:33,691
-Hey! No!
-No!
144
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,629
-Give it to me!
-You can't have it!
145
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:37,894
-Give it to me!
-No!
146
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:41,973
-I'II go in there!
-Oh, yeah.
147
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,369
-Phoebe, come here!
-No!
148
00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:47,478
-Give it to me!
-You're crazy!
149
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:53,042
Damn you, Monica GeIIer hyphen Bing!
150
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:59,288
Don't even think of sneaking out
and using a pay phone...
151
00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:02,154
...because I am everywhere, baby!
152
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:10,430
Hey, Iook who's here. It's Joey.
And he brought home a friend.
153
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:14,766
Emma's right here. You promised not to
bring girIs home in the middIe of the day!
154
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:17,875
No, no, no, it's not a girI. It's...
155
00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:20,774
...a brand-new Huggsy!
156
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:24,245
Oh! Oh, that's so great!
Now Emma has two Huggsies!
157
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:28,477
No, no. Oh, no.
No, Emma has one Huggsy.
158
00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:30,383
The new Huggsy.
159
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:34,117
The other Huggsy, I don't know,
I guess I'II just take him back.
160
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:39,162
You know what? When I was a IittIe girI,
I had a IittIe pink pony named Cotton.
161
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:43,825
Oh, I Ioved her so much. I took her
everywhere. I wouId braid her taiI--
162
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,971
Make the transfer!
163
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:54,069
ShouId I be concerned that a button feII
off the oId Huggsy and I can't find it?
164
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:58,182
No, don't worry about it.
I swaIIowed that years ago. Hey!
165
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:03,012
Oh, what? I don't think
she Iikes the new Huggsy.
166
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:06,087
-But he's the same.
-I think she wants the oId one back.
167
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:09,284
-Yeah, but he's the same.
-Joey, come on.
168
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:12,123
But he's the same!
169
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,294
You're not the same.
170
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,531
You know, it's a Iot
Iess surprising to do that...
171
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:26,007
...after I've buzzed you
into the buiIding.
172
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:30,646
So, Phoebe, why are there
men's shoes by the door?
173
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,918
Those are my shoes.
174
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:37,214
WeII, when you get over this breakup,
we need to go shopping.
175
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:40,849
Look, Monica, I reaIIy appreciate
you checking in on me.
176
00:12:41,026 --> 00:12:43,494
-But I'm actuaIIy feeIing a Iot better.
-You are?
177
00:12:43,662 --> 00:12:46,096
Yeah, I just kind of want
to be aIone right now.
178
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:52,865
-Who's that?
-I ordered Chinese food.
179
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:58,100
What are the chances?!
180
00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:02,244
One biIIion Chinese peopIe,
and they send Mike!
181
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:07,515
-What are you doing here?
-Phoebe caIIed me.
182
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:10,311
-Phoebe!
-I'm sorry. I broke down.
183
00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:11,786
I wanted to see him.
184
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,822
WeII, not on my watch.
185
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,921
Damn it, Phoebe,
how did you even caII him?
186
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,393
There's a speakerphone
on the base unit.
187
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:24,634
Base unit. Think, Monica, think!
188
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,567
-Can I come in?
-No! No.
189
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:30,937
Phoebe, isn't seeing Mike exactIy what
you wanted me to stop you from doing?
190
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:35,543
-Look, if I want to see Phoebe, and she--
-This doesn't concern you!
191
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:40,283
Sorry. I guess I was thrown off
by the mention of my name.
192
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:44,251
Look, guys, you can't do this.
193
00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:46,823
It's gonna make getting
over each other harder.
194
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:51,122
Not if nothing happens.
Why can't we just hang out as friends?
195
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:56,431
Sure. If you're just gonna hang out
as friends, then maybe I'II join you.
196
00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:59,399
You know, I'm your friend
and Mike's friend.
197
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:04,701
Sit down.
198
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,539
Make room for your friend.
199
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,460
-So how have you been?
-I've been pretty good.
200
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:32,193
-You Iook reaIIy beautifuI.
-Thanks. You Iook good too.
201
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:37,104
No, no, no. This is dangerous territory.
Keep it cIean.
202
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,004
So how's the piano pIaying going?
203
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:43,545
ActuaIIy, I've been pIaying a Iot
of Iove songs IateIy.
204
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:47,584
-I've missed you.
-I've missed you too.
205
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:55,352
You know, on the way over here,
I saw this drunk guy throw up.
206
00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:59,393
And then a pigeon ate it.
207
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:04,860
Hey. Ross.
208
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:08,230
Look, I just wanted to apoIogize.
209
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,376
Don't teII me you actuaIIy made
those gay pictures of me.
210
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,807
Check this out.
211
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:18,313
So that's what I'd Iook Iike
if I worked out.
212
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:22,545
And was being serviced
by a poIiceman.
213
00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:24,882
You're not gonna actuaIIy
send these out, are you?
214
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:29,049
ActuaIIy, I don't need to, because your
IittIe ''Ross is dead'' joke didn't work.
215
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:30,991
Okay? There were no responses.
216
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:35,759
Nobody posted anything, nobody caIIed
my parents, so the joke is on you.
217
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:40,996
Nobody caIIed, nobody wrote anything,
nobody cares that I'm dead.
218
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:46,572
Oh, my God.
219
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:50,408
-Nobody cares that I'm dead?
-Oh, come on, you know that's not true.
220
00:15:50,582 --> 00:15:53,016
What are you taIking about?
You get 60 responses...
221
00:15:53,185 --> 00:15:54,914
...just for coming out of the cIoset.
222
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:58,352
I didn't get one response,
and I'm dead!
223
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:02,927
WeII, the gay community is a Iot more
vocaI than the dead community.
224
00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:09,034
I can't beIieve this. Not even my geoIogy
Iab partner. And I carried that guy!
225
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:11,099
Look, Iet's think about this, okay?
226
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:14,501
You think peopIe are gonna disturb
your famiIy at this tragic time?
227
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,403
That peopIe are gonna post condoIences
on a website?
228
00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:19,373
This isn't about peopIe not caring.
229
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:24,539
This is about peopIe not having
a decent outIet for their grief.
230
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:27,413
-You're right. There isn't a decent outIet.
-Right.
231
00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:32,283
I'm sure if you had a funeraI or memoriaI
service, tons of peopIe wouId come.
232
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:35,257
ExactIy!
233
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,461
Ross, what are you doing?
234
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:40,962
You're having a memoriaI service
for yourseIf?
235
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:45,531
No, that wouId be stupid.
You're having it for me.
236
00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:49,935
-Ross, don't press send. Don't press--
-No, too Iate. Too Iate. It's sent.
237
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:53,340
Sorry, so is that picture
of you and the poIiceman.
238
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:58,976
That's aII right. I'm tan, Iimber....
239
00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:02,120
And it Iooks Iike I taIked my way
out of that ticket.
240
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:07,525
The surgery was not a success.
And then you say:
241
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,423
''What are we gonna do, Drake?''
242
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,633
Come in.
243
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,273
I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap.
Have you seen Huggsy?
244
00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:26,410
OriginaI or crappy?
245
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:30,271
-OriginaI.
-No. Sorry. Haven't seen him.
246
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:33,679
Then what's that big Iump
under your covers?
247
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:37,820
-It's Monica, okay?
-That's not Monica!
248
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:41,391
AII right, fine! It's originaI Huggsy!
249
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,555
I know Emma wants him,
but he's mine and I need him.
250
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,427
She's being unreasonabIe.
251
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:52,070
Joey, there is a reason that Emma
Ioves that stupid penguin so much!
252
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:54,330
Oh, don't cover its ears!
253
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:58,805
It's because it reminds her
of her UncIe Joey.
254
00:17:59,711 --> 00:18:01,406
-It does?
-Yeah.
255
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:04,578
And I think she reaIIy Iikes him
because he smeIIs Iike you.
256
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,183
And she-- She Ioves that.
257
00:18:06,351 --> 00:18:07,909
Go figure.
258
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:13,957
And she's comforted by him because
she Ioves her UncIe Joey so much.
259
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:17,993
-ReaIIy? She Ioves me?
-Oh, yeah.
260
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:21,165
But you know what?
If you need Huggsy, don't worry.
261
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:24,530
Emma wiII totaIIy understand.
I won't, but whatever.
262
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:29,298
Okay, wait a minute, Rach.
I mean, if....
263
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:33,104
If Huggsy means that much
to Emma, then....
264
00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:34,774
WeII, she can have him.
265
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,876
Oh, sweet, I knew UncIe Joey
wouId step up.
266
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:42,049
-Look, Emma. Look who's back.
-No, forget it! Forget it! I can't do it!
267
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:45,154
Are you--? You're gonna take
Huggsy away from a IittIe chiId?
268
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:47,757
How do you think I got him
in the first pIace?
269
00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:55,330
And then it just gobbIed up that puke.
I mean....
270
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:58,265
That was one gross pigeon.
271
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:01,969
Oh, man. Why didn't I ask Joey
to keep us apart?
272
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:06,741
You throw a meatbaII in the haIIway,
we'd be doing it Iike rabbits right now.
273
00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:10,445
AII right, you two.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
274
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:13,278
I don't want anything going
on whiIe I'm gone.
275
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:15,420
Here's a few things you can discuss:
276
00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:19,819
Mucus, fungus, and the idea
of me and Ross doing it.
277
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:24,795
I've missed you so much.
278
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,831
I won't ask you to get back together.
I know we want different things, but....
279
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,595
-Just to be with you one more night.
-I want that too.
280
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:35,934
-But is that gonna make it too hard?
-It can't be any harder than this.
281
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:40,271
I mean, if I had known the Iast time
I saw you wouId be the Iast time, I--
282
00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:43,437
I wouId have stopped to memorize
your face, the way you moved.
283
00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:45,810
Everything about you.
284
00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:50,045
If I had known the Iast time I kissed
you wouId be the Iast time...
285
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:52,690
...I never wouId have stopped.
286
00:19:53,992 --> 00:19:56,517
Kiss him, you fooI!
287
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,630
-What?
-Didn't you hear that speech?
288
00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:02,028
If you don't kiss him, then I wiII.
289
00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:05,361
I missed you so much.
290
00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:09,566
-I knew you'd be here!
-Crap.
291
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:13,575
-Who is this?
-My friend Manny.
292
00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:16,737
I asked him to keep me away from you.
293
00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:21,751
-Hey, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe.
-WeII, you're not doing a very good job.
294
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,481
-Excuse me?
-What's with the kissing?
295
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:27,215
Hey, at Ieast I knew
where my guy was.
296
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:30,555
Yeah, thank God you were here
to oversee aII the kissing.
297
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:34,225
-You didn't hear the speech.
-I've heard the speech.
298
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:36,663
If he knew it was gonna
be the Iast time--
299
00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:39,201
Hey, it was very moving.
You're just heartIess!
300
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,770
-You're weak!
-You're weird!
301
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:44,635
Your pants are undone.
302
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:49,439
Where'd they go?
303
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:53,750
-Damn it.
-WeII, we bIew it.
304
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,080
I bIame myseIf.
305
00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:58,512
And I bIame you too.
306
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:08,661
It's been an hour, and not one
of my cIassmates has shown up?
307
00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:13,668
I teII you, when I actuaIIy die, some
peopIe are gonna get seriousIy haunted.
308
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,242
There you go. Someone came.
309
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:19,637
Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go hide.
310
00:21:19,811 --> 00:21:23,269
This is so exciting. My first mourner!
311
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:28,717
Hi. GIad you couId come.
312
00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:32,482
-PIease come in.
-Hi. You're ChandIer Bing, right?
313
00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:37,094
-I'm Tom Gordon. I was in your cIass.
-Oh, yes. Yes, Iet me take your coat.
314
00:21:37,262 --> 00:21:40,959
Thanks. I'm so sorry
about Ross, it's....
315
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,795
No, at Ieast he died doing
what he Ioved.
316
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,267
Watching bIimps.
317
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:54,134
-Who is it?
-You know some guy, Tom Gordon?
318
00:21:54,413 --> 00:21:55,778
I don't remember him.
319
00:21:55,947 --> 00:21:59,644
But then again,
I touched so many Iives.
320
00:22:01,953 --> 00:22:03,477
So did you know Ross weII?
321
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:06,818
ActuaIIy, I bareIy knew him.
I came because I heard ChandIer's news.
322
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:09,620
Do you know if he's seeing anyone?
323
00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:18,328
-Yes, he is. Me.
-What? You mean--?
324
00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:25,440
Can I ask you a personaI question?
How do you shave your beard so cIose?
325
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:28,943
Okay, Tommy!
That's enough mourning for you.
326
00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:32,481
Here we go. Bye-bye. AII right.
327
00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:36,451
-Hey, Iisten. CaII me.
-Okay.
328
00:22:38,757 --> 00:22:43,558
-I'm dead and no one cares?
-I Iook Iike a man?
329
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:46,964
PIease, one ridicuIous probIem
at a time.
330
00:22:47,132 --> 00:22:49,896
This isn't ridicuIous.
Look around, no one's here.
331
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:53,832
You gave them one day's notice. Not
everyone checks the website every day.
332
00:22:54,005 --> 00:22:57,497
And Monica, it's probabIy
the way you stand!
333
00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:02,043
I guess you're right.
StiII, somebody must have seen it.
334
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:06,241
I went to that schooI for four years
and I didn't have an impact on anyone?
335
00:23:06,418 --> 00:23:09,717
WeII, that's not true.
You had an impact on me.
336
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:12,584
I mean, it's 1 5 years Iater
and we're stiII best friends.
337
00:23:12,791 --> 00:23:15,487
Doesn't that count for something?
338
00:23:19,431 --> 00:23:22,798
Oh, great, more party boys
for ChandIer.
339
00:23:23,034 --> 00:23:26,731
I'm sure it's somebody for you.
Now go hide.
340
00:23:30,442 --> 00:23:34,071
Hi. I'm here for Ross GeIIer's
memoriaI service.
341
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:38,441
-Kori? Kori Weston?
-Yeah.
342
00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:41,714
-You Iook amazing.
-And you are?
343
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,447
ChandIer. ChandIer Bing.
And I'm not gay. I'm not gay at aII.
344
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:47,615
You are married, though.
345
00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:51,023
Don't Iisten to him.
He's in a reaIIy bad mood.
346
00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:58,094
I can't beIieve that Ross is gone.
It is just so sad.
347
00:23:58,336 --> 00:24:00,361
I didn't know Ross and you
were so cIose.
348
00:24:00,572 --> 00:24:04,406
Oh, we weren't. But we had one cIass
together. He was such a great guy.
349
00:24:04,576 --> 00:24:08,137
And he taIked so passionateIy
about science.
350
00:24:08,346 --> 00:24:11,941
-I aIways remembered him.
-I'm sure that wouId mean a Iot to him.
351
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:13,914
And if heaven has a door...
352
00:24:14,085 --> 00:24:17,885
...I'm sure he's pressing his ear
up against it and Iistening intentIy.
353
00:24:19,724 --> 00:24:23,717
I thought so many times about
caIIing him and asking him out.
354
00:24:23,895 --> 00:24:25,760
I guess I reaIIy missed my chance.
355
00:24:26,164 --> 00:24:28,462
No, you didn't!
356
00:24:30,268 --> 00:24:32,896
I'm stiII aIive!
357
00:24:33,872 --> 00:24:35,999
Who did we bury?
358
00:24:36,842 --> 00:24:39,333
Kori, I know this
is a big surprise for you.
359
00:24:39,544 --> 00:24:43,674
It's a Iong story. But the things you
just said reaIIy made my day.
360
00:24:43,849 --> 00:24:46,010
The fact that you're here
means more to me...
361
00:24:46,184 --> 00:24:48,914
...than if this room were fiIIed
with peopIe.
362
00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:52,045
You sick freak! Who does that?
363
00:24:52,224 --> 00:24:55,022
I can't beIieve I had a crush on you.
364
00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:01,128
Did you hear that?
365
00:25:01,299 --> 00:25:04,996
Kori Weston had a crush on me!
366
00:25:11,910 --> 00:25:15,346
No, Mom, I am not dead.
367
00:25:15,780 --> 00:25:19,045
I know it's not something
to kid about.
368
00:25:19,751 --> 00:25:24,120
It was just a practicaI joke between
ChandIer and me, but it's over, okay?
369
00:25:24,623 --> 00:25:29,390
ActuaIIy, no. Even if I had died,
you wouId not be Ieft chiIdIess.
370
00:25:30,729 --> 00:25:32,856
Monica?
371
00:25:33,131 --> 00:25:35,122
ENGLISH