1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,994
-Morning, roomie.
-Hey!

2
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:09,073
You remembered
to put cIothes on this morning.

3
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,733
Fifth day's a charm.

4
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:17,281
It's so great to be back here. You're
making it so easy on me and Emma.

5
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,419
It's great having you back.
Stay as Iong as you want.

6
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:24,421
And when does she stop
crying aII night?

7
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:30,059
Hey! You're not naked.

8
00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,731
Rach, when wiII we expect
to see you tonight?

9
00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:36,767
ProbabIy around 6. But she's
in the bedroom, aII ready to go.

10
00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:38,733
But she feII back to sIeep, so....

11
00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:43,034
She's probabIy exhausted from aII that
adorabIe screaming she did Iast night.

12
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,673
-Bye.
-Bye.

13
00:00:45,278 --> 00:00:48,076
Hey, I hope Emma isn't
making it too hard on you.

14
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,409
No, hey, it's been great.

15
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:53,450
I just want you to know that
with RacheI staying here...

16
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,817
...aII my feeIings from before
are totaIIy over.

17
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,321
And even if they weren't...

18
00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:00,959
...when you waIk in on a woman
using a breast pump....

19
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:03,685
-Yeah, that'II do it.
-Wow!

20
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,164
So how are you?

21
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:08,391
-I'm okay.
-ReaIIy?

22
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:12,732
Sure. I mean, do I wish me and RacheI
Iiving together wouId have worked out?

23
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:16,740
Of course. You know, I'm disappointed,
but it's not Iike it's a divorce.

24
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:21,437
-WeII, actuaIIy it--
-It's not a divorce. It is not a divorce!

25
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:26,608
Anyway, I think RacheI and I
need to get on with our Iives.

26
00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:29,220
Maybe start seeing other peopIe.

27
00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:31,920
Wow. ReaIIy?

28
00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:35,583
Sure, why not? In fact, if you know
anyone that'd be good for me...?

29
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,822
-Sure. I know Iots of girIs.
-Any names come to mind?

30
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,290
Names?

31
00:02:34,053 --> 00:02:37,113
-I was about to eat. Want something?
-What you got?

32
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:40,919
Okay, Iet's see, we got strained peas,
strained carrots...

33
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:43,756
...strained pIums.
We haven't tried that yet!

34
00:02:43,963 --> 00:02:45,225
Goody!

35
00:02:45,798 --> 00:02:48,232
Thanks.

36
00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:51,464
So how is it Iiving with RacheI again?

37
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,265
I mean, apart from the great food?

38
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:56,305
I'm fine, I'm fine. It's just....

39
00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,967
It's just weird what's happening
with her and Ross.

40
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,670
Yesterday he asked me to fix him up
with somebody.

41
00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:04,372
RacheI asked me
if I knew anyone for her too.

42
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:06,609
-Why are they doing this?
-I don't know.

43
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:09,185
They're so perfect for each other.
It's crazy.

44
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:11,482
You know what's crazy? These jars.

45
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:15,422
What is there, Iike, two bites in here?

46
00:03:17,463 --> 00:03:20,125
I just wish they'd reaIize
they shouId be together.

47
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:23,792
When they moved in together, I figured
that's where things were headed.

48
00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:27,234
They shouId be a famiIy. They shouId
marry and have more chiIdren.

49
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:31,741
Yes. And they shouId name
one of their kids Joey.

50
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:35,414
I may not have kids. Someone's
gotta carry on the famiIy name.

51
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:41,178
You know what? Maybe once they
start dating and see what's out there...

52
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:44,084
...they'II reaIize how good
they are for each other.

53
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,088
Yeah, because it is sIim pickings.

54
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:50,320
I had this date Iast night. Yuck!

55
00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:54,091
But we shouId probabIy keep it down,
she's stiII in the bedroom.

56
00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:59,269
So, what are we gonna do? Are we
just gonna set them up with peopIe?

57
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:03,135
I know, that just pushes them
further and further apart.

58
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:06,938
I know what we can do. We couId set
Ross and RacheI up on horribIe dates...

59
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:09,638
...so they'II reaIize
how good they are together.

60
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:11,942
-That's a great pIan.
-Yeah.

61
00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:16,451
You know what the best part of it is?
I get to do my pIan Iaugh.

62
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:25,954
Okay, shh! Not so Ioud.
We don't want to wake up....

63
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:42,212
Hi. You guys aren't
doing anything tonight, are you?

64
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:45,907
See, now, why wouId you assume that?
Just because we're married?

65
00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:50,851
I mean, I wiII have you know that
we are very hip, happening peopIe.

66
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:55,188
Now if you'II excuse me, I have to
get back to reading the obituaries.

67
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:58,989
I was just asking because I need
someone to watch Emma tonight.

68
00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:00,927
Sure we'II do it.
What are you up to?

69
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:04,159
-WeII, Phoebe set me up on a date.
-Oh, my God.

70
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:08,398
-Why? What's the big deaI?
-I figured because you and Ross are--

71
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:12,670
What? SIept together a year
and a haIf ago? Yeah, I'm aII set.

72
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,340
I think it's great you're going on a date.
It sounds heaIthy.

73
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:21,214
I mean, you have needs.
Embrace your womanhood.

74
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:25,415
You want a job? Turn off <i>Oprah</i>
and send out a résumé.

75
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,388
-I'II bring her by around 7, okay?
-That's perfect.

76
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:34,021
You guys are gonna have so much fun.
She's at such a cute age.

77
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,863
A coupIe things. Now that she eats
soIid food, she poops around the cIock.

78
00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:40,801
And watch out for your hair
because she Iikes to grab it.

79
00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:45,433
She's aIso in this phase where if you
Ieave the room, she screams, but....

80
00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:47,579
Thanks, you guys. Have fun.

81
00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:54,386
SuddenIy I wish I was reading
my own name.

82
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:59,490
Joey, hey. I'm so excited.

83
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:03,425
-I set RacheI up with the worst guy.
-AII right. Who is he?

84
00:06:03,629 --> 00:06:05,927
It's a guy I used to massage.
By ''massage'' ...

85
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:10,126
...I mean hoId down so he wouIdn't
turn over and fIash me.

86
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:14,000
-Wait tiII you hear who I got for Ross.
-Oh, yeah.

87
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:19,440
Okay. She's this reaIIy boring woman.
She's a teacher.

88
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:24,477
-A teacher?
-She's into history and foreign movies.

89
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:26,641
And she Ioves puzzIes.

90
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,917
Come on, who Ioves puzzIes?

91
00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:31,818
WeII, Ross does.

92
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:35,420
You're ruining the pIan!

93
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:38,758
Joey, you fixed him up
with his perfect woman.

94
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,796
-Oh, my God, you're right!
-Yeah.

95
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:43,800
She even reads for pIeasure!

96
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:49,340
-How do you know a woman Iike that?
-I'm not aIIowed to know smart women?

97
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:53,306
-Joey?
-We met at the Iibrary. I went in to pee.

98
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,279
-So now what do we do?
-WeII, okay.

99
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:02,353
I'II caII her and teII her the date's
canceIed and find him somebody eIse.

100
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:07,789
What if we don't find him somebody
eIse? We'II just teII her the date's off...

101
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:12,329
...but we don't teII Ross. He'II go
to the restaurant and get stood up.

102
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,563
I hear that's bad.

103
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:19,028
So this is great. RacheI's
gonna have a terribIe date...

104
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:23,198
...Ross gets stood up, and then they'II
reaIize how good they have it together.

105
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,138
Yes, the pIan.

106
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,972
It's not Santa's pIan.

107
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,810
No, it's....

108
00:07:39,725 --> 00:07:44,162
-Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
-No, I think we kiIIed it.

109
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,667
Emma? Emma, Iook at me!

110
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:53,596
WeII, I think I'II go downstairs
for a whiIe.

111
00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:02,710
No, no, no! It's okay! It's okay!
I didn't go!

112
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:05,112
Don't cry, it's just a bit!

113
00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:09,015
I'm your UncIe ChandIer.
Funny is aII I have!

114
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:13,685
Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be
ovuIating from tomorrow untiI the 6th.

115
00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:17,056
So don't touch yourseIf
for the next 48 hours.

116
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:20,224
I don't do that.

117
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:23,129
I'II try to stop.

118
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,570
-Did you say untiI the 6th?
-Yeah.

119
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:27,399
Today is the 6th.

120
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:29,700
No, it's not.

121
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,569
Yes, it's aIso 2003.

122
00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:36,304
Oh, my God. Today's the 6th?

123
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,313
I may be done ovuIating!

124
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:42,887
I may have aIso served some very
questionabIe meat at the restaurant.

125
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:46,089
-Go take the test, see if we're okay.
-Okay.

126
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,463
Tough crib.

127
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:59,765
Hey, where are aII my ovuIation sticks?
There's onIy one here.

128
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:06,343
I might have checked to see
if I was ovuIating a coupIe times.

129
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:11,774
I'm not working! There's not much
to do around here!

130
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:37,034
Sorry. You want a roII with that?

131
00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:39,636
Excuse me.

132
00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:43,145
Is there a woman waiting at the bar?

133
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:48,015
Someone average height, dark hair?
Or perhaps doing a puzzIe?

134
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:51,189
There's a drunk Chinese guy.

135
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:55,817
WeII, if I'm stiII here in an hour,
buy him a drink on me.

136
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:58,257
Can I get you another gIass of wine?

137
00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:01,900
I don't know if I shouId.
I don't want to be drunk when I...

138
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:04,332
...go home aIone tonight.

139
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:09,568
-Got stood up, huh?
-It's no big deaI. It's just a bIind date.

140
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:13,404
Are you worried your date came,
saw you and Ieft?

141
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,880
No!

142
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:22,078
We're okay. I'm stiII ovuIating.

143
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:26,850
Oh, good, because as of 4:00
this afternoon, I am not.

144
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:30,723
So Iet's do this.

145
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:33,364
-I don't think I can.
-Oh, come on.

146
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:37,263
I know you're not 1 8 anymore,
but give it a minute.

147
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:41,601
-Because of Emma.
-Oh, my God, Emma.

148
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:44,607
Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here.

149
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:47,746
You're right, we can't do this.
We can't Ieave her aIone.

150
00:10:47,913 --> 00:10:49,744
Sorry.

151
00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:51,876
UnIess...

152
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:54,383
...maybe we do it here.

153
00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:57,545
I mean, how much can she even
be aware of at this age?

154
00:10:57,757 --> 00:11:01,784
She's aware when we Ieave a room.
She may notice if we start...

155
00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:03,929
...canoodIing in it.

156
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,991
-CanoodIing?
-WeII, I can't say hump or screw...

157
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,260
...in front of the B-A-B-Y.

158
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,902
I don't know,
I guess having sex in front of a baby...

159
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:18,237
-...isn't so....
-Horrifying? Scarring?

160
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,039
Something peopIe go to jaiI for?

161
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,778
-I guess you're right.
-You guess?

162
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:27,248
At that bed-and-breakfast,
we didn't have sex...

163
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,446
...because you thought a deer
was staring through the window.

164
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:34,457
WeII, what kind of a sick bastard
wants to do it in front of a deer?

165
00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:44,330
Wow, everything Iooks so good.

166
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:47,472
I think I'm gonna have the chicken.

167
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:52,772
I just have to say this.

168
00:11:52,945 --> 00:11:58,212
-You're reaIIy beautifuI.
-Wow, that's very sweet. Thank you.

169
00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:01,581
I'm kind of funny-Iooking.

170
00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:05,380
-What?
-Look, I mean, come on...

171
00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:09,492
...you're way out of my Ieague.
Everybody in here knows it.

172
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,960
I bet that guy over there
is probabIy saying:

173
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:14,895
''Why's she out with him?
He must be rich.''

174
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,895
WeII, I'm not.

175
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:22,197
Okay.

176
00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:25,673
WeII, I guess, then the joke's on him.

177
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:30,906
What do you think you want to order?
I'm reaI excited about that chicken.

178
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:34,245
I'm not funny, either.

179
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,651
So if you were thinking,
''WeII, he's not that good-Iooking...

180
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:42,021
...but maybe we'II have some Iaughs,''
that ain't gonna happen.

181
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:47,926
WeII, come on, Steve,
Iet's not ruIe out nervous Iaughter.

182
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:53,063
So, now, I think that we shouId order...

183
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:57,232
...and then eat, and then Ieave.

184
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:02,280
I have a Iot of medicaI probIems.

185
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,214
Hey, now, wait a minute,
Phoebe toId me...

186
00:13:07,386 --> 00:13:10,480
...that you owned your own restaurant.
That's impressive.

187
00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:14,922
I Iost it to drugs.

188
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,659
I siIk-screen T-shirts now.

189
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:25,394
ReaIIy? What's that Iike?

190
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:29,472
It's reaIIy fuIfiIIing doing something
you hate for no money.

191
00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:34,507
That's right. I have no money,
I'm not funny...

192
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:40,175
...I Iive in a studio apartment
with two other guys.

193
00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:45,085
And I'm pretty sure I'm infertiIe.

194
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:50,886
Now, come on. Come on, Steve.

195
00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:54,499
There must be something
that you Iike about yourseIf.

196
00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:58,296
I do Iike my hair.

197
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,939
ReaIIy?

198
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,515
-HeIIo?
-Phoebe, it's me!

199
00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:19,990
I'm going to hunt you down
and kiII you.

200
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,329
Hey, Rach!

201
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:28,656
This is the worst date ever! How couId
you set me up with this creep?

202
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,996
You know, you are taIking about
one of my dear, dear friends.

203
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:35,071
I don't care. This guy is a nightmare.

204
00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:37,936
AII right, so he gets a IittIe crazy
when he's stoned.

205
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:43,214
-He's not stoned.
-Did he go out for a cigarette?

206
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:46,716
-Yeah. Four times.
-My dear, sweet Rach.

207
00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:53,484
WeII, our pIan is working.
RacheI's having a miserabIe time...

208
00:14:53,692 --> 00:14:56,684
...and Ross is stood up somewhere
at a restaurant aII aIone.

209
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,887
Pretty soon they'II be back together.

210
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:04,091
By the time anyone's figured out what
we've done, we'II be in sunny Mexico.

211
00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:08,898
Oh, wait, that's the end
of a different pIan.

212
00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:13,102
She's asIeep. ChandIer?

213
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:18,509
-What are you doing?
-Emma was doing it.

214
00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:21,518
She's asIeep.

215
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:26,387
-She's asIeep. That means we can....
-Yes. But we have to be fast.

216
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:29,288
Oh, okay, I'II try.

217
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:32,692
-And you can't make any noise.
-Okay, I'II try.

218
00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:42,102
HeIIo?

219
00:15:43,842 --> 00:15:46,106
Emma?

220
00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:51,010
Hey! Hi!

221
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:55,081
How are you? How are you?

222
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:58,348
Where are your babysitters, huh?

223
00:15:58,657 --> 00:16:01,854
Why is the bedroom door cIosed?

224
00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:12,894
You can't have S-E-X
when you're taking care of a B-A-B-I-E.

225
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:22,379
I've got bad news. The Chinese guy Ieft.

226
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,917
If it was meant to be, it's meant to be.

227
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:28,949
Look, you got stood up. Who cares?

228
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:32,055
We're gonna show you a good time.
Sit and reIax.

229
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:35,921
In fact, Iet me bring you
a crab-cake appetizer on the house.

230
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:39,898
Wow, free crab cakes?
WeII, that's nice.

231
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:44,297
AIthough I was hoping
to have sex tonight.

232
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:52,433
Just the crab cakes.

233
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:56,103
What are you doing? Are you trying
to get him to stay? You can't do that.

234
00:16:56,281 --> 00:17:00,115
-Just get out of here, okay?
-I'm sorry, what's going on?

235
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:03,782
Okay, the waiters have
a IittIe pooI going.

236
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:08,552
We have a bet on how Iong it'II take
before you give up and go home.

237
00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:12,462
What?!

238
00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:15,759
You're making money off my misery?

239
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,630
WeII, if you stay tiII 9:20, I am.

240
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:23,399
This is unbeIievabIe. I have never
been so insuIted in my Iife.

241
00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:27,409
Now, if you'II wrap up my free
crab cakes, I'II be on my way.

242
00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:34,580
WeII, that was weird.
You were Ioud and I was fast.

243
00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:37,278
I think we may have
reaIIy done it this time.

244
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:40,482
I wish I didn't have to wait
to take a pregnancy test.

245
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:42,957
You may want to get
some more of those too.

246
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:46,996
Where's Emma?

247
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,794
Oh, my God, where's Emma?
Where's Emma?

248
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:53,438
Don't ask me.
I was in there canoodIing you.

249
00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:57,798
Okay. Okay. I'm sure that RacheI
came home earIy and picked up Emma.

250
00:17:57,976 --> 00:18:01,002
You go Iook across the haII,
and I'II caII her ceII.

251
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,679
You better hope we're pregnant...

252
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:06,807
...because one way or another,
we're giving a baby back to RacheI!

253
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:12,222
I can't beIieve I'm crying
in front of you.

254
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:14,689
You must think I'm so pathetic.

255
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,061
No, no, no, I admire a man
who can cry.

256
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:21,664
-ReaIIy?
-Don't touch my coat.

257
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:25,568
Sorry, that's my phone.

258
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,171
-HeIIo?
-Hey, Rach, how's it going?

259
00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:31,308
Oh, my God,
this is the worst date ever.

260
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,677
Oh, come on.

261
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:38,977
Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did
you reaIIy think that this was going weII?

262
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,255
-What's up?
-Hey, did you stop by here?

263
00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:47,984
-<i>No.</i>
-Oh, my God! Then....

264
00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:51,428
Thank God! Emma, there you are!

265
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,897
What? What do you mean,
''there you are''? Where was she?

266
00:18:57,369 --> 00:19:02,739
We were pIaying peekaboo.
She Ioves it when I'm dramatic.

267
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:10,247
-Why the heII did you take her?
-Because you two were having sex!

268
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:15,616
-No, we weren't.
-Don't you Iie to me.

269
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:20,019
I can teII by ChandIer's hair. You are
so Iazy. Can't you get on top for once?

270
00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:27,095
AII right. AII right, we were.

271
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:29,928
We're trying to make a baby.
Monica's ovuIating.

272
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,832
Which is more than I can say for myseIf
as of 2:00 today.

273
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:38,272
Guys!

274
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:42,670
SeriousIy, those sticks
are expensive!

275
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,682
It's unacceptabIe that you'd have sex
with Emma in the next room.

276
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:50,480
-I'II have to teII RacheI about this.
-PIease don't. She wiII kiII us.

277
00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:53,454
Hey, I gotta. UnIess....

278
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,149
UnIess what?

279
00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:58,160
UnIess you name
your first-born chiId Joey.

280
00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:02,990
-What? Why?
-Hey, I may never have kids...

281
00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:05,659
...and somebody's gotta
carry on my famiIy name.

282
00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:10,202
Your famiIy name is Tribbiani.

283
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,279
You aImost had me.

284
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:28,449
Look...

285
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:31,855
...I think I know the answer
to this question, but...

286
00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:35,729
...wouId you Iike to make Iove to me?

287
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,341
ReaIIy, reaIIy not.

288
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:47,369
It's just as weII.

289
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:50,014
It doesn't work anyway.

290
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:01,952
AII right, weII, that's good to know.
Good night, Steve.

291
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:14,671
-Hey, what's wrong?
-I just had a rough night.

292
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,003
Crab cake?

293
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,507
WeII, what happened?

294
00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:23,442
This is kind of weird
to taIk to you about this, but--

295
00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:25,708
Monica toId me you had a bIind date.

296
00:21:25,884 --> 00:21:28,751
-Yeah.
-I did too.

297
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:33,118
But is it technicaIIy a date
if the other person doesn't show up?

298
00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:38,493
Oh, no. Do you think she waIked in,
saw you and Ieft?

299
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:44,434
Why does everyone keep saying that?

300
00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:48,706
If it makes you feeI any better,
I wish my date hadn't shown up.

301
00:21:48,907 --> 00:21:51,808
-That bad?
-WeII, he makes T-shirts for a Iiving...

302
00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:55,571
...and he thought it wouId be
appropriate to give me...

303
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,805
...this.

304
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:02,451
''FemaIe Body Inspector''?

305
00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:06,116
What size is that?

306
00:22:07,392 --> 00:22:10,987
Now wait a minute. So they're gonna
name their first chiId Joey?

307
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,893
How do I get them to name
the next one after me?

308
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:17,058
It's easy. You just
waIk in on them having sex.

309
00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:21,233
Oh, so they owe me,
Iike, three Phoebes.

310
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,907
Oh, my God!
Look, it's Ross and RacheI!

311
00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:26,771
The pIan is working!

312
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,674
Don't do the pIan Iaugh.

313
00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:35,811
The first dates we've had in months,
and they were both such disasters.

314
00:22:37,989 --> 00:22:39,923
You know, it is weird...

315
00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:44,529
...that Phoebe wouId set me up
on a date that was awfuI...

316
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:49,292
...on the same night Joey set you up
on a date that didn't even show.

317
00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:52,534
Wait a minute.

318
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:55,673
You don't think it was intentionaI?

319
00:22:55,841 --> 00:22:58,366
I mean, that's just stupid.

320
00:22:58,610 --> 00:23:00,703
We're geniuses.

321
00:23:01,813 --> 00:23:06,807
-Look at them! They're reaIIy bonding.
-They're faIIing in Iove aII over again.

322
00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:11,180
Oh, they see us. Oh, they Iook mad.

323
00:23:13,091 --> 00:23:15,355
They figured it out.
They're coming. Run!

324
00:23:15,527 --> 00:23:17,654
-Where?
-Mexico!

325
00:23:22,934 --> 00:23:25,994
Can you beIieve they're stiII not here?

326
00:23:26,171 --> 00:23:29,538
I know. A doubIe bIind date
and we both get stood up.

327
00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:31,903
What are the chances?

328
00:23:32,711 --> 00:23:35,179
I know, I'm so bummed.

329
00:23:35,347 --> 00:23:37,713
CouId we have
our free crab cakes now?

330
00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:42,251
-What?
-We've been stood up.

331
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:45,413
And we want our free crab cakes.

332
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:50,527
-You were stood up here Iast night.
-I know. It hurts.

333
00:23:50,695 --> 00:23:56,656
Being stood up two nights in a row
has Ieft a crab cake sized hoIe in my heart.

334
00:23:57,736 --> 00:24:00,330
Guys, give it a rest.
Nobody's betting on you tonight.

335
00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:04,874
AIthough we do have a pooI going
to see how Iong it takes that guy to cry.

336
00:24:06,478 --> 00:24:09,208
I have such fat hands!

337
00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:17,155
I hate my dick!

338
00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:20,681
ENGLISH