1
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:13,844
HeIIo.

2
00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:18,247
HeIIo.

3
00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:20,015
I Iove my new job!

4
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:23,014
-Honey, you're screaming.
-You bet your ass I am!

5
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,157
I just had the best first day ever!

6
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:27,486
The kitchen?
Twice as big as AIIessandro's.

7
00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,488
Oh, that's great.

8
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,959
And cIean? Not just heaIth
department-cIean, Monica-cIean!

9
00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:35,725
Awesome.

10
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,468
Oh, and the peopIe are so nice.

11
00:00:38,671 --> 00:00:40,730
There's this one guy, Jeffrey,
he's the maître d' .

12
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:43,041
ChandIer, you wiII Iove him!

13
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:47,236
He is without a doubt
the funniest guy I have ever met!

14
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,796
-This is nice.
-I know.

15
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,676
-You need both hands for that?
-Yeah, I kind of do.

16
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,873
WeII, how's this?

17
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,859
Are you sure that's sweet enough?

18
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,562
Look at you two hoIding hands.

19
00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:19,637
Is this getting serious?

20
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,632
Have you not taIked about it yet?

21
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,378
Am I making you uncomfortabIe?

22
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,541
If you were bigger you'd hit me.

23
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:37,681
I'm sorry.

24
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:41,759
It's obviousIy way too earIy
for us to be having that conversation.

25
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,096
-Is it?
-Maybe not. Is it?

26
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:46,355
When I got divorced...

27
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,661
...I didn't think I'd feeI this way about
someone for a reaIIy Iong time.

28
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,669
Then again, I didn't think I'd meet
someone Iike you. And....

29
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:56,900
This may be crazy-soon,
but I want you to have this.

30
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,343
No, not.... That's gum.

31
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:05,878
Oh, five bucks!
I Iove it when that happens, you know?

32
00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:08,111
-You don't know it's there--
-I know. Keep digging.

33
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,613
Sorry.

34
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,218
It's a key.

35
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:18,762
To be honest, I think I'd prefer
the five doIIars.

36
00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:22,365
-It's to my apartment.
-Wow!

37
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:25,027
Big step for Phoebe and Mike.

38
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:28,402
I don't want you to feeI Iike you
have to give me your key....

39
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,300
-No, I want to.
-Thank God.

40
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:37,409
Wow. I was starting to think
I'd never meet someone that...

41
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,381
...I wanted to do this with.

42
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:41,947
Here you go.

43
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,820
-This is cooI.
-It reaIIy is.

44
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:51,721
I know it. It is amazing.
These IittIe things open doors!

45
00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:57,827
So I don't go back to work
for another four weeks...

46
00:03:58,037 --> 00:03:59,971
...but we wouId Iike our nanny
to start right away...

47
00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:01,902
...so that Emma couId get
a chance to know her.

48
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,243
I think that's reaIIy smart.

49
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,776
The easier we can make the
transition for her the better.

50
00:04:06,946 --> 00:04:07,970
That's great. Great.

51
00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:10,513
-So do you have any questions for us?
-Not reaIIy.

52
00:04:10,683 --> 00:04:13,015
AII right. WeII, thank you
so much for coming.

53
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,780
-Thank you.
-It was reaIIy nice to meet you.

54
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:18,446
-We wiII caII you.
-Oh, you know, wait.

55
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,320
I do have one question.

56
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:23,462
Do you guys do random drug testing?

57
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,461
Boy, we hadn't reaIIy thought of that.

58
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:32,594
That's cooI. But if you do,
I'm gonna need three days' notice.

59
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:34,200
Okey-dokey!

60
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,466
We're never gonna find a nanny.

61
00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:41,171
Come on, Rach. We wiII. I promise.
We have more interviews.

62
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:45,477
Worse comes to worst, we can aIways
reconsider the first one we met with.

63
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:49,447
-What, the bIond with no bra?
-She was bIond?

64
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,083
Just a sec.

65
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,859
Okay, this one's name is Sandy.

66
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,863
She's got a degree in
EarIy ChiIdhood Education.

67
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:04,530
She worked for her Iast famiIy
for three years.

68
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,741
Hi. I'm Sandy.

69
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:15,637
And she's a IittIe mannish.

70
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,717
Oh, my God! David!

71
00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:30,184
-Is this a bad time?
-No, it's a great time! Come in!

72
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,489
Wow! Hi!

73
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:36,226
Oh, my gosh! What are you doing here?
Are you back from Minsk?

74
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:37,699
Just for a coupIe of days.

75
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,437
I'm here to expIain to the peopIe
who gave us our grant...

76
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,939
...why it's a positive thing that
we've spent aII their money...

77
00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:46,873
...and accompIished nothing.

78
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,378
Who cares? It got you here.

79
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:52,712
It got me to New York.
Then I got in a cab at the airport...

80
00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,546
...and the guy said, ''Where to?''

81
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:58,521
I just gave him your address.
I didn't even think about it.

82
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,024
Where's your Iuggage?

83
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,463
Damn it.

84
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:09,057
AII right, I'II caII the cab company.

85
00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:13,362
We can caII them Iater.
Can you just stand there for a moment?

86
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,002
Boy.

87
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:20,009
There's an oId Russian expression
that goes:

88
00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:26,174
RoughIy transIated, that means:

89
00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:29,617
''This thing that I'm Iooking at: Wow.''

90
00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:33,155
Thank you.

91
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,887
You shouId see me when--
ActuaIIy, no, I Iook pretty good.

92
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,488
Are you kidding?

93
00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:42,327
You know, when you don't see
someone for a Iong time...

94
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,970
...you buiId them up in your head,
you start thinking:

95
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,868
''Come on, don't be crazy,
nobody's that beautifuI.''

96
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,531
But, weII, you are.

97
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:55,504
WeII, so are you seeing anyone?

98
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,573
No.

99
00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:02,316
I'm just the worst person ever!

100
00:07:02,688 --> 00:07:05,054
How can I not teII David
that I'm seeing Mike?

101
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:06,849
Maybe he didn't give you a chance.

102
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:10,492
He said, ''Are you seeing someone?''
and I said, ''No.''

103
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:14,427
WeII, that wouId've been your window.

104
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:18,370
I mean, I don't know.
I was Iooking in his eyes...

105
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:22,099
...and I was just thinking,
''Oh, my God, it's David. David's here.''

106
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,708
He's so irresistibIe.

107
00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:28,205
-ReaIIy? The scientist guy?
-ReaIIy? ChandIer?

108
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,383
Continue.

109
00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:38,714
Then it gets worse...

110
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,950
...because I toId him
I wouId see him tomorrow night.

111
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,591
-Phoebe!
-I know! EviI!

112
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:52,270
I Iike Mike so much, you know?
It's just going reaIIy weII. Oh, my God!

113
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,797
Isn't it ironic that David
wouId show up...

114
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,465
...on the same day that
you and Mike exchange keys?

115
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,377
Yeah. You know, and given
my IifeIong search for irony...

116
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,574
...you can imagine how happy I am!

117
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:11,145
-What are you gonna do?
-I mean, I guess I just have to...

118
00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:14,849
...teII David that nothing
can happen between us.

119
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:17,289
UnIess I don't.

120
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,454
You know, compIicated moraI situation?

121
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:22,294
-No right, no wrong?
-You have to teII David.

122
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:26,268
I knew I shouId've had this conversation
with Joey.

123
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:31,436
Funniest guy she's ever met.

124
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,670
I'm funny, right?

125
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,412
What do you know? You're a door.

126
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:39,312
You just Iike knock-knock jokes.

127
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:44,422
Save it for inside.

128
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:52,191
So OkIahoma's a crazy pIace. You know,
they caII it the Sooner State.

129
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,832
FrankIy, I'd sooner be in any other state!

130
00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:59,437
And what's with OkIahoma
having a panhandIe?

131
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,300
Can aII states have stuff Iike that?

132
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:04,841
Hey, yeah, I'm from the waistband
of Wyoming.

133
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:09,105
But when I was 7,
we headed over to the crotch.

134
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:12,447
Was your cabin pressurized?

135
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:16,845
And don't get me started on the way
the peopIe from TuIsa taIk.

136
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:18,817
Okay.

137
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:24,862
What's with the word ''y'aII''? You know,
just two words just pushed together?

138
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:28,728
Are we aII aIIowed to do that?
Because if so, I say why stop there?

139
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:32,132
You know, your new poodIe
couId be your noodIe.

140
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:34,999
And fried chicken couId be fricken.

141
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:38,074
Waiter? Waiter, excuse me,
I'II have the fricken!

142
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,546
See, that's funny with the fricken, right?

143
00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:47,584
No, it just reminds me of something
this guy did today at work.

144
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,744
I toId you about that funny guy, Jeffrey,
right?

145
00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:51,849
Yeah, he came up.

146
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:57,025
WeII, he did this bit.
You probabIy had to be there...

147
00:09:57,196 --> 00:10:01,860
...but it was Liza MinneIIi Iocked
in our freezer eating a raw chicken.

148
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:10,208
-Were you there?
-No, but it sounds fricken funny.

149
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:17,172
I reaIIy understand how hard it's gotta be
to Ieave your chiId with another person.

150
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,615
I mean, it's Iike Ieaving behind
a piece of your heart.

151
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:24,982
Sandy, that's exactIy what it is.

152
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:28,292
Are you gay?

153
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:35,766
I'm sorry, that's our Ross.
He's just Mr. Shoot Straight From The Hip.

154
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,731
It's okay. I get that a Iot doing what I do.

155
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,238
But I am straight. I'm engaged, actuaIIy.

156
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:46,539
-Her name's DeIia.
-That's pretty.

157
00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:52,581
So you're just, Iike,
a guy who's a nanny.

158
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:58,087
I reaIize how it's a bit unorthodox
for some peopIe.

159
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:02,284
But I reaIIy beIieve the most satisfying
thing you can do with your Iife...

160
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:03,951
...is take care of a chiId.

161
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,058
Okay.

162
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:10,099
Like at my Iast job.

163
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:12,396
I met DanieI when he was
3 weeks oId.

164
00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:16,166
And I got to watch him grow
into this awesome person.

165
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:19,469
When I Ieft, I said, ''I'II see you soon.''

166
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:22,671
And he said to me, ''Skadandy?''

167
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,747
That was his name for me.

168
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:31,950
''I'II see you every day right in....''

169
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:41,789
-It's okay.
-Yeah, kids say aII kinds of crap.

170
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,502
Oh, God, she must need
her diaper changed.

171
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:53,407
-I can take care of that, if you want.
-That wouId be great.

172
00:11:55,548 --> 00:12:00,076
Just so you know, these dinosaur toys
aren't reaIIy age-appropriate.

173
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:01,947
They're mine.

174
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,354
AIso not age-appropriate.

175
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:13,824
I Iove him, I Iove him, I Iove him!

176
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:16,160
Come on. Rach, he's a guy!

177
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,428
So what? He's smart. He's quaIified.

178
00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:20,765
Give me one good reason
we shouIdn't try him out.

179
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:24,439
Because it's weird!

180
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:26,070
Why?

181
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:34,246
Wow, I never Iooked at it that way.

182
00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:37,988
What kind of a job is that for a man?
A nanny?

183
00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:41,253
I mean, it's Iike if a woman
wanted to be--

184
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,724
Yes?

185
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,461
King?

186
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:51,894
I hope you don't mind. I used
some of my homemade Iotion on Emma.

187
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:56,167
It's a mixture of caIenduIa and
honey cream. It'II dry that rash right up.

188
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:59,469
PIus, it keeps the hands young.

189
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,412
Yes! Sandy, you're hired!

190
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,653
That's great!

191
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:15,619
I'm sorry.

192
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:19,253
It's just such an emotionaI thing
when you're weIcomed into a new famiIy.

193
00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:20,758
Oh, God. Come here.

194
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,795
You gotta be at Ieast bi.

195
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,484
I need you to set me up for a joke.

196
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,126
When Monica's around,
ask me about fire trucks.

197
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:53,291
I don't know, ChandIer. I'm not
so good with remembering Iines.

198
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:58,226
Thank God your IiveIihood
doesn't depend on it.

199
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,235
I know, right?

200
00:14:01,373 --> 00:14:02,738
Why are we doing this?

201
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:06,543
Monica says that her maître d' is
the funniest guy she's ever met.

202
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:10,705
-SeriousIy? She actuaIIy said that?
-Yes. Am I crazy to be this upset?

203
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,849
-No! Being funny's your thing!
-Yeah!

204
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,622
Without that, you just got
''Iame with women'' !

205
00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:19,717
Hi! There you are.

206
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,154
Fire trucks!

207
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:34,966
-Hi.
-Hi.

208
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,002
I brought you this from Minsk.

209
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:43,410
You're not gonna beIief this.
This is Iemon-fIavored vodka.

210
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:46,947
Yeah, we actuaIIy have this here.

211
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:51,051
I traded four pairs of Levi's for that.

212
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,917
Thanks anyway.

213
00:14:56,228 --> 00:15:00,324
Wow. You Iook even more beautifuI
than you did yesterday.

214
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,599
In fact, I'm going to kiss you now.

215
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:07,695
-Wait, wait.
-I can't get away with stuff Iike that.

216
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:10,865
It sounded sexy in my head, so I....

217
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,234
No, no, it's not that.

218
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,680
Remember when you asked me if
I was seeing someone and I said no?

219
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,877
WeII, I am. His name's Mike.

220
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,718
-I shouId've toId you.
-No.

221
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,520
WeII, yeah.

222
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:36,796
I'm sorry. I wanted to teII you,
but then I just got Iost in your eyes...

223
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:39,870
...and I just forgot aII about....

224
00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:43,268
-Mike?
-Right, yes.

225
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:50,048
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-WeII, it's okay. I understand.

226
00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:53,013
WeII, are you happy with this guy?

227
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,287
-I am happy.
-Damn it.

228
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,922
I'm sorry. I don't mean that.
I want you to be happy.

229
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:02,390
But onIy with me. No, that's not fair.
Who cares. Leave him.

230
00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:05,792
I don't mean that. Yes, I do.
I'm sorry.

231
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:10,329
I think I shouId probabIy go.

232
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:14,569
But, David, I just want you to know that,
you know...

233
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:19,301
...teIIing you this is one of the
hardest things I've ever had to do.

234
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,246
WeII, just so you know...

235
00:16:22,414 --> 00:16:25,542
...hearing it wasn't exactIy
a VIadnik carnivaI, either.

236
00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:32,056
-Can we at Ieast hug goodbye?
-Of course. Yeah.

237
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:43,096
You know, and a kiss on the cheek
wouIdn't be totaIIy inappropriate.

238
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:46,066
-No. No.
-I mean....

239
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:50,439
-In Minsk?
-Yeah?

240
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:53,203
It's two on each cheek...

241
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:58,339
-...and one on the Iips.
-WeII, if that's what they do in Minsk.

242
00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:06,221
In New York, it's--

243
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,491
Oh, boy.

244
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,397
Is everything aII right?

245
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,799
Oh, yeah. No, it's fine. It's fine.

246
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:28,811
Sandy was just teIIing me about how he
proposed to his fiancée...

247
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:30,842
...and it was so beautifuI.

248
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:34,242
Her favorite fIower is the cameIIia.
From the poem--

249
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,644
I can't hear it again!

250
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:39,188
You know, I can't teII it again!

251
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,716
And I'm fine never having heard it.

252
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:48,561
-Rach, can I see you for a sec?
-Yeah. Excuse me.

253
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:56,903
Do you reaIize that man has cried
in our apartment three times?

254
00:17:57,376 --> 00:18:00,402
I haven't cried that many times
since I moved in!

255
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:06,374
Come on, Ross, you got a IittIe misty
when Ben broke your I-heart-fossiIs mug.

256
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:11,146
I'II have you know that was a fareweII gift
from my coIIeagues at the museum.

257
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:15,726
-Okay? They aII chipped in for that.
-They must have aII Ioved you very much.

258
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:20,092
Look, Ross, Sandy's just sensitive.
That's aII.

259
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:24,702
Okay, okay. See, that is the probIem.
He is too sensitive.

260
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:26,833
Too sensitive to take care of our baby?

261
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:31,199
No, I mean, that guy--
These are amazing!

262
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,411
Sandy made madeIeines.

263
00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:36,873
This is exactIy
what I'm taIking about.

264
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:42,578
What kind of a guy makes deIicate
French cookies?

265
00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:46,212
They're not even butch,
manIy cookies with....

266
00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:49,952
You know, with chunks!

267
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,795
WeII, you know,
I don't know what to say.

268
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:59,904
I mean, I never thought of you as a guy
who needed his men to be men.

269
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:05,738
I gotta teII you, Ross, it's not Iike you
just came in from branding cattIe.

270
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:12,782
Hey, there's sensitive and
there's too sensitive.

271
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,848
Okay, what is too sensitive?

272
00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:43,641
No, I can't. I can't do this. It's bad.

273
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:48,583
But it's nice. And nice is good.

274
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:52,315
And good is not bad.
Ergo, we shouId keep kissing.

275
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,023
-No, no. No.
-But....

276
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,622
Ergo.

277
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:02,032
Look, David, if you had never Ieft, then...

278
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,965
...yeah, we'd probabIy stiII be together
right now.

279
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:11,599
But you did Ieave. And I'm with Mike
and I reaIIy care about him.

280
00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:14,143
Okay.

281
00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:16,808
WeII, he's very Iucky.

282
00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:18,814
Thank you.

283
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,609
Goodbye.

284
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:32,494
The key works.

285
00:20:32,664 --> 00:20:34,393
Hi, Mike.

286
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:40,228
And, you, thanks for the face massage!
Thank you!

287
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:45,907
Did RacheI teII you we hired
a maIe nanny?

288
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:47,575
I think that's great!

289
00:20:47,946 --> 00:20:53,407
Did she teII you he pIays the recorder,
recites poetry and bakes madeIeines?

290
00:20:55,988 --> 00:21:00,891
-How are they?
-Lighter than air, but that's not the point.

291
00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:05,592
RacheI and I hired a maIe nanny.

292
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:07,998
ReaIIy?

293
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,259
Guys do that?

294
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,903
-That's weird.
-Thank you!

295
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,297
-That's Iike a woman wanting to be--
-What?

296
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:19,069
-What's the end of that sentence?
-Yes. What is the end of that sentence?

297
00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:24,145
A penis modeI!

298
00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,653
Anyway, did you teII ChandIer
that some guy from work...

299
00:21:32,824 --> 00:21:34,724
...is the funniest guy you ever met?

300
00:21:34,993 --> 00:21:38,019
-Yeah. So?
-Wow!

301
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:41,163
ReaIIy? Do you not know ChandIer?

302
00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:47,601
Is that why he's acting so weird?
He's jeaIous?

303
00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:48,933
Oh, my God, that is crazy.

304
00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:51,507
-It's not Iike I'm attracted to Jeffrey.
-So what?

305
00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:56,546
Being funny is ChandIer's thing.
Like Ross' thing is....

306
00:22:01,286 --> 00:22:03,345
Science?

307
00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:07,023
Academia? Being a good father?

308
00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:13,731
-I can't beIieve he's that upset.
-Are you kidding?

309
00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:18,495
That's Iike ChandIer saying he met someone
who was more uptight than you.

310
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:24,469
-Excuse me?
-I'm sorry. Sorry. More controIIing than you.

311
00:22:25,944 --> 00:22:28,037
-WeII, that's better.
-Yeah, okay.

312
00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:30,545
You have to do some damage controI.

313
00:22:30,716 --> 00:22:33,150
Because he's feeIing Iike--

314
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,213
What are you guys taIking about?

315
00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:41,853
RacheI and I hired a maIe nanny.

316
00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:45,422
You got a man who's a nanny?

317
00:22:45,597 --> 00:22:46,894
You got a ''manny''?

318
00:22:56,575 --> 00:22:58,566
You know, I don't mind a maIe nanny...

319
00:22:58,744 --> 00:23:00,575
...but I do draw the Iine
at maIe wet nurse.

320
00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:08,411
You are on a roII, mister!

321
00:23:09,254 --> 00:23:12,189
If I'd known you guys were coming over,
I wouId've brought more pizza.

322
00:23:14,526 --> 00:23:18,656
Okay! Okay! Stop it, you!
You stop it!

323
00:23:21,032 --> 00:23:22,897
What is so funny about that?

324
00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:29,305
Monica?

325
00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:33,541
I don't know, it's....
Just the way you say it.

326
00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:37,671
I mean, you're funny. You have
that funny thing. You're a funny guy!

327
00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:43,850
Did you teII her what we taIked about?

328
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:56,731
So those were pity Iaughs?
Pity Iaughs?!

329
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,768
Honey, Iisten.

330
00:24:00,138 --> 00:24:02,197
You have nothing to worry about
with Jeffrey.

331
00:24:02,374 --> 00:24:04,501
Oh, yeah? Is he funnier than me?

332
00:24:04,876 --> 00:24:07,367
WeII, you're different funny.

333
00:24:07,546 --> 00:24:09,878
I mean, you're more sarcastic.

334
00:24:10,048 --> 00:24:13,609
WeII, he does bits and impressions
and Iimericks.

335
00:24:14,019 --> 00:24:15,043
I do Iimericks.

336
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:20,714
There once was a man named ChandIer
whose wife made him die inside.

337
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,890
Honey, you know I think you're hiIarious.

338
00:24:25,063 --> 00:24:26,963
You know that joke
you toId me Iast week?

339
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:30,033
The one about Jerry Lewis
and the girI with the Iazy eye.

340
00:24:30,335 --> 00:24:31,768
That sIayed me.

341
00:24:32,237 --> 00:24:36,333
Hey! I made up that joke
and toId it to you.

342
00:24:40,078 --> 00:24:44,447
-Not knowing when to shut up.
-Yep, that's my thing.

343
00:24:47,285 --> 00:24:50,584
So how many guys have your key?

344
00:24:51,723 --> 00:24:53,657
It's not as bad as it Iooks.

345
00:24:54,025 --> 00:24:55,890
I was saying goodbye to an oId friend.

346
00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:58,252
Your Iipstick's on his mouth.

347
00:24:59,197 --> 00:25:02,166
We just happen to wear the same shade.

348
00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:06,596
No, David and I did used to go out.

349
00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:11,909
But years ago. And he Iives in Minsk.
He's onIy in town for a coupIe days.

350
00:25:12,611 --> 00:25:14,272
-Did you--?
-No. No.

351
00:25:14,446 --> 00:25:16,107
-Kiss him?
-Oh, weII, yeah.

352
00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:20,877
Yes, but--
Look, she reaIIy Iikes you.

353
00:25:21,052 --> 00:25:24,317
In fact, she stopped
what was a pretty amazing kiss.

354
00:25:24,489 --> 00:25:28,016
-David, David, David.
-No, no. He shouId hear this.

355
00:25:28,193 --> 00:25:31,629
I don't think you reaIize
just how Iucky you are, feIIa.

356
00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:34,195
-Don't point your finger at me!
-Why?

357
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,924
What are you gonna do about it?

358
00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:39,030
WeII, I'II show you
what I'm gonna do about it.

359
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:41,695
-Oh, reaIIy? ReaIIy?
-You want some of that?

360
00:25:45,577 --> 00:25:48,705
Stop it! Stop it!
Before someone gets reaIIy hurt!

361
00:25:51,416 --> 00:25:53,884
Here, David, you shouId just go.

362
00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:55,349
AII right.

363
00:25:56,588 --> 00:26:01,287
But if I ever do come back from Minsk,
weII, you just better watch out.

364
00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:04,720
-If I go to Minsk, you better watch out.
-Oh, you're going to Minsk?

365
00:26:04,930 --> 00:26:07,763
-WeII, I might.
-ReaIIy?

366
00:26:07,933 --> 00:26:11,266
WeII, if you do, come in the spring.
It's just IoveIy there.

367
00:26:11,937 --> 00:26:13,495
I've heard that, actuaIIy.

368
00:26:13,672 --> 00:26:16,106
Okay, weII, guys?

369
00:26:17,442 --> 00:26:19,034
-Goodbye, Phoebe.
-Bye.

370
00:26:19,277 --> 00:26:22,804
-Hey, what, are you kidding me?
-Right-o. Right-o.

371
00:26:26,518 --> 00:26:28,452
Take good care of her.

372
00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:33,450
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

373
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:36,958
If you want your key back,
I totaIIy understand.

374
00:26:38,530 --> 00:26:41,624
-It's never gonna happen again, right?
-Right. Never. I swear.

375
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:49,498
I just want to say, if you do ever
come to Minsk, that's my number.

376
00:26:49,674 --> 00:26:53,132
We'II party up VIadnik-styIe.

377
00:27:09,060 --> 00:27:10,652
Yeah! AII right!

378
00:27:11,029 --> 00:27:15,227
Hey, Ross! Check it out!
Sandy taught me ''Hot Cross Buns'' !

379
00:27:15,834 --> 00:27:18,359
ReaIIy? Sounded Iike ''Three BIind Mice.''

380
00:27:18,737 --> 00:27:21,501
-''Three BIind Mice'' goes Iike this.
-I swear to God.

381
00:27:25,243 --> 00:27:28,906
-Who's up for puppets?
-Me! I'm up for puppets!

382
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,913
WeII, pIease weIcome:

383
00:27:32,083 --> 00:27:34,051
The SnuffIebumps!

384
00:27:34,219 --> 00:27:37,882
Who wants to be Mr. WiggIemunch and
who's gonna be the Grumpus?

385
00:27:38,056 --> 00:27:43,255
How exactIy is a 2-month-oId
supposed to appreciate puppets?

386
00:27:43,628 --> 00:27:47,758
Studies show that the movement and
coIors heIp their cerebraI deveIopment.

387
00:27:47,932 --> 00:27:51,493
The whimsicaI characters are just for us.

388
00:27:55,573 --> 00:27:58,440
I want to be Mr. WiggIemunch!

389
00:27:59,611 --> 00:28:00,873
Oh, my God.

390
00:28:01,112 --> 00:28:03,808
WeII, I guess we know who's
gonna be the Grumpus!

391
00:28:09,387 --> 00:28:11,947
-That was kind of rude.
-Oh, I'm sorry.

392
00:28:12,123 --> 00:28:16,150
PIease apoIogize to Sandy
and the SnuffIebumps for me.

393
00:28:16,761 --> 00:28:19,662
-You know, he was just doing his job.
-You know what?

394
00:28:19,831 --> 00:28:26,066
I'm sorry I'm the onIy one who isn't
in Iove with Gary Poppins out there.

395
00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:31,100
But I just-- I can't go through with this.

396
00:28:31,476 --> 00:28:32,943
-Come on.
-No! You know what?

397
00:28:33,178 --> 00:28:38,138
I wouId never force you to hire someone
you were this uncomfortabIe with.

398
00:28:41,753 --> 00:28:43,687
That's true.

399
00:28:43,855 --> 00:28:45,049
Thank you.

400
00:28:45,290 --> 00:28:47,622
You want to fire him,
so you have to go do it.

401
00:28:50,929 --> 00:28:56,299
So you see, WiggIemunch,
that's why it's important to share.

402
00:28:58,636 --> 00:29:01,935
I am Iearning so much from you.

403
00:29:06,845 --> 00:29:08,107
WeII, I'm off to TuIsa.

404
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,711
So if your maître d' friend
has any funny OkIahoma jokes...

405
00:29:11,883 --> 00:29:16,650
...teII him to e-maiI me at
www-dot-ha-ha-not-so-much-dot-com!

406
00:29:18,857 --> 00:29:20,449
Honey, you can reIax.

407
00:29:20,658 --> 00:29:24,025
Last night at work Jeffrey
toId this reaIIy sexist joke.

408
00:29:24,195 --> 00:29:27,130
-After that, not so funny anymore.
-ReaIIy?

409
00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:31,128
See, that's the thing.
You gotta keep it smart, peopIe!

410
00:29:32,370 --> 00:29:34,634
Don't miss that fIight.
You know I Iove you.

411
00:29:35,006 --> 00:29:37,167
I Iove you too.

412
00:29:37,375 --> 00:29:41,141
-And I Iike you as a friend.
-Right.

413
00:29:41,312 --> 00:29:43,837
-See you Iater.
-See you.

414
00:29:45,416 --> 00:29:48,908
-Did the guy reaIIy make that joke?
-No, he stiII kiIIs me.

415
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:53,386
Last night he had me Iaughing so hard,
I swear a IittIe pee came out.

416
00:30:01,733 --> 00:30:02,893
Here goes.

417
00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:06,399
I can't watch. It's Iike firing EImo.

418
00:30:11,042 --> 00:30:12,441
Sandy? Hi.

419
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:14,373
-Hi.
-We....

420
00:30:14,546 --> 00:30:16,571
We kind of need to taIk.

421
00:30:20,585 --> 00:30:22,883
I'm afraid it's not working out.

422
00:30:28,026 --> 00:30:33,054
I mean, RacheI and I think you are great
with Emma.

423
00:30:33,231 --> 00:30:36,462
-We just feeI--
-You! You feeI!

424
00:30:37,368 --> 00:30:41,862
I just feeI...

425
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,407
...that the chemistry isn't right.
I'm sorry.

426
00:30:45,577 --> 00:30:48,239
We're more than happy to give you
a good recommendation.

427
00:30:48,613 --> 00:30:52,811
No, that's okay. I had a Iot of offers
from other famiIies.

428
00:30:52,984 --> 00:30:55,282
I just picked you guys because...

429
00:30:55,453 --> 00:30:59,549
-...I Iiked you the best.
-Oh, damn you, GeIIer!

430
00:31:02,794 --> 00:31:05,786
Anyway, weII I'm gIad
there's no hard feeIings.

431
00:31:06,197 --> 00:31:10,827
None at aII. You need to be happy
with whoever is in your home.

432
00:31:11,069 --> 00:31:14,596
AIthough, if you don't mind teIIing me...

433
00:31:14,772 --> 00:31:18,230
...what was the probIem? Maybe it's
something I can work on in the future.

434
00:31:18,943 --> 00:31:24,575
No, you know, it's nothing you did.
It's my issue.

435
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,275
What is it?

436
00:31:29,754 --> 00:31:31,346
PIease?

437
00:31:34,959 --> 00:31:41,421
You know, I'm just not that comfortabIe
with a guy who's as sensitive as you.

438
00:31:42,467 --> 00:31:43,491
That's fair.

439
00:31:44,535 --> 00:31:48,164
AIthough, can I ask,
why do you think that is?

440
00:31:48,806 --> 00:31:50,637
Why? I don't know.

441
00:31:58,349 --> 00:32:00,874
Maybe because of my father?

442
00:32:05,256 --> 00:32:07,747
You know, when I was growing up,
he was a tough guy.

443
00:32:09,193 --> 00:32:13,857
You know, and as a kid,
I wasn't the athIete I am now.

444
00:32:15,166 --> 00:32:17,964
I pIay squash!

445
00:32:21,539 --> 00:32:27,136
Anyway, I aIways got the feeIing
he thought I was too sensitive.

446
00:32:27,645 --> 00:32:28,976
That must have been hard.

447
00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:32,540
It was hard.

448
00:32:33,818 --> 00:32:39,017
I remember I was in my bedroom,
pIaying with my dinosaurs....

449
00:32:40,091 --> 00:32:41,422
PIaying and Iearning.

450
00:32:44,095 --> 00:32:49,931
And my father waIks in and says,
''What are you doing with those things?

451
00:32:50,168 --> 00:32:56,073
What's wrong with you? Why aren't you
outside pIaying Iike a reaI boy?''

452
00:32:56,507 --> 00:32:59,670
-But you are a reaI boy.
-I know I am!

453
00:33:01,946 --> 00:33:07,077
And when it's summer and it's hot,
why can't you wear a tank top?!

454
00:33:08,453 --> 00:33:14,688
It's aII right. Crying is good.
It Iets the boo-hoos out.

455
00:33:17,362 --> 00:33:19,523
Here comes some more!

456
00:33:24,669 --> 00:33:31,165
Emma, one day you're gonna grow up
and be a big girI, just Iike your daddy.

457
00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:39,645
And what's the one kind of boat
that can never ever sink?

458
00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:44,819
-What kind?
-A friend ship!

459
00:33:46,724 --> 00:33:50,023
Wow! You bIow my mind!

460
00:33:51,996 --> 00:33:54,021
I gotta go.

461
00:33:54,232 --> 00:33:55,995
-How much do I owe you?
-Twenty bucks.

462
00:33:56,634 --> 00:33:59,865
It's Iike the cheapest coIIege ever!

463
00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:02,700
-I'II see you tomorrow.
-Okay, bye-bye, Skadandy.

464
00:34:08,246 --> 00:34:10,237
ENGLISH