1 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:02,896 Oh, hey, you guys? 2 00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:05,867 I couIdn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday... 3 00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:08,199 ...so we'II have to do dinner Thursday night. 4 00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:13,311 -Thursday? But that's HaIIoween. -So? 5 00:00:13,713 --> 00:00:15,806 It's just spooky, that's aII. 6 00:00:16,816 --> 00:00:18,579 So, is Mike coming to dinner? 7 00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:22,551 No. It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. 8 00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:26,749 I'd get mad at him, but I think it's too soon to show my true coIors. 9 00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:31,987 I wouId make the reservation for five. One of us has to stay with Emma. 10 00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:34,258 -Which one of us shouId go to dinner? -RacheI! 11 00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:40,697 ActuaIIy, I was thinking maybe both of us couId go. 12 00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:46,507 Thanks. I'II put a Iot of extra thought into your gift. 13 00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:50,109 AII right, so great, we can aII go now. 14 00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:52,751 That is fun! Hey! You know what? 15 00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:56,616 We aII haven't been together, the six of us, in such a Iong time. 16 00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:59,018 What are you taIking about? We're together now. 17 00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,819 Mon? ChandIer's not here. 18 00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:06,965 Oh, dear God. 19 00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:59,285 HeIIo. It's nice to see our team together for the first time. 20 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,853 Now, before we get started, are there any questions? 21 00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,785 -Yes. Ken, is it? -That's right. 22 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,325 Is it true the reason you're in TuIsa is, you feII asIeep in a meeting... 23 00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:12,090 ...and took the job without reaIizing what you were saying yes to? 24 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,560 WeII, don't beIieve everything you hear, Ken. 25 00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:18,294 But yeah, that's true. 26 00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:25,008 AII right, Iet's get started by taking a Iook at Iast quarter's figures. 27 00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:30,513 CIaudia, aren't you supposed to bIow smoke up the boss's ass? 28 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:37,053 -I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you? -No. I smoked for years. Then I quit. 29 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,657 Right now, I can't remember why. 30 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,658 You're not aIIowed to smoke in this office, right? 31 00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:46,423 Yes, in OkIahoma it's IegaI to smoke in offices with 1 5 peopIe or Iess. 32 00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:49,830 -WouId you Iike one? -WouId Joey Iike two pizzas? 33 00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:54,766 You don't know what I'm taIking about. 34 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,206 AII right, Iook. I don't smoke anymore. 35 00:02:57,443 --> 00:03:00,674 But if the rest of you want to Iight up, go ahead, it's fine. 36 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:06,482 So, you aII smoke, then? 37 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:09,713 You know, it's aImost rude that I'm not smoking. 38 00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:12,322 -That's not true. If you don't want-- -Ken, pIease! 39 00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:18,688 No, I can't. I can't smoke. If I smoke, my wife wouId kiII me. 40 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:21,162 I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York? 41 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:26,171 I've aIways Iiked you, Ken. 42 00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,308 Trick or treat. 43 00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:37,713 -Hey. -And ''treat'' it is. 44 00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:42,716 Wow. So gIad I changed. 45 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:47,089 I aImost wore my threadbare robe that can't contain my breasts. 46 00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:51,455 This is not what I'm wearing. I'm ovuIating... 47 00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:55,032 ...and ChandIer's gonna be home. So, I thought we wouId try before dinner. 48 00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:58,265 Oh, I thought we'd aII go over together. 49 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,998 AII right, I'II just meet you there at dinner. 50 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:05,838 UnIess, I mean, if it heIps, I couId stay and watch. 51 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,680 -No! -WeII, I didn't want to anyway. 52 00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:13,376 You know, just thought I'd be poIite and offer. 53 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:17,017 Wait, does this mean you'II be Iate? 54 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,090 We haven't seen each other in over a week. 55 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,090 We'II probabIy be the first ones there. 56 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:24,060 Okay. See you there. Happy humping. 57 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:27,932 Hey. WeII, hey! 58 00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:31,496 Wow, somebody smoked out here? 59 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,132 My God, don't peopIe know you're not aIIowed to smoke in pubIic spaces? 60 00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:43,509 ActuaIIy, in OkIahoma smoking's IegaI in offices with fewer than 1 5 peopIe. 61 00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:45,513 Oh, you smoked. 62 00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:50,451 No. I just happen to know a Iot of trivia about smoking in different states. 63 00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:55,219 For exampIe, in Hawaii, cigarettes are caIIed lei-lana-lukus. 64 00:04:56,596 --> 00:05:01,124 -Oh, ChandIer, you stink of cigarettes! -Do you think Monica wiII smeII it? 65 00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:04,826 Are you kidding? That woman has the nose of a bIoodhound. 66 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,439 And the breasts of a Greek goddess. 67 00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:13,971 Pheebs? 68 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,774 I'm gonna go. 69 00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:23,945 Okay. Something to cover the smeII. 70 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,492 Oven cIeaner. 71 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,568 Unscented. 72 00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:39,694 WeIcome home. 73 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,702 I've missed you. 74 00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:48,438 -You want to join me in the bedroom? -No, thanks, I'm good. 75 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:53,317 Okay. So you want to pIay it that way, do you? 76 00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:56,213 WeII, you know what, actuaIIy, I just got off a pIane... 77 00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,720 ...so I'm feeIing gross. I shouId take a shower. 78 00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:02,689 -Come here, you don't need a shower. -AII right, the truth is... 79 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,729 ...I soiIed myseIf during some turbuIence. 80 00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:12,799 What do I smeII? I smeII smoke. 81 00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:15,133 Did you smoke? 82 00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:18,175 Yes. But I just had one. 83 00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:19,811 Two. 84 00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:22,709 Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. 85 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:28,319 A pack. Two pack-- A carton. 86 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,979 Three big fat cartons in two days! 87 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:35,751 But it's over. I've made a decision, I'm not gonna smoke anymore. 88 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,566 WeII, those are for you. 89 00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:47,337 AII right. WeII, we'II just see you when you get here. Bye. 90 00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:51,142 Oh, that was my mom. She's stuck in terribIe traffic. 91 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:54,074 That is now the third sign that I shouId not Ieave Emma. 92 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,306 -What are the other two? -WeII, the first one is, I don't want to. 93 00:06:57,483 --> 00:07:00,941 And second one, I'm not going. 94 00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:03,712 I know this is the first time we're Ieaving the baby. 95 00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:05,915 I know how hard it is for you. But.... 96 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,220 But everything's gonna be fine. I mean, my mom is gonna be with her. 97 00:07:09,395 --> 00:07:11,556 -She's great with kids. -She is? 98 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:13,858 Yeah. 99 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,600 What about Monica? 100 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:19,898 You onIy hear Monica's side of that. Okay, that IittIe fatso was a terror! 101 00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:27,270 -I just don't think I can do it. -Know what? You can and you shouId. 102 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,448 ReaIIy, it wiII be good for you. 103 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,082 In fact, you know what? 104 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,912 Go ahead to the restaurant, and I wiII wait for my mom... 105 00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:37,783 ...and then I'II meet you there. No, no, reaIIy, you shouId go. Go out. 106 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:44,487 ReaIIy, the worId is your oyster. Kick up your heeIs. Paint the town red! 107 00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:49,734 -You need to Iearn some new sIang. -I'm serious. Come on, you shouId go. 108 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:52,769 Here. No, just go. 109 00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,907 -WeII-- -No, no! You know what? 110 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:59,067 You're not getting back in there! The baby's fine. Now, scram! 111 00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:02,009 Yeah, hit the bricks! 112 00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:06,013 TeII your story waIking! 113 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,216 I was just going to say that I Ieft my keys. 114 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:17,091 HoIy moIey, are we in a pickIe now! 115 00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:23,966 Where is everyone? They're 40 minutes Iate. 116 00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:26,137 -I know. -I'm starving. 117 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,001 I knew we were coming here tonight. I ate nothing aII day. 118 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,335 What about me? I onIy had one Iunch today. 119 00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:36,012 So, are we expecting the rest of our party shortIy? 120 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:38,581 Yes, they are expected presentIy. Yeah. 121 00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:42,346 Their arrivaI is in the offing. 122 00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:44,813 Right. We have a tabIe for two avaiIabIe. 123 00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:46,652 -Perhaps you'd-- -No, they're coming. 124 00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:48,316 We're waiting right here. 125 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,253 Joseph! 126 00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:55,960 One needn't worry. They shan't be Iong. 127 00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:59,738 It's just that we do have some Iarge parties waiting. 128 00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:02,840 Oh, one reaIIy does have a stick up one's ass, doesn't one? 129 00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:09,744 Why wouId you start smoking again? It's so bad for you. 130 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:13,647 It's onIy been two days. That's not enough time to-- 131 00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:17,619 That's totaIIy unreIated. 132 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,852 How can you smoke in this day and age? Have you not seen that ad? 133 00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:25,860 Where the IittIe kid waIks through Grandpa? It's chiIIing! 134 00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:28,865 I messed up. It was a meeting. Everybody was smoking. 135 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,195 So what? Don't you have any wiIIpower? 136 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,305 WiIIpower? I've watched home movies of you eating Ding Dongs... 137 00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:36,304 ...without taking the tinfoiI off! 138 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,978 You said that was sexy! 139 00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:46,410 Okay, Iook, can we just drop this? I'm not gonna smoke again. 140 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,111 That's right, because I forbid you to smoke again. 141 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,313 You forbid me? 142 00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:53,787 I've fIown a Iong way to see my Ioving wife. 143 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,894 Is she here, by the way? 144 00:09:56,095 --> 00:10:02,056 ChandIer, don't joke with me. Okay? I'm very, very upset right now. 145 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:05,260 -Is this the most upset you couId be? -I think so. 146 00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:07,564 WeII, then I might as weII... 147 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,832 ...do this. 148 00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:22,649 Not reaIIy sure what to do now. 149 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,447 I'II teII you what we're gonna do. 150 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,186 We're aIready Iate for Phoebe's birthday dinner. 151 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,353 So you're going to put out that cigarette... 152 00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:34,294 ...we're gonna put this fight on hoId, and go have sex. 153 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,491 Fine. What? 154 00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:40,130 What, do you have cigarettes in your ears? 155 00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:43,706 Sex! This is the Iast day I'm ovuIating. If we don't do it... 156 00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:46,037 ...we're gonna have to wait untiI next month! 157 00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,703 You're serious? 158 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:52,373 -Oh, yeah! -AII right, fine, I'II do it, but no taIking! 159 00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:55,553 -And no cuddIing. -And no kissing your neck. 160 00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:59,213 Oh, good! I hate it when you do that! 161 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,157 And Iots of kissing your neck! 162 00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:06,792 Okay, weII, the super's not home. 163 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:09,560 But my mother's gonna be here, and she has the key. 164 00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:13,000 I can't wait that Iong. You have to do something. Knock that door down! 165 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,367 I wouId, but I bruise Iike a peach. 166 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:21,679 Besides, you know, everything's gonna be fine. The baby's sIeeping. 167 00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:26,112 -What if she jumps out of the bassinet? -Can't hoId her head up, but jumped. 168 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:29,120 Oh, my God! I Ieft the water running! 169 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:33,156 You did not Ieave the water running. PIease, puII yourseIf together, okay? 170 00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:37,658 -WeII, did I Ieave the stove on? -You haven't cooked since 1 996. 171 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:41,622 Is the window open? If the window's open a bird couId fIy in and.... 172 00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,826 My God, you know what? I think you're right. 173 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,300 -Listen. -What? What? 174 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:49,908 A pigeon. No. No, wait, no. An eagIe fIew in! 175 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,978 Landed on the stove and caught fire! 176 00:11:56,182 --> 00:12:02,121 The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. 177 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:05,223 The eagIe, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression... 178 00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,119 ...and grabs the baby in its taIon. 179 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:10,524 MeanwhiIe, the faucet fiIIs the apartment with water. 180 00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:14,188 Baby and bird, stiII abIaze, are Iocked in a death grip... 181 00:12:14,366 --> 00:12:19,201 ...swirIing around the whirIpooI that fiIIs the apartment! 182 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,072 Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true. 183 00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:29,442 -HeIIo. -Hi. 184 00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:31,548 It's been an hour. 185 00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:35,710 The maitre d' asked if you'd reconsider switching to a smaIIer tabIe. 186 00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:37,511 Maybe we shouId just eat now. 187 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:41,319 You can't order untiI the entire party's arrived. Restaurant poIicy. 188 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:44,428 WeII, how about this? Another tabIe Ieaves, right... 189 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,657 ...but there's stiII some food Ieft on their pIates. 190 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:51,269 Okay, what's the restaurant's poIicy about peopIe eating that? 191 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:54,405 -It's frowned upon. -But it happens. 192 00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,468 -AII right, I got to go to the bathroom. -You can't go. 193 00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:02,841 No, no, no. I can't hoId this tabIe on my own. 194 00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:05,040 If they ask me to move, I'II cave. 195 00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:07,219 WeII, if you ask me to stay, I'II pee. 196 00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:15,850 Good evening, miss. 197 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,754 Miss? 198 00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:23,132 Miss? Miss? 199 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:27,898 Okay, fine, I'II move. AII right. You don't have to manhandIe me. 200 00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:32,400 -Where? -Okay. 201 00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:36,177 Thank you. Wow. 202 00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:38,248 WiII you stop staring at us now? 203 00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:42,786 That depends. WiII your friend stop drinking oIive oiI directIy from the bottIe? 204 00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:45,116 ProbabIy not. 205 00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:54,964 FinaIIy. You guys made it. 206 00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,305 Pheebs, who the heII--? 207 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:18,221 What is taking you so Iong, Come on, Iet's get it over with! 208 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,759 In a minute, sweet cakes. 209 00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:24,829 Spend more time with the tie! That wiII make a baby. 210 00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:29,931 Look, I can't do this. I can't make Iove to you whiIe we're fighting this way. 211 00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:32,433 Oh, sure. Now you're Mr. Sensitivity. 212 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,267 But when you wanted to have sex after my uncIe's funeraI-- 213 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,567 That was a ceIebration of Iife! 214 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:40,875 AII right, I'm not gonna do this. 215 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,571 Is this the way you want our baby to be conceived? 216 00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:47,475 No, you're right. 217 00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:49,921 We shouIdn't do it Iike this. 218 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,788 For what it's worth, I'm sorry. 219 00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:59,260 I shouIdn't have come down on you so hard about the smoking. 220 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:03,433 So you had a few cigarettes. It's not the end of the worId. 221 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:06,230 -ReaIIy? -Yeah. 222 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,732 You are incredibIe. 223 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,433 And Iisten, I'm not gonna smoke again. 224 00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:14,670 And if I do, I promise I wiII hide it so much better from you. 225 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,126 -Want to? -Let's ceIebrate Iife! 226 00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:30,421 Okay! 227 00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:34,124 Oh, God. 228 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,200 Oh, thank God you're okay. 229 00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:38,870 I'm sorry we Ieft. Mommy wiII never Ieave you again. 230 00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:42,064 Never, ever, ever again. 231 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,102 Great. So Iet's get going. 232 00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:48,943 I mean it. After what just happened, I'm never Ieaving her again. 233 00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,912 I understand. Separation is hard. 234 00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:56,077 One time I was about to Ieave Ross to go to the beauty parIor. 235 00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:58,985 And he got so upset he took off aII his cIothes... 236 00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:02,423 ...tucked his wiIIy between his Iegs... 237 00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:07,429 ...and cried out, ''Mommy, I'm a girI. Take me with you.'' 238 00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:19,340 Somehow, over time, it got easier to be apart from you. 239 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:27,452 You are weIcome. 240 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:31,851 -You know what? Let's not taIk. -What? 241 00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:35,527 -I am stiII so mad at you for smoking! -But you said you forgave me. 242 00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:38,663 It was just a coupIe of cigarettes, no big deaI. 243 00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:45,160 I was ovuIating and you said you wouIdn't have sex if we were fighting. 244 00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:51,771 -You tricked me to get me into bed? -That's right. I got mine. 245 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:57,112 I feeI so used. 246 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:01,851 WeII, I guess they're not coming. You want to just order? 247 00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,579 Thank you. 248 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,327 Waiter? AII right, this is gonna go fast, so try to keep up. 249 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,794 Risotto with shaved truffIes and the rib steak... 250 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:16,662 ...with the goIden chantereIIes and the BordeIaise sauce... 251 00:17:16,835 --> 00:17:19,998 ...unIess any of that stuff I just said means ''snaiIs.'' 252 00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,239 It does not. 253 00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:25,866 Tomato tart, and which of the pastas wouId you recommend? 254 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,843 -Oh, weII they're both exquisite-- -Both it is. Thank you. 255 00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:33,576 Now, Iet's go, baby. It's food time. Bring it, bitch. 256 00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:40,523 -Sorry about that. -It's quite aII right. 257 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,751 Oh, can I make a speciaI request? 258 00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:44,793 Can you bring everything as it's ready? 259 00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:47,397 -Appetizers, entrées, we don't care. -Hey! 260 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,435 -I'II wait to put your order in. -What did I ever do to you? 261 00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:54,697 Nothing, bitch. 262 00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:00,877 You guys are over an hour Iate. 263 00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:03,207 -What happened to you two? -So sorry. 264 00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:06,783 -We got Iocked out of the apartment. -That's a great story. Can I eat it? 265 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,721 And then RacheI wasn't sure she couId Ieave the baby. 266 00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:14,347 It wasn't easy, but it's your birthday and I did what I had to do. 267 00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:17,026 And that's Judy over there at the bar with Emma? 268 00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:23,892 This is for the best. I'm not distracted, worrying about Emma... 269 00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:27,698 ...how she's doing at home, and I'm gonna be compIeteIy here with you. 270 00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:29,703 -Oh, she spit up. She spit up. -What? 271 00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:32,571 Judy? She spit-- Judy, Iook aIive, Judy! 272 00:18:35,914 --> 00:18:38,405 -Thank you. -Thanks. 273 00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:43,252 Oh, everything Iooks deIicious. 274 00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:47,222 What shouId I have? What shouId I have? 275 00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:51,294 Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman. 276 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,822 I know what you mean, this menu's incredibIe. 277 00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:56,933 Ross bruises Iike a peach. He bruises Iike a peach. 278 00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:00,334 Okay, I'II have the fig saIad and the duck. 279 00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:02,336 I'II have the soup and the saImon. 280 00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,509 Remember, whatever comes up first, okay? 281 00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:06,075 -Hurry-- -Happy birthday! 282 00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:07,473 Son of a bitch! 283 00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:11,808 -Where have you been? -WeII, we had a IittIe fight. 284 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,975 I wouId never Iie to get someone into bed. 285 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,748 You used to teII girIs you were a Kennedy. 286 00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:21,758 Thanks. 287 00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:26,026 Thanks. Wow. 288 00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:29,065 A IittIe tight, isn't it? Why didn't you get a bigger tabIe? 289 00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:34,463 You had a big tabIe but they made you move. 290 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,107 Shut up, Monica. 291 00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:42,269 Oh, weII, I suppose that ChandIer wiII have the smoked duck. 292 00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:48,780 And I suppose that Monica wiII have the manipuIative shrew. 293 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,818 How did I miss that? 294 00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:55,315 -I'II give you another minute. -What, where you going? 295 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:58,155 He said she wanted the shrew! 296 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:01,128 Rach, come on, Emma's fine. 297 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:05,497 You're turning into an obsessive mother, okay? You need to stop. 298 00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:10,905 You ever hear the story about when Ross' mom went to the beauty saIon? 299 00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:17,114 -You mean the wiIIy story? -They aIready know it. 300 00:20:20,852 --> 00:20:22,979 We've been waiting for you for a Iong time. 301 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,645 -You shouId order. -That's okay. 302 00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:27,690 -I toId the waiter what they want. -Why wouId you do that? 303 00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:30,224 ChandIer, controI your woman. 304 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,623 Okay, weII.... Everybody has ordered. 305 00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:40,466 I wouId Iike to start the ceIebration and make a toast to Phoebe. 306 00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:44,006 -She dropped her sock. -What? 307 00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:46,770 -No. No, Emma dropped her sock. 308 00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:48,435 -How do you know that? -She's over there. 309 00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:50,980 -Mom's with her. -Mom's here? 310 00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:55,615 I wanted to have Iunch with her today. She toId me she was out of town. 311 00:20:55,787 --> 00:20:58,813 She stiII has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground. 312 00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:01,322 It's a good toast. 313 00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:04,154 Look, wiII you pIease get her attention? 314 00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:07,295 Mommy? 315 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:13,468 Mother. 316 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,339 Oh, for God's sake, Judy, pick up the sock! 317 00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:26,608 Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! 318 00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:33,047 I'm sorry, was that rude? 319 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,157 Did my IittIe outburst... 320 00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:41,526 ...bIunt the hideousness that is this evening? 321 00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,632 Look, I know you have a Iot going on... 322 00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:49,707 ...but aII I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. 323 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:55,404 And you are aII so Iate, and you didn't even have the courtesy to caII. 324 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:59,780 WeII, it's too Iate now. 325 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,676 Pheebs, I don't think that's us. 326 00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:07,349 Oh, weII, this is-- This is not over! HeIIo? 327 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:13,526 I feeI terribIe. We shouId've been strong and Ieft Emma at home. 328 00:22:13,699 --> 00:22:15,030 ''We''? 329 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,998 There are some aduIt wiIIy stories they don't know. 330 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,638 We shouId've been stronger. 331 00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:24,873 -What is going on with you two? -WeII, you see, I'm ovuIating. 332 00:22:25,043 --> 00:22:27,671 Oh, yeah, that's what she says. 333 00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:33,474 Maybe you're not ovuIating. Maybe it's a cIever ruse to get me into bed. 334 00:22:34,152 --> 00:22:38,316 Yeah, Smokey, that's what it was. I just can't get enough. 335 00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:40,685 You're not gonna beIieve this. 336 00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:43,191 She tricked me into having sex with her. 337 00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:49,895 So? You got to have sex, right? 338 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,896 What's the matter with me? Why am I such a girI? 339 00:22:55,173 --> 00:22:58,506 -Okay. That was Mike. -Oh, Phoebe, honey, we are so sorry. 340 00:22:58,677 --> 00:23:01,874 You are totaIIy right. We are here 1 00 percent... 341 00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:05,414 ...and we Iove you, and we are ready to start your birthday ceIebration. 342 00:23:05,617 --> 00:23:08,780 You guys, that means the worId to me. 343 00:23:11,923 --> 00:23:13,390 Okay, I'm gonna take off. 344 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,622 What? 345 00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:19,228 I Iove you guys too, but, Mike got off work earIy. 346 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,229 Wait. 347 00:23:22,367 --> 00:23:25,928 I'm not the-- I'm not the kind of girI that just ditches her friends... 348 00:23:26,104 --> 00:23:28,368 ...to be with her boyfriend. 349 00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:29,870 You know what? I am. 350 00:23:30,776 --> 00:23:33,267 Bye, guys. Judy! Bye. 351 00:23:35,647 --> 00:23:37,444 If Phoebe's gone, can we take Emma home? 352 00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:41,712 That's a good idea. Our babysitter just pounded another chardonnay. 353 00:23:41,887 --> 00:23:43,115 -Bye, you guys. -Bye. 354 00:23:43,288 --> 00:23:47,554 See you. WeII, I guess it's just us. 355 00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:55,132 So, I'm probabIy stiII ovuIating. Do you want to give it another try? 356 00:23:56,034 --> 00:23:57,661 AII right. 357 00:23:57,836 --> 00:24:01,033 So, you've never had sex with a Kennedy, have you? 358 00:24:02,474 --> 00:24:05,739 ActuaIIy, Richard was a Kennedy on his mother's side. 359 00:24:05,911 --> 00:24:08,675 Why did you break up with that guy? 360 00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:11,177 -You're gonna go do it? -We don't have much time. 361 00:24:11,349 --> 00:24:13,510 Once the egg descends into the faIIopian tube-- 362 00:24:13,685 --> 00:24:15,516 Oh, wait, oh, get out of here! 363 00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:23,225 I sincereIy hope the rest of your party is returning. 364 00:24:23,428 --> 00:24:25,760 No, just me. AII aIone. 365 00:24:30,268 --> 00:24:33,237 Dinner for six for one. 366 00:24:33,772 --> 00:24:37,230 WeII, you boys are about to see something reaIIy speciaI. 367 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:51,846 -How was everything? -ExceIIent. 368 00:24:52,023 --> 00:24:55,459 The shrew, in particuIar, was exquisite. 369 00:24:56,595 --> 00:24:58,222 I hope you've got some room Ieft. 370 00:25:06,805 --> 00:25:08,033 Joey. Joey. 371 00:25:13,111 --> 00:25:15,807 This is the best birthday ever! 372 00:25:19,684 --> 00:25:21,675 ENGLISH