1 00:00:03,162 --> 00:00:07,333 Phoebe. Will you check out that guy by the window. Wow! 2 00:00:07,542 --> 00:00:12,338 That guy back there? He's awfully short. And I think he's talking to himself. 3 00:00:12,505 --> 00:00:15,299 And to be completely honest, he's not that good in bed. 4 00:00:16,718 --> 00:00:18,344 Really? 5 00:00:18,970 --> 00:00:22,890 What is wrong with me lately? It's like, every guy I see. 6 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:25,059 I mean, look at that guy, for example. 7 00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:28,229 That's not someone I would be attracted to. 8 00:00:28,521 --> 00:00:30,481 But right now, with the way I'm feeling.. 9 00:00:30,648 --> 00:00:34,902 all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack. 10 00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:39,240 Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right? 11 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,409 -Yeah. -This is completely normal. 12 00:00:41,576 --> 00:00:43,995 Around the fourth month, your hormones start going crazy. 13 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:47,457 -Really? So this has happened to you? -Absolutely! 14 00:00:47,749 --> 00:00:49,959 And keep in mind now, I was carrying triplets. 15 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:54,589 So in medical terms, I was thrice as randy. 16 00:00:54,964 --> 00:00:57,425 Wow, this explains so much! 17 00:00:57,717 --> 00:01:02,513 Last weekend, I went from store to store, sitting on Santas' laps. 18 00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,726 Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout.. 19 00:01:06,893 --> 00:01:09,937 of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker. 20 00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:14,525 Well, I go see my doctor tomorrow. I'll ask her about this. 21 00:01:14,692 --> 00:01:16,611 Maybe she can give me a pill or something. 22 00:01:16,778 --> 00:01:19,280 Yeah, that's what you need. A good pill. 23 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:26,954 Oh, no. Short, crazy guy recognizes me. Worst mistake of my life. 24 00:01:28,915 --> 00:01:30,124 Call me. 25 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,626 I got our pictures developed from Rockefeller Center. 26 00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:17,171 Great. Hey, Joey, want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice-skating? 27 00:02:18,714 --> 00:02:23,636 Ordinarily, I would love to, but I am just swamped right now. 28 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:31,644 Where are the pictures that that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together? 29 00:02:31,894 --> 00:02:34,355 Oh, yeah. Probably at the end. 30 00:02:34,647 --> 00:02:38,776 Oh, my God! All he took were pictures of my breasts. 31 00:02:38,985 --> 00:02:40,653 I'm missing picture time! 32 00:02:45,825 --> 00:02:48,995 You know, she has a face, Ross. 33 00:02:50,121 --> 00:02:54,333 I didn't take these, okay? I didn't even know my camera had a zoom lens. 34 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,502 "Comma, officer." 35 00:02:57,003 --> 00:03:01,507 -Okay, here's a good one of us. -Wow, that is a good one! 36 00:03:01,757 --> 00:03:03,509 It looks like a holiday card. 37 00:03:03,718 --> 00:03:07,805 With the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow. 38 00:03:07,972 --> 00:03:10,433 Good job, pretzel pervert. 39 00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:13,894 Every year, I say I'm gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. 40 00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,606 Do you want to send this one out together? 41 00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:24,238 Together? Like, to people? 42 00:03:24,488 --> 00:03:28,951 Yeah. "Happy holidays, from Mona and Ross." It'll be cute, okay? 43 00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:31,037 Okay. 44 00:03:31,329 --> 00:03:34,040 -I gotta get to work. Call me later? -Sure, sure. 45 00:03:34,332 --> 00:03:36,459 -Bye, guys. -Bye. 46 00:03:39,045 --> 00:03:42,006 Congratulations! You just got married! 47 00:03:43,007 --> 00:03:44,925 I know. Can you believe that? 48 00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:48,012 I'm sorry. What's the big deal about a holiday card? 49 00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:51,682 Married couples send out cards. Families send out cards. 50 00:03:51,933 --> 00:03:55,311 People who have been dating for a couple of months don't send out cards. 51 00:03:55,478 --> 00:03:58,939 -What is she, crazy? -That's your wife you're talking about! 52 00:04:00,691 --> 00:04:04,028 No, really. I mean, that would be like a huge step forward. 53 00:04:04,195 --> 00:04:06,447 I like things just the way they are. 54 00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:09,408 I'm finally in a relationship that's not moving too fast. 55 00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:13,412 You know, ordinarily, I'd be divorced by now. 56 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:17,458 Okay, so just tell her you don't wanna send out the card. What's she gonna do? 57 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:18,918 This. 58 00:04:19,085 --> 00:04:22,963 Oh, okay. I didn't mean to put pressure on you.. 59 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:26,258 I just thought it would be something fun for us to do together.. 60 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:29,303 but okay, that's okay. 61 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:36,602 Okay, stop. Stop. You're right, it's not that big a deal. I'll do the card. 62 00:04:39,814 --> 00:04:43,442 -What? I said I'd do it. -I know, it's just.. 63 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,444 Can I have $20? 64 00:04:53,995 --> 00:04:58,374 -Hi. You ready for lunch? -One second. 65 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:06,382 -That's cute. -Bing! And the Bingette! 66 00:05:06,549 --> 00:05:09,260 I thought it felt a little hotter in the office today. 67 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:13,681 -Oh, honey, you remember my boss, Doug. -Yes. Hi. 68 00:05:13,848 --> 00:05:17,101 Good news! The divorce is final. I signed the papers this a.m. 69 00:05:17,309 --> 00:05:19,645 I didn't know you and Kara divorced. I'm sorry. 70 00:05:19,854 --> 00:05:23,149 Sorry? I finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. 71 00:05:24,984 --> 00:05:28,988 -Congratulations to you guys, though. -No leg-chewing for us, sir. 72 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,615 Well, give it time. 73 00:05:32,074 --> 00:05:36,162 So the divorce, the marriage, we got a lot to celebrate. 74 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:39,123 How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night. 75 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:42,001 I can't think of anything we're doing. 76 00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:45,087 Why can't I think of anything we're doing? 77 00:05:45,296 --> 00:05:47,840 Tomorrow night it is. I should be out of court by 6. 78 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:50,426 They keep throwing sexual harassment cases at me.. 79 00:05:50,593 --> 00:05:53,345 and I keep knocking them out of the park! 80 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,681 Okay, see you tomorrow. 81 00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:58,517 Just so you know, we're not seeing him tomorrow. 82 00:05:59,518 --> 00:06:02,146 Honey, once you get to know him, he's much, much worse. 83 00:06:02,313 --> 00:06:03,731 I can't do this alone. 84 00:06:04,273 --> 00:06:08,360 Honey, I'm sorry. I can't help you. I can't spend another evening with that man. 85 00:06:08,527 --> 00:06:11,238 Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding? 86 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,657 That's because he wasn't invited. 87 00:06:13,866 --> 00:06:16,452 Because of the way he behaved at our engagement party. 88 00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:20,873 Oh, yeah! Urine cuts right through an ice sculpture, doesn't it? 89 00:06:35,679 --> 00:06:37,890 Oh, what the hell? B plus. 90 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:47,399 Hi! I went by the photo shop. Take a look. 91 00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:50,110 Here is a mockup of our card. What do you think? 92 00:06:53,739 --> 00:06:55,324 Wow, that's great. 93 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:59,036 Do you think it should say, "Love, Ross and Mona"? 94 00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:03,499 Well, we haven't said that to each other yet.. 95 00:07:04,375 --> 00:07:07,545 but I guess it's okay to say it to other people. 96 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:11,841 -How many did you want? I'll get 100. -A hundred? 97 00:07:14,093 --> 00:07:17,388 Well, I guess I'll take.. 98 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,598 Mona? 99 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:25,771 I'm not sure about the whole card thing. 100 00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:27,439 Really? Why not? 101 00:07:28,274 --> 00:07:32,152 Sending out a holiday card together? 102 00:07:32,444 --> 00:07:37,116 I just don't know if we're really quite there yet. 103 00:07:37,992 --> 00:07:41,245 I didn't think of it that way. You're right. 104 00:07:45,916 --> 00:07:48,085 -So can I ask you a question? -Yeah. 105 00:07:48,252 --> 00:07:50,087 Where are we? 106 00:07:51,964 --> 00:07:56,051 You know, where are we? Where is this relationship going? 107 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:06,896 I love spending time with you. I just hope we're moving forward. 108 00:08:07,104 --> 00:08:10,441 We should talk about that, don't you think? 109 00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:20,242 Let's do the card! 110 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:25,623 -What? -The card! I think we're there! 111 00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:29,460 Okay. But I still think we should have this conversation. 112 00:08:29,668 --> 00:08:31,503 Really? 113 00:08:31,754 --> 00:08:34,757 Even with the card? 114 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:45,267 Just so you know, Dr. Long can't be here today, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you. 115 00:08:45,517 --> 00:08:48,854 Oh, okay. Can I ask you a question? 116 00:08:49,104 --> 00:08:53,651 Was it me, or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? 117 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:58,447 You know who I'm talking about? Bowl haircut, hairy fingers? 118 00:09:00,199 --> 00:09:03,118 Actually, never mind. I just answered my own question. 119 00:09:03,702 --> 00:09:08,582 -Hi, Rachel? I'm Dr. Schiff. -Yes, you are. 120 00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:12,419 -Okay, now he's cute, right? -Oh, God, yes. 121 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,047 So, how's it going? 122 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:18,884 It's going really good. But enough about me! Come on. 123 00:09:19,134 --> 00:09:21,428 Where are you from? What do you do? 124 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:25,599 -I'm a doctor. -Right. I meant.. 125 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,769 in your spare time. Do you cook? So you ski? 126 00:09:29,061 --> 00:09:32,231 Or just hang out with your wife, or girlfriend? 127 00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:35,734 I don't have a wife or a girlfriend, but I do like to ski. 128 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:40,197 I love to ski! How amazing is this? 129 00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:45,411 -Are you experiencing any discomfort? -No, I'm very comfortable. 130 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:49,206 -Any painful gas? -No! 131 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:54,753 Dr. Schiff! What kind of question is that? 132 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:58,424 Okay, then. Would you like to lie down on the table? 133 00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:01,427 Would you like me to lie down on the table? 134 00:10:02,594 --> 00:10:06,056 -Is there something going on here? -Do you feel it too? 135 00:10:10,519 --> 00:10:14,273 -Hi. -How did your doctor's appointment go? 136 00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:18,610 Well, let's see, they gave me "cute boy" doctor today. 137 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:22,990 In the middle of the exam, I put my pinkie in his chin dimple. 138 00:10:23,282 --> 00:10:26,493 -Oh, my God! -Why did you do that? 139 00:10:26,744 --> 00:10:30,664 Remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy? 140 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:33,625 Oh, yeah! The Evander Holyfield phase. 141 00:10:33,876 --> 00:10:38,047 Oh, man! You were so hard up, you practically came on to me. 142 00:10:38,297 --> 00:10:40,507 You wish. 143 00:10:40,966 --> 00:10:42,885 Hey, I could have had you if I wanted you. 144 00:10:44,178 --> 00:10:46,805 Oh, yeah? Come and get it. 145 00:10:47,806 --> 00:10:52,478 Okay, even this is turning me on. You guys, I got problems. 146 00:10:54,229 --> 00:10:58,442 Oh, hey. Hey, Ross! How's it going with you and Mona? 147 00:10:58,609 --> 00:11:00,903 Are you guys still together? 148 00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:05,824 Yeah, we're moving forward. You'll be getting our card. 149 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,786 You're doing a holiday card? 150 00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:12,331 We're not just doing a card. She also wants to have the conversation.. 151 00:11:12,498 --> 00:11:14,500 about where the relationship is going. 152 00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:16,710 Women! 153 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:21,090 I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation? 154 00:11:21,256 --> 00:11:24,927 No self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So where is this going?" 155 00:11:25,177 --> 00:11:26,887 Ross, you asked me that. 156 00:11:27,096 --> 00:11:32,017 You were a closed book, okay? I'm not a mind reader! 157 00:11:33,185 --> 00:11:36,313 What are you gonna say to her? Where is this relationship going? 158 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,859 I don't know. I really like her and I wanna keep dating her. 159 00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:43,278 -So tell her that. -No, I can't. 160 00:11:43,445 --> 00:11:46,532 Because then she's gonna say, "Well, it's not moving anywhere.. 161 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:49,785 -then we should just break up." -Yeah, that's true. 162 00:11:51,161 --> 00:11:56,708 Besides, I hate those conversations. I'm horrible at them. Really. 163 00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:59,586 Maybe I need some kind of a gesture.. 164 00:11:59,837 --> 00:12:03,340 something that says we're moving forward without having to talk about it. 165 00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:06,051 Like asking her to move in with you? 166 00:12:06,301 --> 00:12:08,262 Smaller than that. 167 00:12:08,637 --> 00:12:12,015 -Making her a mix tape? -Bigger than that. 168 00:12:12,266 --> 00:12:17,271 -Give her a key to your apartment. -We were closer with the mix tape. 169 00:12:17,521 --> 00:12:19,940 Have you said, "I love you"? You could say, "I love you." 170 00:12:20,149 --> 00:12:23,152 I don't think I'm quite there yet. 171 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,905 But I could say, "I love spending time with you." 172 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,741 -We hate that. -That is a slap in the face. 173 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:34,830 Forget it. You know what? I'll just have the conversation. 174 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:40,210 I'll just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. 175 00:12:40,752 --> 00:12:42,546 What do you think, Rach? 176 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:46,049 I think if it was a little colder in here.. 177 00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:48,886 I could see your nipples through that sweater. 178 00:12:53,348 --> 00:12:56,935 Bing? We're all set for tonight, 8:00. 179 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,771 As it turns out, we can't do it. Monica has to work. 180 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,566 My ex-wife didn't work. 181 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:06,278 Unless you call turning into her mother "work." 182 00:13:07,404 --> 00:13:09,948 Fine. Tomorrow night then. 183 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:13,911 -Tomorrow's no good for her, either. -Why not? 184 00:13:15,078 --> 00:13:17,164 It's the semifinals.. 185 00:13:17,414 --> 00:13:21,668 of her bocce ball tournament. 186 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,962 Okay. The night after that then. 187 00:13:24,129 --> 00:13:27,799 Well, that's the finals, and I think she's gonna go all the way, sir. 188 00:13:28,717 --> 00:13:34,973 What's going on, Bing? Does your wife have a problem with me or something? 189 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:37,809 Well, now you're just talking crazy. 190 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,812 Then why can't the three of us go out together? 191 00:13:41,063 --> 00:13:44,149 Because we split up. 192 00:13:44,441 --> 00:13:46,485 Monica and I split up. 193 00:13:47,069 --> 00:13:48,654 Hold me. 194 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:54,660 Good God, Bing. Well, I can't say I'm altogether surprised. 195 00:13:54,868 --> 00:14:00,040 I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. 196 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:05,045 And the way she looked at me, pure lust. 197 00:14:05,295 --> 00:14:09,800 What would really help me through this tough time is choking someone. 198 00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:13,136 I know how you feel. Oh, yeah. 199 00:14:13,303 --> 00:14:15,514 I know what it's like to give a woman all your love.. 200 00:14:15,681 --> 00:14:18,350 and then have that love thrown back in your face. 201 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:23,939 And then the court decides to give you custody of those fat, left-handed twins. 202 00:14:26,149 --> 00:14:29,194 Well, they're lucky to have you, sir. 203 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:33,031 Bing, my boy, we're gonna get you over this. 204 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,868 Here's the plan: Grab your coat, we're going to a strip club! 205 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:40,080 Oh, no! Monica would freak. 206 00:14:40,455 --> 00:14:43,625 But to hell with that bitch! 207 00:14:46,336 --> 00:14:48,630 Here we go. 208 00:14:49,464 --> 00:14:55,804 Mona, it's time we had a conversation about where things are with us. 209 00:14:56,054 --> 00:14:59,683 Yeah, I think I suggested that. 210 00:15:00,309 --> 00:15:02,561 We are so.. 211 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:13,447 Well, I really like you. And I love hanging out with you. 212 00:15:13,697 --> 00:15:17,909 And I'm having a lot of fun. 213 00:15:22,497 --> 00:15:24,082 Okay. 214 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:29,087 There's no point in spending time with someone if it's just fun. 215 00:15:29,338 --> 00:15:33,467 It's gotta be going somewhere, right? 216 00:15:33,717 --> 00:15:36,803 So where is it going? 217 00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:45,854 That's the real question. 218 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:52,027 And the answer is.. 219 00:15:52,235 --> 00:15:55,781 it's going somewhere.. 220 00:15:56,031 --> 00:15:58,283 fun. 221 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:04,623 I know what you're thinking. Fun was fine for you 10 years ago. 222 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:08,293 But you're not getting any younger. 223 00:16:08,502 --> 00:16:11,213 No! I mean, not you. Not you. 224 00:16:11,421 --> 00:16:14,341 You are getting younger! 225 00:16:14,633 --> 00:16:20,138 You're getting younger by the second. What's your secret? 226 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:25,644 I'm sorry, so where are we? 227 00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:28,313 Well, to sum up.. 228 00:16:31,733 --> 00:16:37,155 we're having fun. You look young. 229 00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:43,787 -Okay.. -But that's not enough. 230 00:16:46,581 --> 00:16:48,959 So.. 231 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:55,674 here's a key to my apartment. 232 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,885 -Really? -Really. 233 00:17:00,554 --> 00:17:03,181 You don't think this is too fast? 234 00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:08,687 You gave her a key to your apartment? 235 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:13,608 Not just a key. I gave her the only key! 236 00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:19,614 I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship! 237 00:17:21,032 --> 00:17:25,287 -Why did you give her a key? -She talked me into a corner, okay? 238 00:17:25,454 --> 00:17:29,040 She's like this conversational wizard. 239 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:33,211 So you had the conversation you didn't wanna have.. 240 00:17:33,378 --> 00:17:36,256 and you made the gesture you didn't wanna make. 241 00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:40,719 Did I start this by saying, "Hey, I did something awesome today"? 242 00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:45,140 -Do either of you have a key to my place? -I don't think you've ever given us keys. 243 00:17:45,307 --> 00:17:47,058 Yeah, why would I? It's my home. 244 00:17:50,312 --> 00:17:54,983 -Ross, how did the conversation go? -Great. I live on the street. 245 00:17:55,525 --> 00:17:57,277 Where? 246 00:17:59,029 --> 00:18:01,281 -Hi. -Okay, Monica, Rachel.. 247 00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:04,242 -this is my friend Roger. -Hi, Roger. 248 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:08,413 I'll get us some drinks. Could you help me? 249 00:18:08,663 --> 00:18:11,041 Yeah, okay. 250 00:18:16,338 --> 00:18:19,090 He's here to have sex with you. 251 00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,222 -What? -You're welcome. 252 00:18:26,389 --> 00:18:29,935 -Phoebe, no! -It's okay. He's a virgin. 253 00:18:34,648 --> 00:18:39,444 Rachel, I was talking to this guy. I think he'll have sex with you. 254 00:18:40,403 --> 00:18:42,197 Let's leave these two alone. 255 00:18:42,447 --> 00:18:47,994 No! I don't care what my hormones are doing! I won't do it with some random guy! 256 00:18:48,453 --> 00:18:52,374 Fine! Then you tell Roger, because he was really looking forward to this! 257 00:19:09,558 --> 00:19:13,645 Bing! Look at those twin sisters dancing together. 258 00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:17,816 Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. 259 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:22,320 That's all right, sir. And that's just one girl. 260 00:19:23,113 --> 00:19:26,616 -Bing, what's this? -It's a hand. 261 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,119 It's a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder. 262 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:34,457 It's a wedding ring. Get rid of it. We'll throw it in the East River! 263 00:19:34,666 --> 00:19:36,084 -No! -Yes! 264 00:19:36,293 --> 00:19:41,298 I did it, and I felt a lot better! You might even hit a seagull in the head. 265 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:47,137 Okay. I'm gonna need a bunch of extra keys. 266 00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:50,473 Apparently, I give them away for no reason at all. 267 00:19:53,101 --> 00:19:56,479 Ross, what's going on? You're changing the lock? 268 00:19:56,646 --> 00:19:58,023 No. 269 00:19:58,189 --> 00:20:00,150 That guy is. 270 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:04,654 You give me a key to your apartment, and then you change the lock? 271 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:08,116 Good luck, buddy. 272 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:16,875 I thought we were moving forward. Now you're sending me all these mixed signals. 273 00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:18,960 What are you trying to tell me? 274 00:20:20,503 --> 00:20:23,798 I'm trying to tell you.. 275 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:27,385 I made you a mix tape. 276 00:20:28,803 --> 00:20:31,389 -What? -I love you. 277 00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:40,065 And I love spending time with you. 278 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:50,700 -Hi, honey, I'm home. -From the tequila factory? 279 00:20:51,701 --> 00:20:53,036 It was awful. 280 00:20:53,203 --> 00:20:56,539 To get out of going to dinner with Doug, I told him you and I split up. 281 00:20:56,748 --> 00:20:59,709 So then he took me to these strip clubs and sleazy bars. 282 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:04,714 When I wouldn't give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird. 283 00:21:05,340 --> 00:21:09,094 Come here. I can breathe through my mouth. 284 00:21:09,594 --> 00:21:12,389 -Oh, sweetie. -You know what the worst part was? 285 00:21:12,555 --> 00:21:14,975 I got to see what my life would be like without you. 286 00:21:15,809 --> 00:21:19,604 It was like It's a Wonderful Life with lap dances. 287 00:21:21,564 --> 00:21:24,484 Please promise me that you'll never leave me.. 288 00:21:24,776 --> 00:21:29,447 that we'll grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives. 289 00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:31,408 I promise. 290 00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:37,163 Speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year? 291 00:21:37,414 --> 00:21:40,083 I don't know if we're there yet. 292 00:21:43,586 --> 00:21:47,173 I'd like to order a pizza. Can I ask you a question? 293 00:21:47,424 --> 00:21:52,929 Is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very "Abercrombie & Fitch." 294 00:21:53,138 --> 00:21:55,682 -I'll call you back. -Who was that? 295 00:21:55,932 --> 00:22:00,145 -It's just the pizza place. -You hung up on the pizza place? 296 00:22:00,395 --> 00:22:03,356 I don't hang up on your friends. 297 00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:07,027 -Sorry, honey, I'm just having a rough day. -What's wrong? 298 00:22:07,318 --> 00:22:11,448 -You don't want to hear about it. -Then why did I ask? 299 00:22:11,698 --> 00:22:16,619 Okay, this is really embarrassing, but lately, with this whole pregnancy thing.. 300 00:22:16,870 --> 00:22:20,331 I'm just finding myself.. 301 00:22:20,623 --> 00:22:22,834 How do I put this? 302 00:22:23,835 --> 00:22:25,837 Erotically charged. 303 00:22:27,047 --> 00:22:30,717 Is that college talk for "horny"? 304 00:22:31,426 --> 00:22:36,639 Yeah. I have all of these feelings, and I don't know what to do about them. 305 00:22:36,848 --> 00:22:41,019 I can't date like a normal person, which is fine because I don't need a relationship. 306 00:22:41,227 --> 00:22:45,065 All I really want is one great night! Just sex. 307 00:22:45,356 --> 00:22:47,942 No strings attached. No relationship. 308 00:22:48,193 --> 00:22:52,697 With someone I feel comfortable with, and who knows what he's doing. 309 00:22:52,989 --> 00:22:58,578 For just one great night. I mean, is that really so hard.. 310 00:22:59,913 --> 00:23:02,207 to find? 311 00:23:07,086 --> 00:23:09,047 So how was your day? 312 00:23:09,255 --> 00:23:13,551 Good. I saw a pretty big pigeon. 313 00:23:18,264 --> 00:23:21,392 Well, I gotta get up early, and it's almost 7:00. 314 00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:24,020 -I gotta go to my room. -Good night! 315 00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:26,231 Good night! 316 00:23:28,983 --> 00:23:31,569 -I can't do it! -I didn't ask you to do it! 317 00:23:31,778 --> 00:23:33,196 -You're Rachel! -You're Joey! 318 00:23:33,363 --> 00:23:35,073 -You're my friend! -Right back at you. 319 00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:39,577 Yeah. Plus, it would be wrong, and weird and bad! 320 00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:43,706 So bad! But I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't ask you to do anything! 321 00:23:43,915 --> 00:23:45,583 I know! 322 00:23:54,592 --> 00:23:56,010 -You wanna do it? -No! 323 00:23:56,219 --> 00:24:00,056 -I'm just testing you! -Well, that's the end of this conversation! 324 00:24:00,223 --> 00:24:02,600 -This conversation never happened! -Never happened! 325 00:24:02,767 --> 00:24:05,061 -Good night! -Good night! 326 00:24:11,151 --> 00:24:12,777 Get back in there! 327 00:24:20,577 --> 00:24:24,372 Listen, I'm sorry about that whole thing with Roger. 328 00:24:24,539 --> 00:24:27,417 It really wasn't right. And I want to make it up to you. 329 00:24:27,584 --> 00:24:32,797 So I brought you something I think you'll really enjoy. 330 00:24:40,346 --> 00:24:45,810 Now this is just a loan, okay? I'm gonna want him back. 331 00:24:46,853 --> 00:24:48,897 I'm gonna go now. 332 00:24:53,234 --> 00:24:56,070 I'm sorry. I thought I could do it, and I can't.