1
00:00:01,446 --> 00:00:05,382
I think I'II go with the chicken piccata
instead of the Cornish game hen.

2
00:00:05,551 --> 00:00:08,384
WiII there be a vegetarian option,
you know, for me?

3
00:00:08,687 --> 00:00:10,154
Yes. DefiniteIy.

4
00:00:10,322 --> 00:00:11,311
What is it?

5
00:00:11,790 --> 00:00:12,916
Dancing.

6
00:00:15,694 --> 00:00:16,991
-Hey.
-Hey.

7
00:00:17,162 --> 00:00:19,653
I saw the Porsche parked out front.

8
00:00:19,831 --> 00:00:23,358
Can I get the keys?
Thought I'd take that bad boy for a spin.

9
00:00:23,535 --> 00:00:28,438
Ross drives it? When I ask, you say
you're the onIy one aIIowed to drive it.

10
00:00:28,607 --> 00:00:32,065
He's my brother, pIus he drives
so sIow he couId never hurt it.

11
00:00:32,244 --> 00:00:34,974
It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship.

12
00:00:35,581 --> 00:00:39,642
Just repIace the buIbs in the
brake Iights after you're done.

13
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:43,019
-Hey.
-Hi.

14
00:00:43,188 --> 00:00:47,591
Saw the Porsche. Looking good.
When can I take it out again?

15
00:00:50,829 --> 00:00:55,357
-You Iet Joey drive it?
-I've never driven it. Not once.

16
00:00:55,534 --> 00:00:58,526
Okay, once.
Okay, I drive it aII the time.

17
00:01:01,006 --> 00:01:05,033
So much for the ''you-can-drive-it
but-don't-teII-RacheI'' pIan.

18
00:01:06,244 --> 00:01:08,212
Wow, I can't beIieve you Iied to me.

19
00:01:08,380 --> 00:01:13,340
I can fi<i>x</i> this. Monica, RacheI thinks
aII you taIk about is the wedding.

20
00:01:16,221 --> 00:01:19,622
There. I've bIown both your secrets.
Now we're even.

21
00:01:21,393 --> 00:01:26,194
I won't Iet you drive the Porsche
because you're a terribIe driver.

22
00:01:26,365 --> 00:01:28,833
There. That wasn't about the wedding.

23
00:01:30,502 --> 00:01:35,269
If you want a ride in the Porsche,
I'II take you around the bIock.

24
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:36,964
You got a coupIe hours?

25
00:01:38,710 --> 00:01:40,871
The One With ChandIer's Dad

26
00:02:16,481 --> 00:02:19,143
Whew, that was a brisk ride.

27
00:02:20,652 --> 00:02:24,850
-Take the top down, did you?
-OnIy way to fIy.

28
00:02:25,023 --> 00:02:29,756
Give me the keys. Monica's wrong.
I'm an e<i>x</i>ceIIent driver.

29
00:02:29,928 --> 00:02:34,024
You're fast and irresponsibIe.
That adds up to a bad driver.

30
00:02:34,199 --> 00:02:37,794
In high schooI, that added up
to head cheerIeader.

31
00:02:41,873 --> 00:02:45,365
Did you see the Iook
that girI just gave me?

32
00:02:45,677 --> 00:02:48,305
She must've seen me cruising
in the bad boy.

33
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,916
-She's checking out your beehive.
-What?

34
00:02:52,918 --> 00:02:54,943
-Give me a brush.
-The keys.

35
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,747
-No way!
-WeII, no brush.

36
00:02:56,922 --> 00:02:58,787
Fine. It doesn't matter.

37
00:02:58,957 --> 00:03:03,792
If I remember correctIy, there's
a comb on the fIoor of the bathroom.

38
00:03:20,078 --> 00:03:21,067
AIimony.

39
00:03:25,317 --> 00:03:28,684
We stiII haven't gotten
an RSVP from your dad.

40
00:03:28,854 --> 00:03:33,416
Oh, right. Maybe that's because I
didn't send him an invitation.

41
00:03:34,192 --> 00:03:35,181
Why not?

42
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:39,126
An invitation?
That's Iike aImost asking him to come.

43
00:03:40,031 --> 00:03:43,330
He's your father.
He shouId be at our wedding.

44
00:03:43,502 --> 00:03:46,335
I was gonna send him an invite
but then I saw the stamp.

45
00:03:46,505 --> 00:03:50,202
It was one of those MariIyn Monroe stamps
and I thought:

46
00:03:50,375 --> 00:03:52,741
My dad has that dress.

47
00:03:53,245 --> 00:03:57,682
Wow. That must be a very different view
when he stands over an air vent.

48
00:03:58,517 --> 00:04:01,884
You shouId see him singing
''Happy Birthday, Mr. President.''

49
00:04:02,687 --> 00:04:04,052
We have to invite him.

50
00:04:04,222 --> 00:04:08,215
I don't even know the man.
I haven't seen him in years.

51
00:04:08,393 --> 00:04:10,918
And when he finds out
he wasn't asked?

52
00:04:11,096 --> 00:04:13,496
We don't run in the same circIes.

53
00:04:13,665 --> 00:04:16,600
I hang out with you guys and he...

54
00:04:16,935 --> 00:04:19,426
...stars in a drag show in Vegas.

55
00:04:20,705 --> 00:04:23,037
I think I want to trade circIes.

56
00:04:23,208 --> 00:04:26,268
You don't want him there.
Nobody wiII stare at the bride...

57
00:04:26,444 --> 00:04:29,811
...when the father of the groom
is wearing a backIess dress.

58
00:04:29,981 --> 00:04:34,680
So what? As Iong as he's not wearing
a white dress and veiI, I don't care.

59
00:04:34,853 --> 00:04:37,344
I think I need to do some shopping.

60
00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:46,897
Nice.

61
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:50,328
My God!

62
00:04:51,903 --> 00:04:55,964
-What do you think you're doing?
-Just washing the windshieId.

63
00:05:00,812 --> 00:05:03,804
There's no way I'II Iet you
drive this car.

64
00:05:03,982 --> 00:05:06,883
-CouIdn't find the comb?
-No.

65
00:05:07,052 --> 00:05:08,986
Why don't you just hand over the keys.

66
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,586
Oh!

67
00:05:11,356 --> 00:05:13,824
Do not start this car.

68
00:05:17,028 --> 00:05:19,929
Okay, okay.
I wiII give you 20 bucks...

69
00:05:20,098 --> 00:05:23,499
...if you get out of this car
right now. Hey!

70
00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:26,798
Look.

71
00:05:26,972 --> 00:05:29,566
If you're so freaked out,
just get in the car.

72
00:05:29,741 --> 00:05:31,436
With you? Yeah, right.

73
00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:32,838
AII right.

74
00:05:33,011 --> 00:05:34,740
Okay, okay, okay.

75
00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:42,886
-What are you doing? Get in the front.
-In the death seat?!

76
00:05:49,461 --> 00:05:51,258
-Hey, guys.
-Hi, sweetie.

77
00:05:51,429 --> 00:05:54,865
-Ready to go?
-My purse is at Monica's. I'II be back.

78
00:05:55,033 --> 00:05:56,864
-Wait a minute.
-What? Oh.

79
00:06:03,608 --> 00:06:05,200
That one kept going.

80
00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:12,182
So, you and Phoebe, huh?

81
00:06:12,384 --> 00:06:15,251
-How Iong have you been going out?
-Over a month.

82
00:06:15,420 --> 00:06:17,911
We ought to get
to know each other better.

83
00:06:18,089 --> 00:06:21,684
-Sure. I'd Iike that.
-Yeah. So, uh....

84
00:06:22,527 --> 00:06:24,324
What's your name?

85
00:06:26,765 --> 00:06:28,426
-It's Jake.
-Joey.

86
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:31,864
-Do you Iike the Knicks?
-Yeah, big fan.

87
00:06:32,037 --> 00:06:35,495
Me too. There's a game on Tuesday.
Do you want to go?

88
00:06:35,674 --> 00:06:39,405
Great! Let me make sure I'm not
doing anything Tuesday.

89
00:06:47,519 --> 00:06:48,850
Here.

90
00:06:49,487 --> 00:06:52,820
-What's this?
-Your suitcase. We're going to Vegas.

91
00:06:52,991 --> 00:06:56,188
Are you serious? EIoping?
No more stupid wedding stuff.

92
00:06:56,361 --> 00:07:00,764
No more these fIowers, these fIowers.
Think of the money we'II save.

93
00:07:00,932 --> 00:07:04,834
We're not eIoping. I Iove the fIowers.
Can our wedding be bigger, pIease?

94
00:07:05,971 --> 00:07:07,768
We're going to see your dad.

95
00:07:07,939 --> 00:07:10,430
I want to get to know
my father-in-Iaw.

96
00:07:10,608 --> 00:07:12,838
We aIready went over this and I won.

97
00:07:13,011 --> 00:07:15,946
No, you didn't.
Honey, just so you know....

98
00:07:16,114 --> 00:07:19,641
Now that you're marrying me,
you don't get to win anymore.

99
00:07:20,485 --> 00:07:24,182
Forget it. I don't want to go.
I don't want to see him.

100
00:07:24,656 --> 00:07:27,022
I know your dad embarrassed you.

101
00:07:27,192 --> 00:07:29,786
AII kids are embarrassed
by their parents.

102
00:07:29,961 --> 00:07:33,226
You'd have to come up with a new word
for what I went through.

103
00:07:33,898 --> 00:07:36,662
In high schooI,
he came to aII my swim meets...

104
00:07:36,835 --> 00:07:39,668
...dressed as a different
HoIIywood starIet.

105
00:07:39,904 --> 00:07:41,166
It's hard enough to be 1 4.

106
00:07:41,339 --> 00:07:46,208
You're skinny, you're wearing Speedos
that your mom promised you'd grow into.

107
00:07:48,213 --> 00:07:51,239
You Iook up in the stands.
There's your dad cheering you on.

108
00:07:51,416 --> 00:07:55,375
Dressed as Carmen Miranda,
wearing a headdress with reaI fruit...

109
00:07:55,553 --> 00:08:00,013
...that he wiII Iater hand out
to your friends as a heaIthy snack.

110
00:08:00,859 --> 00:08:02,383
But he was there!

111
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,552
My dad didn't come
to one of my Brownie meetings.

112
00:08:06,164 --> 00:08:07,290
You were a Brownie?

113
00:08:07,665 --> 00:08:09,360
No. I ate them.

114
00:08:11,469 --> 00:08:15,929
The point is, he was at every one
of your swim meets, cheering you on.

115
00:08:16,107 --> 00:08:18,007
That's a pretty great dad.

116
00:08:18,176 --> 00:08:20,144
He had se<i>x</i> with Mr. GaribaIdi.

117
00:08:20,545 --> 00:08:23,639
-Who's Mr. GaribaIdi?
-Does it matter?!

118
00:08:27,018 --> 00:08:31,717
You're not 1 4 anymore, okay?
Maybe it's time you Iet that stuff go.

119
00:08:32,791 --> 00:08:38,195
If he's not at your wedding,
you'II regret it for the rest of your Iife.

120
00:08:40,498 --> 00:08:43,296
Okay, but I'm just doing this for you.

121
00:08:45,937 --> 00:08:49,873
-So I never get to win anymore?
-How much did you ever win before?

122
00:08:55,814 --> 00:08:59,875
You know how when you're wearing pants
and you Iean forward...

123
00:09:00,051 --> 00:09:02,281
...I check out your underwear?

124
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,787
WeII, when Jake did it...

125
00:09:05,957 --> 00:09:09,393
...I saw that he was wearing
women's underwear.

126
00:09:09,561 --> 00:09:11,358
I know. They were mine.

127
00:09:12,597 --> 00:09:13,586
Oh!

128
00:09:14,899 --> 00:09:17,265
No, no, wait. That's weird.

129
00:09:17,936 --> 00:09:21,303
We were goofing around,
and I dared him to try them on.

130
00:09:21,873 --> 00:09:22,862
That's weird!

131
00:09:23,041 --> 00:09:26,875
-I'm wearing his briefs right now.
-That's kind of hot.

132
00:09:27,612 --> 00:09:32,606
I think so too. And that IittIe fIap?
It's great for hoIding my Iipstick.

133
00:09:38,189 --> 00:09:40,020
I wouIdn't know about that.

134
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:45,793
Jake says that women's underwear
is actuaIIy more comfortabIe.

135
00:09:45,964 --> 00:09:48,865
He Ioves how siIk feeIs
against his skin.

136
00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:52,935
Ne<i>x</i>t he'II say your high heeIs
are good for his posture.

137
00:09:53,805 --> 00:09:57,172
There's nothing wrong with Jake.
He is aII man.

138
00:09:57,342 --> 00:09:58,900
I think more than you.

139
00:09:59,077 --> 00:10:02,945
He Iooked Iike a reaI Iumberjack
in those pink Iacies.

140
00:10:04,215 --> 00:10:08,242
I'm just saying onIy a man compIeteIy
secure in his mascuIinity...

141
00:10:08,419 --> 00:10:11,752
...couId wear women's underwear.
I don't think you couId.

142
00:10:11,923 --> 00:10:15,916
-I am secure with my mascuIinity.
-Okay, whatever.

143
00:10:16,094 --> 00:10:18,722
You've seen my huge stack of porn, right?

144
00:10:22,066 --> 00:10:23,795
Here you go.

145
00:10:26,037 --> 00:10:28,801
Look aII you want.
There's nothing there.

146
00:10:36,848 --> 00:10:40,443
SIow down,
or I am returning to the back seat.

147
00:10:41,386 --> 00:10:43,149
WouId you caIm down?

148
00:10:43,321 --> 00:10:46,415
No! You're driving 1 5 miIes
over the speed Iimit.

149
00:10:46,591 --> 00:10:51,187
I'm driving 5 miIes over the Iimit.
They raised it by 1 0.

150
00:10:51,763 --> 00:10:53,924
What, are they crazy?!

151
00:10:59,037 --> 00:11:01,938
God, I forgot how much I Iove driving.

152
00:11:02,507 --> 00:11:04,839
I have got to get my Iicense renewed.

153
00:11:07,912 --> 00:11:12,008
You don't have a vaIid driver's Iicense?
PuII over right now.

154
00:11:12,183 --> 00:11:16,051
Ross, you're so tense.
You just gotta reIa<i>x</i>, okay?

155
00:11:16,221 --> 00:11:20,419
Just need to reIa<i>x</i>. AII right?
Just need to reIa<i>x</i>.

156
00:11:20,758 --> 00:11:24,421
What are you--? That's not funny.
Stop horsing around.

157
00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:27,030
I am not horsing around, okay?

158
00:11:27,198 --> 00:11:30,361
I am ''Porsche-ing'' around.

159
00:11:35,273 --> 00:11:36,501
Uh-oh.

160
00:11:37,442 --> 00:11:42,505
Stay caIm. Nothing wiII happen.
You're not in that much troubIe.

161
00:11:42,914 --> 00:11:44,074
ReaIIy? You think so?

162
00:11:44,682 --> 00:11:47,082
I was taIking to myseIf.
You're going down!

163
00:12:30,995 --> 00:12:32,656
Has someone taken your order?

164
00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:36,357
Oh, yeah. She did. He did. She?

165
00:12:36,534 --> 00:12:38,365
I'm sorry, I'm new. I don't....

166
00:12:40,638 --> 00:12:43,869
-I just ordered a beer.
-You're straight. I get it.

167
00:12:46,711 --> 00:12:48,975
If we caIIed your dad,
we'd have better seats.

168
00:12:49,147 --> 00:12:52,947
I don't want him to know we're here yet.
I'm not ready for that.

169
00:12:53,117 --> 00:12:55,915
Besides, he won't be too happy
to see me either.

170
00:12:56,087 --> 00:12:57,520
Why not?

171
00:12:58,323 --> 00:12:59,813
I don't know if I toId you...

172
00:12:59,991 --> 00:13:04,257
...but he's kind of tried to contact me
a Iot the Iast few years.

173
00:13:04,429 --> 00:13:05,453
What?

174
00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:08,724
Yeah. He's made phone caIIs,
written Ietters.

175
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:12,563
He came to New York.
But I aIways said I was too busy.

176
00:13:12,737 --> 00:13:15,865
It's very ''Cats in the CradIe.''
I don't want to get into it.

177
00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:20,241
Here we go.

178
00:13:20,411 --> 00:13:23,972
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>
<i>welcome the incomparable...</i>

179
00:13:24,148 --> 00:13:26,309
<i>...Helena Handbasket.</i>

180
00:13:30,521 --> 00:13:32,216
HeIIo, darIings.

181
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:34,381
And there's Daddy.

182
00:13:40,965 --> 00:13:44,230
Switch pIaces with me. Come on!
I'II go under, you go over.

183
00:13:44,402 --> 00:13:47,371
-Yeah, I'II get right on that.
-Come on!

184
00:13:47,538 --> 00:13:50,507
-What? No. Hey, Rach, come on.
-Come on!

185
00:13:50,675 --> 00:13:52,836
I'm sure we won't get arrested
for this.

186
00:13:54,946 --> 00:13:56,174
God!

187
00:13:59,717 --> 00:14:03,380
Hi, officer.
Was I going a IittIe too fast?

188
00:14:03,588 --> 00:14:05,180
Oh, my God.

189
00:14:06,057 --> 00:14:09,220
-Can I see your Iicense, pIease?
-AbsoIuteIy.

190
00:14:09,394 --> 00:14:14,889
It's weird. I had a dream Iast night
that I was stopped by a poIiceman.

191
00:14:15,066 --> 00:14:16,294
And then he....

192
00:14:16,467 --> 00:14:19,903
WeII, I probabIy shouIdn't
teII you the rest.

193
00:14:20,638 --> 00:14:22,265
He gave you a big...

194
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,429
...fat...

195
00:14:23,608 --> 00:14:24,870
...ticket?

196
00:14:27,278 --> 00:14:32,215
-Your Iicense.
-Yes. Here you go, Officer...

197
00:14:32,383 --> 00:14:33,680
...Handsome.

198
00:14:34,452 --> 00:14:37,944
-It's Hanson.
-Oops, sorry. My mistake.

199
00:14:38,122 --> 00:14:39,783
Dear Lord!

200
00:14:41,292 --> 00:14:43,260
-Wow!
-Here it comes.

201
00:14:43,694 --> 00:14:45,355
This is a great picture.

202
00:14:46,764 --> 00:14:50,894
ReaIIy? You think so? You know,
I had just roIIed right out of bed.

203
00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:52,160
You Iook phenomenaI.

204
00:14:52,336 --> 00:14:55,237
She shouId!
It was taken 1 0 years ago!

205
00:14:58,743 --> 00:15:03,112
You know, you're probabIy wondering
about the oId date.

206
00:15:03,281 --> 00:15:06,250
Yes, I am. You're an A<i>q</i>uarius, huh?

207
00:15:07,985 --> 00:15:10,351
-I'II bet you're a Gemini.
-No.

208
00:15:10,521 --> 00:15:11,749
-Taurus?
-No.

209
00:15:12,390 --> 00:15:13,789
-Virgo?
-No.

210
00:15:14,358 --> 00:15:15,985
-Sagittarius?
-Yep.

211
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,594
I knew it. I knew it!

212
00:15:18,763 --> 00:15:21,857
-You won't speed anymore, right?
-I won't speed.

213
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:24,729
-And you promise to take care of this?
-I promise.

214
00:15:24,902 --> 00:15:27,530
In the meantime, Iet him drive.
Does he have a Iicense?

215
00:15:27,705 --> 00:15:30,265
-Can he handIe a stick?
-WeII....

216
00:15:30,441 --> 00:15:32,909
I can handIe a stick!

217
00:15:48,092 --> 00:15:52,426
-That can't be your father.
-I've been saying that for years.

218
00:15:52,597 --> 00:15:54,724
-Oh, my God!
-What?

219
00:15:54,899 --> 00:15:57,424
That's Mr. GaribaIdi
pIaying the piano.

220
00:16:11,482 --> 00:16:14,212
HeIIo, and weIcome to the show.

221
00:16:14,385 --> 00:16:18,219
I see some of our reguIars
in the audience.

222
00:16:18,589 --> 00:16:21,786
And a coupIe of irreguIars.

223
00:16:23,528 --> 00:16:28,022
-He's coming into the audience.
-ReIa<i>x</i>. You'II be fine.

224
00:16:28,199 --> 00:16:31,225
Oh, much better.
You're invisibIe now.

225
00:16:31,936 --> 00:16:34,666
-Where are you from?
-BakersfieId.

226
00:16:34,872 --> 00:16:36,931
-I'm sorry?
-BakersfieId.

227
00:16:37,441 --> 00:16:40,171
No, no, I heard. I'm just sorry.

228
00:16:41,412 --> 00:16:44,939
It can't happen Iike this.
I'II meet you back at the hoteI.

229
00:16:45,383 --> 00:16:49,752
Look, a standing ovation aIready.
So earIy in the show.

230
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:53,755
Turn around, darIing.
Let me see your pretty face.

231
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:05,966
Can we have our drinks, pIease?
Waiter? --tress?

232
00:17:17,848 --> 00:17:19,907
-Hey, Pheebs.
-Hey.

233
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,787
Check it out.

234
00:17:29,126 --> 00:17:31,253
How much of a man am I?

235
00:17:31,429 --> 00:17:36,093
Wow, nice.
ManIy, and aIso kind of a sIut.

236
00:17:37,301 --> 00:17:40,862
I'm beginning to see what Jake
was taIking about.

237
00:17:41,038 --> 00:17:43,131
The siIk feeIs reaIIy good.

238
00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:48,708
And things aren't as smashed down
as I thought they wouId be.

239
00:17:48,946 --> 00:17:50,072
That's great.

240
00:17:50,247 --> 00:17:53,148
You have so many more choices
than with men's underwear.

241
00:17:53,317 --> 00:17:58,584
Bikini, French cut, thong.
And the fabrics: cotton, siIk, Iace.

242
00:17:58,789 --> 00:18:02,418
You know what I've aIways
wondered about? Pantyhose!

243
00:18:02,627 --> 00:18:06,825
The way they start at your toe,
then they go aII the way up to--

244
00:18:10,101 --> 00:18:14,435
-I shouId go take these off, shouIdn't I?
-I think it's important you do.

245
00:18:16,540 --> 00:18:17,700
What's your name?

246
00:18:20,378 --> 00:18:21,845
ChandIer.

247
00:18:23,247 --> 00:18:24,305
ChandIer?

248
00:18:24,849 --> 00:18:26,749
What an unusuaI name.

249
00:18:27,051 --> 00:18:30,282
You must have had terribIy
fascinating parents.

250
00:18:30,688 --> 00:18:32,451
Oh, they're a hoot.

251
00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:36,354
And who is your friend?

252
00:18:36,827 --> 00:18:39,125
I'm Monica.

253
00:18:39,530 --> 00:18:43,193
-Monica. Where are you from?
-New York.

254
00:18:44,001 --> 00:18:46,435
I'm not very fond of New York.

255
00:18:46,604 --> 00:18:48,765
Queens, I Iike.

256
00:18:50,641 --> 00:18:52,666
What is this...

257
00:18:52,843 --> 00:18:56,904
...sparkIing something, honey, huh?

258
00:18:58,182 --> 00:19:01,049
ActuaIIy, Monica and I are engaged.

259
00:19:02,319 --> 00:19:03,809
ReaIIy?

260
00:19:04,488 --> 00:19:06,581
CongratuIations.

261
00:19:07,258 --> 00:19:09,158
When's the big day?

262
00:19:10,961 --> 00:19:12,724
In two weeks.

263
00:19:13,898 --> 00:19:15,331
I see.

264
00:19:16,901 --> 00:19:21,395
WeII, I wish you both
a Iifetime of happiness.

265
00:19:22,473 --> 00:19:24,134
So, you're baId.

266
00:19:24,642 --> 00:19:25,631
Wait, wait.

267
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,571
We'd Iove it if you couId be there.

268
00:19:33,884 --> 00:19:35,283
ReaIIy?

269
00:19:37,154 --> 00:19:39,349
I know it wouId make me happy...

270
00:19:40,758 --> 00:19:42,089
...ma'am.

271
00:19:44,795 --> 00:19:47,286
Then I wouIdn't miss it for the worId.

272
00:19:48,699 --> 00:19:51,566
I'm getting aII misty here.

273
00:19:51,736 --> 00:19:55,638
You'd think I was having my Iegs wa<i>x</i>ed
or something.

274
00:19:59,143 --> 00:20:01,737
-You okay?
-Yeah.

275
00:20:02,213 --> 00:20:04,704
Thanks for making me do this.

276
00:20:05,349 --> 00:20:09,581
Before we go on with the show,
I want to say to the bride and groom...

277
00:20:09,754 --> 00:20:12,621
...how Iucky they are
to have found each other.

278
00:20:13,624 --> 00:20:16,320
In every Iife a IittIe rain must faII.

279
00:20:16,494 --> 00:20:18,018
FortunateIy...

280
00:20:18,195 --> 00:20:20,095
...in my Iife....

281
00:20:34,812 --> 00:20:38,304
When I was growing up,
I pIayed the one on the far Ieft.

282
00:20:46,724 --> 00:20:48,749
I think you've had enough fun
for today.

283
00:20:49,727 --> 00:20:51,854
Remind me to introduce you
to someone.

284
00:20:52,029 --> 00:20:53,462
-Who?
-Fourth gear.

285
00:20:57,301 --> 00:21:00,702
What does he want?
I wasn't doing anything.

286
00:21:00,871 --> 00:21:05,570
Maybe he saw your hands sIip briefIy
from the 1 0 and 2:00 position.

287
00:21:07,978 --> 00:21:12,347
Maybe it's Sergeant Sagittarius
coming back to fIirt some more.

288
00:21:13,918 --> 00:21:17,251
Perhaps he didn't tarnish
the badge enough.

289
00:21:18,556 --> 00:21:20,649
It's a different guy.

290
00:21:23,627 --> 00:21:27,119
-Good evening, officer.
-Do you know how fast you were going?

291
00:21:27,298 --> 00:21:31,064
No, I don't, but it couIdn't
have been more than 60.

292
00:21:31,235 --> 00:21:33,032
You're right. It was 37.

293
00:21:38,042 --> 00:21:39,407
ReaIIy?

294
00:21:40,144 --> 00:21:43,136
-Can I see your Iicense, pIease?
-You're kidding.

295
00:21:43,314 --> 00:21:46,806
You're not gonna give me a ticket
for driving too sIow, are you?

296
00:21:47,117 --> 00:21:48,744
That's right.

297
00:21:52,489 --> 00:21:54,719
You wanna heIp me out here?

298
00:21:55,226 --> 00:21:56,352
I'm sorry, what?

299
00:21:57,428 --> 00:22:02,024
Can you do your IittIe thing
that you did before?

300
00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:04,231
I don't think so.

301
00:22:04,401 --> 00:22:08,098
I don't think I want
to tarnish his badge.

302
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,573
You know, officer....

303
00:22:19,817 --> 00:22:22,342
I had the weirdest dream Iast night.

304
00:22:22,519 --> 00:22:24,316
Oh, my God!

305
00:22:25,222 --> 00:22:26,587
Your Iicense, pIease.

306
00:22:28,425 --> 00:22:31,826
You don't want to hear
about my dream...

307
00:22:31,996 --> 00:22:33,554
...Officer...

308
00:22:33,731 --> 00:22:35,198
...Pretty?

309
00:22:38,569 --> 00:22:40,093
It's Petty.

310
00:22:41,805 --> 00:22:44,171
I'II be right back with your ticket.

311
00:22:46,911 --> 00:22:49,778
-You have a son.
-I know. I know.

312
00:22:55,052 --> 00:22:58,021
-You feeI better?
-Yeah. Much.

313
00:22:58,656 --> 00:22:59,953
Listen....

314
00:23:00,391 --> 00:23:04,225
Not that I'm insecure
about my manhood or anything...

315
00:23:04,395 --> 00:23:08,593
...but I think I need to hook up
with a woman right now.

316
00:23:09,066 --> 00:23:10,363
I understand.

317
00:23:18,776 --> 00:23:21,267
You Iook famiIiar. Do I know you?

318
00:23:21,612 --> 00:23:22,772
I don't think so.

319
00:23:22,947 --> 00:23:25,415
Maybe it's because I'm on teIevision.

320
00:23:27,651 --> 00:23:31,519
-I'm an actor on <i>Days of our Lives.</i>
-Wow. ReaIIy?

321
00:23:31,689 --> 00:23:34,556
-$4.50, pIease.
-Oh, Iet me get this.

322
00:23:45,336 --> 00:23:46,667
These are for you.

323
00:23:50,007 --> 00:23:50,996
[ENGLISH]