1 00:00:02,644 --> 00:00:06,119 Do you realize we're getting married in four weeks? 2 00:00:06,367 --> 00:00:09,284 Four weeks, baby. Four weeks! 3 00:00:09,915 --> 00:00:12,204 Do you realize you get louder each week? 4 00:00:13,116 --> 00:00:16,699 There's still so much to do! Have you written your vows yet? 5 00:00:16,908 --> 00:00:21,392 I figured I'd just buy those. "Pat, I'd like to buy a vow." 6 00:00:22,127 --> 00:00:25,532 You know I've no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding. 7 00:00:26,929 --> 00:00:31,899 - Right. Have you written yours yet? - No, but I know what I'm gonna say. 8 00:00:32,913 --> 00:00:36,246 Do you happen to know exactly what I'm gonna say? 9 00:00:37,888 --> 00:00:40,390 Let's do it now. It won't be hard. 10 00:00:40,636 --> 00:00:42,510 Say what's in your heart. 11 00:00:49,230 --> 00:00:52,871 Look at her go. She must love me more than I love her! 12 00:00:53,544 --> 00:00:57,648 What's wrong with me? Don't open that door. 13 00:00:59,111 --> 00:01:03,345 The One With The Vows 14 00:01:38,878 --> 00:01:43,433 "Monica, there are no words..." 15 00:01:46,010 --> 00:01:49,271 There are no words! This shouldn't be this hard! 16 00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:54,424 You've done this before. What did you say in your vows? 17 00:01:54,638 --> 00:01:58,980 With Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. 18 00:01:59,266 --> 00:02:01,033 She made no such promise. 19 00:02:01,944 --> 00:02:06,536 I'm so pathetic. Monica knows what to say. You should have seen her writing. 20 00:02:09,425 --> 00:02:11,157 What's the emergency? 21 00:02:11,373 --> 00:02:15,441 You have to help me. I'm supposed to write my vows and all I have is this. 22 00:02:15,653 --> 00:02:19,366 I like the pretty drawing of you in the wedding dress. 23 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,477 Except your breasts look kind of small. 24 00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:27,822 Those are my eyes! 25 00:02:29,569 --> 00:02:33,175 - Those are my breasts. - Oh, yeah, okay. 26 00:02:35,727 --> 00:02:39,238 Why don't you just start with something simple, like: 27 00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:44,622 "Monica, from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you." 28 00:02:44,843 --> 00:02:46,539 I'm not sure I can do that. 29 00:02:46,756 --> 00:02:49,294 Everyone, this is Chandler. 30 00:02:49,505 --> 00:02:51,557 Hi, I'm Ross' little sister. 31 00:02:52,427 --> 00:02:53,886 Okay. 32 00:02:56,359 --> 00:02:59,657 Okay, okay. Maybe you could start with: 33 00:02:59,873 --> 00:03:02,755 "Chandler, even though we were friends... 34 00:03:02,935 --> 00:03:06,233 ...there was a part of me that always knew I wanted more." 35 00:03:06,449 --> 00:03:11,170 All right, there's a nuclear holocaust. I'm the last man on earth. 36 00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:13,612 Would you go out with me? 37 00:03:18,556 --> 00:03:20,953 Are we allowed to lie in the vows? 38 00:03:22,383 --> 00:03:24,779 Maybe you don't talk about your feelings back then. 39 00:03:25,027 --> 00:03:30,199 Just say something about all the things that he's taught you, like... 40 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,793 Or all the things you taught him. 41 00:03:39,431 --> 00:03:41,578 Everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. 42 00:03:41,796 --> 00:03:43,848 You got one, two, three... 43 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:46,347 ...four, five... 44 00:03:46,564 --> 00:03:48,640 ...six and seven. 45 00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,941 There are seven? 46 00:03:53,452 --> 00:03:56,963 - That's one? - Kind of an important one. 47 00:03:57,941 --> 00:04:00,123 I was looking at it upside down. 48 00:04:03,054 --> 00:04:05,651 Well, you know, sometimes that helps. 49 00:04:10,222 --> 00:04:13,412 Okay, now, start out with a little one... 50 00:04:13,631 --> 00:04:16,442 ...a two, a one-two-three... 51 00:04:17,493 --> 00:04:20,862 ...a three, a five... 52 00:04:21,947 --> 00:04:24,687 ...a four, a three-two... 53 00:04:24,904 --> 00:04:26,921 ...two, a two-four-six. 54 00:04:27,896 --> 00:04:31,537 Two-four-six, four, two... 55 00:04:32,175 --> 00:04:34,393 ...two, four-seven... 56 00:04:35,516 --> 00:04:38,220 ...five-seven, six-seven... 57 00:04:38,437 --> 00:04:40,904 ...seven, seven... 58 00:04:41,151 --> 00:04:44,485 ...seven, seven, seven, seven, seven... 59 00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:46,088 ...seven! 60 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:56,970 I got it! How about saying something like: 61 00:04:57,225 --> 00:05:01,875 "Monica, when I look back over our time together..." 62 00:05:06,758 --> 00:05:08,703 - Yeah? - I can't do everything. 63 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,241 Look back over your time together. 64 00:05:14,343 --> 00:05:15,802 Oh, look, twins! 65 00:05:16,012 --> 00:05:19,903 No fair! I don't even have one, how come they get two? 66 00:05:20,327 --> 00:05:22,924 - You'll get one. - Yeah, when? 67 00:05:23,145 --> 00:05:24,426 I'll tell you what. 68 00:05:24,641 --> 00:05:29,991 When we're 40, if neither of us are married, what do you say you and I have one? 69 00:05:30,173 --> 00:05:33,055 Why wouldn't I be married when I'm 40? 70 00:05:33,269 --> 00:05:35,345 Oh, no. No, I just meant hypothetically. 71 00:05:35,565 --> 00:05:38,590 Hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? 72 00:05:38,836 --> 00:05:39,904 No, no. 73 00:05:40,158 --> 00:05:44,809 What is it? Seriously, is there something fundamentally un-marriable about me? 74 00:05:45,516 --> 00:05:47,105 Well? 75 00:05:47,325 --> 00:05:50,516 Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack! 76 00:05:52,996 --> 00:05:54,312 I'm getting married today! 77 00:05:57,832 --> 00:05:59,849 Do you think he knew I was here? 78 00:06:07,052 --> 00:06:08,120 Nice try. 79 00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:10,142 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 80 00:06:13,176 --> 00:06:14,350 Look, Monica... 81 00:06:18,881 --> 00:06:22,286 - This is not gonna work. - I bet this will work. 82 00:06:30,711 --> 00:06:33,308 You are so great! I love you. 83 00:06:43,026 --> 00:06:44,236 What? 84 00:06:44,592 --> 00:06:48,483 Nothing! I said, you're so great, and then I just stopped talking. 85 00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:53,768 - You said you love me! I can't believe this. - No, I didn't. 86 00:06:55,657 --> 00:06:58,088 - Yes, you did. - No, I didn't! 87 00:06:59,101 --> 00:07:01,674 - You love me! - No, I don't! 88 00:07:01,884 --> 00:07:03,651 Stop it! Stop it! 89 00:07:07,938 --> 00:07:11,971 You know, I was thinking, what if I unpack here? 90 00:07:12,495 --> 00:07:14,571 Then all your stuff would be here. 91 00:07:16,148 --> 00:07:17,464 Well... 92 00:07:20,184 --> 00:07:21,952 What if all my stuff was here? 93 00:07:22,654 --> 00:07:25,608 Then you'd be going back and forth all the time. 94 00:07:26,168 --> 00:07:27,793 Doesn't make any sense. 95 00:07:28,290 --> 00:07:29,820 Okay. 96 00:07:32,222 --> 00:07:36,077 What if we live together, and you understand what I'm saying? 97 00:07:45,026 --> 00:07:46,970 You wanted it to be a surprise. 98 00:07:57,307 --> 00:07:58,801 Oh, my God! 99 00:08:05,414 --> 00:08:06,967 Chandler... 100 00:08:08,301 --> 00:08:10,069 ...in all my life... 101 00:08:10,876 --> 00:08:13,651 ...I never thought I would be so lucky... 102 00:08:17,208 --> 00:08:20,719 ...as to fall in love with my best... 103 00:08:22,218 --> 00:08:23,772 My best... 104 00:08:24,793 --> 00:08:28,647 - There's a reason why girls don't do this! - Okay, okay, okay! I'll do it. 105 00:08:29,837 --> 00:08:31,569 I thought... 106 00:08:35,926 --> 00:08:37,455 I can do this. 107 00:08:41,318 --> 00:08:42,848 I thought... 108 00:08:43,093 --> 00:08:48,265 ...that it mattered what I said or where I said it. 109 00:08:48,938 --> 00:08:54,109 Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you... 110 00:08:58,158 --> 00:09:02,500 You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. 111 00:09:05,603 --> 00:09:07,335 And if you let me... 112 00:09:08,213 --> 00:09:12,317 ...I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. 113 00:09:21,364 --> 00:09:22,787 Monica? 114 00:09:24,878 --> 00:09:26,336 Will you marry me? 115 00:09:28,531 --> 00:09:30,191 Yes. 116 00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:45,856 Can we come in yet? We're dying out here! 117 00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:48,633 Come in! Come in! 118 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,114 - We're engaged! - Yes! 119 00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:02,964 - Hi. - What have you guys been up to? 120 00:10:03,184 --> 00:10:06,588 We were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out... 121 00:10:06,767 --> 00:10:09,472 ...because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions. 122 00:10:11,498 --> 00:10:15,318 How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass" inappropriate? 123 00:10:17,239 --> 00:10:18,793 How's Monica doing? 124 00:10:19,048 --> 00:10:22,939 Let's say it's lucky she's got a sweet ass because she's not so good at the writing. 125 00:10:24,337 --> 00:10:27,184 I can't believe in four weeks they're gonna be married! 126 00:10:27,503 --> 00:10:29,519 Let's just hope it works. 127 00:10:29,764 --> 00:10:32,505 Nine out of 10 marriages end in divorce. 128 00:10:32,721 --> 00:10:34,251 Phoebe, that's not true. 129 00:10:34,461 --> 00:10:36,643 Yeah, you're right. How's the missus? 130 00:10:38,601 --> 00:10:40,748 I can't believe they've been together 3 years. 131 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,244 That long? 132 00:10:42,498 --> 00:10:45,867 Maybe it seems like less because they hid it from us for so long. 133 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,524 Hey, it's me. Coming in. 134 00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:58,664 I've had a very long, hard day. 135 00:10:59,372 --> 00:11:03,013 - I'm gonna get some chicken. Want some? - No, thanks. No, chicken. Bye, then. 136 00:11:07,896 --> 00:11:12,547 Are you okay? I'm sorry. He wouldn't leave. He kept asking if I wanted chicken. 137 00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,012 Chicken? 138 00:11:15,098 --> 00:11:16,901 I could eat some chicken. 139 00:11:18,368 --> 00:11:19,791 Hey, Joe! 140 00:11:22,439 --> 00:11:26,329 Can I get a three-piece, some coleslaw and some beans and a Coke? 141 00:11:27,309 --> 00:11:28,733 Diet Coke. 142 00:11:32,876 --> 00:11:37,147 - I don't know why they didn't just tell us. - It's not like we weren't cool about it. 143 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,246 You? And you? 144 00:11:41,052 --> 00:11:43,590 You cannot tell. No one knows. 145 00:11:43,801 --> 00:11:45,568 How? When? 146 00:11:46,132 --> 00:11:49,228 - It happened in London. - In London?! 147 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,924 We didn't tell anyone, because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it. 148 00:11:55,178 --> 00:11:57,325 But it is a big deal! 149 00:11:57,822 --> 00:12:00,218 - I have to tell someone. - No, no! 150 00:12:00,709 --> 00:12:02,025 - You can't. - Please! 151 00:12:02,241 --> 00:12:07,389 We don't want to deal with telling everyone. Just promise you won't tell. 152 00:12:11,008 --> 00:12:12,361 All right! 153 00:12:13,026 --> 00:12:17,439 I can't wait to be with you. I'll tell Rachel I'm doing laundry for a few hours. 154 00:12:17,688 --> 00:12:20,534 Laundry? Is that my new nickname? 155 00:12:25,238 --> 00:12:27,871 You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big... 156 00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:34,560 Oh, look, there's Monica and Chandler. Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! 157 00:12:44,999 --> 00:12:47,431 Chandler and Monica! Chandler and Monica! 158 00:12:47,644 --> 00:12:49,102 Oh, my God! 159 00:12:49,314 --> 00:12:52,196 - Chandler and Monica! - Oh, my God! 160 00:12:52,445 --> 00:12:56,087 - Oh, my eyes! My eyes! - Phoebe! Phoebe! 161 00:12:56,411 --> 00:13:00,052 - It's okay! It's okay! - No! They're doing it! 162 00:13:00,273 --> 00:13:01,447 I know! I know! 163 00:13:01,665 --> 00:13:03,053 - You know? - Yes, I know! 164 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:06,941 And Joey knows, but Ross doesn't know, so you have to stop screaming! 165 00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:09,274 - Hey, what's going on? - Oh, hi! 166 00:13:11,163 --> 00:13:12,337 What? What? 167 00:13:12,555 --> 00:13:15,580 Oh, God! We're just so excited that you might get this apartment! 168 00:13:16,069 --> 00:13:20,340 - Actually, it looks really good. - It looks pretty good! 169 00:13:20,557 --> 00:13:23,262 Get in here! Come on! 170 00:13:26,332 --> 00:13:29,737 So they know you know, and they don't know that Rachel knows? 171 00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:32,938 Yes, but you know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. 172 00:13:33,152 --> 00:13:36,485 Now enough of us know, that we can just tell them we know. 173 00:13:36,666 --> 00:13:39,548 Now all the lying and the secrets will finally be over. 174 00:13:39,797 --> 00:13:44,352 Or we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own. 175 00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:47,798 All right, we better go if we're gonna catch that movie. 176 00:13:48,355 --> 00:13:50,229 - Bye. - Bye. 177 00:13:50,477 --> 00:13:53,075 Bye, Chandler. I miss you already. 178 00:13:58,515 --> 00:14:01,397 Did you see that? With the inappropriate and the pinching? 179 00:14:01,611 --> 00:14:02,679 Actually, I did. 180 00:14:02,934 --> 00:14:06,303 So now do you believe that she's attracted to me? 181 00:14:07,526 --> 00:14:10,551 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, she knows about us! 182 00:14:10,761 --> 00:14:14,130 - Phoebe knows about us! - Well, I didn't tell them. 183 00:14:14,519 --> 00:14:17,224 Them? Who's them? 184 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:20,987 Phoebe and Joey. 185 00:14:22,938 --> 00:14:24,077 Joey! 186 00:14:24,713 --> 00:14:25,684 And Rachel. 187 00:14:26,139 --> 00:14:28,950 I would've told you, but they made me promise not to tell. 188 00:14:29,166 --> 00:14:32,606 Oh, man. They think they are so slick, messing with us! 189 00:14:32,820 --> 00:14:35,939 But, see, they don't know that we know that they know. 190 00:14:37,412 --> 00:14:39,321 - So... - Ah, yes! 191 00:14:39,569 --> 00:14:42,451 The messers become the messees! 192 00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:47,876 Oh, my God, he wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more! 193 00:14:48,092 --> 00:14:49,231 Are you kidding? 194 00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:51,952 I can't believe he'd do that to Mo... 195 00:15:00,687 --> 00:15:03,498 Joey? Do they know that we know? 196 00:15:04,062 --> 00:15:06,245 - No. - Joey! 197 00:15:06,497 --> 00:15:09,070 - They know you know. - I knew it! 198 00:15:10,116 --> 00:15:12,192 I cannot believe those two! 199 00:15:12,447 --> 00:15:16,302 They thought that they could mess with us? They're trying to mess with us? 200 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:21,870 They don't know that we know they know we know. 201 00:15:23,302 --> 00:15:25,176 Joey, you can't say anything. 202 00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:27,334 Couldn't if I wanted to. 203 00:15:29,251 --> 00:15:32,347 This is getting out of hand! She wants me to put lotion on her! 204 00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:33,872 She's bluffing! 205 00:15:34,087 --> 00:15:36,412 She's not backing down. She went like this: 206 00:15:39,514 --> 00:15:42,396 He's not backing down. He went to get lotion. 207 00:15:45,325 --> 00:15:47,270 Oh, man. Aren't you guys done yet? 208 00:15:47,482 --> 00:15:52,594 The sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler, the sooner this is all over and in the open. 209 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,193 - I like that. - Okay. 210 00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:59,092 Okay, show him your bra. He's afraid of bras. Can't work them. 211 00:16:06,513 --> 00:16:09,218 Wow! You didn't rip off any buttons. 212 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:10,990 It's not my first time. 213 00:16:13,402 --> 00:16:15,976 You go back out there and seduce her till she cracks. 214 00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:17,952 Okay, give me a second. 215 00:16:18,725 --> 00:16:21,715 - Did you clean up in here? - Of course. 216 00:16:27,597 --> 00:16:28,877 Oh, you're going? 217 00:16:29,302 --> 00:16:31,283 Not without you, lover. 218 00:16:36,365 --> 00:16:39,520 So this is my bra. 219 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:45,191 It's very, very nice. 220 00:16:47,498 --> 00:16:49,823 Well, come here. 221 00:16:50,246 --> 00:16:52,916 I'm very happy we're gonna have all the sex. 222 00:16:54,526 --> 00:16:57,930 You should be. I'm very bendy. 223 00:17:02,736 --> 00:17:06,070 - I'm gonna kiss you now. - Not if I kiss you first. 224 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:29,314 I guess there's nothing left for us to do but kiss. 225 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:32,028 Here it comes. 226 00:17:33,005 --> 00:17:34,594 Our first kiss. 227 00:17:43,512 --> 00:17:47,058 - Okay, okay, okay, fine, you win! - Ha! 228 00:17:47,270 --> 00:17:49,002 - I can't have sex with you. - Why not? 229 00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:51,958 - Because I'm in love with Monica. - You're what? 230 00:17:54,472 --> 00:17:59,549 Love her! That's right, I love her! I love her! 231 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,016 I love you, Monica. 232 00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:09,109 I love you too, Chandler. 233 00:18:14,546 --> 00:18:17,951 I thought you guys were doing it. I didn't know you were in love. 234 00:18:20,113 --> 00:18:22,687 So that's it, it's over. Everybody knows. 235 00:18:22,896 --> 00:18:26,859 - Well, actually, Ross doesn't. - We'd appreciate if no one told him yet. 236 00:18:27,141 --> 00:18:28,529 No. 237 00:18:30,759 --> 00:18:33,156 What are you doing? 238 00:18:33,891 --> 00:18:36,666 Get off my sister! 239 00:18:38,866 --> 00:18:42,342 Your friends getting married, it's gotta change things. 240 00:18:42,519 --> 00:18:44,286 You think it'll be that different? 241 00:18:44,502 --> 00:18:47,563 How could it not be? Soon, they're gonna have kids... 242 00:18:47,772 --> 00:18:51,106 ...and hang out with other couples who have kids. 243 00:18:51,322 --> 00:18:53,682 And maybe they'll leave the city... 244 00:18:53,896 --> 00:18:56,886 ...to be near a Volvo dealership. 245 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,331 Things change. 246 00:19:01,619 --> 00:19:04,810 But I don't want them to move to a Volvo dealership. 247 00:19:06,491 --> 00:19:07,950 It'll be okay, Joe. 248 00:19:08,578 --> 00:19:12,220 Sorry. I just... I like things the way they are. 249 00:19:12,753 --> 00:19:14,865 Who's this little naked guy? 250 00:19:15,084 --> 00:19:17,195 That little naked guy would be me. 251 00:19:18,807 --> 00:19:20,539 Look at the little thing. 252 00:19:20,755 --> 00:19:22,178 Yes. 253 00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:27,708 Yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grownups now? 254 00:19:29,314 --> 00:19:31,852 - Who are those people? - Got me. 255 00:19:32,167 --> 00:19:34,384 That's Nana right there in the middle. 256 00:19:34,602 --> 00:19:36,963 - Wow. - Let's see. 257 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:39,882 "Me and the gang at Java Joe's." 258 00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:43,646 Monica, you look like your grandmother. How old was she there? 259 00:19:44,066 --> 00:19:45,762 Let's see, 1939. 260 00:19:45,979 --> 00:19:48,055 Yeah, 24, 25. 261 00:19:49,493 --> 00:19:51,118 Looks like a fun gang. 262 00:19:57,112 --> 00:20:00,268 Look, look, look! I got Monica naked. 263 00:20:00,488 --> 00:20:02,326 Let me see. 264 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,981 No, that would be me again. 265 00:20:11,412 --> 00:20:14,366 - Hey, you guys. - What's going on? 266 00:20:14,578 --> 00:20:17,080 Well, we were just talking about... 267 00:20:17,326 --> 00:20:20,552 ...you guys getting married and how great it is. 268 00:20:20,736 --> 00:20:24,769 Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If that's what you really want. 269 00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:27,449 That's so sweet. 270 00:20:28,843 --> 00:20:32,592 - So we both finished our vows. - Can we read them? 271 00:20:32,808 --> 00:20:36,355 Just as long as I don't hear Chandler's and he doesn't hear mine. 272 00:20:45,508 --> 00:20:47,452 Oh, that's beautiful. 273 00:20:48,743 --> 00:20:50,332 Funny one! That's good! 274 00:20:52,431 --> 00:20:54,056 Monica, will you marry me? 275 00:20:56,954 --> 00:20:58,828 What? I don't get it. 276 00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,804 Oh, yeah! 277 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:06,163 - Man, this is hilarious! - Chandler! 278 00:21:07,426 --> 00:21:10,000 Don't worry, honey. We'll make yours funnier. 279 00:21:16,994 --> 00:21:18,903 Okay, what do you guys think? 280 00:21:21,309 --> 00:21:25,722 - Dude... - I have never known love like this. 281 00:21:26,632 --> 00:21:29,170 - You really like it? - Dude! 282 00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:32,364 How did you write this? 283 00:21:32,581 --> 00:21:35,154 I stole Monica's and changed the name. 284 00:21:37,661 --> 00:21:40,994 - You can't do that! - If he goes first, he can!