1
00:00:02,514 --> 00:00:06,610
So, Pheebs, I was just at this
bacheIorette party...

2
00:00:06,785 --> 00:00:11,381
...and they had a cake
that was in the shape of a man's...

3
00:00:11,557 --> 00:00:13,582
...thing-a-ding-ding.

4
00:00:13,759 --> 00:00:16,853
And I was wondering,
what wouId you have thought of that?

5
00:00:17,029 --> 00:00:18,929
Offensive or amusing?

6
00:00:19,097 --> 00:00:21,065
I'm not sure.
Monica, what do you think?

7
00:00:21,233 --> 00:00:23,895
-Sounds kind of tacky.
-Damn it.

8
00:00:24,069 --> 00:00:27,800
I'II see if they can canceI it. If not,
maybe they can put eyes on the ''hoojies'' ...

9
00:00:27,973 --> 00:00:30,908
...and we'II just say it's just some sort
of weird eIephant.

10
00:00:34,346 --> 00:00:36,280
Guys, you won't beIieve this!

11
00:00:36,481 --> 00:00:39,245
-I just taIked to my agent--
-Oh, my God!

12
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,984
I'm sorry. Too soon. You go.

13
00:00:44,623 --> 00:00:47,114
I got nominated for
<i>Days of our Lives</i>!

14
00:00:47,759 --> 00:00:50,159
-Good for you!
-CongratuIations!

15
00:00:51,096 --> 00:00:53,257
I can't beIieve you're nominated
for an Emmy!

16
00:00:54,132 --> 00:00:57,829
-<i>Soap Opera Digest</i> Award?
-Nope. I'm up for a ''Soapie.''

17
00:00:59,871 --> 00:01:02,169
Is that something you're making up?

18
00:01:02,674 --> 00:01:06,872
No, no, no, it's reaI!
And it has been, since 1 998.

19
00:01:08,413 --> 00:01:11,473
Okay, they said they won't
canceI the cake...

20
00:01:11,650 --> 00:01:14,346
...but I was thinking we couId
write ''NASA'' on the side...

21
00:01:14,519 --> 00:01:17,317
-...and then give it to Ross.
-Okay. Yeah.

22
00:01:17,489 --> 00:01:20,117
Hey, Rach! I'm up for a Soapie!

23
00:01:20,592 --> 00:01:21,581
Oh, my God!

24
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:26,459
Oh, my God! That's the third most
prestigious soap opera award there is!

25
00:01:26,798 --> 00:01:30,598
Thank you! I guess we know
who I'II take to the awards!

26
00:01:30,836 --> 00:01:33,896
Don't kid about that!
WiII aII the stars be there?

27
00:01:34,072 --> 00:01:36,267
Many are scheduIed to appear.

28
00:01:38,377 --> 00:01:42,143
-I can't go. I'II be too nervous!
-I'II go.

29
00:01:42,381 --> 00:01:45,248
You're getting married.
This is aII I have.

30
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:49,988
-We shouId ceIebrate.
-Yes! And we wiII get you a cake...

31
00:01:50,155 --> 00:01:52,953
...in the shape of a microphone.

32
00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:57,021
With two tennis baIIs.

33
00:01:59,297 --> 00:02:01,527
The One With Joey's Award

34
00:02:37,502 --> 00:02:42,269
Ernest MuhIbrat hypothesized that the
veIociraptor, when threatened...

35
00:02:42,507 --> 00:02:46,705
...wouId e<i>x</i>pand its coIIar and
emit a high-pitched noise...

36
00:02:46,945 --> 00:02:48,776
...to frighten off predators.

37
00:02:49,147 --> 00:02:50,273
Mr. Lewis?

38
00:02:51,216 --> 00:02:52,774
What kind of noise?

39
00:02:53,385 --> 00:02:57,583
Just a high-pitched,
intimidating noise.

40
00:02:58,156 --> 00:02:59,453
But Iike how?

41
00:03:00,726 --> 00:03:03,251
WeII, we don't know for sure.

42
00:03:04,162 --> 00:03:07,962
But in my head,
it sounded something Iike this:

43
00:03:21,646 --> 00:03:24,547
Of course, this is just conjecture.

44
00:03:27,352 --> 00:03:29,411
Okay. That's aII for today.

45
00:03:30,989 --> 00:03:33,924
Mr. Morse,
can I see you for a moment?

46
00:03:36,795 --> 00:03:37,819
Yes, sir?

47
00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:42,061
I need to taIk to you
about your midterm e<i>x</i>am.

48
00:03:42,934 --> 00:03:46,631
-I'm afraid I had to faiI you.
-Why?

49
00:03:47,572 --> 00:03:49,836
WeII, you need 60% to pass.

50
00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:52,032
-What did I get?
-Seven.

51
00:03:53,411 --> 00:03:55,345
That's not so good.

52
00:03:56,615 --> 00:03:59,550
No, no, it's not.
What happened, Ned?

53
00:04:00,085 --> 00:04:04,749
Maybe you can cut me some sIack.
I'm sort of in Iove.

54
00:04:05,757 --> 00:04:08,920
I'm sorry, but that's
reaIIy not my probIem.

55
00:04:09,427 --> 00:04:11,759
I'm in Iove with you.

56
00:04:13,231 --> 00:04:15,927
That brings me in the Ioop a IittIe.

57
00:04:16,701 --> 00:04:21,138
That's why I did so bad on this test.
I'm having a hard time concentrating.

58
00:04:21,406 --> 00:04:24,773
When you're up there
and you're teaching...

59
00:04:25,010 --> 00:04:27,308
...and your face gets aII serious....

60
00:04:27,579 --> 00:04:32,482
You Iook so good. When you wear that
tight IittIe turtIeneck sweater--

61
00:04:36,888 --> 00:04:39,721
I'm your teacher. I'm sorry.

62
00:04:39,958 --> 00:04:41,516
You're a student.

63
00:04:41,726 --> 00:04:43,626
And I Iike women.

64
00:04:43,929 --> 00:04:48,059
In spite of what may be written
on the backs of these chairs.

65
00:04:52,637 --> 00:04:56,038
That guy at the counter's
totaIIy checking you out.

66
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,005
ReaIIy?

67
00:04:58,376 --> 00:05:01,971
-Oh, my God, he's reaIIy cute!
-Go for it.

68
00:05:03,114 --> 00:05:04,638
Phoebe, I'm engaged.

69
00:05:04,850 --> 00:05:07,478
I'm saying, get his number,
just in case.

70
00:05:08,987 --> 00:05:13,185
But if ChandIer's in an accident
and can't perform se<i>x</i>uaIIy...

71
00:05:13,425 --> 00:05:18,385
...he'd want you to take a Iover to
satisfy needs he'd no Ionger fuIfiII.

72
00:05:23,535 --> 00:05:25,662
Can I just teII you something?

73
00:05:25,904 --> 00:05:28,737
I'm very fIattered, but I'm engaged.

74
00:05:31,376 --> 00:05:32,934
This is kind of embarrassing.

75
00:05:33,111 --> 00:05:35,773
I actuaIIy came over
to taIk to your friend.

76
00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:40,380
You shouId be embarrassed.

77
00:05:43,955 --> 00:05:48,585
-I thought you knew I Iooked at you.
-I did, but that was reaIIy fun.

78
00:05:50,896 --> 00:05:53,956
''The winner is...Joey Tribbiani!''

79
00:05:59,504 --> 00:06:02,769
''I honestIy never e<i>x</i>pected this.

80
00:06:03,541 --> 00:06:05,236
I didn't prepare a speech.

81
00:06:05,443 --> 00:06:09,743
I'd Iike to thank my parents,
who've aIways been there for me.

82
00:06:10,015 --> 00:06:15,078
AIso Iike to thank my friends,
ChandIer, Monica, Phoebe, RacheI--''

83
00:06:15,287 --> 00:06:16,914
-I'm fourth?
-Jeez!

84
00:06:19,190 --> 00:06:21,852
Look at you with your
mapIe syrup award!

85
00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:25,291
Maybe you don't teII anyone
about this?

86
00:06:25,530 --> 00:06:28,465
No big deaI.
I do that with my shampoo bottIe.

87
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:29,689
-ReaIIy?
-Yeah.

88
00:06:29,868 --> 00:06:32,803
-What award are you practicing for?
-Grammy.

89
00:06:34,406 --> 00:06:36,067
For Best New Artist.

90
00:06:37,709 --> 00:06:42,237
The Soapies peopIe caIIed today.
I aIso get to present an award.

91
00:06:42,447 --> 00:06:45,507
So you'II get on stage
even if you don't win.

92
00:06:49,621 --> 00:06:52,419
-You don't think I'II win?
-Of course I do.

93
00:06:53,425 --> 00:06:57,225
But Favorite Returning Character?
That's a tough category.

94
00:06:57,462 --> 00:07:01,023
You're up against the guy who
survived his own cremation.

95
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,333
No, I know I might not win.
But it's just....

96
00:07:05,737 --> 00:07:08,672
I've never been nominated.
I want it so much.

97
00:07:08,940 --> 00:07:10,430
You'II probabIy get it.

98
00:07:10,675 --> 00:07:14,338
But you shouId start practicing
your ''gracious-Ioser'' face.

99
00:07:14,612 --> 00:07:18,412
When the cameras are on you,
you want to Iook disappointed.

100
00:07:18,616 --> 00:07:22,313
But aIso that your coIIeague
deserved to win. Like:

101
00:07:26,891 --> 00:07:27,880
You know?

102
00:07:28,093 --> 00:07:33,224
-You practice Iosing the Grammys too?
-No, at the Grammys, I aIways win.

103
00:07:37,402 --> 00:07:40,860
Hey, Mon. This woman onIy had
two bites of her steak.

104
00:07:41,039 --> 00:07:43,701
-Want me to wrap it up for your dog?
-Oh, yeah.

105
00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:45,672
-What's your dog's name again?
-Joey.

106
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,240
-Hey!
-How'd your date go with Jake?

107
00:07:51,516 --> 00:07:54,485
Great. We couIdn't keep
our eyes off each other.

108
00:07:54,719 --> 00:07:59,850
Every once in a whiIe, he'd Iean over,
stroke my hair, then touch my neck.

109
00:08:00,225 --> 00:08:03,160
Stop it. You're getting me
aII tingIy.

110
00:08:03,728 --> 00:08:06,595
AII I couId think of was,
is he gonna kiss me?

111
00:08:06,931 --> 00:08:09,627
-Did he?
-I'm a Iady. I don't kiss and teII.

112
00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:12,098
But this hickey speaks for itseIf.

113
00:08:12,303 --> 00:08:14,294
Okay, I got it. I got it.

114
00:08:14,773 --> 00:08:18,834
I Iike him so much, I feeI Iike
I've had 1 0 drinks today.

115
00:08:19,077 --> 00:08:20,339
I've onIy had si<i>x</i>.

116
00:08:22,614 --> 00:08:26,380
I haven't had that feeIing since
I first went out with ChandIer.

117
00:08:28,353 --> 00:08:31,720
-I'II never have that feeIing again.
-You sound Iike a guy.

118
00:08:32,023 --> 00:08:36,050
No, a guy wouId say, ''I'II never
get to sIeep with anyone eIse.''

119
00:08:36,394 --> 00:08:38,760
I'II never sIeep with anyone eIse!

120
00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:44,632
-Are you just reaIizing this now?
-No. Maybe. Yes!

121
00:08:44,969 --> 00:08:49,702
I'm so busy pIanning the wedding,
I forgot about what I'II give up.

122
00:08:50,842 --> 00:08:53,606
I'II never have a first kiss again.

123
00:08:53,778 --> 00:08:55,905
You'II have a Iast kiss.

124
00:09:01,252 --> 00:09:04,710
Can I ask you something? Has
a guy ever had a crush on you?

125
00:09:04,889 --> 00:09:06,914
Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?

126
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,418
A kid in my cIass said
he's in Iove with me.

127
00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:13,619
Whoa!

128
00:09:13,865 --> 00:09:16,356
-Whoa, what?
-Ross has a boyfriend!

129
00:09:17,302 --> 00:09:19,429
I do not have a boyfriend.

130
00:09:19,637 --> 00:09:23,539
There's a guy in one of my cIasses
who has a crush on me.

131
00:09:23,775 --> 00:09:25,333
-ReaIIy?
-Yeah.

132
00:09:25,543 --> 00:09:28,239
Last year, EIizabeth, now this kid....

133
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:32,109
What is it?
Am I giving out some kind of...

134
00:09:32,317 --> 00:09:34,979
...se<i>x</i>y-professor vibe?

135
00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:39,685
Not right now.

136
00:09:40,125 --> 00:09:45,256
The point is, my naturaI charisma has
made him faiI his midterm.

137
00:09:45,463 --> 00:09:47,454
Now I feeI bad for the kid.

138
00:09:47,665 --> 00:09:50,964
I had a crush on a teacher once,
and it was so hard.

139
00:09:51,202 --> 00:09:55,400
I couIdn't concentrate.
I bIushed every time he Iooked at me.

140
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:58,871
You remember what it's Iike
to be 1 9 and in Iove.

141
00:10:01,913 --> 00:10:04,074
-I can cut him some sIack.
-Yeah.

142
00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:09,510
-How'd you get over that teacher?
-I didn't. I got under him.

143
00:10:11,156 --> 00:10:12,350
ProbIem soIved.

144
00:10:16,027 --> 00:10:18,427
-Bye, Phoebe.
-Okay, bye.

145
00:10:23,735 --> 00:10:26,670
-AII right. Bye.
-Bye.

146
00:10:28,773 --> 00:10:30,070
Bye!

147
00:10:31,376 --> 00:10:33,606
-Bye!
-I'II miss you!

148
00:10:33,811 --> 00:10:35,438
I'II miss you too!

149
00:10:41,319 --> 00:10:45,449
We said goodbye at the door
so as not to fIaunt our new Iove.

150
00:10:45,657 --> 00:10:49,423
It's okay.
You don't have to tiptoe around me.

151
00:10:49,627 --> 00:10:51,993
I've thought about it.
You know what?

152
00:10:52,197 --> 00:10:55,360
I'm okay, not having that
new-reIationship feeIing.

153
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:59,336
-I miss you aIready!
-I miss you too!

154
00:11:02,941 --> 00:11:07,173
That's great, but I wouIdn't
trade what I have for that.

155
00:11:07,412 --> 00:11:11,644
I'II be with ChandIer the rest
of my Iife. That makes me happy.

156
00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:17,212
Come sit down. We're taIking
about how our reIationship's deep...

157
00:11:17,455 --> 00:11:20,151
...and meaningfuI.
It is, don't you think?

158
00:11:20,358 --> 00:11:21,552
Oh, totaIIy.

159
00:11:22,961 --> 00:11:24,929
PuII my finger.

160
00:11:28,032 --> 00:11:30,500
Okay, everybody, we're back in 30.

161
00:11:35,406 --> 00:11:38,204
Where have you been?
They're about to give out my award.

162
00:11:38,376 --> 00:11:41,675
Oh, weII, I was in the bathroom,
and Susan Lucci came out of a staII...

163
00:11:41,846 --> 00:11:45,873
...and she had toiIet paper on her shoe,
so I took it.

164
00:11:46,251 --> 00:11:49,652
-Favorite Returning MaIe--
-This is my category!

165
00:11:49,821 --> 00:11:51,448
-Got your speech?
-Got my speech.

166
00:11:51,689 --> 00:11:53,088
Got your gracious-Ioser face?

167
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,929
Try to remember, if you win,
you have to hug me.

168
00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:01,059
Can I s<i>q</i>ueeze your ass?

169
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:03,459
On TV?

170
00:12:04,402 --> 00:12:05,528
Yeah!

171
00:12:05,937 --> 00:12:07,734
They say you can't go home again...

172
00:12:07,905 --> 00:12:12,740
...but these four e<i>x</i>ceptionaI actors have
proven that this is not aIways the case.

173
00:12:12,910 --> 00:12:17,176
In the Favorite Returning MaIe
character category, the nominees are:

174
00:12:17,348 --> 00:12:20,215
John WheeIer from <i>General Hospital.</i>

175
00:12:21,886 --> 00:12:24,980
Gavin Graham from
<i>The Young and the Restless.</i>

176
00:12:26,057 --> 00:12:29,117
Duncan Harrington from <i>Passions.</i>

177
00:12:29,627 --> 00:12:33,119
And Joey Tribbiani from
<i>Days of our Lives.</i>

178
00:12:34,499 --> 00:12:36,797
And the Soapie goes to:

179
00:12:38,770 --> 00:12:41,034
Gavin Graham from
<i>The Young and the Restless.</i>

180
00:12:41,205 --> 00:12:42,900
What the--?!

181
00:12:55,887 --> 00:12:58,583
Presenting the Favorite Supporting
Actress award:

182
00:12:58,756 --> 00:13:01,190
Joey Tribbiani from
<i>Days of our Lives.</i>

183
00:13:08,266 --> 00:13:12,396
Any one of the briIIiant actresses
nominated for this award...

184
00:13:12,637 --> 00:13:17,233
...deserves to take it home.
UnfortunateIy, onIy one can.

185
00:13:19,477 --> 00:13:21,968
The nominees for
Favorite Supporting Actress are:

186
00:13:22,213 --> 00:13:24,477
From <i>Passions</i>, Erin Goff.

187
00:13:29,253 --> 00:13:33,781
From <i>One Life to Live,</i> Mary Lauren
Bishop. <i>All My Children,</i> Sarah Renee.

188
00:13:34,025 --> 00:13:36,823
And from <i>Days of our Lives,</i>
Jessica AshIey.

189
00:13:37,028 --> 00:13:38,655
And the winner is:

190
00:13:39,864 --> 00:13:42,833
Jessica AshIey from <i>Days of our Lives.</i>

191
00:13:44,502 --> 00:13:47,767
UnfortunateIy, Jessica
couIdn't be with us tonight...

192
00:13:47,972 --> 00:13:50,532
...so I'II accept this award
on her behaIf.

193
00:13:54,379 --> 00:13:57,041
And I'm sure that Jessica...

194
00:13:57,315 --> 00:13:59,545
...wants to thank my parents...

195
00:13:59,884 --> 00:14:01,818
...who aIways beIieved in me.

196
00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:04,017
She'd aIso Iike to thank my friends:

197
00:14:04,322 --> 00:14:08,452
ChandIer, Monica, Ross,
Phoebe and RacheI...

198
00:14:08,659 --> 00:14:10,718
...who's sitting right there.

199
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:25,575
Why'd we rush out so fast?

200
00:14:25,743 --> 00:14:29,839
I was this cIose to getting Luke and Laura
to sign Susan Lucci's toiIet paper.

201
00:14:30,014 --> 00:14:34,314
We had to get out of there
because-- Look what I won!

202
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:39,383
Oh, my God. You stoIe her award!

203
00:14:39,590 --> 00:14:43,458
No, no, no. I'm accepting it
on her behaIf.

204
00:14:44,529 --> 00:14:46,827
I don't think you know
what ''behaIf'' means.

205
00:14:47,064 --> 00:14:51,194
Sure I do. It's a verb.
As in ''I be haIf-in' it'' !

206
00:14:55,273 --> 00:14:59,733
-You've got to take this back.
-I shouId've won. I reaIIy wanted it.

207
00:14:59,977 --> 00:15:04,414
She didn't care enough to come to
the thing. It couId aIso be a Grammy.

208
00:15:08,119 --> 00:15:09,279
No, Joey.

209
00:15:09,487 --> 00:15:13,287
No one saw me take it.
There's a whoIe tabIe of them.

210
00:15:13,558 --> 00:15:15,992
Do you want an award you didn't win?

211
00:15:16,260 --> 00:15:20,629
No, I want an award I did win.
But nobody's given me any of those!

212
00:15:21,666 --> 00:15:25,432
If I put it up, when peopIe come over,
they'II see it...

213
00:15:25,636 --> 00:15:27,126
...and think I won it.

214
00:15:27,371 --> 00:15:30,272
Joey, it says
''Best Supporting Actress.''

215
00:15:30,608 --> 00:15:32,872
I can scratch that right off.

216
00:15:34,078 --> 00:15:36,569
This is wrong.
You have to take it back.

217
00:15:36,781 --> 00:15:41,241
You don't want to win an award
this way. You're very taIented.

218
00:15:41,586 --> 00:15:46,649
Someday you'II win one of these for
reaI and that one wiII mean something.

219
00:15:49,193 --> 00:15:52,094
-Oh, aII right.
-AII right? Thank you.

220
00:15:53,130 --> 00:15:55,462
-I'II take it back tomorrow.
-Thank you.

221
00:16:07,278 --> 00:16:09,838
If I can't have it,
you can't have it!

222
00:16:16,654 --> 00:16:20,647
-Professor GeIIer?
-Yes, Mr. Lewis? How can I heIp you?

223
00:16:20,925 --> 00:16:24,224
I know I didn't do weII
on my midterms and stuff.

224
00:16:24,462 --> 00:16:27,625
But I was hoping you couId
change my grade.

225
00:16:27,832 --> 00:16:30,300
And why, e<i>x</i>actIy, wouId I do that?

226
00:16:30,801 --> 00:16:32,701
Because I'm in Iove with you.

227
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:36,732
What?

228
00:16:37,642 --> 00:16:41,339
Yeah. I'm aII in Iove
with you and stuff.

229
00:16:43,648 --> 00:16:46,310
-So couId you change my grade?
-No!

230
00:16:47,418 --> 00:16:49,511
Why not? You changed Ned's grade.

231
00:16:49,754 --> 00:16:53,781
That's different. Because he was
actuaIIy in Iove with me.

232
00:16:54,058 --> 00:16:57,027
No, he's not!
He's totaIIy yanking your chain.

233
00:16:57,228 --> 00:16:59,890
He's done this with
three other teachers.

234
00:17:01,799 --> 00:17:03,926
-What?
-He's got a girIfriend.

235
00:17:05,736 --> 00:17:08,671
I can't beIieve someone
wouId do that for a grade.

236
00:17:08,906 --> 00:17:10,134
I know.

237
00:17:10,341 --> 00:17:11,740
It's awfuI.

238
00:17:13,678 --> 00:17:15,305
I Iove you.

239
00:17:18,716 --> 00:17:21,344
-AII right.
-What? It's true.

240
00:17:21,519 --> 00:17:25,615
Oh, God-- Okay. Oh, you Iove me?
You Iove me?

241
00:17:25,790 --> 00:17:29,556
AII right, fine. You Iove me so much,
come over here and give me a kiss.

242
00:17:43,741 --> 00:17:50,271
You got an 80! You didn't even faiI!
Have some seIf-respect!

243
00:17:54,785 --> 00:17:56,753
-Have you seen ChandIer?
-No, why?

244
00:17:56,954 --> 00:17:59,980
I keep thinking about aII
the things I won't have.

245
00:18:00,257 --> 00:18:03,124
It's freaking me out.
I don't know what to do.

246
00:18:03,361 --> 00:18:04,487
Don't sweat it.

247
00:18:04,729 --> 00:18:09,462
ChandIer's not around, so get it
out of your system. That guy's cute.

248
00:18:11,168 --> 00:18:12,795
Come on, I'm serious.

249
00:18:14,105 --> 00:18:18,439
-I've got to taIk to him about this.
-That's the Iast thing you want to do.

250
00:18:18,876 --> 00:18:22,403
-Why?
-Because you're marrying him!

251
00:18:23,147 --> 00:18:25,115
You gotta heIp me out here.

252
00:18:25,716 --> 00:18:28,981
I've never been engaged.
I've never reaIIy been married.

253
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:31,882
I can onIy teII you
what my mother toId me.

254
00:18:32,123 --> 00:18:36,389
When you have doubts or fears or
an<i>x</i>ieties about a reIationship...

255
00:18:36,627 --> 00:18:39,255
...don't communicate them
to your husband.

256
00:18:40,965 --> 00:18:43,991
I'm not supposed to share
my doubts and fears...

257
00:18:44,235 --> 00:18:47,261
...with the guy I'm spending
the rest of my Iife with?

258
00:18:47,471 --> 00:18:49,166
That is correct. Yes.

259
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:53,740
You're supposed to put aII that stuff
in a IittIe bo<i>x</i> in your mind...

260
00:18:53,944 --> 00:18:55,172
...and Iock it up.

261
00:18:56,147 --> 00:18:57,978
-Your mother toId you this?
-Yes.

262
00:18:58,182 --> 00:19:02,744
The woman who married a bunch of times
and kiIIed herseIf when you were 1 3?

263
00:19:04,088 --> 00:19:05,646
Oh, my God, you're right.

264
00:19:05,890 --> 00:19:08,688
TeII ChandIer.
Hurry, before it's too Iate!

265
00:19:08,926 --> 00:19:13,625
Wait! Does this aIso mean that
putting out doesn't get you Iove?

266
00:19:18,969 --> 00:19:21,961
-I'm gonna meet Jessica AshIey!
-Wait, wait.

267
00:19:22,173 --> 00:19:25,904
Rach, pIease be cooI, okay?
I work with this woman.

268
00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:27,908
Okay, I'm totaIIy cooI.

269
00:19:28,979 --> 00:19:29,968
Come in.

270
00:19:31,649 --> 00:19:33,981
-Hey, Jessica.
-Hey, Jess.

271
00:19:35,352 --> 00:19:36,649
This is my friend RacheI.

272
00:19:36,854 --> 00:19:38,446
-Hi.
-What's up?

273
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,294
Here's your Soapie.
I accepted it for you.

274
00:19:45,496 --> 00:19:49,523
Oh, my God. I won?
Do you have any idea what this means?

275
00:19:52,803 --> 00:19:56,136
You're not gonna put it
on your sheIf or anything?

276
00:19:56,373 --> 00:20:00,707
No, I try to save that for reaI
awards. Now if you'II e<i>x</i>cuse me?

277
00:20:04,148 --> 00:20:05,740
-Take it back?
-AbsoIuteIy.

278
00:20:11,155 --> 00:20:12,554
Yeah, you do!

279
00:20:15,493 --> 00:20:18,485
Honey?
As we get cIoser to the wedding...

280
00:20:18,696 --> 00:20:21,256
...is there anything
you'd Iike to share?

281
00:20:21,532 --> 00:20:25,400
Okay. I think the centerpieces
are too big.

282
00:20:25,603 --> 00:20:28,470
You're wrong.
The centerpieces are fine.

283
00:20:30,074 --> 00:20:34,067
-Do you ever get scared at aII?
-Kind of. They're reaIIy big.

284
00:20:36,013 --> 00:20:41,110
Doesn't it freak you out that you'II
never be with anybody new again?

285
00:20:42,086 --> 00:20:43,075
What?

286
00:20:44,688 --> 00:20:46,053
I Iove you so much.

287
00:20:47,424 --> 00:20:51,383
Sometimes it bothers me that
I'II never have that feeIing.

288
00:20:51,595 --> 00:20:53,688
When you first meet someone...

289
00:20:53,931 --> 00:20:57,423
...and it's new and e<i>x</i>citing.
You know that rush?

290
00:21:00,504 --> 00:21:03,064
No, when I first meet somebody...

291
00:21:03,274 --> 00:21:07,643
...it's mostIy panic, an<i>x</i>iety
and a great deaI of sweating.

292
00:21:09,246 --> 00:21:11,009
Okay. But you're a guy.

293
00:21:11,215 --> 00:21:15,413
Aren't you freaked out that you'II
never sIeep with anybody eIse?

294
00:21:15,619 --> 00:21:18,087
SIeeping with somebody, no.

295
00:21:18,289 --> 00:21:22,248
An<i>x</i>iety, panic and, I'm afraid,
even more sweating.

296
00:21:23,727 --> 00:21:24,955
Even with me?

297
00:21:25,162 --> 00:21:29,758
I was dangerousIy dehydrated the
first si<i>x</i> months of our reIationship.

298
00:21:31,235 --> 00:21:36,332
For me, the rush is knowing that we'II
be together the rest of our Iives.

299
00:21:37,575 --> 00:21:39,440
-ReaIIy?
-WeII, yeah.

300
00:21:40,077 --> 00:21:44,639
Knowing you're having these thoughts,
we're back to panic, an<i>x</i>iety and...

301
00:21:44,849 --> 00:21:48,285
...I'II definiteIy need
some kind of sports drink.

302
00:21:50,588 --> 00:21:54,183
Come here. Oh, you don't
have to worry.

303
00:21:54,425 --> 00:21:59,158
Besides, you know what? I'II have
a Iot of new things with you.

304
00:21:59,363 --> 00:22:03,857
The first time we buy a house. Our
first kid. Our first grandkid.

305
00:22:04,101 --> 00:22:06,569
Water. Water. Water.

306
00:22:08,372 --> 00:22:11,432
Mr. Morse? Can I speak to you
for a moment?

307
00:22:14,345 --> 00:22:18,805
That was a great Iecture today.
Did you get a IittIe haircut?

308
00:22:19,016 --> 00:22:22,611
Yeah, yeah. Do you Iike it?
Do you Iove it?

309
00:22:24,154 --> 00:22:27,021
I want you to know I'm
changing your grade back.

310
00:22:27,224 --> 00:22:29,624
What? Why?

311
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:33,589
I know what you're trying
to puII here. It won't work.

312
00:22:33,797 --> 00:22:38,166
I'm not trying to puII anything.
Look, I Iove you, dude.

313
00:22:39,236 --> 00:22:43,605
I'm not even gonna taIk about this.
This IittIe ''thing'' is over.

314
00:22:43,841 --> 00:22:48,505
I know you have a girIfriend.
And I know about the other professors.

315
00:22:48,746 --> 00:22:52,182
How do you think that makes me feeI?
You used me!

316
00:22:52,383 --> 00:22:54,817
You don't Iove me and you never did!

317
00:22:58,155 --> 00:23:00,715
Professor Winston.
Professor Frederickson.

318
00:23:02,927 --> 00:23:04,918
I'II be right with you.

319
00:23:05,162 --> 00:23:08,529
Don't make this worse and I'II
give you a ''C.'' ShaII we?

320
00:23:15,639 --> 00:23:17,402
I'II be out in a second.

321
00:23:23,213 --> 00:23:25,704
''It's just so une<i>x</i>pected!

322
00:23:27,918 --> 00:23:32,150
I'II teII you, it's such
an honor to just be nominated...

323
00:23:32,356 --> 00:23:34,756
...for a NobeI Prize.

324
00:23:36,527 --> 00:23:40,725
And, you know, to win one
for a massage!

325
00:23:41,131 --> 00:23:45,033
EspeciaIIy just after winning a
Tony Award for Best Actress--''

326
00:23:45,269 --> 00:23:47,100
Our reservations are at 8.

327
00:23:47,304 --> 00:23:50,933
''--in <i>Reservations at Eight</i>
by NeiI Simon.

328
00:23:51,141 --> 00:23:54,872
Thank you, NeiI.
Thank you for the words.''

329
00:23:55,546 --> 00:23:58,242
Finish this Iater.
We're gonna be Iate.

330
00:23:58,449 --> 00:24:01,782
PIease don't pIay the music.
Just one more thing.

331
00:24:01,986 --> 00:24:05,752
''Live from New York, it's <i>Saturday Night</i>!''

332
00:24:11,328 --> 00:24:12,317
[ENGLISH]