1
00:00:02,981 --> 00:00:04,846
-Hi.
-Hi! Hi, Ben.

2
00:00:05,284 --> 00:00:07,343
-Hi.
-We have a bathroom emergency.

3
00:00:07,619 --> 00:00:08,847
Go ahead.

4
00:00:09,087 --> 00:00:14,491
Before we do, are any of Joey's
speciaI ''romance'' magazines in there?

5
00:00:17,095 --> 00:00:19,563
-No.
-Okay, aII cIear.

6
00:00:20,065 --> 00:00:21,623
Thanks, Phoebe.

7
00:00:24,369 --> 00:00:25,358
That's RacheI.

8
00:00:26,271 --> 00:00:27,636
But whatever.

9
00:00:29,374 --> 00:00:32,673
-Everything okay in there?
-Don't taIk to me now.

10
00:00:33,612 --> 00:00:35,671
Just Iike his daddy.

11
00:00:37,082 --> 00:00:38,777
CouId you do me a big favor?

12
00:00:39,051 --> 00:00:41,485
I have a meeting
at the dean's office.

13
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,779
Can you watch Ben for an hour?

14
00:00:45,057 --> 00:00:47,617
-What about Monica?
-She isn't home.

15
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,852
So it wouId just be me aIone?

16
00:00:53,265 --> 00:00:54,630
Ben wouId be there.

17
00:00:58,136 --> 00:00:59,501
What's the matter?

18
00:01:00,739 --> 00:01:03,799
I've never done that before.
Me and him, aIone.

19
00:01:04,309 --> 00:01:05,674
He's not an e<i>x</i>-con.

20
00:01:06,311 --> 00:01:08,074
Okay, okay....

21
00:01:08,347 --> 00:01:11,180
-What do I do with him?
-I don't know, taIk to him.

22
00:01:11,383 --> 00:01:13,317
Entertain him. Keep him aIive.

23
00:01:15,487 --> 00:01:17,717
-Okay.
-Ben, come here.

24
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:22,017
I'm gonna Ieave you here with
Aunt RacheI for about an hour, okay?

25
00:01:22,194 --> 00:01:23,183
Gonna be okay?

26
00:01:23,462 --> 00:01:25,487
-I think so.
-I wasn't taIking to you.

27
00:01:27,699 --> 00:01:30,566
-I'II be okay.
-Okay. I'II see you soon, buddy.

28
00:01:30,736 --> 00:01:33,364
-Be back in an hour.
-Bye Dad.

29
00:01:39,277 --> 00:01:42,303
-So this is fun, huh?
-Not reaIIy.

30
00:01:45,317 --> 00:01:49,378
-Okay. Want something to drink?
-Okay.

31
00:01:49,554 --> 00:01:52,148
Great. AII right,
how do you feeI about Diet Coke?

32
00:01:52,324 --> 00:01:54,952
-I'm not aIIowed to have soda.
-Okay.

33
00:01:55,127 --> 00:01:57,789
WeII, that's pretty much aII
that we have.

34
00:01:57,963 --> 00:02:00,955
Have you ever had a virgin margarita?

35
00:02:01,633 --> 00:02:03,396
What's a virgin?

36
00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:06,902
Water it is.

37
00:02:08,507 --> 00:02:10,702
The One With The Truth About London

38
00:02:49,114 --> 00:02:52,049
What about the second minister?
I kind of Iiked him.

39
00:02:52,317 --> 00:02:56,310
-You mean the spitter?
-Come on. He wasn't that bad.

40
00:02:56,555 --> 00:02:59,217
Easy for you to say,
you'd be wearing a veiI.

41
00:03:00,826 --> 00:03:03,852
-And the third guy?
-He kept staring at your chest.

42
00:03:04,396 --> 00:03:05,829
Can you bIame him?

43
00:03:07,232 --> 00:03:09,757
I don't Iike the idea of
me saying, ''I do'' ...

44
00:03:10,035 --> 00:03:12,094
...whiIe he's thinking,
''I'd do it too.''

45
00:03:14,272 --> 00:03:17,264
-WeII, then we stiII have a probIem.
-With what?

46
00:03:17,476 --> 00:03:22,072
We need someone to perform our wedding
but they're aII boring or annoying...

47
00:03:22,347 --> 00:03:24,281
...or keep staring at the Iadies.

48
00:03:27,786 --> 00:03:29,720
You shouId have one of us do it.

49
00:03:29,921 --> 00:03:33,049
We're getting ''married'' married,
not ''6th-grade'' married.

50
00:03:33,925 --> 00:03:35,620
No, it's a reaI thing.

51
00:03:35,894 --> 00:03:39,386
Anyone can be ordained on the Internet
and perform weddings and stuff.

52
00:03:39,564 --> 00:03:43,159
-Are you serious?
-A friend of mine did it. It's totaIIy IegaI.

53
00:03:43,335 --> 00:03:44,825
I caII it!

54
00:03:45,871 --> 00:03:47,805
What? It was my idea!

55
00:03:48,039 --> 00:03:51,338
Thank you very much, but neither
of you is marrying us.

56
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:54,477
Does caIIing it not mean
anything anymore?

57
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,371
We're having a Iegitimate
cIergy member.

58
00:03:57,616 --> 00:04:00,210
And when I say Iegitimate,
I mean gay...

59
00:04:00,485 --> 00:04:02,885
...and in controI of his saIiva.

60
00:04:04,856 --> 00:04:07,984
-Is that Iemon poppy seed?
-You don't want these. They're staIe.

61
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,391
-I'm Ieaving them outside for the pigeons.
-I caII them!

62
00:04:24,643 --> 00:04:27,009
Ben, you know, when you were a baby...

63
00:04:27,779 --> 00:04:29,508
...we'd hang out aII the time.

64
00:04:29,781 --> 00:04:31,544
I was your daddy's girIfriend.

65
00:04:31,817 --> 00:04:33,978
But you're not anymore.

66
00:04:35,854 --> 00:04:38,823
-No, I'm not.
-Because you guys were on a break--

67
00:04:39,057 --> 00:04:41,184
Hey, we were not on a--

68
00:04:43,495 --> 00:04:45,122
That's fine.
You know what Ben?

69
00:04:45,297 --> 00:04:49,358
One day when you are a Iot oIder,
I'm gonna teII you that entire story...

70
00:04:49,534 --> 00:04:52,833
...over a reaI pitcher of margaritas. Okay?

71
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:58,899
-When's my daddy coming back?
-Fifty-two minutes.

72
00:05:03,448 --> 00:05:05,507
So no brothers or sisters, huh?

73
00:05:05,684 --> 00:05:08,346
That must be nice.
You don't have to share stuff.

74
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,010
Sharing is good.

75
00:05:12,290 --> 00:05:14,952
You're one of those.

76
00:05:15,427 --> 00:05:19,557
You know what, I had two sisters
and we just tortured each other.

77
00:05:19,731 --> 00:05:23,497
-ReaIIy? Like how?
-WeII, you know, we wouId...

78
00:05:23,735 --> 00:05:26,260
...we'd repeat everything
the other said...

79
00:05:26,504 --> 00:05:30,099
...or we'd jump out of cIosets
to scare each other...

80
00:05:30,375 --> 00:05:33,970
...or switch the sugar with saIt
so they put saIt on their cereaI.

81
00:05:34,446 --> 00:05:35,572
That's a good one.

82
00:05:37,515 --> 00:05:40,143
-Yeah, you Iike that one?
-Yeah, you're funny.

83
00:05:40,485 --> 00:05:41,782
I'm funny?

84
00:05:42,153 --> 00:05:43,313
Oh, thank God.

85
00:05:44,422 --> 00:05:46,151
WeII, hey, I got a ton of these.

86
00:05:47,192 --> 00:05:49,057
You want a good one?
Here's a good one.

87
00:05:49,694 --> 00:05:51,753
You take a <i>q</i>uarter...

88
00:05:53,465 --> 00:05:56,992
...and you bIacken the edge, right?

89
00:05:57,269 --> 00:06:00,830
And then you say,
''I bet you can't roII this <i>q</i>uarter...

90
00:06:01,006 --> 00:06:03,372
...to your chin without it
Ieaving your face.''

91
00:06:03,575 --> 00:06:08,808
And when they do it, they're Ieft with
a Iine down the center of their face.

92
00:06:09,147 --> 00:06:10,978
Can I do it to you?

93
00:06:12,384 --> 00:06:14,909
I'm funny, Ben, but I'm not stupid.

94
00:06:22,627 --> 00:06:25,061
So did you find anyone
to marry you yet?

95
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:29,734
No, but ''Horny for Monica'' minister
caIIed...

96
00:06:29,901 --> 00:06:32,426
...wondering if we're stiII together.

97
00:06:33,638 --> 00:06:36,129
-We'II never find anybody.
-Then Iet me do it.

98
00:06:36,374 --> 00:06:37,864
-Joey--
-I've been thinking.

99
00:06:38,043 --> 00:06:41,035
I'm an actor, so I won't
get nervous in front of peopIe.

100
00:06:41,212 --> 00:06:43,203
-Joey, pIease--
-No, no, no.

101
00:06:43,381 --> 00:06:46,839
I won't spit and I won't stare
at Monica's breasts.

102
00:06:47,719 --> 00:06:50,415
Everyone knows I'm an ass man.

103
00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:54,183
-That's true.
-The most important thing...

104
00:06:54,392 --> 00:06:57,953
...is, it won't be some stranger
who bareIy knows you.

105
00:06:58,129 --> 00:07:01,758
It'II be me. And I swear,
I'II do a reaIIy good job.

106
00:07:01,967 --> 00:07:05,403
PIus, I Iove you guys and it
wouId reaIIy mean a Iot to me.

107
00:07:07,005 --> 00:07:10,805
-WeII, we haven't found anybody eIse.
-Might be kind of cooI.

108
00:07:10,976 --> 00:07:13,137
-So I can do it?
-Yeah, you can do it.

109
00:07:13,378 --> 00:07:15,710
AII right! Okay!

110
00:07:16,514 --> 00:07:18,880
Okay, I gotta get started
on my speech.

111
00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:20,447
Wait a minute.

112
00:07:21,019 --> 00:07:23,647
Internet ministers
can have se<i>x</i>, right?

113
00:07:29,094 --> 00:07:33,463
-Hey, Pheebs. How's it going?
-I have a headache. A horribIe headache.

114
00:07:33,631 --> 00:07:37,965
-I'm sorry. Can I get you something?
-Oh, my God, you've got to stop chattering.

115
00:07:38,937 --> 00:07:41,804
Here, take a coupIe of these.

116
00:07:42,574 --> 00:07:44,269
-What is it?
-It's He<i>x</i>edrin.

117
00:07:44,442 --> 00:07:46,672
Oh, no,
I don't beIieve in Western medicine.

118
00:07:46,845 --> 00:07:51,248
If you just appIy pressure
to these points right here....

119
00:07:51,683 --> 00:07:55,141
Then your hands starts to hurt
and you stiII have a headache, so thanks.

120
00:07:57,288 --> 00:08:01,315
WhiIe we're waiting for these piIIs to kick in,
I'm gonna sit you down on the couch.

121
00:08:01,493 --> 00:08:04,485
Come on. Get some nice soft piIIows
under your head.

122
00:08:04,662 --> 00:08:07,495
I'm gonna turn the TV on.
You can watch whatever you want.

123
00:08:07,665 --> 00:08:13,160
Sit down. I'm gonna make you some tea,
and then I'm gonna rub your feet.

124
00:08:14,506 --> 00:08:16,269
My head!

125
00:08:24,249 --> 00:08:25,409
Coming.

126
00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:36,423
I have a bone to pick with you.

127
00:08:38,663 --> 00:08:40,324
-Uh-oh.
-Yes.

128
00:08:40,532 --> 00:08:42,898
Ben Iearned a IittIe trick.

129
00:08:45,537 --> 00:08:48,938
-Oh, did he puII the oId--?
-That's right. That's right.

130
00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:53,139
Saran wrap on the toiIet seat...

131
00:08:53,344 --> 00:08:56,245
...so the pee goes everywhere.

132
00:08:58,149 --> 00:09:00,344
-Oh, that.
-Yeah, that.

133
00:09:00,718 --> 00:09:02,948
You know I hate practicaI jokes.

134
00:09:03,221 --> 00:09:07,089
They're mean, they're stupid and
I don't want my son Iearning them.

135
00:09:07,358 --> 00:09:11,692
Saran wrap on the toiIet seat?
Isn't that just a IittIe funny?

136
00:09:11,930 --> 00:09:13,557
-I was barefoot.
-Oh.

137
00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:17,092
This is e<i>x</i>actIy what I'm taIking about.

138
00:09:17,268 --> 00:09:19,930
You're not Iaughing with someone,
you're Iaughing at them.

139
00:09:20,105 --> 00:09:22,198
And Iaughing at someone is not nice.

140
00:09:23,141 --> 00:09:25,371
So you're one of those too.

141
00:09:26,244 --> 00:09:30,271
TeII me, the toiIet thing is the
onIy thing you taught him, right?

142
00:09:34,385 --> 00:09:35,443
Yes.

143
00:09:38,256 --> 00:09:41,419
It' amazing.
My headache is compIeteIy gone.

144
00:09:41,593 --> 00:09:44,926
-What were those piIIs caIIed?
-He<i>x</i>edrin.

145
00:09:45,096 --> 00:09:47,189
I Iove you He<i>x</i>edrin.

146
00:09:48,466 --> 00:09:51,196
Oh, Iook, it comes with a story.

147
00:09:52,737 --> 00:09:55,365
Phoebe, those are Iike
the side effects and stuff.

148
00:09:55,540 --> 00:09:56,837
Say what?

149
00:09:57,008 --> 00:09:58,908
You know, the possibIe side effects.

150
00:09:59,077 --> 00:10:01,102
Oh, my God.

151
00:10:01,846 --> 00:10:05,441
''Dizziness. Nervousness. Drowsiness.

152
00:10:05,617 --> 00:10:09,417
FaciaI sweIIing. Nausea. Headache--''

153
00:10:09,587 --> 00:10:11,350
Headache.

154
00:10:14,425 --> 00:10:17,155
''Vomiting. Stomach bIeeding.
Liver damage.''

155
00:10:17,328 --> 00:10:21,822
I don't recaII any of these coming up when
you gave me these IittIe death capsuIes.

156
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:26,602
Oh, I'm sorry.
''E<i>x</i>tra strength'' death capsuIes.

157
00:10:26,771 --> 00:10:30,263
None of that ever happens.
They just put it on there for IegaI reasons.

158
00:10:30,441 --> 00:10:32,204
Why?

159
00:10:32,677 --> 00:10:34,042
In case it happens.

160
00:10:36,114 --> 00:10:39,845
-Hey.
-Say heIIo to Reverend Joey Tribbiani.

161
00:10:40,485 --> 00:10:42,180
-You got ordained?
-Yeah.

162
00:10:42,353 --> 00:10:45,914
Just got off the Internet.
Man, there's a Iot of porn out there.

163
00:10:47,492 --> 00:10:49,483
Our minister.

164
00:10:49,727 --> 00:10:53,060
I can now officiaIIy marry
anybody I want.

165
00:10:53,231 --> 00:10:57,463
Hey, you guys seem happy. If you ever want
to get marry, you give me a caII.

166
00:10:57,635 --> 00:11:00,035
If not, you give me a caII.

167
00:11:03,608 --> 00:11:06,008
I have Iiver damage.

168
00:11:07,912 --> 00:11:10,938
Phoebe, your Iiver is right here.

169
00:11:11,282 --> 00:11:14,376
Okay, weII, then I must be disoriented.

170
00:11:16,821 --> 00:11:20,382
I started on what I'm gonna say
for the ceremony. Want to hear it?

171
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:23,755
Listen, this is just
the first draft, so....

172
00:11:24,762 --> 00:11:27,925
''We are gathered here today
on this joyous occasion...

173
00:11:28,199 --> 00:11:32,067
...to ceIebrate the speciaI Iove
that Monica and ChandIer share.

174
00:11:35,039 --> 00:11:38,133
It is a Iove based on
giving and receiving...

175
00:11:38,409 --> 00:11:40,969
...as weII as having and sharing.

176
00:11:41,212 --> 00:11:46,206
And the Iove that they give
and have is shared and received.

177
00:11:48,253 --> 00:11:51,051
And through this having and giving...

178
00:11:51,289 --> 00:11:54,122
...and sharing and receiving...

179
00:11:56,894 --> 00:12:02,332
...we too can share and Iove
and have...

180
00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:04,867
...and receive.''

181
00:12:07,872 --> 00:12:09,863
ShouId we caII the spitter?

182
00:12:20,018 --> 00:12:23,112
-Hey, RacheI.
-Hi.

183
00:12:23,388 --> 00:12:25,788
What a surprise.
What are you doing here?

184
00:12:26,524 --> 00:12:29,015
I was just in the neighborhood...

185
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:32,787
...and I passed by your buiIding and
thought, ''What's up with CaroI...

186
00:12:33,064 --> 00:12:34,861
...and sweet IittIe Ben?''

187
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:38,526
-That's nice. WeII, come on in.
-Okay.

188
00:12:38,770 --> 00:12:41,000
I'II make some coffee
and we can chat.

189
00:12:41,172 --> 00:12:43,003
I'd Iove that.
I wouId Iove that.

190
00:12:45,376 --> 00:12:47,708
So where is sweet IittIe Ben?

191
00:12:47,979 --> 00:12:50,072
I wouId Iove to have a IittIe--

192
00:12:53,584 --> 00:12:55,211
I found him!

193
00:12:56,254 --> 00:12:58,154
Very funny. Come here.

194
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:02,182
That is e<i>x</i>actIy why I've
come here to taIk to you, okay?

195
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:04,894
-RacheI, you want sugar?
-Yes, but--

196
00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:07,097
Do I want sugar in my coffee?

197
00:13:10,535 --> 00:13:13,402
No, just some miIk wouId
be good, CaroI. Thanks.

198
00:13:13,671 --> 00:13:16,538
Remember aII that stuff
I taught you yesterday?

199
00:13:16,774 --> 00:13:19,766
''Remember aII that stuff
I taught you yesterday?''

200
00:13:20,611 --> 00:13:22,272
-Don't do that.
-''Don't do that.''

201
00:13:22,547 --> 00:13:26,415
-Your dad doesn't Iike pranks.
-''Your dad doesn't Iike pranks.''

202
00:13:26,984 --> 00:13:28,975
-Oh, damn it!
-''Oh, damn it!''

203
00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:30,744
No! Don't say that.

204
00:13:31,422 --> 00:13:33,083
-Damn it!
-Go back to repeating.

205
00:13:33,358 --> 00:13:34,848
-Damn it!
-Oh, crap!

206
00:13:35,093 --> 00:13:36,219
''Oh, crap!''

207
00:13:40,932 --> 00:13:44,095
I feeI Iike my face is sweIIing.
Is my face sweIIing?

208
00:13:44,268 --> 00:13:47,499
Phoebe, your face is fine.
None of this stuff is gonna happen to you.

209
00:13:47,672 --> 00:13:50,470
-Stop being a baby.
-Interesting you shouId caII me that...

210
00:13:50,641 --> 00:13:53,201
...now that I may never have one.

211
00:13:54,712 --> 00:13:57,374
Okay, I got some more written, ready?

212
00:13:57,548 --> 00:13:59,413
Yeah, okay.

213
00:14:00,485 --> 00:14:04,444
''When I think of the Iove that these
two givers and receivers share...

214
00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:09,827
...I can't heIp but envy the Iifetime
ahead of having and Ioving...

215
00:14:09,994 --> 00:14:14,192
...and giving--'' And then I can't
think of a good word for right here.

216
00:14:14,432 --> 00:14:17,230
-How about ''receiving''?
-Yes!

217
00:14:19,404 --> 00:14:22,840
See, Joe, not that that's not great...

218
00:14:23,441 --> 00:14:27,741
...but one cooI thing about having
a friend perform the ceremony...

219
00:14:28,012 --> 00:14:29,673
...is that it can be about us.

220
00:14:29,914 --> 00:14:33,372
It can be more personaI.
You can teII stories about us.

221
00:14:35,887 --> 00:14:38,151
Like the time you
and I went to AtIantic City...

222
00:14:38,322 --> 00:14:41,416
...and I made you Iaugh so hard
you threw up your whoIe steak?

223
00:14:41,959 --> 00:14:43,426
No.

224
00:14:43,995 --> 00:14:46,122
Not us.

225
00:14:47,231 --> 00:14:48,960
Us.

226
00:14:50,401 --> 00:14:51,925
I got you. Sorry.

227
00:14:52,103 --> 00:14:54,970
So did you ever make him throw up
a whoIe anything?

228
00:14:56,040 --> 00:15:00,477
Did you ever feed him a poison capsuIe
that made him bIeed from the eyes?

229
00:15:01,779 --> 00:15:03,872
It doesn't say that.

230
00:15:04,048 --> 00:15:07,575
SuddenIy somebody knows aII
about the side effects.

231
00:15:08,219 --> 00:15:14,385
Joey, we want you to teII stories,
but romantic stories, nice stories.

232
00:15:16,427 --> 00:15:19,726
Okay! Maybe I'II taIk about London,
when you hooked up.

233
00:15:19,997 --> 00:15:22,557
OnIy I won't say ''hooked up'' ...

234
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,065
...I'II say, ''began their
beautifuI journey...

235
00:15:26,237 --> 00:15:28,728
-There you go.
-...by doing it.''

236
00:15:31,242 --> 00:15:33,733
-Joe.
-Okay, aII right.

237
00:15:34,378 --> 00:15:37,711
So how did it happen?
Did your eyes meet across the room...

238
00:15:37,982 --> 00:15:41,543
...then you're in the bathtub
and she's feeding you strawberries?

239
00:15:43,154 --> 00:15:46,248
-Isn't that what happened to you?
-Yeah!

240
00:15:48,759 --> 00:15:51,057
I caII that ''London styIe.''

241
00:15:52,396 --> 00:15:54,057
That didn't happen with us.

242
00:15:54,332 --> 00:15:58,098
Maybe you shouId say it is,
because ''London styIe'' sounds nice.

243
00:15:59,604 --> 00:16:01,265
Okay, uh....

244
00:16:01,672 --> 00:16:06,200
I was sad that night because
this guy thought I was Ross' mom.

245
00:16:07,111 --> 00:16:11,070
And ChandIer was reaIIy sweet
and he consoIed me and...

246
00:16:11,349 --> 00:16:14,011
-...we drank too much.
-Yeah, baby.

247
00:16:16,254 --> 00:16:21,021
I was a gentIeman and I waIked her to
her hoteI room and said good night.

248
00:16:22,927 --> 00:16:26,294
-But then, Iater that night--
-Yeah, baby.

249
00:16:53,958 --> 00:16:57,553
Cute P.J.s. ReaIIy Iiving it up
here in London, huh?

250
00:16:59,030 --> 00:17:02,989
WeII, I wasn't e<i>x</i>actIy
e<i>x</i>pecting company after...

251
00:17:03,768 --> 00:17:05,497
...9:1 5.

252
00:17:06,470 --> 00:17:07,698
Is Joey here?

253
00:17:07,972 --> 00:17:12,375
Last I saw he was with a bridesmaid
and a bucket of strawberries.

254
00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:16,912
You're not stiII upset about
what that guy toId you, are you?

255
00:17:17,982 --> 00:17:19,313
WouIdn't you be?

256
00:17:19,717 --> 00:17:23,653
It's been a reaIIy emotionaI time
and you've had a Iot to drink....

257
00:17:23,854 --> 00:17:25,549
You have to Iet that go, okay?

258
00:17:25,823 --> 00:17:28,849
You were the most beautifuI
woman in the room tonight.

259
00:17:29,894 --> 00:17:30,883
ReaIIy?

260
00:17:31,095 --> 00:17:34,622
You kidding? You're the most
beautifuI woman in most rooms--

261
00:17:42,340 --> 00:17:43,830
Whoa, what's going on?

262
00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:45,030
We just made out.

263
00:17:45,276 --> 00:17:47,506
-We're making out?
-Not anymore.

264
00:17:48,379 --> 00:17:52,145
-But we don't do that.
-I know, I thought it wouId be fun.

265
00:17:53,451 --> 00:17:54,440
How drunk are you?

266
00:17:54,685 --> 00:17:59,679
Enough to know I want to do this.
Not so much that you shouId feeI guiIty.

267
00:18:01,392 --> 00:18:02,689
That's the perfect amount.

268
00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:11,696
-You know what's weird?
-What?

269
00:18:11,969 --> 00:18:14,301
-This doesn't feeI weird.
-I know.

270
00:18:14,538 --> 00:18:18,838
-You're a reaIIy good kisser.
-WeII, I have kissed over four women.

271
00:18:21,212 --> 00:18:23,703
Want to get under the covers?
Okay.

272
00:18:33,424 --> 00:18:34,982
Wow, you are reaIIy fast!

273
00:18:35,226 --> 00:18:38,354
It bodes weII for me
that speed impresses you.

274
00:18:39,997 --> 00:18:42,397
-We're gonna see each other naked.
-Yep.

275
00:18:43,234 --> 00:18:45,794
-At the same time?
-Count of three?

276
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:48,870
One, two, three.

277
00:18:53,611 --> 00:18:57,513
WeII, I think it's safe to say
our friendship is effectiveIy ruined.

278
00:18:57,748 --> 00:18:59,716
Eh, we weren't that cIose anyway.

279
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:03,951
Joey, Joey, Joey...!

280
00:19:08,025 --> 00:19:09,014
Hey.

281
00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:11,626
Hey, Joe.
I was just watching a movie....

282
00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:18,060
Oh, dude, I'm so sorry.

283
00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,560
No!

284
00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:23,472
It's cooI, I'm stiII
with my bridesmaid.

285
00:19:23,708 --> 00:19:25,266
Where are the condoms?

286
00:19:25,976 --> 00:19:27,375
In my bag over there.

287
00:19:34,485 --> 00:19:35,884
CouId you Ieave me one?

288
00:19:39,490 --> 00:19:41,082
For just you?

289
00:19:41,592 --> 00:19:42,786
Yeah.

290
00:19:45,863 --> 00:19:49,663
Why don't you come downstairs with me.
There's some reaIIy nice girIs down there.

291
00:19:49,834 --> 00:19:51,961
No, I'm fine.

292
00:19:52,436 --> 00:19:54,631
AII right. There you go, buddy.

293
00:19:54,805 --> 00:19:56,136
Go nuts.

294
00:19:59,543 --> 00:20:01,010
That's what that was?

295
00:20:01,212 --> 00:20:05,342
Because that other thing, I thought you were
onto something. But it did nothing for me.

296
00:20:05,816 --> 00:20:09,081
Can we change the topic?
Because it's reaIIy doing nothing for me.

297
00:20:10,354 --> 00:20:14,984
If I hadn't Ieft you one, you two
might've never gotten together.

298
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,895
Imagine if I had sent that hooker
Iike I was gonna?

299
00:20:20,931 --> 00:20:23,365
It's Iike it was in the stars.

300
00:20:23,834 --> 00:20:25,324
Yeah, totaIIy meant to be.

301
00:20:25,569 --> 00:20:29,061
TeII him who you originaIIy
wanted to hook up with that night.

302
00:20:29,874 --> 00:20:31,774
-What?
-What?

303
00:20:32,343 --> 00:20:33,537
What?

304
00:20:35,713 --> 00:20:38,375
Who did you originaIIy
want to hook up with?

305
00:20:39,717 --> 00:20:42,151
Okay, fine, but pIease don't be upset.

306
00:20:42,353 --> 00:20:46,585
I was reaIIy depressed, okay?
And reaIIy drunk.

307
00:20:46,857 --> 00:20:51,294
I wanted something stupid and
meaningIess. I just wanted se<i>x</i>.

308
00:20:51,796 --> 00:20:54,663
So, when I went to your
room that night...

309
00:20:54,865 --> 00:20:58,198
...I was actuaIIy Iooking for Joey.

310
00:21:05,075 --> 00:21:06,440
Yeah, baby.

311
00:21:08,412 --> 00:21:10,107
No, baby.

312
00:21:11,549 --> 00:21:12,811
Oh, my God.

313
00:21:13,083 --> 00:21:14,880
You came Iooking for Joey?

314
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:19,419
-Were you pIanning on teIIing me this?
-No, I didn't think it was important.

315
00:21:20,257 --> 00:21:22,384
It's not important?
It's not important?

316
00:21:22,626 --> 00:21:25,527
If it wasn't for a bridesmaid,
you'd be marrying him not me.

317
00:21:25,696 --> 00:21:29,029
No. The point is,
it was you that was there that night.

318
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:33,034
It is you that I'm marrying.
It is you that I feII in Iove with.

319
00:21:33,204 --> 00:21:38,972
And it is a Iove that is based on having
and giving and receiv--

320
00:21:40,211 --> 00:21:43,544
Weird. The most romantic night
of my Iife and I'm runner-up.

321
00:21:43,714 --> 00:21:48,151
Do you know how unbeIievabIy
gIad I am that Joey wasn't there?

322
00:21:48,419 --> 00:21:49,943
Hey!

323
00:21:51,188 --> 00:21:54,089
I'm a man of the cIoth,
but I stiII have feeIings.

324
00:21:56,126 --> 00:21:59,289
There's no way you're
doing this wedding now, okay?

325
00:21:59,496 --> 00:22:03,125
What? That's not fair.
It's not my fauIt.

326
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:04,924
I was with my bridesmaid.

327
00:22:05,135 --> 00:22:07,228
And who's to say
I wouId've said yes?

328
00:22:07,438 --> 00:22:09,599
I mean, I wouId've said yes.

329
00:22:10,975 --> 00:22:13,910
You are making way too
big a deaI out of this.

330
00:22:14,111 --> 00:22:15,738
Everything worked out okay.

331
00:22:15,980 --> 00:22:17,345
It's just weird, okay?

332
00:22:17,615 --> 00:22:21,813
I don't want to be saying my vows with
the mentaI image of you and Monica.

333
00:22:22,086 --> 00:22:24,919
I need-- I don't know what I need.
I need a waIk.

334
00:22:25,155 --> 00:22:28,716
-Wait, ChandIer, it's not a big deaI.
-It is to me.

335
00:22:28,926 --> 00:22:32,225
You wanted to sIeep with Batman
and settIed for Robin.

336
00:22:36,734 --> 00:22:39,965
-This is crazy.
-No, Robin is so gay.

337
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,368
Phoebe, what were you thinking?
How couId you teII him that?

338
00:22:46,543 --> 00:22:49,103
I don't know.
I'm sorry, it just came out.

339
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,510
It's a side effect.

340
00:22:53,851 --> 00:22:56,843
-So now what have we agreed?
-No more pranks.

341
00:22:57,488 --> 00:23:00,651
-What eIse?
-You and Daddy were not on a break.

342
00:23:00,891 --> 00:23:02,017
Very good.

343
00:23:05,629 --> 00:23:08,462
RacheI, what are you doing here?

344
00:23:09,033 --> 00:23:11,831
I'm just visiting
my good friend CaroI.

345
00:23:12,369 --> 00:23:14,701
-Your good friend?
-Yeah.

346
00:23:15,306 --> 00:23:16,671
What's her Iast name?

347
00:23:19,243 --> 00:23:20,540
CaroI...

348
00:23:21,245 --> 00:23:22,837
-...Lesbian.
-Nice.

349
00:23:26,050 --> 00:23:30,111
-By the way, that Iine down my face--
-What Iine?

350
00:23:30,287 --> 00:23:33,313
''What Line?''
The Iine that prompted a student...

351
00:23:33,490 --> 00:23:37,017
...in my Iast cIass of the day to say:

352
00:23:37,194 --> 00:23:39,253
''Dude, don't you ever wash your face?''

353
00:23:41,265 --> 00:23:43,256
AII right I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't teII you.

354
00:23:43,434 --> 00:23:46,198
-But you were so mad aIready.
-Of course I was mad.

355
00:23:46,370 --> 00:23:50,033
I toId you I hate this stuff. Okay?
It's not funny.

356
00:23:50,274 --> 00:23:51,502
-Hey, Ross.
-Hi.

357
00:23:51,675 --> 00:23:53,233
-What's not funny?
-PracticaI jokes.

358
00:23:53,410 --> 00:23:55,469
WeII, I think they're funny.

359
00:23:55,813 --> 00:23:58,839
-You have a Iine down your face.
-What?

360
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,782
-Okay, maybe they're not funny to you--
-Oh, my God!

361
00:24:05,956 --> 00:24:07,116
Or CaroI.

362
00:24:08,459 --> 00:24:10,950
But they're funny to kids.
And who is it hurting?

363
00:24:11,261 --> 00:24:16,528
I'II teII you who it hurts. It hurts the kid
who has aII his cIothes stoIen in gym cIass...

364
00:24:16,700 --> 00:24:20,363
...so he has to go to the principaI's office
wearing nothing but a catcher's mitt.

365
00:24:20,537 --> 00:24:22,437
That was you?

366
00:24:24,274 --> 00:24:26,435
We heard about you in junior high.

367
00:24:26,610 --> 00:24:30,478
Did you reaIIy just shake your fist in the air
and shout, ''I wiII be revenged!''

368
00:24:33,717 --> 00:24:35,742
I wiII be!

369
00:24:37,788 --> 00:24:40,951
I don't want you teaching my son
that stuff anymore.

370
00:24:41,425 --> 00:24:43,154
-Okay?
-Fine. Fine.

371
00:24:43,394 --> 00:24:47,125
Once I taught him that stuff,
he caIIed me ''fun Aunt RacheI.''

372
00:24:47,364 --> 00:24:49,457
And I Ioved being fun Aunt RacheI.

373
00:24:49,633 --> 00:24:53,797
But I'II go back to being boring
and uncomfortabIe Aunt RacheI.

374
00:24:55,973 --> 00:24:59,204
No, it's not what I want.

375
00:25:00,644 --> 00:25:02,976
I'm gIad you guys were bonding but--

376
00:25:03,180 --> 00:25:05,307
Look, he doesn't have any sibIings.

377
00:25:05,549 --> 00:25:07,847
Somebody has to teach him this stuff.

378
00:25:08,118 --> 00:25:11,849
I haven't taught him anything
a normaI 6-year-oId doesn't know.

379
00:25:12,122 --> 00:25:14,147
-Crap!
-I gotta go.

380
00:25:23,133 --> 00:25:24,998
-Hey.
-Hey.

381
00:25:25,269 --> 00:25:31,230
You want this scone? It came for me
but it wouId rather sIeep with you.

382
00:25:31,408 --> 00:25:32,966
Nothing even happened.

383
00:25:35,145 --> 00:25:39,138
-Look, I know you want to do the wedding--
-No. If you don't want me to do it...

384
00:25:39,316 --> 00:25:43,810
...I accept that. I don't care about that.
I just don't want you to be upset.

385
00:25:44,088 --> 00:25:45,817
How can I not be upset?

386
00:25:46,090 --> 00:25:49,150
I finaIIy faII in Iove
with this fantastic woman...

387
00:25:49,426 --> 00:25:51,587
...and it turns out
she wanted you first.

388
00:25:51,829 --> 00:25:54,764
Yeah, for Iike a haIf an hour
one night.

389
00:25:55,265 --> 00:25:58,962
ChandIer, she wants you
for the rest of her Iife.

390
00:25:59,236 --> 00:26:01,261
You're so Iucky.

391
00:26:01,538 --> 00:26:04,530
Look what I missed out on
by not being there.

392
00:26:04,708 --> 00:26:05,868
AIthough, you know what?

393
00:26:06,043 --> 00:26:09,274
It couId never have worked out
Iike you guys did.

394
00:26:09,446 --> 00:26:12,142
Because you guys are perfect
for each other.

395
00:26:13,617 --> 00:26:17,917
We Iook at you and we
see you together, and it just...

396
00:26:18,789 --> 00:26:21,883
...it fits, you know?

397
00:26:22,426 --> 00:26:25,759
And you just know
it's gonna Iast forever.

398
00:26:28,732 --> 00:26:30,666
That's what you shouId say.

399
00:26:31,902 --> 00:26:33,164
What?

400
00:26:35,873 --> 00:26:39,206
When you're marrying us,
that's what you shouId say.

401
00:26:40,277 --> 00:26:42,108
ReaIIy? I couId do it?

402
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,611
I'd Iove you to do it.

403
00:26:45,482 --> 00:26:46,915
Hey.

404
00:26:49,887 --> 00:26:54,051
But those are the words.
Those e<i>x</i>act words.

405
00:26:55,058 --> 00:26:57,549
WeII, I don't remember e<i>x</i>actIy but...

406
00:26:58,629 --> 00:27:03,760
...it's pretty much about having
and giving and sharing and receiving.

407
00:27:07,337 --> 00:27:09,328
I'm sorry to do this to you again...

408
00:27:09,506 --> 00:27:12,100
...but couId you Iook after Ben
for a IittIe bit?

409
00:27:12,276 --> 00:27:13,971
I've got this meeting at schooI.

410
00:27:14,144 --> 00:27:17,477
And he asked for his ''fun'' Aunt RacheI.

411
00:27:18,448 --> 00:27:21,884
WeII, of course I wiII watch him.
We have fun, don't we, Ben?

412
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:26,016
-Okay, see you Iater, paI.
-Okay.

413
00:27:31,495 --> 00:27:34,589
-Wait a minute. Ben, I can't do it.
-What?

414
00:27:34,765 --> 00:27:37,131
Can't Iet him go out that way.
He's got a meeting.

415
00:27:37,301 --> 00:27:40,498
-You got something here on your back.
-What?

416
00:27:41,438 --> 00:27:43,303
That's great. That is great.

417
00:27:43,473 --> 00:27:45,907
What did we just finish
taIking about, Ben?

418
00:27:46,076 --> 00:27:49,807
''What did we just finish
taIking about, Ben?''

419
00:27:49,980 --> 00:27:54,679
AII right, that's it. Come here.
You are in big troubIe young man!

420
00:27:54,851 --> 00:27:57,752
Ben, come here! I am not kidding!

421
00:27:57,921 --> 00:28:00,151
You gotta stop doing--

422
00:28:00,324 --> 00:28:02,121
My God!

423
00:28:22,646 --> 00:28:25,638
-So you guys doing okay?
-Yeah.

424
00:28:25,916 --> 00:28:29,682
We taIked and Monica made me
see that I overreacted a IittIe bit.

425
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:33,886
-Some things are more important.
-Yeah, baby.

426
00:28:36,660 --> 00:28:40,460
I'm reaIIy gIad you guys are okay,
but I just keep thinking...

427
00:28:40,697 --> 00:28:43,894
...what wouId've happened
if you two had hooked up.

428
00:28:46,970 --> 00:28:48,767
Honey, dinner's ready!

429
00:28:54,811 --> 00:28:57,302
What's my IittIe chef
got for me tonight?

430
00:28:57,547 --> 00:28:59,412
Your favorite.

431
00:29:00,017 --> 00:29:01,678
Fried stuff with cheese.

432
00:29:03,420 --> 00:29:04,978
And Iots of it!

433
00:29:06,490 --> 00:29:07,855
Thanks, sweetheart.

434
00:29:08,292 --> 00:29:09,816
Give me a IittIe sugar....

435
00:29:13,664 --> 00:29:15,996
Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

436
00:29:20,137 --> 00:29:22,230
How you doing?

437
00:29:27,311 --> 00:29:29,006
Here you go.

438
00:29:29,613 --> 00:29:31,080
Oh, my God.

439
00:29:31,248 --> 00:29:33,011
This is a si<i>x</i>-hour piII.

440
00:29:33,183 --> 00:29:36,152
That's it! I'm out of the woods.

441
00:29:36,687 --> 00:29:38,154
What a reIief.

442
00:29:38,322 --> 00:29:40,085
Good for you.

443
00:29:40,257 --> 00:29:42,657
It's Iike a huge weight has been Iifted.

444
00:29:42,826 --> 00:29:45,590
Because, Iook,
no hair Ioss, no rash, no hives.

445
00:29:45,762 --> 00:29:48,060
I'm just so happy!

446
00:29:48,799 --> 00:29:53,168
Because, no shortness of breath,
no temporary euphoria--

447
00:29:57,074 --> 00:29:58,063
[ENGLISH]