1 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:03,689 The reason I asked you to brunch... 2 00:00:03,905 --> 00:00:07,060 ...is because I've been thinking about my maid of honor. 3 00:00:07,350 --> 00:00:09,295 Oh, my God. This is it. Oh. 4 00:00:10,237 --> 00:00:11,340 I hope it's you. 5 00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:13,468 - I hope it's you. - Me too. 6 00:00:15,247 --> 00:00:17,430 First of all, I love you both so much. 7 00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:21,359 - You're both so important to me. - Blah, blah, blah. Who is it? 8 00:00:22,728 --> 00:00:25,301 I was thinking we could come up with a system... 9 00:00:25,545 --> 00:00:27,692 ...where we trade off being maid of honor. 10 00:00:27,947 --> 00:00:31,173 - Hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine... - Yes! Oh. 11 00:00:33,026 --> 00:00:34,271 Hypothetically. 12 00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:35,624 Still. 13 00:00:37,096 --> 00:00:41,059 If Phoebe were mine, Rachel would be Phoebe's, I'd be Rachel's. 14 00:00:41,271 --> 00:00:43,845 We all get to do it and no one gets upset. 15 00:00:44,264 --> 00:00:48,333 - That's a pretty good idea. - I'll do that. So, who's yours? 16 00:00:49,587 --> 00:00:53,193 Well, that's the best part. You guys get to decide. 17 00:00:55,571 --> 00:00:58,418 - Why is that the best part? - I don't have to. 18 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:04,855 Of course we'll help you decide. We'll do anything we can to help you. 19 00:01:05,139 --> 00:01:06,598 I'd like to make a toast. 20 00:01:07,469 --> 00:01:09,936 To the future Mrs. Chandler Bing... 21 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:14,878 ...my best friend and truly one of the nicest people that... 22 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:16,957 - Really not deciding. - Fine. 23 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,481 Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing. 24 00:01:21,769 --> 00:01:24,130 - You're marrying Chandler Bing? - Yeah. 25 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:26,708 Good luck! 26 00:01:28,414 --> 00:01:30,846 Oh, and good luck to you too! 27 00:01:31,406 --> 00:01:33,280 What a nice lady. 28 00:01:34,955 --> 00:01:39,083 The One With Nap Partners 29 00:02:13,957 --> 00:02:16,353 Yeah! 30 00:02:16,705 --> 00:02:20,003 - Die Hard, still great. - Yep. 31 00:02:20,254 --> 00:02:22,021 Let's make it a double feature? 32 00:02:22,271 --> 00:02:23,481 What else you rent? 33 00:02:24,116 --> 00:02:26,060 Die Hard 2. 34 00:02:27,073 --> 00:02:28,982 Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again. 35 00:02:30,413 --> 00:02:34,446 Well, we'll watch it a second time and it's Die Hard 2. 36 00:02:35,631 --> 00:02:38,264 - Joey, we just saw it. - And? 37 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,501 It would be cool to see it again! 38 00:02:40,816 --> 00:02:43,556 - Yeah! Die Hard! - Die Hard! 39 00:02:45,269 --> 00:02:47,250 Dude, you didn't say Die Hard. 40 00:02:48,226 --> 00:02:49,756 Is everything okay? 41 00:02:50,418 --> 00:02:52,671 Yeah, I just got plans. 42 00:02:53,097 --> 00:02:56,252 Well, John McClane had plans. 43 00:02:57,203 --> 00:03:00,228 I want to leave before Joey gets all worked up... 44 00:03:00,473 --> 00:03:02,762 ...and starts calling everybody "bitch." 45 00:03:04,265 --> 00:03:06,898 What are you talking about, bitch? 46 00:03:10,006 --> 00:03:11,465 - Hey, Rachel. - Yeah? 47 00:03:11,746 --> 00:03:15,256 When I get married, will you be my maid of honor? 48 00:03:15,503 --> 00:03:16,890 Really? 49 00:03:17,417 --> 00:03:20,406 Oh, my God, Phoebe. I mean, I'm just... 50 00:03:20,687 --> 00:03:22,075 Wait a minute. 51 00:03:25,106 --> 00:03:29,068 If I'm your maid of honor, that means that you are Monica's. 52 00:03:29,315 --> 00:03:30,631 Oh. 53 00:03:32,238 --> 00:03:34,183 Well, if that's what you want. 54 00:03:35,474 --> 00:03:38,047 No way, Phoebe. I want to be Monica's. 55 00:03:38,326 --> 00:03:41,588 - Why does it even matter? - Why does it matter to you? 56 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,023 Because this one is now. 57 00:03:44,693 --> 00:03:47,054 And it's two of our best friends. 58 00:03:47,337 --> 00:03:49,769 And who knows what you're gonna marry. 59 00:03:51,721 --> 00:03:54,983 What if I marry Ross? Or Joey? 60 00:03:56,418 --> 00:03:57,842 You wouldn't. 61 00:03:59,828 --> 00:04:03,826 Okay, look, Rachel. I know you really want to do this... 62 00:04:04,107 --> 00:04:07,369 ...but I've never been maid of honor to anyone before. 63 00:04:07,656 --> 00:04:09,708 I know you've done it at least twice. 64 00:04:09,987 --> 00:04:12,798 - Yeah, but Phoebe... - Please let me finish. 65 00:04:14,579 --> 00:04:16,133 I guess that was it. 66 00:04:18,093 --> 00:04:19,267 Okay. 67 00:04:19,798 --> 00:04:23,688 Since you've never done it before, you can be Monica's maid of honor. 68 00:04:23,939 --> 00:04:25,920 Oh, thank you so much! 69 00:04:27,661 --> 00:04:28,835 Yay. 70 00:04:31,592 --> 00:04:33,644 I'm gonna marry someone good. 71 00:04:34,585 --> 00:04:35,593 Oh, I know. 72 00:04:35,907 --> 00:04:37,401 Better than Chandler. 73 00:04:58,104 --> 00:05:00,156 - What happened? - I don't know. 74 00:05:05,863 --> 00:05:08,603 We fell asleep. That is all. 75 00:05:08,889 --> 00:05:11,320 Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. 76 00:05:13,134 --> 00:05:15,007 All right, well, I'd better go. 77 00:05:15,257 --> 00:05:17,201 - I think that would be best. - Yeah. 78 00:05:17,448 --> 00:05:19,073 - I'll talk to you later. - Okay. 79 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:22,731 - But not about this. - No, never. Never! 80 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,502 - Bye. - No touch. No touch. 81 00:05:32,234 --> 00:05:35,116 Die Hard! 82 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:42,175 Opening a topless carwash was a great idea. 83 00:05:42,394 --> 00:05:45,205 We'll definitely have enough money to open our bikini shop. 84 00:05:50,326 --> 00:05:53,137 Now we mince the shallots like this. 85 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:57,136 Look, honey, the nice people are chopping shallots. 86 00:05:58,119 --> 00:06:01,524 Maybe if they chop enough of them, they can open that bikini shot. 87 00:06:03,338 --> 00:06:05,247 Hey, a weird thing happened at brunch. 88 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,998 This woman overheard that I was marrying you... 89 00:06:08,278 --> 00:06:10,081 ...and she wished me good luck. 90 00:06:10,540 --> 00:06:11,512 That's sweet. 91 00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:14,674 No, it was more like a "good luck." 92 00:06:15,933 --> 00:06:20,903 Well, do you think she meant, "Good luck taming that wild stallion." 93 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:25,457 Not judging you, a little gay. 94 00:06:25,744 --> 00:06:27,820 So, what did this woman look like? 95 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,433 She was, like, 30, dark hair, attractive. 96 00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:35,062 Any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror? 97 00:06:35,798 --> 00:06:37,875 Was it someone you dated in college? 98 00:06:38,130 --> 00:06:40,348 No, I only dated two girls in college... 99 00:06:40,635 --> 00:06:43,968 ...both blond, both not attractive. 100 00:06:45,088 --> 00:06:46,547 Let me check this out. 101 00:06:46,758 --> 00:06:49,391 - What are you doing? - Well, let's see. 102 00:06:49,681 --> 00:06:52,457 Okay, is that her? 103 00:06:52,708 --> 00:06:54,024 Oh, my God, yes! 104 00:06:54,308 --> 00:06:57,949 - Who is she? - Julie Graff, my camp girlfriend. 105 00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:00,807 Did you break up with her? 106 00:07:01,579 --> 00:07:03,596 No, we're still together. 107 00:07:07,842 --> 00:07:11,140 We went out for two summers and then I broke up with her. 108 00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,502 - Why? - She came back the third summer... 109 00:07:13,722 --> 00:07:17,305 ...and she'd gotten really fa... 110 00:07:20,193 --> 00:07:22,790 - Fat? - I did not say fat. 111 00:07:23,116 --> 00:07:25,689 I said fa... 112 00:07:26,838 --> 00:07:29,756 You broke up with a girl because she was fat? 113 00:07:29,969 --> 00:07:31,737 Yeah. Yeah. 114 00:07:32,092 --> 00:07:36,327 But it was a really long time ago. Does she still feel bad? 115 00:07:36,546 --> 00:07:37,862 Apparently she does. 116 00:07:38,111 --> 00:07:40,993 You know what they say: "Elephants never forget." 117 00:07:45,278 --> 00:07:47,674 Seriously, good luck marrying me. 118 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:55,670 Rach, wanna come with me Friday night? I'm gonna check out some male strippers. 119 00:07:55,855 --> 00:07:57,728 For the bachelorette party? 120 00:07:58,569 --> 00:07:59,992 Yes. 121 00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:03,292 Hey, what's going on? 122 00:08:03,578 --> 00:08:05,522 She's Monica's maid of honor. 123 00:08:05,771 --> 00:08:10,112 Hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs. 124 00:08:12,416 --> 00:08:14,989 You have been maid of honor before? 125 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:18,982 You see? This is exactly why you shouldn't lie. 126 00:08:19,895 --> 00:08:21,876 That's it. I am maid of honor. 127 00:08:22,157 --> 00:08:24,173 - No, I am. - How come you are? 128 00:08:24,453 --> 00:08:27,086 Because I cared enough to lie. 129 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,077 Hey, I could help you decide who should do it. 130 00:08:30,368 --> 00:08:31,791 We could have an audition. 131 00:08:32,073 --> 00:08:35,098 See how you'd handle maid-of-honor-type situations. 132 00:08:35,343 --> 00:08:37,525 - What do you mean? - When I want a job... 133 00:08:37,813 --> 00:08:40,968 ...I audition and if I'm the best of the people they see... 134 00:08:41,258 --> 00:08:42,017 ...I get the part. 135 00:08:42,475 --> 00:08:45,013 Then they send you a script. You go to the set. 136 00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:47,204 You rehearse and you have wardrobe fittings. 137 00:08:47,451 --> 00:08:49,360 Then you shoot your part. And it's great. 138 00:08:49,573 --> 00:08:52,527 But right after that, you're back out on the street looking for work again. 139 00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:55,171 Right back where you started. 140 00:08:55,383 --> 00:09:00,175 So I gotta say, I don't think a career in acting is the right choice for you two. 141 00:09:05,820 --> 00:09:09,082 Joey, the maid of honor thing. 142 00:09:09,995 --> 00:09:11,976 Right. 143 00:09:13,196 --> 00:09:16,078 So, okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it? 144 00:09:16,363 --> 00:09:18,545 Oh, me and Ross can be the judges. 145 00:09:18,972 --> 00:09:21,641 - It's better than us deciding. - Oh, this is crazy. 146 00:09:21,964 --> 00:09:25,511 - Can't we just flip a coin? - No, coins hate me. 147 00:09:26,487 --> 00:09:30,306 Okay, fine. You know what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. 148 00:09:31,253 --> 00:09:32,462 Hi! 149 00:09:32,749 --> 00:09:34,896 Ross, sweetie. 150 00:09:37,168 --> 00:09:40,015 Hey there, handsome thing. 151 00:09:43,605 --> 00:09:48,018 Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Giorgio. 152 00:09:54,425 --> 00:09:55,528 Hey. 153 00:09:55,851 --> 00:09:58,841 Just brought back your videos. 154 00:09:59,087 --> 00:10:02,977 Hey, Ross. Look, I think we need to talk about before. 155 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,171 No. No, we don't. 156 00:10:05,662 --> 00:10:06,563 Yes, we do. 157 00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:10,279 Now, look. That was the best nap I ever had. 158 00:10:15,126 --> 00:10:17,795 I don't know what you're talking about. 159 00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:20,026 Come on, admit it. 160 00:10:20,275 --> 00:10:22,327 That was the best nap you ever had. 161 00:10:23,546 --> 00:10:25,099 I've had better. 162 00:10:26,954 --> 00:10:28,722 Okay. When? 163 00:10:30,469 --> 00:10:33,387 All right! All right! It was the best nap ever! 164 00:10:33,774 --> 00:10:35,090 I said it, okay? 165 00:10:35,340 --> 00:10:37,285 But it's over, Joey! 166 00:10:39,411 --> 00:10:40,869 I want to do it again. 167 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,886 We can't do it again. 168 00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:49,531 - Why not? - Because it's weird! 169 00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:52,416 Fine. 170 00:10:53,849 --> 00:10:54,821 You want a drink? 171 00:10:55,101 --> 00:10:58,577 - Sure. What do you got? - Warm milk and Excedrin PM. 172 00:11:05,852 --> 00:11:07,310 Chandler. 173 00:11:08,287 --> 00:11:10,470 I just figured out who you are. 174 00:11:10,758 --> 00:11:12,940 Can you figure out what I'm doing? 175 00:11:14,411 --> 00:11:16,985 - You're Louis Posen. - Who? 176 00:11:17,925 --> 00:11:20,392 He was my best friend in fifth grade. 177 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:23,972 One day, I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. 178 00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:25,395 Do you know why? 179 00:11:25,683 --> 00:11:29,917 Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom? 180 00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:33,641 No, but because he thought I was too fa... 181 00:11:35,842 --> 00:11:39,140 Every time I think about it, I feel as bad as I did then. 182 00:11:39,391 --> 00:11:41,965 I really think you should apologize to Julie. 183 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:45,305 Honey, are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago. 184 00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:49,263 It would make me feel better if Louis apologized to me. 185 00:11:49,550 --> 00:11:53,026 I'll do it. But I warn you, this may make me a better person. 186 00:11:53,273 --> 00:11:55,942 And that is not the man you fell in love with. 187 00:11:58,422 --> 00:11:59,845 - I can live with that. - Okay. 188 00:12:00,092 --> 00:12:03,497 - So how do we find her. - She probably lives in the city. 189 00:12:03,746 --> 00:12:06,522 - She was eating in that restaurant. - I'll bet she was. 190 00:12:10,843 --> 00:12:12,467 What is wrong with me? 191 00:12:14,566 --> 00:12:18,456 Okay, we'll give you hypothetical maid-of-honor situations. 192 00:12:18,706 --> 00:12:21,102 You'll be scored on a scale of one to ten. 193 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,712 - One being the highest. - Ten is the highest. 194 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:27,186 - Why is 10 the highest? - Because it's the highest. 195 00:12:30,570 --> 00:12:32,372 Okay, Rachel, you're up first. 196 00:12:32,657 --> 00:12:35,290 Situation number one: You're with Monica. 197 00:12:35,614 --> 00:12:39,742 The wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! 198 00:12:40,033 --> 00:12:42,216 I don't want to marry Chandler. 199 00:12:42,503 --> 00:12:44,650 - I've got cold feet. - It's gonna be okay. 200 00:12:44,904 --> 00:12:47,335 One man the rest of my life? I don't know. 201 00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:50,050 This means I'll never get to sleep with Joey. 202 00:12:52,558 --> 00:12:54,575 Look, Monica... 203 00:12:54,890 --> 00:12:56,906 ...getting cold feet is very common. 204 00:12:57,186 --> 00:12:59,511 It's just because of all the anticipation. 205 00:12:59,830 --> 00:13:03,828 And you just have to remember that you love Chandler. 206 00:13:04,109 --> 00:13:06,612 And also, I ran out on a wedding. 207 00:13:06,927 --> 00:13:09,323 You don't get to keep the gifts. 208 00:13:10,336 --> 00:13:12,412 Drawing on your own experience. 209 00:13:12,702 --> 00:13:13,876 Very good. 210 00:13:14,164 --> 00:13:16,453 Yes, very nice, Rachel. 211 00:13:16,703 --> 00:13:17,877 Thank you, judges. 212 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,182 - Kiss ass. - Oh. 213 00:13:21,957 --> 00:13:24,389 - Okay, Phoebe. - Yes, Your Honor. 214 00:13:25,436 --> 00:13:27,168 We're now in the ceremony. 215 00:13:27,385 --> 00:13:29,366 Monica is about to say, "I do"... 216 00:13:29,716 --> 00:13:32,005 ...when her drunk uncle starts yelling. 217 00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:33,536 What do you do? Go! 218 00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:36,394 When Monica was a little girl... 219 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,478 ...I remember that... 220 00:13:41,406 --> 00:13:42,829 Ow! 221 00:13:43,111 --> 00:13:44,499 - Very good! - Oh. 222 00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:47,105 Yes, excellent. Perfect score. 223 00:13:47,424 --> 00:13:50,758 She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony! 224 00:13:51,043 --> 00:13:53,747 Hey, you want a little taste of Pheebs? 225 00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,608 Ladies, please. Please. 226 00:13:56,818 --> 00:13:59,973 Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. 227 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,175 The wedding is about to start. 228 00:14:02,385 --> 00:14:06,976 You walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. 229 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,751 I'll be Monica. Go! 230 00:14:08,961 --> 00:14:10,514 No, no, no! 231 00:14:13,588 --> 00:14:15,605 This situation is not sanctioned! 232 00:14:17,972 --> 00:14:20,439 Now, we're moving on to the next one. 233 00:14:20,686 --> 00:14:22,275 Okay. 234 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:28,755 It is time for you to give your maid-of-honor speech. 235 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,495 We haven't even prepared... 236 00:14:30,741 --> 00:14:33,029 - Go! - Okay, okay, okay. 237 00:14:34,359 --> 00:14:36,684 Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as... 238 00:14:37,003 --> 00:14:41,416 Okay, no! Forget that! That sucks! Okay, never mind. Forget it. 239 00:14:41,665 --> 00:14:46,565 I met... I met Monica when we were just a couple of 6-year-olds... 240 00:14:46,848 --> 00:14:51,712 ...and became friends with Chandler when he was 25... 241 00:14:51,998 --> 00:14:54,287 ...although he seemed like a 6-year-old. 242 00:14:54,990 --> 00:14:56,520 Oh. 243 00:14:57,321 --> 00:14:59,504 Thank you. Thank you very much. 244 00:15:01,496 --> 00:15:04,166 I've known them separately and together. 245 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:09,529 To know them as a couple is to know that you are in the presence of love. 246 00:15:09,916 --> 00:15:13,036 So I would like to raise my glass... 247 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,949 ...to Monica and Chandler... 248 00:15:15,204 --> 00:15:19,652 ...and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. 249 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:23,516 I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey. 250 00:15:24,563 --> 00:15:25,986 Wow. 251 00:15:27,346 --> 00:15:29,529 - Great speech. - Yeah, it really was. 252 00:15:29,782 --> 00:15:30,813 Oh, thanks. 253 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:36,004 Okay, Phoebe, I guess you're next. Although I really don't see the point. 254 00:15:39,558 --> 00:15:40,626 Okay. 255 00:15:42,864 --> 00:15:46,268 I can't believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. 256 00:15:46,552 --> 00:15:49,054 I remember talking about this day with Rachel... 257 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:52,076 ...while we were showering together, naked. 258 00:15:59,738 --> 00:16:01,683 And she's back in the game! 259 00:16:11,566 --> 00:16:12,538 Julie. Hi. 260 00:16:12,784 --> 00:16:15,038 Chandler Bing. I guess you remember me. 261 00:16:15,394 --> 00:16:17,339 Hello, Skidmark. 262 00:16:20,299 --> 00:16:22,552 It's a nickname. I'll explain later. 263 00:16:23,118 --> 00:16:24,612 It's pretty clear. 264 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:30,909 I owe you a long, overdue apology. 265 00:16:31,189 --> 00:16:34,594 I shouldn't have broken up with you because of your weight. 266 00:16:35,504 --> 00:16:37,342 That's why you broke up with me? 267 00:16:40,896 --> 00:16:42,805 You didn't know that? 268 00:16:44,792 --> 00:16:47,081 Well, I guess my work here is done. 269 00:16:51,716 --> 00:16:54,218 Can I get you guys something to drink while you tabulate? 270 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:57,097 Actually, the final vote has been tallied. 271 00:16:57,317 --> 00:17:00,378 - I'll take a cocoa. - Too late. 272 00:17:01,075 --> 00:17:05,832 But first of all, I would like to say you both performed very well, okay? 273 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:07,579 You should be proud. 274 00:17:07,895 --> 00:17:12,616 And I'd also like to say, in this competition, there are no losers. 275 00:17:12,905 --> 00:17:15,158 Well, except Rachel. Damn it! 276 00:17:16,801 --> 00:17:18,355 Really? I won. 277 00:17:18,645 --> 00:17:21,527 - What? - I'm sorry, Rach, it was really close. 278 00:17:21,776 --> 00:17:25,525 - Well, then I demand a recount! - Actually, it wasn't that close. 279 00:17:25,743 --> 00:17:28,803 You know what? Your thing was so stupid anyway. 280 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,266 We're gonna flip a coin, all right? 281 00:17:31,866 --> 00:17:33,040 Heads. 282 00:17:35,136 --> 00:17:37,639 What? The coins have finally forgiven me! 283 00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:42,437 Know what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her... 284 00:17:42,755 --> 00:17:47,761 ...vegetarian-voodoo-goddess-circle-y shower. 285 00:17:48,427 --> 00:17:52,804 Rach, it's gonna be okay. You guys are the best! 286 00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:58,819 Boy, I tell you. That judging stuff took a lot out of me. 287 00:17:59,073 --> 00:18:00,176 - Yeah? - Yeah. 288 00:18:00,465 --> 00:18:04,664 Thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. 289 00:18:07,945 --> 00:18:10,341 Why would I care about that? 290 00:18:11,702 --> 00:18:14,691 No reason. I'm just saying that... 291 00:18:15,738 --> 00:18:17,197 ...that's where I'll be. 292 00:18:38,178 --> 00:18:40,848 As bad as that went, I actually enjoyed myself. 293 00:18:41,137 --> 00:18:45,443 I think that I'm going to apologize for all the stupid things that I do. 294 00:18:45,694 --> 00:18:48,161 Why don't you just stop doing stupid things? 295 00:18:48,512 --> 00:18:52,509 - Then you wouldn't have to apologize. - I'd love it if I could do both. 296 00:18:55,471 --> 00:18:58,460 All right, I have to ask. 297 00:18:58,985 --> 00:18:59,993 What? 298 00:19:01,315 --> 00:19:03,568 Will you break up with me if I get fat? 299 00:19:03,785 --> 00:19:04,924 What? 300 00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:08,475 You broke up with Julie. How much weight did she gain? 301 00:19:08,726 --> 00:19:10,979 A hundred and forty-five pounds. 302 00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:13,693 In one year? 303 00:19:14,049 --> 00:19:16,160 My God, what did she eat? Her family? 304 00:19:18,746 --> 00:19:20,335 That's not the point. 305 00:19:20,590 --> 00:19:24,480 I know it was a stupid reason to break up with someone, but I was 15. 306 00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:28,929 Yeah, well, that's not the only time this was an issue. 307 00:19:30,471 --> 00:19:33,425 You remember when you spent Thanksgiving with us? 308 00:19:33,671 --> 00:19:34,703 You called me fat. 309 00:19:35,029 --> 00:19:36,132 Wait a minute. 310 00:19:36,386 --> 00:19:38,924 - That was totally different. - How? 311 00:19:39,169 --> 00:19:42,988 You were not supposed to hear that. I said that behind your back. 312 00:19:44,527 --> 00:19:47,753 What if I have babies, okay? I'm gonna look different. 313 00:19:48,075 --> 00:19:50,507 I'm okay with that, but I'm not sure you are. 314 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:54,680 You have to realize I don't think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. 315 00:19:58,861 --> 00:20:02,230 This is one of the things that I can apologize for later. 316 00:20:04,044 --> 00:20:06,333 What I mean is, you're Monica. 317 00:20:06,585 --> 00:20:09,609 Okay? And I am in love with Monica. 318 00:20:10,447 --> 00:20:11,478 Keep going. 319 00:20:11,733 --> 00:20:15,696 So you can balloon up or you can shrink down... 320 00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:17,923 ...and I will still love you. 321 00:20:19,596 --> 00:20:22,752 Even if I were to shrink down to 2 inches tall? 322 00:20:23,841 --> 00:20:25,786 I'd carry you around in my pocket. 323 00:20:27,390 --> 00:20:28,398 I love you. 324 00:20:30,661 --> 00:20:34,658 Skidmark still got a way with the ladies. 325 00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:38,615 Hi, Pheebs. 326 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,223 - Hi. - Hi. 327 00:20:40,541 --> 00:20:42,130 I just want to apologize. 328 00:20:42,420 --> 00:20:44,746 I'm really sorry I was a baby. 329 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,471 That's ridiculous. Rachel, we were all babies once. 330 00:20:51,153 --> 00:20:53,229 Oh, you mean today. Yeah. 331 00:20:54,284 --> 00:20:57,724 Yeah, and you know, you deserve to win. 332 00:20:58,146 --> 00:20:59,843 And I was thinking about it. 333 00:21:00,129 --> 00:21:03,224 If you're Monica's maid of honor, I get to be yours. 334 00:21:03,469 --> 00:21:05,522 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 335 00:21:07,575 --> 00:21:11,157 When Monica and Chandler got engaged, I put some stuff together. 336 00:21:11,401 --> 00:21:14,283 - Just in case. - Oh, that's so sweet. Thanks. 337 00:21:14,533 --> 00:21:17,759 Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. 338 00:21:18,047 --> 00:21:20,158 Oh, God, this is funny. Look. 339 00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:24,196 Here's a picture from one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. 340 00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:26,002 She made me carry her train... 341 00:21:26,292 --> 00:21:29,388 ...which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. 342 00:21:31,268 --> 00:21:33,841 Oh, and here's a little purse that I found. 343 00:21:34,121 --> 00:21:36,897 I just thought they could hold the rings in there. 344 00:21:37,148 --> 00:21:39,781 - Oh. - Something. And... 345 00:21:40,035 --> 00:21:44,519 ...vintage handkerchiefs, you know, because people cry at weddings. 346 00:21:44,801 --> 00:21:47,162 I'm just gonna grab a couple of these. 347 00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:50,637 This stuff is great. 348 00:21:50,925 --> 00:21:53,178 I forgot this was in here. 349 00:21:55,761 --> 00:21:59,272 This was the garter that I was saving for my wedding. 350 00:21:59,622 --> 00:22:03,228 And I wanted it to be Monica's "something borrowed." 351 00:22:04,007 --> 00:22:05,287 And it's blue. 352 00:22:11,278 --> 00:22:14,718 Rach, I think that you should be Monica's maid of honor. 353 00:22:16,845 --> 00:22:18,304 You do? 354 00:22:19,315 --> 00:22:22,435 - Why? - Because I think it means more to you. 355 00:22:23,351 --> 00:22:25,605 But, Pheebs, honey, you earned it. 356 00:22:25,890 --> 00:22:27,942 It's fine. I mean, this is something... 357 00:22:28,152 --> 00:22:31,758 ...that you've been thinking about since you were, what, 14? 358 00:22:32,153 --> 00:22:35,107 No, I was 10. I just developed early. 359 00:22:36,049 --> 00:22:37,959 Man alive! 360 00:22:40,921 --> 00:22:42,688 - Hey, what's going on? - Hey! 361 00:22:42,939 --> 00:22:45,999 We decided Rachel is going to be your maid of honor. 362 00:22:46,591 --> 00:22:48,738 Oh, that's great! 363 00:22:49,061 --> 00:22:52,359 Oh, wow. Okay, we really have to start planning. 364 00:22:52,611 --> 00:22:54,627 I have really specific ideas. 365 00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:56,888 We should meet four times a week. 366 00:22:57,134 --> 00:22:59,981 Come to my place, we'll get together before work. 367 00:23:00,717 --> 00:23:03,872 What do you say, 6:30, my place? So excited! 368 00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:14,206 Yeah, okay. You laugh now. 369 00:23:14,495 --> 00:23:15,918 She's gonna be yours. 370 00:23:32,099 --> 00:23:33,415 Great nap. 371 00:23:33,630 --> 00:23:35,539 It really was. 372 00:23:53,844 --> 00:23:55,647 What the hell are you doing? 373 00:23:56,628 --> 00:23:58,051 God! 374 00:24:04,351 --> 00:24:05,940 Excuse me.