1
00:00:02,447 --> 00:00:04,278
<i>We learned one thing, Cheese:</i>

2
00:00:04,516 --> 00:00:07,974
<i>Cheerleaders and high explosives</i>
<i>don't mix.</i>

3
00:00:10,455 --> 00:00:12,355
<i>You can say that again, Mac.</i>

4
00:00:12,558 --> 00:00:15,118
<i>I couldn't have done it alone.</i>
<i>You're a genius.</i>

5
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:20,457
<i>Oh, yeah? Well, how come I can't get</i>
<i>my VCR to stop blinking 1 2:00?</i>

6
00:00:27,339 --> 00:00:28,829
What did you guys think?

7
00:00:33,412 --> 00:00:35,846
-Hey, the phone.
-I got it. I got it.

8
00:00:37,049 --> 00:00:38,539
HoId on. It's your mom.

9
00:00:38,817 --> 00:00:40,682
-It's Mommy.
-That's nice.

10
00:00:40,919 --> 00:00:43,080
Ma. So, what did you think?

11
00:00:44,056 --> 00:00:45,216
WeII...

12
00:00:45,657 --> 00:00:48,023
...that was okay.

13
00:00:48,293 --> 00:00:49,590
It wasn't the best.

14
00:00:49,828 --> 00:00:52,319
That was one
of the worst things ever...

15
00:00:53,599 --> 00:00:56,067
...and not just on TV.

16
00:00:56,668 --> 00:00:59,000
-What shouId we say?
-The Iighting was okay.

17
00:00:59,237 --> 00:01:02,331
You got Iighting Iast time.
Lighting is mine.

18
00:01:02,808 --> 00:01:03,832
I have costumes.

19
00:01:04,076 --> 00:01:05,509
That means I'm stuck with:

20
00:01:05,744 --> 00:01:10,875
''So we were watching you in there
and you were sitting right here.''

21
00:01:12,017 --> 00:01:14,042
-What about you?
-I don't know.

22
00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:17,584
I can't Iie to him again.
Oh, no, I-- No.

23
00:01:17,856 --> 00:01:20,586
I'm just gonna press
my breasts up against him.

24
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:24,190
-And say nothing?
-Yeah, that's right.

25
00:01:26,198 --> 00:01:28,257
My foIks reaIIy Iiked it.

26
00:01:28,533 --> 00:01:30,023
What did you guys think?

27
00:01:36,775 --> 00:01:38,208
It wasn't that good.

28
00:01:41,213 --> 00:01:43,340
The One With RacheI's Assistant

29
00:02:19,217 --> 00:02:22,983
Do you think that your favorite animaI
says much about you?

30
00:02:23,255 --> 00:02:25,018
You mean behind my back?

31
00:02:26,725 --> 00:02:29,819
You'II never beIieve
what happened to me today.

32
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:32,189
-I am sitting in my office--
-You guys!

33
00:02:32,397 --> 00:02:34,092
Guess what my agent just said?

34
00:02:34,366 --> 00:02:36,061
I'm in the middIe of a story here.

35
00:02:36,334 --> 00:02:37,665
Sorry, you finish.

36
00:02:37,903 --> 00:02:40,770
I'm sitting in my office,
and guess who waIks in.

37
00:02:41,106 --> 00:02:43,074
I'm gonna be on two TV shows.

38
00:02:43,341 --> 00:02:44,365
That's great.

39
00:02:45,343 --> 00:02:47,277
-Joey.
-You weren't finished?

40
00:02:47,546 --> 00:02:50,743
Yeah, ''Guess who waIks
into my office'' is my story.

41
00:02:51,783 --> 00:02:53,910
RaIph Lauren waIked into my office.

42
00:02:54,186 --> 00:02:57,849
If you're starting another story,
at Ieast Iet me finish mine.

43
00:02:59,124 --> 00:03:00,614
It's the same story.

44
00:03:01,259 --> 00:03:03,693
It's reaIIy Iong.

45
00:03:04,396 --> 00:03:08,093
RaIph just came in to teII me
that he's so happy with my work...

46
00:03:08,366 --> 00:03:12,427
...that he wants me to be the new
merchandising manager for PoIo retaiI.

47
00:03:12,738 --> 00:03:14,729
-StiII get a discount on wedding gowns?
-Yeah.

48
00:03:15,006 --> 00:03:17,031
I'm so happy for you.

49
00:03:18,543 --> 00:03:20,807
These reaIIy are
the ''days of our Iives.''

50
00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:24,139
-What?
-WeII, since you ask....

51
00:03:24,416 --> 00:03:27,010
They want me back on
<i>Days of Our Lives.</i>

52
00:03:27,219 --> 00:03:28,652
I get a big pay raise!

53
00:03:28,887 --> 00:03:30,013
Oh, hey!

54
00:03:30,255 --> 00:03:33,713
I'II be pIaying Drake Ramoray's
twin brother, Stryker.

55
00:03:34,626 --> 00:03:37,060
I get to hire my own assistant.

56
00:03:38,764 --> 00:03:41,426
I got a head rush
from standing up too fast.

57
00:03:47,239 --> 00:03:49,070
You were at this job four years?

58
00:03:49,307 --> 00:03:53,767
-That's right.
-This is aII very impressive, HiIda.

59
00:03:54,045 --> 00:03:56,275
I just have one Iast <i>q</i>uestion for you:

60
00:03:57,649 --> 00:03:59,344
How did I do? Was this okay?

61
00:04:00,685 --> 00:04:02,915
-What?
-I've never interviewed anyone.

62
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:05,248
I've never had anyone work for me.

63
00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:08,789
When I was a kid we had a maid,
but this isn't the same.

64
00:04:09,094 --> 00:04:11,289
No, dear, it's not.

65
00:04:12,297 --> 00:04:13,787
And I know that.

66
00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:17,193
WeII, thank you so much for coming in.

67
00:04:17,469 --> 00:04:19,460
-Nice to meet you.
-Good meeting you.

68
00:04:19,704 --> 00:04:21,103
AII right.

69
00:04:22,607 --> 00:04:24,199
I'm a totaI pro.

70
00:04:25,510 --> 00:04:27,978
HeIIo.

71
00:04:29,714 --> 00:04:32,478
Hi, yes, I'm sorry.
The modeIs are down the haII.

72
00:04:32,717 --> 00:04:34,981
I'm here about the assistant job.

73
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,514
ReaIIy?

74
00:04:37,122 --> 00:04:41,149
Okay, weII, then, aII right.
WeII, just have a seat there.

75
00:04:41,393 --> 00:04:42,690
So, what's your name?

76
00:04:42,994 --> 00:04:44,018
Tag Jones.

77
00:04:44,296 --> 00:04:46,093
Go on.

78
00:04:47,232 --> 00:04:49,223
That's it. That's my whoIe name.

79
00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:51,526
That's your whoIe name.
Of course it is.

80
00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:54,502
Okay, Iet's just have a Iook-see here.

81
00:04:54,739 --> 00:04:58,470
I haven't worked in an office before.
I don't have much e<i>x</i>perience--

82
00:04:58,710 --> 00:05:02,806
What are you taIking about?
You got three years painting houses...

83
00:05:03,415 --> 00:05:06,976
...two whoIe summers
at TGI Friday's.

84
00:05:07,686 --> 00:05:08,880
It's Iame, I know.

85
00:05:09,154 --> 00:05:11,987
But I'm a goaI-oriented person,
eager to Iearn--

86
00:05:12,190 --> 00:05:14,055
Just hoId on a second, pIease.

87
00:05:18,563 --> 00:05:22,624
It's for human resources. Everybody
has to. WouId you stand up?

88
00:05:30,742 --> 00:05:32,209
No, no, no.

89
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:44,517
Hey.

90
00:05:49,361 --> 00:05:52,023
-Anyway, I shouId go.
-Okay. Bye.

91
00:05:52,230 --> 00:05:54,027
-Hey, sweetie.
-Hi, sweetie.

92
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,291
What was with aII the whispering?

93
00:05:56,701 --> 00:05:58,760
I can't teII you. It's a secret.

94
00:05:59,204 --> 00:06:02,765
Secret? Married peopIe aren't
supposed to have secrets.

95
00:06:03,041 --> 00:06:05,669
We Iove and respect
one another too much.

96
00:06:07,679 --> 00:06:08,703
But stiII, no.

97
00:06:09,581 --> 00:06:13,711
We shouId teII each other everything.
I don't have secrets from you.

98
00:06:13,919 --> 00:06:18,413
ReaIIy? So teII me what happened
to Ross junior year at DisneyIand.

99
00:06:18,690 --> 00:06:20,385
No, I can't do that.

100
00:06:21,092 --> 00:06:23,117
I'II teII you what Phoebe said.

101
00:06:23,929 --> 00:06:24,953
-Okay.
-Okay.

102
00:06:25,230 --> 00:06:27,562
So Ross and I
are going to DisneyIand.

103
00:06:27,799 --> 00:06:29,960
We stop at this restaurant for tacos.

104
00:06:30,235 --> 00:06:34,831
When I say ''restaurant,'' I mean a guy,
a hibachi and the trunk of his car.

105
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,505
So Ross has about 1 0 tacos.

106
00:06:37,776 --> 00:06:42,304
Anyway, we're on Space Mountain
and Ross starts to feeI a IittIe iffy.

107
00:06:42,580 --> 00:06:44,138
Oh, my God. He threw up?

108
00:06:44,416 --> 00:06:47,817
No, he visited a town
a IittIe south of throw up.

109
00:06:48,753 --> 00:06:50,448
-No.
-Yeah.

110
00:06:50,622 --> 00:06:53,614
Some of the empIoyees decided
to rename the park...

111
00:06:53,792 --> 00:06:55,692
...the ''Crappiest PIace on Earth.''

112
00:06:59,197 --> 00:07:00,926
What was Phoebe's secret?

113
00:07:01,099 --> 00:07:05,126
Nancy Thompson, from Phoebe's
oId massage pIace, is getting fired.

114
00:07:09,107 --> 00:07:12,201
That's it? I gave up my
DisneyIand story for that?

115
00:07:12,610 --> 00:07:15,135
That's right. You Iose, sucker!

116
00:07:17,716 --> 00:07:19,308
PIease stiII marry me.

117
00:07:23,254 --> 00:07:25,154
You have an assistant, right?

118
00:07:25,423 --> 00:07:26,447
Did she caII?

119
00:07:26,725 --> 00:07:30,525
You toId her I was sick, right?
AIways teII her I am sick.

120
00:07:31,429 --> 00:07:34,125
No, I just don't know,
how do you decide who to hire?

121
00:07:34,332 --> 00:07:36,027
I have it down to two peopIe.

122
00:07:36,301 --> 00:07:39,327
One has great references
and a Iot of e<i>x</i>perience.

123
00:07:39,537 --> 00:07:41,971
-And then there's this guy....
-What about him?

124
00:07:43,608 --> 00:07:44,836
I Iove him.

125
00:07:46,745 --> 00:07:48,736
He's so pretty I want to cry.

126
00:07:48,947 --> 00:07:50,312
I don't know what to do.

127
00:07:50,548 --> 00:07:54,143
Come on, you know what to do.
You hire the first one.

128
00:07:54,352 --> 00:07:59,016
Don't hire assistants because they're
cute. Do it because they're <i>q</i>uaIified.

129
00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:06,794
I hear you. You make a Iot of sense.
Can I just say one more thing?

130
00:08:07,032 --> 00:08:08,260
Look how pretty.

131
00:08:10,335 --> 00:08:11,359
Let me see.

132
00:08:12,370 --> 00:08:14,361
Oh, my God.

133
00:08:14,873 --> 00:08:16,898
Oh. But no.

134
00:08:17,175 --> 00:08:20,372
No. You can't hire him,
because it's not professionaI.

135
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:24,171
This is for me, yes?

136
00:08:25,016 --> 00:08:28,144
Okay, you're right.
I'II hire HiIda tomorrow.

137
00:08:28,386 --> 00:08:31,150
Dumb, oId, perfect-for-the-job HiIda.

138
00:08:31,923 --> 00:08:32,981
Let me see.

139
00:08:37,162 --> 00:08:39,187
Don't show this to Monica.

140
00:08:39,397 --> 00:08:41,831
And don't teII her about the:

141
00:08:49,074 --> 00:08:50,507
-Hey, Joey.
-Hey, Terry.

142
00:08:50,742 --> 00:08:52,937
-Nice to see you again.
-Been a whiIe.

143
00:08:53,178 --> 00:08:56,011
Funny, these haIIs Iook smaIIer
than they used to.

144
00:08:56,714 --> 00:08:58,579
It's a different buiIding.

145
00:08:59,818 --> 00:09:00,876
So...

146
00:09:01,386 --> 00:09:03,616
...Stryker Ramoray, huh?

147
00:09:03,888 --> 00:09:06,118
-When do I start?
-How about right now?

148
00:09:06,391 --> 00:09:07,756
Okay.

149
00:09:08,359 --> 00:09:10,452
Here are the audition scenes.

150
00:09:14,099 --> 00:09:16,624
I thought you
were offering me the part.

151
00:09:16,901 --> 00:09:17,959
Why?

152
00:09:18,203 --> 00:09:21,730
I was Dr. Drake Ramoray,
Stryker's twin brother.

153
00:09:21,973 --> 00:09:24,464
Who Iooks more Iike me than me, right?

154
00:09:25,143 --> 00:09:27,771
Everybody has to audition.

155
00:09:29,647 --> 00:09:32,582
You know, Terry,
I don't reaIIy need to do this.

156
00:09:32,784 --> 00:09:35,480
I got my own cabIe TV series...

157
00:09:35,787 --> 00:09:37,584
...with a robot.

158
00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:41,888
I'm sorry, Joey.
That's the way it is.

159
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,057
WeII...

160
00:09:44,896 --> 00:09:47,228
...I guess you think
you're pretty speciaI.

161
00:09:47,465 --> 00:09:50,923
Sitting up here in your fancy,
smaII-haIIed buiIding...

162
00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:55,004
...making stars jump
through hoops for you.

163
00:09:55,273 --> 00:09:56,763
WeII, you know what?

164
00:09:58,643 --> 00:10:01,441
This is one star whose hoop--

165
00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:03,874
This is the star the hoop--
This hoop--

166
00:10:04,115 --> 00:10:06,083
I was Dr. Drake Ramoray!

167
00:10:13,758 --> 00:10:16,283
Hi, Tag. What are you doing here?

168
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:19,964
I came to thank you for not Iaughing
in my face yesterday.

169
00:10:20,198 --> 00:10:23,634
I noticed there aren't any pIants,
so I brought you your first--

170
00:10:24,135 --> 00:10:26,160
There is a pIant in your office.

171
00:10:27,005 --> 00:10:28,404
Kind of.

172
00:10:29,107 --> 00:10:31,803
-And that was there yesterday, wasn't it?
-Yeah.

173
00:10:31,976 --> 00:10:34,877
I got it the same time I got that one.

174
00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:36,872
Right.

175
00:10:37,348 --> 00:10:41,250
So I guess I shouIdn't put
''good at noticing stuff'' on my résumé.

176
00:10:41,786 --> 00:10:43,777
-Thank you.
-Anyway...

177
00:10:44,122 --> 00:10:46,090
...I'm guessing you hired somebody.

178
00:10:46,758 --> 00:10:47,952
WeII....

179
00:10:48,359 --> 00:10:49,587
Gotcha.

180
00:10:49,994 --> 00:10:52,087
Thanks again for meeting with me.

181
00:10:53,965 --> 00:10:55,227
But I hired you.

182
00:10:57,168 --> 00:10:59,159
-What?
-Yeah, you got the job.

183
00:10:59,404 --> 00:11:01,395
-You're my new assistant.
-I am?

184
00:11:01,639 --> 00:11:03,072
Yeah.

185
00:11:04,175 --> 00:11:07,508
-I can't beIieve it.
-Me either.

186
00:11:08,513 --> 00:11:11,505
-RacheI, thank you so much.
-Oh, big hug.

187
00:11:11,916 --> 00:11:14,407
-ReaIIy?
-No, handshake.

188
00:11:15,453 --> 00:11:17,512
Okay, Iet's get started.

189
00:11:17,689 --> 00:11:20,123
First, I need you to go downstairs...

190
00:11:20,358 --> 00:11:23,122
...find a woman named HiIda
and teII her to go home.

191
00:11:28,499 --> 00:11:30,126
-Hey.
-Hey, good, you're home.

192
00:11:30,668 --> 00:11:33,637
AIways nicer to hear than,
''Oh, crap, you again.''

193
00:11:35,406 --> 00:11:37,533
Hey, sweetie. I made you a surprise.

194
00:11:37,775 --> 00:11:39,640
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah, tacos.

195
00:11:39,844 --> 00:11:42,836
Ever since that story
I've had such a craving for them.

196
00:11:44,882 --> 00:11:46,941
Did you not understand the story?

197
00:11:49,254 --> 00:11:50,846
-Hey.
-Hey, what's up?

198
00:11:51,556 --> 00:11:54,457
Nothing. Just figuring out
what to do for dinner.

199
00:11:57,095 --> 00:12:00,428
Hey, what's that? Dinner stuff?
You making dinner?

200
00:12:00,665 --> 00:12:01,757
No.

201
00:12:05,436 --> 00:12:07,028
What's over there? Tacos?

202
00:12:07,272 --> 00:12:08,899
No. No.

203
00:12:10,241 --> 00:12:13,972
They're just.... They're ground beef smiIeys.

204
00:12:16,047 --> 00:12:17,275
Those are tacos.

205
00:12:17,482 --> 00:12:20,042
E<i>x</i>cuse me, Mr. Me<i>x</i>ico.

206
00:12:20,918 --> 00:12:24,820
Either way, I'II pass.
StiII can't eat those.

207
00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:33,727
What's so funny?

208
00:12:39,604 --> 00:12:41,196
I'm not Iaughing.

209
00:12:49,947 --> 00:12:51,608
You toId her!

210
00:12:52,650 --> 00:12:55,278
Nancy Thompson's getting fired.

211
00:12:58,356 --> 00:13:02,417
Okay, okay. I had food poisoning.
It's not Iike I chose to do it!

212
00:13:02,660 --> 00:13:06,528
It's not Iike I said,
''What wouId make this ride more fun?''

213
00:13:07,532 --> 00:13:11,332
Right. You're right, I'm sorry.
I shouIdn't be Iaughing.

214
00:13:11,602 --> 00:13:13,968
I shouId be
Iaying down papers for you.

215
00:13:17,041 --> 00:13:19,874
-How couId you?
-I had to. We're getting married.

216
00:13:20,111 --> 00:13:22,602
Married coupIes can't keep secrets.

217
00:13:22,814 --> 00:13:25,749
I guess Monica shouId know
about AtIantic City.

218
00:13:25,950 --> 00:13:27,383
Dude!

219
00:13:28,653 --> 00:13:31,554
-What happened?
-ChandIer and I are in a bar...

220
00:13:31,789 --> 00:13:34,189
Did you not hear me say, ''Dude!''?

221
00:13:35,059 --> 00:13:38,358
...and this girI
is making eyes at ChandIer.

222
00:13:38,563 --> 00:13:43,364
So he goes over to her and after
a minute or two I see them kissing.

223
00:13:43,768 --> 00:13:48,068
Now, you're thinking ''He's not the type
to go to bars and make out with girIs.''

224
00:13:48,339 --> 00:13:50,330
And you're right.
He's not the type...

225
00:13:50,575 --> 00:13:54,705
...to go to bars
and make out with girIs.

226
00:13:56,381 --> 00:13:58,372
You kissed a guy?

227
00:14:00,218 --> 00:14:01,810
Oh, my God!

228
00:14:02,019 --> 00:14:06,217
In my defense, it was dark
and he was a very pretty guy.

229
00:14:08,159 --> 00:14:09,786
Oh, Mon, I Iaughed so hard--

230
00:14:10,228 --> 00:14:13,686
So hard we had to throw out
your underwear again?

231
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:18,297
Whatever, dude. You kissed a guy.

232
00:14:23,174 --> 00:14:27,736
Joey, do you think your favorite animaI
says a Iot about you?

233
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:31,442
No, because goats can't taIk.

234
00:14:33,017 --> 00:14:34,382
-Hi.
-Hey.

235
00:14:34,652 --> 00:14:36,347
How's HiIda working out?

236
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:41,691
Oh, my new assistant
is working out. Yes.

237
00:14:42,193 --> 00:14:43,820
She happy she got the job?

238
00:14:44,028 --> 00:14:49,466
My new assistant was very happy
that I hired my new assistant.

239
00:14:51,702 --> 00:14:52,964
HeIIo.

240
00:14:53,204 --> 00:14:55,536
Oh, hey! Can you hang on a second?

241
00:14:55,773 --> 00:14:59,903
It's the producers at <i>Mac and Cheese,</i>
if you'II e<i>x</i>cuse me for a minute.

242
00:15:01,679 --> 00:15:06,082
Hey, funny you shouId caII. I was
just Iooking over ne<i>x</i>t week's script.

243
00:15:07,218 --> 00:15:08,583
CanceIed!

244
00:15:09,687 --> 00:15:12,053
Like they're taking it off the air?

245
00:15:13,591 --> 00:15:16,526
AII right. I'II see you Monday.

246
00:15:17,228 --> 00:15:20,026
We're not even shooting them anymore?

247
00:15:20,331 --> 00:15:22,561
AII right. Bye.

248
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,928
They canceIed <i>Mac and Cheese</i>!

249
00:15:26,204 --> 00:15:27,535
-Sorry.
-Sorry, Joey.

250
00:15:27,738 --> 00:15:30,536
Why wouId they do that?
It was a good show, right?

251
00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:45,345
You want to teII secrets?
Okay. In coIIege...

252
00:15:45,590 --> 00:15:48,616
...Ross used to wear Ieg warmers.

253
00:15:50,194 --> 00:15:55,097
AII right, ChandIer entered a
VaniIIa Ice Iook-aIike contest and won.

254
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:59,063
Ross came in fourth and cried!

255
00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:05,407
-I weIIed up.
-Oh, my God!

256
00:16:06,177 --> 00:16:08,645
Oh, is that funny?
You find that funny?

257
00:16:08,846 --> 00:16:11,679
Maybe ChandIer shouId know
your secrets too.

258
00:16:13,117 --> 00:16:16,018
I aIready toId him everything.
You shush!

259
00:16:16,988 --> 00:16:19,286
Once she was sent to bed
without dinner...

260
00:16:19,524 --> 00:16:22,493
...so she ate the macaroni off
a jeweIry bo<i>x</i> she'd made.

261
00:16:25,329 --> 00:16:28,992
Ross stayed home every Saturday night
to watch <i>Golden Girls.</i>

262
00:16:31,469 --> 00:16:34,063
Monica couIdn't teII time
untiI she was 1 3.

263
00:16:36,207 --> 00:16:38,402
It's hard for some peopIe!

264
00:16:39,176 --> 00:16:40,837
Of course it is.

265
00:16:41,045 --> 00:16:43,036
<i>Wow.</i>

266
00:16:43,514 --> 00:16:46,574
-ChandIer wore my underwear to work once!
-Hey!

267
00:16:48,553 --> 00:16:51,386
I'm sorry, I couIdn't think
of any more for Ross.

268
00:16:51,689 --> 00:16:53,384
In coIIege, ChandIer got drunk...

269
00:16:53,658 --> 00:16:56,593
...and sIept with the Iady
who cIeaned our dorm.

270
00:16:57,695 --> 00:16:58,923
That was you.

271
00:17:01,832 --> 00:17:04,528
Whatever, dude. You kissed a guy.

272
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:07,928
I can't beIieve this!

273
00:17:08,105 --> 00:17:10,198
<i>Mac and Cheese</i> was a great show.

274
00:17:10,575 --> 00:17:14,568
How about that scene where Mac
teaches Cheese how to yodeI? Come on!

275
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,513
Yeah, I actuaIIy Iiked that part.

276
00:17:20,284 --> 00:17:21,945
How couId this happen to me?

277
00:17:22,186 --> 00:17:26,885
Yesterday I had two TV shows.
Today I got nothing.

278
00:17:27,091 --> 00:17:29,992
Wait a minute,
what happened to <i>Days of our Lives</i>?

279
00:17:30,194 --> 00:17:33,322
WeII, they might be a IittIe mad
at me over there.

280
00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:34,989
What happened?

281
00:17:35,266 --> 00:17:40,397
WeII, maybe I got a IittIe upset, and
maybe I toId them where they couId go.

282
00:17:40,905 --> 00:17:43,135
Joey, why wouId you do that?

283
00:17:43,374 --> 00:17:45,842
Because! They wanted me to audition.

284
00:17:46,043 --> 00:17:49,479
You? An actor? That's madness!

285
00:17:56,921 --> 00:17:58,786
RacheI Green's office.

286
00:18:01,292 --> 00:18:02,316
Tag.

287
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,027
Hi, who was that?

288
00:18:04,395 --> 00:18:07,523
Nobody. I was just practicing.

289
00:18:07,798 --> 00:18:08,992
ReaIIy?

290
00:18:14,572 --> 00:18:17,541
-Hi.
-Hi, RacheI Green's office.

291
00:18:19,176 --> 00:18:20,871
You must be HiIda.

292
00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:26,547
He's Tag. This is Phoebe.
Phoebe, can I see you for a sec?

293
00:18:26,817 --> 00:18:27,943
Phoebe.

294
00:18:28,452 --> 00:18:30,317
-That's a great name.
-Oh, you Iike that?

295
00:18:30,521 --> 00:18:34,548
-You shouId hear my phone number.
-Okay. We'II be right back.

296
00:18:38,529 --> 00:18:41,521
So you hired yourseIf
a IittIe treat, did you?

297
00:18:42,767 --> 00:18:45,099
I know how it Iooks,
but I am teIIing you--

298
00:18:45,369 --> 00:18:47,860
You can't get invoIved
with your assistant.

299
00:18:48,105 --> 00:18:52,838
I know that, and I know hiring him was
not the smartest thing I've ever done.

300
00:18:53,077 --> 00:18:56,774
But from now on,
I swear this is strictIy professionaI.

301
00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,447
-Yes.
-Hey, RacheI.

302
00:18:58,649 --> 00:18:59,707
Hi.

303
00:18:59,950 --> 00:19:02,475
Cute assistant. What's his story?

304
00:19:02,753 --> 00:19:04,983
-Is he....
-Gay? Yeah.

305
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:13,054
Hey, Terry.

306
00:19:13,297 --> 00:19:14,559
Joey Tribbiani.

307
00:19:14,765 --> 00:19:18,462
Surprised your big head
couId fit through our smaII haIIs.

308
00:19:19,670 --> 00:19:21,797
-I gotta go, Joey.
-Wait, Terry! Look.

309
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:23,973
I'm reaIIy sorry about before.

310
00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:27,438
I was an idiot, thinking I'm too big
to audition for you.

311
00:19:27,678 --> 00:19:29,908
-Give me another chance.
-I can't.

312
00:19:30,114 --> 00:19:31,945
Wait, Terry, pIease!

313
00:19:32,883 --> 00:19:35,147
Look, I just Iost my other job, okay?

314
00:19:35,419 --> 00:19:38,582
You have no idea how much I need this.

315
00:19:38,823 --> 00:19:40,313
PIease, heIp me out.

316
00:19:40,691 --> 00:19:42,625
For oId times' sake.

317
00:19:43,928 --> 00:19:47,261
This guy's been in a coma
for five years. It's hopeIess.

318
00:19:47,498 --> 00:19:50,490
It's not. Dr. Stryker Ramoray
is a miracIe worker.

319
00:19:50,668 --> 00:19:51,794
Here he comes.

320
00:19:52,703 --> 00:19:54,102
Good morning.

321
00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:04,940
Drake, it's your brother, Stryker.
Can you hear me?

322
00:20:05,216 --> 00:20:07,207
And cut.

323
00:20:09,186 --> 00:20:11,416
I'm back, baby!

324
00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:26,134
You know, in my defense...

325
00:20:26,370 --> 00:20:29,965
...there was no gIitter on
the macaroni and very IittIe gIue.

326
00:20:30,441 --> 00:20:33,968
And in my defense,
the cIeaning Iady came on to me.

327
00:20:35,446 --> 00:20:38,438
-Do you have troubIe teIIing time now?
-No.

328
00:20:38,682 --> 00:20:41,378
-Quick, what time is it?
-Time to kiss a guy?

329
00:20:45,556 --> 00:20:48,320
What are you Iaughing at, Pampers?

330
00:20:50,694 --> 00:20:52,719
You know when I said
married peopIe...

331
00:20:52,997 --> 00:20:55,830
...shouId share everything
and not have any secrets?

332
00:20:56,066 --> 00:20:59,763
-Yeah.
-Yeah, that was stupid. Let's not do that.

333
00:21:00,471 --> 00:21:01,460
AbsoIuteIy.

334
00:21:01,639 --> 00:21:05,439
-I'm on board.
-Thank you. Thank you.

335
00:21:06,443 --> 00:21:10,573
We shouId keep the stuff we toId
each other secret from everyone eIse.

336
00:21:10,815 --> 00:21:12,680
Yeah, definiteIy.

337
00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:16,050
Okay. If you'II e<i>x</i>cuse me...

338
00:21:16,287 --> 00:21:20,451
...I'm gonna hang out with peopIe who
don't know the Space Mountain story.

339
00:21:21,058 --> 00:21:24,960
-Then I'd steer cIear of Phoebe.
-Man!

340
00:21:26,497 --> 00:21:30,934
Not that you wouId, but I wouIdn't
hang out with the guys at my office.

341
00:21:40,945 --> 00:21:41,969
Hi.

342
00:21:44,348 --> 00:21:46,816
-Do you have a minute?
-Sure. What's up?

343
00:21:47,484 --> 00:21:50,885
I got asked out twice today
whiIe I was at Iunch...

344
00:21:51,155 --> 00:21:52,850
...by guys.

345
00:21:55,226 --> 00:21:56,352
-ReaIIy?
-Yeah.

346
00:21:56,794 --> 00:21:58,989
Did you teII someone that I was gay?

347
00:21:59,196 --> 00:22:02,529
Oh, did you not want peopIe
to know that?

348
00:22:03,868 --> 00:22:08,601
I'm not gay. I especiaIIy wouIdn't
want you to think I was gay.

349
00:22:09,106 --> 00:22:10,664
Why is that?

350
00:22:12,610 --> 00:22:16,102
-I don't think I shouId say.
-Oh, you can say.

351
00:22:17,882 --> 00:22:21,613
Come on, I don't want you to feeI
Iike you can't teII me things.

352
00:22:24,321 --> 00:22:25,481
-Okay.
-Okay.

353
00:22:26,490 --> 00:22:28,321
-WeII....
-Yeah.

354
00:22:28,692 --> 00:22:31,058
I'd Iove to ask out your friend Phoebe.

355
00:22:34,131 --> 00:22:35,860
Yeah, she's gay.

356
00:22:42,973 --> 00:22:43,962
[ENGLISH]