1
00:00:03,181 --> 00:00:04,808
Hey, guys.

2
00:00:05,584 --> 00:00:08,815
So, what do you think?

3
00:00:10,088 --> 00:00:11,282
-About what?
-What?

4
00:00:12,391 --> 00:00:15,918
Are you kidding?
Okay, I'II give you a hint.

5
00:00:18,730 --> 00:00:21,631
Eyes. No, no. Your eyes! No.

6
00:00:21,833 --> 00:00:23,562
ChandIer's eyes!

7
00:00:24,770 --> 00:00:26,465
I got gIasses.

8
00:00:26,705 --> 00:00:29,071
You aIways had gIasses.

9
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:33,468
No, I didn't.

10
00:00:34,846 --> 00:00:36,279
Are you sure?

11
00:00:37,816 --> 00:00:39,283
Didn't you have a pair?

12
00:00:39,484 --> 00:00:43,716
They were reaIIy round and burgundy,
and they made you Iook kind of....

13
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,924
-Feminine.
-Yes!

14
00:00:46,291 --> 00:00:47,315
No.

15
00:00:47,526 --> 00:00:50,324
I think the gIasses Iook great.
You Iook se<i>x</i>y.

16
00:00:50,596 --> 00:00:52,029
-ReaIIy?
-Yeah.

17
00:00:52,264 --> 00:00:54,357
You didn't think I wore gIasses?

18
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,158
Of course.

19
00:01:00,038 --> 00:01:02,268
The One With Phoebe's Cookies

20
00:01:50,722 --> 00:01:52,849
What do you want for
an engagement gift?

21
00:01:53,091 --> 00:01:55,116
That's okay, we're not
having a party...

22
00:01:55,394 --> 00:01:57,294
...so you don't have to get us--

23
00:01:58,230 --> 00:02:02,291
If someone wants to give us a present,
we can't deprive them of that joy.

24
00:02:03,301 --> 00:02:05,792
You shouId get them a
IittIe CD pIayer.

25
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,266
I aIready have one.

26
00:02:07,506 --> 00:02:10,737
UnIess someone borrowed it and
Ieft it at the gynecoIogist.

27
00:02:13,945 --> 00:02:17,403
Yeah, and by ''someone''
she means Joey.

28
00:02:18,817 --> 00:02:20,114
I know what I want!

29
00:02:20,385 --> 00:02:23,149
-What we want, honey.
-No, you don't want this.

30
00:02:24,156 --> 00:02:26,818
I want your grandmother's
cookie recipe.

31
00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:29,391
You mean the chocoIate chip
cookie recipe?

32
00:02:30,662 --> 00:02:32,960
The one my grandma
made me swear on her deathbed...

33
00:02:33,231 --> 00:02:35,893
...that I wouId never
Iet out of our famiIy?

34
00:02:36,668 --> 00:02:39,728
Dying peopIe say the craziest things.

35
00:02:41,273 --> 00:02:44,640
I've wanted it for years. I was gonna
make cookies for my chiIdren.

36
00:02:45,777 --> 00:02:48,302
Break my heart. Oh, aII right.

37
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:52,072
I'II be the mom who makes the
worId's best chocoIate chip cookies.

38
00:02:52,317 --> 00:02:55,582
Our kids are gonna be fat,
aren't they?

39
00:02:57,556 --> 00:02:59,080
Ahoy!

40
00:02:59,291 --> 00:03:01,953
-How's the boat?
-I'm getting into this saiIing stuff.

41
00:03:02,194 --> 00:03:04,094
You finaIIy took it out of the marina?

42
00:03:04,663 --> 00:03:06,130
Why wouId I do that?

43
00:03:06,832 --> 00:03:09,699
It took three guys
to get the thing in there.

44
00:03:10,502 --> 00:03:12,629
If you don't saiI it,
what do you do on it?

45
00:03:12,838 --> 00:03:14,635
It's a great pIace to just sit...

46
00:03:14,873 --> 00:03:18,331
...hang around, drink a few beers,
eat some chips.

47
00:03:19,878 --> 00:03:23,143
It's good that you finaIIy
have a pIace to do that.

48
00:03:23,949 --> 00:03:26,213
I couId teach you to saiI if you want.

49
00:03:26,451 --> 00:03:28,715
-You couId?
-I've been saiIing my whoIe Iife.

50
00:03:28,987 --> 00:03:32,013
When I was 1 5, my dad
bought me my own boat.

51
00:03:33,525 --> 00:03:35,652
-Your own boat?
-He was trying to cheer me up.

52
00:03:35,861 --> 00:03:37,522
My pony was sick.

53
00:03:49,107 --> 00:03:51,234
-You know what I was thinking?
-What?

54
00:03:51,710 --> 00:03:53,803
Nothing, I just Iike to go Iike this.

55
00:03:55,714 --> 00:03:58,114
-What are you doing tonight?
-Do you have a Iecture?

56
00:03:58,350 --> 00:04:01,513
-No, why?
-Then, free as a bird. What's up?

57
00:04:01,820 --> 00:04:04,550
My dad wants to know if you want
to pIay rac<i>q</i>uetbaII.

58
00:04:04,756 --> 00:04:06,519
Great! Dad must Iike you!

59
00:04:06,725 --> 00:04:08,420
He doesn't ask just anyone to pIay.

60
00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:10,890
He didn't ask for you.
He asked for ''Chauncey.''

61
00:04:11,129 --> 00:04:13,393
I assumed he meant you.

62
00:04:14,032 --> 00:04:15,499
Did you correct him?

63
00:04:15,734 --> 00:04:18,259
No, I thought it wouId be
more fun this way.

64
00:04:19,738 --> 00:04:22,172
CooI! Maybe you couId
do this every week.

65
00:04:22,407 --> 00:04:23,669
Or you couId sit on the porch...

66
00:04:23,909 --> 00:04:26,036
...and make sure no one
steaIs the trashcans.

67
00:04:26,645 --> 00:04:28,772
He does that every week too.

68
00:04:30,148 --> 00:04:33,948
Just so you know, you have to Iet
him win. He hates to Iose.

69
00:04:34,219 --> 00:04:36,585
Maybe I'II pIay with my Ieft hand.

70
00:04:37,756 --> 00:04:39,087
You're not a Iefty?

71
00:04:40,525 --> 00:04:42,220
Does anybody know me?

72
00:04:47,265 --> 00:04:48,254
What's wrong?

73
00:04:48,533 --> 00:04:51,900
I went to my oId apartment
to get the cookie recipe...

74
00:04:52,103 --> 00:04:54,594
...and that stupid fire burned it up!

75
00:04:54,806 --> 00:04:58,674
No! Why didn't you make a copy
and keep it in a fireproof bo<i>x</i>...

76
00:04:58,910 --> 00:05:01,902
...and keep it at Ieast 1 00 yards
away from the originaI?

77
00:05:07,485 --> 00:05:10,215
Because I'm normaI.

78
00:05:11,990 --> 00:05:14,550
That was the one Iegacy
my grandmother Ieft me.

79
00:05:14,793 --> 00:05:17,591
And I know you wanted it
as an engagement present.

80
00:05:17,796 --> 00:05:19,957
We have to get you
an engagement present?

81
00:05:20,932 --> 00:05:22,194
Don't worry about it.

82
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,925
No one got me an engagement present.

83
00:05:25,637 --> 00:05:29,095
I don't have the recipe, but here.

84
00:05:29,341 --> 00:05:31,775
I wish you heaIth
and happiness.

85
00:05:32,744 --> 00:05:34,507
An oId cookie?

86
00:05:35,814 --> 00:05:38,282
This is what happens when you
don't register for gifts.

87
00:05:39,584 --> 00:05:44,283
I made a batch and froze it.
This is the onIy one Ieft.

88
00:05:44,489 --> 00:05:45,751
We can't accept this.

89
00:05:45,957 --> 00:05:46,946
Why not?

90
00:05:47,926 --> 00:05:49,951
Because it's gross.

91
00:05:50,662 --> 00:05:53,927
No, wait. I think I can figure out
the recipe from this cookie.

92
00:05:54,132 --> 00:05:55,827
I do this at work aII the time.

93
00:05:56,101 --> 00:05:57,227
-ReaIIy?
-I think so!

94
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,037
Okay, Ross, we owe you a present.

95
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:06,642
Two! I've been engaged twice.

96
00:06:15,987 --> 00:06:17,113
Look at this cIown.

97
00:06:17,355 --> 00:06:20,620
He thinks he can take up the
whoIe river.

98
00:06:20,859 --> 00:06:23,521
Get out of the way, jackass!

99
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,959
Who names their boat
<i>Coast Guard,</i> anyway?

100
00:06:30,669 --> 00:06:32,364
That is the Coast Guard.

101
00:06:32,570 --> 00:06:33,662
What are they doing here?

102
00:06:33,905 --> 00:06:36,066
The coast is aII the way over there.

103
00:06:36,975 --> 00:06:38,465
Joey, just ignore the boats.

104
00:06:38,677 --> 00:06:40,907
-We're not finished with our Iesson.
-AII right.

105
00:06:41,146 --> 00:06:43,341
I'm gonna go over the basic
points once more.

106
00:06:43,581 --> 00:06:45,549
Come on, Rach. I got it, okay?

107
00:06:45,817 --> 00:06:47,512
I want to go over there...

108
00:06:47,719 --> 00:06:50,017
...where that boatIoad of girIs is.

109
00:06:52,023 --> 00:06:54,048
Is that it? You want to give...

110
00:06:54,292 --> 00:06:56,283
...a shout out to the hot <i>chicas</i>?

111
00:06:56,494 --> 00:06:58,485
Okay, Iet's do that, SaiIor Joe.

112
00:06:58,730 --> 00:07:01,858
Quick <i>q</i>uestion, though:
What's this caIIed?

113
00:07:03,168 --> 00:07:06,331
-Boat rope?
-Wrong!

114
00:07:06,538 --> 00:07:08,369
How do you get the mainsaiI up?

115
00:07:09,407 --> 00:07:11,307
Rub it?

116
00:07:14,512 --> 00:07:17,948
No. What do you do if I say
we're coming about?

117
00:07:18,216 --> 00:07:21,083
I say, ''Come again?''

118
00:07:21,586 --> 00:07:23,315
I know this one. I know this one.

119
00:07:25,590 --> 00:07:27,353
Time's up. Now you're dead.

120
00:07:27,592 --> 00:07:28,820
And deaf!

121
00:07:29,027 --> 00:07:30,961
You go on and make your IittIe jokes.

122
00:07:31,196 --> 00:07:32,686
If you don't know
what you're doing...

123
00:07:32,931 --> 00:07:36,196
...you wiII die.
Am I getting through to you?

124
00:07:37,635 --> 00:07:39,262
-Yes.
-Don't just say yes.

125
00:07:39,471 --> 00:07:41,962
This isn't a game.
You couId get hurt out here!

126
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:45,038
Do you want to pay attention,
or do you want to die?

127
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:51,110
I want to make a
ship-to-shore caII to ChandIer.

128
00:08:00,592 --> 00:08:03,390
-I definiteIy taste nutmeg.
-You do?

129
00:08:03,595 --> 00:08:06,063
You don't? WeII, that's
the difference...

130
00:08:06,264 --> 00:08:08,425
...between a
professionaI and a Iayman.

131
00:08:10,101 --> 00:08:11,796
That and arrogance.

132
00:08:13,972 --> 00:08:14,996
Hey.

133
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,764
Hey. How was saiIing?

134
00:08:17,475 --> 00:08:19,466
I don't want to taIk about it.

135
00:08:20,145 --> 00:08:22,409
You couId've at Ieast saved
me a cookie.

136
00:08:26,885 --> 00:08:28,443
Women are mean!

137
00:08:33,191 --> 00:08:34,419
I can't beIieve that.

138
00:08:34,626 --> 00:08:37,993
Now the onIy thing Ieft
of my grandmother's Iegacy is...

139
00:08:38,196 --> 00:08:39,754
...this crumb.

140
00:08:41,666 --> 00:08:44,533
I wish you a Iong and happy marriage.

141
00:08:47,639 --> 00:08:49,436
-Hey.
-How was it?

142
00:08:49,641 --> 00:08:52,201
WeII, I had a great time.

143
00:08:52,477 --> 00:08:54,809
Chauncey, on the other hand....

144
00:08:55,013 --> 00:08:57,004
I wiII teII the story.

145
00:08:57,282 --> 00:09:00,342
It was going great.
I Iet him win, we were bonding...

146
00:09:00,618 --> 00:09:02,449
...he even said I couId caII him Dad.

147
00:09:02,687 --> 00:09:04,450
And what did he ask you
not to caII him?

148
00:09:05,657 --> 00:09:06,851
Daddy.

149
00:09:08,026 --> 00:09:09,994
Look, here's the story.

150
00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:15,356
<i>We had just finished playing,</i>
<i>and we were gonna take a steam.</i>

151
00:09:15,633 --> 00:09:16,657
<i>I walk into the room...</i>

152
00:09:16,868 --> 00:09:18,927
<i>...and it's really steamy.</i>

153
00:09:21,506 --> 00:09:24,669
<i>So I take off my glasses,</i>
<i>and that's when it happened.</i>

154
00:09:24,876 --> 00:09:25,934
Guys?

155
00:09:26,244 --> 00:09:29,042
-Over here.
-Have a seat, son.

156
00:09:34,319 --> 00:09:35,308
Hey!

157
00:09:42,627 --> 00:09:45,562
-Oh, my God! I can't beIieve it.
-I know.

158
00:09:45,797 --> 00:09:48,265
You gave my father a Iap dance.

159
00:09:51,669 --> 00:09:54,194
Why do they put
so much steam in there?

160
00:09:55,773 --> 00:10:00,506
Because otherwise they'd
have to caII it the ''room'' room.

161
00:10:02,013 --> 00:10:06,074
Why?
Why did that have to happen?

162
00:10:06,885 --> 00:10:08,512
Come on, it's not that big a deaI.

163
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,086
Not that big a deaI?

164
00:10:11,356 --> 00:10:13,722
There was touching of things.

165
00:10:13,925 --> 00:10:16,086
I know you wanted
to bond with my dad...

166
00:10:16,327 --> 00:10:19,490
...but did you have to bond
to that part?

167
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,495
I'm sure Dad doesn't care.

168
00:10:24,736 --> 00:10:26,226
He probabIy thought it was funny.

169
00:10:26,504 --> 00:10:28,233
He'II be teIIing this story for years.

170
00:10:28,439 --> 00:10:31,237
I don't want him to teII
this story for years.

171
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:33,841
Oh, but he wiII.

172
00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:38,740
He stiII teIIs the story about how
Monica tried to escape from fat camp.

173
00:10:40,585 --> 00:10:41,711
I wasn't escaping.

174
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,184
Then how'd you get caught
in the barbed wire?

175
00:10:45,356 --> 00:10:47,051
I was trying to heIp out a s<i>q</i>uirreI.

176
00:10:47,258 --> 00:10:49,055
You were trying to eat it.

177
00:10:52,463 --> 00:10:55,227
If that is your father caIIing
to teII this story...

178
00:10:55,433 --> 00:10:57,196
...then the marriage is off!

179
00:10:57,702 --> 00:10:59,761
Come on. HeIIo.

180
00:11:00,471 --> 00:11:02,837
I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.

181
00:11:03,074 --> 00:11:04,974
I'II caII you Iater, Dad.
I Iove you.

182
00:11:11,783 --> 00:11:13,250
I'm off to see your dad.

183
00:11:14,085 --> 00:11:15,484
Aren't you a IittIe overdressed?

184
00:11:17,455 --> 00:11:20,947
You better make sure
he tips you this time.

185
00:11:22,060 --> 00:11:25,359
I figured I wouId try to convince
him not to teII the story anymore...

186
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:28,464
...and I figured the best way
to do that was face to face.

187
00:11:28,733 --> 00:11:31,224
And by ''face,'' I don't mean his Iap.

188
00:11:31,469 --> 00:11:34,302
And by ''face,'' I don't mean my ass.

189
00:11:37,108 --> 00:11:39,906
Are you getting Monica and
ChandIer a present?

190
00:11:40,111 --> 00:11:42,477
I don't know. You know,
they didn't get us anything.

191
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:44,307
Thank you!

192
00:11:46,384 --> 00:11:47,442
Hey.

193
00:11:47,952 --> 00:11:49,180
WeII, heIIo.

194
00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:52,287
So when are we getting
back out on the water, matey?

195
00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:56,689
I don't know the boat way
to say this, but never!

196
00:11:58,630 --> 00:11:59,654
Why not?

197
00:11:59,897 --> 00:12:02,263
Because you're mean on the boat.

198
00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,697
I was just trying to teach you.

199
00:12:04,936 --> 00:12:07,336
WeII, Iesson Iearned.
RacheI is mean.

200
00:12:08,306 --> 00:12:11,434
Yep, yep, yep.

201
00:12:12,543 --> 00:12:14,670
I remember when she took me out
on her dad's boat.

202
00:12:14,946 --> 00:12:16,811
She wouIdn't Iet me heIp at aII.

203
00:12:17,015 --> 00:12:18,983
E<i>x</i>cuse me, I wanted you to heIp.

204
00:12:19,217 --> 00:12:20,411
But you couIdn't move...

205
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,621
...because you were wearing
three Iife jackets.

206
00:12:24,856 --> 00:12:27,689
You have to respect the sea.

207
00:12:29,227 --> 00:12:31,923
Joey, I'm sorry if you thought
that was mean.

208
00:12:32,163 --> 00:12:34,188
But I teII you, that was not mean.

209
00:12:34,465 --> 00:12:38,333
My father is mean. He used to aIways
yeII at me on the boat.

210
00:12:38,569 --> 00:12:41,663
It was horribIe.
I was being a reaIIy good teacher.

211
00:12:41,873 --> 00:12:44,740
Does a good teacher say,
''Put down the beer, pinhead!''

212
00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:49,002
Does a good student drink seven beers
during his first Iesson?

213
00:12:49,547 --> 00:12:50,741
Si<i>x</i> and a haIf.

214
00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:53,250
You knocked the Iast
one out of my hand, remember?

215
00:12:53,484 --> 00:12:55,384
I didn't want you to get hit
by the boom.

216
00:12:55,586 --> 00:12:56,951
WeII, it hit me anyway.

217
00:12:57,188 --> 00:13:00,351
It wouId have hurt a Iot Iess
if I had finished that Iast beer.

218
00:13:01,359 --> 00:13:06,490
I'm sorry. I wiII try to tone it down
and stop yeIIing.

219
00:13:07,198 --> 00:13:08,563
No bossing me around?

220
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,562
-I won't boss you around.
-And be nice?

221
00:13:10,768 --> 00:13:12,463
-I'II be nice.
-You'II be topIess?

222
00:13:13,538 --> 00:13:16,029
-Joey!
-You want me to Iearn?

223
00:13:21,579 --> 00:13:25,481
Here's batch 22.
Maybe these are Iike your grandma's.

224
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:28,584
This has a bit of orange peeI,
but no nutmeg.

225
00:13:28,853 --> 00:13:30,480
Let's give it a shot.

226
00:13:30,855 --> 00:13:33,415
I haven't made so many cookies
since 9th grade.

227
00:13:33,624 --> 00:13:35,216
What for, a bake saIe?

228
00:13:35,426 --> 00:13:37,360
No, just a Friday night.

229
00:13:43,034 --> 00:13:44,296
These are pretty good.

230
00:13:44,535 --> 00:13:46,435
Yeah, but not as good as batch 1 7.

231
00:13:46,637 --> 00:13:47,695
Which one was that?

232
00:13:47,905 --> 00:13:50,032
The ones we had after
you aImost threw up.

233
00:13:51,075 --> 00:13:53,202
Oh, yeah, batch 1 7 was good.

234
00:13:53,444 --> 00:13:56,538
I did not Iike batch 1 6.

235
00:13:58,049 --> 00:13:59,641
I'm okay.

236
00:14:00,818 --> 00:14:04,117
Any more from the good batch?
We couId work off those.

237
00:14:04,322 --> 00:14:07,780
I think there's one Ieft.

238
00:14:12,230 --> 00:14:15,722
Batch 1 6.
Si<i>x</i>teen, peopIe, get out of the way!

239
00:14:23,107 --> 00:14:26,975
Okay, Joey. You're doing reaIIy good.

240
00:14:27,178 --> 00:14:29,339
I just need you
to step to the portside.

241
00:14:34,685 --> 00:14:37,176
Remember taIking about the portside?

242
00:14:37,422 --> 00:14:38,946
Oh, yeah.

243
00:14:39,157 --> 00:14:40,317
No.

244
00:14:41,959 --> 00:14:45,690
It's Ieft, sweetie, but that's okay.
That's a tough one.

245
00:14:45,930 --> 00:14:47,329
Why not just say Ieft?

246
00:14:47,565 --> 00:14:49,294
Okay, go to the Ieft.

247
00:14:54,272 --> 00:14:55,637
The Ieft.

248
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:56,864
Just sit over there!

249
00:14:57,108 --> 00:14:59,269
You're yeIIing again. See that?

250
00:14:59,477 --> 00:15:03,436
Oh, no, no. Very <i>q</i>uiet.
Said with Iove, no yeIIing.

251
00:15:05,883 --> 00:15:10,582
You know what? Since I'm here,
I'm gonna have a beer on the portside.

252
00:15:11,889 --> 00:15:13,584
See what I did there?

253
00:15:17,395 --> 00:15:20,330
We're Iuffing a IittIe.
Can you tighten up the Cunningham?

254
00:15:20,965 --> 00:15:24,628
You just said a bunch
of stuff I don't know.

255
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:27,532
Joey, come on!
We just went over this.

256
00:15:27,805 --> 00:15:29,705
We did that when that bird...

257
00:15:29,974 --> 00:15:31,999
...fIew over with the fish
in his mouth.

258
00:15:32,243 --> 00:15:33,904
Did you see it? It was gross.

259
00:15:34,145 --> 00:15:36,204
I did not see the bird or the fish!

260
00:15:36,481 --> 00:15:39,507
I did not see the piece of
Styrofoam shaped Iike Mike Tyson!

261
00:15:41,385 --> 00:15:44,980
I did not, because I was trying
to teach you how to saiI a boat.

262
00:15:45,223 --> 00:15:48,021
Which obviousIy is
an impossibIe thing to do.

263
00:15:48,226 --> 00:15:51,320
You're yeIIing, and I don't
see you taking your top off.

264
00:15:51,562 --> 00:15:53,052
I <i>q</i>uit!

265
00:15:53,998 --> 00:15:57,126
-What do you mean? You can't <i>q</i>uit.
-Why not?

266
00:15:57,335 --> 00:16:00,236
You're not finished! I won't have it.
Greens do not <i>q</i>uit.

267
00:16:01,205 --> 00:16:02,866
Greens?

268
00:16:03,174 --> 00:16:06,200
I'm a Tribbiani. Tribbianis <i>q</i>uit.

269
00:16:09,514 --> 00:16:10,708
Oh, my God.

270
00:16:10,948 --> 00:16:13,917
I just said, ''Greens don't <i>q</i>uit,''
didn't I?

271
00:16:14,151 --> 00:16:15,413
Did I say, ''Greens don't <i>q</i>uit''?

272
00:16:15,653 --> 00:16:18,679
Yes! And you're stiII yeIIing at me.

273
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,859
No, I'm not yeIIing at you.
I'm just yeIIing near you.

274
00:16:22,059 --> 00:16:23,924
Oh, God, Joey. I'm my father.

275
00:16:24,195 --> 00:16:26,857
Oh, my God. This is horribIe.

276
00:16:27,965 --> 00:16:31,867
I try so hard not to be my mother,
I didn't see this coming.

277
00:16:35,206 --> 00:16:39,575
I'm so sorry.
I just wanted you to Iearn.

278
00:16:44,448 --> 00:16:45,813
I did Iearn.

279
00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:49,451
-ReaIIy?
-Yeah, come on.

280
00:16:49,687 --> 00:16:51,211
It's okay.

281
00:16:51,422 --> 00:16:53,322
I know what a mainsaiI is.

282
00:16:53,991 --> 00:16:57,927
I know to duck when
the boom comes across.

283
00:16:59,697 --> 00:17:01,221
-I know port is right.
-Left.

284
00:17:01,432 --> 00:17:02,729
Damn it!

285
00:17:06,003 --> 00:17:08,437
What are we gonna do
with aII these cookies?

286
00:17:09,407 --> 00:17:10,704
Joey.

287
00:17:11,776 --> 00:17:14,244
It wouId make my grandmother happy...

288
00:17:14,445 --> 00:17:17,380
...that we're trying
to figure out her recipe.

289
00:17:17,615 --> 00:17:22,075
I bet she's Iooking up at us
and smiIing right now.

290
00:17:23,654 --> 00:17:25,519
Looking up?

291
00:17:25,723 --> 00:17:30,319
She was reaIIy nice to me,
but she's in heII for sure.

292
00:17:32,163 --> 00:17:33,289
WeII, I've tried everything.

293
00:17:33,564 --> 00:17:35,259
I give up.
I'm not gonna be the mom...

294
00:17:35,533 --> 00:17:37,160
...who makes the worId's
best cookies.

295
00:17:37,768 --> 00:17:42,603
I do make the best
duck confit with broccoIi raab.

296
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,034
Kids Iove that, right?

297
00:17:46,611 --> 00:17:49,671
Isn't there any reIative
that has the recipe?

298
00:17:49,947 --> 00:17:51,414
What about your sister?

299
00:17:51,616 --> 00:17:54,449
No. I made a promise to
myseIf that the ne<i>x</i>t time...

300
00:17:54,652 --> 00:17:57,780
...I wouId taIk to UrsuIa
is over my dead body.

301
00:17:59,190 --> 00:18:03,820
And that's not happening
tiII October 1 5, 2032.

302
00:18:04,095 --> 00:18:06,325
That's the day you're gonna die?

303
00:18:06,597 --> 00:18:08,656
I've got shuffIeboard that day.

304
00:18:10,267 --> 00:18:11,256
That's what you think.

305
00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:18,807
What about friends of your grandma?
WouIdn't they have the recipe?

306
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:23,106
I may have reIatives in France
who wouId know.

307
00:18:23,314 --> 00:18:28,377
My grandmother said she got it from
her grandmother, ''NestIey TouIouse.''

308
00:18:30,287 --> 00:18:31,276
What was her name?

309
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:34,685
NestIey TouIouse.

310
00:18:36,527 --> 00:18:38,859
NestIé ToII House?

311
00:18:44,135 --> 00:18:46,797
You Americans aIways butcher
the French Ianguage.

312
00:18:48,739 --> 00:18:51,230
Phoebe, is this the recipe?

313
00:18:53,744 --> 00:18:55,143
Yes!

314
00:18:58,249 --> 00:18:59,409
Oh.

315
00:19:00,017 --> 00:19:01,814
I cannot beIieve that I spent...

316
00:19:02,019 --> 00:19:04,146
...two days figuring out that recipe.

317
00:19:04,388 --> 00:19:05,821
It was here the whoIe time!

318
00:19:06,023 --> 00:19:09,925
I know! You see,
it is stuff Iike this...

319
00:19:10,194 --> 00:19:12,662
...which is why
you're burning in heII!

320
00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:17,990
<i>So you understand.</i>

321
00:19:18,202 --> 00:19:20,762
I'd feeI better if you
didn't teII what happened.

322
00:19:21,005 --> 00:19:23,838
I'm a IittIe embarrassed about it.

323
00:19:24,075 --> 00:19:26,009
I understand compIeteIy.

324
00:19:26,243 --> 00:19:29,940
Nothing's scarier than embarrassing
yourseIf in front of your in-Iaws.

325
00:19:30,214 --> 00:19:34,412
As a matter of fact, when I started
dating Judy, I was unempIoyed.

326
00:19:34,652 --> 00:19:36,916
Her father asked me
what I did for a Iiving.

327
00:19:37,154 --> 00:19:38,917
I said I was a Iawyer.

328
00:19:39,356 --> 00:19:41,586
-What'd you do when they found out?
-They never did.

329
00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:45,592
So if you ever see me giving them
IegaI advice, just nod aIong.

330
00:19:47,064 --> 00:19:48,292
ShaII we?

331
00:20:03,414 --> 00:20:06,247
So, I guess we wear swimsuits in here.

332
00:20:17,595 --> 00:20:20,860
WeII, Joey, I hate to admit it...

333
00:20:21,065 --> 00:20:23,590
...your way of saiIing
is a Iot more fun.

334
00:20:26,237 --> 00:20:29,434
Why don't you give a puII
on that rope?

335
00:20:29,707 --> 00:20:30,765
We're not saiIing.

336
00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:34,204
-Just puII on it.
-AII right.

337
00:20:39,083 --> 00:20:40,641
Sandwiches!

338
00:20:40,885 --> 00:20:42,443
What eIse?

339
00:20:43,587 --> 00:20:45,020
Here you go.

340
00:20:45,389 --> 00:20:47,380
-Thank you.
-Oh, wow.

341
00:20:51,095 --> 00:20:52,892
-What are you doing?
-Sorry.

342
00:20:53,130 --> 00:20:56,429
Not Iike that. You're Ietting
aII the good stuff faII out.

343
00:20:56,734 --> 00:21:00,602
CarefuI!
You're wasting good pastrami!

344
00:21:03,474 --> 00:21:06,170
Oh, my God. I'm my dad!

345
00:21:12,550 --> 00:21:13,539
[ENGLISH]