1
00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:06,736
So it seems like this lnternet thing
is here to stay, huh?

2
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,007
It's okay not to talk.

3
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,506
Hey, you guys, guess what.

4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,081
-Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce.
-Oh, my God.

5
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:19,509
What is the matter with you?

6
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,982
No. Barry and Mindy.

7
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,455
Oh, sorry. I hear "divorce,"
I immediately go to Ross.

8
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,623
Who's Barry and Mindy?

9
00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:34,028
Barry was the guy that I almost married,
and Mindy was my best friend.

10
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:35,927
Wasn't he cheating on you with her?

11
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:39,435
But that just means he was falling
asleep on top of her instead of me.

12
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,174
-Why did they get divorced?
-Well, apparently...

13
00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:46,141
she caught him cheating on her
with someone else.

14
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:48,771
Isn't that sad?

15
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:54,352
Can you imagine if I'd married him?
How different would my life be?

16
00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:57,249
I've always wondered
how different my life would be...

17
00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,321
if I'd never gotten divorced.

18
00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:01,457
-Which time?
-The first time!

19
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:05,688
Imagine if Carol hadn't realized
she was a lesbian.

20
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:11,299
I can't.
I keep seeing it the good way.

21
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,406
I bet I'd still be doing my karate.

22
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:22,814
Towards the end of our marriage,
I did a lot of karate to release the tension...

23
00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:26,143
from not doing anything
else physical.

24
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,844
Maybe the problem was
you were pronouncing it "ka-ra-tay."

25
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,084
What if I was still fat?

26
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,816
You wouldn't be dating me,
that's for sure.

27
00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:37,689
-Sure I would.
-Come on.

28
00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:40,231
You guys really think I'm that shallow?

29
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,195
No, I just think Monica
was that fat.

30
00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:47,897
Hey, imagine if I'd never got fired
off Days of Our Lives.

31
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,372
Hey. Hey, there's Carol again.

32
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,678
What if I had had the guts
to quit my job?

33
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:58,782
I'd probably be writing for
The New Yorker, being paid to be funny.

34
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:02,021
But my job's fun too.
I mean, tomorrow...

35
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,188
I don't have to wear a tie.

36
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,688
What if I'd taken that job
at Merrill Lynch?

37
00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,790
-What?
-Merrill Lynch?

38
00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:14,363
I had a massage client who worked there,
and he said I had a knack for stocks.

39
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:15,864
Why didn't you take the job?

40
00:02:16,035 --> 00:02:19,596
Because at that time, I thought that
everything that rhymed was true.

41
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,797
I thought if I worked with stocks...

42
00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:26,477
I'd have to live in a box
and only eat lox and have a pet fox.

43
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,378
Yeah, you don't want that
in a broker.

44
00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:35,783
Do you guys think if all those things
happened, we'd still hang out?

45
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:41,193
The One That Could Have Been

46
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,880
Oh, my God. Rachel Green?

47
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:43,178
Rob Tilman!

48
00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:46,583
No, no, it's me. Ross.

49
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:50,056
Oh, I'm sorry. Ross Tilman.

50
00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:55,898
-No. No, no. Ross Geller.
-Of course! Monica's brother.

51
00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:58,729
-Yeah. Right.
-Wow! How are you?

52
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,803
Good. Good. I'm married.

53
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:02,707
Me too!

54
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:06,704
-Isn't it the best?
-Oh, it's the best.

55
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:12,950
-So how's Monica?
-Really, really great.

56
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:17,952
Actually, she's right down the street.
You should stop by and say hi.

57
00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:20,818
-I would love to.
-She'd be so excited.

58
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:21,983
-Okay.
-Come on.

59
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,396
Wait, don't you have
to pay for...

60
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,497
Busty Ladies?

61
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:33,804
No, that's okay. Some kid asked me
to pick it up for him, but I....

62
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:40,573
Don't you have to give him
his money back?

63
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,551
Here you go, buddy.
Sorry, no porn for you.

64
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:48,846
Okay, let's go see Monica.

65
00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:59,156
So, Monica.
Still going out with Dr. Boring, huh?

66
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:03,233
He's not boring. He's just...

67
00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:07,096
He's low-key.

68
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:11,009
-Here you go, one hazelnut latte.
-Thank you.

69
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:14,907
You know, the hazelnut,
actually not a nut.

70
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:17,012
It's a seed.

71
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,340
Wow.

72
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:24,882
Can anyone else name a well-known seed
that's been masquerading as a nut?

73
00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:27,615
Oh, dear God. Let me think.

74
00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:32,620
What's the matter?

75
00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:34,298
I got another rejection letter.

76
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:38,129
They said my writing was funny,
just not "Archie Comic" funny.

77
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,430
I gotta get back to the hospital.

78
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:44,303
-Bye.
-Bye-bye.

79
00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:49,111
By the way, the answer is:
the Brazil nut.

80
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:55,617
Was his question,
"What's more boring than him?"

81
00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:58,918
And nice sweater vest,
by the way.

82
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:02,527
-Stop it, guys. He's sweet.
-Yeah, yeah.

83
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,163
Hey, man.
Sorry about the Archie thing.

84
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,957
You need me to
give you some money?

85
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:10,397
I may have no money,
but I still have my pride.

86
00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:12,893
Really?

87
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:19,537
Joey doesn't have to give you the money.

88
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,610
-TV stars have assistants, right?
-That's an idea.

89
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:26,010
If I hire an assistant,
would you take money from her?

90
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:29,386
No, Joey.
Chandler could be your assistant.

91
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,750
He could answer
all your fan mail and stuff.

92
00:06:32,024 --> 00:06:34,925
-That would be great! Let's do that!
-I could use the money.

93
00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:36,186
I'd have time to write.

94
00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:38,089
-Great. Welcome aboard!
-Okay!

95
00:06:38,297 --> 00:06:40,390
All right. Now, I need to use the bathroom.

96
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,763
Since I don't need any assistance
in there, take a break!

97
00:06:44,036 --> 00:06:45,230
All right.

98
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:48,733
-Hey.
-Hey, Phoebe.

99
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,638
Guess what. Joey just hired
Chandler to be his assistant.

100
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:53,971
That's so sweet.

101
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,441
Oh! Hang on!

102
00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:58,579
Hang on!

103
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,480
Go!

104
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:06,582
No. No, no.
I said sell when it hits 50!

105
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:10,421
Five-oh! It's a number!
It comes after four-nine!

106
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:14,600
No, it's okay. It's okay.
You're allowed one mistake.

107
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,893
Just kidding.
You are, of course, fired.

108
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:23,740
Oh, what a shame.
I really liked her.

109
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,607
Hey, Mon?
Mon, look who I ran into!

110
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,611
Oh, my God, Rachel!

111
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:36,351
-God, you look terrific!
-So do you!

112
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:41,388
-Did you lose weight?
-You are so sweet to notice.

113
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,185
Yes, I lost 3.5 pounds!

114
00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:50,059
You remember my friend Chandler.

115
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,270
-And that's Phoebe over there.
-Hi.

116
00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:56,169
Sit down. How long has it
been since we've seen each other?

117
00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:59,936
1987, the day after Christmas.
Sean McMahan's party.

118
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:04,673
I played you one of my songs, you know,
"lnterplanetary Courtship Ritual."

119
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:08,847
Oh, yeah. Right.

120
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:12,387
-So, now, do you still do music?
-Well, sometimes.

121
00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:15,220
-Come over sometime. I'll play you..
-Oh, my God!

122
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:21,032
Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives
just walked in here!

123
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:25,899
-Rach, he's a friend of ours.
-You're friends with Dr. Drake Ramoray?

124
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:29,436
It's hard to be friends with Drake...

125
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:33,373
because of his busy schedule
and the fact that he's not real.

126
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:38,339
Hey, or I could bring
my keyboard here sometime.

127
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,051
-He's coming over.
-Joey?

128
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,686
I know. Here, here.

129
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:47,155
No. This is my friend Rachel.
We went to high school together.

130
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,987
-Hi.
-Hi.

131
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,832
I love you on that show.

132
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,894
I watch you every day.

133
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:59,094
When you took out your own kidney
to save your ex-wife...

134
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,068
even though
she tried to kill you...

135
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,707
It's always nice to meet fans.

136
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,339
-She's not crazy, is she?
-No.

137
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:11,875
So how you doing?

138
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,554
Hang on.

139
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:24,894
Hang on. Hang on.

140
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,056
Go!

141
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,662
Who's this?

142
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,960
You're gonna like working for me.

143
00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:34,900
What's your name?
What kind of name is "Brindy"?

144
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,804
Stop talking.

145
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:42,208
All right, from now on
your name is Joan.

146
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,707
You can pick your own last name.

147
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:49,852
I can't find my pen.
Did you eat that too?

148
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:54,417
-There you are.
-Uh-oh, it's my boss.

149
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:57,895
Here's a list of things for you
to do today.

150
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,361
This is gonna be so great.
Thank you so much.

151
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,730
I gotta go to work. I'm delivering
twins today, but only one of them is mine.

152
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:13,702
"Drop off my dry cleaning.
Pick up my vitamins."

153
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,110
"Teach me how to spell vitamins."

154
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,210
"Wear in my new jeans."

155
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:24,386
-You realize what you are, don't you?
-What?

156
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,081
You're his bitch!

157
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,061
No, no! No!

158
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:32,863
Wait! You didn't sit on my
Kit Kats did you?

159
00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:36,462
No, there was a little,
little dip in the market...

160
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:38,693
and I lost 13 million dollars.

161
00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:40,963
But the Kit Kats are all right?

162
00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:44,774
What am I gonna do?
I can't call my office, they'll kill me.

163
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:48,104
I can't call my clients,
they'll kill themselves!

164
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:51,043
-Great, now my chest hurts.
-What?

165
00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:53,080
My chest hurts.

166
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:58,416
-And now I can't breathe.
-Are you having a heart attack?

167
00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:02,219
If I were, would I have shooting
pains up and down my left arm?

168
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,293
-Yes.
-Then, yes. That is what I'm having.

169
00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:07,259
Oh, my God!

170
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:16,267
Okay, this thing is useless.
So will you dial 911 for me?

171
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:21,209
Come on, Phoebe, it's not that bad.

172
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,642
Most people would be excited if they
didn't work for a couple weeks.

173
00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:27,876
Most people don't like their jobs.
I love my job.

174
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:32,215
I've been not working for three hours,
and I'm already going crazy.

175
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:34,052
I miss Joan.

176
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,922
Honey, having a heart attack is nature's
way of telling you to slow down.

177
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:42,861
I always thought having a heart attack
was nature's way of telling you to die.

178
00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:46,037
You're not gonna die.

179
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:50,572
I mean, you are going to die,
but you're not gonna die today.

180
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,036
I wish I was dead.

181
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:54,972
Let's take a walk.

182
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:58,947
You should consider writing for
Talking Out of Your Ass magazine.

183
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,212
What's going on with you?

184
00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:09,592
Well, I've been doing a lot more
of my karate.

185
00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:13,561
-Still a dry spell with Carol?
-Yeah.

186
00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:16,200
How long has it been since
you've had sex?

187
00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:19,561
-Well, last weekend...
-Oh, that's not so bad.

188
00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:22,467
will be two months...

189
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:25,603
since I stopped trying.

190
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,607
You need to spice things up.

191
00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:30,371
-What do you mean?
-I don't know.

192
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,814
You could tie her up.
You could eat stuff off each other.

193
00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:38,950
Dirty talk, menage a trois, toys.

194
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:42,326
Role-playing.
You're the warden, she's the prisoner.

195
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:46,053
-You're the pirate, she's the wench.
-Okay, I think I got it.

196
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:50,166
Or you could be two stockbrokers, and
you're rolling naked on the trading floor...

197
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,393
and everybody's watching.

198
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,802
It never happened.

199
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:05,441
Sorry.

200
00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:10,282
-So how is it going with Joey?
-Just great. He beeps me now with codes.

201
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,185
One is: "Bring me food."

202
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,657
Two is:
"I'm with a girl. Bring us food."

203
00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:19,059
Three is:
"I'm lost and I can't find food."

204
00:13:19,231 --> 00:13:21,461
Oh, sweetie.

205
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:24,429
Is there any food around here?

206
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,736
-Is she gonna be all right?
-Yeah, she's in there.

207
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,398
Oh, great.

208
00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:34,076
Go take off those pants.
They look ready.

209
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,586
And over there is Brady's Pub...

210
00:13:41,787 --> 00:13:44,722
where I like to unwind
after a long day of "surgeoning."

211
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:47,619
This is so amazing. What else?

212
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:50,953
Well, that is a large piece
of television equipment.

213
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,892
And that is an old man.

214
00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:54,656
-Hey, old man!
-Hey.

215
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:58,165
Alrighty. What do you say we head
back to my place?

216
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:03,841
You know, I would really love to,
but I shouldn't.

217
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:08,443
Why?
Why can't the world stop turning...

218
00:14:09,748 --> 00:14:12,649
just for a moment, just for us?

219
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:15,943
Isn't that a line from the show?

220
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,321
Yeah, but...

221
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,461
I may have said
those things before, but...

222
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:27,826
I never truly meant them until now.

223
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,926
That's a line from the show too!

224
00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:33,765
Okay, you watch too much TV.

225
00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:37,475
Here's the freshly
squeezed orange juice you asked for.

226
00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:38,632
Thanks.

227
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:42,004
There's pulp in that.

228
00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:49,145
I thought we talked about this.
I don't like pulp.

229
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,982
No pulp. Pulp isn't juice.
All juice.

230
00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:56,150
I'm sorry.
I guess I just like the pulp.

231
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,328
I'm sorry.
I am being so rude.

232
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:02,692
Rachel, would you like a soda
or something?

233
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:06,733
Because Chandler will
run right out and get it.

234
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,867
Yeah, well, sure,
iced tea would be great.

235
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,337
Iced tea.

236
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,905
Okay. Anything for you, sir?

237
00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:19,583
Did I not just tell him?

238
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,016
Okay, look, Chandler,
if this is gonna work...

239
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:27,886
you have got to listen.

240
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,824
You're gonna throw that juice at me,
aren't you?

241
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,261
It's not all juice.

242
00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:43,102
So, honey, this morning was fun, huh?

243
00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:47,106
Me hopping in on you
in the shower there?

244
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:51,008
Yeah, maybe someday we could get
a place with two bathrooms.

245
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:58,116
Look, Carol, I was thinking maybe...

246
00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,223
Maybe we can spice things
up a little.

247
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:04,691
-What do you mean?
-Carol, our sex life. It's just not..

248
00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:08,127
-Dad!
-Hey there, little fella!

249
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,693
Why don't we
get some shoes on you, huh?

250
00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:13,962
Why don't you show Dad how you
can put your shoes on in your room.

251
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,438
Seriously, our sex life.

252
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,607
I was thinking maybe, I don't know...

253
00:16:23,882 --> 00:16:26,749
we could try some new
things, you know, for fun.

254
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,819
-Like what?
-Well, I don't know.

255
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,260
What if we were to...

256
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,220
tie each other up?

257
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:51,333
Some people eat stuff
off one another.

258
00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:54,639
Yeah.

259
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:58,578
You know, we could try dirty talk.

260
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:04,579
-We could have a threesome.
-I love that idea!

261
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,621
Who sold a story to Archie Comics?

262
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,695
Oh, my God, that's so great.

263
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:16,665
You're a published writer.
I wish I had a present for you.

264
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:18,759
Wait a minute.

265
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:23,131
My last Kit Kat bar.

266
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:30,043
-You want to share it?
-Okay!

267
00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:36,514
Chandler, I know you're mad.
I'm sorry.

268
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:41,283
I was a total jerk.
Completely over the line.

269
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,484
I just... I hate pulp.

270
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,559
You know how Monica feels
about low-fat mayonnaise?

271
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,858
It's not mayonnaise!

272
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:56,301
Anyway, I just wanted to say
I'm sorry, and here.

273
00:17:56,675 --> 00:18:00,304
-What's this?
-Fresh-squeezed orange juice, with pulp.

274
00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:04,004
-Just the way you like it.
-Thanks, man.

275
00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:07,678
Hey, Joey.

276
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:12,886
Joey? Chandler sold a story
to Archie Comics.

277
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,289
That's great! Congratulations!
What's the story?

278
00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:19,791
You wouldn't care.
It's just a stupid comic book story.

279
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,557
Are you kidding me?
I love Archie and the whole gang.

280
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:30,399
Well, Archie needs money
to fix his jalopy.

281
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:37,607
But he doesn't want Reggie
to just give him the money.

282
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:40,477
So Reggie hires him as his assist..

283
00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:44,585
As his butler.

284
00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:46,986
And then makes him do crazy things...

285
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:50,625
Like bring him milk shakes
that can't have lumps in them.

286
00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:55,897
Wait a minute.
That sounds a little familiar.

287
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,438
Did they already do that one?
I think I read it!

288
00:19:04,943 --> 00:19:07,434
Monica, listen. I have to ask.

289
00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:11,911
Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back
to his apartment.

290
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:16,918
-Does he do this with a lot of girls?
-Yeah, a lot. A lot, a lot.

291
00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:19,118
And I'm one of them.

292
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:26,488
I just cannot believe this.
I mean, Joey Tribbiani.

293
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,360
You don't have to use his last name.

294
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:32,231
But, Monica, come on,
it's Joey Tribbiani.

295
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:34,729
I guess you have to.

296
00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:37,407
It's none of my business,
but aren't you married?

297
00:19:37,609 --> 00:19:38,906
Yeah.

298
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,374
I wish we could just not be married
for a little bit.

299
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:48,484
You know, I just wish we could be,
like, on a break.

300
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:53,388
Well, you're not.

301
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:57,154
It's easy for you. You're not married.
You can have sex with whoever you want.

302
00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:58,921
Yeah, I can.

303
00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:01,890
Don't think I don't. I do.

304
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:04,125
I mean, all the time. You bet!

305
00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:07,904
Monica?

306
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:11,807
You've done it, right?

307
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:18,511
Of course I have. What do you think,
I'm, like, some 30-year-old virgin?

308
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:22,279
Oh, my God.
You're a 30-year-old virgin.

309
00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:26,790
Say it louder. The guy
in the back didn't hear you.

310
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:28,751
Yeah, I heard it.

311
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:33,959
It's not like I haven't had the
opportunity.

312
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,259
I'm just waiting for the perfect guy.

313
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:39,296
I'm seeing this guy Roger.
He's not perfect...

314
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,972
but I'm thinking maybe I should
get it over with.

315
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:44,005
You know, give him my flower.

316
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:51,644
Oh, my God, do it!
Honey, you've waited long enough.

317
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:56,514
-You know what? You are right.
-Sex doesn't have to be a big deal.

318
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:59,623
There shouldn't be all these
rules and restrictions.

319
00:20:59,858 --> 00:21:02,986
People should be able to sleep
with whoever they want, whenever..

320
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:06,722
Rachel, I'm never gonna think it's
okay for you to cheat on your husband.

321
00:21:06,965 --> 00:21:08,796
What do you know, virgin?

322
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:16,500
Phoebe?

323
00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:19,677
Why is smoke coming out
of the bathroom?

324
00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:23,642
The doctor said that could be
one of the side effects.

325
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:26,679
Put the cigarette out.

326
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:30,752
No, it's not a cigarette.
The smoke is coming out of me!

327
00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:34,048
-Put it out.
-Okay, okay!

328
00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:39,364
-I'm so glad you're here.
-Come on.

329
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:42,026
-I got it.
-Give it to me!

330
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:43,667
-I got it.
-Give it!

331
00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:49,670
Hello?

332
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,240
She can't come to the phone now.

333
00:21:53,078 --> 00:21:55,911
Right. No problem.
Okay, bye-bye.

334
00:21:56,214 --> 00:21:58,774
Was it my work? Were they mad?
Was it Jack? Did he yell?

335
00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:01,248
No, just relax. Nobody yelled.

336
00:22:01,453 --> 00:22:04,115
Jack was making sure you
were getting better.

337
00:22:04,356 --> 00:22:05,721
Thank God.

338
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:07,853
Yeah, she's fired.

339
00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:14,294
You've done all you can, Dr. Wesley.

340
00:22:14,599 --> 00:22:16,590
You've got to let her go.

341
00:22:17,703 --> 00:22:20,297
Goodbye and Godspeed, Hope Brady.

342
00:22:21,807 --> 00:22:23,536
Not so fast, Wesley.

343
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:26,433
Ramoray!

344
00:22:27,212 --> 00:22:29,112
That's right, Wesley.

345
00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:34,078
I just stopped by to say that
you're not a real doctor.

346
00:22:34,319 --> 00:22:37,379
And that woman's brain is fine.

347
00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:39,283
Oh, thank God.

348
00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:52,062
-Hope? Hope?
-Drake.

349
00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:53,566
You're not dying, Hope.

350
00:22:53,939 --> 00:22:57,773
You're gonna live a long,
healthy life. With me.

351
00:22:58,076 --> 00:22:59,634
Oh, Drake.

352
00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:05,745
Okay.

353
00:23:06,351 --> 00:23:07,648
Here we go.

354
00:23:13,792 --> 00:23:16,818
Hi, Joey? It's Rachel.

355
00:23:17,095 --> 00:23:20,155
I am free tomorrow night.

356
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:24,796
Yeah, sure, sure,
I can bring some sandwiches.

357
00:23:31,276 --> 00:23:32,868
So, honey...

358
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:36,210
this threesome thing?

359
00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:39,410
How are we even gonna start to find..?

360
00:23:39,651 --> 00:23:43,382
Actually, I'm making a list of women
I know who might be into this.

361
00:23:52,631 --> 00:23:53,620
Boy.

362
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:58,232
Someone's been
doing their homework.

363
00:23:59,671 --> 00:24:01,866
I know Gail Rosten
is in there twice...

364
00:24:02,073 --> 00:24:03,301
but she is so....

365
00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:05,408
Oh, I know.

366
00:24:07,345 --> 00:24:11,281
You know, just talking about it
is getting me kind of...

367
00:24:11,516 --> 00:24:13,279
I know. Me too.

368
00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:15,275
I think Ben's asleep.

369
00:24:18,356 --> 00:24:23,089
You know, I think it'll be
better if we just save it.

370
00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:28,592
Right. Save it.
I can do that.

371
00:24:37,676 --> 00:24:39,405
Why do you always wear
that dumb hat?

372
00:24:39,578 --> 00:24:41,910
What, you late for your paper route?

373
00:24:42,614 --> 00:24:44,582
"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Jones.
Here's your paper.

374
00:24:44,749 --> 00:24:46,910
I'm sorry about your window."

375
00:24:50,922 --> 00:24:52,913
Hey, Phoebe.

376
00:24:53,291 --> 00:24:54,280
How's it going?

377
00:24:54,526 --> 00:24:58,087
I've got to get out of this bed.
I'm going crazy here! Crazy!

378
00:24:58,630 --> 00:24:59,892
Here you go, sweetie.

379
00:25:00,098 --> 00:25:03,261
What the hell is this, herbal tea?
I hate herbal tea.

380
00:25:04,603 --> 00:25:06,537
Well, I put some honey in it.

381
00:25:09,941 --> 00:25:13,570
-She doesn't know she was fired?
-No, the doctors say it may kill her.

382
00:25:13,778 --> 00:25:15,939
What are you girls
whispering about over there?

383
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:20,375
But I think we should tell her.

384
00:25:20,852 --> 00:25:24,219
Look, Phoebe, maybe this whole
heart-attack thing is a sign...

385
00:25:24,389 --> 00:25:27,415
that you should start thinking
about getting a different job.

386
00:25:27,592 --> 00:25:29,583
Okay, what is this,
a stupid contest?

387
00:25:29,761 --> 00:25:32,252
Because we've got a winner here.

388
00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:35,957
He's right. People are not supposed
to have heart attacks at 31.

389
00:25:36,134 --> 00:25:38,728
I know. But if I didn't work there,
what else would I do?

390
00:25:38,904 --> 00:25:43,170
-You used to like playing the guitar.
-That was lucrative. Smart like your brother.

391
00:25:44,643 --> 00:25:47,806
What about the massage thing?
That never gave you a heart attack.

392
00:25:48,179 --> 00:25:50,272
Pulling in a salary
in the high six figures...

393
00:25:50,448 --> 00:25:52,712
or rubbing gross naked people
for chump change.

394
00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:55,478
What do I do? What will I do?

395
00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:03,521
I mean, it's just so realistic.

396
00:26:03,695 --> 00:26:05,492
I know.

397
00:26:05,664 --> 00:26:06,995
His name's Pat.

398
00:26:07,165 --> 00:26:09,861
Pat the dog.

399
00:26:10,035 --> 00:26:11,297
I get it!

400
00:26:19,177 --> 00:26:20,337
Ready for a refill?

401
00:26:20,712 --> 00:26:22,270
I probably shouldn't.

402
00:26:23,014 --> 00:26:24,003
So I will!

403
00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:32,521
-It's like it's raining.
-Pretty cool, huh?

404
00:26:32,724 --> 00:26:34,954
But if you think you could put a fish
in there...

405
00:26:35,126 --> 00:26:38,118
and it wouldn't get sucked into
the mechanism, you'd be wrong.

406
00:26:40,131 --> 00:26:41,860
Can I use your bathroom?

407
00:26:42,067 --> 00:26:43,466
It's right through there.

408
00:26:46,404 --> 00:26:48,269
You know, I gotta tell you.

409
00:26:48,473 --> 00:26:50,373
If someone told me a week ago...

410
00:26:50,642 --> 00:26:54,009
that I would be peeing
in Joey Tribbiani's apartment...

411
00:26:54,212 --> 00:26:55,736
Life's pretty great, isn't it?

412
00:27:04,856 --> 00:27:06,687
I hope you're hungry.

413
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:08,949
We're starting with oysters.

414
00:27:09,594 --> 00:27:12,324
You know what they say about oysters,
don't you?

415
00:27:13,164 --> 00:27:14,529
They have parasites?

416
00:27:18,269 --> 00:27:22,000
Some people say that oysters
are an aphrodisiac.

417
00:27:23,341 --> 00:27:24,831
-What people?
-People.

418
00:27:25,043 --> 00:27:26,806
People say it.

419
00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:29,444
Come here.

420
00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:33,943
So, oysters, huh?

421
00:27:35,687 --> 00:27:38,417
Then we'll have a little
Middle Eastern couscous.

422
00:27:38,623 --> 00:27:40,090
Something we can eat...

423
00:27:40,291 --> 00:27:41,781
with our hands.

424
00:27:42,527 --> 00:27:44,722
When we were studying
communicable diseases..

425
00:27:44,896 --> 00:27:46,921
No, no. No.

426
00:27:47,132 --> 00:27:48,360
It's sensual.

427
00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:50,729
Didn't know. Okay.

428
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,571
Sorry, it's the hospital.

429
00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:59,200
The food looks great.
Save me some?

430
00:27:59,577 --> 00:28:01,545
I can't promise anything.

431
00:28:11,322 --> 00:28:13,313
We're really gonna do this?

432
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,218
Looks like it.

433
00:28:17,595 --> 00:28:21,656
If this is too weird for you,
you can still back out anytime..

434
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,262
I got it!

435
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,373
-Thank you so much for coming.
-I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

436
00:28:35,413 --> 00:28:36,778
I'm Ross, by the way.

437
00:28:37,048 --> 00:28:38,072
Hello, Ross.

438
00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:43,718
-I love what you've done with this space.
-Thank you so much.

439
00:28:47,225 --> 00:28:48,886
How hot is this?!

440
00:28:55,233 --> 00:28:57,360
I'm sorry you're here with me instead
of Roger.

441
00:28:57,569 --> 00:28:58,593
Yeah, me too.

442
00:29:00,872 --> 00:29:03,136
Well, I could make it seem like
he's here.

443
00:29:04,042 --> 00:29:07,637
"Here's some little-known facts
about couscous:

444
00:29:07,879 --> 00:29:11,280
They didn't add the second 'cous'
until 1979."

445
00:29:14,552 --> 00:29:16,144
Stop it! That's not funny!

446
00:29:17,722 --> 00:29:19,485
I'm sorry, okay?
It's just...

447
00:29:19,724 --> 00:29:23,091
tonight was supposed to be
a big deal.

448
00:29:23,461 --> 00:29:26,089
-What was tonight?
-You don't want to know.

449
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:30,628
What was tonight?

450
00:29:33,805 --> 00:29:36,399
Tonight was going to be
my first time.

451
00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:37,836
With Roger?

452
00:29:40,411 --> 00:29:42,174
Not just with Roger?

453
00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:43,471
Oh, my God.

454
00:29:43,915 --> 00:29:46,679
All right, relax,
Mr. I've-Had-Sex-Four-Times!

455
00:29:49,420 --> 00:29:51,285
Four different women!

456
00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:53,947
I've had sex way more times.

457
00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:57,159
-How many?
-Nine.

458
00:29:59,864 --> 00:30:02,264
I'm just waiting for the perfect guy.

459
00:30:02,467 --> 00:30:05,959
Good for you. You really think
that Roger's the perfect guy?

460
00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:09,266
No, but he's not a horrible guy.

461
00:30:09,874 --> 00:30:11,933
That's what I tell girls about me.

462
00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:15,044
Chandler, I'm gonna die a virgin!

463
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:18,009
No, you are not.
You are sweet and wonderful...

464
00:30:18,216 --> 00:30:19,877
and this is gonna happen for you.

465
00:30:20,084 --> 00:30:22,882
Oh, really? When?
Do you want to do it with me?

466
00:30:23,054 --> 00:30:24,544
Okay.

467
00:30:28,193 --> 00:30:29,217
I was kidding.

468
00:30:30,295 --> 00:30:31,660
So was I.

469
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,738
You're such an amazing actor.

470
00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:47,509
How do you know where
Dr. Drake Ramoray leaves off...

471
00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:50,212
and Joey Tribbiani begins?

472
00:30:51,015 --> 00:30:53,313
Well, with Dr. Drake...

473
00:30:54,052 --> 00:30:56,543
they always tell me what to say.

474
00:30:58,590 --> 00:31:03,186
And with Joey, I pretty much have to
make it up on my own.

475
00:31:05,964 --> 00:31:07,056
Tell me something, Joey.

476
00:31:11,002 --> 00:31:13,766
-I just fell right off the couch there.
-Yeah, you did.

477
00:31:14,939 --> 00:31:17,567
Here you go.
Let me ask you a question.

478
00:31:19,878 --> 00:31:21,709
When was the last time...

479
00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:25,277
someone told you
just how beautiful you are?

480
00:31:25,783 --> 00:31:26,841
Wow.

481
00:31:27,452 --> 00:31:29,352
I can't feel my hands.

482
00:31:31,022 --> 00:31:32,683
Come on. Come here.

483
00:32:03,288 --> 00:32:04,721
We can't do this.

484
00:32:06,824 --> 00:32:08,291
Oyster?

485
00:32:10,728 --> 00:32:14,129
If we did do this,
there'd be a lot of pressure on me.

486
00:32:14,432 --> 00:32:18,528
Because you've waited a long time,
and I wouldn't want to disappoint you.

487
00:32:18,736 --> 00:32:20,761
But I have nothing to compare it to.

488
00:32:20,972 --> 00:32:23,463
Even if you were horrible,
how would I know?

489
00:32:25,009 --> 00:32:26,909
I do like that.

490
00:32:27,478 --> 00:32:30,345
It's harder for me.
I have four women to compete with.

491
00:32:30,982 --> 00:32:33,473
Well, if it helps,
there were only three.

492
00:32:34,652 --> 00:32:36,279
So it'd just be for tonight, right?

493
00:32:36,487 --> 00:32:39,854
Absolutely. It would just be one
friend helping out another friend.

494
00:32:40,191 --> 00:32:42,455
Stop it. We're not doing this.

495
00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:44,020
-Let's do it!
-No!

496
00:32:44,262 --> 00:32:45,286
Okay!

497
00:32:49,033 --> 00:32:51,092
Do you have any moves?

498
00:32:54,706 --> 00:32:56,333
I have some moves.

499
00:32:57,375 --> 00:32:58,706
I have no moves.

500
00:33:01,112 --> 00:33:02,443
Okay, what you doing there?

501
00:33:04,382 --> 00:33:07,112
-I'm sorry, this is just too weird.
-Yeah, forget it.

502
00:33:08,052 --> 00:33:10,020
What if I turn out the lights?

503
00:33:21,366 --> 00:33:23,300
That's the couch.

504
00:33:27,572 --> 00:33:29,199
I know.

505
00:33:34,579 --> 00:33:36,604
Oh, my God!

506
00:33:37,915 --> 00:33:39,314
I know!

507
00:33:40,752 --> 00:33:42,117
I'll tell you something.

508
00:33:42,420 --> 00:33:44,752
We are gonna do that again!

509
00:33:59,203 --> 00:34:00,431
Morning.

510
00:34:02,140 --> 00:34:03,129
Oh, right.

511
00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:06,704
Oh, God.

512
00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:11,606
Oh, I can't believe Joey Tribbiani
heard me throw up.

513
00:34:12,717 --> 00:34:15,083
He actually saw you a little bit too.

514
00:34:18,089 --> 00:34:20,250
Oh, God, we didn't...?

515
00:34:22,627 --> 00:34:24,322
Not after seeing that.

516
00:34:26,130 --> 00:34:28,496
God, I'm just a horrible person.

517
00:34:28,966 --> 00:34:31,560
-Wh..? Why?
-Because I'm married.

518
00:34:31,836 --> 00:34:33,599
That's right, I'm a married woman.

519
00:34:33,805 --> 00:34:36,933
I came to a TV star's apartment
to have an affair.

520
00:34:38,309 --> 00:34:40,004
That's ridiculous.

521
00:34:40,344 --> 00:34:42,175
I'm not a "star."

522
00:34:43,347 --> 00:34:46,077
I'm just a regular famous actor.

523
00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:50,915
And I'm a horrible, horrible person.

524
00:34:51,222 --> 00:34:53,486
Rachel, will you stop saying that?

525
00:34:54,158 --> 00:34:55,216
Hey, look.

526
00:34:55,660 --> 00:34:59,426
Remember on the show
when Capri was dying?

527
00:34:59,764 --> 00:35:02,164
-And she gave me..
-The ring from the cave.

528
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:12,872
Oh, my God!
They let you keep that stuff?

529
00:35:13,177 --> 00:35:16,840
Sure. As long as they don't find out,
you can keep whatever you want.

530
00:35:18,015 --> 00:35:19,380
And I want you to have it.

531
00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:21,274
No, I couldn't.

532
00:35:21,552 --> 00:35:23,213
Every time you look at it...

533
00:35:23,421 --> 00:35:26,913
I want you to remember
that you are a good person.

534
00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:29,218
Now, you had the chance to cheat...

535
00:35:30,595 --> 00:35:31,960
and with me.

536
00:35:33,431 --> 00:35:37,561
But you didn't.
And that's what this ring stands for.

537
00:35:38,302 --> 00:35:41,567
But I thought that ring stood for
Capri's undying love for her brother.

538
00:35:41,772 --> 00:35:43,535
Look, you want the ring or not?

539
00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:51,877
Hey, look at you! You're up!

540
00:35:52,550 --> 00:35:54,074
I thought I'd try to take a walk.

541
00:35:54,252 --> 00:35:56,277
Will you pour me some water?
I'll be back soon.

542
00:35:56,487 --> 00:35:59,149
You're not gonna use
the pay phone to call work, are you?

543
00:35:59,457 --> 00:36:01,322
No. I've learned my lesson.

544
00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:07,828
Let's go! Come on!
Move it!

545
00:36:08,432 --> 00:36:09,899
Phoebe, come on!

546
00:36:10,134 --> 00:36:13,763
Shoes, briefcase. Thanks, Lou.
Good luck with the gallbladder.

547
00:36:20,311 --> 00:36:21,505
Hey, Joe...

548
00:36:22,446 --> 00:36:24,175
did you ever have a threesome?

549
00:36:27,818 --> 00:36:32,084
Look, Ross, I think Carol's great,
and I'm sure you're very attractive, but...

550
00:36:33,791 --> 00:36:36,521
No. The reason I'm asking is that...

551
00:36:39,263 --> 00:36:41,254
I sort of had one last night.

552
00:36:41,465 --> 00:36:42,955
You?

553
00:36:44,569 --> 00:36:47,037
All right. So? Was it amazing?

554
00:36:47,238 --> 00:36:48,603
It was...

555
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,268
okay.

556
00:36:51,909 --> 00:36:54,139
Just okay? Did you do it right?

557
00:36:55,079 --> 00:36:59,675
Look, it's just, did you ever
go to a party and think:

558
00:36:59,884 --> 00:37:03,650
"Would anyone really miss me
if I weren't here?"

559
00:37:07,258 --> 00:37:08,748
But still, Ross...

560
00:37:09,594 --> 00:37:14,156
your worst day with two women,
pretty much better than any other day.

561
00:37:20,605 --> 00:37:21,629
It's just...

562
00:37:22,306 --> 00:37:25,469
my part seemed to be over
pretty quickly...

563
00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:28,234
and then there was
a lot of waiting around.

564
00:37:30,648 --> 00:37:32,639
But you got to be with both of them.

565
00:37:33,851 --> 00:37:35,648
Not really.

566
00:37:37,655 --> 00:37:38,952
Just Carol.

567
00:37:39,156 --> 00:37:42,148
-Not the other one?
-No, she kept kicking me away.

568
00:37:42,994 --> 00:37:44,427
You don't want that.

569
00:37:46,163 --> 00:37:48,222
At least you got to
see a lot of stuff.

570
00:37:48,432 --> 00:37:51,367
Oh, I saw a lot of stuff.

571
00:37:53,704 --> 00:37:55,695
-You get a little bored?
-A little.

572
00:37:57,375 --> 00:37:58,865
Made a snack.

573
00:38:00,544 --> 00:38:03,809
-What'd you have?
-Just a sandwich.

574
00:38:04,048 --> 00:38:06,516
Turkey. A little mustard.

575
00:38:06,784 --> 00:38:08,718
-Sounds good.
-It really was.

576
00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:19,289
Let me tell you about this chick
I scored with last night.

577
00:38:19,830 --> 00:38:22,025
Wait a minute, that was you.

578
00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:25,826
Hey, check me out. I'm a slut!

579
00:38:29,307 --> 00:38:30,968
So you want to do something tonight?

580
00:38:31,175 --> 00:38:33,541
I can't.
Dr. Roger's coming over again.

581
00:38:36,414 --> 00:38:37,676
Oh, right.

582
00:38:37,915 --> 00:38:41,282
Because you're still seeing him,
and he's a good guy.

583
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:42,679
I remember a time....

584
00:38:45,056 --> 00:38:46,045
Are you okay?

585
00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:47,552
Yeah, totally.

586
00:38:48,225 --> 00:38:49,214
Totally. Are you?

587
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:51,222
Great. It's so amazing.

588
00:38:51,429 --> 00:38:54,728
Last time Dr. Roger came over,
I was so nervous.

589
00:38:54,932 --> 00:38:58,925
But after being with you,
I'm like, "Can the doctor see me now?"

590
00:38:59,737 --> 00:39:01,034
I bet he can.

591
00:39:01,238 --> 00:39:04,730
"l don't have an appointment,
but I sure could use a physical."

592
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:12,839
-You sure you're okay?
-Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

593
00:39:24,729 --> 00:39:26,253
My God! Barry!

594
00:39:26,464 --> 00:39:29,126
You said you were going to
be away all weekend!

595
00:39:29,934 --> 00:39:32,994
That's right! I'm sorry!
I am early!

596
00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:35,263
Finish, please!

597
00:39:40,911 --> 00:39:43,903
Surprise! Look who's back!

598
00:39:46,717 --> 00:39:48,048
Call security.

599
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:51,048
Phoebe, didn't you get fired?

600
00:39:51,455 --> 00:39:52,820
I don't think so.

601
00:39:56,961 --> 00:39:59,555
-What are you doing here?
-All better. Back to work.

602
00:39:59,764 --> 00:40:01,857
This clown from research
told me I was fired.

603
00:40:02,066 --> 00:40:04,125
He should do his research, huh?

604
00:40:05,269 --> 00:40:07,169
Well, you were fired.

605
00:40:10,508 --> 00:40:12,976
I told that guy
who answered your phone.

606
00:40:13,477 --> 00:40:15,809
I didn't get that message.
So this doesn't count.

607
00:40:16,013 --> 00:40:17,640
Anyway, I'll be in my office.

608
00:40:18,149 --> 00:40:20,481
Phoebe, you don't have an office.

609
00:40:21,285 --> 00:40:22,946
I'll work right here.

610
00:40:23,154 --> 00:40:25,588
This is good. Next to this plant.

611
00:40:27,858 --> 00:40:29,485
You're in my office.

612
00:40:31,195 --> 00:40:35,131
I've made a lot of cash for this
company. I am talking big bucks!

613
00:40:35,466 --> 00:40:38,833
Pesos! Yen! Rubles!
You make one little mistake..

614
00:40:39,036 --> 00:40:41,004
You lost 13 million dollars.

615
00:40:41,205 --> 00:40:43,173
So now this is all about money?

616
00:40:44,208 --> 00:40:46,438
You know, it's bad enough that...

617
00:40:47,011 --> 00:40:49,036
You have got to be kidding.

618
00:40:49,814 --> 00:40:52,977
-Are you all right?
-I'm having another heart attack.

619
00:40:53,217 --> 00:40:55,685
I'm having another heart attack!

620
00:40:55,886 --> 00:40:57,717
Call 911!

621
00:40:58,456 --> 00:40:59,445
Dumb-ass!

622
00:41:02,526 --> 00:41:04,084
Phoebe, how's it going?

623
00:41:04,295 --> 00:41:06,695
They fired me, and I'm having
a heart attack.

624
00:41:06,897 --> 00:41:08,524
Well, welcome back.

625
00:41:14,572 --> 00:41:15,698
Is Joey Tribbiani here?

626
00:41:17,541 --> 00:41:21,136
If you see him, please tell him
I'm looking for him...

627
00:41:21,345 --> 00:41:24,644
and that this time
I am not gonna throw up!

628
00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:29,252
Well, that's always good news.

629
00:41:29,987 --> 00:41:30,976
Are you okay?

630
00:41:31,188 --> 00:41:32,678
Me? I'm great!

631
00:41:32,890 --> 00:41:35,620
I'm fine! I'm so good!

632
00:41:36,527 --> 00:41:38,392
But you know who's not great?

633
00:41:38,562 --> 00:41:39,756
Men!

634
00:41:40,030 --> 00:41:41,429
You're a man, right, Ross?

635
00:41:41,632 --> 00:41:42,963
Sit down.

636
00:41:44,201 --> 00:41:46,533
Let me ask you something.

637
00:41:47,037 --> 00:41:50,973
Do wedding vows mean squat
to you people?

638
00:41:52,710 --> 00:41:55,679
Why is it that the second
we tell you we are going out of town...

639
00:41:55,846 --> 00:41:59,304
bam, there you are in bed
with the neighbor's dog-walker?

640
00:42:02,953 --> 00:42:04,614
We're sorry.

641
00:42:05,589 --> 00:42:10,549
No, seriously. Seriously. What has
happened to the sanctity of marriage?

642
00:42:11,762 --> 00:42:15,664
-Didn't you spend last night at Joey's?
-What are you, a detective?

643
00:42:18,168 --> 00:42:20,864
I don't know what's going on
with you and your husband...

644
00:42:21,071 --> 00:42:24,097
and what is hopefully
an adult dog-walker.

645
00:42:25,976 --> 00:42:29,343
Look, can I just say,
not all men are like that.

646
00:42:29,613 --> 00:42:32,946
There are men who'll do anything
to make their marriage work.

647
00:42:33,150 --> 00:42:35,744
Men who will stand by and watch...

648
00:42:35,986 --> 00:42:40,514
as their wives engage in what can
only be described as a "twosome"...

649
00:42:40,791 --> 00:42:44,158
with some woman she barely knows
from the gym!

650
00:42:45,496 --> 00:42:47,361
Who are these men?

651
00:42:47,698 --> 00:42:49,928
Just men. A guy I know.

652
00:42:50,334 --> 00:42:53,997
Well, you might want to tell him
it sounds like his wife...

653
00:42:54,305 --> 00:42:55,772
is gay.

654
00:42:55,940 --> 00:42:57,805
She is not...

655
00:43:02,947 --> 00:43:04,812
She's gay.

656
00:43:07,685 --> 00:43:09,152
Oh, my God.

657
00:43:10,955 --> 00:43:13,185
She is so gay!

658
00:43:16,994 --> 00:43:19,053
I can't believe this.

659
00:43:19,730 --> 00:43:22,324
Good day for married people, huh?

660
00:43:24,868 --> 00:43:26,961
I'm sorry your husband cheated on you.

661
00:43:27,304 --> 00:43:29,704
I'm sorry your wife is gay.

662
00:43:31,742 --> 00:43:33,869
I guess women aren't that great either.

663
00:43:34,144 --> 00:43:35,839
Try telling my wife that.

664
00:43:41,885 --> 00:43:42,874
Okay to come in?

665
00:43:43,087 --> 00:43:45,282
Come in, eat, whatever you want.

666
00:43:45,489 --> 00:43:47,480
Dr. Roger got beeped again.

667
00:43:47,691 --> 00:43:50,251
Yeah, I know. Guess who beeped him.

668
00:43:53,063 --> 00:43:54,894
I'm the ruptured spleen.

669
00:43:57,201 --> 00:43:58,395
Why would you do that?

670
00:43:58,602 --> 00:44:00,763
Because you shouldn't be with him.

671
00:44:04,408 --> 00:44:05,898
You should be with me.

672
00:44:08,245 --> 00:44:09,234
Really?

673
00:44:09,446 --> 00:44:13,041
When you were talking about Roger,
that was killing me.

674
00:44:13,250 --> 00:44:15,741
Things like last night,
they don't just happen.

675
00:44:16,020 --> 00:44:19,956
At least not to me. I mean,
with the other two women...

676
00:44:22,259 --> 00:44:26,025
in the morning, I couldn't wait
to go hang out with my friends.

677
00:44:26,230 --> 00:44:27,925
But with you...

678
00:44:30,768 --> 00:44:33,464
I was, you know,
already with a friend.

679
00:44:35,439 --> 00:44:38,067
You probably don't want
to go out with me.

680
00:44:38,275 --> 00:44:42,075
I make too many jokes, I've never
been in a serious relationship...

681
00:44:42,279 --> 00:44:44,645
and I'm not technically a "doctor."

682
00:44:52,956 --> 00:44:55,151
There was just one woman,
wasn't there?

683
00:44:56,060 --> 00:44:57,550
No, there were two.

684
00:44:57,795 --> 00:44:59,262
-Including me?
-Oh, yeah.

685
00:45:04,902 --> 00:45:09,839
It only takes two heart attacks
To finally make you see

686
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:14,170
One of them won't do it
But the second will set you free

687
00:45:17,548 --> 00:45:22,349
Tell all your hate and anger
It's time to say goodbye

688
00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:24,783
And that is just what I will do

689
00:45:25,055 --> 00:45:27,922
Soon as those bastards I worked for
Die