1
00:00:04,637 --> 00:00:06,127
Oh! Hey, Rach.

2
00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:09,967
I was just coming over here to...

3
00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:13,537
Wait, I don't have to lie to you,
you don't live here anymore.

4
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,442
I'm eating their food.
You?

5
00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:21,479
Ross is on a date with my sister.
They shut the drapes two hours ago.

6
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:24,383
I didn't know we could
date your sister.

7
00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:30,159
We know you steal our food.

8
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:32,726
I'm good.

9
00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:34,997
Drapes still closed?

10
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:38,796
Yeah. That perverted couple
two doors over should've shut theirs.

11
00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:41,496
-Is that a swing?
-Oh, don't even ask.

12
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:47,812
I can't believe Ross
is with her sister.

13
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:50,914
When Chandler kissed my sister,
I was mad for 10 years.

14
00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:54,917
-That was five years ago.
-You got five years left.

15
00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:57,088
-Joey..
-Want to make it six?

16
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,591
The One Where Chandler Can't Cry

17
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:41,495
Oh, Ross, hey. Hi, how are you?
There you are.

18
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,403
Can I get a cup of coffee?

19
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,567
So how was your big date last night?

20
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,271
It was okay. It was fun.

21
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:54,844
It was fun?
Great.

22
00:01:56,883 --> 00:02:00,114
So did you guys hit it off?

23
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,851
I guess so.

24
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:08,291
So did anything happen?
Rumor has it you guys shut the drapes.

25
00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:11,291
No. No. Nothing happened.

26
00:02:11,564 --> 00:02:15,056
I shut the drapes to show her
slides of my favorite fossils.

27
00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,535
Oh, slides!

28
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,408
So really nothing happened.

29
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,905
Something could've happened.

30
00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:28,205
She really dug my slides.

31
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:32,214
And she was definitely
giving me the vibe.

32
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:37,055
Was it the "Please don't show me
another picture of a trilobite" vibe?

33
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,450
I'm telling you,
she was in to me, okay?

34
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:44,961
Hey, you remembered trilobite.

35
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,125
Anyway...

36
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,469
If she wasn't into me,
why would she ask me out again?

37
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:53,002
-She asked you out again?
-Yeah.

38
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:59,610
Tomorrow night. Valentine's Day.
The most romantic day of the year.

39
00:02:59,812 --> 00:03:01,507
Who knows what could happen.

40
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:05,342
I might not be shutting my drapes
to show her my slides.

41
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:07,142
Okay! I got it, I got it.

42
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:10,184
I can't go with the "you
and my sister" thing.

43
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:12,482
It's just too weird, all right?

44
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:14,954
I imagine the two of you together.

45
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,686
It just freaks me out.
I can't do it!

46
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,134
It's okay.

47
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,429
It's too weird for you.
I won't see her again.

48
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:27,630
Thank you.

49
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,273
After tomorrow night.

50
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,477
No! I can't do it.
It's gonna freak me out!

51
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,202
Okay, okay, okay!

52
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:39,876
Okay. I'll tell her tonight
I can't see her anymore.

53
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:41,710
Ross, thanks.

54
00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:44,688
Want me to call her now?

55
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:47,791
Oh, no. No, no, no.

56
00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:51,023
No. Come on, I mean, that's crazy.

57
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,859
So, what's going on with you?

58
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:57,560
Well...

59
00:03:57,837 --> 00:04:00,499
I may teach another class
this semester.

60
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,401
Do it now. Call her now.

61
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:10,813
-This is my favorite part.
-Me too.

62
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:18,089
I don't know what you guys
are so sad about. It all works out.

63
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:24,060
E.T. stays with Elliott, and they get to
be best friends forever.

64
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:27,028
You've seen this movie before,
E.T. goes back home.

65
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,168
What?

66
00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:35,035
Oh, no, I forgot.

67
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:39,470
You know what's sadder
than this? Bambi.

68
00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:43,242
I cried for three days
with that movie. No, two.

69
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:47,680
The third day my mom killed herself,
so I was partly crying for that.

70
00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:53,686
Well, that I can see crying
over, but Bambi is a cartoon.

71
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:55,655
You didn't cry
when Bambi's mother died?

72
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:59,491
Yes, it was very sad when the guy
stopped drawing the deer.

73
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:06,767
If this movie's making you guys cry
so much, let's just change the channel.

74
00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:07,997
There.

75
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:14,441
Joey, you're crying
over a Doritos commercial.

76
00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:17,640
I was up for that part.

77
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:22,918
It's okay to cry. You don't
have to be macho all the time.

78
00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:24,783
I'm not macho.

79
00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:26,819
Yeah, you're right.

80
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,557
I don't know what I was thinking.

81
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:33,829
I just never really cried.
I'm not a crying kind of guy.

82
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:39,060
Come on, there's gotta be something
that gets you choked up. Like...

83
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,603
What if you saw a three-legged puppy?

84
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,406
I'd be sad, sure.

85
00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:47,169
But I wouldn't cry.

86
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:51,247
What if the puppy said,
"Help me, Chandler.

87
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:55,854
All the other puppies pick on me."

88
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:59,822
Cry? I just found a talking puppy.
I'm rich!

89
00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:04,353
I've got it. I have got it.

90
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:06,428
Pictures from your childhood.

91
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,894
This'll get you going good.

92
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,866
Oh, what's going on there?

93
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,005
Parents' Day. First grade.

94
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:17,868
That's me with the janitor, Martin.

95
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:21,006
-Where are your parents?
-They didn't want to come.

96
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,281
-Chandler!
-Poor thing.

97
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:25,574
That story doesn't make you cry?

98
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:28,948
No. Look, I don't cry.
It's not a big deal, okay?

99
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,452
No! It's not okay!

100
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,453
It's not okay at all!

101
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:36,089
You're dead inside!

102
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,300
-Excuse me?
-Yeah?

103
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,798
-Are you Phoebe Buffay?
-Yeah.

104
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:48,399
Can I get your autograph?
I'm your biggest fan.

105
00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:51,371
My biggest fan?
I've always wanted to meet you.

106
00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:53,768
Sure. Yeah.

107
00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:55,946
Wow. Wow, thanks a lot.

108
00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:59,241
I just want to say,
I think you're really talented.

109
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:02,216
You're just saying that
because you're my biggest fan.

110
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,621
Take good care of that guy.
He's a fan.

111
00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:10,426
Bye.

112
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,833
So you saw me
on Days of Our Lives, huh?

113
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:19,996
You want me to do a little
Dr. Drake Ramoray for you?

114
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:26,334
I have no idea
what you're talking about.

115
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:29,012
But I just got Phoebe Buffay's
autograph.

116
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,079
Oh. You're Phoebe's fan.

117
00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:34,411
Oh, yeah. I've seen all her movies.

118
00:07:35,988 --> 00:07:40,322
-Movies?
-That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.

119
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,027
I don't think so.

120
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:51,293
No, it was. She was in
Sex Toy Story Two...

121
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:53,839
Lawrence of a Labia.

122
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,333
And I got her autograph.

123
00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:00,475
The guys at the comic book store
won't believe this.

124
00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:05,140
Gunther?

125
00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:09,287
Don't let that guy in here anymore.
He said Phoebe's a porn star.

126
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:13,823
Well, I wouldn't call her a star,
but she's really good.

127
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,054
You should check out
Inspect Her Gadget.

128
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,700
-Hey.
-Hey.

129
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:28,168
Ross just totally blew me off,
and he didn't even tell me why.

130
00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,201
Oh, well.

131
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:34,874
The best thing to do to get over a guy
is to start dating someone else.

132
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:39,447
Oh! There is this great guy you
will just love at work, named Bob.

133
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:42,678
He's a real up-and-comer
in Human Resources.

134
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:47,916
Maybe I talk too much, or maybe I
should have been more aggressive sexually.

135
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:50,085
No, no, no.

136
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,823
No, that would never
have worked on Ross.

137
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:56,594
But you know who that might work on?
Bob in Human Resources.

138
00:08:57,503 --> 00:09:01,269
Thanks, but I'm not gonna date
some random guy from your work.

139
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,907
Not random. Bob.

140
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:08,841
It's probably because I'm not
mature enough or smart enough...

141
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:11,309
Maybe he doesn't
like the way I dress.

142
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:15,009
No, that can't be it.
It's gotta be the smart thing.

143
00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:20,521
I'm so stupid. I'm just this, like,
incredibly pretty, stupid girl.

144
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:22,789
No, honey.

145
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,119
Okay.

146
00:09:25,364 --> 00:09:28,822
Okay. You want to know why Ross
canceled the date?

147
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:30,932
Because I asked him to.

148
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,435
You asked him to?

149
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,335
-Why?
-Because you are my sister...

150
00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:39,136
and Ross and I have
this huge history.

151
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:42,108
-You want to go out with Ross?
-No.

152
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:44,474
You don't want him,
but you don't want me to have him?

153
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:48,281
You know, Bob in Human Resources...

154
00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:52,817
I can't believe you did this!
You had me doubting how smart I was!

155
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:55,493
You had me doubting my fashion sense!

156
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:59,629
It's not that big a deal. Just
don't date Ross. There's other..

157
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,390
You have no right
to tell me what to do.

158
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:06,399
I'm not telling you what to do.
I am telling you what not to do!

159
00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:09,303
Why are you so jealous of me?

160
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,567
This is not about me being jealous.

161
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:14,870
It's about you being a brat,
wanting what you can't have.

162
00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:16,412
Can't have?

163
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:19,810
Excuse me. The only thing
I can't have is dairy!

164
00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:25,188
Well, you just blew your chances
at dating Bob!

165
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,359
-Who?
-With Human Resources!

166
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:33,521
Jealous of her? Who does she think
she is, Princess Caroline?

167
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:38,893
-You're jealous of Princess Caroline?
-Do I have my own castle?

168
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:41,866
Hey.

169
00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:43,769
-Phoebe's not here, is she?
-No.

170
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:45,101
Did you get a movie?

171
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:54,112
Yeah. Yeah.

172
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,787
But I don't think it's the kind
you're gonna like.

173
00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:03,385
Not more movies that'll have us
reaching for the tissues all night?

174
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,595
Sort of.

175
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:13,364
What's going on?

176
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,899
Phoebe's a porn star!

177
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:19,438
-What?
-Yeah!

178
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:21,636
What are you talking about?

179
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:26,942
"Phoebe Buffay in
Buffay The Vampire Layer."

180
00:11:28,954 --> 00:11:31,320
That's Phoebe.
Where did you get that?

181
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:33,990
At the adult video place on Bleecker.

182
00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:38,890
And I saw Joey was about to go in,
so I ran in ahead of him...

183
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:42,498
to surprise him.

184
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:46,898
Then I pretended that I didn't
know he was in there.

185
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:53,177
Wow. I mean,
I just can't believe this.

186
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:55,676
I mean, you think you know someone.

187
00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:59,246
Even Phoebe, who's always been
somewhat of a question mark.

188
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:02,579
This is so bizarre.

189
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:06,280
I guess it makes sense.
She had such a terrible childhood.

190
00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:08,789
I had a bad childhood
and I don't do porn.

191
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:12,025
Yes, but you're dead inside.

192
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,797
I'd better take that back.

193
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:16,126
What, why? Why?

194
00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:18,432
We can't watch it.
It's Phoebe.

195
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:21,038
We shouldn't watch this.

196
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:23,605
Absolutely not. That goes back.

197
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,342
-Maybe a bit.
-The first half?

198
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:30,710
This is wrong, you guys!
Phoebe's our friend!

199
00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:33,213
-I'm not gonna watch it.
-Yeah!

200
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:35,109
Good for you, Joe.

201
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:52,327
I thought I'd find you here,
Nosferatool.

202
00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:57,806
Are you going to plunge
your stake into my dark places?

203
00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:02,811
Actually, I was kind of hoping it
would be the other way around.

204
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:07,008
What's that on her ankle?

205
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:09,483
Her ankle is what you're watching?

206
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:13,014
Well, it's hard to tell.

207
00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:16,256
God, if she would just stop moving.

208
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,924
She's just doing her job.

209
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:21,389
You sick bastards!

210
00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:24,191
It's a tattoo.

211
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:26,597
That's weird. Phoebe doesn't..

212
00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:30,907
Wait, that's Ursula!
That's not Phoebe! That is Ursula!

213
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:34,774
Wait, wait! I can watch that!
Rewind it! Rewind it!

214
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,846
Hey.

215
00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:40,745
What's up? Oh, my God!
What am I doing?!

216
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,590
Hey, sweetie.

217
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:02,234
"Chicken Soup for the Soul"?

218
00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:05,502
There's no back to this couch.

219
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,378
You hate this kind of stuff.

220
00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,515
I figured I'd give it a shot.

221
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:16,346
One of the stories may make me cry,
then you won't think I'm dead inside.

222
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,217
Oh, that's so sweet.

223
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:21,722
I don't care if you can't cry.
I love you.

224
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:26,020
Oh, that makes me feel so warm
in my hollow tin chest.

225
00:14:26,765 --> 00:14:28,460
Stop it.

226
00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:33,068
Seriously. We get married, I'm up
at the altar and I'm like this:

227
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:36,401
I won't care.

228
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,735
I know that you'll be feeling it
all in here.

229
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:41,877
-Yeah?
-Yeah.

230
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:44,139
And if we have a baby one day...

231
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:47,385
and the doctor hands it to you
in the delivery room...

232
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,111
and you don't cry, so what?

233
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,952
If we take him to college
and come home...

234
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:57,491
and we see his empty room
for the first time...

235
00:14:57,763 --> 00:14:59,754
and you got nothing?

236
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,897
It won't matter to me.

237
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,437
Okay.

238
00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:09,668
I won't worry
about this anymore then.

239
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:12,102
And then, you know, if I die...

240
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,347
from a long illness...

241
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,516
and you're writing my eulogy...

242
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:22,278
and you open the desk drawer
and find a note from me that says:

243
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:25,457
"I will always be with you"...

244
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:30,192
and you still can't shed
one tiny tear?

245
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,424
I know you'll be
crying a river inside.

246
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,129
-I love you.
-What is wrong with you?!

247
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,260
-What?
-What?

248
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:43,539
You can't shed a tear
for your dead wife?

249
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,607
I left you a note from the beyond!

250
00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:48,813
-So you didn't mean any of that?
-No, you robot!

251
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:59,147
You damn kids! You ring my bell
one more time and I swear..

252
00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:01,484
Oh, Jill!

253
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:05,493
That's a game I play
with the kids down the hall.

254
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:09,464
They've really taken a liking to me.

255
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:12,831
What's the matter?

256
00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:16,230
Rachel and I had a big fight.
Can I come in?

257
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:19,705
I know we're not supposed
to see each other anymore.

258
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:23,507
I don't know anybody in this city
and I need somebody to talk to.

259
00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:25,182
Sure. What happened?

260
00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:27,318
I don't want to talk about it.

261
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:31,913
Okay.

262
00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:36,353
-You know what might cheer me up?
-What?

263
00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:39,496
Seeing some more of your
super cool slides.

264
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,224
-Wow, really?
-Totally. I loved them.

265
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:47,097
You could finish telling me about
the different kinds of sand.

266
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:53,772
I'd love to. Wait right here, I'll go
get the projector and my notes.

267
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:56,377
Thanks. You're such a good friend.

268
00:17:02,888 --> 00:17:05,618
Have you guys seen Jill?
I can't find her.

269
00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:07,222
-No.
-Is Ross home?

270
00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:10,394
Maybe I'll call him and see
if he's seen her..

271
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:20,395
Who is it?

272
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,369
It's Phoebe...

273
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,834
"Phoebe"!

274
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:28,078
-Hey!
-Oh, God!

275
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:32,413
So you're making porn movies.

276
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,284
No, I'm not.

277
00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:36,545
We're still rolling!

278
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,551
You're making one right now!

279
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:40,618
Let's go, Phoebe.

280
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,622
And you're using my name.

281
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,756
Can I help you with something?

282
00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:47,357
Phoebe, come on!

283
00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:51,401
Look, I'm talking right now.
You mean her. Oh.

284
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,931
You know, twin stuff is always
a real big seller.

285
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:56,402
What?

286
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,975
I could talk them into giving you...

287
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:01,439
thirty dollars.

288
00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:05,775
No! No way! No!

289
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:09,078
And stop using my name!
And shame on you!

290
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:12,085
And shame on all of you!
You're disgusting!

291
00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:14,291
Especially you, with that!

292
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,360
The slides are almost ready.

293
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,089
Yeah.

294
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,529
I know what this is missing:

295
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:26,327
Alcohol.

296
00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:29,769
There's wine in the kitchen.

297
00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:31,202
Oh, great.

298
00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:40,780
What is my sister doing there,
and why are the drapes shut?

299
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:45,187
Okay. Rach, calm down, okay?

300
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:48,221
She's really upset.
We're just talking.

301
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:51,861
She's making something happen
with you to get back at me.

302
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,032
That's the only reason
she could be here, huh?

303
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:58,497
It couldn't be that maybe
I'm a good listener...

304
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:01,969
and I put on a great slide show?

305
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:09,641
Ross, I am telling you,
she is using you to get back at me.

306
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:14,581
I think I can take care of myself.
I'll talk to you later. Goodbye.

307
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:22,486
That was your sister, actually.

308
00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:24,889
She thinks you're just using me.

309
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,461
So?

310
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:34,930
-Hey.
-Hey.

311
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:38,041
I just came from the company
Ursula works for.

312
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:41,039
Oh, no, not you too?

313
00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:45,342
I went to get Phoebe Buffay's checks.
There were a lot of them.

314
00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:48,182
Nice!

315
00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:50,853
And I won't have to
go back there anymore...

316
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:54,286
because I gave them
my "correct address."

317
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,896
Isn't it gonna bother you
that people think you're a porn star?

318
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:02,498
Oh, no, I know how to handle it.

319
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:04,133
-Good.
-Yeah.

320
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:08,299
Trying to figure out how you know me?

321
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:11,237
I'll give you a hint. From porn!

322
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:16,309
Yeah, your pervert boyfriend
watched me in a porno movie!

323
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:21,718
-See?
-Yeah.

324
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:26,684
Hey.

325
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,353
You may have been right about Jill.

326
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:31,495
I knew it! What happened?

327
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:33,657
She kissed me.

328
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,924
What? You kissed?

329
00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:38,566
Maybe we should
give them some privacy...

330
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,840
Look, I tried not to kiss her, okay?

331
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:47,341
Doesn't sound like it.
It's easy not to kiss someone.

332
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:50,844
You just don't. Look at us
right now, not kissing!

333
00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:55,450
Let me finish, okay?
She started kissing me...

334
00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:57,587
and I didn't stop it.

335
00:20:57,856 --> 00:20:59,551
I guess I just wasn't thinking.

336
00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:02,783
Yeah. Let me give you
something to think about.

337
00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:08,192
Hold on! But then I started
thinking and I stopped the kissing.

338
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:13,470
Thank you for taking your tongue out
of my sister's mouth to tell me that.

339
00:21:16,742 --> 00:21:19,711
I realized if anything happened
with me and Jill...

340
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:23,244
then nothing could ever
happen with us.

341
00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:26,383
-What?
-No, I mean...

342
00:21:26,585 --> 00:21:30,214
I don't know if anything
is ever going to happen with us...

343
00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:32,616
again, ever.

344
00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:36,887
But I don't want to know
that it never could.

345
00:21:37,262 --> 00:21:38,991
So I stopped it...

346
00:21:40,399 --> 00:21:43,232
and she got mad
and broke my projector.

347
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,503
Wow.

348
00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:56,072
I don't even know what to say.

349
00:22:00,752 --> 00:22:02,413
Thank you.

350
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,984
You're welcome.

351
00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:14,462
My God, are you crying?

352
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:18,136
I just don't see why those two
can't work things out!

353
00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:24,875
All right, I'm leaving.

354
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:28,704
I'm not spending one more day with
someone who's out to sabotage me.

355
00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:30,106
That's you, Rachel.

356
00:22:31,249 --> 00:22:32,307
Yeah, I got that.

357
00:22:33,118 --> 00:22:35,245
And you! I throw myself at you...

358
00:22:35,454 --> 00:22:38,116
and you say no? How gay are you?

359
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:44,996
You take care, Jill.

360
00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:49,793
Okay, I'm leaving. Don't worry
about me, I'll make it on my own.

361
00:22:49,968 --> 00:22:52,630
Who knows how I'll get by,
or even if I'll survive.

362
00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:56,035
You can stop that now,
I know you made up with Daddy.

363
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:59,507
-You do? How?
-Oh, just a wild guess...

364
00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:02,238
and your limo just pulled up.

365
00:23:02,414 --> 00:23:06,214
-Sorry I didn't get to know you guys better.
-Absolute shame.

366
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,853
-Okay, see you.
-Bye-bye.

367
00:23:10,455 --> 00:23:12,650
I can't believe Jill's gone.

368
00:23:15,494 --> 00:23:17,985
I can't help it, I opened a gate!