1
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:10,802
Monica, that was the best
Thanksgiving dinner ever.

2
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,571
It was so good.
I think you killed us.

3
00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:17,646
I couldn't possibly eat another bite.

4
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,043
I need something sweet.

5
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,079
Does anyone want to watch TV?

6
00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:29,152
Monica, your remote doesn't work.

7
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:31,921
You have to lift it and point.

8
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,501
Oh, forget it.

9
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:43,035
Let's play that game where everyone
says one thing they're thankful for.

10
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:48,010
I am thankful for this
beautiful fall we've been having.

11
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:49,772
Very nice.

12
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,218
The other day,
I was at the bus stop...

13
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:56,947
...and this lovely fall breeze came
and blew this chick's skirt up.

14
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:02,794
Which reminds me,
I'm also thankful for thongs.

15
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:06,627
The One with the Thanksgiving Flashbacks

16
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:55,709
It's not so much an underpant
as a feat of engineering.

17
00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,374
It's amazing...

18
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:01,816
...how much they can do
with so little material.

19
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:06,219
And they play with your mind.
Is it there? Is it not there?

20
00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:09,889
Are you aware that
you're still talking?

21
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:14,526
Is anyone thankful for anything else
besides a thong?

22
00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:19,265
I don't know. Am I more thankful
for my divorce or my eviction?

23
00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:22,769
And I didn't think you'd be able
to come up with anything.

24
00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:28,170
I'm sorry. This is
the worst Thanksgiving ever.

25
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:30,575
I am the king of bad Thanksgivings.

26
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:34,911
You can't swoop in with your bad
marriage and take that away from me.

27
00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:39,118
You're not going to tell about your
parents' divorce again, are you?

28
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:43,062
Come on! I want to hear it.

29
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:48,459
It wouldn't be Thanksgiving
without Chandler bumming us out.

30
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,536
It's a tradition, like the parade.

31
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:56,231
If the parade decided it was gay
and abandoned its family.

32
00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:00,576
Now, Chandler, dear...

33
00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:02,974
...just because
we're getting a divorce...

34
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:04,945
...doesn't mean we don't love you.

35
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:06,642
It just means...

36
00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:10,378
...he would rather sleep
with the houseboy than with me.

37
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:15,386
More turkey, Mr. Chandler?

38
00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:23,334
Every time you tell that story,
that guy's accent gets thicker and thicker.

39
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,297
So are he and your dad still together?

40
00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:31,569
No. After they got their own place,
the houseboy got his own houseboy.

41
00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:34,109
Should have heard his accent.

42
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:38,607
You're right, yours is worse.
You're the king of bad Thanksgivings.

43
00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:41,015
I've got one that's worse.

44
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,554
Really? Worse than,
"More turkey, Mr. Chandler?"

45
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:49,193
Did the little rich boy
have a problem with the butler?

46
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,226
Yes, mine's worse!

47
00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:58,233
More bandages!

48
00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:00,405
More bandages!

49
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,302
Please, can I get
some more bandages in here?

50
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,407
This man is

51
00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,714
In this life, Phoebe.

52
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,155
Oh, this life. Oh, okay.

53
00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:20,654
No, Chandler's is worse.

54
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:25,053
It must be cool
remembering stuff like that.

55
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,733
I don't have any past-life memories.

56
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:31,462
Of course, you don't, sweetie.
You're brand-new.

57
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,631
I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving.

58
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,406
Let's not tell this story.

59
00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:40,002
I know!

60
00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:44,080
It's the one where Joey got
Monica's turkey stuck on his head.

61
00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:49,185
Joey got a turkey stuck on his head?

62
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:50,786
It's not like it sounds.

63
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,083
It's exactly like it sounds.

64
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,140
What's going on?

65
00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:16,542
Oh, my God!

66
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,010
I know!

67
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,042
It's stuck!

68
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:22,610
Step.

69
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:24,379
How did it get on?

70
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:27,115
I put it on to scare Chandler.

71
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,996
Oh, my God! Monica's going to
totally freak out!

72
00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:32,630
Help me get it off!

73
00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:35,629
Plus, it smells really bad in here.

74
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:41,167
Of course it smells bad.
You have your head up a dead animal's ass.

75
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,182
Did you get the turkey?

76
00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:54,978
Oh, my God!

77
00:05:55,221 --> 00:05:56,210
Who is that?

78
00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:58,652
It's Joey.

79
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,990
Is this supposed to be funny?

80
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,289
It's not supposed to be funny.
It's supposed to be scary.

81
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:07,791
Get that off now!

82
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,002
I can't. It's stuck!

83
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:14,833
It has to feed 20 people. They're
not going to eat it off your head!

84
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,364
Hold on.

85
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:18,669
Let's just all think.

86
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:25,308
I got it!

87
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:27,475
You pull.

88
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:30,747
I'll spread the legs
as wide as I can.

89
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,717
Now is not the time.

90
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,660
Count to three. One...

91
00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:39,855
...two...

92
00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:41,158
...three!

93
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:47,672
It worked!
I scared you! I knew it!

94
00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:51,267
I'm here, big guy.

95
00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:53,034
Yeah, you are!

96
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,380
I scared you!

97
00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:01,249
You did look like an idiot.

98
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,016
I wasn't the only one
who looked like an idiot.

99
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:08,591
Remember when Ross tried to say
"butternut squash"...

100
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:11,958
...and it came out,
"squatternut bosh"?

101
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,197
Yeah, that's the same.

102
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:21,200
That's it.
That's my worst Thanksgiving.

103
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:23,466
That can't be the one Rachel meant.

104
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:25,768
She didn't even know that happened.

105
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,541
So, what's yours?

106
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,815
I really don't want
to tell this story.

107
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:35,783
Reliving pain and getting depressed
is what Thanksgiving's all about.

108
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:38,584
For me, anyway.

109
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,624
And, of course, the lndians.

110
00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:44,761
Of all people, you do not want me
to tell this story.

111
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,727
What is that supposed to mean?

112
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:51,434
-Monica, I think Rachel's here!
-I'll get it!

113
00:07:58,578 --> 00:07:59,636
Happy Thanksgiving!

114
00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:01,404
Not for me.

115
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:03,945
Chip and I broke up.

116
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:05,508
Why?

117
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:07,013
What happened?

118
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:10,450
My parents are out of town,
and Chip was going to come over.

119
00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:13,116
And you were going to give him...

120
00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:14,621
...your "flower."

121
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,693
Monica, can you just call it sex?

122
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:21,023
It really creeps me out
when you call it that.

123
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,427
And by the way...

124
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:26,536
...while we're at it, a guy's thing
is not called his "tenderness."

125
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:31,270
Believe me.

126
00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:36,809
Happy Thanksgiving.

127
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,346
Everyone...

128
00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:47,617
...this is Chandler.

129
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:48,851
My roommate...

130
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:51,723
...and lead singer of our band.

131
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,998
This is Monica.

132
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,466
I'm Ross' little sister.

133
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:05,910
I'm so glad you could come.

134
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,476
We've got plenty of food,
so I hope you're hungry.

135
00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:13,482
Chandler hates Thanksgiving
and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.

136
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,521
I'm so glad you brought him here.

137
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:22,158
I can make you some
macaroni and cheese for dinner.

138
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,260
As long as the Pilgrims
didn't eat it.

139
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:29,863
Damn it!

140
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,106
Does it feel weird around here now?

141
00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:46,546
You know, since
I've been away at college?

142
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:48,847
Not really.

143
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,548
That's cool.

144
00:09:56,929 --> 00:10:00,626
So that's Rachel, the girl you've been
writing all those songs about?

145
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:05,794
Might want to rethink the lyrics to
"She Feels Weird Since I've Been Gone."

146
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:14,211
I cannot believe Chip dumped me
for that slut Nancy Branson!

147
00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:18,679
I am never going out with him again.
I don't care how much he begs.

148
00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:21,910
His begging days are over, now
that he's with Nancy Branson.

149
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:26,788
I've just had it
with high-school boys.

150
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,426
They're just silly.

151
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:31,892
They're just silly, stupid boys.

152
00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:33,497
I'll start dating men.

153
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:36,991
I'm sorry, Judy.

154
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:40,832
I couldn't find that bowl
you and Jack were looking for.

155
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:45,708
Call them Mom and Dad, you loser.

156
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:01,284
Did you like
the macaroni and cheese?

157
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,518
It was great.
You should be a chef.

158
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:10,962
Guess what.

159
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:14,400
All this stuff about Nancy
being a slut was all a rumor.

160
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:17,940
Chip dumped her, and he wants
to come over to my house!

161
00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:20,374
-That is so great!
-I know.

162
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:24,140
Oh, gosh. Listen,
if you and Chip do it tonight...

163
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:26,442
...promise me
you'll tell me everything.

164
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:30,486
Totally. It's not that big a deal.
We already kind of did it once.

165
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:33,988
But now you'll definitely know
whether or not you did it.

166
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,386
I know.

167
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:40,628
And Chip promised that this time
it'd last at least for an entire song.

168
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:45,428
I'm thinking of asking
Rachel out tonight...

169
00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:48,299
...maybe playing her that song
we wrote last week.

170
00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:50,838
"Emotional Knapsack"?
Right on!

171
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:56,774
But don't take long.
We're testing our fake lD's tonight.

172
00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:58,847
Right, Clifford Alvarez?

173
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,951
Listen, Roland Cheng...

174
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:07,416
...if things go well,
I may be out with her all night.

175
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,823
Dude, don't do that to me.

176
00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:12,497
It's cool, you can stay here.
My parents won't mind.

177
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:16,657
It's not that. I just don't want
to be stuck here with your fat sister.

178
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,698
Why don't you finish off these pies?

179
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:25,205
I don't have any more room
in the fridge.

180
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:30,137
No, thank you.

181
00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:32,778
Judy, you did it.

182
00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:34,952
She's finally full!

183
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,958
I called you fat?

184
00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:42,389
-I don't even remember that.
-Maybe it'd jog your memory...

185
00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:45,894
...if you guys played
a little bit of "Emotional Knapsack."

186
00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:49,196
I'm so sorry. I really am.

187
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,766
I was an idiot back then.

188
00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:53,834
I rushed the stage at a Wham concert,
for crying out loud!

189
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,004
I can't believe you called her fat.

190
00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:01,179
I can't believe you let
George Michael slap you.

191
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,173
I am really sorry.

192
00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:07,283
That is terrible. I'm so sorry.

193
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:10,583
That's not the Thanksgiving
I was talking about.

194
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:11,745
Yes, it was.

195
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,448
No, it was actually

196
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:16,889
Thanksgiving's over.
Let's get ready for Christmas.

197
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,463
I have the cutest Christmas story.

198
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,531
We want to hear Monica's story.

199
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:27,865
Mine had a dwarf that got broke in half,
but, you know, whatever.

200
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:32,777
You changed your major again?

201
00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:34,268
I had to.

202
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,643
There was never any parking
by the psychology building.

203
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,985
Love your new nose!

204
00:13:43,722 --> 00:13:45,815
Dr. Wolfson's an artist.

205
00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:47,423
He removed my mole cluster.

206
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:48,954
Want to see?

207
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:52,089
No! Please, let me.

208
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,903
Happy Thanksgiving.

209
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:05,940
Your hair sure is different.

210
00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:07,908
We were just talking about that.

211
00:14:08,113 --> 00:14:10,604
We can't believe
how stupid we used to look.

212
00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:15,642
Where's Monica?

213
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:17,479
She's upstairs.

214
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,419
Come down, everyone's here!

215
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:20,647
Ross, Rachel...

216
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:23,520
...and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.

217
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,491
Oh, my God!

218
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,795
What's the matter?

219
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:35,439
Is there something on my dress?

220
00:14:37,676 --> 00:14:39,109
You look so different.

221
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:40,267
Terrific.

222
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:42,073
That dress, that body....

223
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:43,509
-Dude!
-Sorry.

224
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:47,451
Yes, she's thin. It's wonderful.

225
00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:49,278
But we really want to hear...

226
00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:51,683
...about Ross' new girlfriend.

227
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,788
Her name is Carol.

228
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:57,996
She's really pretty and smart.

229
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:01,290
She's on the lacrosse team
and the golf team.

230
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,024
Can you believe it?

231
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,362
She plays for both teams.

232
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:10,675
So I guess I'll see you at dinner.

233
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:13,634
-Dude!
-Sorry.

234
00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:16,738
Oh, my God!

235
00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:18,643
That was so awesome.

236
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,876
You got him back
for calling you fat.

237
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,849
He was drooling all over you.

238
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:25,649
-That must have felt so great.
-lt didn't.

239
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,719
Yeah, I mean, I look great.

240
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,660
I feel great, and my heart's
not in trouble anymore.

241
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,691
I just don't feel
like I got him back.

242
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,905
I just want to humiliate him.

243
00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:44,336
I want him to be naked, and
I want to point at him and laugh.

244
00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:48,941
That, we may be able to do.

245
00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:51,071
How?

246
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:55,083
Guys tend to get naked
before they're going to have sex.

247
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:56,243
What?

248
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:58,856
I didn't work this hard
and lose weight...

249
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:02,423
...just so I could give my flower
to someone like him.

250
00:16:02,828 --> 00:16:06,559
First of all, if you keep calling it that,
no one will take it.

251
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:10,294
And then second of all,
you're not going to have sex with him.

252
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:12,900
You'll just make him
think that you are.

253
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:19,101
I'll throw him out
in the yard, lock the door...

254
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:22,109
...and all our neighbors
will just humiliate him!

255
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,639
You'll definitely get him back.

256
00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:26,976
How do I make him think
I want to have sex?

257
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,147
Here's what you do.

258
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:33,414
Just act like everything around you
turns you on.

259
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:37,623
What do you mean?

260
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,295
Anything can be sexy.

261
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,994
Like this dish towel.

262
00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:49,969
This feels so good against my cheek.

263
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:53,939
And if I get a little hot,
I can just dab myself with it.

264
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:58,474
Or I can bring it down to my side
and run it through my fingers...

265
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,117
...while I talk to him.

266
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:01,475
I can do that.

267
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,114
Good, good, good.

268
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,016
Get busy. He's coming.

269
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,456
Hey, what's up?

270
00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:14,365
Could you make me some of that
righteous mac and cheese like last year?

271
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:16,156
I'd love to.

272
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,006
I love macaroni and cheese.

273
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:31,513
I love the way this box feels
against my cheek.

274
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:40,891
And I love carrots.

275
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,699
Sometimes I like to put them
between my fingers.

276
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:51,158
Like this.

277
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,997
And hold them down here
while I talk to you.

278
00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:01,639
And, you know, if I get really hot...

279
00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:05,517
...I like to pick up this knife.

280
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:10,884
And I put the cool steel...

281
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:12,384
...against...

282
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,219
...my body.

283
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,388
Are you all right?

284
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:20,821
I'm fine.

285
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:37,738
Twenty-year-old male.

286
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,418
He's got a severed toe
on his right foot.

287
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:45,114
Could you please not
do that feet first?

288
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:48,757
You know where his injury is.
Severed toe, you just said it!

289
00:18:50,395 --> 00:18:52,761
It says the knife went
through your shoe.

290
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,296
They're made of wicker!

291
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:57,599
Did you bring the toe?

292
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,031
I have it right here on ice.

293
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:01,434
Toes on Ice, coming soon
to Madison Square Garden.

294
00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:03,837
Save your strength, man.

295
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:07,041
Don't worry, son.
We'll just reattach it and then....

296
00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:08,835
What is it?

297
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:10,647
You brought a carrot.

298
00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:17,813
This isn't your toe. This is a small,
very cold piece of carrot.

299
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,081
You brought a carrot?

300
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:21,883
Oh, my God!

301
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,320
There's a toe in my kitchen.

302
00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:28,059
I'm sorry! I'll go get it!

303
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,235
All we can do now
is sew up the wound.

304
00:19:30,435 --> 00:19:32,733
Without my toe? I need my toe!

305
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:36,271
I can go really fast!
Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche.

306
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:38,737
I'm not falling for that one.

307
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:43,280
That's why I lost my toe?
Because I called you fat?

308
00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:48,019
I didn't mean to cut it off.
It was an accident.

309
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:51,882
That's why for an entire year
people called me Sir Limps-a-lot?

310
00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:54,582
I'm sorry.

311
00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:57,060
It wasn't your whole toe.

312
00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:59,196
Yeah, well, I miss the tip.

313
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:00,725
It's the best part.

314
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:03,563
It has the nail.

315
00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:10,234
Sir Limps-a-lot.

316
00:20:10,475 --> 00:20:12,306
I came up with that.

317
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,480
You're a dork.

318
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,213
-I can't believe this.
-I said I was sorry.

319
00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:24,581
"Sorry" doesn't bring back the piggy
that cried all the way home.

320
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:28,953
It figures that something like this
would happen today.

321
00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:32,187
I hate this stupid day
and everything about it!

322
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,386
I'll see you later.

323
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:34,621
Wait.

324
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,199
Come here.

325
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:39,234
Is there anything I can do?
Anything?

326
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,874
Just leave me alone for a little while.

327
00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:50,943
I'm a duck.
I go quack-quack.

328
00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:53,208
I'm happy all the time.

329
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:05,589
Nice try.

330
00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:07,424
Wait, wait, wait.

331
00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:11,796
Look, Monica

332
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:17,775
This is not going to work.

333
00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:19,671
I bet this will work.

334
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,109
You're so great.

335
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,755
I love you.

336
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:45,970
Nothing. I said you're so great,
and then I just stopped talking.

337
00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:49,937
You said you loved me.
I can't believe this!

338
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,200
No, I didn't!

339
00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:54,035
Yes, you did!

340
00:21:54,279 --> 00:21:55,439
No, I didn't!

341
00:21:56,348 --> 00:21:57,872
You love me!

342
00:21:58,116 --> 00:21:59,105
No, I don't!

343
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,045
Stop it, stop it, stop it!

344
00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:14,559
Gauze!

345
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:15,889
Gauze!

346
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:18,229
I need to get some gauze in here!

347
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:21,961
Can I please get some more gauze?

348
00:22:32,050 --> 00:22:33,312
This is getting ridiculous.