1
00:00:03,115 --> 00:00:06,380
Wouldn't it be cool if our duck
and our chick had a baby?

2
00:00:06,552 --> 00:00:08,713
We could call it Chuck.

3
00:00:10,055 --> 00:00:11,454
Or Dick.

4
00:00:13,625 --> 00:00:15,422
-Hey.
-Hey.

5
00:00:15,594 --> 00:00:17,755
Listen, l need a favor.

6
00:00:19,131 --> 00:00:21,622
l was in the shower,
and as l was...

7
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:25,395
...cleansing myself, l felt something.

8
00:00:25,704 --> 00:00:28,639
Was it like a sneeze, only better?

9
00:00:29,708 --> 00:00:33,701
No. l mean, like,
a thing on my body.

10
00:00:33,879 --> 00:00:35,744
-Well, what was it?
-Well, l don't know.

11
00:00:35,914 --> 00:00:38,781
lt's kind of in a place that's not....

12
00:00:39,017 --> 00:00:43,044
lt's not visually accessible to me.
And l was hoping maybe you guys...

13
00:00:43,322 --> 00:00:45,119
...could help me out.

14
00:00:47,359 --> 00:00:49,486
Come on, you guys!
lt's no big deal!

15
00:00:53,832 --> 00:00:56,562
Well, what is it?
ls it a mole?

16
00:00:58,270 --> 00:01:00,932
No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole.

17
00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:03,037
ls it--?
What, a pimple?

18
00:01:06,445 --> 00:01:07,969
No, it's...

19
00:01:08,146 --> 00:01:10,171
...fancier than a pimple.

20
00:01:10,782 --> 00:01:12,841
-Ross, just go see a doc--
-Guys, what's--?

21
00:01:18,256 --> 00:01:21,157
Well, it's definite.
Two more weeks of winter.

22
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,055
Yeah, right.

23
00:01:25,931 --> 00:01:27,296
The One With Ross's Thing

24
00:02:12,611 --> 00:02:16,308
And this is the coffeehouse.
This is where l play my music.

25
00:02:16,481 --> 00:02:18,472
-Good deal.
-These are my friends.

26
00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:21,878
People? This is Vince.
Vince, the people.

27
00:02:23,822 --> 00:02:25,255
Vince is a fireman.

28
00:02:26,658 --> 00:02:29,149
Have you ever rescued anyone
from a burning building?

29
00:02:29,327 --> 00:02:31,659
Ninety-eight hot saves.
Highest on the force.

30
00:02:31,963 --> 00:02:35,956
lf Joey and l play with matches,
we could get you up to an even 1 00.

31
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,300
Fire safety is not a joke, son.

32
00:02:42,808 --> 00:02:44,435
You're right. l know.

33
00:02:45,644 --> 00:02:47,612
Look, l gotta go.
l'm on call tonight.

34
00:02:47,779 --> 00:02:50,077
-See you Saturday.
-Okay.

35
00:02:52,217 --> 00:02:53,684
He's cute, Pheebs.

36
00:02:53,852 --> 00:02:55,717
But you just started dating
that teacher.

37
00:02:55,921 --> 00:02:58,947
Oh, Jason?
We're seeing each other tonight.

38
00:02:59,224 --> 00:03:00,885
Well, Pheebs?

39
00:03:01,226 --> 00:03:04,252
Two dates in one day?
That's so unlike you.

40
00:03:04,429 --> 00:03:07,262
l know, l know.
l'm, like, playing the field.

41
00:03:07,499 --> 00:03:11,401
l'm juggling two guys.
l'm sowing my wild oats.

42
00:03:11,837 --> 00:03:15,967
You know, this kind of, like,
oat-sowing, field-playing juggler.

43
00:03:16,675 --> 00:03:18,506
So do they know about each other?

44
00:03:18,944 --> 00:03:21,435
Does a dog's lips move
when he reads?

45
00:03:25,751 --> 00:03:27,651
Okay, no, they don't know.

46
00:03:29,721 --> 00:03:30,983
Hey, guys.

47
00:03:34,259 --> 00:03:36,386
-Well?
-How'd it go at the doctor's?

48
00:03:36,561 --> 00:03:40,395
He said there's definitely
nothing to worry about. lt's benign.

49
00:03:40,699 --> 00:03:42,929
-What is it?
-He couldn't even tell me.

50
00:03:43,101 --> 00:03:48,733
He said it was just
some sort of skin abnormality.

51
00:03:48,907 --> 00:03:53,503
-So it's just skin.
-Well, no. He said it's skinlike.

52
00:03:53,678 --> 00:03:58,012
-Okay. So it's not skin.
-Well, it's in the skin family.

53
00:03:58,216 --> 00:04:01,481
The worst thing is, he said,
being unable to identify it...

54
00:04:01,653 --> 00:04:03,450
...he was reluctant to remove it.

55
00:04:03,622 --> 00:04:05,180
You should go to my guy.

56
00:04:05,357 --> 00:04:08,053
'Cause when l went in there
with my third nipple...

57
00:04:08,994 --> 00:04:11,258
...he just lopped it right off.

58
00:04:11,429 --> 00:04:13,260
So l guess l'm lucky.

59
00:04:13,431 --> 00:04:17,959
l mean, not as lucky as people
who are born with two nipples.

60
00:04:18,203 --> 00:04:22,765
At least they knew what yours was.
You know? Yours had a name.

61
00:04:22,941 --> 00:04:26,069
Maybe they'll name yours after you.

62
00:04:26,244 --> 00:04:28,838
You know?
They'd call it ''The Ross.''

63
00:04:29,014 --> 00:04:32,814
And then people would be, like,
''Oh, he's got a Ross.''

64
00:04:34,352 --> 00:04:36,843
Yeah, that'd be cool.

65
00:04:38,256 --> 00:04:39,917
Pete's breaking up with me.

66
00:04:40,091 --> 00:04:41,649
What?

67
00:04:41,827 --> 00:04:43,556
l just checked my messages.

68
00:04:43,728 --> 00:04:47,129
He said that when he gets back,
''We need to talk.''

69
00:04:47,432 --> 00:04:49,024
-And?
-Well, that's it.

70
00:04:49,367 --> 00:04:52,598
People never say, ''We need to talk,''
unless it's something bad.

71
00:04:52,771 --> 00:04:55,672
That doesn't necessarily mean
he's breaking up with you.

72
00:04:56,575 --> 00:05:00,477
-Really?
-Maybe he just cheated on you.

73
00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:08,586
l won't get rich doing it,
but l gotta say, it's cool...

74
00:05:08,753 --> 00:05:11,381
...knowing you're making
a difference in a kid's life.

75
00:05:11,556 --> 00:05:14,081
That is so great.

76
00:05:14,926 --> 00:05:16,621
Oh, my God!

77
00:05:16,795 --> 00:05:18,126
Oh, my God!

78
00:05:18,296 --> 00:05:20,321
-We'd better call the fire department.
-No! No!

79
00:05:20,498 --> 00:05:23,524
-No. No.
-Well, we don't need a fireman.

80
00:05:23,702 --> 00:05:26,865
We need, like, a good mechanic.

81
00:05:27,305 --> 00:05:31,366
-What?
-lt's probably just low on coolant.

82
00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:34,570
Oh, my God! Here they come!
We gotta get out of here!

83
00:05:34,746 --> 00:05:36,008
Wait. Why?

84
00:05:36,181 --> 00:05:39,981
lf l wanted to see a fireman,
l'd date one.

85
00:05:41,653 --> 00:05:43,587
That's all it is.
A third nipple.

86
00:05:43,822 --> 00:05:47,383
You know? Just your
run-of-the-mill third nipple.

87
00:05:47,592 --> 00:05:51,084
You can take it off.
Just slice that baby right off.

88
00:05:51,329 --> 00:05:54,457
Take your shirt off.
Let's see what we're dealing with.

89
00:05:57,168 --> 00:05:58,726
What are you doing?

90
00:05:59,671 --> 00:06:04,165
Just showing you my run-of-the-mill,
slice-it-right-off third nipple.

91
00:06:04,409 --> 00:06:06,969
Well, that's not a third nipple.

92
00:06:07,178 --> 00:06:09,612
First of all, it's on your ass.

93
00:06:10,615 --> 00:06:12,014
Well, then, what is it?

94
00:06:12,617 --> 00:06:14,414
Wait a minute. Hold it.

95
00:06:16,655 --> 00:06:19,522
-Jansen, come in here.
-l'm with Hamilton.

96
00:06:19,691 --> 00:06:22,125
He's good with weird things.
Bring him in too.

97
00:06:26,031 --> 00:06:30,764
You know what you don't see a lot?
Topless tap dancing.

98
00:06:33,505 --> 00:06:36,599
l really enjoy these little talks
we have.

99
00:06:37,442 --> 00:06:39,569
l gotta go water Pete's plants.

100
00:06:39,744 --> 00:06:44,044
You know what? lf he's gonna break up
with me, maybe l won't water them.

101
00:06:44,215 --> 00:06:48,083
lf he's gonna break up with you,
maybe Joey and l should do it...

102
00:06:50,956 --> 00:06:53,049
...if you know what l mean.

103
00:06:53,591 --> 00:06:54,990
Or...

104
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,060
...we could go and pee on them.

105
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,959
l can't take it, you know.

106
00:07:02,133 --> 00:07:05,102
l'm afraid one of them
will catch me with the other.

107
00:07:05,437 --> 00:07:06,836
lt's making me crazy!

108
00:07:07,105 --> 00:07:09,039
Why don't you break up
with one of them?

109
00:07:10,608 --> 00:07:13,873
What happened to playing the field?

110
00:07:14,145 --> 00:07:16,204
lt doesn't feel like playing anymore.

111
00:07:16,381 --> 00:07:19,407
lt feels like work.
lt's like l'm working in the field.

112
00:07:20,485 --> 00:07:21,975
So pick one of them.

113
00:07:22,187 --> 00:07:23,313
Which one do you like more?

114
00:07:23,555 --> 00:07:27,958
Vince is great, you know?
Because he's, like, a ''guy'' guy.

115
00:07:28,126 --> 00:07:32,028
He's just so burly,
so very burly.

116
00:07:33,865 --> 00:07:36,595
Okay, good. So there you go.
Go with Vince.

117
00:07:36,768 --> 00:07:38,668
Yeah, but Jason's really sensitive.

118
00:07:38,903 --> 00:07:40,803
Sensitive is important.
Pick him.

119
00:07:41,239 --> 00:07:44,868
-Yeah.
-Oh, sure. Go with the sissy.

120
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:48,437
Jason is not a sissy.

121
00:07:48,613 --> 00:07:50,672
No. No. l meant Chandler.

122
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,490
You know, l have dinner plans.

123
00:08:05,730 --> 00:08:09,257
Thank you so much for coming
on such a short notice.

124
00:08:09,534 --> 00:08:14,494
Ladies and gentlemen, l've been
practicing medicine for 23 years...

125
00:08:14,739 --> 00:08:16,104
...and l'm stumped.

126
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:29,851
Okay, this is the den.

127
00:08:30,088 --> 00:08:32,386
All right, check this out.
Lights!

128
00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:36,124
All right, less lights!
Bad lights!

129
00:08:36,327 --> 00:08:38,591
Lights, go away!

130
00:08:39,964 --> 00:08:42,398
See? You just need the right command.

131
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:45,400
Yes. And the dimmer switch.

132
00:08:46,471 --> 00:08:48,701
For a rich guy, that's a small TV.

133
00:08:48,873 --> 00:08:50,397
That's the videophone.

134
00:08:50,642 --> 00:08:53,509
But you're not supposed to be here,
so don't touch anything!

135
00:08:54,612 --> 00:08:57,843
lKEA, this is comfortable.

136
00:08:58,850 --> 00:09:01,011
This place is amazing.

137
00:09:01,252 --> 00:09:03,982
-Oh, God! That's the nicest kitchen.
-l know.

138
00:09:04,189 --> 00:09:05,451
lt's the nicest kitchen.

139
00:09:05,690 --> 00:09:08,090
The refrigerator
told me to have a great day.

140
00:09:09,828 --> 00:09:11,762
Look, a millionaire's checkbook.

141
00:09:11,963 --> 00:09:13,328
Joey, put that down.

142
00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:17,058
Oh, my God, that's Pete.
Get out!

143
00:09:17,235 --> 00:09:19,430
How the hell do you answer
a videophone?

144
00:09:19,604 --> 00:09:21,128
Monica?

145
00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:24,641
l guess that's how.

146
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:26,839
Monica, how's it going?

147
00:09:27,011 --> 00:09:29,343
Oh, it's good. lt's good.

148
00:09:29,547 --> 00:09:31,310
Just here, watering the plants.

149
00:09:31,516 --> 00:09:33,677
Don't forget that ficus
there by Rachel.

150
00:09:36,387 --> 00:09:37,786
Chandler's on the couch!

151
00:09:39,791 --> 00:09:42,453
l see him. You guys
are the worst hiders, ever.

152
00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:45,458
-Hi.
-How you doing?

153
00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:49,522
Pete, the other day when you said
you needed to talk...

154
00:09:49,701 --> 00:09:53,364
...just so l know,
is it good news or bad news?

155
00:09:53,571 --> 00:09:55,971
lt's good news.
lt's definitely good news.

156
00:09:56,441 --> 00:09:58,875
Hold on a second,
l have another call.

157
00:09:59,144 --> 00:10:02,204
-How's it going?
-lt's still me.

158
00:10:02,547 --> 00:10:04,378
No. l've got picture-in-picture here.

159
00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:09,851
Yeah. Okay.
l'm gonna have to call you back later.

160
00:10:10,488 --> 00:10:13,184
Monica? You.
l'm gonna have to call you back.

161
00:10:13,358 --> 00:10:15,349
Okay. So l'll see you soon.

162
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:17,525
-Okay. l love you.
-l love you.

163
00:10:17,762 --> 00:10:20,026
We love you too!

164
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,791
Well, it's good news.
lt's good news.

165
00:10:25,069 --> 00:10:28,163
-What do you think the good news is?
-Look at this!

166
00:10:28,439 --> 00:10:32,671
He wrote a check for $50,000
to ''Hugo Lindgren's Ring Design.''

167
00:10:34,846 --> 00:10:38,213
Sorry. What do you think
the good news is?

168
00:10:39,717 --> 00:10:40,775
Oh, my!

169
00:10:41,085 --> 00:10:42,916
Monica's gonna marry a millionaire!

170
00:10:43,621 --> 00:10:46,852
You gotta get Mom on the phone!
Call Mom! Call Mom!

171
00:10:49,627 --> 00:10:51,356
And that's Pete's mom.

172
00:11:00,004 --> 00:11:02,905
You have to make it a theme wedding.
And the theme could be:

173
00:11:03,241 --> 00:11:05,709
''Look how much money we've got!''

174
00:11:06,978 --> 00:11:09,776
l mean, you could put money
in the invitations.

175
00:11:10,081 --> 00:11:12,675
You could have, like,
little money place settings.

176
00:11:12,917 --> 00:11:15,477
And you could start
with a money salad.

177
00:11:15,753 --> 00:11:19,245
l mean, it'll be dry,
but people will like it.

178
00:11:19,457 --> 00:11:22,290
Would you stop?
We've only gone out a couple of weeks.

179
00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:24,223
We don't know if he'll propose.

180
00:11:24,462 --> 00:11:26,862
But this is Pete.
He's not like other people.

181
00:11:27,031 --> 00:11:28,862
On your first date, you went to Rome.

182
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:33,002
For most guys, that's like
a third or fourth date kind of thing.

183
00:11:34,272 --> 00:11:36,934
Well, if that's what it is,
then it's crazy.

184
00:11:37,508 --> 00:11:40,238
Monica's right.
We're talking about marriage here.

185
00:11:40,478 --> 00:11:42,912
She can't just rush into this.

186
00:11:43,114 --> 00:11:45,912
What do you know?
You married a lesbian!

187
00:11:52,257 --> 00:11:54,691
You could do worse Monica.
He's a really good guy.

188
00:11:55,026 --> 00:11:57,722
You know what you should do?
Don't decide now.

189
00:11:57,895 --> 00:12:01,456
Wait until you're in the moment and
whatever you feel will be the answer.

190
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:06,502
Pete gets down on his knee and pulls
out that pumpkin-sized diamond ring....

191
00:12:08,306 --> 00:12:10,900
l gotta go.
l have to break up with Vince.

192
00:12:11,209 --> 00:12:13,200
-You're going with the teacher?
-Yeah.

193
00:12:13,378 --> 00:12:16,939
l like Vince a lot, you know?
But Jason is so sensitive.

194
00:12:17,115 --> 00:12:20,983
ln the long run, l think
sensitive is better than having...

195
00:12:21,219 --> 00:12:24,848
...a really, really, really nice body.

196
00:12:28,526 --> 00:12:30,721
Jason. Definitely Jason.

197
00:12:30,895 --> 00:12:32,988
-Wish me luck.
-Good luck.

198
00:12:35,533 --> 00:12:36,795
Oh, my God!

199
00:12:39,671 --> 00:12:43,971
Sorry. l was imagining what it'd be like
to catch the money bouquet.

200
00:12:50,014 --> 00:12:52,073
Excuse me. ls Vince here?

201
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:54,946
Oh, sure. Vince!

202
00:12:57,555 --> 00:13:00,991
Wow. l didn't know you guys
actually used those.

203
00:13:01,893 --> 00:13:03,224
So, what's up?

204
00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:09,259
Wow. This isn't gonna be easy.

205
00:13:10,501 --> 00:13:13,493
l don't think we should
see each other anymore.

206
00:13:16,441 --> 00:13:17,669
Good deal.

207
00:13:19,077 --> 00:13:21,102
-l'm sorry.
-No, it's okay.

208
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,210
lt's just that l thought
we had something pretty special here.

209
00:13:26,451 --> 00:13:30,547
l felt like you were someone
l could finally open up to.

210
00:13:30,755 --> 00:13:34,088
There's so much in me
l haven't shared with you yet.

211
00:13:34,392 --> 00:13:36,019
My God!
l didn't know you were so--

212
00:13:36,394 --> 00:13:38,259
l'm sorry. l can't talk.

213
00:13:40,231 --> 00:13:42,461
l'm gonna go write in my journal.

214
00:13:46,037 --> 00:13:47,299
Wait! Wait! Wait!

215
00:13:49,707 --> 00:13:53,541
lf you wanna take care of that thing,
go see my herbal guy.

216
00:13:53,978 --> 00:13:57,311
Thank you. But l wanna remove it,
l don't want to make it savory.

217
00:13:59,784 --> 00:14:03,447
When girls sleep with guys
with weird things on their body...

218
00:14:03,721 --> 00:14:05,780
...they tell their friends about it.

219
00:14:06,457 --> 00:14:07,822
Give me that.

220
00:14:10,928 --> 00:14:14,728
Okay, don't be mad at me,
but l couldn't resist.

221
00:14:14,932 --> 00:14:16,297
-Brides' magazines?
-Yes.

222
00:14:16,467 --> 00:14:19,197
l know you said you'd say no
if he asked you but l'm sorry...

223
00:14:19,370 --> 00:14:24,740
...how great would you look walking
down the aisle in this Donna Karan?

224
00:14:25,476 --> 00:14:27,501
You so would!

225
00:14:27,979 --> 00:14:29,446
You should get that anyway.

226
00:14:31,816 --> 00:14:33,215
Well, for clubbing.

227
00:14:34,519 --> 00:14:35,816
lt is so weird.

228
00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:39,012
l know what l said.
But this morning...

229
00:14:39,257 --> 00:14:42,590
...l was lying in bed, imagining
what it would be like to say yes.

230
00:14:45,863 --> 00:14:48,764
l know it's a little sudden,
and it's rushed...

231
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,491
...and it's not like me to do
something like this.

232
00:14:51,836 --> 00:14:54,805
But it doesn't mean l can't.
Right?

233
00:14:55,006 --> 00:14:56,769
l mean, l'm crazy about Pete.

234
00:14:56,974 --> 00:14:59,807
And l know that
we want the same things.

235
00:15:00,044 --> 00:15:02,308
And when l thought
about saying yes...

236
00:15:02,547 --> 00:15:04,139
...it made me really happy.

237
00:15:04,515 --> 00:15:05,846
Oh, my God!

238
00:15:07,618 --> 00:15:08,880
l know.

239
00:15:09,787 --> 00:15:11,687
l need more pie.

240
00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:17,554
Mon, if you do get married,
can l bring two guests?

241
00:15:20,431 --> 00:15:24,390
-You didn't break up with that fireman?
-No. That was my way of telling you.

242
00:15:25,636 --> 00:15:28,127
Well, it turns out
he's incredibly sensitive.

243
00:15:28,339 --> 00:15:30,364
He keeps a journal and he paints.

244
00:15:30,541 --> 00:15:33,635
He even showed me charcoal drawings
that he drew of me.

245
00:15:33,878 --> 00:15:38,178
He'd prefer watercolors, but he has
easy access to a lot of charcoal.

246
00:15:41,085 --> 00:15:42,677
So then, are you gonna dump Jason?

247
00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:46,017
Yeah, because l have to break up
with someone.

248
00:15:46,224 --> 00:15:50,217
So Jason is sensitive.
But now so is Vince.

249
00:15:50,461 --> 00:15:52,622
Plus, Vince has the body.
You know?

250
00:15:52,897 --> 00:15:54,057
So....

251
00:15:55,933 --> 00:15:58,731
lt's really just about the math.

252
00:16:05,476 --> 00:16:07,910
-Jason?
-Come on in.

253
00:16:16,621 --> 00:16:18,316
You sounded serious on the phone.

254
00:16:18,623 --> 00:16:20,420
ls anything wrong?

255
00:16:38,476 --> 00:16:40,000
You must be Ross.

256
00:16:41,379 --> 00:16:44,610
-Hi.
-l am Guru Saj.

257
00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:51,219
Listen, l gotta tell you, l've never
been to a guru before, so....

258
00:16:51,556 --> 00:16:55,185
Well, relax. lf it makes you feel
any better, l've attended...

259
00:16:55,459 --> 00:16:57,757
...fine medical schools
in Central America.

260
00:16:58,496 --> 00:17:01,829
Well, let's take a look
at this skin abnormality of yours.

261
00:17:02,099 --> 00:17:03,760
Come on, have a seat.

262
00:17:08,139 --> 00:17:10,767
As l suspected, it's a kundus.

263
00:17:13,277 --> 00:17:14,505
What's a ''kundus''?

264
00:17:14,712 --> 00:17:17,977
l don't know.
What's a kundus with you?

265
00:17:22,553 --> 00:17:23,952
Please lie down.

266
00:17:24,121 --> 00:17:27,716
l've got a salve that
ought to shrink that right up.

267
00:17:27,992 --> 00:17:29,857
l guess it's worth a try.

268
00:17:30,061 --> 00:17:31,619
Sure. We should see results--

269
00:17:31,796 --> 00:17:34,663
Clearly not the way to go!

270
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,565
What? What?

271
00:17:37,868 --> 00:17:40,029
We appear to have angered it.

272
00:17:40,504 --> 00:17:42,404
We? We angered it?

273
00:17:44,709 --> 00:17:46,734
l think l see the problem.

274
00:17:47,311 --> 00:17:50,940
And l'm afraid we're gonna
have to use a much stronger tool.

275
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:56,242
-Love.
-Oh, God!

276
00:17:56,621 --> 00:17:59,920
Often these things are nothing more
than negative energy...

277
00:18:00,091 --> 00:18:01,649
...trying to escape your body.

278
00:18:01,826 --> 00:18:06,126
Now. this is not gonna come off unless
you learn to love it, my friend.

279
00:18:06,297 --> 00:18:10,256
So let me hear you say,
you will love the kundus.

280
00:18:12,136 --> 00:18:14,331
l love the kundus.

281
00:18:15,206 --> 00:18:19,768
There is absolutely no way
this is gonna come off...

282
00:18:19,944 --> 00:18:21,878
...unless you start to....

283
00:18:22,046 --> 00:18:24,480
What was that?

284
00:18:24,715 --> 00:18:26,808
Well, it's gone.

285
00:18:27,685 --> 00:18:30,882
-How's that?
-Got caught in my watch.

286
00:18:36,394 --> 00:18:38,055
Lights.

287
00:18:38,896 --> 00:18:40,591
Romantic lights.

288
00:18:42,099 --> 00:18:43,964
Nice.

289
00:18:44,135 --> 00:18:47,468
So there was this thing
l wanted to talk to you about.

290
00:18:47,905 --> 00:18:51,602
Oh, right. l completely forgot
about that.

291
00:18:54,412 --> 00:18:56,676
l've been doing a lot of thinking.

292
00:18:57,148 --> 00:19:00,345
-And l look at my life...
-Yeah.

293
00:19:00,518 --> 00:19:03,851
...and l feel like l've conquered
the business world.

294
00:19:04,822 --> 00:19:07,791
And l feel like l've conquered
the intellectual world.

295
00:19:08,859 --> 00:19:12,260
And now l have the most
beautiful woman in the world.

296
00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:17,260
-Wow.
-But there's one thing missing.

297
00:19:18,636 --> 00:19:19,898
What's that?

298
00:19:21,472 --> 00:19:24,464
lt's time for me to conquer
the physical world.

299
00:19:26,911 --> 00:19:28,640
Okay.

300
00:19:29,847 --> 00:19:33,112
Monica, l wanna become...

301
00:19:33,851 --> 00:19:36,217
...the Ultimate Fighting Champion.

302
00:19:37,455 --> 00:19:38,820
You wanna what?

303
00:19:40,024 --> 00:19:42,117
l wanna become
the Ultimate Fighting Champion.

304
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,192
lt's the most intense
physical competition in the world.

305
00:19:45,396 --> 00:19:46,829
lt's banned in 49 states.

306
00:19:47,498 --> 00:19:49,227
What are you talking about?

307
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,058
My trainer, Hoshi, is teaching me...

308
00:19:51,235 --> 00:19:53,897
...a combination of Jeet Kune Do
and Brazilian streetfighting.

309
00:19:54,171 --> 00:19:57,334
l even had my own
octagon training ring designed.

310
00:19:57,575 --> 00:20:00,567
And l suppose you used
a ring designer for that.

311
00:20:00,878 --> 00:20:02,641
Yeah.

312
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,681
Monica, l want you there
in the front row when l win.

313
00:20:06,884 --> 00:20:09,375
l want you close enough
to smell the blood.

314
00:20:11,422 --> 00:20:12,719
What do you think?

315
00:20:14,391 --> 00:20:16,518
My parents will be so happy.

316
00:20:21,866 --> 00:20:24,801
Crazy underwear
Creeping up my butt

317
00:20:26,537 --> 00:20:30,337
Crazy underwear
Always in a rut

318
00:20:30,508 --> 00:20:34,672
Crazy underwear

319
00:20:34,845 --> 00:20:37,837
Oh, no. What is he doing here?

320
00:20:38,082 --> 00:20:40,073
All right, just keep playing.
Keep playing.

321
00:20:40,317 --> 00:20:42,911
You'll get through this.
You'll be fine.

322
00:20:52,763 --> 00:20:54,390
Okay, thank you.

323
00:20:55,432 --> 00:20:59,095
And as always, no one talk to me
after the show.

324
00:21:02,807 --> 00:21:06,334
Hey. l was just passing by
and saw you were playing tonight.

325
00:21:06,610 --> 00:21:08,874
lt's kind of cool, seeing you up there.

326
00:21:12,116 --> 00:21:14,243
What's going on here?
Who's this guy?

327
00:21:15,286 --> 00:21:18,778
l don't know! He just started
kissing me. Get him, Vince!

328
00:21:20,758 --> 00:21:22,089
-What?
-What?

329
00:21:23,294 --> 00:21:25,592
Okay. l've been dating both of you.

330
00:21:26,964 --> 00:21:30,058
And it's been really horrible
because it's been...

331
00:21:30,301 --> 00:21:32,201
...a lot of fun for me.

332
00:21:35,272 --> 00:21:38,264
But l like you both...

333
00:21:38,542 --> 00:21:40,737
...and l didn't know how to choose.

334
00:21:41,045 --> 00:21:44,811
So l'm sorry. l'm just terrible.
l'm a terrible person.

335
00:21:45,082 --> 00:21:48,449
Phoebe, relax. lt's okay.
l mean....

336
00:21:48,719 --> 00:21:51,051
We never said this was exclusive.

337
00:21:51,322 --> 00:21:53,950
Neither did we.
So give yourself a break.

338
00:21:55,025 --> 00:21:57,118
-Really?
-Yeah.

339
00:21:57,294 --> 00:21:59,489
We haven't been going out that long.

340
00:21:59,797 --> 00:22:02,425
Come on, we haven't even
slept together yet.

341
00:22:03,234 --> 00:22:04,667
You haven't?

342
00:22:07,438 --> 00:22:10,737
-You have?
-Well, this is none of my business.

343
00:22:13,577 --> 00:22:16,637
l can't believe this!
You slept with him?

344
00:22:16,981 --> 00:22:19,779
Well, l made you
a candlelight dinner in the park.

345
00:22:21,018 --> 00:22:24,920
You know, Phoebe.
l'm gonna make this real easy for you.

346
00:22:29,693 --> 00:22:33,026
Well, that could have been
really awkward.

347
00:22:36,166 --> 00:22:39,329
You made him a candlelight dinner
in the park?

348
00:22:39,603 --> 00:22:43,004
Yeah, but l can do that for you.
l'm gonna do that for you.

349
00:22:43,274 --> 00:22:45,708
l can't believe
l ever went out with somebody...

350
00:22:46,010 --> 00:22:49,502
...who would actually have an open
flame in the middle of a wooded area!

351
00:22:58,088 --> 00:23:00,579
Everything's gonna be all right.

352
00:23:01,692 --> 00:23:03,250
Okay, Dick?

353
00:23:06,263 --> 00:23:08,197
Hello. l am Guru Saj.

354
00:23:11,702 --> 00:23:14,170
He's supposed to be a duck, right?
Because otherwise...

355
00:23:14,371 --> 00:23:16,396
...this is way out of my league.

356
00:23:16,607 --> 00:23:21,340
Yeah. He's got a really bad cough,
and our vet can't do anything about it.

357
00:23:21,512 --> 00:23:23,275
ls there something you can do?

358
00:23:23,681 --> 00:23:27,640
Let me see. Let me see.

359
00:23:29,687 --> 00:23:32,053
Do you think you could get him
to eat a bat?

360
00:23:35,726 --> 00:23:36,715
[ENGLlSH]