1
00:00:02,447 --> 00:00:05,974
So l told Carl, nobody, no matter
how famous their parents are...

2
00:00:06,151 --> 00:00:08,642
...is allowed to climb
on the dinosaur.

3
00:00:08,820 --> 00:00:10,947
But, of course,
it went right in one ear....

4
00:00:11,123 --> 00:00:13,990
I love how he cares
so much about stuff.

5
00:00:14,159 --> 00:00:18,459
If I squint, I can pretend
he's Alan Alda.

6
00:00:20,432 --> 00:00:23,731
Oh, good. Another dinosaur story.

7
00:00:25,504 --> 00:00:28,337
When are those gonna become extinct?

8
00:00:30,609 --> 00:00:34,409
If I was a superhero who could fly
and be invisible...

9
00:00:34,580 --> 00:00:36,878
...that would be the best.

10
00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:44,287
What does Rachel see in this guy?

11
00:00:45,791 --> 00:00:47,884
I love Rachel.

12
00:00:50,128 --> 00:00:52,494
I wish she was my wife.

13
00:01:04,810 --> 00:01:06,675
Who's singing?

14
00:01:10,582 --> 00:01:12,948
The One With the Race Car Bed

15
00:01:56,728 --> 00:02:00,027
When you guys were kids
and you played Happy Days...

16
00:02:00,198 --> 00:02:01,688
...who were you?
l was Richie.

17
00:02:01,867 --> 00:02:03,630
l was always Joanie.

18
00:02:03,802 --> 00:02:08,501
Question: Was ''Egg the Gellers!''
the war cry of your neighborhood?

19
00:02:10,676 --> 00:02:13,804
-lt's the Mattress King!
-Don't look, honey. Change the channel!

20
00:02:13,979 --> 00:02:16,641
Wait! l wanna see this!
After l divorce him...

21
00:02:16,815 --> 00:02:19,807
...half of that kingdom
is gonna be mine!

22
00:02:19,985 --> 00:02:23,045
Despair fills the mattress show room.

23
00:02:23,221 --> 00:02:26,122
My kingdom is suddenly
without a queen.

24
00:02:26,291 --> 00:02:27,918
I'm so depressed...

25
00:02:28,093 --> 00:02:29,651
...I'm going to slash...

26
00:02:29,828 --> 00:02:30,920
...my prices!

27
00:02:31,096 --> 00:02:33,929
Check it out!
599 for a California king!

28
00:02:34,099 --> 00:02:36,158
499 for a pillow-top queen set!

29
00:02:36,334 --> 00:02:38,666
I'm going medieval on prices!

30
00:02:38,837 --> 00:02:40,771
What a wank!

31
00:02:40,939 --> 00:02:44,932
l cannot believe he's using
our divorce to sell mattresses!

32
00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:49,240
l know. At 499 for a pillow-top queen,
who cares about the divorce?

33
00:02:49,414 --> 00:02:51,974
Those babies will sell themselves!

34
00:02:53,952 --> 00:02:56,716
And l'm appalled for you, by the way.

35
00:02:58,023 --> 00:03:02,119
I'm close! I'm cheap! I'm the King!

36
00:03:04,062 --> 00:03:07,225
He stuffs that codpiece, right?

37
00:03:07,399 --> 00:03:09,264
Oh, yeah.

38
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,374
Okay, here you go.

39
00:03:20,545 --> 00:03:23,912
You know what?
l asked for no cinnamon on top.

40
00:03:30,689 --> 00:03:34,386
Okay, Daddy. We'll see you
tomorrow night. Okay, bye.

41
00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:38,289
''We''?

42
00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:42,964
--are having dinner with my Dad
tomorrow night. l hope that's okay.

43
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,069
Oh, shoot!
Tomorrow's not good.

44
00:03:45,270 --> 00:03:48,034
l'm supposed to fall off
the Empire State Building...

45
00:03:48,206 --> 00:03:50,640
...and land on a bicycle
with no seat, so....

46
00:03:53,245 --> 00:03:55,440
Ross, my father doesn't hate you.

47
00:03:55,614 --> 00:03:58,981
Please. He refers to me as ''Wet-Head.''

48
00:03:59,551 --> 00:04:02,281
Honey, he calls everybody
by a nickname.

49
00:04:02,454 --> 00:04:05,787
l know. Just one dinner.
One night. For me. Please?

50
00:04:05,957 --> 00:04:08,755
l just want him to love you like l do.

51
00:04:09,227 --> 00:04:12,253
All right. Well, not exactly like l do.

52
00:04:12,531 --> 00:04:14,726
But if you do come to dinner...

53
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:18,461
...l'll love you like l do
in that black thing that you like.

54
00:04:18,770 --> 00:04:20,567
l'll go.

55
00:04:23,775 --> 00:04:26,539
-Fine.
-Thank you.

56
00:04:30,348 --> 00:04:31,542
Hi, Gunther.

57
00:04:31,716 --> 00:04:33,741
Yeah. We'll see.

58
00:04:36,121 --> 00:04:37,588
Hey, you guys!

59
00:04:37,756 --> 00:04:39,246
-Guess what.
-What?

60
00:04:39,424 --> 00:04:40,914
-l got a gig!
-Great!

61
00:04:41,259 --> 00:04:44,626
See, that's why l could never
be an actor. l can't say ''gig.''

62
00:04:44,796 --> 00:04:47,993
l can't say ''croissant.''
Oh, my God!

63
00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:51,560
-What's the part?
-lt's not a part.

64
00:04:51,837 --> 00:04:54,965
l'm teaching Acting for Soap Operas
at the Learning Extension.

65
00:04:55,140 --> 00:04:56,437
Come on! That's great!

66
00:04:56,608 --> 00:04:59,236
lt's, like, my chance
to give something back...

67
00:04:59,411 --> 00:05:01,572
...to the acting community.

68
00:05:01,746 --> 00:05:06,080
You're probably not allowed to sleep
with any of your students.

69
00:05:09,921 --> 00:05:11,718
l know.

70
00:05:17,095 --> 00:05:19,825
l don't know, Monica.
lt feels funny just being here.

71
00:05:20,165 --> 00:05:22,929
l mean, if you buy a bed
from Janice's ex-husband...

72
00:05:23,101 --> 00:05:24,932
...that's like betraying Chandler.

73
00:05:25,103 --> 00:05:27,264
Not at these prices!

74
00:05:33,378 --> 00:05:37,144
You know, in England this car would be
on the other side of the store.

75
00:05:47,926 --> 00:05:49,860
Phoebe. Come here.

76
00:05:50,829 --> 00:05:52,091
This is my new bed!

77
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:54,892
You gotta feel this bad boy!

78
00:05:55,066 --> 00:05:58,297
Monica, it still feels so weird,
you know?

79
00:05:58,470 --> 00:05:59,903
Chandler's your friend.

80
00:06:00,906 --> 00:06:02,601
Oh, my God!

81
00:06:04,476 --> 00:06:08,003
All right, take this bed.
You can make other friends.

82
00:06:16,454 --> 00:06:18,183
Good evening.

83
00:06:18,356 --> 00:06:20,722
l am Mr. Tribbiani.

84
00:06:21,192 --> 00:06:24,491
And l'll be teaching
Acting for Soap Operas.

85
00:06:24,663 --> 00:06:27,393
Unfortunately, tonight
will be my only class...

86
00:06:27,565 --> 00:06:32,059
...because due to a rare blood disease
l only have two weeks to live.

87
00:06:32,237 --> 00:06:34,728
So do we get our deposit back?

88
00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:38,373
That was supposed to be an example
of acting for soap operas.

89
00:06:38,543 --> 00:06:41,239
Then why are you
only teaching tonight?

90
00:06:43,014 --> 00:06:46,450
l'm not. Look, why don't we get
straight to the lesson, okay?

91
00:06:46,618 --> 00:06:48,210
Now...

92
00:06:48,586 --> 00:06:53,990
...on my first day as Dr. Drake Ramoray
on Days of Our Lives...

93
00:06:56,995 --> 00:07:01,591
...l learned one of the most important
things in soap opera acting...

94
00:07:01,766 --> 00:07:02,960
...is reacting.

95
00:07:03,134 --> 00:07:05,830
This does not mean acting again.

96
00:07:07,138 --> 00:07:10,539
lt means you don't have a line,
but someone else just did.

97
00:07:10,709 --> 00:07:12,939
And it goes something like this:

98
00:07:20,051 --> 00:07:21,484
Thanks. Thanks a lot.

99
00:07:21,653 --> 00:07:24,520
By the way, before l forget:
To work in soap operas...

100
00:07:24,689 --> 00:07:28,147
...some of you are gonna have
to become much more attractive.

101
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,860
All right, moving right along....

102
00:07:36,334 --> 00:07:40,134
-How was teaching last night?
-Great! You get to say stuff like:

103
00:07:40,305 --> 00:07:44,867
''Hey, the bell doesn't dismiss you.
l dismiss you.''

104
00:07:46,044 --> 00:07:47,375
Oh, nice.

105
00:07:47,612 --> 00:07:51,013
Guess what?
l got an audition for All My Children!

106
00:07:51,182 --> 00:07:53,844
lt's this great part.
This boxer named Nick.

107
00:07:54,119 --> 00:07:57,088
And l'm so, so right for it.
He's just like me.

108
00:07:57,255 --> 00:07:59,052
Except that he's a boxer...

109
00:07:59,224 --> 00:08:00,851
...and has an evil twin.

110
00:08:07,799 --> 00:08:11,166
Hear ye, hear ye!
Delivery from the Mattress King!

111
00:08:13,772 --> 00:08:15,865
-You Miss Geller?
-Okay.

112
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,804
Sign here.

113
00:08:18,777 --> 00:08:20,438
Do l have a middle name?

114
00:08:20,612 --> 00:08:24,048
All right. Monica ''Felula'' ...

115
00:08:24,516 --> 00:08:25,744
...Geller.

116
00:08:25,917 --> 00:08:27,908
lt's that bedroom there.

117
00:08:31,056 --> 00:08:33,684
Monica bought a bed
from the Mattress King?

118
00:08:33,858 --> 00:08:37,157
So please, please, please
don't say anything to Chandler.

119
00:08:37,495 --> 00:08:40,123
-You want me to lie to him?
-ls that a problem?

120
00:08:42,767 --> 00:08:45,827
Oh, hey, ''Nick the boxer.''
Let's see what you got!

121
00:08:46,004 --> 00:08:49,997
-All right, put them up. Come on.
-Hey, you're pretty good at this.

122
00:08:50,175 --> 00:08:52,507
l had to learn.
l was staying at the Y...

123
00:08:52,677 --> 00:08:55,908
...and some of the young men
weren't acting Christian enough.

124
00:08:58,483 --> 00:08:59,950
Hey, now!

125
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:03,888
And l'm bleeding.
Okay, great.

126
00:09:04,055 --> 00:09:06,649
Wow! And l'm a vegetarian!

127
00:09:08,093 --> 00:09:10,391
l'm sorry.
We'll put some ice on it.

128
00:09:10,562 --> 00:09:12,359
-Put your head back.
-All right.

129
00:09:12,530 --> 00:09:14,088
-l can't see.
-l have you.

130
00:09:14,265 --> 00:09:16,062
Oh, God!

131
00:09:17,001 --> 00:09:19,401
Which bedroom do you want it in,
Ms. Geller?

132
00:09:19,571 --> 00:09:22,836
lt's the compulsively neat one
by the window.

133
00:09:23,007 --> 00:09:24,804
Gotcha.

134
00:09:31,549 --> 00:09:33,380
Hi, Daddy!

135
00:09:33,551 --> 00:09:35,143
This is where they put us?

136
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:38,778
What, there was no table
available in the kitchen?

137
00:09:39,390 --> 00:09:41,688
-Hello, baby.
-You remember Ross.

138
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:44,090
Nice to see you again, Dr. Greene.

139
00:09:44,262 --> 00:09:46,127
So....

140
00:09:51,102 --> 00:09:53,468
-How's the library?
-Museum.

141
00:09:54,339 --> 00:09:57,706
-What happened to the library?
-There never was a library.

142
00:09:57,876 --> 00:10:00,504
l mean, there are libraries.
lt's just...

143
00:10:00,678 --> 00:10:02,976
...that l've never worked at one.

144
00:10:06,317 --> 00:10:09,684
You know what's really good here?
The lobster.

145
00:10:09,854 --> 00:10:14,086
-What do you say? Shall l order three?
-lf you're really hungry.

146
00:10:18,496 --> 00:10:20,555
lt was a joke. l made a joke.

147
00:10:21,866 --> 00:10:24,460
Actually, Daddy,
Ross is allergic to lobster.

148
00:10:24,636 --> 00:10:26,536
What kind of person's
allergic to lobster?

149
00:10:26,704 --> 00:10:29,366
l guess the kind of person
that works in a library.

150
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,168
-lt's not--
-l know. lt's a museum!

151
00:10:31,342 --> 00:10:34,937
You're the only who can make a joke?
At least mine was funny.

152
00:10:35,113 --> 00:10:36,205
Waiter.

153
00:10:36,381 --> 00:10:39,350
We will have two lobsters
and a menu.

154
00:10:43,454 --> 00:10:46,082
So, Dr. Greene, how's the old boat?

155
00:10:46,257 --> 00:10:49,749
They found rust. Do you know
what rust does to a boat?

156
00:10:49,961 --> 00:10:52,259
Gives it a nice antique-y look?

157
00:10:57,235 --> 00:11:00,762
Rust is boat cancer, Ross.

158
00:11:00,939 --> 00:11:02,531
Wow, l'm sorry.

159
00:11:02,707 --> 00:11:05,039
When l was a kid,
l lost a bike to that.

160
00:11:11,115 --> 00:11:12,639
Excuse me for a moment, will you?

161
00:11:12,817 --> 00:11:15,342
l wanna say good night
to the Levines before we go.

162
00:11:20,191 --> 00:11:22,352
Honey, stop. lt's not that bad.

163
00:11:25,496 --> 00:11:28,988
Your dad must have added wrong.
He only tipped like 4% .

164
00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:31,032
Yeah. That's Daddy.

165
00:11:31,469 --> 00:11:35,769
''That's Daddy''? Doesn't it
bother you? You're a waitress.

166
00:11:35,940 --> 00:11:37,532
Yes, it bothers me.

167
00:11:37,709 --> 00:11:41,873
lf he was a regular at the coffee house,
l'd be serving him sneezers.

168
00:11:42,914 --> 00:11:44,609
-So?
-So, Ross...

169
00:11:44,782 --> 00:11:48,775
...l've bugged him about this
a million times. He won't change.

170
00:11:48,953 --> 00:11:51,854
Do you really serve people sneezers?

171
00:11:52,457 --> 00:11:54,118
Well, l don't.

172
00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:56,989
All right, kids. Ready?

173
00:11:57,161 --> 00:11:59,891
Thanks again, Dr. Greene.

174
00:12:05,003 --> 00:12:07,631
Wait, l think l forgot my receipt.

175
00:12:07,805 --> 00:12:09,773
-You don't need that.
-Why not?

176
00:12:09,941 --> 00:12:14,275
The carbon. lt's messy. l mean,
gets on your fingers and causes...

177
00:12:14,445 --> 00:12:15,742
...night blindness.

178
00:12:19,050 --> 00:12:20,847
What is this?

179
00:12:21,019 --> 00:12:23,180
Who put a 20 down here? Huh?

180
00:12:23,354 --> 00:12:25,914
Oh, yeah, that would be me.

181
00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:29,787
l have a problem.
l tip way too much. Way too much.

182
00:12:29,961 --> 00:12:32,156
-lt's a sickness, really.
-Yeah, it is.

183
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:35,356
-We have to do something about that.
-Excuse me.

184
00:12:35,533 --> 00:12:37,592
You think l'm cheap?

185
00:12:37,769 --> 00:12:40,897
He didn't mean anything by that.
He really didn't.

186
00:12:41,072 --> 00:12:44,098
Nothing l do means anything. Really.

187
00:12:45,910 --> 00:12:48,378
This is nice.
l pay $200 for dinner.

188
00:12:48,546 --> 00:12:52,073
You put down $20 and you come out
looking like Mr. Big Shot.

189
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:55,777
You really want to be Mr. Big Shot?
Here. l'll tell you what:

190
00:12:55,953 --> 00:12:59,445
You pay the whole bill,
Mr. Big Shot. All right?

191
00:13:01,359 --> 00:13:05,193
Well, ''Mr. Big Shot'' is better
than ''Wet-Head.''

192
00:13:06,364 --> 00:13:08,730
Okay, some tricks of the trade.

193
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:11,801
Now, l've never been able
to cry as an actor.

194
00:13:11,969 --> 00:13:16,201
So if l'm in a scene where l have
to cry, l cut a hole in my pocket...

195
00:13:16,374 --> 00:13:18,740
...take a pair of tweezers...

196
00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:20,775
...and just start pulling.

197
00:13:23,748 --> 00:13:26,478
Or let's say l wanna convey...

198
00:13:26,651 --> 00:13:29,552
...that l've just done something evil.

199
00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:34,658
That would be your basic l've-got-a-
fish-hook-in-my-eyebrow-and-l-like-it.

200
00:13:39,163 --> 00:13:41,495
Let's say l've just gotten bad news.

201
00:13:41,666 --> 00:13:47,070
Well, all l do there is try
and divide 232 by 1 3.

202
00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:57,275
And that's how it's done.

203
00:13:57,448 --> 00:13:59,780
Great soap opera acting
tonight, everybody.

204
00:13:59,951 --> 00:14:01,885
Class dismissed.

205
00:14:03,688 --> 00:14:05,280
-Hey, Mr. Trib.
-Hey.

206
00:14:05,456 --> 00:14:07,583
Guess what? l got an audition!

207
00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:12,427
One of my students got an audition.
l'm so proud!

208
00:14:12,597 --> 00:14:15,293
l was wondering if you'd
consider coaching me for it.

209
00:14:15,466 --> 00:14:18,299
-You bet! What's the part?
-Oh, it's great!

210
00:14:18,469 --> 00:14:21,302
lt's a role on All My Children.
Nick the boxer.

211
00:14:29,347 --> 00:14:31,577
You had to do it.
You couldn't leave it alone.

212
00:14:31,749 --> 00:14:36,448
Four percent, okay? l tip more than
that when there's a bug in my food.

213
00:14:36,621 --> 00:14:39,488
Tonight was about
the two of you getting along.

214
00:14:40,258 --> 00:14:42,453
Would you just see
my chiropractor already?

215
00:14:42,627 --> 00:14:46,927
l'm gonna go to a doctor who went
to medical school in a mini-mall.

216
00:14:51,002 --> 00:14:53,061
Hey, Pheebs. What are you doing?

217
00:14:53,237 --> 00:14:56,070
l'm freaking out!

218
00:14:58,109 --> 00:15:01,943
Monica trusted me with something
and she shouldn't have!

219
00:15:02,113 --> 00:15:05,082
l haven't lived here in a while,
so l have to ask you.

220
00:15:05,249 --> 00:15:08,810
Does Monica still turn the lights on
in her bedroom?

221
00:15:10,788 --> 00:15:12,847
l am so dead!

222
00:15:14,358 --> 00:15:18,988
Look, here's the bottom line.
This is fixable if we act fast, okay?

223
00:15:19,163 --> 00:15:21,961
l'll invite him to brunch tomorrow,
and you can make nice.

224
00:15:22,133 --> 00:15:25,398
Honey, l have tried to make nice.
lt doesn't work.

225
00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:27,731
Look, l realize my father is difficult.

226
00:15:27,905 --> 00:15:31,500
But that's why you have got
to be the bigger man here.

227
00:15:31,676 --> 00:15:35,476
Sweetie, l could be the bigger man.
l could be the biggest man.

228
00:15:35,646 --> 00:15:39,446
l could be a big, huge, giant man,
it still wouldn't make a difference.

229
00:15:39,617 --> 00:15:43,883
Except l could pick your father up and
say, ''Like me! Like me, tiny doctor!''

230
00:15:45,623 --> 00:15:49,115
Can't you just try it one more time?
For me? For me?

231
00:15:49,293 --> 00:15:51,955
One brunch is not gonna
solve anything.

232
00:15:52,129 --> 00:15:54,427
Face it.
We're never gonna get along.

233
00:15:54,599 --> 00:15:56,965
Well, you are just going to have to.

234
00:15:57,134 --> 00:16:00,729
l've already got a mother and father
who cannot stay in the same room.

235
00:16:00,905 --> 00:16:04,238
l don't want to have a separate room
for you too!

236
00:16:05,643 --> 00:16:07,975
l'll get the bagels.

237
00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:14,284
What's this?

238
00:16:14,785 --> 00:16:16,810
lsn't it cool?

239
00:16:19,190 --> 00:16:21,249
-This is not the bed l ordered.
-l know!

240
00:16:21,425 --> 00:16:24,622
You must have won,
like, a contest or something.

241
00:16:28,266 --> 00:16:30,131
Why is this car in my bedroom?

242
00:16:30,301 --> 00:16:32,269
l'm sorry. l wasn't looking...

243
00:16:32,436 --> 00:16:35,633
...and the store won't take it back
because you signed for it.

244
00:16:35,806 --> 00:16:38,400
-When did l sign for it?
-When l was you.

245
00:16:38,576 --> 00:16:41,568
lt's all Joey's fault,
because he left his nose open!

246
00:16:43,881 --> 00:16:46,577
Did you make brownies today?

247
00:16:47,318 --> 00:16:48,649
-Knock, knock!
-Quick!

248
00:16:48,819 --> 00:16:51,879
Take off your dress.
He won't notice the bed.

249
00:16:53,157 --> 00:16:56,422
l'm going for sushi.
Does anybody want--?

250
00:16:58,095 --> 00:17:00,427
Somebody missed the off-ramp!

251
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:07,332
-lt's Monica's bed. What?
-Okay.

252
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:10,134
lt's a racecar!

253
00:17:10,841 --> 00:17:13,935
This has always been Monica's bed.
You just noticed?

254
00:17:14,111 --> 00:17:15,806
How self-involved are you?

255
00:17:18,015 --> 00:17:22,213
lf this bed isn't new, then how come
there's plastic on the mattress?

256
00:17:24,589 --> 00:17:27,353
Sometimes l have bad dreams.

257
00:17:30,428 --> 00:17:31,861
Look...

258
00:17:32,029 --> 00:17:36,363
...l just saw my best friend's brain
smeared across the canvas.

259
00:17:36,534 --> 00:17:38,661
lt's not gonna be me.

260
00:17:38,836 --> 00:17:40,326
Not me.

261
00:17:44,108 --> 00:17:45,507
That was good.

262
00:17:45,676 --> 00:17:46,665
That was--

263
00:17:47,545 --> 00:17:50,139
-Tweezers?
-No.

264
00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:55,052
-That was really good.
-Thanks.

265
00:17:55,353 --> 00:17:56,479
Any suggestions?

266
00:18:03,561 --> 00:18:06,155
You told him to play the boxer gay?

267
00:18:10,267 --> 00:18:12,326
Well, l might have said:

268
00:18:12,503 --> 00:18:14,334
''Super-gay.''

269
00:18:15,339 --> 00:18:20,140
Joey, the last time an actor did
something this bad, a president died.

270
00:18:20,611 --> 00:18:22,272
Lincoln. Booth.

271
00:18:22,446 --> 00:18:24,175
Something happened at the tunnel?

272
00:18:26,117 --> 00:18:29,143
You're this guy's teacher.
How could you do this?

273
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:33,848
Because, Monica, the guy's so good.
And l really, really want this part.

274
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:37,051
Well, if you really, really want it,
then it's okay.

275
00:18:39,430 --> 00:18:41,227
-Hi, Daddy.
-Baby.

276
00:18:43,567 --> 00:18:46,798
-Ross.
-Dr. Greene, how are you?

277
00:18:49,106 --> 00:18:51,074
Thanks for dinner last night.

278
00:18:51,242 --> 00:18:54,405
Thank you for teaching me
a valuable lesson.

279
00:18:54,578 --> 00:18:57,809
Nice hair. What did you do, swim here?

280
00:19:00,484 --> 00:19:02,748
That's it. l can't take it anymore.

281
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,252
What? He's interested in you.
He likes your hair.

282
00:19:05,423 --> 00:19:08,051
-He just wants to know how you got here.
-Oh, please.

283
00:19:08,559 --> 00:19:11,824
-lt's hopeless. l'm just gonna go.
-What? Ross....

284
00:19:11,996 --> 00:19:13,987
-l'm sorry. lt's just--
-Ross?

285
00:19:14,398 --> 00:19:15,729
What's with the neck?

286
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,835
He has this thing. l keep telling
him to go to my chiropractor.

287
00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:20,732
You still going to him?

288
00:19:21,038 --> 00:19:24,098
That man couldn't get
into med school in lxtapa!

289
00:19:24,275 --> 00:19:26,903
Thank you.
That's what l keep saying.

290
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:30,878
Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens
to be an excellent doctor.

291
00:19:31,048 --> 00:19:34,211
Wait a minute.
His name is Dr. Bobby?

292
00:19:35,152 --> 00:19:37,712
-That's his last name.
-And his first name.

293
00:19:37,888 --> 00:19:40,322
He's Bobby Bobby?

294
00:19:41,659 --> 00:19:43,456
lt's Robert Bobby.

295
00:19:45,062 --> 00:19:47,929
And excuse me, he helps me.

296
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:51,000
-Please. Ask her how.
-What do you need help for?

297
00:19:51,168 --> 00:19:53,466
My alignment.
One leg's shorter than the other.

298
00:19:53,637 --> 00:19:55,628
-Oh, my God.
-Argue with that.

299
00:19:55,806 --> 00:19:58,240
lt's true! My right leg is
two inches shorter!

300
00:19:58,409 --> 00:20:00,843
Come on, you're just tilting!

301
00:20:01,812 --> 00:20:03,837
-Her legs are fine.
-l know that.

302
00:20:04,014 --> 00:20:06,881
-So why do you let her go to him?
-''Let her''?

303
00:20:07,051 --> 00:20:10,612
She doesn't listen to me
about renter's insurance either.

304
00:20:10,788 --> 00:20:13,882
Wait a minute,
you don't have renter's insurance?

305
00:20:17,628 --> 00:20:18,925
What if you're robbed?

306
00:20:19,096 --> 00:20:23,123
How will you run after the robber
with one leg shorter than the other?

307
00:20:28,205 --> 00:20:32,198
-Would you like some juice?
-l'd love some juice.

308
00:20:33,711 --> 00:20:36,737
This is going so well!
Did you see us? Did you see?

309
00:20:36,914 --> 00:20:39,405
Yeah, honey.
l was standing right there.

310
00:20:39,683 --> 00:20:42,652
Why don't you tell him
about the mole l haven't checked yet?

311
00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,412
Excellent!

312
00:20:48,092 --> 00:20:50,822
There will come a time
in each of your careers...

313
00:20:50,995 --> 00:20:55,489
...when you'll have a chance to screw
over another soap opera actor.

314
00:20:55,866 --> 00:20:59,996
l had such an opportunity
in the recent present.

315
00:21:01,572 --> 00:21:04,006
And l'm ashamed to say...

316
00:21:04,175 --> 00:21:06,109
...that l took it.

317
00:21:06,944 --> 00:21:11,210
l advised a fellow actor
to play a role...

318
00:21:12,249 --> 00:21:14,240
...homosexually.

319
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:23,251
We both auditioned for the part...

320
00:21:23,694 --> 00:21:25,719
...and as it turned out...

321
00:21:26,497 --> 00:21:28,021
...they....

322
00:21:29,233 --> 00:21:32,532
They liked the stupid gay thing
and cast him.

323
00:21:34,905 --> 00:21:36,566
And now...

324
00:21:36,740 --> 00:21:40,107
...he's got a two-year
contract opposite...

325
00:21:41,345 --> 00:21:43,279
...Susan Lucci...

326
00:21:43,447 --> 00:21:46,712
...the first lady
of daytime television.

327
00:21:47,418 --> 00:21:49,147
And me?

328
00:21:49,386 --> 00:21:53,015
Me, l'm stuck here teaching
a bunch of people...

329
00:21:53,190 --> 00:21:56,887
...most of whom are too ugly
to even be on TV.

330
00:21:59,396 --> 00:22:01,591
l'm sorry. l'm sorry.

331
00:22:11,475 --> 00:22:13,204
Thank you.

332
00:22:16,981 --> 00:22:18,471
-May l help you?
-Yes, hi.

333
00:22:18,649 --> 00:22:21,482
We spoke earlier. l'm the lady
stuck with the racecar bed.

334
00:22:21,652 --> 00:22:26,089
Look, it's like l told you.
There's nothing l can do.

335
00:22:26,257 --> 00:22:30,489
You signed for it.
''Monica Felula Geller.''

336
00:22:31,195 --> 00:22:33,356
All right, jester man,
we wanna see the King.

337
00:22:33,530 --> 00:22:35,498
Nobody sees the King.

338
00:22:36,467 --> 00:22:41,803
-Okay. l'm talking to the King.
-Hey, you can't go back there!

339
00:22:46,510 --> 00:22:50,037
Oh, my God.

340
00:23:04,161 --> 00:23:06,026
Watch it, lady!

341
00:23:11,869 --> 00:23:14,269
Hey, good-looking.

342
00:23:23,881 --> 00:23:25,849
All right, l'll leave.

343
00:23:26,016 --> 00:23:28,211
My bed's so boring.

344
00:23:28,419 --> 00:23:29,408
[ENGLlSH]