1 00:00:02,848 --> 00:00:06,181 -That girl totally winked at me! -She did not wink at you. 2 00:00:06,351 --> 00:00:08,819 You always think somebody's winking at you. 3 00:00:25,037 --> 00:00:27,369 The One With the Princess Leia Fantasy 4 00:01:10,549 --> 00:01:12,915 l have to say ''Tupelo Honey'' by Van Morrison. 5 00:01:13,085 --> 00:01:14,518 No way! 6 00:01:14,686 --> 00:01:17,678 The most romantic song ever was ''The Way We Were.'' 7 00:01:17,856 --> 00:01:22,759 l think the one that Elton John wrote for that guy on Who's the Boss? 8 00:01:24,730 --> 00:01:26,095 What song was that, Pheebs? 9 00:01:26,832 --> 00:01:30,165 Hold me close Young Tony Danza 10 00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:36,497 -Hi, Monica. -Hi, Mon. 11 00:01:36,675 --> 00:01:38,609 Hey, Mon. 12 00:01:40,045 --> 00:01:41,512 Oh, my God! 13 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,545 -Has she slept at all? -No. 14 00:01:43,715 --> 00:01:47,708 -lt's been three nights in a row. -She finally stopped crying yesterday. 15 00:01:47,886 --> 00:01:51,822 But then she found one of Richard's cigar butts on the terrace.... 16 00:01:51,990 --> 00:01:55,619 Okay, that explains it. l got a call at 2 in the morning... 17 00:01:55,794 --> 00:01:58,922 ...and all l could hear was this squeaky sound. So l thought: 18 00:01:59,097 --> 00:02:00,689 ''lt's, like, a mouse or a possum.'' 19 00:02:02,534 --> 00:02:04,695 Then l realized, like: 20 00:02:04,870 --> 00:02:09,933 ''Okay, where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make the phone call?'' 21 00:02:12,744 --> 00:02:14,371 -Morning. -Morning. 22 00:02:15,414 --> 00:02:16,904 You made pancakes? 23 00:02:17,883 --> 00:02:20,852 Yeah, like there's any way l could ever do that. 24 00:02:21,486 --> 00:02:24,478 Monica and Rachel had syrup 25 00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:27,915 Now I can get my man to cheer up 26 00:02:30,562 --> 00:02:33,360 -Good morning, Joey. -Good morning. 27 00:02:33,532 --> 00:02:36,729 Someone's wearing grumpy pants. 28 00:02:36,902 --> 00:02:40,030 lt's gotta be you, man. l'm wearing smarty-pants. 29 00:02:40,205 --> 00:02:43,072 Okay, here we go: One, two... 30 00:02:43,241 --> 00:02:48,440 ...and here's my chance to give you a third one. 31 00:02:48,613 --> 00:02:51,946 -Joey? -No, no. l'll just have juice. 32 00:02:53,185 --> 00:02:56,985 Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me? 33 00:02:57,155 --> 00:02:58,247 Oh, l wish. 34 00:02:58,423 --> 00:03:02,189 You have that report to finish, and l've gotta go see my lawyer. 35 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,090 l can't believe l date a girl who's getting divorced. 36 00:03:05,263 --> 00:03:07,231 l'm such a grownup. 37 00:03:07,399 --> 00:03:08,730 Joey! Hey! 38 00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:10,834 Go to your room! 39 00:03:11,303 --> 00:03:12,361 Chandler! Hey! 40 00:03:12,704 --> 00:03:14,399 Up yours! 41 00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:16,802 l gotta go, l gotta go. 42 00:03:16,975 --> 00:03:18,237 Not without a kiss. 43 00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:20,537 Maybe l won't kiss you so you'll stay. 44 00:03:20,712 --> 00:03:22,907 Kiss her. Kiss her! 45 00:03:24,883 --> 00:03:27,283 l'll see you later, sweetie. Bye, Joey. 46 00:03:27,486 --> 00:03:29,545 Bye-bye, Janice. 47 00:03:31,723 --> 00:03:33,281 So when are you dumping her? 48 00:03:33,458 --> 00:03:36,325 Nope. Not this time. 49 00:03:36,495 --> 00:03:38,429 Come on, quit yanking me. 50 00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:43,559 l'm not yanking you. 51 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,298 -This is Janice. -Yeah, l know. 52 00:03:47,472 --> 00:03:48,939 She makes me happy. 53 00:03:49,741 --> 00:03:52,266 Okay. All right. 54 00:03:52,444 --> 00:03:56,005 You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking... 55 00:03:56,181 --> 00:03:58,911 ...that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking. 56 00:04:01,853 --> 00:04:03,480 l'm not breaking up with her! 57 00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:14,826 God, look what l found in the drain! 58 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,194 What? 59 00:04:17,202 --> 00:04:21,366 lt's some of Richard's hair! What do l do with this? 60 00:04:21,606 --> 00:04:24,769 Getting it away from me would be job one. 61 00:04:25,677 --> 00:04:28,908 lt's weird, but l don't want to throw this away. 62 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,173 l mean, this is all l have left of him. 63 00:04:31,349 --> 00:04:32,907 Gross... 64 00:04:33,585 --> 00:04:34,677 ...drain hair. 65 00:04:41,059 --> 00:04:46,395 Cool! lt looks like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. 66 00:04:48,867 --> 00:04:50,664 God, what is wrong with me? 67 00:04:50,836 --> 00:04:54,897 -You need to get some sleep. -l need to get some Richard. 68 00:04:57,042 --> 00:04:59,306 You broke up with him for a reason. 69 00:04:59,477 --> 00:05:03,277 l know. l know. l'm just so tired of missing him. 70 00:05:03,448 --> 00:05:06,713 l'm tired of wondering why he hasn't called. Why hasn't he called? 71 00:05:06,885 --> 00:05:08,944 Maybe because you told him not to? 72 00:05:09,754 --> 00:05:12,245 What are you, the Memory Woman? 73 00:05:14,025 --> 00:05:16,152 They're not breaking up! Chandler and Janice? 74 00:05:16,328 --> 00:05:19,991 They're not breaking up! He didn't blink or anything! 75 00:05:20,165 --> 00:05:22,690 l'm not surprised. Have you seen them together? 76 00:05:22,868 --> 00:05:26,326 -They're really cute. -''Cute''? This is Janice! 77 00:05:27,439 --> 00:05:28,838 You remember Janice? 78 00:05:29,007 --> 00:05:31,567 Yes, l remember. She's annoying. But you know what? 79 00:05:31,743 --> 00:05:34,303 She's his girlfriend now. l mean, what can we do? 80 00:05:34,479 --> 00:05:38,939 There you go! That's the spirit l'm looking for! ''What can we do?'' 81 00:05:40,252 --> 00:05:42,720 All right, who's first, huh? Ross? 82 00:05:42,888 --> 00:05:45,789 l think Chandler's our friend, and Janice makes him happy. 83 00:05:45,957 --> 00:05:48,482 So l say we all be adult about it and accept her. 84 00:05:48,660 --> 00:05:51,823 We'll call that ''Plan B,'' all right? 85 00:05:53,231 --> 00:05:55,392 Come on, people! We need some inspiration. 86 00:05:55,567 --> 00:05:57,933 Okay, all right. You want a plan? Here we go: 87 00:05:58,103 --> 00:06:03,040 So, Ross, you go in through the air duct and disable the alarm, okay? 88 00:06:03,208 --> 00:06:05,540 Then the rest of us will rappel down ropes. 89 00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:10,044 We're in and out in 1 0 minutes and disappear into the night. Huh? 90 00:06:31,903 --> 00:06:33,131 Honey... 91 00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:35,170 ...l was wondering.... 92 00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:39,743 Do you still have that Navy uniform? 93 00:06:41,046 --> 00:06:44,379 No, l had to return it to the costume place. 94 00:06:44,549 --> 00:06:48,007 l think l have an old band uniform from high school. 95 00:06:48,186 --> 00:06:51,121 You remember not having sex in high school, right? 96 00:06:56,394 --> 00:06:59,591 -Well, honey, what about you? -What? 97 00:07:00,465 --> 00:07:05,528 Do you have any fun, you know, fantasy-type things? 98 00:07:06,504 --> 00:07:08,165 No. 99 00:07:09,474 --> 00:07:11,237 Come on. You gotta have one. 100 00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:13,299 Nope. 101 00:07:14,412 --> 00:07:16,073 -Ross. You know what? -What? 102 00:07:16,247 --> 00:07:19,774 lf you tell me, l might do it. 103 00:07:31,463 --> 00:07:35,331 Did you ever see Return of the Jedi? 104 00:07:44,342 --> 00:07:47,334 Do you remember the scene... 105 00:07:48,646 --> 00:07:51,046 ...with Jabba the Hutt? 106 00:07:53,051 --> 00:07:57,283 He was this really fat worm guy. 107 00:07:57,722 --> 00:08:00,418 Wow. Men and women really are different. 108 00:08:01,526 --> 00:08:02,550 No. No. No. 109 00:08:02,727 --> 00:08:06,686 See, Jabba had as his prisoner... 110 00:08:06,865 --> 00:08:09,129 ...Princess Leia. 111 00:08:12,203 --> 00:08:15,661 Princess Leia was wearing... 112 00:08:16,141 --> 00:08:18,701 ...this gold bikini thing. 113 00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:23,138 lt was pretty cool. 114 00:08:25,283 --> 00:08:29,310 So are you saying that you would like me... 115 00:08:30,188 --> 00:08:32,520 ...to dress up like Princess Leia... 116 00:08:32,690 --> 00:08:33,952 ...in a gold bikini? 117 00:08:34,292 --> 00:08:35,987 Okay. 118 00:08:38,096 --> 00:08:42,089 Princess Leia and the gold bikini? Every guy our age loved that. 119 00:08:44,069 --> 00:08:45,866 Really? 120 00:08:46,171 --> 00:08:49,971 lt's huge! That's the moment when she stopped being a princess... 121 00:08:50,141 --> 00:08:52,871 ...and she became, like, you know, a woman. 122 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:59,309 -Did you ever do the Leia thing? -Oh, yeah. 123 00:09:03,254 --> 00:09:05,688 Really? That great, huh? 124 00:09:06,191 --> 00:09:10,753 No, it's just that l got this new pager and l have it on vibrate. 125 00:09:14,365 --> 00:09:15,423 See you. 126 00:09:16,101 --> 00:09:18,228 -Hey. -Hi, you guys! 127 00:09:18,403 --> 00:09:21,600 Look who l found standing outside the Szechuan Dragon... 128 00:09:21,773 --> 00:09:24,037 ...staring at a parking meter. 129 00:09:28,713 --> 00:09:32,080 -Why aren't you at work? -Oh, they sent me home. 130 00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:33,740 Why? 131 00:09:33,918 --> 00:09:36,614 Because l don't work at the Szechuan Dragon. 132 00:09:36,821 --> 00:09:40,484 -You really need to get some sleep. -l know l do. 133 00:09:42,193 --> 00:09:45,219 -Guess what? They published my paper. -Really? 134 00:09:45,396 --> 00:09:47,762 ''Statistical Deviations in the Carbon Dating... 135 00:09:47,932 --> 00:09:52,198 ...of Fossilized Algae: History or Mystery?'' 136 00:09:54,239 --> 00:09:55,866 Rach, look! 137 00:10:01,446 --> 00:10:05,405 Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me? 138 00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:11,511 There he is! 139 00:10:17,162 --> 00:10:18,151 -Wheel! -Of! 140 00:10:18,329 --> 00:10:20,160 Fortune! 141 00:10:21,232 --> 00:10:22,494 This guy's so stupid. 142 00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:24,157 lt's Count Rushmore! 143 00:10:28,406 --> 00:10:31,534 You know, you should really go on this show. 144 00:10:32,043 --> 00:10:34,739 Listen, l got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. 145 00:10:34,913 --> 00:10:38,007 -What do you say? -l say l am there! 146 00:10:38,183 --> 00:10:39,878 Cool! 147 00:10:40,385 --> 00:10:42,785 -ls Ross going too? -No. Janice. 148 00:10:42,954 --> 00:10:44,888 Janice? 149 00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:49,221 Because l just feel bad for Ross, you know? 150 00:10:49,394 --> 00:10:54,058 We always go together. We're, like, the Three Hockey-teers, you know? 151 00:10:54,599 --> 00:10:59,127 l may be way out on a limb here, but do you have a problem with Janice? 152 00:10:59,304 --> 00:11:00,828 No! 153 00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:02,733 Yes.... 154 00:11:03,508 --> 00:11:06,204 Oh, God, how do l say this? 155 00:11:09,514 --> 00:11:12,677 You know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair? 156 00:11:12,850 --> 00:11:15,944 That girl that l hate? She drives me crazy. 157 00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:21,685 Look, l don't hate Janice. She's just a lot to take, you know? 158 00:11:24,295 --> 00:11:28,698 -Well, there you go. -Come on, don't look at me like that. 159 00:11:28,866 --> 00:11:31,198 She used to drive you nuts before too, remember? 160 00:11:31,369 --> 00:11:34,736 l'm crazy about her now. l think this could be the real thing. 161 00:11:34,906 --> 00:11:36,737 Capital R, capital T! 162 00:11:38,977 --> 00:11:41,775 Don't worry, those are the right letters. 163 00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:45,543 Look, what do you want me to say? 164 00:11:46,384 --> 00:11:48,909 -l want you to say that you like her! -l can't. 165 00:11:49,087 --> 00:11:51,419 -Like her! -No. 166 00:11:51,589 --> 00:11:53,250 So you're not even gonna try? 167 00:11:53,424 --> 00:11:56,655 What's the point? lt's like this chemical thing, you know? 168 00:11:56,828 --> 00:11:59,888 Every time she starts laughing, l just wanna... 169 00:12:02,433 --> 00:12:05,596 ...pull my arm off just so l have something to throw at her. 170 00:12:07,872 --> 00:12:08,964 Thanks for trying. 171 00:12:10,742 --> 00:12:14,678 Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore! 172 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:19,080 Yeah? Then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain? 173 00:12:26,357 --> 00:12:28,154 How could you have told her? 174 00:12:28,326 --> 00:12:30,556 l didn't think it would be that big a deal! 175 00:12:30,728 --> 00:12:33,219 She didn't think it would be that big a deal! 176 00:12:33,398 --> 00:12:36,128 Who are you talking to when you do that? 177 00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:40,701 Look, that was supposed to be a private, personal thing between us. 178 00:12:40,872 --> 00:12:45,138 Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay? We tell each other everything. 179 00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:47,335 l mean, come on! Guys do the same thing. 180 00:12:47,512 --> 00:12:50,276 What about all that locker-room stuff? 181 00:12:50,448 --> 00:12:53,417 That's different. That's like, who dated a stripper? 182 00:12:53,584 --> 00:12:56,917 Or who did it on the back of the Staten lsland ferry? 183 00:12:57,855 --> 00:13:00,153 -Both of those Joey? -Yeah. 184 00:13:00,558 --> 00:13:03,823 But you don't talk about your girlfriend... 185 00:13:03,995 --> 00:13:06,987 ...and the intimate stuff you do with her. 186 00:13:07,865 --> 00:13:10,129 -Not even with your best friend? -No. 187 00:13:10,301 --> 00:13:12,394 That is so sad. 188 00:13:12,837 --> 00:13:17,706 You're missing out on so much. l mean, the bonding and the sharing... 189 00:13:17,875 --> 00:13:23,108 ...and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are. 190 00:13:23,348 --> 00:13:26,715 So, what, you tell each other everything? 191 00:13:27,585 --> 00:13:28,711 Pretty much. 192 00:13:32,223 --> 00:13:35,124 Did you talk about the night of five times? 193 00:13:38,363 --> 00:13:41,298 Do you tell people about the night of five times? 194 00:13:41,566 --> 00:13:43,761 Honey, that was with Carol. 195 00:13:43,968 --> 00:13:47,529 l know, but it's still worth mentioning, l think. 196 00:13:48,873 --> 00:13:52,900 Relax every muscle in your body. 197 00:13:54,145 --> 00:13:58,241 Listen to the plinky-plunky music. 198 00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:02,051 Okay, now close your eyes... 199 00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:05,314 ...and think of a happy place. 200 00:14:05,490 --> 00:14:07,151 Tell me your happy place. 201 00:14:07,558 --> 00:14:09,788 Richard's living room, drinking wine. 202 00:14:09,961 --> 00:14:15,194 No, no, no. Not a Richard thing. Just put down the glass and get out. 203 00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:18,300 l'm sorry, but that's my happy place. 204 00:14:18,469 --> 00:14:23,304 Okay, fine. Use my happy place. Just don't move anything in there. 205 00:14:24,742 --> 00:14:25,902 l'll try not to. 206 00:14:26,077 --> 00:14:30,104 Okay. All right, so, you're in a meadow... 207 00:14:30,281 --> 00:14:33,011 ...millions of stars in the sky-- 208 00:14:33,184 --> 00:14:35,243 You think breaking up was a mistake? 209 00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:37,820 There are no questions in the happy place. 210 00:14:38,956 --> 00:14:41,686 Okay. Just the warm breeze... 211 00:14:41,859 --> 00:14:45,420 ...and the moonlight flowing through the trees. 212 00:14:45,596 --> 00:14:47,962 l'll bet he's over me. l'll bet he's fine. 213 00:14:48,132 --> 00:14:53,263 Betting and wagering of any kind are not permitted in the happy place. 214 00:14:53,438 --> 00:14:57,135 There's just, you know, the lovely waterfalls... 215 00:14:57,308 --> 00:14:59,868 ...and the trickling fountains... 216 00:15:00,044 --> 00:15:04,674 ...and the calming sounds of the babbling brook. 217 00:15:04,849 --> 00:15:06,942 Okay, this isn't working. 218 00:15:07,118 --> 00:15:10,053 l'm still awake, and now l have to pee. 219 00:15:12,890 --> 00:15:15,051 Guess who! 220 00:15:23,634 --> 00:15:26,831 Janice. Hi. You just missed Chandler... 221 00:15:27,004 --> 00:15:29,996 ...but won't you come in before you go? 222 00:15:33,244 --> 00:15:34,472 So l hear... 223 00:15:34,645 --> 00:15:35,942 ...you hate me! 224 00:15:38,216 --> 00:15:41,617 l never said ''hate.'' l was very careful about that. 225 00:15:41,786 --> 00:15:47,088 A little birdie told me you wanted to rip your arm off and throw it at me. 226 00:15:48,659 --> 00:15:53,062 And you got ''hate'' from that? You're taking a big leap there. 227 00:15:53,231 --> 00:15:54,823 All right, fine, fine, fine! 228 00:15:54,999 --> 00:15:58,833 We have got to do something about our little situation here. 229 00:15:59,003 --> 00:16:00,664 So this is my idea. 230 00:16:00,838 --> 00:16:04,706 You and me spending some quality time together. 231 00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:08,843 -But what does that--? -For Chandler! 232 00:16:10,581 --> 00:16:11,775 Okay. l'm in. 233 00:16:11,983 --> 00:16:16,716 Okay! This is what we'll call it: Joey and Janice's Day of Fun! 234 00:16:18,823 --> 00:16:20,347 Does it have to be a whole day? 235 00:16:20,525 --> 00:16:24,825 Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me. 236 00:16:25,463 --> 00:16:28,921 Yeah, l know. l sleep in the next room. 237 00:16:34,405 --> 00:16:37,374 So do you guys all hate Janice too? 238 00:16:37,542 --> 00:16:41,410 You hate Janice now? Joey's gonna be so relieved. 239 00:16:44,215 --> 00:16:45,409 Oh, my God. 240 00:16:47,985 --> 00:16:50,385 Oh, my God. 241 00:16:50,688 --> 00:16:53,919 Well, look, everybody. lt's Weepy: 242 00:16:54,225 --> 00:16:57,388 ''The Mime that Cares Too Much.'' 243 00:16:57,995 --> 00:17:00,259 Then l went down to the post office... 244 00:17:00,431 --> 00:17:03,628 ...and it turns out it was those videos that l ordered for Richard... 245 00:17:03,801 --> 00:17:06,065 ...about the Civil War. 246 00:17:06,771 --> 00:17:08,568 He loved the Civil War. 247 00:17:10,308 --> 00:17:13,471 Monica, do you want us to take you home? 248 00:17:16,981 --> 00:17:19,449 Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. 249 00:17:27,825 --> 00:17:32,125 Women tell each other everything! Did you know that? 250 00:17:33,497 --> 00:17:35,931 No, Chandler, everything. 251 00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:39,832 Like stuff you like. Stuff she likes. 252 00:17:40,004 --> 00:17:43,235 Technique. Stamina. Girth. 253 00:17:44,675 --> 00:17:46,336 Girth? 254 00:17:47,178 --> 00:17:48,907 Why? Why? Why? Why? 255 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,877 Why would they do this? 256 00:17:52,049 --> 00:17:55,348 Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly... 257 00:17:55,519 --> 00:17:58,147 ...you know, we ought to be doing it. 258 00:17:59,690 --> 00:18:01,453 Do you wanna? 259 00:18:03,027 --> 00:18:05,791 We're not gonna talk about girth, are we? 260 00:18:06,764 --> 00:18:07,992 -Okay. -Yeah? 261 00:18:08,165 --> 00:18:10,133 All right, you go first. 262 00:18:10,301 --> 00:18:13,065 Okay. Okay, l'll go first. 263 00:18:13,237 --> 00:18:15,501 So the other night... 264 00:18:15,673 --> 00:18:19,234 ...Rachel and l are in bed talking about fantasies... 265 00:18:19,410 --> 00:18:23,369 ...and l happened to describe a particular... 266 00:18:23,881 --> 00:18:25,348 ...Star Wars thing-- 267 00:18:25,516 --> 00:18:28,349 -Princess Leia and the gold bikini. -Yes! 268 00:18:28,519 --> 00:18:30,009 l know! 269 00:18:33,357 --> 00:18:34,881 Well, that was easy. 270 00:18:35,059 --> 00:18:37,357 -Okay, you go. -Okay. 271 00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:40,896 You know when you're in bed with a woman... 272 00:18:44,468 --> 00:18:45,935 ...and fooling around... 273 00:18:46,103 --> 00:18:49,095 ...and you get all these mental images in your brain? 274 00:18:49,273 --> 00:18:52,106 Like Elle MacPherson or the girl at the Xerox place? 275 00:18:52,276 --> 00:18:55,006 -With the bellybutton ring? -l know. 276 00:18:55,379 --> 00:18:59,247 And then all of a sudden, your mom pops into your head. 277 00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:03,283 And you're like, ''Mom, get out of here!'' 278 00:19:03,454 --> 00:19:06,321 But after that, you can't think of anything else. 279 00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:11,757 And you can't stop what you're doing. So it's kind of like you're... 280 00:19:11,929 --> 00:19:13,157 ...you know... 281 00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:14,319 ...you know.... 282 00:19:14,699 --> 00:19:16,496 You don't know! 283 00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:19,696 Your mom? 284 00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:23,632 You're telling me about your mom? What is the matter with you? 285 00:19:24,575 --> 00:19:27,567 -You said-- -l said ''share,'' not ''scare'' ! 286 00:19:27,878 --> 00:19:29,812 Go sit over there! 287 00:19:35,286 --> 00:19:37,311 We're back! 288 00:19:38,756 --> 00:19:40,621 What are you guys doing together? 289 00:19:40,791 --> 00:19:45,091 Joey and Janice's Day of Fun! 290 00:19:46,597 --> 00:19:47,928 Really? 291 00:19:48,132 --> 00:19:51,295 We went to a Mets game. We got Chinese food. 292 00:19:51,469 --> 00:19:54,131 And, you know, l love this woman. 293 00:19:55,339 --> 00:19:58,001 You have got competition, buddy. 294 00:19:58,943 --> 00:20:02,572 l just came by to give you a kiss. 295 00:20:03,314 --> 00:20:08,411 l have to go pick up the baby. So l'll see you later, sweetheart. 296 00:20:08,586 --> 00:20:09,814 You too, Chandler. 297 00:20:18,662 --> 00:20:24,259 -You still can't stand her, can you? -l'm sorry, man. l tried! l really did! 298 00:20:25,970 --> 00:20:28,097 l appreciate you giving it a shot. 299 00:20:28,539 --> 00:20:30,734 But, you know, the good thing... 300 00:20:30,908 --> 00:20:34,344 ...is that we spent the whole day together and l survived. 301 00:20:34,512 --> 00:20:37,777 And what's even more amazing, so did she. 302 00:20:37,948 --> 00:20:39,711 lt was Bat Day at Shea Stadium. 303 00:20:41,986 --> 00:20:45,251 -l guess that's something. -Oh, man, that's huge! 304 00:20:45,422 --> 00:20:47,720 Now l know l can stand to be around her. 305 00:20:47,892 --> 00:20:50,759 Which means l get to hang out with you. 306 00:20:50,928 --> 00:20:53,624 Which is kind of the whole point anyway. 307 00:20:58,402 --> 00:21:02,930 Oh, hey! We stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross. 308 00:21:07,678 --> 00:21:09,771 Oh, God. 309 00:21:09,980 --> 00:21:12,574 lf it makes you feel any better, l do it too. 310 00:21:15,519 --> 00:21:17,487 -Really? -Oh, yeah! 311 00:21:17,655 --> 00:21:21,091 l always picture your mom when l'm having sex. 312 00:21:25,229 --> 00:21:27,493 April 1 2, 1 861. 313 00:21:31,569 --> 00:21:34,970 The United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon. 314 00:21:35,673 --> 00:21:37,903 It is now under bombardment by-- 315 00:21:49,153 --> 00:21:50,814 Dad! What are you doing here? 316 00:21:50,988 --> 00:21:55,652 lt's your mother's bridge night, so l came into the city for a Moni-cuddle. 317 00:21:59,296 --> 00:22:01,764 Since when did you start smoking cigars? 318 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,793 l don't. l just like the smell of them. 319 00:22:07,271 --> 00:22:10,434 So, what are you really doing here? 320 00:22:10,608 --> 00:22:13,543 l just wanted to make sure that you're okay. 321 00:22:14,311 --> 00:22:16,040 Why wouldn't l be okay? 322 00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:17,646 l saw Richard. 323 00:22:20,918 --> 00:22:22,715 So how you doing? 324 00:22:22,887 --> 00:22:24,286 l'm fine. 325 00:22:24,455 --> 00:22:27,891 l'm just a little tired, but l'm okay. 326 00:22:28,058 --> 00:22:30,754 -How's Richard doing? -You don't wanna know. 327 00:22:30,928 --> 00:22:33,761 No, l really, really do. 328 00:22:33,931 --> 00:22:36,229 Well, he's doing terrible! 329 00:22:38,502 --> 00:22:39,969 Really? 330 00:22:40,571 --> 00:22:42,937 Worse than when he broke up with Barbara. 331 00:22:44,141 --> 00:22:48,908 -You're not just saying that, are you? -No, the man is a mess! 332 00:22:49,580 --> 00:22:52,276 -Was he crying? -No. 333 00:22:52,449 --> 00:22:56,180 Do you think he was waiting till after you left, so he could cry? 334 00:22:56,353 --> 00:22:57,911 Maybe. 335 00:22:59,456 --> 00:23:01,014 l think so. 336 00:23:01,191 --> 00:23:04,558 Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your mom and me. 337 00:23:04,728 --> 00:23:08,528 You know, after we graduated from college, we broke up for a while. 338 00:23:08,699 --> 00:23:11,190 lt seems her father, your grandfather... 339 00:23:11,368 --> 00:23:14,030 ...wanted her to travel around Europe like he did. 340 00:23:14,204 --> 00:23:17,037 Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel... 341 00:23:17,207 --> 00:23:21,303 ...because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. 342 00:23:21,478 --> 00:23:22,467 However.... 343 00:24:04,555 --> 00:24:06,250 Okay, here we go. 344 00:24:06,457 --> 00:24:09,392 l am Jabba's prisoner. And you... 345 00:24:10,260 --> 00:24:12,751 ...have a really weird look on your face. 346 00:24:12,963 --> 00:24:16,296 What? Honey, what is it? Did l get the hair wrong? 347 00:24:16,467 --> 00:24:18,992 Did you just picture it differently? What? 348 00:24:19,169 --> 00:24:22,468 No, no. lt's not you. lt's.... 349 00:24:27,444 --> 00:24:31,540 What is it? Come on, sweetie. You're, like, freaking me out here. 350 00:24:34,118 --> 00:24:36,814 l hate Chandler. The bastard ruined my life! 351 00:24:39,623 --> 00:24:40,612 [ENGLlSH]