1 00:00:02,948 --> 00:00:04,745 Thank you guys for having us over. 2 00:00:04,917 --> 00:00:08,444 - Yeah, this is fun, couples night. - I don't know why we don't hang out... 3 00:00:08,620 --> 00:00:11,748 - ...with married couples more often. - Because every time we do... 4 00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:15,087 ...you make jokes about swinging and scare them away. 5 00:00:16,261 --> 00:00:20,095 You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. 6 00:00:22,167 --> 00:00:24,795 Hey, you guys, I have great news. 7 00:00:24,970 --> 00:00:30,033 - We're kind of in the middle of dinner. - Oh, well, I already ate, but sure. 8 00:00:31,977 --> 00:00:33,569 Guess what happened at work today. 9 00:00:33,745 --> 00:00:36,339 A dinosaur died a million years ago? 10 00:00:36,515 --> 00:00:40,508 Try 65 million years ago. And then try: 11 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:47,080 My tenure review board met today, and I hear it's looking really good. 12 00:00:47,526 --> 00:00:50,552 Yeah, do you have any idea what this means in academic circles? 13 00:00:50,729 --> 00:00:52,993 I am gonna get laid. 14 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:57,261 - Hi, you guys. - Hey. 15 00:00:57,436 --> 00:00:58,698 Oh, ltalian. 16 00:00:59,137 --> 00:01:01,435 No one-- No one wanted seconds, right? 17 00:01:01,607 --> 00:01:02,972 No, I'm good. 18 00:01:03,675 --> 00:01:06,701 Guys, you're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. 19 00:01:06,878 --> 00:01:10,814 I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me. 20 00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:13,281 - I'm up for tenure. - Congratulations. 21 00:01:13,452 --> 00:01:15,977 You too. What are the odds? 22 00:01:16,154 --> 00:01:17,712 Guess what? 23 00:01:18,423 --> 00:01:21,859 I finally got that seed out of my teeth. 24 00:01:23,662 --> 00:01:25,289 I don't know who I'm happiest for. 25 00:01:25,464 --> 00:01:28,160 I do. He's been working on that all day. 26 00:02:19,317 --> 00:02:23,219 Hey, Mon, was it weird changing your name to Geller Bing? 27 00:02:23,388 --> 00:02:27,119 No. No, it felt nice to acknowledge this. 28 00:02:27,292 --> 00:02:29,954 - Where'd you go to do it? - The-- 29 00:02:30,128 --> 00:02:32,961 The Ministry of Names... 30 00:02:34,633 --> 00:02:35,861 ...Bureau. 31 00:02:36,668 --> 00:02:37,999 You never did it. 32 00:02:38,170 --> 00:02:40,638 I'm sorry. It's just the idea of-- 33 00:02:40,806 --> 00:02:43,366 Of being an official Bing. 34 00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:47,640 Hey, I will have you know that-- 35 00:02:47,813 --> 00:02:51,806 Who am I kidding? Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me. 36 00:02:53,719 --> 00:02:54,743 - Here you go. - Thanks. 37 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:57,081 Honey, would you want me to take your name? 38 00:02:57,255 --> 00:03:00,418 Oh, it's up to you. It's your name. You've gotta live with it. 39 00:03:00,592 --> 00:03:03,857 - Let's see. Call me Mrs. Hannigan. - Mrs. Hannigan? 40 00:03:04,029 --> 00:03:06,361 Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? 41 00:03:08,133 --> 00:03:09,623 I like it. 42 00:03:10,736 --> 00:03:12,363 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Joe. 43 00:03:12,537 --> 00:03:15,631 We got things to check out at the new house. You want to come? 44 00:03:15,807 --> 00:03:18,605 - No, thank you. - You're not happy about us moving... 45 00:03:18,777 --> 00:03:21,177 ...but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house. 46 00:03:21,346 --> 00:03:23,541 Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is. 47 00:03:23,715 --> 00:03:26,650 No, it's not close. You said it was in escrow. 48 00:03:26,818 --> 00:03:28,911 I couldn't even find that on the map. 49 00:03:32,557 --> 00:03:35,822 No, Joey. Escrow is.... 50 00:03:39,197 --> 00:03:41,222 There's money, and.... 51 00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:44,398 It's not the bank exactly. 52 00:03:44,569 --> 00:03:46,230 I don't know what it is. 53 00:03:47,405 --> 00:03:50,636 Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us. 54 00:03:52,811 --> 00:03:55,678 You know what? You are my friends. I want to be supportive. 55 00:03:55,847 --> 00:03:57,212 I will come with you. Shotgun. 56 00:03:57,382 --> 00:03:58,940 Damn it. 57 00:03:59,117 --> 00:04:01,142 See you guys later. We'll pick you up at 11. 58 00:04:01,319 --> 00:04:03,287 - So glad you're coming. - All right. 59 00:04:04,189 --> 00:04:08,250 - Good for you. That was really mature. - What? The only reason I'm going... 60 00:04:08,426 --> 00:04:11,554 ...to their stupid house is to point out everything wrong with it... 61 00:04:11,730 --> 00:04:14,130 ...so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here. 62 00:04:14,299 --> 00:04:16,961 You're a strange kind of grownup. 63 00:04:18,837 --> 00:04:21,965 Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. 64 00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:26,543 Believe me. There's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed, and-- 65 00:04:27,813 --> 00:04:31,078 - Can we not talk about that now? - All right. Prude. 66 00:04:33,652 --> 00:04:36,177 Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. 67 00:04:36,354 --> 00:04:38,447 You are not gonna talk them into staying here. 68 00:04:38,623 --> 00:04:41,217 Hey, I can convince people to do anything, you know? 69 00:04:41,393 --> 00:04:44,624 I bet I could even get Mike to do that thing. What is it? 70 00:04:47,732 --> 00:04:50,633 I am not gonna help you do that! 71 00:04:50,802 --> 00:04:52,633 Oh, my God. 72 00:04:59,077 --> 00:05:03,104 Hi. I'm here to see Mr. Campbell, with Gucci. 73 00:05:03,281 --> 00:05:06,216 The reservation's probably under Gucci. 74 00:05:06,384 --> 00:05:09,444 It's spelled like "gucky," which can be confusing. 75 00:05:10,455 --> 00:05:14,221 Mr. Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table. 76 00:05:17,896 --> 00:05:21,059 Oh, my God. That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else. 77 00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:23,565 I'm sorry, that's always Mr. Campbell's table. 78 00:05:23,735 --> 00:05:27,637 But my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job. 79 00:05:27,806 --> 00:05:29,933 I know. With "gucky." 80 00:05:32,711 --> 00:05:36,408 - Rachel? - I'm on a date. 81 00:05:37,148 --> 00:05:38,945 That's great. 82 00:05:39,117 --> 00:05:42,746 Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom. Career. 83 00:05:42,921 --> 00:05:45,481 You gotta get out there. 84 00:05:45,657 --> 00:05:49,286 Well, you've got a good energy. 85 00:05:49,461 --> 00:05:50,758 - Rachel? - Yes, hi. 86 00:05:50,929 --> 00:05:52,396 - James Campbell. - Hi. 87 00:05:52,564 --> 00:05:55,055 - Excuse us. - Please. 88 00:05:57,602 --> 00:05:59,263 He's cute. 89 00:06:01,373 --> 00:06:05,207 Thank you, JewHunks.com, huh? 90 00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:08,076 So... 91 00:06:08,246 --> 00:06:10,612 ...your résumé is quite impressive. 92 00:06:13,418 --> 00:06:14,942 My résumé? 93 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:20,422 I wouldn't-- I wouldn't call my online dating profile a résumé. 94 00:06:20,592 --> 00:06:23,959 Dating profile? No, I'm-- I'm talking about the work résumé. 95 00:06:27,832 --> 00:06:31,324 Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? 96 00:06:32,637 --> 00:06:35,333 Maybe people found it weird. 97 00:06:37,242 --> 00:06:38,937 So.... 98 00:06:39,611 --> 00:06:42,671 - Why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren? - What? 99 00:06:42,847 --> 00:06:44,371 - I don't. - You don't? 100 00:06:44,549 --> 00:06:46,312 No, I love-- I love it there. 101 00:06:46,484 --> 00:06:49,681 Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch? 102 00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:54,053 What? 103 00:06:56,094 --> 00:06:57,425 That's Hugo Boss? 104 00:07:03,101 --> 00:07:06,867 I believe what she's trying to tell you is that I'm her boss. 105 00:07:07,572 --> 00:07:09,335 Mr. Boss... 106 00:07:09,674 --> 00:07:11,801 ...it is a pleasure to meet you. 107 00:07:22,654 --> 00:07:26,522 This place is so depressing. If I had to work here, I'd kill myself. 108 00:07:29,928 --> 00:07:32,055 But you obviously haven't. 109 00:07:33,631 --> 00:07:36,464 - How can I help you? - I need to change my name, please. 110 00:07:36,634 --> 00:07:40,161 See, I need to change it because I'm hiding from the law. 111 00:07:42,741 --> 00:07:44,208 You're fun. 112 00:07:44,809 --> 00:07:47,676 - You need to fill out this form. - Okay. Well, just so I know-- 113 00:07:47,846 --> 00:07:50,144 I don't know how it works. My name is Buffay... 114 00:07:50,315 --> 00:07:52,044 ...and my husband's name is Hannigan. 115 00:07:52,217 --> 00:07:55,152 So is it supposed to be "Buffay-Hannigan" or "Hannigan-Buffay"? 116 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,982 - It can be anything you want. - Well, not anything. 117 00:07:58,156 --> 00:08:00,624 Yeah. Anything. 118 00:08:01,826 --> 00:08:04,488 Oh, this could take a while. 119 00:08:05,897 --> 00:08:08,365 - Get out of my line. - Okay. 120 00:08:12,771 --> 00:08:14,329 - Hey. - Hey, Pheebs. 121 00:08:14,506 --> 00:08:17,031 Oh, not anymore. I changed it today. 122 00:08:17,208 --> 00:08:20,735 - Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan. - Wrong again. 123 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,807 Apparently, you can change it to anything. 124 00:08:24,983 --> 00:08:28,043 So I thought, "All right, here's an opportunity to be creative." 125 00:08:28,219 --> 00:08:31,882 So meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock. 126 00:08:38,863 --> 00:08:40,660 That's what we were gonna name the baby. 127 00:08:43,435 --> 00:08:46,768 - Phoebe. - Princess Consuela. 128 00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:49,634 You seriously changed your name to that? 129 00:08:49,808 --> 00:08:53,039 Okay, so from now on, we have to call you Princess Consuela? 130 00:08:53,211 --> 00:08:56,374 No, I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie. 131 00:09:00,485 --> 00:09:03,943 - Hey, how did the interview go? - Not good. 132 00:09:04,122 --> 00:09:08,218 I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think. 133 00:09:08,393 --> 00:09:13,160 Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren. 134 00:09:13,331 --> 00:09:15,595 That is a bad interview. 135 00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:18,292 What are you talking about? How did this happen? 136 00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:22,600 My boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview... 137 00:09:22,774 --> 00:09:24,105 ...and he heard everything. 138 00:09:24,275 --> 00:09:28,006 Later, he calls me into his office and tells me he'll have to let me go... 139 00:09:28,179 --> 00:09:29,806 ...because I'm not a team player. 140 00:09:29,981 --> 00:09:31,949 And I said, "Wait a minute. Yes, I am." 141 00:09:32,117 --> 00:09:34,779 And then I had to sit there for 45 minutes... 142 00:09:34,953 --> 00:09:39,322 ...while he proved that that, in fact, was true. 143 00:09:40,758 --> 00:09:42,282 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 144 00:09:43,995 --> 00:09:45,292 Hey. 145 00:09:45,463 --> 00:09:48,626 What--? What's this? 146 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,634 Why, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here? 147 00:09:52,804 --> 00:09:54,738 - Ross. - I guess it's here... 148 00:09:54,906 --> 00:09:56,339 ...because I got tenure! 149 00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:58,408 - Congratulations. - Congratulations. 150 00:09:58,576 --> 00:10:01,841 This is the single greatest day of my professional career. 151 00:10:02,013 --> 00:10:04,140 - Gunther. Six glasses. - Six? 152 00:10:04,315 --> 00:10:07,876 - You want me to join you? - I thought Joey was here. Five is good. 153 00:10:11,623 --> 00:10:14,524 Wow, I'm gonna have a loogey in my coffee tomorrow. 154 00:10:17,862 --> 00:10:20,160 - Okay, I'll tell him. - No. No, nobody tell him. 155 00:10:20,331 --> 00:10:23,198 This is a big night for him. I don't wanna spoil it. 156 00:10:23,368 --> 00:10:24,960 - Are you sure? - Yeah. I'll be fine. 157 00:10:25,136 --> 00:10:28,663 Okay. Everybody take one, okay? 158 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,470 Israeli champagne. 159 00:10:31,643 --> 00:10:33,907 And it's vanilla. 160 00:10:34,345 --> 00:10:37,178 I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery. 161 00:10:38,049 --> 00:10:40,449 Hey, Rach, so how did your thing go? 162 00:10:40,618 --> 00:10:43,644 Good. But I won't hear about that for a couple days. 163 00:10:43,821 --> 00:10:46,881 Oh, you know what, you're gonna get it. I can feel it. 164 00:10:47,058 --> 00:10:48,753 Can you? 165 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,191 All right, everybody, here's to Ross. 166 00:10:51,362 --> 00:10:55,992 And to years of hard work finally paying off. 167 00:10:56,167 --> 00:11:00,001 And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. 168 00:11:00,638 --> 00:11:04,005 But also knowing it means a lot. 169 00:11:05,176 --> 00:11:07,701 But more importantly, to full, well-rounded lives. 170 00:11:07,879 --> 00:11:09,642 That center around work. 171 00:11:09,814 --> 00:11:11,805 - To Ross. - To Ross. 172 00:11:16,087 --> 00:11:19,352 You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired. 173 00:11:19,524 --> 00:11:20,923 - Oh, God. - No, seriously. 174 00:11:21,092 --> 00:11:23,617 I have job security for life. 175 00:11:23,795 --> 00:11:25,956 You know? I mean, I never have to worry. 176 00:11:26,464 --> 00:11:29,524 Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me. 177 00:11:32,303 --> 00:11:35,670 No, it's not that. I got fired today. 178 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,865 And I didn't get the other job. 179 00:11:41,546 --> 00:11:44,140 Rach, I'm so sorry. 180 00:11:44,816 --> 00:11:48,377 - Great, I feel like an idiot. - No, it's okay. You didn't know. 181 00:11:50,154 --> 00:11:51,815 Little heads-up would've been nice. 182 00:12:00,698 --> 00:12:02,723 Thank you for letting us see the house again. 183 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:05,391 And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means. 184 00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:08,664 I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you. 185 00:12:09,073 --> 00:12:12,133 Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through. 186 00:12:14,846 --> 00:12:18,111 - So glad you decided to come. - Me too. Yeah, this place is great. 187 00:12:18,283 --> 00:12:22,310 So happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus. 188 00:12:24,422 --> 00:12:25,889 - What? - Fungus. 189 00:12:26,057 --> 00:12:27,615 Yeah. Place is full of it. 190 00:12:28,293 --> 00:12:31,387 No, it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything. 191 00:12:31,562 --> 00:12:35,123 Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason. 192 00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:38,326 Maybe it's because you hung your head out the window like a dog... 193 00:12:38,503 --> 00:12:40,596 ...the whole ride here. 194 00:12:41,939 --> 00:12:43,463 Maybe. 195 00:12:43,641 --> 00:12:47,441 So this is the living room, huh? It's pretty dark. 196 00:12:51,649 --> 00:12:53,708 - No, it's not. - Are you kidding? 197 00:12:53,885 --> 00:12:56,445 I think I just saw a bat in the corner. 198 00:12:57,255 --> 00:13:01,453 When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it? 199 00:13:03,027 --> 00:13:04,085 Maybe. 200 00:13:05,530 --> 00:13:08,693 Look, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? 201 00:13:08,866 --> 00:13:10,891 Or any other house for that matter. 202 00:13:11,069 --> 00:13:12,434 Oh, Joey. 203 00:13:12,603 --> 00:13:15,071 We know you're having a hard time with this, but we-- 204 00:13:15,239 --> 00:13:17,901 - We love it here. - Fine! If you love this house so much... 205 00:13:18,076 --> 00:13:22,342 ...you should live here. Okay? I hope you get used to that weird humming sound. 206 00:13:24,048 --> 00:13:26,710 - Joey, we know that's you. - No... 207 00:13:26,884 --> 00:13:28,681 ...it's not. 208 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:36,220 - Welcome back. - I missed you. 209 00:13:36,394 --> 00:13:38,225 - Oh, me too. - So, what's new? 210 00:13:38,396 --> 00:13:40,864 Well, I am no longer Phoebe Buffay. 211 00:13:41,032 --> 00:13:43,523 - That's great. You changed your name? - Yes, I did. 212 00:13:43,701 --> 00:13:47,797 Meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock. 213 00:13:49,474 --> 00:13:51,465 - You're kidding, right? - Nope. 214 00:13:51,642 --> 00:13:53,837 - You really did that? - Yep. 215 00:13:54,011 --> 00:13:56,206 You can't do that. 216 00:13:56,381 --> 00:13:57,575 Why? 217 00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:01,014 Why? It's fun. It's different. No one else has a name like it. 218 00:14:02,787 --> 00:14:04,277 Then I'm gonna change my name. 219 00:14:04,455 --> 00:14:06,685 Great. Okay, what are you gonna change it to? 220 00:14:07,392 --> 00:14:08,757 Crap Bag. 221 00:14:10,495 --> 00:14:14,295 - Mike Crap Bag? - No. No "Mike." No, just "Crap Bag." 222 00:14:14,465 --> 00:14:17,263 First name: Crap. Last name: Bag. 223 00:14:17,969 --> 00:14:20,335 - You're not serious, right? - Yeah, I'm serious. 224 00:14:20,505 --> 00:14:23,531 It's fun, it's different, and no one else has a name like that. 225 00:14:23,941 --> 00:14:27,604 Well, then great. If you love it, I love it. 226 00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,839 I do love it. And I love your name. I love Princess Consuela. 227 00:14:31,015 --> 00:14:33,279 And I love Crap. 228 00:14:42,627 --> 00:14:45,562 - Who are you? - Oh, hi. I'm Joey. 229 00:14:45,730 --> 00:14:48,563 My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you? 230 00:14:48,733 --> 00:14:52,601 I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house. 231 00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:56,535 I hate my parents. 232 00:14:56,707 --> 00:14:59,039 I hate my friends. 233 00:15:01,879 --> 00:15:05,212 Look, there's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening. 234 00:15:05,383 --> 00:15:06,975 Like what? 235 00:15:09,187 --> 00:15:12,953 Okay, you come with me and you tell them that the house is haunted. 236 00:15:13,124 --> 00:15:15,217 What are you, 8? 237 00:15:18,496 --> 00:15:22,057 - Okay. Let's hear your great idea. - I don't have any great ideas. 238 00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:24,224 I am 8. 239 00:15:26,637 --> 00:15:28,605 There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know... 240 00:15:28,773 --> 00:15:32,038 ...if Monica and Chandler move here, and Phoebe's married to Mike... 241 00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:35,873 ...that just leaves me and Ross and Rach. You know what I mean? 242 00:15:36,547 --> 00:15:38,014 I really don't. 243 00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:42,481 What am I gonna do? I feel like I'm losing my friends. 244 00:15:42,653 --> 00:15:46,111 - My parents say I'll make new friends. - Yeah, sure, easy for you. 245 00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:48,815 You're young. Me? I'm set in my ways. 246 00:15:50,895 --> 00:15:54,592 This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. 247 00:15:58,035 --> 00:16:01,027 Look, you want your friends to be happy, right? 248 00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:04,740 Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. 249 00:16:04,909 --> 00:16:09,175 Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it? 250 00:16:09,747 --> 00:16:12,307 Yeah. Maybe. 251 00:16:13,551 --> 00:16:15,542 Then you've gotta let them go. 252 00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:23,258 Oh, I hate to admit it, but you're-- 253 00:16:23,427 --> 00:16:25,588 You're probably right. 254 00:16:26,297 --> 00:16:27,992 How'd you get to be so smart? 255 00:16:29,267 --> 00:16:30,359 I read a lot. 256 00:16:32,203 --> 00:16:34,364 Just when I thought we could be friends. 257 00:16:38,409 --> 00:16:41,378 Oh, hey, Rach. I just heard. I'm so sorry. 258 00:16:41,546 --> 00:16:43,343 Oh, thank you.... 259 00:16:44,148 --> 00:16:46,639 You still don't know my name, do you? 260 00:16:47,418 --> 00:16:49,352 Well, now I don't have to. 261 00:16:53,491 --> 00:16:56,756 Ross, what is taking you so long? 262 00:17:04,335 --> 00:17:08,772 I'm sorry. It's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway. 263 00:17:11,609 --> 00:17:13,076 Rachel? 264 00:17:13,544 --> 00:17:16,377 Mark? Oh, my God. 265 00:17:16,547 --> 00:17:20,210 - How have you been? - Fantastic. You remember Ross. 266 00:17:20,384 --> 00:17:22,579 Sure. Sure. 267 00:17:22,753 --> 00:17:24,015 What's with the chair? 268 00:17:26,324 --> 00:17:30,226 You know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so.... 269 00:17:31,495 --> 00:17:33,292 Clever. 270 00:17:33,464 --> 00:17:35,329 So how are you? 271 00:17:35,499 --> 00:17:37,490 You're not catching me on my best day. 272 00:17:37,668 --> 00:17:40,762 Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't say "big promotion." 273 00:17:40,938 --> 00:17:44,601 No, but it's good. You know, I'm gonna take some time off... 274 00:17:44,775 --> 00:17:46,675 - ...and do charity work. - Are you sure? 275 00:17:46,844 --> 00:17:48,675 We may have something at Louis Vuitton. 276 00:17:48,846 --> 00:17:51,337 Screw charity work. What do you got? 277 00:17:51,515 --> 00:17:53,380 Why don't we have dinner and talk? 278 00:17:53,851 --> 00:17:56,479 - Great. I'll call you. - Okay. 279 00:17:56,654 --> 00:17:59,214 - Nice to see you again. - Yeah. Yeah. I got tenure. 280 00:18:06,063 --> 00:18:07,052 Oh, my God. 281 00:18:07,231 --> 00:18:09,665 See? I told you something good would come along. 282 00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:12,769 And he seemed really nice. I've met him before? 283 00:18:12,937 --> 00:18:15,064 Ross, that's Mark. 284 00:18:15,239 --> 00:18:18,970 From Bloomingdale's? You were insanely jealous of him. 285 00:18:19,143 --> 00:18:21,008 - That is Mark? - Yes. 286 00:18:21,178 --> 00:18:22,611 I hate that guy. 287 00:18:23,881 --> 00:18:26,406 No, no, no. You cannot go to dinner with him. 288 00:18:26,584 --> 00:18:30,281 - What? You don't want me to get a job? - Yeah, I'm sure he'll give you a job. 289 00:18:30,454 --> 00:18:32,388 Maybe make you his "sex-cretary." 290 00:18:33,591 --> 00:18:35,991 I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay? 291 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:40,153 You know what--? Okay, let's talk about it later. There comes security. 292 00:18:51,342 --> 00:18:52,969 Oh, I love this street. 293 00:18:53,144 --> 00:18:57,808 The trees and the big front yards and the actual picket fences. 294 00:18:57,982 --> 00:19:00,644 Man, those two dogs are going at it. 295 00:19:04,588 --> 00:19:07,853 - Hey. Where you been? - Oh, just, you know, looking around. 296 00:19:08,025 --> 00:19:09,549 But you know what? 297 00:19:09,727 --> 00:19:11,854 This house is great. 298 00:19:12,029 --> 00:19:13,826 Really? What changed your mind? 299 00:19:13,998 --> 00:19:17,729 The little girl who lives here made me feel better about the whole thing. 300 00:19:18,369 --> 00:19:22,567 Joey? There was a little girl who lived here, but she died, like, 30 years ago. 301 00:19:28,045 --> 00:19:29,512 What? 302 00:19:30,247 --> 00:19:32,647 I'm just messing with you. 303 00:19:33,617 --> 00:19:37,280 That's not funny. You know I'm afraid of little-girl ghosts. 304 00:19:37,621 --> 00:19:41,022 Now that you're okay with the house, do you want to go see your room? 305 00:19:41,959 --> 00:19:43,085 What? 306 00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:44,522 I get my own room? 307 00:19:45,563 --> 00:19:48,657 You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room, do you? 308 00:19:49,633 --> 00:19:51,328 Oh, my God. 309 00:19:54,305 --> 00:19:57,706 Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing? 310 00:19:59,443 --> 00:20:03,140 - No. - Why not? I'll keep the tank clean. 311 00:20:06,183 --> 00:20:08,083 After you, Ms. Bananahammock. 312 00:20:08,252 --> 00:20:09,719 Thank you, Mr. Bag. 313 00:20:12,089 --> 00:20:13,716 - Oh, hi, Rita. - How are you? 314 00:20:13,891 --> 00:20:16,121 Good. Oh, Rita's a massage client. 315 00:20:16,293 --> 00:20:17,692 Yeah. 316 00:20:17,862 --> 00:20:19,762 Why don't you introduce me? 317 00:20:22,366 --> 00:20:24,459 Rita, this is my husband. 318 00:20:25,069 --> 00:20:27,401 Why don't you tell her my name? 319 00:20:28,172 --> 00:20:33,109 Okay, I will. This is-- This is my husband, Crap Bag. 320 00:20:35,079 --> 00:20:36,171 Crap Bag? 321 00:20:36,347 --> 00:20:40,511 If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap. 322 00:20:43,087 --> 00:20:46,682 - Okay. Excuse me. - Yeah. 323 00:20:48,926 --> 00:20:52,885 Okay, fine, you made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again? 324 00:20:53,063 --> 00:20:54,621 Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay. 325 00:20:56,267 --> 00:20:59,202 How about--? How about Buffay-Hannigan? 326 00:20:59,370 --> 00:21:00,359 Really? 327 00:21:00,538 --> 00:21:04,304 Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock. 328 00:21:06,544 --> 00:21:08,569 Do you even know what a banana hammock is? 329 00:21:08,946 --> 00:21:10,573 It's a funny word. 330 00:21:10,748 --> 00:21:12,443 It's a Speedo. 331 00:21:16,787 --> 00:21:18,254 Oh, crap. 332 00:21:24,962 --> 00:21:27,089 - What are you thinking about? - Oh, you know. 333 00:21:27,264 --> 00:21:28,731 The two dogs. 334 00:21:33,137 --> 00:21:35,697 - Hey, is Rachel here? - Nope. 335 00:21:35,873 --> 00:21:37,568 She's still at dinner? 336 00:21:37,741 --> 00:21:40,301 - I guess. Why, who's she with? - That guy, Mark... 337 00:21:40,477 --> 00:21:43,537 ...from Bloomingdale's. She thinks he's just being nice to her. 338 00:21:43,714 --> 00:21:45,739 But I know he really wants to sleep with her. 339 00:21:45,916 --> 00:21:48,180 It's seven years ago. 340 00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,250 My time machine works. 341 00:21:53,757 --> 00:21:57,420 We ran into him on the street today, and he said he might have a job for her. 342 00:21:57,595 --> 00:22:00,223 But I know he just wants to get into her pants. 343 00:22:01,098 --> 00:22:05,296 So, what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single, and he's cute. 344 00:22:05,469 --> 00:22:06,868 Excuse me? 345 00:22:07,538 --> 00:22:08,800 Oh, please. 346 00:22:08,973 --> 00:22:11,441 Yesterday, on the subway, you couldn't stop staring... 347 00:22:11,609 --> 00:22:13,474 ...at that woman with the big breasts. 348 00:22:13,644 --> 00:22:16,511 For your information, I was staring at her baby. 349 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,511 We're about to be parents. 350 00:22:19,350 --> 00:22:21,318 Oh, sorry. 351 00:22:31,428 --> 00:22:34,454 - Hi, you guys. - Hi. So... 352 00:22:34,632 --> 00:22:38,193 - ...how was dinner? - Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet. 353 00:22:38,369 --> 00:22:42,032 Oh, yeah? Yeah, I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want? 354 00:22:42,206 --> 00:22:47,473 Oh, Ross. Come on. He is happily married. His wife just had twins. 355 00:22:48,245 --> 00:22:49,769 Should we send something? 356 00:22:51,248 --> 00:22:52,909 How did the job stuff go? 357 00:22:54,151 --> 00:22:55,448 He offered me one. 358 00:22:56,787 --> 00:22:58,880 - That's great. - Congratulations. 359 00:22:59,056 --> 00:23:00,887 I know, it's amazing. 360 00:23:01,058 --> 00:23:05,085 It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. 361 00:23:05,262 --> 00:23:07,594 - The money is great. - Can we--? 362 00:23:07,765 --> 00:23:12,225 Can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along? 363 00:23:12,403 --> 00:23:15,895 You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. 364 00:23:16,073 --> 00:23:19,133 You know what? This calls for a bottle of lsrael's finest. 365 00:23:23,380 --> 00:23:25,814 The job is in Paris. 366 00:23:38,195 --> 00:23:41,130 I mean, this soap opera is a great gig... 367 00:23:41,298 --> 00:23:43,129 ...but am I missing opportunities? 368 00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:46,167 You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. 369 00:23:46,337 --> 00:23:48,862 Should I be trying to do more independent movies? 370 00:23:49,239 --> 00:23:51,332 I don't know. 371 00:23:52,242 --> 00:23:55,336 But you know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. 372 00:23:55,512 --> 00:23:57,207 Hold on. 373 00:23:58,349 --> 00:23:59,941 Hey, Bailey, I need some career advice.