1
00:00:05,517 --> 00:00:08,247
Girls in my magazines are
a lot nakeder.
2
00:00:10,689 --> 00:00:12,884
Oh, hey, Joey.
3
00:00:13,325 --> 00:00:15,919
- Hey.
- Listen, I need to ask you something.
4
00:00:16,094 --> 00:00:18,028
You know how my stepdad's in prison?
5
00:00:18,196 --> 00:00:20,221
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
6
00:00:20,399 --> 00:00:24,733
He was supposed to get a weekend
furlough so he could go to the wedding.
7
00:00:24,903 --> 00:00:26,962
But he just called and....
8
00:00:27,139 --> 00:00:32,042
Well, apparently stabbing lceman in the
exercise yard couldn't wait till Monday.
9
00:00:32,711 --> 00:00:34,645
- So he can't come?
- No.
10
00:00:34,813 --> 00:00:37,907
And so there's no one to
walk me down the aisle. And....
11
00:00:38,817 --> 00:00:41,547
Well, I would just really love it
if you would do it.
12
00:00:42,821 --> 00:00:44,220
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
13
00:00:44,389 --> 00:00:47,119
You've, you know,
sort of been like a dad to me.
14
00:00:48,794 --> 00:00:52,355
You've always, you know, looked out
for me and shared your wisdom.
15
00:00:55,133 --> 00:00:57,328
I am pretty "wisdomous."
16
00:00:58,837 --> 00:01:00,828
So, what do you say?
17
00:01:01,006 --> 00:01:05,272
Are you kidding?
Phoebe, I would be honored.
18
00:01:05,444 --> 00:01:07,708
Oh, thank you.
19
00:01:09,247 --> 00:01:10,612
I hope....
20
00:01:11,783 --> 00:01:14,411
I hope you know how much
you mean to me.
21
00:01:14,786 --> 00:01:17,311
Listen, I hope....
22
00:01:17,489 --> 00:01:19,480
I hope that you know....
23
00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:25,352
I don't want you to see your father cry.
Go to your room!
24
00:02:16,014 --> 00:02:19,040
Oh, no, no, no. Let your dad get this.
25
00:02:23,622 --> 00:02:26,716
It's my wedding planner.
She's driving me crazy!
26
00:02:26,892 --> 00:02:31,591
Hello? Okay, stop screaming!
27
00:02:31,763 --> 00:02:34,391
Okay, so halibut.
28
00:02:34,566 --> 00:02:37,228
All right, so salmon.
Either way. I don't--
29
00:02:37,402 --> 00:02:40,132
- It doesn't matter to me.
- Well, it matters to me!
30
00:02:42,274 --> 00:02:45,175
Well, I don't care. So you pick.
31
00:02:45,343 --> 00:02:47,436
Did you just hang up on me?
32
00:02:48,714 --> 00:02:52,115
All right, look, I need you at the
rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
33
00:02:52,284 --> 00:02:54,411
Okay. What time is that?
34
00:02:56,054 --> 00:02:57,578
You don't know military time?
35
00:02:57,756 --> 00:03:00,953
I must have been in missile training
the day they taught that.
36
00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:03,693
Just subtract 12.
37
00:03:03,862 --> 00:03:06,456
Okay, so 1800 minus 12...
38
00:03:06,631 --> 00:03:09,065
...is 1788.
39
00:03:09,234 --> 00:03:10,633
- Six o'clock!
- Okay.
40
00:03:10,802 --> 00:03:13,202
Hold on. Yeah? Geller here.
41
00:03:13,939 --> 00:03:18,399
No, I said it has to be there
by 4:00. Goodbye.
42
00:03:18,577 --> 00:03:20,670
How hard is it to make an ice sculpture?
43
00:03:20,846 --> 00:03:22,438
Harder than it looks.
44
00:03:23,348 --> 00:03:25,680
Wait. Ice sculpture?
That sounds really fancy.
45
00:03:25,851 --> 00:03:28,217
I told you, I just want a simple wedding.
46
00:03:28,386 --> 00:03:31,082
Please, honey, leave the details to me.
47
00:03:31,256 --> 00:03:33,952
Now, I wanna make this day
as special for you as I can.
48
00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:36,356
I was thinking the harpist
should wear white.
49
00:03:36,528 --> 00:03:39,827
Harpist? My friend Marjorie
is playing the steel drums.
50
00:03:39,998 --> 00:03:42,796
- Oh, she backed out.
- She did? Why?
51
00:03:42,968 --> 00:03:44,833
I made her.
52
00:03:45,003 --> 00:03:47,369
Steel drums don't really say
"elegant wedding."
53
00:03:47,539 --> 00:03:50,997
- Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.
- Hey!
54
00:03:51,176 --> 00:03:54,077
She will shower when Tibet is free.
55
00:04:02,521 --> 00:04:06,389
- Hey. You look great.
- You too.
56
00:04:06,558 --> 00:04:11,689
I'm glad we're having a rehearsal dinner.
I rarely practice my meals before I eat.
57
00:04:12,464 --> 00:04:14,796
What did we say
was your one gift to us?
58
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,458
No stupid jokes, but I thought
that was for the actual wedding.
59
00:04:18,670 --> 00:04:20,467
Rehearse it.
60
00:04:21,139 --> 00:04:22,572
Hi.
61
00:04:22,741 --> 00:04:24,936
- Thanks for coming, you guys.
- Oh, yeah--
62
00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:28,669
I was....
I was going for a handshake.
63
00:04:28,847 --> 00:04:30,678
That why your hand's
against my crotch?
64
00:04:30,849 --> 00:04:32,874
- That is why.
- Yeah.
65
00:04:34,686 --> 00:04:36,244
So, Rach, where's Emma?
66
00:04:36,421 --> 00:04:38,116
Monica made me send her
to my mom's.
67
00:04:38,290 --> 00:04:41,418
Apparently, babies and weddings
don't mix.
68
00:04:41,593 --> 00:04:44,528
Are you still crying about
your damn baby?
69
00:04:45,564 --> 00:04:49,159
Pheebs, you got to keep the line moving.
Remember, 20 seconds per person.
70
00:04:49,334 --> 00:04:51,097
You see these clowns all the time.
71
00:04:52,737 --> 00:04:55,001
You must give me the name
of your wedding planner.
72
00:04:55,173 --> 00:04:56,765
I wanna throw a really tense party.
73
00:04:59,010 --> 00:05:02,673
- Hey, you're Mike's parents, right?
- Yes, we are.
74
00:05:03,081 --> 00:05:05,641
Our little ones
are growing up fast, aren't they?
75
00:05:07,185 --> 00:05:08,652
- How's that?
- You know...
76
00:05:08,820 --> 00:05:12,347
...on one hand, you're happy for them.
On the other, it's hard to let go.
77
00:05:13,425 --> 00:05:15,325
How do you want
to divide up the holidays?
78
00:05:15,493 --> 00:05:18,291
I was thinking Thanksgiving at my place,
Christmas at yours.
79
00:05:18,997 --> 00:05:21,659
Who in God's name are you?
80
00:05:22,434 --> 00:05:26,427
I'm not that fond of you either, buddy.
I'm just trying to be nice for the kids.
81
00:05:28,974 --> 00:05:33,343
You know what? We have no idea what
we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
82
00:05:33,511 --> 00:05:36,446
I thought we'd be groomsmen.
They would have asked us by now.
83
00:05:36,615 --> 00:05:39,482
When did they ask you
to be a bridesmaid?
84
00:05:39,651 --> 00:05:43,382
- November.
- I wanna say it's not looking good.
85
00:05:43,889 --> 00:05:45,686
- Hey, Pheebs?
- Sorry?
86
00:05:45,857 --> 00:05:49,384
You haven't told these guys
what they're doing in the wedding yet.
87
00:05:50,428 --> 00:05:52,089
Well, they're not in the wedding.
88
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:53,891
What?
89
00:05:58,103 --> 00:05:59,627
Well...
90
00:06:00,005 --> 00:06:02,337
...this is really awkward.
91
00:06:02,841 --> 00:06:05,207
Oh, and I can leave.
92
00:06:06,311 --> 00:06:10,577
I'm sorry, you guys. But Mike's got
his brother and his friends from school.
93
00:06:10,749 --> 00:06:12,944
So, you know, you were....
94
00:06:13,118 --> 00:06:17,350
If it helps, you were next in line.
You just missed the cut.
95
00:06:17,522 --> 00:06:18,887
Oh, man.
96
00:06:19,057 --> 00:06:22,322
This is like figure skating team
all over again.
97
00:06:24,829 --> 00:06:27,229
I mean, synchronized swimming.
98
00:06:27,399 --> 00:06:30,391
I mean--
I mean, the balance beam.
99
00:06:30,568 --> 00:06:31,899
- Help me.
- Football.
100
00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:33,697
Thank you.
101
00:06:34,205 --> 00:06:37,697
Oh, Pheebs, spit that out.
That has pork in it.
102
00:06:38,510 --> 00:06:41,172
I thought the pot stickers
were supposed to be vegetarian?
103
00:06:41,346 --> 00:06:44,315
Yeah, I changed them.
I sent you a fax about it.
104
00:06:44,482 --> 00:06:46,848
I don't have a fax machine.
105
00:06:48,086 --> 00:06:50,646
Well, then there are gonna be
a few surprises.
106
00:06:52,891 --> 00:06:56,054
I can't believe we're gonna be
the only people not in the wedding.
107
00:06:56,227 --> 00:07:00,027
- I know. I hate being left out of things.
- And it's a wedding.
108
00:07:00,198 --> 00:07:02,689
It'll be weird if I'm not in it.
109
00:07:04,169 --> 00:07:06,797
- Hey, guys, how's it going?
- Fine.
110
00:07:06,972 --> 00:07:11,875
We're sitting here, alone, doing nothing.
It's our rehearsal for tomorrow.
111
00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:14,944
Look, about tomorrow,
I've got a question for you.
112
00:07:15,113 --> 00:07:18,310
I found out one of my groomsmen
had an emergency and can't make it.
113
00:07:18,483 --> 00:07:21,179
- What happened?
- Who cares? And...?
114
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,447
And I was wondering
if one of you guys--
115
00:07:24,622 --> 00:07:26,886
- I'll do it!
- Me!
116
00:07:27,659 --> 00:07:30,184
You both wanna do it?
There's only room for one.
117
00:07:30,395 --> 00:07:33,023
Pick me. I look great in a tux,
and I won't steal focus.
118
00:07:33,198 --> 00:07:37,692
No, Mike. No, no, you wanna pick me.
I mean.... Watch.
119
00:07:42,941 --> 00:07:46,308
You know, I really don't feel
very comfortable making this decision.
120
00:07:46,478 --> 00:07:49,641
You know, Phoebe knows you better.
I'm gonna let her choose.
121
00:07:50,615 --> 00:07:55,848
Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say
hello to Mike's next groomsman.
122
00:07:56,721 --> 00:07:59,554
Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror...
123
00:07:59,724 --> 00:08:01,624
...as he is me.
124
00:08:02,794 --> 00:08:06,252
- Please. You're going down.
- You are going "downer."
125
00:08:06,431 --> 00:08:08,399
They say that on the
figure skating team?
126
00:08:08,566 --> 00:08:11,296
I wouldn't know. I didn't make it.
127
00:08:14,439 --> 00:08:17,306
You know I'm filling in
for Phoebe's stepdad tomorrow, right?
128
00:08:17,475 --> 00:08:20,876
- Yeah. Yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that.
- Oh, hey, my pleasure.
129
00:08:21,379 --> 00:08:23,677
So, what are your intentions
with my Phoebe?
130
00:08:24,783 --> 00:08:28,241
- I intend to marry her.
- Oh, a wiseacre.
131
00:08:30,288 --> 00:08:34,349
I understand you plan to support
your wife by playing the piano?
132
00:08:35,026 --> 00:08:37,051
Isn't that kind of unstable?
133
00:08:37,328 --> 00:08:40,161
- No more so than acting.
- Strike two.
134
00:08:41,332 --> 00:08:44,733
You're right.
She probably will support me.
135
00:08:44,903 --> 00:08:46,996
Hey, unless we move in with you, Dad.
136
00:08:48,473 --> 00:08:50,270
Strike three.
137
00:08:51,109 --> 00:08:52,804
You only get one more, Mike.
138
00:08:55,246 --> 00:08:58,738
- Michael, can I see you for a moment?
- Yeah, sure.
139
00:08:58,917 --> 00:09:00,976
This was...
140
00:09:01,152 --> 00:09:02,642
...weird.
141
00:09:05,023 --> 00:09:06,115
- Hi.
- Hey.
142
00:09:06,291 --> 00:09:07,553
What's with the face?
143
00:09:07,725 --> 00:09:11,092
That Mike has got no respect.
I'm not sure about him.
144
00:09:11,796 --> 00:09:14,264
Wait, that's not him. There he is.
145
00:09:18,503 --> 00:09:21,097
So? What did you decide?
146
00:09:21,606 --> 00:09:23,801
I decided to pee.
147
00:09:24,576 --> 00:09:27,443
You have to choose one of us
to be in your wedding.
148
00:09:27,612 --> 00:09:30,012
- One of the groomsmen fell out.
- Oh, no, no.
149
00:09:30,181 --> 00:09:33,776
I can't choose between you two.
I love you both so much.
150
00:09:33,952 --> 00:09:37,615
Just not enough to put us
in the original wedding party.
151
00:09:39,858 --> 00:09:42,053
Such bitterness.
152
00:09:42,227 --> 00:09:44,718
Best to keep that attitude
in the seats.
153
00:09:44,896 --> 00:09:48,059
Come on, Pheebs. We both really want
to do this, and it's up to you.
154
00:09:48,233 --> 00:09:50,633
But I don't wanna choose.
It's....
155
00:09:50,869 --> 00:09:52,996
Okay, wait. Rach?
156
00:09:53,304 --> 00:09:56,967
Listen, I have a very special
bridesmaid task for you to do.
157
00:09:57,442 --> 00:09:59,239
Goody! What is it?
158
00:09:59,410 --> 00:10:01,742
Well, there's a spot open
for only one groomsman...
159
00:10:01,913 --> 00:10:05,679
...and you have to choose between Ross
and Chandler. So good luck with that.
160
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:08,375
What? What, what, what?
No, I don't wanna do that.
161
00:10:08,553 --> 00:10:10,453
I guess I have to find a new bridesmaid.
162
00:10:10,622 --> 00:10:12,385
I'll do it!
163
00:10:12,790 --> 00:10:14,758
Okay, it's 2100 hours.
164
00:10:14,926 --> 00:10:17,690
- Time for your toast.
- Do I have time to go to the bathroom?
165
00:10:17,862 --> 00:10:22,196
You had a bathroom break at 2030.
Pee on your own time, Mike.
166
00:10:24,302 --> 00:10:27,237
In regards to the toasts, okay,
you wanna keep them short.
167
00:10:27,405 --> 00:10:30,397
Nothing kills a rehearsal dinner
like long speeches. Okay.
168
00:10:30,575 --> 00:10:32,907
You just get in, do your thing,
and get out.
169
00:10:33,077 --> 00:10:34,908
Is that what you say to Chandler?
170
00:10:36,581 --> 00:10:39,311
It's 2101, and I am not amused.
171
00:10:40,852 --> 00:10:42,444
Okay.
172
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:46,454
The bride and groom
have a few words they'd like to say.
173
00:10:48,293 --> 00:10:50,454
Okay. Hello, everyone.
174
00:10:50,628 --> 00:10:54,758
And thank you all for being here tonight.
So tomorrow's the big event.
175
00:10:55,133 --> 00:10:59,092
Some of you might not know, but Mike
and I didn't get off to the best start.
176
00:10:59,304 --> 00:11:02,637
Yeah. My friend Joey and l...
177
00:11:02,807 --> 00:11:07,176
...decided to fix each other up
with friends. So l--
178
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:12,049
Oh, okay. I....
179
00:11:12,217 --> 00:11:15,414
I thought about it, and I fixed him up
with my friend Mary Ellen...
180
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:19,318
...who couldn't be here tonight,
because.... It's not--
181
00:11:19,490 --> 00:11:22,152
It's not important.
Well, she's in rehab.
182
00:11:22,794 --> 00:11:27,493
Anyway. So Joey said that he was
fixing me up with his friend Mike...
183
00:11:27,665 --> 00:11:31,294
...only he didn't have a friend Mike,
so he just brought my Mike.
184
00:11:31,469 --> 00:11:33,733
And-- And--
185
00:11:33,905 --> 00:11:37,204
But despite, you know--
It got good.
186
00:11:39,177 --> 00:11:42,669
I wanna take a moment to mention
my mother, who couldn't be here.
187
00:11:42,847 --> 00:11:44,542
Oh, God.
188
00:11:44,749 --> 00:11:46,979
And.... And moment's over.
189
00:11:47,151 --> 00:11:50,120
So okay.... Oh, no, forget that.
190
00:11:50,288 --> 00:11:52,381
I can forget that. Oh, this is funny.
191
00:11:52,557 --> 00:11:56,084
Oh, but you need to know that
to get that.
192
00:11:56,261 --> 00:11:58,923
So....
Oh, well, okay.
193
00:11:59,163 --> 00:12:01,324
I.... Okay.
194
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,534
Okay, Monica, I can't do it like this!
195
00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:09,629
This is my wedding, okay?
I don't want this--
196
00:12:09,807 --> 00:12:12,173
Or this-- Or this--
197
00:12:12,343 --> 00:12:14,470
Okay? I just wanted a simple wedding...
198
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:17,911
...where my fiancé can go
to the bathroom any time he wants!
199
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:23,848
- You know what? You're done.
- What?
200
00:12:24,022 --> 00:12:25,853
You're fired!
201
00:12:27,325 --> 00:12:28,724
Cheers.
202
00:12:36,868 --> 00:12:39,234
- Hey.
- Happy wedding day.
203
00:12:39,404 --> 00:12:41,065
Happy my wedding day to you.
204
00:12:41,806 --> 00:12:44,604
Joey, listen, this is gonna be
bridesmaid central, all right?
205
00:12:44,776 --> 00:12:47,142
We're gonna have hair and makeup
in the bathroom.
206
00:12:47,345 --> 00:12:50,837
I had to move a couple things in the
fridge to make room for the corsages.
207
00:12:51,015 --> 00:12:54,746
Man! I wouldn't have had breakfast
if I knew there was gonna be corsages.
208
00:12:58,923 --> 00:13:00,413
Hi.
209
00:13:02,427 --> 00:13:04,327
About last night....
210
00:13:04,495 --> 00:13:07,020
I know you're under
a lot of stress, and....
211
00:13:07,198 --> 00:13:10,725
Well, even though the things you said
were a little hurtful to me...
212
00:13:10,902 --> 00:13:12,995
...as someone who's never
been fired before--
213
00:13:13,171 --> 00:13:14,468
What about in high school...
214
00:13:14,639 --> 00:13:17,437
...when that yogurt store let you go
for sampling toppings?
215
00:13:17,608 --> 00:13:19,041
Everyone there did that.
216
00:13:19,210 --> 00:13:22,737
Yeah, but did everybody owe 3 grand
at the end of the summer?
217
00:13:24,449 --> 00:13:26,110
My point is....
218
00:13:26,284 --> 00:13:28,650
Well, I'm willing to take my job back.
219
00:13:30,021 --> 00:13:32,114
Oh, well, that's okay.
220
00:13:33,191 --> 00:13:37,355
I think you and I will do much better
if you're just here as a bridesmaid.
221
00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:41,255
Is that so?
222
00:13:41,432 --> 00:13:42,865
Okay.
223
00:13:43,034 --> 00:13:45,298
If that's really what you want,
then here.
224
00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:48,633
I give you the headset. I don't really
wanna give you the headset.
225
00:13:49,841 --> 00:13:54,369
I guess if you're taking over, then you
should probably return these messages.
226
00:13:54,545 --> 00:13:56,740
This is a lot.
227
00:13:56,914 --> 00:13:59,781
But I'm sure you can handle this.
I have won awards...
228
00:13:59,951 --> 00:14:03,114
...for my organizational skills.
But I'm sure you'll do fine.
229
00:14:03,287 --> 00:14:06,723
- You've won awards?
- I printed them out on my computer.
230
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,125
- Hey.
- Hi.
231
00:14:10,294 --> 00:14:12,262
- Where's Rach?
- She's in her room. Why?
232
00:14:12,463 --> 00:14:14,988
I have to talk to her
about this groomsman situation.
233
00:14:15,166 --> 00:14:19,466
I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there
while I'm in the seats like some chump.
234
00:14:20,571 --> 00:14:22,266
This wedding isn't about you.
235
00:14:22,907 --> 00:14:24,340
It's not? Then who's it about?
236
00:14:24,509 --> 00:14:27,876
Well, it used to be about me,
but now I have no idea.
237
00:14:32,116 --> 00:14:35,279
My God, you're breathtaking.
238
00:14:38,055 --> 00:14:39,852
What do you want?
239
00:14:40,291 --> 00:14:43,852
You haven't by any chance
chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
240
00:14:44,028 --> 00:14:46,656
Ross, please don't make this
harder than it already is.
241
00:14:46,831 --> 00:14:49,891
I'm not. I'm making it easier. Pick me.
242
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,202
Chandler said it's important to him too.
243
00:14:53,438 --> 00:14:56,498
I'm sorry, did you and Chandler go out?
244
00:14:56,674 --> 00:14:59,165
Do you and Chandler have
a huge history, huh?
245
00:14:59,343 --> 00:15:02,676
Do you and Chandler have
a child together?
246
00:15:03,648 --> 00:15:06,173
If I said yes that would
freak you out, wouldn't it?
247
00:15:07,752 --> 00:15:09,242
Listen. Listen.
248
00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:12,719
Whoever you pick is gonna
walk down the aisle with you.
249
00:15:12,890 --> 00:15:16,451
Now, I promise I won't say a word.
But if you pick Chandler...
250
00:15:16,627 --> 00:15:20,188
...he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes
in your ear the whole time.
251
00:15:21,098 --> 00:15:23,225
Oh, you are the lesser of two evils.
252
00:15:23,401 --> 00:15:25,266
Yes!
253
00:15:25,436 --> 00:15:28,064
Don't say anything to Chandler
until I talk to him.
254
00:15:28,239 --> 00:15:29,433
- You got it.
- Okay.
255
00:15:29,607 --> 00:15:31,837
I cannot believe you played
the Emma card.
256
00:15:32,009 --> 00:15:34,375
Oh, please. I was prepared
to offer you my body.
257
00:15:34,545 --> 00:15:38,276
Oh, my God!
And I didn't hold out.
258
00:15:38,549 --> 00:15:40,813
You know, normally,
that would hurt my feelings...
259
00:15:40,985 --> 00:15:43,044
...but today, I'm a groomsman.
260
00:15:50,628 --> 00:15:54,428
Sven, I don't understand what you're
saying. What is wrong with the flowers?
261
00:15:54,599 --> 00:15:56,931
"Lorkins"? What the hell are "lorkins"?
262
00:15:57,101 --> 00:15:58,466
I know.
263
00:16:00,204 --> 00:16:01,967
- Hey.
- Mike, if you were Swedish...
264
00:16:02,139 --> 00:16:05,631
...and you were saying the word
"lorkins," what flower would that be?
265
00:16:06,444 --> 00:16:07,706
- Orchids?
- Right there!
266
00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:10,973
That's why I'm marrying you.
267
00:16:17,722 --> 00:16:19,690
Hello, Michael.
268
00:16:20,124 --> 00:16:21,819
Joseph.
269
00:16:23,694 --> 00:16:25,525
May I have a word with you, please?
270
00:16:27,832 --> 00:16:29,925
You wanna step it up there?
271
00:16:37,041 --> 00:16:38,770
This is...
272
00:16:38,943 --> 00:16:40,570
...great.
273
00:16:41,245 --> 00:16:42,940
Have a seat.
274
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,680
Last night...
275
00:16:48,619 --> 00:16:51,986
...l tried to welcome you into my family.
276
00:16:53,991 --> 00:16:57,791
And instead, you disrespect me.
277
00:16:58,129 --> 00:16:59,619
I cannot allow this.
278
00:17:00,665 --> 00:17:03,998
Are you rehearsing
for some really bad Mafia movie?
279
00:17:04,769 --> 00:17:06,259
More back talk.
280
00:17:07,305 --> 00:17:12,538
And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines
from my recent unsuccessful audition...
281
00:17:12,710 --> 00:17:16,373
...for Family Honor 2:
This A-Time It's A-Personal.
282
00:17:18,883 --> 00:17:21,477
Joey, I kind of have a lot to do today.
What do you want?
283
00:17:21,652 --> 00:17:23,677
I want you to take this seriously!
284
00:17:23,854 --> 00:17:27,051
Phoebe is very,
very important to me, okay?
285
00:17:27,224 --> 00:17:29,692
I wanna make sure
you are gonna take care of her.
286
00:17:31,562 --> 00:17:33,860
Joe, I love Phoebe.
287
00:17:34,031 --> 00:17:35,965
She's the most important thing
in my life.
288
00:17:36,133 --> 00:17:39,159
I'd die before I let
anything happen to her.
289
00:17:41,005 --> 00:17:43,906
That's what I wanted to hear.
290
00:17:44,375 --> 00:17:46,900
Because she's family, okay?
291
00:17:47,078 --> 00:17:48,909
And now you're gonna be family.
292
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:54,245
And there's nothing more important
in the whole world than family.
293
00:17:54,652 --> 00:17:56,643
That must have been one lousy movie.
294
00:17:56,821 --> 00:17:58,846
That was me!
295
00:18:01,926 --> 00:18:04,394
- Hi.
- Let's talk about this groomsman thing.
296
00:18:04,562 --> 00:18:07,497
If you pick Ross, he'll walk you
down the aisle just fine.
297
00:18:07,665 --> 00:18:09,599
But if you choose me...
298
00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:12,133
...you'll be getting some comedy.
299
00:18:14,572 --> 00:18:16,870
Even so...
300
00:18:20,044 --> 00:18:22,012
...l think I'm gonna pick Ross.
301
00:18:22,713 --> 00:18:24,180
Yeah, I figured you might...
302
00:18:24,348 --> 00:18:27,579
...because of the history,
and you used to love him...
303
00:18:27,752 --> 00:18:29,481
...and you guys have a baby.
304
00:18:35,326 --> 00:18:38,295
Well, thank you for respecting
my decision.
305
00:18:38,462 --> 00:18:40,953
Let me tell you
why you need to pick me.
306
00:18:42,933 --> 00:18:47,597
See, when I was a kid, you know,
I was always left out of everything...
307
00:18:47,772 --> 00:18:50,832
...and it really made me feel insecure.
308
00:18:51,008 --> 00:18:55,274
I was always picked last in gym...
309
00:18:55,446 --> 00:18:59,348
...even behind that fat exchange student
who didn't know the rules to baseball.
310
00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:03,009
I mean, this guy would strike out
and then run to third.
311
00:19:05,523 --> 00:19:07,354
It's just so humiliating.
312
00:19:07,525 --> 00:19:10,460
I mean, you know how it feels
to be left out of things, right?
313
00:19:11,595 --> 00:19:13,722
- No.
- No.
314
00:19:14,465 --> 00:19:17,491
Anyway, if I'm the only one
left out of this wedding...
315
00:19:17,668 --> 00:19:21,832
...l just know that all those feelings
are gonna come rushing back.
316
00:19:24,308 --> 00:19:26,139
All right, fine, I pick you.
317
00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:28,141
Yes!
318
00:19:28,846 --> 00:19:32,247
Make "groom" for Chandler.
319
00:19:35,686 --> 00:19:37,085
Oh, my.
320
00:19:38,856 --> 00:19:43,418
No, we're gonna do it my way.
Because your way is stupid.
321
00:19:43,594 --> 00:19:47,052
All right, I got to go.
I have another call, Reverend.
322
00:19:48,532 --> 00:19:49,999
Hello?
323
00:19:50,167 --> 00:19:52,465
- I'm glad we had this little talk.
- Yes.
324
00:19:52,636 --> 00:19:55,537
And thanks for all the
wedding night advice.
325
00:19:55,706 --> 00:19:57,936
That didn't make me
uncomfortable at all.
326
00:19:58,275 --> 00:20:00,368
All right, so I'll see everybody tonight.
327
00:20:00,578 --> 00:20:01,875
- Okay.
- Bye.
328
00:20:06,751 --> 00:20:09,948
Did you guys know that there's
a giant ice sculpture in the hall?
329
00:20:10,421 --> 00:20:12,651
Oh, my God, what's it doing here?
330
00:20:12,823 --> 00:20:16,691
I guess it got sent to the billing address
as opposed to the shipping address.
331
00:20:16,861 --> 00:20:21,059
- What a pickle.
- Oh, my God, everything's such a mess.
332
00:20:21,232 --> 00:20:23,700
Why is this happening to me?
333
00:20:24,401 --> 00:20:27,495
How bad do you wanna
stick your tongue on that?
334
00:20:33,844 --> 00:20:36,005
- How's it going?
- Good.
335
00:20:36,447 --> 00:20:41,146
I'm just getting some coffee
so I'm alert for the wedding.
336
00:20:41,619 --> 00:20:44,315
That's what I was doing too.
337
00:20:44,488 --> 00:20:47,514
Well, you have fun tonight.
338
00:20:47,691 --> 00:20:50,489
- You too.
- Oh, I will.
339
00:20:50,895 --> 00:20:52,226
Me too.
340
00:20:56,367 --> 00:21:00,167
Wait a minute. I know why I'm being
such an ass. Why are you?
341
00:21:01,138 --> 00:21:04,369
- I'm not supposed to tell you.
- I'm not supposed to tell you.
342
00:21:04,542 --> 00:21:06,533
Did Rachel say you could be
in the wedding?
343
00:21:06,710 --> 00:21:08,803
- Yes.
- She told me that too!
344
00:21:08,979 --> 00:21:11,072
I don't believe this.
I played the Emma card.
345
00:21:11,248 --> 00:21:13,910
I looked into my soul.
346
00:21:17,588 --> 00:21:20,182
You told us both
we could be in the wedding?
347
00:21:21,692 --> 00:21:24,889
In my defense, you weren't
supposed to tell each other!
348
00:21:26,063 --> 00:21:28,896
Rachel, only one of us can do it.
You have to choose.
349
00:21:29,066 --> 00:21:31,398
You and me together again.
350
00:21:32,703 --> 00:21:34,364
Rach, Rach? Knock-knock.
351
00:21:34,538 --> 00:21:36,768
- Who's there?
- I'll tell you at the wedding.
352
00:21:37,842 --> 00:21:39,901
Hey, I forgot my scarf.
353
00:21:40,077 --> 00:21:43,137
I can't do this. I don't know
which one of you guys to pick.
354
00:21:43,314 --> 00:21:46,181
Oh, you haven't picked yet?
Oh, good, because I had an idea.
355
00:21:46,350 --> 00:21:51,344
I thought it would be fun if the third
groomsman was my family dog, Chappy.
356
00:21:51,555 --> 00:21:54,888
What? A dog?
No. Rachel gets to choose.
357
00:21:55,826 --> 00:21:58,454
Wow, this is a tough one.
358
00:21:58,629 --> 00:22:00,529
I think I'm gonna have to go
with the dog.
359
00:22:02,099 --> 00:22:05,660
So, what you're saying is
that the chef is at the Hamilton Club...
360
00:22:05,836 --> 00:22:10,102
...but the food is not? And the drinks
are there but the bartender is not?
361
00:22:10,274 --> 00:22:13,471
Are you freaking kidding me?
362
00:22:14,311 --> 00:22:16,006
How's it going?
363
00:22:16,180 --> 00:22:18,114
- Help me.
- What?
364
00:22:18,282 --> 00:22:21,012
I want you to be crazy bitch again.
365
00:22:22,853 --> 00:22:24,548
Really?
366
00:22:25,222 --> 00:22:26,519
Please?
367
00:22:27,358 --> 00:22:31,692
- You really want me to come back?
- More than I wanna get married.
368
00:22:33,731 --> 00:22:36,996
Okay, people, we are back in business!
369
00:22:37,167 --> 00:22:40,830
Oh, God, I have missed you
so much. Okay.
370
00:22:41,005 --> 00:22:43,838
Get your hair and makeup done.
I'll take care of everything.
371
00:22:44,008 --> 00:22:46,670
- Hey, what are you guys gonna do?
- About what?
372
00:22:46,844 --> 00:22:48,903
The blizzard.
I just saw on the news...
373
00:22:49,079 --> 00:22:50,944
...it's the worst snowstorm
in 20 years.
374
00:22:51,115 --> 00:22:54,141
They already closed
all the bridges and tunnels.
375
00:22:54,885 --> 00:22:58,218
But the band and the photographer
are coming in from New Jersey.
376
00:22:58,389 --> 00:23:00,414
I don't think they are.
377
00:23:01,091 --> 00:23:04,288
Looks like you're not gonna be
in the wedding, either.
378
00:23:05,629 --> 00:23:07,597
So sorry, Pheebs.
379
00:23:18,309 --> 00:23:22,336
- Well, the club lost its power.
- The news said most of the city did.
380
00:23:22,546 --> 00:23:25,481
- Since when do you watch the news?
- For your information...
381
00:23:25,649 --> 00:23:28,709
...since they hired
a very hot weather girl.
382
00:23:30,054 --> 00:23:32,716
I can't believe you aren't
getting married today.
383
00:23:32,890 --> 00:23:34,221
I know.
384
00:23:34,391 --> 00:23:38,327
It's so beautiful out there. You always
wanted to get married outside.
385
00:23:38,495 --> 00:23:41,896
- Why don't you just do it on the street?
- What?
386
00:23:42,066 --> 00:23:44,193
Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore.
387
00:23:44,368 --> 00:23:47,735
I mean, you couldn't ask
for a more romantic setting.
388
00:23:47,905 --> 00:23:50,430
This could be the simple wedding
you've always wanted.
389
00:23:51,742 --> 00:23:53,369
What do you think?
390
00:23:54,845 --> 00:23:57,245
I think I wanna get married to you today.
391
00:23:59,416 --> 00:24:03,113
Me too. Monica, do you think
we could do it?
392
00:24:04,922 --> 00:24:06,389
Affirmative!
393
00:24:14,031 --> 00:24:16,363
Okay, let's get these chairs out here!
394
00:24:16,533 --> 00:24:19,161
Gunther, hit the Christmas lights.
395
00:24:26,043 --> 00:24:31,413
Okay, who left the ice sculpture
on the steam grate?
396
00:24:32,850 --> 00:24:36,479
- Michael.
- Hey, you made it. Great. Chappy!
397
00:24:36,653 --> 00:24:39,679
- There you go.
- Hi. Hi.
398
00:24:40,591 --> 00:24:43,719
I know getting married in the street
isn't what you approve of.
399
00:24:43,927 --> 00:24:49,297
No, it's lovely. The lights and the snow.
I could look at them forever.
400
00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:51,627
I crushed a pill and put it in her drink.
401
00:24:52,803 --> 00:24:54,828
Come on, sweetheart.
402
00:24:56,540 --> 00:24:59,065
You know, Chappy's too small
to handle all this snow.
403
00:24:59,243 --> 00:25:01,074
Someone has to
walk him down the aisle.
404
00:25:01,245 --> 00:25:03,736
- Would this person be in the wedding?
- I guess.
405
00:25:03,914 --> 00:25:05,472
- I'll do it!
- I'll do it!
406
00:25:05,649 --> 00:25:09,312
Chandler, hello?
I mean, aren't you scared of dogs?
407
00:25:09,486 --> 00:25:12,148
I'm not scared.
I'll just take little Chappy and--
408
00:25:12,322 --> 00:25:15,155
He can sense my fear!
My throat is exposed!
409
00:25:16,894 --> 00:25:20,091
I guess I'm in the wedding then.
410
00:25:21,065 --> 00:25:23,033
He stinks.
411
00:25:23,667 --> 00:25:26,898
Level one alert! I repeat,
level one, this is not a drill!
412
00:25:27,071 --> 00:25:30,529
We have a situation. The minister called.
He's snowed in, he can't make it.
413
00:25:30,707 --> 00:25:32,641
- Oh, no.
- Hey, don't worry.
414
00:25:32,810 --> 00:25:35,005
- I'm still ordained from your wedding.
- Really?
415
00:25:35,179 --> 00:25:39,513
Yeah. You think I'd give up being
a minister and pay to ride the subway?
416
00:25:40,084 --> 00:25:42,609
Ministers don't ride the subway for free.
417
00:25:42,786 --> 00:25:46,153
I had to read the Bible pretty carefully,
but, yeah, we do.
418
00:25:47,591 --> 00:25:50,389
We have to find someone else
to walk Phoebe down the aisle.
419
00:25:50,561 --> 00:25:52,119
I'll do it!
420
00:25:56,533 --> 00:25:58,524
Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position.
421
00:25:58,702 --> 00:26:00,693
Chandler, come with me.
422
00:26:06,677 --> 00:26:11,080
Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony,
and Chandler's giving you away.
423
00:26:11,248 --> 00:26:13,910
Oh, okay. Hi, new Dad.
424
00:26:15,853 --> 00:26:18,651
So you ready to do this?
425
00:26:19,256 --> 00:26:21,952
Oh, my God. This is really happening.
426
00:26:22,526 --> 00:26:26,428
- Phoebe, I'm so happy for you, honey.
- Thank you.
427
00:26:26,930 --> 00:26:30,229
I love you.
Wait, wait! No hugs! The dresses!
428
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,834
- Oh, what the hell.
- Oh, come on.
429
00:26:34,304 --> 00:26:36,204
- I love you guys.
- I love you.
430
00:26:36,373 --> 00:26:40,776
Okay, it's zero hour!
All teams execute on my count!
431
00:26:40,944 --> 00:26:44,141
Let's get this bad boy on the road!
432
00:26:44,314 --> 00:26:46,782
Is it okay I want you
to wear that headset in bed?
433
00:26:46,950 --> 00:26:49,646
I have you scheduled for nudity
at 2300 hours.
434
00:26:49,820 --> 00:26:51,185
Oh, yeah.
435
00:26:53,190 --> 00:26:54,680
Okay, Marjorie, hit it.
436
00:27:04,601 --> 00:27:08,594
- Jeez, Ross. You could've showered.
- It's the dog.
437
00:27:11,341 --> 00:27:14,242
Groomsman? Why are you standing
there? Where's your bridesmaid?
438
00:27:14,411 --> 00:27:17,437
We've got a broken arrow!
Bridesmaid down!
439
00:27:17,648 --> 00:27:19,809
Oh, that's me.
440
00:27:24,655 --> 00:27:27,249
- Ready?
- Okay.
441
00:27:27,424 --> 00:27:30,188
Oh, wait. Oh, no. Wait.
442
00:27:34,198 --> 00:27:36,894
Wow. Aren't you gonna be cold?
443
00:27:37,067 --> 00:27:38,364
I don't care.
444
00:27:38,535 --> 00:27:41,368
I'll be my "something blue."
445
00:27:45,175 --> 00:27:47,735
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
446
00:28:28,285 --> 00:28:30,014
My God.
447
00:28:30,754 --> 00:28:32,745
Aren't you freezing?
448
00:28:38,128 --> 00:28:41,120
Friends. Family.
449
00:28:41,298 --> 00:28:42,925
Dog.
450
00:28:44,534 --> 00:28:47,469
Thank you all for being here
to witness this blessed event.
451
00:28:48,572 --> 00:28:51,598
The cold has now spread
to my special place...
452
00:28:54,111 --> 00:28:56,306
...so I'm gonna do
the short version of this.
453
00:28:57,881 --> 00:28:59,872
Phoebe and Mike
are perfect for each other.
454
00:29:00,050 --> 00:29:02,518
And I know I speak for everyone here...
455
00:29:02,686 --> 00:29:06,178
...when I wish them
a lifetime of happiness.
456
00:29:06,356 --> 00:29:09,223
And may they have many children...
457
00:29:09,393 --> 00:29:11,953
...who will one day avenge
their family's honor.
458
00:29:13,463 --> 00:29:17,490
How could I not get that part?
Stupid Ralph Macchio.
459
00:29:19,102 --> 00:29:20,967
Right. Okay.
460
00:29:21,138 --> 00:29:22,901
Who has the rings?
461
00:29:28,045 --> 00:29:29,444
Okay.
462
00:29:31,615 --> 00:29:35,608
When I was growing up,
I didn't have a normal mom and dad...
463
00:29:35,786 --> 00:29:38,755
...or a regular family like everybody else.
464
00:29:38,922 --> 00:29:42,153
And I always knew
that something was missing.
465
00:29:44,127 --> 00:29:46,652
But now I'm standing here today...
466
00:29:46,830 --> 00:29:50,561
...knowing that I have everything
I'm ever gonna need.
467
00:29:51,168 --> 00:29:53,295
You are my family.
468
00:30:02,546 --> 00:30:04,776
Phoebe, you are so beautiful.
469
00:30:04,948 --> 00:30:08,247
You're so kind. You're so generous.
470
00:30:08,418 --> 00:30:10,682
You're so wonderfully weird.
471
00:30:13,623 --> 00:30:16,217
Every day with you is an adventure.
472
00:30:16,393 --> 00:30:19,328
And I can't believe how lucky I am.
473
00:30:19,496 --> 00:30:22,897
And I can't wait
to share my life with you forever.
474
00:30:26,103 --> 00:30:28,594
Oh, wait! Oh, I forgot. And...
475
00:30:28,772 --> 00:30:30,034
...l love you.
476
00:30:31,641 --> 00:30:33,472
And you have nice eyes.
477
00:30:35,345 --> 00:30:37,176
I love you too.
478
00:30:37,514 --> 00:30:39,175
- Joey?
- Yeah?
479
00:30:39,349 --> 00:30:42,443
Chappy's heart rate
has slowed way down.
480
00:30:44,221 --> 00:30:46,689
Okay. Phoebe...
481
00:30:46,857 --> 00:30:49,690
...do you take this man
to be your husband?
482
00:30:49,860 --> 00:30:51,418
I do.
483
00:30:54,097 --> 00:30:58,227
Mike, do you take this woman
to be your wife?
484
00:30:58,402 --> 00:31:00,199
I do.
485
00:31:02,105 --> 00:31:04,539
I now pronounce you...
486
00:31:04,708 --> 00:31:07,609
...husband and wife.
487
00:31:14,818 --> 00:31:16,479
I got married!
488
00:31:20,524 --> 00:31:23,584
Could someone get me a coat?
I'm frigging freezing.
489
00:31:32,102 --> 00:31:34,263
- It really was an incredible wedding.
- It was.
490
00:31:34,438 --> 00:31:36,599
I kind of don't want it to end.
Hey...
491
00:31:36,773 --> 00:31:39,799
...you wanna come in for a drink
and a bite of corsage?
492
00:31:40,677 --> 00:31:42,668
I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours...
493
00:31:42,846 --> 00:31:46,577
...and I'm about to have the most
organized sex anyone's ever had.
494
00:31:46,750 --> 00:31:48,945
- Whatever happened to Ross?
- I don't know.
495
00:31:49,119 --> 00:31:51,519
Maybe he hooked up with that
hot girl he talked to.
496
00:31:51,688 --> 00:31:54,156
Come on, Chappy! Do your business!
497
00:31:54,324 --> 00:31:56,053
Make!
498
00:31:56,827 --> 00:31:58,556
Make!
499
00:32:00,697 --> 00:32:02,927
I did not sign on for this.