1 00:00:02,481 --> 00:00:04,278 - Hey, guys-- - Wait! Let me tell them. 2 00:00:04,483 --> 00:00:05,882 - Sure. - Joey's gonna be... 3 00:00:06,051 --> 00:00:08,383 ...a celebrity guest on a game show. 4 00:00:08,554 --> 00:00:09,885 Really? Which one? 5 00:00:11,790 --> 00:00:14,281 Fish. Seaweed. 6 00:00:14,459 --> 00:00:16,552 - A sunken ship. - Things you find in the ocean. 7 00:00:16,728 --> 00:00:19,788 - You're gonna be on Pyramid! - Yeah. 8 00:00:19,965 --> 00:00:23,025 - That was our favorite game show ever. - Except for Match Game. 9 00:00:23,201 --> 00:00:24,793 Or Win, Lose or Draw. 10 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,935 What did I marry into? 11 00:00:31,143 --> 00:00:33,373 You guys wanna come and watch me tape the show? 12 00:00:33,545 --> 00:00:36,241 Oh, we can't. We're throwing Phoebe a bachelorette party. 13 00:00:36,415 --> 00:00:39,578 Yeah. Sorry, boys, this ride's closing. 14 00:00:41,286 --> 00:00:44,551 And Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. 15 00:00:44,723 --> 00:00:47,556 I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond. 16 00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:50,890 Seriously? 17 00:00:52,598 --> 00:00:56,227 Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie. 18 00:00:56,401 --> 00:00:58,733 You guys just keep getting cooler and cooler. 19 00:01:00,472 --> 00:01:02,963 Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends. 20 00:01:03,141 --> 00:01:07,043 Oh, God, that's right. I blocked that out. 21 00:01:14,453 --> 00:01:16,216 I'm leaving you. 22 00:02:08,807 --> 00:02:12,436 It's so weird to see all these people again. 23 00:02:12,611 --> 00:02:14,602 Oh, my God, look. There's Jeffrey Klarik. 24 00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:18,375 - Who? - He was roommates with John Rosoff. 25 00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:21,842 He went out with Andrea Tamborino. 26 00:02:22,387 --> 00:02:25,788 She dumped him for Michael Skloff. 27 00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:29,787 Did I go to this school? 28 00:02:31,163 --> 00:02:34,428 Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her. 29 00:02:34,599 --> 00:02:36,499 Sure. Nice. 30 00:02:36,668 --> 00:02:38,636 Dude, you're married to my sister. 31 00:02:38,837 --> 00:02:41,772 You're right. By saying "nice," I'm virtually licking her. 32 00:02:43,442 --> 00:02:47,139 Hey, I hear she's single again. You think I should ask her out? 33 00:02:47,312 --> 00:02:49,473 Are you asking permission to break the pact? 34 00:02:49,648 --> 00:02:51,616 Yes, please. 35 00:03:03,962 --> 00:03:07,022 Hey. Hey, check out the fliers for the band. 36 00:03:07,232 --> 00:03:10,395 - I made them on a Macintosh. - Awesome. 37 00:03:10,569 --> 00:03:12,161 The name really stands out. 38 00:03:12,337 --> 00:03:17,036 Thanks to a little something called Helvetica Bold 24-point. 39 00:03:17,476 --> 00:03:19,910 Man, we're gonna rock that Asian Student Union. 40 00:03:22,881 --> 00:03:26,214 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Missy. 41 00:03:26,384 --> 00:03:30,218 - Our band is playing on Friday. - Yeah, you should come check us out. 42 00:03:30,388 --> 00:03:32,822 We're called Way/No Way. 43 00:03:33,658 --> 00:03:36,252 - No way. - Way. 44 00:03:36,428 --> 00:03:38,896 - Great. I'll be there. - Fresh. 45 00:03:39,064 --> 00:03:40,361 - Boss. - Mint. 46 00:03:40,532 --> 00:03:42,557 - She's gone. - I know it. 47 00:03:44,536 --> 00:03:48,438 - I am totally gonna ask her out. - Dude, I was gonna ask her out. 48 00:03:48,607 --> 00:03:53,010 - I said it first, bro. - Well, I thought it first, Homes. 49 00:03:53,378 --> 00:03:57,405 - Look, if you date-- - Wait! Wait! What are we doing? 50 00:03:58,116 --> 00:04:01,916 What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. 51 00:04:02,087 --> 00:04:04,612 I mean, we can get laid any time we want. 52 00:04:04,823 --> 00:04:06,256 Totally. 53 00:04:06,424 --> 00:04:10,451 - I had sex in high school. - Me too. I'm good at it. 54 00:04:12,764 --> 00:04:14,595 All right, I say we make a pact. 55 00:04:14,766 --> 00:04:17,530 Neither of us will go out with Missy Goldberg. 56 00:04:17,736 --> 00:04:19,863 You got it. 57 00:04:20,872 --> 00:04:23,602 That's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald... 58 00:04:23,775 --> 00:04:26,209 - ...who we can't go out with. - Those are the pacts. 59 00:04:26,378 --> 00:04:29,870 And Sheena Easton. But we probably couldn't get her anyway. 60 00:04:30,048 --> 00:04:32,278 Maybe not you. 61 00:04:33,752 --> 00:04:36,653 Well, I officially give you permission to break the pact. 62 00:04:36,855 --> 00:04:38,220 Thank you. 63 00:04:42,027 --> 00:04:46,657 Here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college? 64 00:04:46,865 --> 00:04:50,460 - Your hands are shaking. - I know. And I can't stop sweating. 65 00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:55,629 Five, four, three. Applause. 66 00:04:59,678 --> 00:05:01,578 Yeah! 67 00:05:01,746 --> 00:05:04,715 Welcome. It is Soap Opera Week here on Pyramid. 68 00:05:04,883 --> 00:05:08,580 Let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist. 69 00:05:08,753 --> 00:05:12,814 He's gonna be playing with Days of Our Lives star Joey Tribbiani. 70 00:05:15,026 --> 00:05:17,586 And over here, we have Henrietta Cherry. 71 00:05:17,762 --> 00:05:21,493 I know it can be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities... 72 00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:25,932 ...but relax. I'm just like you, only better-looking and richer. 73 00:05:26,504 --> 00:05:30,440 She'll be playing with star of General Hospital, Leslie Charleson. 74 00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:35,470 Welcome, everybody. Good luck to all of you. Let's play Pyramid. 75 00:05:35,647 --> 00:05:39,276 All right? Now, we flipped a coin before the show. 76 00:05:39,451 --> 00:05:42,249 Gene, you won the toss, so you'll start. Which category? 77 00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:45,253 - "You Crossed the Line." - "You Crossed the Line." Joey... 78 00:05:45,423 --> 00:05:48,586 ...describe for Gene these things that have lines. 79 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,661 Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready? Go. 80 00:05:53,331 --> 00:05:56,164 Okay, it's a store like a supermarket. 81 00:05:57,836 --> 00:06:00,634 I see what I did there. Okay, okay. I'm writing in my.... 82 00:06:00,805 --> 00:06:03,433 - Diary. - No, more like a notebook. 83 00:06:06,411 --> 00:06:08,971 If I'm building a house, the plan... 84 00:06:09,147 --> 00:06:12,173 ...isn't called a "shmooprint" .... 85 00:06:12,417 --> 00:06:13,714 I can't do that either? 86 00:06:15,553 --> 00:06:19,421 In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the...? 87 00:06:19,591 --> 00:06:22,992 - Cafeteria? - Yeah, but they're not looking for that. 88 00:06:27,365 --> 00:06:30,857 - Thank you so much for this. - You like it? 89 00:06:31,036 --> 00:06:34,233 Oh, my God, it's all so elegant. 90 00:06:34,406 --> 00:06:36,601 When's the dirty stuff starting? 91 00:06:37,842 --> 00:06:40,868 - What? - The strippers and the guys dancing... 92 00:06:41,046 --> 00:06:43,606 ...and, you know, pee-pees flying about. 93 00:06:47,018 --> 00:06:50,613 Pheebs, l.... There isn't gonna be any "flying about." 94 00:06:50,789 --> 00:06:53,986 We thought we were a little too mature for stuff like that. 95 00:06:54,426 --> 00:06:56,291 Oh, okay. 96 00:06:57,395 --> 00:07:01,354 I see what you're doing. That's fine. This is all there is. Just tea. Okay. 97 00:07:04,402 --> 00:07:06,302 Raunchy. 98 00:07:08,606 --> 00:07:11,769 Seriously, Pheebs, it's not gonna be that kind of a party. 99 00:07:13,044 --> 00:07:15,274 Really? So this is...? 100 00:07:15,447 --> 00:07:18,041 This is my big sendoff into married life? 101 00:07:18,216 --> 00:07:21,276 Rachel, this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have. 102 00:07:21,453 --> 00:07:23,580 I've got a big wad of ones in my purse. 103 00:07:27,058 --> 00:07:30,152 Really? I mean, really? It's just tea? 104 00:07:32,530 --> 00:07:34,088 No. 105 00:07:34,566 --> 00:07:37,626 - Phoebe, of course there's more. - Okay. 106 00:07:37,802 --> 00:07:40,896 I mean, let me just go talk to Monica... 107 00:07:41,072 --> 00:07:43,768 ...and get an ETA on the pee-pees. 108 00:07:47,345 --> 00:07:48,642 We've got a problem. 109 00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:52,749 Oh, my God. Did someone find my Band-Aid in their scone? 110 00:07:54,452 --> 00:07:56,613 That wasn't an apricot? 111 00:07:58,223 --> 00:08:01,681 - What's the problem? - Okay. Phoebe wants a stripper. 112 00:08:01,860 --> 00:08:03,760 I thought we said we were too grown up for that. 113 00:08:03,928 --> 00:08:07,022 Yeah, well, it's what she wants. 114 00:08:09,868 --> 00:08:15,397 Hey, why is the page that has strippers on it dog-eared? 115 00:08:16,107 --> 00:08:18,905 Chandler was in Tulsa. I was bored. 116 00:08:19,077 --> 00:08:20,601 Please don't tell him. 117 00:08:23,481 --> 00:08:27,110 Now, Gene, I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game. 118 00:08:27,285 --> 00:08:31,415 Describe for Joey "things you find in your refrigerator." 119 00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:35,116 They might as well just give us the points. 120 00:08:35,293 --> 00:08:38,126 Give me 20 seconds on the clock. Ready? Go. 121 00:08:39,798 --> 00:08:42,767 - You put this in your coffee. - A spoon. Your hands. Your face. 122 00:08:42,934 --> 00:08:46,700 - It's white. - Paper. Snow. A ghost! 123 00:08:46,871 --> 00:08:50,807 - It's heavier than milk. - A rock. A dog. The Earth. 124 00:08:50,975 --> 00:08:51,964 Pass. 125 00:08:53,311 --> 00:08:55,973 - You put it on a sandwich. - Salami. Anchovies. Jam. 126 00:08:56,147 --> 00:08:59,674 - It's white. - Paper. Snow. A ghost! 127 00:08:59,884 --> 00:09:02,580 - It's made from eggs. - Chickens? 128 00:09:02,754 --> 00:09:04,119 Pass. 129 00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:07,220 - You put this on a hamburger. - Ketchup! Relish! 130 00:09:07,392 --> 00:09:08,791 Stop! 131 00:09:09,094 --> 00:09:12,860 Oh, time's up. Well, Joey, you were... 132 00:09:13,031 --> 00:09:16,489 ...almost on a roll there. Gene... 133 00:09:16,668 --> 00:09:19,728 ...you'll have a chance to go to the Winner's Circle, but now... 134 00:09:19,904 --> 00:09:24,739 ...Henrietta, you're going to the Winner's Circle to try your luck for $ 10,000... 135 00:09:24,909 --> 00:09:27,173 ...right after this. Don't go away. 136 00:09:27,512 --> 00:09:29,673 And we're out. 137 00:09:30,815 --> 00:09:34,410 - How about that ketchup thing, huh? - Yeah. Impressive. 138 00:09:34,586 --> 00:09:38,750 Oh, so we didn't win. But it's fun to play the game, right? 139 00:09:39,224 --> 00:09:42,716 I got a kid starting college. I have to get surgery on my knee. 140 00:09:42,894 --> 00:09:44,589 You just lost me 10 grand. 141 00:09:45,263 --> 00:09:47,424 Oh, wow. 142 00:09:48,133 --> 00:09:51,591 I'm so sorry. Okay, I promise, we'll do better next time. 143 00:09:51,769 --> 00:09:54,499 Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you. 144 00:09:56,241 --> 00:09:57,868 Hey, some of those are pretty hard. 145 00:09:58,276 --> 00:10:01,336 Like, why would there be a ghost in my fridge? 146 00:10:03,148 --> 00:10:04,843 Yeah. 147 00:10:06,317 --> 00:10:08,547 - So Saturday night? - I'd love to. 148 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,278 Great. 149 00:10:12,991 --> 00:10:15,482 So how come it took you so long to ask me out? 150 00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:17,992 Oh, well, this is gonna sound kind of silly... 151 00:10:18,163 --> 00:10:21,155 ...but do you remember my roommate, Chandler Bing? 152 00:10:21,332 --> 00:10:23,698 Sure. He was in your "band." 153 00:10:26,037 --> 00:10:30,337 It's been 16 years, but the air quotes still hurt. 154 00:10:30,508 --> 00:10:32,271 - Sorry. - That's okay. Anyway.... 155 00:10:32,443 --> 00:10:35,810 Well, he and I both really liked you a lot... 156 00:10:35,980 --> 00:10:39,814 ...but we didn't want it to jeopardize our friendship, so we made a pact... 157 00:10:39,984 --> 00:10:42,452 ...that neither of us could ask you out. 158 00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:45,311 - Really? - Yeah, why? 159 00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:49,017 Well, Chandler and I used to make out. 160 00:10:49,194 --> 00:10:51,162 A lot. 161 00:10:53,198 --> 00:10:55,223 - You did? - Yeah. 162 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:59,632 - We'd go to the science lab after-hours. - And on my turf?! 163 00:11:02,907 --> 00:11:06,399 Hey, where is this guy? It's been over an hour. 164 00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:09,706 He's coming from Jersey. He said he'd get here as fast as he could. 165 00:11:09,881 --> 00:11:15,513 Oh, by the way, Phoebe's friend Marge found an earring in cucumber sandwich. 166 00:11:16,321 --> 00:11:18,414 Well, it's not mi-- 167 00:11:20,124 --> 00:11:22,820 I am not on my game today. 168 00:11:24,963 --> 00:11:26,726 - Who is it? - It's the police. 169 00:11:26,898 --> 00:11:28,729 The police! 170 00:11:31,836 --> 00:11:35,465 That's right. It's Officer Goodbody. 171 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,632 What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? 172 00:11:50,021 --> 00:11:52,785 That's a lot of stairs. 173 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,052 Boy. 174 00:11:57,228 --> 00:12:00,595 You should warn people there's no elevator. 175 00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:07,128 I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch. 176 00:12:09,173 --> 00:12:11,539 Are you gonna be okay, Officer...? 177 00:12:11,709 --> 00:12:14,803 - Goodbody. - If you say so. 178 00:12:17,115 --> 00:12:19,606 So where's the young lady... 179 00:12:20,118 --> 00:12:24,350 ...who I am supposed to take downtown? 180 00:12:26,958 --> 00:12:28,892 Oh, God. 181 00:12:32,597 --> 00:12:36,533 You, my dear, are under arrest. 182 00:12:36,701 --> 00:12:37,929 Cardiac arrest? 183 00:12:40,405 --> 00:12:43,806 All right. Somebody show me where to plug in my box... 184 00:12:43,975 --> 00:12:46,967 ...and we'll get this party started. 185 00:12:49,881 --> 00:12:51,212 - Over here? - Yeah. 186 00:12:51,382 --> 00:12:53,543 - All right. - Rachel? 187 00:12:54,252 --> 00:12:57,221 - Yeah? - Are you kidding? 188 00:12:57,388 --> 00:13:00,323 We didn't know you wanted a stripper, so we got the phone book... 189 00:13:00,491 --> 00:13:04,621 - ...and got the first name we could find. - How old's your phone book? 190 00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:09,596 Oh, my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment. 191 00:13:09,767 --> 00:13:12,565 God, no. I don't wanna see him take his clothes off. 192 00:13:12,737 --> 00:13:14,705 Are you talking about me? 193 00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:17,537 No. 194 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:22,009 I mean, obviously we wanna see you take your clothes off. 195 00:13:22,180 --> 00:13:24,705 You big piece of eye candy. 196 00:13:27,118 --> 00:13:31,680 Okay. Okay, ladies, can I have your attention, please? 197 00:13:31,923 --> 00:13:33,652 Oh, yeah. 198 00:13:36,327 --> 00:13:41,492 Did someone call for the long arm of the law? 199 00:13:44,268 --> 00:13:48,261 I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon. 200 00:13:52,276 --> 00:13:56,542 I hope you're familiar with this state's penal code. 201 00:13:58,483 --> 00:14:00,917 Okay, okay. Enough teasing. 202 00:14:01,085 --> 00:14:04,282 Now for some pleasing. 203 00:14:34,185 --> 00:14:35,675 She cringed. 204 00:14:36,687 --> 00:14:40,248 This is how I look when I'm turned-on. 205 00:14:42,059 --> 00:14:44,027 You were talking about me before. 206 00:14:44,195 --> 00:14:47,756 Look, I don't need this. I'm out of here. Where's my hat? 207 00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:52,731 Look, I've been in this business for a long time. 208 00:14:52,904 --> 00:14:54,633 Shocking. 209 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:59,804 Now, if you'll just pay me my $300, I'll be on my way. 210 00:14:59,977 --> 00:15:02,946 - $300? Are you kidding? - That's okay. Let me get my checkbook. 211 00:15:03,114 --> 00:15:05,480 You're not gonna pay him. He didn't do anything. 212 00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:09,780 Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. 213 00:15:09,954 --> 00:15:13,446 I climbed, I don't know, like, a billion stairs. 214 00:15:13,624 --> 00:15:16,422 And it's not like I can take them two at a time. 215 00:15:19,397 --> 00:15:22,730 I don't care. We're not paying you $300 for this. 216 00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:25,630 It's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate... 217 00:15:25,803 --> 00:15:28,670 ...the male form in all its glory. 218 00:15:28,906 --> 00:15:32,672 Okay, I'm uptight. That's why I don't wanna watch a middle-aged guy... 219 00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:37,747 ...dance around in what I can only assume is a child's Halloween costume. 220 00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:43,581 I may have borrowed this from my nephew... 221 00:15:43,754 --> 00:15:48,953 ...but let me assure you, what's underneath is all man. 222 00:15:49,126 --> 00:15:52,118 I'm sorry, did you say "all man" or "old man"? 223 00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:57,064 You're mean. 224 00:15:57,235 --> 00:15:59,328 - Look, officer-- Sir? - Damn it. 225 00:16:03,174 --> 00:16:06,837 Big surprise. The hunk of beef has feelings. 226 00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:11,348 Applause. 227 00:16:11,516 --> 00:16:15,316 Okay, Henrietta, you picked "Jack and Jill Went Up The Hill." 228 00:16:15,486 --> 00:16:18,478 My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes. 229 00:16:18,656 --> 00:16:23,252 Joey, describe these things associated with the United States Congress. 230 00:16:26,430 --> 00:16:28,421 Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. 231 00:16:28,633 --> 00:16:30,897 Ready? Go. 232 00:16:36,607 --> 00:16:37,631 Pass. 233 00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:40,099 Pass. 234 00:16:41,812 --> 00:16:43,712 Pass. 235 00:16:45,383 --> 00:16:47,283 - The thing hanging in your throat. - Uvula. 236 00:16:47,685 --> 00:16:49,016 Then pass. 237 00:16:50,788 --> 00:16:53,882 Okay. Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed... 238 00:16:54,058 --> 00:16:58,757 ...so that means, Gene, you are going to the Winner's Circle to try for $ 10,000. 239 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:02,764 And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani. 240 00:17:05,102 --> 00:17:06,694 Pass. 241 00:17:09,373 --> 00:17:11,739 Nope. You must be thinking of someone else. 242 00:17:11,909 --> 00:17:13,934 I was never in a band. 243 00:17:14,312 --> 00:17:16,337 You made out with Missy Goldberg? 244 00:17:16,514 --> 00:17:19,449 How could you do that after you promised me? 245 00:17:20,818 --> 00:17:22,149 Excuse me. 246 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,422 That didn't make us sound gay at all. 247 00:17:25,590 --> 00:17:28,787 - You broke the pact. - Ross, that was 16 years ago. 248 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,487 That doesn't matter. We're talking about the foundation of our friendship. 249 00:17:32,663 --> 00:17:36,622 I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. 250 00:17:38,803 --> 00:17:42,398 If we're really gonna do this, it's not like you never broke one of the pacts. 251 00:17:42,573 --> 00:17:44,097 - I didn't. - Oh, really? 252 00:17:44,275 --> 00:17:45,640 - No. - Oh, really? 253 00:17:45,810 --> 00:17:47,437 - No. - Adrienne Turner. 254 00:17:47,612 --> 00:17:49,170 Yes? 255 00:17:50,681 --> 00:17:52,444 - Hey, Adrienne. - Hey, Adrienne. Hey. 256 00:17:54,251 --> 00:17:56,481 I never did anything with Adrienne Turner. 257 00:17:56,654 --> 00:17:58,918 Oh, please. And you knew how much I liked her. 258 00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:01,058 I don't know what you're talking about. 259 00:18:01,225 --> 00:18:03,159 Really? Remember that party freshman year? 260 00:18:03,327 --> 00:18:05,921 A week before Christmas vacation? I do. 261 00:18:06,097 --> 00:18:08,463 You had some visitors. 262 00:18:14,939 --> 00:18:17,669 I can't believe we're at a real college party. 263 00:18:17,842 --> 00:18:20,140 I have to pee so bad. 264 00:18:20,311 --> 00:18:22,506 This is so awesome. 265 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,978 College guys are so cute. 266 00:18:25,149 --> 00:18:27,709 - Hey, you've got a boyfriend. - I know. 267 00:18:27,918 --> 00:18:32,981 But if a guy who looks like Corey Haim wants to kiss me, I am so gonna let him. 268 00:18:34,525 --> 00:18:37,187 Hey, look, there's Chandler. 269 00:18:39,630 --> 00:18:42,861 That stupid friend of Ross' who said I was fat. 270 00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:46,026 - I've already lost four pounds. - You can so totally tell. 271 00:18:46,203 --> 00:18:48,034 I know! 272 00:18:49,373 --> 00:18:51,864 Well, let's see, maybe he knows where Ross is. 273 00:18:54,612 --> 00:18:56,910 Hey, how's it going? 274 00:18:57,114 --> 00:18:58,479 - Aren't you...? - Yeah, Rachel. 275 00:18:58,649 --> 00:19:02,551 And this is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. 276 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,813 Right. So how you doing? 277 00:19:04,989 --> 00:19:06,547 Bitchen. 278 00:19:07,625 --> 00:19:09,718 - Hi, Monica. - Hi, Chandler. 279 00:19:09,894 --> 00:19:13,091 It's really nice to see you. Not! 280 00:19:15,266 --> 00:19:16,756 Okay. 281 00:19:16,934 --> 00:19:19,095 I'll see if I can find Ross. 282 00:19:19,870 --> 00:19:22,361 Oh, my God, Rach. Beanbag chairs. 283 00:19:23,107 --> 00:19:27,271 Do not let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days. 284 00:19:31,782 --> 00:19:35,582 Listen, Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this. 285 00:19:35,753 --> 00:19:40,019 Oh, believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this. 286 00:19:41,425 --> 00:19:43,052 Cool. 287 00:19:48,499 --> 00:19:50,865 No way. 288 00:19:54,338 --> 00:19:56,602 I didn't know you knew about that. 289 00:19:56,807 --> 00:19:59,401 Well, I did. And it hurt. 290 00:19:59,577 --> 00:20:03,172 That's when I wrote the song "Betrayal in the Common Room." 291 00:20:05,449 --> 00:20:09,317 That's why that song had so much power. 292 00:20:15,459 --> 00:20:18,019 Man, I'm sorry. 293 00:20:18,195 --> 00:20:21,392 Look, that was a long time ago. 294 00:20:21,565 --> 00:20:26,264 So I made out with Adrienne, and you made out with Missy. 295 00:20:27,037 --> 00:20:28,664 Well, I guess we're even. 296 00:20:33,744 --> 00:20:35,439 We are even, right? 297 00:20:38,082 --> 00:20:42,178 One more thing. I was so pissed at you that night, I wanted to get back at you. 298 00:20:42,353 --> 00:20:45,720 So I thought, "Who does Ross like more than anybody?" 299 00:20:47,892 --> 00:20:51,020 What did you do to my mom? 300 00:20:55,299 --> 00:20:56,926 Not her. 301 00:21:12,516 --> 00:21:14,541 I am so drunk. 302 00:21:15,753 --> 00:21:20,690 That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and don't feel anything. 303 00:21:21,158 --> 00:21:23,023 So you girls having fun? 304 00:21:23,194 --> 00:21:25,355 For your information, ass-munch... 305 00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:30,190 ...I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing. 306 00:21:32,203 --> 00:21:34,603 - Somebody order a pizza? - Oh, that's me! 307 00:21:37,908 --> 00:21:42,208 I am so not gonna do good on my SATs tomorrow. 308 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,982 Well, maybe you could go to school here next year and we could totally hang out. 309 00:21:47,184 --> 00:21:48,708 Oh, yeah. There's a plan. 310 00:21:48,886 --> 00:21:52,287 Why don't I just start taking my smart pills now. 311 00:21:52,456 --> 00:21:55,118 Well, maybe you could get in on a beauty scholarship. 312 00:21:56,460 --> 00:21:58,223 What a line. 313 00:22:02,299 --> 00:22:05,325 - So where are you applying to? - Well... 314 00:22:05,502 --> 00:22:09,632 ...l think it's kind of really important that I go somewhere where there's sun. 315 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,707 So I'm sort of-- Hey! 316 00:22:13,043 --> 00:22:14,670 I'm in college, and I'm in a band. 317 00:22:15,779 --> 00:22:17,747 Yeah, okay. 318 00:22:22,686 --> 00:22:27,316 What's the matter? You never saw a 50-year-old stripper cry before? 319 00:22:29,159 --> 00:22:30,922 You know, it's fine. We'll pay you. 320 00:22:31,095 --> 00:22:34,326 No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? 321 00:22:34,498 --> 00:22:38,400 I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. 322 00:22:42,406 --> 00:22:45,273 Half the time, it just pops off by itself. 323 00:22:48,145 --> 00:22:51,444 Maybe now is a good time for cake and presents. 324 00:22:51,882 --> 00:22:54,646 What am I gonna do? I mean... 325 00:22:54,818 --> 00:22:57,548 ...this has been my life for 32 years. 326 00:22:57,721 --> 00:23:01,919 Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know. 327 00:23:02,326 --> 00:23:05,193 No, there's got to be something else that you can do. 328 00:23:05,362 --> 00:23:07,887 I mean, what skills do you have? 329 00:23:08,065 --> 00:23:09,896 I don't know. 330 00:23:10,467 --> 00:23:13,561 I can make my pecs dance. 331 00:23:17,574 --> 00:23:20,907 I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks. 332 00:23:22,579 --> 00:23:27,414 I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame. 333 00:23:29,386 --> 00:23:32,048 So maybe something in an office. 334 00:23:33,324 --> 00:23:35,792 Or you could-- You could teach stripping. 335 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,293 You know, share your gift. Pass the torch. 336 00:23:41,398 --> 00:23:43,992 You know, actually, that's not a bad idea. 337 00:23:44,168 --> 00:23:48,537 I could do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind. 338 00:23:49,606 --> 00:23:52,200 There you go. Okay. You think you're gonna be okay? 339 00:23:52,376 --> 00:23:54,401 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. 340 00:23:54,578 --> 00:23:56,808 This is so weird. 341 00:23:56,981 --> 00:23:59,506 You never know when it's gonna be your last dance. 342 00:24:00,851 --> 00:24:03,877 And I didn't even get a chance to finish it. 343 00:24:07,524 --> 00:24:09,014 Finish it. 344 00:24:10,728 --> 00:24:14,164 - What? - Your last dance. Do it for us. 345 00:24:15,366 --> 00:24:18,062 - Really? - Really? 346 00:24:19,436 --> 00:24:24,464 Yeah. Yeah, he deserves to do the thing he loves one last time. 347 00:24:25,676 --> 00:24:28,440 Okay. All right. Get ready, ladies. 348 00:24:28,612 --> 00:24:30,477 Okay. 349 00:25:02,813 --> 00:25:05,077 Oh, this is so hot! 350 00:25:09,887 --> 00:25:11,855 Oh, no, don't stop. 351 00:25:12,056 --> 00:25:14,081 Have to. 352 00:25:18,195 --> 00:25:20,823 I am so sorry that you have to do this with me. 353 00:25:20,998 --> 00:25:24,490 Listen, I know this won't put your kid through college... 354 00:25:24,668 --> 00:25:27,262 ...but would you like a Days of our Lives mug? 355 00:25:27,438 --> 00:25:30,100 We're back in five, four, three, two.... 356 00:25:30,274 --> 00:25:32,003 Applause. 357 00:25:33,043 --> 00:25:35,876 Welcome to the Winner's Circle. Joey, Gene, you guys ready? 358 00:25:36,046 --> 00:25:38,378 - Yeah. - Sure. 359 00:25:39,016 --> 00:25:41,951 Okay. Give me 60 seconds on the clock, please. 360 00:25:43,620 --> 00:25:44,951 Ready? Go. 361 00:25:46,623 --> 00:25:49,114 Oak. Maple. Elm. Birch. 362 00:25:49,293 --> 00:25:51,124 I don't know. Types of trees...? 363 00:25:54,231 --> 00:25:57,394 Buenos dias. Enchilada. Por favor. 364 00:25:57,568 --> 00:26:00,469 Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know any Spanish words. 365 00:26:02,773 --> 00:26:04,263 A match. A candle. 366 00:26:04,441 --> 00:26:06,432 Things that go: when you put them out. 367 00:26:06,643 --> 00:26:08,838 A torch. A bonfire. 368 00:26:09,046 --> 00:26:11,810 - Your pee. - Things that burn. 369 00:26:13,851 --> 00:26:16,513 "I'd like to go for a walk." "Scratch my belly." 370 00:26:16,687 --> 00:26:18,621 Dude. Dude, I think you're losing it. 371 00:26:18,789 --> 00:26:21,519 "I have fur." "I like to bark." 372 00:26:21,692 --> 00:26:22,954 What a dog says. 373 00:26:24,628 --> 00:26:26,118 - Pepperoni. - Pizza toppings! 374 00:26:27,531 --> 00:26:30,295 Cindy Crawford. Christie Brinkley. Heidi Klum. 375 00:26:32,769 --> 00:26:35,135 Claudia Schiffer. Christy Turlington. Kate Moss. 376 00:26:35,305 --> 00:26:37,603 Girls Chandler could never get? 377 00:26:37,808 --> 00:26:39,867 - Supermodels. - Where? 378 00:26:44,915 --> 00:26:46,473 I can't believe you're so upset. 379 00:26:46,650 --> 00:26:48,550 What do you mean? You kissed Rachel. 380 00:26:48,719 --> 00:26:52,416 Ross, she was so drunk she didn't even remember it the next day. 381 00:26:52,589 --> 00:26:55,251 Plus, I should tell you, it did not last long. 382 00:26:58,428 --> 00:26:59,486 Hey! 383 00:27:00,063 --> 00:27:01,462 I'm in college, and I'm in a band. 384 00:27:01,632 --> 00:27:03,600 Yeah, okay. 385 00:27:13,744 --> 00:27:16,372 And now I've killed one. 386 00:27:21,084 --> 00:27:22,574 Hey. Where's Rachel? 387 00:27:22,753 --> 00:27:25,551 She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital. 388 00:27:27,457 --> 00:27:30,949 Sounds like your elegant tea party went off just as planned. 389 00:27:31,161 --> 00:27:33,459 Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel? 390 00:27:33,664 --> 00:27:35,723 What? When was this? 391 00:27:35,899 --> 00:27:37,867 Last week. We had some wine and.... 392 00:27:40,170 --> 00:27:41,831 You don't know I'm kidding. 393 00:27:43,907 --> 00:27:45,431 1987. 394 00:27:45,609 --> 00:27:48,100 The weekend you guys visited me at school. 395 00:27:48,278 --> 00:27:51,770 - Oh, my God. That's wild. - But it was, like, a million years ago. 396 00:27:51,982 --> 00:27:53,745 - It doesn't matter. - It matters to me. 397 00:27:53,917 --> 00:27:56,112 - Why? - Because the night you kissed Rachel... 398 00:27:56,286 --> 00:27:59,346 ...was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time. 399 00:27:59,523 --> 00:28:03,015 - You kissed her that night too? - Two guys in one night? 400 00:28:03,193 --> 00:28:06,924 Oh, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed. 401 00:28:08,131 --> 00:28:10,224 - Seriously, where did this happen? - Okay... 402 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,960 ...after you told me she was passed out in our room... 403 00:28:13,136 --> 00:28:15,536 ...l went in there to make sure she was all right. 404 00:28:15,706 --> 00:28:19,403 She was lying on my bed, all buried in people's coats. 405 00:28:19,576 --> 00:28:21,441 I went to kiss her on the forehead... 406 00:28:21,612 --> 00:28:24,046 ...but it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. 407 00:28:24,214 --> 00:28:27,809 I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. 408 00:28:28,018 --> 00:28:31,146 It was only for a second, but it was amazing. 409 00:28:31,321 --> 00:28:34,779 And now I find out that you kissed her first. 410 00:28:34,992 --> 00:28:38,155 - Wait, what bed did you say she was on? - Mine. 411 00:28:38,328 --> 00:28:41,627 - I'm sure I put her on my bed. - No, she was definitely on my bed. 412 00:28:41,798 --> 00:28:44,733 Why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed? 413 00:28:45,535 --> 00:28:47,059 Well, then who was on my bed? 414 00:28:51,041 --> 00:28:52,838 No! No! 415 00:28:53,010 --> 00:28:55,410 Yes! 416 00:28:55,579 --> 00:28:59,982 - You were under the pile of coats? - I was the pile of coats! 417 00:29:03,287 --> 00:29:05,551 Oh, my God! 418 00:29:06,056 --> 00:29:09,548 You were my midnight mystery kisser?! 419 00:29:10,661 --> 00:29:13,357 You were my first kiss with Rachel?! 420 00:29:14,464 --> 00:29:17,092 You were my first kiss ever?! 421 00:29:19,503 --> 00:29:22,097 What did I marry into?! 422 00:29:56,406 --> 00:29:58,203 Crap!