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Episode 5x10: The End
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It's kind of small in there.
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Yeah, but it's not for you it's for your nanny, right?
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It's for my nanny. You're right.
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All right, how much?
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Whatever you think is fair.
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- Really?
- Yeah.
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I'm shocked.
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All right, um, you know what?
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I'll find the blue book value and that's what I'll give you.
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- You got a deal, my big friend.
- All right, my friend.
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- All right.
- Good.
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- Oh my gosh!
- Congratulations.
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- You bought yourself a great car.
- Oh, hold on a second.
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Louis Lewis has just come out of his coma.
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Okay, so what happens now?
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Oh yeah, oh that's a great idea.
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Yeah, no, invite anybody you want.
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Yeah, let's go all the way.
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Okay, I'll see you tonight. All right, bye.
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I'm going to a party tonight
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my friends are throwing for me 'cause I'm getting out of here,
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and I would like you to go with me.
- Okay.
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- Yes?
- Yeah.
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Wow.
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Hey, what are you gonna do about your cousin who needs a kidney?
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- What, Ritchie?
- Yeah.
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Well, so we'll find him a kidney.
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- What about yours?
- What, are you crazy?
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I'm not giving anybody my kidney. I just woke up.
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I'm gonna give things out now?
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- That's very selfish.
- Selfish?
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- Yeah.
- Hey, let me ask you a question.
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You know, I heard that you come in and out of here all the time
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and I don't understand that.
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I hardly know you.
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I met you briefly once at Ritchie's house and
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they tell me you're in here all the time.
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I visit people in the hospital
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and I cheer them up. I go around, I do volunteer work.
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And I knew you were here so I stopped in to see you.
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Well I'll tell you something, you don't have to cheer me up
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because I'm cheered up.
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It pays to be in a coma, I'm telling you.
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I've never felt so refreshed in my life.
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- Oh, really?
- You know those bears, they had it right.
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They go into hibernation, they come out like new bears.
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Everybody should do this.
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Congratulations again on the...
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getting out of the coma.
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You should've seen him walking down that hall.
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It was like the specter of death.
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And then he passed me and he looked at me.
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I'm haunted by that look.
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Have you seen the, uh, case for the Soprano's DVD?
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No.
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I can't find it anywhere.
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Did you do something with it?
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No, I didn't do anything with it.
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If you're blaming this on me, you're barking up the wrong tree, okay?
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I have a system.
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When I watch a DVD, I put the case on top of the DVD player.
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Then when I'm done, I take the DVD,
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I put it back in the case, and then I put it back on the shelf.
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Well, your system's breaking down.
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- My system is foolproof.
- There's no case on top of the DVD player.
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Well, you're the one, probably, who took it out and didn't put it back.
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Don't blame it on me.
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I mean, I'm not even that friendly with him.
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Yeah, I know him 44 years, but we're not really close friends.
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He's more of an acquaintance.
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Who gives a kidney to an acquaintance?
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I just feel like if we're going to watch DVD's
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that we should keep the case nearby
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so we don't end up with just the...
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Do you have any sympathy at all for what I'm going through?
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It doesn't seem like you do. Okay?
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Hello?
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Oh, okay, um,
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yeah, all right, I'll... I'll see you tomorrow.
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All right, thanks.
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- Huh.
- What?
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That was Omar Jones.
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He said he has some information for me.
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He wants me to come to the office tomorrow.
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So, Mr. David, I've got some very very interesting news
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for you about your case.
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Turns out you were right.
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You are, in fact, adopted.
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Now your biological parents are Mr. And Mrs. Cone,
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and they currently reside in Bisbee, Arizona.
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They're awaiting your call.
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Please notice this aircraft has three emergency exits
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located in the rear, center and forward sections of the cabin.
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Passengers seated in these...
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Hi. Um, listen,
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I can't really sit here by the emergency door exit.
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I think you better get someone else.
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Okay, Sir we're about three minutes away from wheels up.
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So you need to just stay put, okay? 'Cause we got a full plane.
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You don't understand. If something happens we won't be able to get out.
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- Calm down, okay?
- I cannot do it. I will panic.
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We will go down.
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All we need to know is that you're willing to assist passengers
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in the event of a non-traditional landing.
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I cannot be of any help whatsoever
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in any kind of non-traditional landing or any traditional landing.
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- Did you read the brochure?
- Read the brochure?
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I can't read that brochure. It's Chinese to me.
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I'm sorry, are you Chinese?
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You look a little Asian. I'm sorry.
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It's just an expression.
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I don't think you are Chinese. You look maybe Thai?
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Is it the seat or are you just scared to fly?
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No, I choke under pressure. In any kind of game...
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basketball, if I was on the foul line towards,
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like the last five minutes of the game, I would miss the entire rim.
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I couldn't even hit the rim!
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'Cause I was choking.
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Choking.
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Sir, how about I get you a drink? Would you like a Merlot?
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No thank you, I don't drink. I don't drink.
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Just please find somebody else to sit here.
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I'll look for a seat for you but you owe me one, Mister.
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Thank you.
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I mean, it's ridiculous. I don't want to sit here.
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Why is she giving me a hard time? Just find somebody else.
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Who the hell knows how to do this thing?
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What, pull down? What is that gonna do?
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Can I pull down? Do you have to be strong? I don't even know.
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Then what do you do? You smash this thing?
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What happens then? The door just suddenly opens miraculously?
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You're not Chinese. You don't look Chinese.
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What are you, Thai? I think you're thai. You're thai?
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I knew it.
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- Son.
- Dad.
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Gosh. Come on in.
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Well, I had just come out of the navy and, uh...
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- just gotten out, yeah.
- That's right, we met in Times Square and
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she was the prettiest girl there so I kissed her.
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And, before long,
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we had a baby.
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But, we didn't have any money and...
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well, we just didn't know what to do.
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We were just so young and just...
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- I understand.
- You know?
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You remember anything about the people who you,
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what, adopted me?
- Who adopted you? Yeah, we met them.
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The guy was a little nervous and jumpy.
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He was all over the place. Jumpy, fidgety.
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Fidgety guy?
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Kind of talked like that a little bit?
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He did kind of.
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- That's exactly right.
- He really has it, doesn't he?
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I remember that, yeah.
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And she was lovely, but she was a little loud.
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But she... she sort of ruled the roost.
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- Oh yeah.
- But you knew she was a good woman.
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You wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of her, though.
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- No, you wouldn't.
- Yeah.
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And they... they wanted a baby so badly.
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Tell me a little bit about where you're from, Brooklyn?
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Oh, no no no. I'm from Illinois.
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Yeah, and I'm from Virginia.
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- I was born and raised in Virginia.
- There, yeah.
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So, so we're both sort of midwestern, southern.
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My people came from,
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oh, England and Scotland.
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Been here for hundreds of years.
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How do you spell your last name?
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C-o-n-e.
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Oh my god.
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I'm gentile.
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Hey look, Dave. Hi Dave, how you doing?
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I want you to meet our son. This is Larry.
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- Larry, nice to meet you.
- Hi, nice to meet you, Dave.
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- How are you today?
- He's a Chevrolet dealer here.
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How come my dad bought one of those?
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- I don't know, I can't help that.
- I'm in trouble.
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- Hi, June.
- Hi, Jenny.
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- Good to see you.
- Hi, Jenny.
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- This is Larry, our son Larry.
- Larry, nice to meet you.
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- Pleasure to meet you.
- Enjoying our town?
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Oh, I love it. It's beautiful.
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- Hey, hi Wilson.
- Hi.
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This is our son Larry.
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- Hi, Wilson.
- I didn't know you had a son.
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We do now.
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- Are you sticking around?
- I think I might.
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- Isn't that nice?
- Nice little town.
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You're gonna like it here.
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- Good afternoon.
- Afternoon.
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I noticed you're selling your car here.
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Yep, lettin' her go.
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You interested?
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Well, no I'm not. But may I ask how you arrived at that price?
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Sure, that's the actual blue book value.
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- That's the blue book value?
- Yeah, right there.
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Huh, I sold a prius to a friend of mine
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and he told me the blue book value was $5,000 less than that.
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Ouch.
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Larry, what's wrong?
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My friend took advantage of me, mom.
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Oh, I know it hurts son,
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but you must practice love and forgiveness.
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Give him the benefit of the doubt.
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That's what Jesus would do.
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Hey, I gotta bite, pop.
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I got... I got it. I got one.
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You did it!
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Good, son.
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Chug, chug, chug, chug...
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Wow, this really looks yummy.
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We have, we have to say grace first, Larry.
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Dear Lord, we thank you for this bountiful meal.
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We thank you for the love of each other.
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And most of all, we thank you for our son, Larry,
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that he's able to be with us here today, having this great meal.
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Amen.
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- Amen.
- Amen.
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- What do you got there?
- Sign of the cross.
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Oh, nose, toes...
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- nose?
- ... and watch, wallet.
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Nose, toes...
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except I keep my watch and wallet on the same side.
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- I don't think it's gonna work.
- Oh, Larry.
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All right, nose, toes, I'll just move my wallet to the right side.
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- That's simple.
- That's it, right?
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One, two, three, four. I kind of like that.
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Right, that's it. You have it. Yeah.
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- That's it?
- That's it. Dig in, Larry.
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All right.
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Oh, Larry.
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Go, tell it on the mountain
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Over the hills and everywhere
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Go, tell it on the mountain,
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That Jesus Christ is born.
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While sheperds kept their watching
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O'er silent flocks by night
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Behold throughout the heavens
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There shone a holy light.
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Go, tell it on the mountain
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Over the hills and everywhere
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Go, tell it on the mountain,
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That Jesus Christ is born.
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My friends,
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I want to speak to you on this beautiful sunday morning
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about a relationship in our lives that we sometimes take for granted.
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We have our family.
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We have our husbands, wives, children,
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and all the extended relatives of that family.
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But there is another bond,
253
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:43,300
and that is the bond of friendship.
254
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,800
Think of all that it implies.
255
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:51,000
The caring, the compassion, the devotion to loyalty,
256
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:55,200
and above all, perhaps, to the generosity of spirit.
257
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,200
We must all ask ourselves,
258
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,900
am I a good friend?
259
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:09,300
Am I giving the friend in need what he needs most?
260
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:14,000
Have I sacrificed my own well-being for the sake of him,
261
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,600
or have I let my own selfish needs
262
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,000
stand in the way of being his best friend.
263
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,700
My friends...
264
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:24,700
- Mom, dad.
- give whenever the opportunity arises...
265
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,800
I have to go.
266
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,800
... and taste the joy that is god's reward.
267
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,300
Please notice this aircraft has three emergency exits
268
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:39,000
located in the rear, center and forward sections of the cabin.
269
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,800
Passengers seated in these exit rows agree to assist in the event of emergency.
270
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,500
If for any reason a passenger seated in the exit row...
271
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:48,000
- Well, hello again.
- Oh, hi there.
272
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,400
Hi. I'll go ahead and get you another seat, okay?
273
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,300
Oh, won't hear of it.
274
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:54,000
You can depend on me, ma'am.
275
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,500
I won't let you down.
276
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:58,800
- I got it covered.
- Really?
277
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,300
Oh and, uh, be a dear, would you and get me a gin and tonic.
278
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:04,100
S ure.
279
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,300
Nice day for flight.
280
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:28,200
You can have my kidney.
281
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:32,700
Oh, I love you man. I knew you'd come through. You're a hero.
282
00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:34,500
It's okay buddy. Everything's gonna be okay.
283
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:37,100
Oh, I hope so. Thank you man.
284
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,400
Oh god.
285
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,700
- Hey?
- Huh?
286
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,000
- What's that?
- What's that what?
287
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,700
- What's this putter?
- Larry, thank you.
288
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,100
Have you always had this?
289
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,900
Yeah, I've had these for a while, you know.
290
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:52,200
I borrowed this from my friend a few weeks ago
291
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,600
and I played out of my mind with it.
292
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,200
I've been looking all over for this.
293
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,600
You can't even get them anymore.
294
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,800
My god, I love this putter.
295
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,200
Yeah, I know, it's pretty great.
296
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,200
Um, would it be okay if I borrowed this for a while?
297
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,400
Mmm, I don't think so.
298
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,200
What?
299
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,500
I've... I've lost a lot of clubs.
300
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,900
I've lent them out through the years...
301
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:15,400
I'm not going to do anything. I'll take really good care of it, believe me.
302
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,900
- I can't lend them out anymore.
- I don't get that.
303
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:20,300
Come on, I'll take good care of it, I promise.
304
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:23,300
No, I'm sure you will. But I... I prefer you didn't.
305
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,800
I'm... I'm about...
306
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:28,900
What?
307
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,000
I completely understand. I... I...
308
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:36,900
- I respect your decisions.
- Really?
309
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:38,800
I still love you.
310
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:41,700
God bless you.
311
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,100
Jesus Christ.
312
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:53,100
Cheryl?
313
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,900
- Yeah?
- I'm home.
314
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,500
How are you?
315
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,000
Good to see you.
316
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,800
Oh my god.
317
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:05,800
What?
318
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,600
I love you. I love you.
319
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,600
Mmm, I love you so much.
320
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,700
- I love you.
- Okay.
321
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:21,200
What are you wearing? Is this a sweater vest?
322
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,500
- I've been doing a lot of thinking.
- Hm-mm.
323
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:28,300
I want to have children.
324
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,600
Lots of them.
325
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,100
Well, let's talk about that.
326
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:39,100
We... we, uh, that deserves a discussion, I think.
327
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,400
We can talk about it tonight over dinner.
328
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,800
Okay.
329
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,700
And then I'll tell you all about them.
330
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:46,700
Yeah, maybe you could, uh...
331
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:50,500
you know, take your tie off.
332
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:55,400
I know why God
333
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,400
saved me from drowning a few months ago.
334
00:19:58,900 --> 00:19:59,900
Why?
335
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:04,100
He wanted me to give Lewis my kidney.
336
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,800
And I'm going to.
337
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:16,400
Gotta say, man,
338
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,400
you are very, very calm, bro.
339
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,500
God will watch over me.
340
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:24,000
Hmm. He didn't watch over the last guy.
341
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,300
But you're a lucky man.
342
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:29,300
You're giving away a kidney.
343
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:32,300
The recipient is going to love you, man.
344
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:35,000
- Really?
- You're gonna have your own personal slave,
345
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,200
is what it is. You could be in China and sneeze
346
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,800
and he'll bring you a tissue.
347
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:43,100
Well, that may be true of others. I don't think with him, though.
348
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,800
He wouldn't even loan me a putter, actually.
349
00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:49,500
You're giving him a kidney, he wouldn't loan you his putter?
350
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,900
Well, you know people get very attached to their golf clubs.
351
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:54,900
- It's understandable.
- You're not attached to your kidney?
352
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,100
That's fucked up, man.
353
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,600
Larry, I gotta tell ya,
354
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,000
I'm too weak to really express it and articulate it,
355
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,000
but this is the greatest thing that anyone's ever done for me.
356
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,200
I'll do anything for you for the rest of your life.
357
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,200
Just ask me anything and I'll do it for you, I promise.
358
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,000
Anything except loan him your putter.
359
00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:44,300
You told him about the putter?
360
00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:47,900
No, it was an innocent conversation.
361
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,100
Why would you even bring it up under the circumstances?
362
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:52,700
- I actually defended you.
- Mr. David.
363
00:21:52,700 --> 00:21:55,100
Defend me? Why don't you call E.T. or Pat O'Brien?
364
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:57,100
- Mr. David!
- I mean, how dare you?
365
00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:59,400
What, you have to gossip? What kind of person are you?
366
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,300
- There's been a big, big mistake, okay?
- Huh?
367
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:05,300
The Cones, they're not your parents.
368
00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:06,600
You're not adopted.
369
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,300
- What are you talking about?
- You're not adopted.
370
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:11,700
- I'm not adopted?
- No. Sorry.
371
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:13,700
- What's going on here?
- What do you mean I'm not adopted?
372
00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:16,500
- What's going on here?
- If you need anything, just let me know, okay?
373
00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:18,800
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I am.
374
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,800
Good luck with the surgery.
375
00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:28,100
I can't... I can't do this.
376
00:22:28,100 --> 00:22:30,600
Oh, no no! I'm not adopted.
377
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,000
Get me out of here! Get me the fuck out of here!
378
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,100
- Who is that guy?
- I can't do this!
379
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:38,100
- What the hell are you... stop it!
- What about my kidney?
380
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,500
I got... I don't... I can't die.
381
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:43,500
Hey, stay here. What are you doing?
382
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:54,900
You're the best. You're the best.
383
00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:01,000
- Hey.
- Let's go.
384
00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:20,000
You really low-balled me on that car.
385
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:27,000
You paid me $5,000 less than the blue book.
386
00:23:27,900 --> 00:23:30,900
I looked in the wrong book, I guess, um.
387
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:34,500
I want you to give the $5,000 to Cher...
388
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:35,500
to Cheryl.
389
00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:38,000
I'll give the $5,000 to Cheryl.
390
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,000
Okay.
391
00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:52,700
See?
392
00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:56,700
This is what you get from doing good deeds.
393
00:23:57,900 --> 00:24:00,200
I avoided good deeds my whole life.
394
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,700
Turns out I was right.
395
00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:04,400
You're right.
396
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:05,900
Larry, the rabbi is here.
397
00:24:05,900 --> 00:24:07,400
The rabbi.
398
00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:10,800
Rabbi.
399
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:13,700
Larry, what can I say?
400
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:17,900
I'm still young, Rabbi.
401
00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:19,700
I thought when god takes someone young
402
00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:22,600
they're usually a good person.
403
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,300
That's the one thing I had going for me.
404
00:24:25,300 --> 00:24:30,000
Well god is... is apparently making an exception in your case.
405
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,900
Larry, is your house in order?
406
00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:37,700
I mean you should have everything settled by now.
407
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:39,300
My business manager, Matt.
408
00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:42,300
- I... I worked things out with him.
- Good, good.
409
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,700
I supposed I could have traveled more.
410
00:24:46,700 --> 00:24:49,700
- Yeah.
- But where was I gonna go?
411
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,800
I went to Europe once.
412
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:54,000
No big deal.
413
00:24:55,700 --> 00:24:59,600
The truth is, Rabbi, I can't stand packing.
414
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,000
You know, Larry,
415
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,000
we all have moments in our life when
416
00:25:07,500 --> 00:25:10,200
we've acted out of thoughtlessness and
417
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,200
we've been inconsiderate to other people.
418
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,400
Is there anybody, right now, that you can think of
419
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,400
you'd like to ask for forgiveness and
420
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,000
make right with?
421
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,400
When you walk through my door, you play by my rules.
422
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,400
You take off your fucking shoes!
423
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,800
Devoted sister? Beloved cunt?
424
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:30,500
He's a racist.
425
00:25:30,500 --> 00:25:33,500
A bona fide racist who preferred not to work with any black people
426
00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:34,900
under any circumstances.
427
00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:35,800
You fucked up.
428
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,300
Larry, you ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary.
429
00:25:38,300 --> 00:25:40,300
- You were following my wife?!
- I wasn't following her!
430
00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:41,700
She called the cops on you.
431
00:25:41,700 --> 00:25:42,900
What do you mean to... look at me.
432
00:25:42,900 --> 00:25:45,700
You knew that my brother-in-law died on September 11th.
433
00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:47,400
How dare you say something like that?
434
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,700
See, if this were yours it would say, "fucking douche bag".
435
00:25:50,700 --> 00:25:54,800
You mother-fucking, cock-sucking son of a bitch bastard!
436
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,800
I will body-slam you so hard, that you will poop your bald pants.
437
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,700
You need a good fucking ass kicking.
438
00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:01,700
That's what you need.
439
00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:03,400
You want to name our baby "Tang"?
440
00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:05,700
Hey! Hold the door!
441
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,900
No, this is my jacket!
442
00:26:20,100 --> 00:26:21,100
What are you, crazy?
443
00:26:22,100 --> 00:26:24,100
- Stop it!
- My neck! My neck!
444
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,000
- Don't push me again, you stupid...
- Larry!
445
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,100
- Get him, Joseph!
- Take it back!
446
00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:33,200
This is ours. This is ours.
447
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,700
- Kill him, Joseph. Kill him!
- Shut up, Mary.
448
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,500
You're a disgrace to your people.
449
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,200
Fuck you.
450
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,400
Motherfucker, what the fuck?
451
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,800
Larry, you piece of shit.
452
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,300
- You be quiet, big nose.
- Go fuck yourself.
453
00:26:48,300 --> 00:26:49,800
- Freak you.
- Freak you!
454
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,000
- Asshole.
- Thanks for nothing.
455
00:26:51,700 --> 00:26:52,800
Get out right now!
456
00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:57,000
Good boy!
457
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,000
Banzai!
458
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:05,400
Nah.
459
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:10,800
Jeff.
460
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,700
You know,
461
00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:20,100
I've never said anything,
462
00:27:20,100 --> 00:27:24,400
but I've noticed, you use way too much mayo.
463
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,400
You know, when they make tuna,
464
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,000
there's already mayo in it.
465
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:33,000
You don't have to put it on the bread.
466
00:27:35,300 --> 00:27:38,100
I'll use less mayo, I promise.
467
00:27:38,100 --> 00:27:40,100
Also...
468
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:45,200
you really never should have let me do that Seinfeld "tv guide" cover.
469
00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:48,200
I really looked like an asshole.
470
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,400
My mistake. I'm so sorry.
471
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,000
- Anything else?
- No.
472
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,000
Okay.
473
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:57,600
Dad.
474
00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:05,800
I'm sorry about the adoption.
475
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,700
You're... you're what?
476
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,600
The adop... the adoption.
477
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,200
The doc... the doctor?
478
00:28:14,300 --> 00:28:17,000
ad... adoption.
479
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,000
You want a doctor?
480
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:20,500
A doctor?
481
00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:23,200
- Mr. David...
- He... he wants... I guess he wants a doctor.
482
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,200
Yeah, why don't you step... step right back here.
483
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,500
Lar.
484
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:33,900
Cheryl.
485
00:28:37,900 --> 00:28:40,100
I know it's gonna be...
486
00:28:40,100 --> 00:28:43,100
a long time till I see you again,
487
00:28:43,900 --> 00:28:46,400
so would it be okay if...
488
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,200
I fooled around a little...
489
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,200
until you got there?
490
00:28:52,900 --> 00:28:54,400
Sure.
491
00:28:56,300 --> 00:28:58,300
Is there anything else?
492
00:29:00,100 --> 00:29:02,800
I know it was you
493
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,500
who misplaced that "Sopranos" DVD cover.
494
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,800
It couldn't have been me.
495
00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:14,100
I have a system.
496
00:29:15,100 --> 00:29:17,600
I... I have...
497
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,200
I have a system.
498
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:26,600
Larry?
499
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:08,200
Is there anything you can tell me about his will?
500
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,700
I mean, I know it's...
501
00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:14,500
it's awkward timing but he was very secretive for...
502
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,400
a while there at the end and I just...
- uh, Cheryl...
503
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,400
this 5,000... you want the $5,000?
504
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,600
- Of course.
- Cheryl, that's unreasonable. It really is.
505
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,900
He manipulated Jeff. Jeff had no choice but to say "yes".
506
00:30:27,900 --> 00:30:30,500
I just heard him say it was the blue book value on it.
507
00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:32,300
- It's a petty wish.
- You don't need the money.
508
00:30:32,300 --> 00:30:33,800
He's petty in life, he's petty in death.
509
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,700
It's not... That's not the point.
510
00:30:35,700 --> 00:30:37,100
Cheryl, you have a lot of money.
511
00:30:37,100 --> 00:30:40,100
- You said you were gonna give me...
- It was a... No, no, Cheryl.
512
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:45,500
He did not rip him off.
513
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,000
Hello.
514
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:46,700
We're your guides.
515
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,200
We've been watching you your whole life.
516
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:54,000
Please.
517
00:31:58,300 --> 00:32:01,800
- You're my guides?
- Yeah, but you are dead.
518
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,700
You did die.
519
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,800
You know Larry, you've got a lot of fans up here.
520
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,100
- Really?
- You've heard of Ponce de Leon?
521
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:14,800
- Yeah, the Spanish explorer.
- Yeah.
522
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,000
- I wrote a screenplay about him.
- He knows that. He loves it.
523
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:18,300
Get outta here.
524
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:22,200
Larry, Marilyn Monroe was a huge fan of the Seinfeld show.
525
00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:24,100
- What?
- It's true.
526
00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:25,400
- You're kidding.
- No.
527
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,400
She's very much looking forward to meeting you.
528
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,800
- Get out.
- She talks often of you.
529
00:32:31,500 --> 00:32:32,600
Marilyn Monroe?
530
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:34,300
- It's true, isn't it?
- The truth.
531
00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:37,900
It's your mother, Larry.
532
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,500
Say hello to your mother.
533
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,900
What kind of schmuck are you?!
534
00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:49,900
I mean, who goes around giving their kidney to people?
535
00:32:49,900 --> 00:32:51,000
Idiot!
536
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,900
And I'm surprised that your father let you do such a thing.
537
00:32:53,900 --> 00:32:55,500
Wait till I see him again.
538
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:57,400
Why did you tell dad not to bother me when you died?
539
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,400
- I missed your funeral.
- So what? What's so important?
540
00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:03,200
Why were you so happy when you thought you were adopted?
541
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:04,600
That's what I wanna know.
542
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,300
- I wasn't happy.
- Oh, don't give me that.
543
00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:08,200
- You were very happy.
- I was not happy.
544
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,000
- You were absolutely giddy.
- No, I was not giddy.
545
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,000
- Giddy? I was not giddy.
- You were giddy.
546
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:15,900
I'm not done with you yet, Buster.
547
00:33:18,900 --> 00:33:19,900
Hey, Larry.
548
00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:22,100
Come here.
549
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,800
Ben Hogan.
550
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:29,800
Yes, sir.
551
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:32,500
How you doing?
552
00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:34,500
Pretty good.
553
00:33:34,500 --> 00:33:36,700
You know, I've been watching your golf game.
554
00:33:36,700 --> 00:33:38,600
- You've seen me play?
- I have seen you play.
555
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,400
And let me tell you something.
556
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:41,400
You're moving your feet.
557
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,100
I know, Ben. I move my feet.
558
00:33:43,100 --> 00:33:46,000
Yeah, you know that sex offender had a good tip for you.
559
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,900
- I know. Dropping the club.
- Dropping your...
560
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:49,100
I can't do it, Ben.
561
00:33:49,100 --> 00:33:50,800
I can't. I've tried.
562
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,700
Why don't you come out with me? We'll shoot 18.
563
00:33:52,700 --> 00:33:54,500
I'll show you how it's done, huh?
564
00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:56,400
- There's golf here?
- Absolutely.
565
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,400
We got great courses up here.
566
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,600
- You got a date.
- I'll be waitin' for you.
567
00:34:06,100 --> 00:34:08,200
I'm playing golf with Ben Hogan.
568
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:09,500
It's called heaven.
569
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:11,000
Come on.
570
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,000
You guys, you've been around me my whole life?
571
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:13,700
Oh yeah.
572
00:34:13,700 --> 00:34:16,600
You were at the spin-the-bottle party when I ran out when I was 12
573
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,000
- 'cause I was...
- We were there.
574
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,000
Yes, I always wanted to ask you about that.
575
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,900
- Why were you so humiliated?
- I felt so humiliated.
576
00:34:21,900 --> 00:34:23,100
You should've stayed.
577
00:34:23,100 --> 00:34:25,200
I didn't... I couldn't kiss anybody. I didn't wanna kiss anybody.
578
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:26,900
- Nancy loved you then.
- I was scared.
579
00:34:26,900 --> 00:34:28,500
- Let me ask you something.
- Okay.
580
00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:30,700
Did you hear my wife telling me that I could...
581
00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:31,700
she said I could fool around?
582
00:34:31,700 --> 00:34:34,200
- Yes, we heard.
- You heard her say that, right?
583
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:37,100
All right, so, if you go on a date, where do you go?
584
00:34:37,100 --> 00:34:38,800
Are there restaurants? Are there movies?
585
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,000
Like, how does that work?
586
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,200
What do you do here all day?
587
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:44,200
- Larry, Larry...
- ... and what about this clothing?
588
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:47,200
- I need socks and underwear.
- You'll learn all that in due time.
589
00:34:47,500 --> 00:34:49,800
- Just be patient.
- I'm just asking a question.
590
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,000
We understand that.
591
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,800
So, if you're my guides,
592
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,800
then how come you let me eat those seven pieces of pizza at camp?
593
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,700
- Remember, I got sick and had to go home?
- Yes, we remember everything.
594
00:34:59,700 --> 00:35:01,400
Yeah, Larry, listen.
595
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:02,700
We're your guides.
596
00:35:03,300 --> 00:35:06,000
We can't actually control events.
597
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,600
When then, what's the point of the whole thing? I mean, who...
598
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,100
Why do I even need you? What does a guide do?
599
00:35:11,100 --> 00:35:12,500
I don't even get it.
600
00:35:13,100 --> 00:35:15,300
And what about going to the bathroom?
601
00:35:15,300 --> 00:35:19,400
Because, I notice I've been here a while and frankly I don't have to do anything.
602
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:20,900
And if that's the case...
603
00:35:21,900 --> 00:35:24,000
that's gonna be pretty good.
604
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,400
Pretty good.
605
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,900
- Oh, one more thing.
- Yes, what is it?
606
00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:31,000
- "The Sopranos" DVD cover...
- The cover.
607
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:32,400
Any idea?
608
00:35:32,900 --> 00:35:34,700
Did you look behind the couch, Larry?
609
00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:36,100
- Behind the couch?
- It's behind the couch.
610
00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:38,600
Did you once look behind the couch, Larry?
611
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,900
- You didn't, did you?
- Well, I didn't really look for it.
612
00:35:40,900 --> 00:35:42,400
Because you had a system.
613
00:35:42,700 --> 00:35:44,700
That's right. I have a system.
614
00:35:44,700 --> 00:35:46,100
I take the DVD...
615
00:35:46,100 --> 00:35:49,400
... cover and put it on top of the DVD player.
616
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,400
- Right, exactly.
- That's not a system.
617
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,600
- Oh, is that so?
- A system is...
618
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,100
is that you know you're gonna misplace the DVD
619
00:35:57,100 --> 00:35:59,800
so you get some DVD jackets,
620
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:03,300
just plain ones, and you have them there in case you lose a...
621
00:36:03,300 --> 00:36:04,000
that's a system.
622
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,800
- That's not a system.
- You keep the jackets in a folder.
623
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:07,300
It's a system.
- People misplace DVD's because...
624
00:36:07,300 --> 00:36:09,400
they take the cover and they put it someplace else.
625
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,200
And the people that misplace the DVD's
626
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,900
- have extra DVD jackets.
- Whoa, okay.
627
00:36:14,900 --> 00:36:16,400
- That's a system.
- No, that's not a system.
628
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,200
- Listen to your guide. You take the DVD...
- A little bit of respect.
629
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:22,200
Mr. Great guide who let me do that "tv guide" cover.
630
00:36:22,300 --> 00:36:23,900
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you.
631
00:36:23,900 --> 00:36:25,800
- Fuck you. Fuck you!
- Fuck you.
632
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:29,200
Okay, all right, okay. Take it easy. Just come over here and relax.
633
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,200
- What do you mean, relax?
- Okay, come on.
634
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,200
Larry, um...
635
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,800
we've decided that you're not really ready and we're...
636
00:36:57,900 --> 00:37:00,300
we're gonna send you back into your body.
637
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:02,400
- What?
- We're sending you back.
638
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,400
What, because I said something about the system?
639
00:37:05,500 --> 00:37:06,800
You're just not ready.
640
00:37:07,700 --> 00:37:09,300
Okay, maybe it isn't much of a system.
641
00:37:09,300 --> 00:37:11,900
You're right, it's not. It's a bad system.
642
00:37:11,900 --> 00:37:13,100
It's not a good system.
643
00:37:13,100 --> 00:37:14,900
- Goodbye, Larry.
- We're sorry.
644
00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:17,200
- Come on. That's not fair.
- Goodbye, Larry.
645
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:18,800
Goodbye, Larry.
646
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,000
Give me another chance.
647
00:37:21,300 --> 00:37:23,300
Wait wait, I like it here.
648
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,600
- Where you goin', Larry?
- Marilyn.
649
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:30,200
I was so looking forward to meeting you.
650
00:37:30,300 --> 00:37:33,200
I really love your sense of humor.
651
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,500
- Marilyn!
- Don't go, Larry.
652
00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:37,500
- Marilyn!
- Don't go.
653
00:37:42,100 --> 00:37:44,400
I'm not paying. I'm not paying.
654
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,500
Look, I'm not paying it. I'm not.
655
00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:47,500
- What?
- Oh my god.
656
00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:49,500
- Larry?
- My god.
657
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:56,700
Jesus.
658
00:37:58,500 --> 00:38:00,000
Oh my god.
659
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,300
You notice how in the movies
660
00:38:18,300 --> 00:38:20,800
they never fold when they're packing?
661
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,000
They just throw everything in.
662
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,800
- Hm-mm.
- It's not believable.
663
00:38:25,500 --> 00:38:28,300
- You know?
- It's not interesting to watch, really.
664
00:38:28,300 --> 00:38:29,500
Well, still,
665
00:38:30,300 --> 00:38:31,900
you have to pack the right way.
666
00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:34,100
People just don't crumple up their clothes
667
00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:35,900
and throw them in a suitcase. That's not real.
668
00:38:35,900 --> 00:38:37,100
I'm not buying that.
669
00:38:37,700 --> 00:38:38,900
You look good.
670
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:41,800
- You do.
- Really?
- Yeah, you look good,
671
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:42,800
you know?
672
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,600
You know, I gotta talk to the doctor.
673
00:38:46,900 --> 00:38:49,900
See if I got some clearance, some sex clearance.
674
00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:52,700
Do you have to get clearance for that?
675
00:38:52,700 --> 00:38:53,700
I think you do.
676
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,200
Needless to say, I'm quite prepared.
677
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,000
Okay. All right.
678
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,400
- What a thing, huh?
- Yeah.
679
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,100
How do you feel?
680
00:39:05,100 --> 00:39:07,100
You feel different after all this?
681
00:39:07,900 --> 00:39:10,300
You know, yeah.
682
00:39:10,300 --> 00:39:13,900
- I mean, come on, I'm a changed man.
- I know.
683
00:39:13,900 --> 00:39:16,600
- I'm a completely different person.
- That's true.
684
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:20,300
- You really feel like that now?
- Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
685
00:39:20,700 --> 00:39:22,200
- I know what you mean.
- You know what I mean?
686
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,700
- I don't need to say it, right?
- No, it's good. No no.
687
00:39:24,700 --> 00:39:27,600
- Oh, hey.
- Hey. Your chariot, sir.
688
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,700
- What's this?
- Hospital policy.
689
00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:31,300
You get to leave in a wheelchair.
690
00:39:31,300 --> 00:39:32,800
Hmm, all right.
691
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,600
- Let's do it.
- Let's do it.
692
00:39:41,900 --> 00:39:43,900
Very excited about this.
693
00:39:45,500 --> 00:39:46,700
Hello.
694
00:39:46,700 --> 00:39:49,000
- And, uh...
- Hey, you know what?
695
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,700
I think maybe I should use the bathroom before we go.
696
00:39:51,700 --> 00:39:54,200
- Okay.
- Let's try the handicapped.
697
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,000
- Larry.
- It's a rare opportunity, come on.
698
00:40:00,300 --> 00:40:02,800
Oh, someone must be in there.
699
00:40:04,300 --> 00:40:06,300
- Hey.
- Hey.
700
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,400
What's with the walking here?
701
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:12,900
I had to use the bathroom.
702
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,000
Okay, I get it.
703
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,200
That one was occupied.
704
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:18,900
I had to duck in here for a second.
705
00:40:18,900 --> 00:40:20,500
It was a bit of an emergency.
706
00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:22,600
Well then you wait.
707
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,100
You wait.
708
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,000
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