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Episode 5x07: The Seder
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Morning!
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- Need some help?
- Be great. That'd be great.
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Okay.
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Hey, I'll do it. Don't worry about it. Relax.
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- I got it.
- Nice, thank you.
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- What is this, grape juice?
- Yes, grape juice.
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- You guys drink grape juice?
- Sure we do, it's a great antioxidant.
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- Come on over and have some.
- You never see people drinking grape juice.
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- It's delicious, you'd love it.
- I think it's a very underrated juice.
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- It is!
- I wonder why more people don't buy it.
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Larry.
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Larry. Did you know that a sex offender moved into the neighborhood?
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- Yeah, I saw his picture on a flyer.
- I know, it's terrible!
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Yeah, he's a bald guy, too.
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- A bald guy.
- Yeah, a bald guy.
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- It's very bad for the bald community.
- Oh, Larry.
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What's very bad for the community is that he's a sex offender.
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I know, as long as he's gonna be a sex offender I wish he had a full head of hair.
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- Oh, Larry!
- Let me ask you a question.
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Have you...
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Have you guys been getting your newspaper?
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Yeah, yeah.
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- You have?
- Yes.
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Hmm. I haven't gotten my paper in six days.
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I did see somebody walk up your walkway there,
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pick up your newspaper...
- What?!
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But I figured maybe it was somebody that you knew because he had on a suit.
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A guy in a suit is taking my paper?
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That's why she thought it might your friend of yours,
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the guy was well dressed.
- Jesus! That's crazy!
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- Well, you know.
- Guy in a suit is taking my newspaper?
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A suit's a good cover if a guy's gonna steal a paper.
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If you saw him again, would you know him?
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Yeah yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd know him.
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A guy in a suit? Huh?
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- Makes no sense.
- Stealing papers?
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- Makes no sense.
- I know.
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I don't get it.
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I don't get it at all.
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What's a motivation there?
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Guy in a suit's gotta be able to afford a paper.
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Yeah. Hey, you coming to passover seder?
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- Cheryl's doing a seder, huh?
- Yeah, for my father.
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Does she know what she's doing?
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- I don't know, she'll find out.
- A little problem.
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Susie's sister's in town, which means my brother-in-law's in town
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which means that their kid's in town and
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my brother-in-law is a little...
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- He's a conservative?
- He's a conservative.
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- Your brother-in-law's a conservative?
- Big time.
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- Big time conservative
- Do you want to bring him to the seder?
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- Yeah.
- Fine, I don't care.
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- All right!
- Okay.
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- I'll talk to you later.
- All right, very good.
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- Thanks for lunch!
- Sure.
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These machines are really finicky.
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Yeah, let me give you a hand with that.
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No no no no.
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- No, let me help you out.
- No, I don't even care... you know what?
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- I don't even care...
- I know how to get this. I've got the touch.
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- I don't even need to read it.
- Watch watch watch watch.
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I just know how to do it. I know this machine.
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Go ahead.
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You want one?
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Yeah, but I'll close it again and pay for it, because, you know.
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- It's just...
- Oh. Okay.
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- Okay, well...
- Yeah.
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- Thanks a lot.
- Hey, I'm sorry, you're...
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you're Larry David, right?
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- Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm sorry to bother you like this.
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I never, ever do this.
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But, you know, I'm sort of new to the neighborhood
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and I'm a huge "Seinfeld" fan.
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- No kidding?
- Yeah, the biggest.
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- Seriously? Get out of here.
- Yeah yeah yeah, seriously.
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No, I'm, probably the biggest "Seinfeld" fan ever.
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- What a great show. I miss it. I miss it!
- Ah, go on.
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"Puffy shirt" is my favorite episode.
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You know what? I love that show.
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- Really?
- That's one of my favorite episodes.
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Yeah, it's great. It's great.
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How did you guys come up with the low talker?
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Well...
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I mean it was pretty easy to come up with.
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I was out to dinner with one.
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And then you write it and you put it on the tv.
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- Yeah, yeah.
- I'm not an artist, you know?
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So it's interesting to see how an artist like yourself works.
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Well, that's very nice of you. Thank you.
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- It's incredible. It's really an honor.
- Oh my god, thank you so much.
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I'm Rick Leftowitz.
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- Great to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
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- Welcome to the neighborhood.
- Thank you.
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Oh, boy, look at the jew girl.
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- I am so jewish right now.
- Holy cow!
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Where did you learn how to do this?
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Well, Susie's been coaching me through it all.
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- She has?
- Yeah.
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- Do you even know what this thing is called?
- This is a, uh...
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haroset.
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- Very good.
- It's a lot like ambrosia, except...
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I wish my mother were alive to hear you say that word out loud.
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Yeah, I wish my mother could hear me say...
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my mother would flip if she knew I was doing this.
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- Looks good.
- Thank you. I mean, I'm trying.
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It seems like a lot of trouble you people go through for this.
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- You know what I mean?
- "You people" I dunno if I like that so much.
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- You jews, is that better?
- That's better, yeah.
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Okay, I feel like I've been cutting apples for like two hours.
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Okay, hey, you know what?
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Marla and Mark got back together.
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- Really?
- Yeah.
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- I know I'm really happy.
- Good for them.
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Good for them!
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I thought you'd be happy to hear that.
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That's nice. That's nice. When did this happen?
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About a week ago, and he moved back in with her.
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- Really?
- Yeah.
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- Wow.
- And they're coming tomorrow.
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- Oh, you know who else is coming?
- Who?
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Jeff asked me if he could bring his in-laws.
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I know, I know, I talked to Susie.
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- I've been cutting apples...
- Jeez, you know what I just realized?
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I never followed through on my Christmas present to Mark.
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Remember I got him a subscription to "The Times"?
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- "The New York Times".
- Yeah.
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And then he and Marla broke up.
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I don't know. I kinda forgot about it.
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So you just didn't give him his gift?
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Yeah.
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- Because he broke up with his girlfriend?
- Well it's... yeah.
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I don't see the point to it.
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No, you just thought that you wouldn't have to worry about it and
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- you wouldn't see him again, so who cares?
- Oh my god.
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What?
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I'll bet you Mark...
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I'll bet you Mark is the guy who's taking the paper.
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No, think about it, seriously. Listen, think about it.
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I can't believe it.
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Mark is stealing the paper.
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Holy shit!
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Don't you see? Look...
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How long have we not been getting it, six days?
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He moved back in with her a week ago.
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You just said that, right?
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Who else would be doing it? It's him.
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- Mark is not stealing our newspaper.
- No?
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- That is the most ridiculous...
- I don't think so.
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Oh, I think so.
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Larry, he's a doctor.
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I think he could afford the paper if he wants to get a paper.
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Yeah, but not if he's upset with somebody
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who promised him a gift for Christmas and never followed through on it.
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- That is so ridiculous.
- It's not ridiculous. It makes perfect sense.
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You know, because I spoke to...
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hey, you know...
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you know what we should do?
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What?
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We should invite...
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We should invite Mac and Ethel.
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We should invite them for seder, don't you think?
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You want to invite Ethel and Mac?
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I had no idea you liked Mac and Ethel so much.
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You don't understand because you're not jewish, okay?
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But it's a jewish thing.
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It's sort of like a tradition, you know?
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Invite the cranky neighbors who...
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well, if jews don't have any place to go for seder, you're supposed to invite them.
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Come on. Come on.
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Invite 'em.
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Hey, Larry.
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- Hey. Rick, yeah.
- Hey, Rick, from the...
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Hey, let me give you a hand here.
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- Okay. Oh, thank you.
- Yeah. How are ya?
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Pretty good. Pretty good.
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I should have taken one of those carts, you know, but...
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- Yeah, I know.
- Look, it's downhill.
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I'm worried it'll just hit a car and I'll get in a lawsuit or something.
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- Who the hell knows?
- I know.
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Hey, what do you got there?
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Oh, my four iron.
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
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You play golf?
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Yeah, and I eat and I breathe.
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- In that order.
- Yeah, me, too.
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- Really?
- Absolutely, yeah.
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Wow, wow.
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Anyway, I replaced the four iron with a nine wood.
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I can't hit it anymore.
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Well, you know what? I would love to help you.
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Oh, come on. Nobody could help me. Nobody!
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People have tried before. It can't be done.
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- Look I'm...
- Can't be done, Rick.
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I've been golfing for a long time.
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I'm fairly good.
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Yeah, in my backyard, I have this setup that you won't believe.
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I've got a net, I've got a tee.
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- Get the hell out of here!
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And I've got a camera...
- Really, a camera?
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and you shoot yourself swinging and then analyze your swing frame-by-frame.
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- What are you doing now?
- Nothing.
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- All right, let's go.
- Right now?
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Okay, where's your car?
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I don't have one.
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- Okay, I'll take you.
- Okay.
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You want some cheetos for the trip, huh?
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- Yeah, why not?
- Great.
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All right, it's gonna be fun.
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I love golf.
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- Oh my god. Did you see the whole thing?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Come here. Come here.
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Look at this. Watch it in slow motion, okay?
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Look at that.
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See, you're bringing your hips through.
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It doesn't even look... who is that?
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- Is that me? It doesn't even look like me.
- It's you.
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Look, look, I wanna freeze it right here.
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Wait, right there.
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- Look at your hips right here.
- Yeah, no, I see. Perfect.
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I can't believe it.
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A+... My best student of the day.
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Good work. Okay.
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- All right. Great.
- Unreal.
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- Listen, anytime, anytime.
- I'm completely spent.
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- It's my pleasure.
- Fantastic.
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That was great. That was just great.
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- Yeah, yeah.
- Could not have been better.
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What are you doing for passover?
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Just having some people over.
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- Oh, really?
- Yeah, what are you doing?
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Nothing, nothing. Totally free.
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- You want to come to my house?
- No, really?
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- All right.
- Okay, okay.
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- Great, great.
- You don't have to.
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No, that sounds great.
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I got nothing else to do.
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- You sure?
- Yeah, of course, thank you.
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Yeah, I'll bring latkes.
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- Okay.
- Great, great.
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I'll see you then. I'm gonna hit a few.
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What took you so long? Where were you?
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Well, I met sort of a new friend.
244
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:02,700
He's kind of new in town.
245
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:05,700
And we got to talking. Golf nut, okay?
246
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:08,000
Took me to his backyard. He's got a net.
247
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,000
What a setup this guy... my life is changed.
248
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,000
Today, changed, irrevocably.
249
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:17,100
And you just started talking to a stranger?
250
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:21,300
Yeah, kind of, well, you know, he knew me from "Seinfeld".
251
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,600
You know, he's...
252
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,400
- Fan?
- Yeah, kind of.
253
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,400
And gonna be alone on passover, and...
254
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:33,500
I kind of invited him to the seder.
255
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,300
I hope you don't mind.
256
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:38,200
- You did?
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
257
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,300
- No, that's okay.
- Really?
258
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:43,500
- Well, if he's alone.
- Aren't you a doll?
259
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:44,800
Well, that's cute.
260
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,000
I'm glad you made a new friend.
261
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,500
- Yeah, okay, yeah.
- That's nice.
262
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,400
I don't hear that very often from you.
263
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:54,300
Oh, and I forgot to mention it's that sex offender.
264
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:55,700
What?
265
00:12:57,500 --> 00:13:01,400
You know, we saw that picture on the flyer of that sex offender guy.
266
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,700
That's him.
267
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:06,700
- He's cool.
- You invited a sex offender over for seder?
268
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,100
Are you out of your mind?
269
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:12,000
- It was an awkward moment.
- What is wrong with you, Larry?
270
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,100
You don't do something like that without asking me!
271
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:16,900
You do not invite a sex offender over for dinner
272
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,900
without talking to me first!
273
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,000
We're not having a sex offender over for dinner, no!
274
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,500
- You need to call him and say no.
- Cheryl...
275
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,600
What would Jesus do?
276
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,100
- Cheryl, Cheryl.
- No, no!
277
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,500
Cheryl, he's a jew.
278
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:32,800
He's a jew!
279
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:50,300
This is a fact. This is like numbers, okay?
280
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,400
Have you heard of the theory of the 77?
281
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:57,300
- No.
- Okay, every 77 years there's a great president.
282
00:13:57,300 --> 00:14:00,400
Washington and then you go 77 years, Lincoln.
283
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:04,400
77 years there's... what's that guy's name?
284
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,100
- Theodore Roosevelt?
- F.D.R.
285
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:08,400
And then another 77 years, you got W.
286
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,400
- Really?
- I think we're in historic times.
287
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,700
- Washington, Lincoln, F.D.R.
- And W.
288
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,700
- And George W. Bush.
- That's right.
289
00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:19,300
And we're turning the whole damn world around.
290
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:21,800
- Jake, did you remember to call your mother?
- What?
291
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,400
Did you remember to call your mother? We were supposed to call her before...
292
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,000
I told my mother I would call her after the seder.
293
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,300
- You said "before".
- After the seder.
294
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,100
- Hey.
- Hey, Larry.
295
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,400
- How's it going, Mark?
- Doing well, doing well.
296
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,300
- How's the doctor?
- Doing well, busy.
297
00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:37,900
- Oh, yeah.
- Real busy.
298
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:41,200
You know, just kind of... things are booming right now, you know?
299
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,700
Nice to see you and Marla back together.
300
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:45,400
She's great. She's great.
301
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:49,500
Yeah, what happened? You couldn't cut it in your single life there?
302
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:52,500
Couldn't get any dates, so you went back?
303
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,500
That's funny.
304
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,400
Part of the perk of being a doctor.
305
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,700
It's not hard to get dates.
306
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:58,600
Get to see a lot of women naked?
307
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,600
- Cosmetic surgeon. Seen my fair share.
- Really?
308
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:02,900
You ever get aroused?
309
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,400
I don't think that's really an appropriate question.
310
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,900
- Really, why not?
- Well, you know, it's just...
311
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,400
it's sort of a personal thing.
312
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:13,600
I don't want to discuss something like that. The answer of course is no.
313
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,900
I'm a professional. People come to me for help. I help them.
314
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:16,900
I understand.
315
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,500
Tell me if you think this is an appropriate question.
316
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,000
And I mean no disrespect.
317
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,700
Have you been stealing my newspaper?
318
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,100
Larry...
319
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:35,300
- Yes, that is an inappropriate question.
- Okay, so that's two inappropriate questions.
320
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:38,600
I have not been stealing your newspaper, Larry. That's appalling.
321
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,400
- Really?
- Yeah, really, Larry.
322
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,000
I'm quite sure I haven't been taking it.
323
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,500
Are you positive, Mark?
324
00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:06,500
Okay.
325
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:07,800
Now if you'll excuse me.
326
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,000
So what did you think of my brother-in-law?
327
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,600
- Whoa.
- Uh-huh.
328
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,600
- Man. Wow.
- Big time. Wow.
329
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:20,800
What?
330
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:24,100
- Your sister's husband.
- Man, oh, man.
331
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:26,300
- He's nauseating.
- He's quite a piece of work that guy.
332
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:27,600
He's quite a piece of work!
333
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,100
Who else is coming?
334
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:33,600
Oh, there's somebody right now.
335
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:42,700
- Hey, there he is.
- Somebody order latkes?
336
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,500
Look at this. Boy, oh, boy.
337
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:47,600
- Yeah, how are ya?
- Great, how you doing?
338
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,300
- Very good.
- Good to see you.
339
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,800
- Yeah, this is nice.
- Oh, yeah?
340
00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:58,100
Let me introduce you to some of my friends here.
341
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,100
- The guests.
- Great.
342
00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:02,300
Hi.
343
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:06,100
- This is Marla.
- Hi, Marla, nice to meet you. Rick.
344
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:09,000
And this is my wife Cheryl.
345
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,400
It's lovely to meet you. You have a wonderful home.
346
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,200
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
347
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,200
- I made latkes. Yeah.
- Latkes.
348
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:17,400
Thank you, that was...
349
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,700
- From my mother's recipe.
- They smell good.
350
00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:23,600
Hey, this guy completely changed my life. I'm telling you.
351
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,900
I can't believe the way I hit the ball now on account of him.
352
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,900
Yeah, just wait till I'm done with him. Different man altogether.
353
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:31,800
I can't wait.
354
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,500
Nice to meet you.
355
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:37,000
Come on over here.
356
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,600
This here is Jeff.
357
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,100
- You are?
- This is Rick Leftowitz.
358
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,900
- Nice meeting you, Rick.
- Nice meeting you.
359
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:46,900
- This is Susie. His wife Susie.
- Hi.
360
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:50,900
- And that's Sammy.
- Somebody drop a cute bomb in here?
361
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,000
Oh, hey, and this is my dad.
362
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,800
It is an honor to meet you, sir.
363
00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,100
Nice to meet you.
364
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:01,200
- This is Carol.
- Hi, Carol.
365
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,500
- Very nice to meet you.
- Rick. Nice to meet you.
366
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:06,300
- This is Emily and Jacob.
- Can I talk to you for a second?
367
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,800
Sure, yeah. Excuse me for one second.
368
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:14,600
What the hell are you trying to pull, Larry?
369
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,200
- What?
- You know who that guy is?
370
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,900
He had nowhere to go, what do you want me to do?
371
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,000
I don't give a shit where he goes.
372
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,500
I think it's gonna be a big addition to this passover.
373
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,800
- In what way?
- He's got a good personality.
374
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,200
He's smart. He's funny.
375
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,200
He should not be in our presence on a holy day.
376
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:29,800
Any day.
377
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,300
What the hell are you doing?
378
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:40,000
- Larry.
- Hello, hello.
379
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,500
- How are you?
- Pretty good.
380
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,600
- Good to see you. I'm glad you came.
- So are we.
381
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:46,600
Thank you.
382
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,400
Everybody parked in front of my house. Everybody here,
383
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,400
- except the kids.
- Yeah, so what?
384
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,800
- So what?
- Are you going out tonight?
385
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,800
I think you're here, aren't you? So what's the problem?
386
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,100
Everybody's got the car parked in front of my...
387
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,900
- same thing, every time you have a party...
- I'm sorry.
388
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:05,000
- I'll inform you next time.
- Please.
389
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000
Ethel, hi, how are you?
390
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,100
It was so nice of you to invite us.
391
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:11,400
My pleasure. Ethel, what I want you to do is
392
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,800
I want you to take a look around this room here, okay,
393
00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:18,900
and just see if there's anybody who you recognize.
394
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,300
- Okay?
- Sure.
395
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:22,900
- All right, would you do that for me?
- Sure.
396
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,700
Take a look around.
397
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,600
Okay, gently. Gently, guys.
398
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,100
Let's put her here on the bed.
399
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,200
Okay, let me just check her.
400
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,100
I think I hurt my back lifting her up.
401
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:52,600
Her pulse is okay. She's breathing fine.
402
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:56,300
- Does this happen often?
- Well, yeah, every once in a while
403
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:59,300
- something startles her.
- How long is she going to be out like this?
404
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,100
- A couple of hours.
- A couple of hours?!
405
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:04,200
What, are you kidding?
406
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,200
Just a... you know, she'll sleep it off, then she'll be fine.
407
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,500
Everybody have a nice big swig of wine.
408
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:43,700
Hey, guess what.
409
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,700
Okay, get ready, kids.
410
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,700
You know what's in here?
411
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:49,700
Matzah.
412
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:52,700
And I'm gonna hide this, and you've got to go find it
413
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:55,700
and whoever finds the matzah is gonna get a dollar.
414
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000
Okay, a dollar!
415
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,800
All right, now go into the kitchen.
416
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:00,800
Go in the kitchen.
417
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,700
Close your eyes. Don't look.
418
00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:04,900
Cover your ears.
419
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,700
Okay, I'm gonna hide it now.
420
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:08,200
Don't look!
421
00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:35,100
Okay, kids, you can come look for the matzah now.
422
00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:59,200
- So, Larry.
- Yeah?
423
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,200
Any luck in finding the guy that...
424
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,200
- has been stealing your newspaper?
- No.
425
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:07,000
No luck at all.
426
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,000
For those of you who don't know, I'm sure you don't,
427
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,800
somebody's been stealing my newspaper for an entire week...
428
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,700
yes, every day.
429
00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:20,100
I tell you something, my wife, she got a good look at him.
430
00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:22,900
I mean, a really good look.
431
00:22:22,900 --> 00:22:25,900
If she ever sees him again, she'll recognize him.
432
00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:27,700
- Really?
- She'll know that face.
433
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:29,200
She never forgets a face.
434
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,500
Is something wrong, doctor?
435
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:36,500
Excuse me, uh, no.
436
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:38,500
Just some gefilte fish.
437
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,400
Well, hopefully, she'll wake up soon and
438
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,100
come down and join us for the rest of the seder.
439
00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:47,700
- Wouldn't that be nice, everybody?
- Yes, yes.
440
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,700
That would be wonderful, wonderful!
441
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,300
Hey, there's no matzah here. Let's go, beat it.
442
00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:06,800
Come on, pfft, beat it.
443
00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:44,600
Well, I've... just seen Ethel.
444
00:23:45,900 --> 00:23:47,300
She's coming around.
445
00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:48,700
She should be down soon.
446
00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:51,000
That's nice. That's nice.
447
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,500
Huh? Isn't that good news?
448
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,100
What is all the...
449
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,800
all that sound, that noise, the racket we all heard upstairs?
450
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,100
Oh, my foot fell asleep so I was kind of jumping up and down
451
00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:04,500
to get the blood circulating again.
452
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:06,000
I hate when that happens, right?
453
00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:12,300
Something wrong, doctor?
454
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:14,300
For Pete's sake, I've...
455
00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:16,600
I've been paged by the hospital. It must be an emergency.
456
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,700
Oh my gosh!
457
00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:20,900
Oh, it's a doctor emergency.
458
00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:23,900
- I'm so sorry.
- I didn't hear anything, doctor.
459
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,200
- I keep my pager on vibrate...
- Oh, do you?
460
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,300
- ...for medical emergencies, yes.
- Uh-huh.
461
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:31,300
- Thank you so much for having me.
- It was great to meet you.
462
00:24:31,500 --> 00:24:33,900
Aren't you a cosmetic surgeon?
463
00:24:33,900 --> 00:24:36,700
Yes, we have emergencies in that field as well.
464
00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:38,900
You know, it's too bad. Ethel's coming down soon.
465
00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:41,800
She's really gonna be upset that she didn't get to meet you.
466
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,800
I'll meet her another time, I'm sure. Thank you.
467
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,700
So Marla, I'm sorry I'll see you at home.
468
00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:47,300
- I'll see you at home, honey.
- Thank you, everyone.
469
00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:49,000
- Love you.
- Found it!
470
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,000
What?
471
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,300
- Stevie!
- He found the matzah!
472
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,200
In a hurry, doctor?
473
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,000
- As I explained, I've been paged by my hospital.
- Yes, I know.
474
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,700
Emergency boob job, no doubt.
475
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:04,000
I've been paged for a medical emergency
476
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,300
- because I am a doctor.
- Yes yes yes.
477
00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:08,900
You're a doctor. Yes yes, of course, you're a doctor.
478
00:25:08,900 --> 00:25:12,200
- It's a medical situation.
- You're lucky that old lady fainted.
479
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,900
I don't... I don't know what you're talking about.
480
00:25:14,900 --> 00:25:17,400
You took that paper. I know you did.
481
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,400
I'm a doctor, you idiot!
482
00:25:21,700 --> 00:25:23,200
Good yontif.
483
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:26,700
- Larry?
- Hey, buddy, what's up?
484
00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:28,500
Can I talk to you for a second?
485
00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:31,500
- Sure, what's up?
- Um... this is really hard.
486
00:25:31,700 --> 00:25:32,700
I, uh...
487
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:37,700
I'm... in the throes of a moral quandary right now,
488
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,100
- and I don't know what to do.
- Okay, um...
489
00:25:40,100 --> 00:25:41,700
I'm not really the right...
490
00:25:41,700 --> 00:25:43,500
- I'm not a good person to...
- Oh, I think you are.
491
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,400
- You're the perfect person.
- ...to confide in, no no no.
492
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,600
What you need to see is a doctor or a psychiatrist,
493
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,600
- a counselor of some kind.
- A doctor, no no no.
494
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,100
I'm... I'm clear on what I'm torn about:
495
00:25:53,100 --> 00:25:56,000
My allegiance to you as a friend,
496
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,400
and not wanting to ruin the party.
497
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,100
Uh, but I saw something very shocking,
498
00:26:01,100 --> 00:26:03,500
and I feel like I have to tell you.
499
00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:05,000
What... what's going on?
500
00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:10,400
Well, I saw Mr. Dunkle whisper in his son's ear
501
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,800
and then the boy went right over and found the matzah.
502
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,500
Oh my god.
503
00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:21,900
Yeah, because he saw me hiding it.
504
00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:24,000
We made eye contact. He saw it.
505
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,500
Well, there you go.
506
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:26,500
Sorry.
507
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:28,800
Okay.
508
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,600
- I'll take it from here.
- Ok.
509
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:49,400
When am I gonna get my dollar?
510
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,700
Oh yeah, your dollar.
511
00:26:52,700 --> 00:26:55,700
That's right. Let me ask you a question, Stevie.
512
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,300
I notice that you went to the bookcase once.
513
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,100
What made you go back there a second time?
514
00:27:02,100 --> 00:27:04,600
Hey, look look, he found the matzah, pay up.
515
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,400
I'm just trying to find out why he went back...
516
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:07,700
There's no need for a third degree.
517
00:27:07,700 --> 00:27:10,300
The boy found the alpha common, just pay him the dollar.
518
00:27:10,300 --> 00:27:12,600
- How come you went back, Stevie?
- Stop it!
519
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,500
He found the matzah, pay up. That's that!
520
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,600
- He found the matzah?
- Yeah!
521
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,800
'Cause you told him where it was hidden.
522
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,700
- That is a lie!
- Didn't you?
523
00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:23,300
- Didn't you?
- That is a lie!
524
00:27:23,300 --> 00:27:24,600
You don't know anything.
525
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,400
- How would you know that?
- How do I know?
526
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:27,900
How would you know?
527
00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:34,000
My friend told me, that's how I know!
528
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,200
He saw you whisper in your son's ear
529
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,400
and then watched as he ran to the bookcase
530
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:42,500
- and got the matzah.
- Oh, your friend the convicted sex offender!
531
00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:55,100
Oh my god! Oh my god, there's something wrong with Sammy.
532
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:58,000
Sammy, Sammy, get up. Come on, come on.
533
00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,300
What's the matter, honey? What is it?
534
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:00,800
She can't breathe. She can't breathe.
535
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,800
- Does anyone know mouth-to-mouth?
- Oh my god!
536
00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:05,900
I do.
537
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,200
Subtitles by Eyedol
538
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,200
Transcript by Raceman
539
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:48,600
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