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Episode 5x06: The Smoking Jacket

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All right!

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Happy birthday!

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What did you wish for?

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That's personal.

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Yeah. Yeah, I know what you wished for.

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You don't know what I wished for... and it's none of your business, really.

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- Oh, I know.
- Oh, really?

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- Yeah, I do.
- What, what, what?

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What did you wish for?

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You know, it's a personal thing. It's a wish.

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- You wished...
- I don't like to say what I wished for.

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You wished that Louis Lewis would die,

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so you don't have to give up your own kidney to Richard.

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Yeah, right.

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- That's what it was.
- Yeah.

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- Yeah, trust me.
- No, it wasn't.

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- Oh yes.
- Who would do something like that?

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You! You, that's who... you!

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You think I would wish for somebody who's in a coma,

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who's practically a vegetable, to die,

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just so I wouldn't have to give up my own kidney?

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Okay.

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Let's go. Open her up.

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Look at this.

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- The guy got me a present, huh?
- It's nice.

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- What a guy!
- Yes, indeed.

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It's good to have a big friend, you can really smack him around.

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You know, look at that!

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- You know, it doesn't hurt.
- Don't feel a thing.

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- Doesn't hurt him, doesn't feel anything.
- Don't feel a thing.

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Take a pop at him. Go ahead, take a pop.

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Take a pop. Doesn't feel anything.

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- Here, let me help you.
- What? What are you doing?

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- I got it.
- Come on. I wrapped it.

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- I know how to do it.
- Doesn't matter. It's my gift!

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- Let me do it!
- What? It's my present. Let go.

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- Let go with the package.
- All right!

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Let go.

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- I know what it is.
- Yes, indeed.

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- I know what it is.
- What is it? What is it?

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It's a green... it's a green sport jacket.

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He has one and I complimented him on it.

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And he remembered what I said and he got me this.

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This is the best birthday I ever had.

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Best birthday a fellow could ever have.

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I noticed that you haven't...

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contributed anything to...
- I know, my gift is on hold.

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I have to confirm something before I give it to you.

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- Really?
- No, it's gonna be so good.

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- It's gonna be so good.
- When am I going to get it?

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- As soon as I have 100% confirmation.
- Really?

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And you're going to love it. Just trust me.

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- Aw.
- Yeah, but you'll love it.

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- Come on.
- You're going to love it.

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- Try the jacket on.
- Trust me.

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Oh, one second.

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- How are you?
- All right.

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- How are you, Mr. Birthday boy today?
- Pretty good, pretty good.

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- Oh, you remembered.
- Remember, please.

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- I can't believe it.
- Who can forget? Oh, you kiddin'!

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Who'd forget this day.
How's your dad?

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He's... you know, he's all right.

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The hearing is going and the mind is, you know, it's...

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This is tragic, 'cause this guy, he was sharp.

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Yeah, but he's not... he forgets things,

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he doesn't remember stuff anymore. Yeah...

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Well, at least it's not his hip.

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Because once it's in the hip, then you're gone.

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They all... they say you're gone.

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- Look who's here.
- Hi, Andy. How are you, pal?

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- Good to see you.
- How are you, Jeffrey?

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Good to see you.

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I forgot to tell you something so important.

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Hef invited me to a party at the mansion.

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- Really?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Want to go to the Playboy mansion?

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Yeah, do I want to? Yeah, but can I? I don't know.

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Come on. We'll be "going to a movie" or something.

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- There's no way. Come on.
- Oh, come on. You'll have fun.

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I'd love to go.

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I got to go to the bathroom. Pardon me a sec.

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Oh, hey, let me ask you something.

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Did...

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did your parents ever mention anything to you about me being...

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adopted?

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What?

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When my father was lying on the hospital bed...

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I've never heard anything like this.

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Nat never said anything to me, to my mom,

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- nothing.
- Parents never said anything?

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Nothing.
This is wild.

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- I hired a private investigator.
- No, you didn't.

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Yeah, I should hear something pretty soon.

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No! You know what, Larry? You're nuts.

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You're out of your mind.

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Just leave it alone.

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I'm going to go say hey to Cheryl.

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Oh, good afternoon.

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- Hello.
- Hello.

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Can I help you?

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I'm a friend of his cousin.

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Richard Lewis...

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Oh, yes, yes. Mr. Lewis. Yes. Right, yeah.

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Yes, that's too bad. It's too bad.

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How's he doing?

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Well, unfortunately he's not doing too well.

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He's in an irreversible coma.

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And uh, as you can see...

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we got him set up on life support.
- I see, yeah.

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Prognosis isn't good. So...

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So...

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how long do you think he has?

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- I beg your pardon?
- How long do you think he has?

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It's hard to say. It could be days, weeks, months.

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There's been cases where patients have been in comas for years.

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- Oh, really?
- Yeah, yeah.

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What do you think you're leaning more towards...

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weeks or months?

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It's hard to say.

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If you had to pick one.

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I don't know if I could pick one.

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Take a shot.

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No.

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Well...

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What happens to the moustache in a coma?

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- The moustache?
- Yeah, his moustache.

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It continues to grow.

129
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- There's a lady who comes in a couple times.
- Really?

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The hospital has a barber?

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Yeah. She's a nice lady.

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She clips his moustache, she does his hair.

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- She just works within the hospital or...
- Within the hospital, yes.

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We just try and keep him comfortable,

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and... you know...

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seems a pity though, that...

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these people like they... languish like this when the soul is crying to...

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Yeah, I guess you could look at it that way.

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He's got all these organs he could be donating.

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You know what I mean?

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Yeah. I suppose.

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People they sit here with their organs and...

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- Nice talking to you.
- People who are alive they need the...

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What do you think you're doing?

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What?

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You pull that plug and I'll tell.

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No, it fell. It fell on the floor. I'm picking it up.

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- Oh.
- Pulling plugs. Where did you get that from?

149
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Well, you just looked like you were about to pull the plug.

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You had your hands on it, you were kind of...

151
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About to pull the plug? Are you crazy?

152
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I heard your conversation.

153
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So, what? You want this guy dead or something?

154
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Listen, that's a very serious thing you're saying.

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You're practically calling me a murderer. Okay, I'm not pulling any plug.

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So, come on. Enough of that.

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Okay. I'm willing to overlook this whole thing.

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Are you? Boy. That's very nice of you, thank you.

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- I appreciate that.
- If...

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Yeah?

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You grant my wish that the make-a-wish foundation turned down.

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You'll forget about this?

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You agree?

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What was this wish that they wouldn't grant?

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I want to see a naked woman.

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- You want to see a naked woman?
- Um-hmm.

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- That's your wish?
- Um-hmm.

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- They wouldn't grant that wish?
- Of course not.

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Imagine going through your whole life without seeing a naked woman.

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- Hey, I almost did.
- Hmm...

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So you're going to grant my wish?

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Well, you know, I would love to help you out.

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- What's your name?
- Wilson.

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I'd like to help you out, Wilson, I really would,

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but I don't know any naked women.

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My wife, that's the only one I know.

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- She's perfect.
- She's not going to do this.

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Why not?

179
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She's not going to come and take her clothes off for you.

180
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Take me to your place.

181
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Forget it. I would have to come up with somebody else.

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Fine. That's your job.

183
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- I'll think about it. Okay?
- You'll think about it?

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- Yeah.
- You think about it.

185
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Even if I had someone, how are you gonna get out of here anyway?

186
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Oh, please, I sneak out all the time.

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Have a nice day.

188
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Oh, Andy.

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This package is for you.

190
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Open it up. What is it?

191
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I don't know. It's from Nat.

192
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- Oh, it's from your father.
- Yeah.

193
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Look at that.

194
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He sent me his smoking jacket.

195
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- Wow.
- Wow. How lovely.

196
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- Look at that.
- Why would he send this to me?

197
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But it's beautiful.

198
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- Wow.
- Okay. All right.

199
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You know what this is about?

200
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I'm sorry to tell you this.

201
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This is probably a birthday gift for me.

202
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I'll tell you why. 'Cause when we were younger,

203
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whenever it was my birthday

204
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my father would always send a gift to him so he wouldn't feel left out.

205
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So, he kind of got confused,

206
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you know, he's not... he's not the same as he was.

207
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He kind of got confused and he must have written your name on it.

208
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You think that he did not send this to me?

209
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- Why would he send it to you?
- Look at this...

210
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"Andy David."

211
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Look up at the top, in the return is "Nat."

212
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Andy, he didn't send me anything for my birthday.

213
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- He always sends...
- You can't accept the fact that he sent me a gift.

214
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He promised me this jacket.

215
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- Who did?
- My father.

216
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Oh, Larry, you're unbelievable.

217
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You can't accept the fact that your father sent me a lovely gift.

218
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He has no reason to send it to you. It's my birthday.

219
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- Because he happens to love me.
- He's confused!

220
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I have a question for you.

221
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Have you seen that "us" magazine?

222
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I had an "us" magazine that was...

223
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it was in the other room, it...

224
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Oh.

225
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I think I threw that out.

226
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W hat?

227
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- Oh my god.
- What?

228
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I had a phone number.

229
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- A very important number written on it.
- What phone number?

230
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Why did you throw away my magazine?

231
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Because he took it in the bathroom and contaminated it.

232
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- Oh...
- What?

233
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- I what?
- Larry...

234
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- All right Andy, let's get serious now, okay?
- What?

235
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My father sent that jacket for me. That's a mistake.

236
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,500
My father would not just send you his jacket.

237
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- He sent me a jacket.
- He promised me that jacket.

238
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He gave it to me...

239
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- He gave it to me because he likes me.
- It's a mistake.

240
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You're taking advantage of an old man.

241
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- You're like a little brat...
- I'm a brat?

242
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You fucking moron! Give me that jacket.

243
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No! No this is my jacket.

244
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This is my jacket!

245
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It's mine!

246
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You know he promised that jacket to me.

247
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It's unfair.

248
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He didn't give me a birthday present. He's just confused.

249
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It's so obvious.

250
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It's a big bowl of wrong.

251
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,800
Andy...

252
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:55,700
So, are you gonna go to the Playboy mansion?

253
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,600
I can't go, I'm so deep in the doghouse now.

254
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,500
She's really pissed off at me 'cause I threw away her magazine

255
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,200
that had a phone number on it.

256
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,800
Aw, come on man.

257
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,300
You're already in the doghouse, you can't get in any more trouble,

258
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,300
you might as well get your money's worth.

259
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,700
Yeah, might as well do something else wrong.

260
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,700
It's a "double transgression" theory.

261
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:18,000
- What an interesting theory.
- Well, thank you.

262
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,400
"Double transgression theory".

263
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,100
And I could ask that kid Wilson, to go with me.

264
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,300
Who's Wilson?

265
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:27,700
Oh, yeah, Wilson. I met this kid in the hospital...

266
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:45,600
They'll take less.

267
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,600
Trust me. Trust me, they'll take less.

268
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:51,100
Okay you call me back when you hear from them.

269
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:52,000
That'll be fine.

270
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,500
I'm on L.A. Time, okay?

271
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,800
All right. I'll talk to you later.

272
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:57,800
What?

273
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,100
What is this? Huh?

274
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,300
Take this off.

275
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:05,000
This doesn't belong to you, you know it and I know it.

276
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:09,000
My father promised me this smoking jacket when I was 14 years old.

277
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,800
- Larry, move on. Move on...
- All right, you know what?

278
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,800
- Oh my goodness.
- I'm going to the Playboy mansion now, all right?

279
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,900
When I get back, I want you out of that jacket.

280
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:18,800
- You're going to the Playboy mansion?
- I don't want you walking around

281
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,300
in this jacket anymore.
- Hold on. Wait, wait, wait...

282
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:23,100
Larry... take me.

283
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:25,200
I want to go.

284
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:26,400
- Can I go?
- Really?

285
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:27,400
Please.

286
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,900
Oh, what would this do to my trip?

287
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:32,600
- To go to the Playboy mansion!
- That would be great, wouldn't it?

288
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,600
- Please.
- It's not really my decision.

289
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,900
- It would make my trip so beautiful.
- I know, Andy.

290
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:38,100
I wish I could help you.

291
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,900
I really do. I wish I could.

292
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:41,900
- You can help me. Just ask Jeff.
- I don't know...

293
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:44,900
What's one guy, what's two guys?

294
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,700
- Oh, I got an idea.
- What?

295
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,800
- You want to go to the Playboy mansion?
- Yeah.

296
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,500
You really want to go?

297
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,000
Give me the jacket.

298
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,600
You got it.

299
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,000
- I'm going to go up and change.
- Wait a second.

300
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,600
I'm taking it to the drycleaner. Take it off.

301
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,900
Here, here, here.

302
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,600
Speak into the rock.

303
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:16,800
What's your business, please?

304
00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:20,900
Jeff Greene and three guests.

305
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:23,900
Proceed up the driveway please.

306
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,300
- Wow.
- Wow.

307
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,400
Look at this thing, huh?

308
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,400
Mercedes Benz, SL300 SI.

309
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,400
- You know it, huh?
- Um-hmm.

310
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,000
What did you do?

311
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:48,500
What is with you?

312
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:49,800
What? I...

313
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,800
- What did you do?
- I don't know.

314
00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:57,300
Sorry.

315
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,000
I got to use the bathroom.

316
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:18,600
Well... hey...

317
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,300
- How do you do?
- Hello there.

318
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:23,100
- Hi, Larry David.
- Hugh Hefner.

319
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,700
- Yes, nice to meet you.
- My pleasure, welcome.

320
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,400
- Hi, I'm Holly.
- Hello. Hi.

321
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,300
- Bridget.
- Hello. Hi.

322
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:30,900
- You're a guest of...?
- Jeff Greene.

323
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,600
- Yes. Sure.
- Oh, you know him?

324
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,000
- Sure.
- See, I thought he was pretending the whole time.

325
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,600
- No, it's true.
- Ah interesting.

326
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,900
What's that animal walking around outside with the long neck?

327
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,700
What do you call that?

328
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,100
Well, it's probably a flamingo.

329
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:45,100
Oh, flamingo.

330
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,400
I'm not good at identifying birds and animals.

331
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,100
You know, like sneakers, I can identify.

332
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:54,000
Converse, Adidas, I know all that stuff.

333
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000
I know sneakers, birds I don't know from.

334
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,800
This is...

335
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,500
you know what?

336
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,000
This smoking jacket...

337
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,500
my father's got the exact same smoking jacket.

338
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,100
Hmmm, I doubt it.

339
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:11,300
- Doubt it?
- Well, it's an original.

340
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:13,300
I have them imported from Italy.

341
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:15,000
- Really?
- It's a Roselli.

342
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,800
One of a kind.

343
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,500
I don't know.

344
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:20,800
- You know what?
- Hmm?

345
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,600
I got it right out in the car.

346
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,400
- Well, I'd like to see it.
- Would you?

347
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,400
- Sure.
- Can I go get it?

348
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,600
Sure.

349
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,100
- Then stay right here.
- Okay.

350
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:30,000
I'll go get the smoking jacket. Stay right here.

351
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,600
I think it's the exact same one. I'm not kidding.

352
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,600
Unbelievable.

353
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,600
What?

354
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,100
What's the matter with you?

355
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,200
- What's the matter with me?
- Yeah.

356
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,700
You ruined my wish.

357
00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:57,800
It could have been a coincidence.

358
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,000
They ran away from you, Larry.

359
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,700
It wasn't my fault.

360
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:04,700
Well, it was obviously something about you that made them do that.

361
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:06,600
Do me a favor, hand me that jacket.

362
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:07,600
Why?

363
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:10,600
Because I want to show it to Hefner.

364
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,900
What do you mean you want to show it? Listen, get in the car.

365
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:15,500
Really, I'm... this whole day was just a mess.

366
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,100
Come on, hand me the jacket.

367
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:18,400
- No.
- What?

368
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,400
- No. Just get in the car, come on.
- What's the matter with you?

369
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,900
- I wanna go.
- Look, you little shit...

370
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:24,900
what the... give me that jacket!

371
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,500
I didn't knock.

372
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:34,500
I figured you knew I was going out...

373
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:35,600
- I could just come in...
- Sure.

374
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,800
So I took that liberty. I hope it's okay.

375
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,300
What do you think?

376
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:43,000
- I'm amazed.
- It's the same thing.

377
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,200
Well, it's not a Roselli but it's a great knock-off.

378
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,300
- Really?
- Yeah, let me try it on.

379
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:51,300
There you go.

380
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,200
It even fits.

381
00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:02,000
Wait till my father hears that Hugh Hefner was trying on his smoking jacket.

382
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,900
He's going to freak out.

383
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,700
Wow. Pretty good.

384
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:06,700
- It looks good.
- Yeah.

385
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:09,000
Pretty, pretty good.

386
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Let me look at it in the mirror.

387
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,300
Not bad.

388
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:19,800
Excuse me.

389
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:30,700
Where do you live?

390
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:32,200
In Los Angeles.

391
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,300
I noticed they got some...

392
00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:46,300
- What, they got some monkeys out there, huh?
- Yeah.

393
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,500
You don't got much pockets in there, huh?

394
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:51,400
- Not too many pockets there.
- We don't need pockets.

395
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:52,700
I couldn't live without pockets.

396
00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:54,000
Look, I'm not a dentist,

397
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,200
but I enjoy discussing dental hygiene...

398
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,000
They're monkeys, they'll attack you.

399
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,800
They'll claw you to death.

400
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,600
I'd say gum stimulation, very important,

401
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,400
flossing...

402
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,500
There are people, though,

403
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:07,900
let's face it, who do have a foot odor problem.

404
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,900
Are you saying I have dirty feet?

405
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,100
- Your name is what again? I forgot.
- Bridget.

406
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,400
- And you are?
- Holly.

407
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:18,900
Holly.

408
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,900
Maybe we should go bowling sometime?

409
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:23,500
Maybe.

410
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,500
I don't think you want to go bowling with me.

411
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,600
Let's pretend to be ventriloquists, okay?

412
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,600
Remarkable.

413
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,400
They do impressive work in Korea.

414
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,600
You're wanted at the grotto now, baby.

415
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,400
Ah. Excuse me.

416
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,400
- See you later.
- Bye bye.

417
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,800
The Playboy mansion?

418
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,100
That's where you were?

419
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:20,800
You didn't think that I would mind that you're running around with nude women?

420
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,800
There's no nude women. They covered all up when they saw me.

421
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:27,300
You have no idea how hard I've been working on your birthday present.

422
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,000
I had this phone number written on the back of a magazine,

423
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,400
which you threw out.
- I'm sorry.

424
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:33,900
And I finally got it back.

425
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:38,300
I have arranged for you to have lunch and play a round of golf with Gary Player.

426
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,500
- Gary Player?
- Yes, because he's a huge "Seinfeld" fan,

427
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:45,200
and now I just feel like, why...?
- Wait, wait, wait!

428
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,200
- What are you doing? No, no, no!
- I'm think I'm just going to rip it up...

429
00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:49,900
Wait, wait.

430
00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:52,900
- No, I don't think you deserve this.
- Oh, my god.

431
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:55,900
- Yes.
- No, no, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

432
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,800
But what can I say?

433
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,800
I knew you were already mad at me for the magazine, okay?

434
00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:03,600
So I figured, I might as well go to the mansion,

435
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,600
so one apology would cover both of them.
- That was your logic?

436
00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:08,700
You know, it's like the dog who pees on the rug.

437
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,600
He knows he's getting sent to the doghouse,

438
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,600
so on the way, he grabs some food off the kitchen table.

439
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,400
It's the "double transgression" theory.

440
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:20,200
How did you even know that I like Gary Player, by the way?

441
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,200
I remember you said when you were a kid you loved Gary Player

442
00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:25,900
and he was your favorite. You liked him more than Palmer...

443
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:28,900
- You remembered that?
- I remembered that.

444
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:31,600
Okay, watch the step. You got a step and you got a little carpet here.

445
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:32,400
Hey ya guys.

446
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,000
- Hi.
- Hey!

447
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,700
Pop-sicola.

448
00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:38,200
Hey, you know what I did last night?

449
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:39,900
- I had a date.
- The playmate?

450
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:41,700
You betcha. Bobbi Sue.

451
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:44,600
- It's going great. She's terrific.
- Fantastic.

452
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,100
- I know, huh?
- How about your nephew over here, huh?

453
00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:49,800
Yeah, that's worth the trip from New York, huh?

454
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,100
How's it going, pops? How's the nursing home?

455
00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:54,600
Eh, I don't like it there so much. You know.

456
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,400
- Why?
- We'll put you someplace else.

457
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,600
They steal from me.

458
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,100
I am telling you something, Larry.

459
00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:00,800
- They're stealing from me.
- They're stealing?

460
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,600
You know my beautiful jacket, my smoking jacket?

461
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:08,200
With the red and the... and satin?

462
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,000
Yeah, sure. Your smoking jacket.

463
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,100
- They took it.
- No, no, no.

464
00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:14,500
- They took my smoking jacket.
- Uncle Nat, no, no.

465
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:15,500
You sent it to me.

466
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:19,300
Well you actually probably meant to send it to me for my birthday.

467
00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:22,300
No, you sent it to me because my name was on the package.

468
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:25,300
- You always said you wanted me to have it.
- You gave it to me.

469
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,700
- Hey, gentlemen!
- He sent it to me Larry!

470
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:29,700
- Yeah but he always...
- You said... Nat...

471
00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:32,600
Why the hell would I send that beautiful jacket to either of you?

472
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,600
I love that jacket.

473
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,000
All right, hold on.

474
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,500
What?

475
00:22:40,900 --> 00:22:42,400
What's that?

476
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,700
What the heck is this?

477
00:22:49,700 --> 00:22:52,100
This is not my... this is not my smoking jacket.

478
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:54,100
- It's not.
- Well I'm sorry.

479
00:22:54,100 --> 00:22:57,000
My jacket is a Roselli jacket. Take a look at this thing.

480
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,300
Take a look at the seams here.

481
00:22:58,300 --> 00:23:00,500
It's a shmata, man. It's not my...

482
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:02,700
this is a knock-off of my jacket.

483
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:05,600
- What?
- How did you get a hold of this dreck?

484
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,400
- This is a knock-off?
- It's a knock-off.

485
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,400
- It's a cheap, cheap imitation.
- This is not a Roselli?

486
00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:12,000
This is not a Roselli.

487
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,500
How did you get it?

488
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,500
Holy shit.

489
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,200
All right. I'll get your jacket back.

490
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,100
- All right...
- Today. I'm getting it back today.

491
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:25,300
- All right.
- Hugh Hefner. He's got my jacket.

492
00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:27,600
Hugh Hefner has your jacket?

493
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,100
Hugh Hefner took my jacket?

494
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,500
- Hi.
- Larry.

495
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:51,500
Sorry... sorry for bothering you but...

496
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,700
the other day when I was here, I mistakenly

497
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:57,400
took the wrong smoking jacket and...

498
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,700
I'm sorry, this is your smoking jacket.

499
00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:02,700
That one's actually my father's. I apologize.

500
00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:04,200
I don't think so.

501
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:07,100
This is a Roselli.

502
00:24:07,100 --> 00:24:08,900
That's a knock-off.

503
00:24:08,900 --> 00:24:10,500
No, no no.

504
00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:12,300
This is the Roselli.

505
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:14,000
That's the knock-off.

506
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,100
That's my father's.

507
00:24:15,100 --> 00:24:16,900
I can tell the difference.

508
00:24:16,900 --> 00:24:18,200
- That's the knock-off.
- Well, here.

509
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,400
Maybe you should take another look at it.

510
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,200
I really haven't got time for this.

511
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,000
They're waiting for me upstairs.

512
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,800
- I'm sorry.
- You got the wrong jacket.

513
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,300
- I'm sorry.
- That's my father's jacket.

514
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,800
Who's waiting for you upstairs?

515
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,000
So, any... change?

516
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:46,200
Has he gotten any worse?

517
00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:48,500
No, it's about the same.

518
00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:50,400
No worse, no better.

519
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,400
- Damn.
- Yeah. You know,

520
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:56,000
I have to tell you that I'm quite impressed with your dedication...

521
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,900
- Really?
- ...to visiting this patient.

522
00:24:57,900 --> 00:24:59,800
Oh, thank you, Doctor.

523
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,500
That's very nice of you though.

524
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:04,000
Well, it is my friend's cousin.

525
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:06,700
Yes.

526
00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:10,100
How do you know if he's dead?

527
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:13,000
Well, it's pretty simple.

528
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,300
There's no heartbeat, no brain activity,

529
00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:17,300
and if anything happens...
- Because he's an organ donor,

530
00:25:17,300 --> 00:25:19,600
and his organs need to be free.
- Yes, I understand that.

531
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,600
We've got that under...
- If he sits here like a lox

532
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,600
for a couple of weeks the organs aren't going to be worth it.

533
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,500
Well, I don't think that will be a problem,

534
00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:27,800
we got that covered.
- Okay. Well, thank you.

535
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,700
Okay, listen... once again like I said,

536
00:25:29,700 --> 00:25:32,400
it's very nice of you to do what you're doing with him...

537
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,300
Oh yeah, it's the least I could do.

538
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:37,300
- Well, good. Good talking to you, okay?
- Okay. I'll see you later.

539
00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:41,500
- Ah...!
- Wasn't that lovely?

540
00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:43,600
Yes, look who's here.

541
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,600
Hmm. How's it going with the wish?

542
00:25:47,700 --> 00:25:50,700
- I don't know, I'm kind of out of ideas.
- Um-hmm. Really?

543
00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:52,900
- Hey, you know, I took you...
- You owe me!

544
00:25:52,900 --> 00:25:54,400
I took you to the Playboy mansion.

545
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,400
- What else do you want me to do?
- I want to see a naked woman.

546
00:25:58,400 --> 00:25:59,400
Okay.

547
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,400
All right, get dressed. I'll think of something.

548
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,200
- Where are we going?
- I don't know. I'll have to think.

549
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,200
- Hurry up. Get dressed. Come on.
- Okay.

550
00:26:06,100 --> 00:26:09,100
You're getting to be a real pain in the ass, you know that?

551
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,000
- What are we doing here?
- I forgot my cell phone.

552
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,000
My wife's in New York.

553
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,700
She gets very aggravated if she can't get in touch with me 24 hours a day.

554
00:26:24,300 --> 00:26:27,300
I have to have constant contact all the time.

555
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,400
Whoa. Is this place your house?

556
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,400
Nah, we're just renting. They're working on my house.

557
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,300
Oh, my god.

558
00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:48,500
Larry!

559
00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:59,700
So Wilson, have you thought about another wish?

560
00:26:59,900 --> 00:27:01,400
Yes, I have.

561
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,900
My wish is for Hugh Hefner's smoking jacket.

562
00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:05,900
The red one with the black trim.

563
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,300
The Roselli.

564
00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:14,100
- Larry.
- Hey, Gary.

565
00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:16,200
- What a pleasure.
- Great to meet you.

566
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,800
Oh, nice to meet you. I've been such a fan of "Seinfeld"

567
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,500
and to have lunch with you, and 18 holes of golf,

568
00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:22,700
what a way to have a day.

569
00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:24,200
- Oh, my god.
- Come right in.

570
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,600
I can't believe my wife got in touch with you to do this.

571
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,000
- It's unbelievable.
- Hang on to her, she's a good one.

572
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,100
This jacket?

573
00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:32,000
My friend gave it to me for a birthday present.

574
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,200
It's uncanny, Larry.

575
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,700
That's exactly like the jacket they award you when you win the masters.

576
00:27:36,700 --> 00:27:39,300
Now there's a 1961 masters jacket.

577
00:27:39,300 --> 00:27:41,100
- Wow.
- Isn't that a beauty?

578
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,000
- Look at this? Exactly the same.
- Exactly.

579
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,000
- Why don't you try it on?
- Really?

580
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,000
Yeah, absolutely. Put it on.

581
00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:53,600
I cannot get over how similar this jacket is to that.

582
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,600
You mind if I just go and have a look at this in the mirror?

583
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,300
What? This is the one you beat Palmer in '61, right?

584
00:28:00,300 --> 00:28:01,700
Absolutely. Come on.

585
00:28:01,700 --> 00:28:03,400
Look at that. Hey, it fits you.

586
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:04,400
Yeah.

587
00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:07,100
You'll have to excuse me a minute.

588
00:28:14,500 --> 00:28:16,500
Subtitles by Eyedol

589
00:28:16,500 --> 00:28:18,500
Transcript by Raceman.

590
00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:22,000
Only for www.forom.com

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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