1 00:00:07,579 --> 00:00:11,413 # Leo and Max, up off our backs # 2 00:00:11,450 --> 00:00:14,681 # Back on the great white way # 3 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:19,248 # Leo and Max, back on the tracks # 4 00:00:19,291 --> 00:00:21,987 # We're back on top to stay. # 5 00:00:22,027 --> 00:00:24,359 Okay, that's enough. Larry! 6 00:00:24,396 --> 00:00:27,263 You've been doing your homework. 7 00:00:27,299 --> 00:00:28,926 - I'm all astonishment. - Really?! 8 00:00:28,967 --> 00:00:31,026 It is fantastic, fierce, absolutely fierce. 9 00:00:31,069 --> 00:00:32,764 - Was it fierce? - Yes, it was fierce. 10 00:00:32,804 --> 00:00:34,795 - Really fierce? - Really fierce. 11 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,274 - My problem child no longer. - How did, uh... 12 00:00:37,309 --> 00:00:38,970 I mean, was I there too, or? 13 00:00:39,011 --> 00:00:40,808 Yeah yeah, you were doing the steps. 14 00:00:40,846 --> 00:00:43,406 Um, a little bit late on the pas de bourrée 15 00:00:43,448 --> 00:00:45,939 which then makes you late for the hitch-kick. 16 00:00:45,984 --> 00:00:49,317 Pas de bourée's are really tough. Pas de bourrée's are the toughest thing. 17 00:00:49,354 --> 00:00:51,754 It'll get easier. Yeah. 18 00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:54,315 But, oh my God, the difference is just astonishing. 19 00:00:54,359 --> 00:00:57,294 - I don't even think about it anymore. - Of course not. 20 00:00:57,329 --> 00:00:59,388 - That's what I told you would happen. - Yeah. 21 00:00:59,431 --> 00:01:02,332 - 'Cause it's in the muscle memory now. - Hey... 22 00:01:02,367 --> 00:01:04,927 - Michael, too bad you can't see. - Tell me about it. 23 00:01:04,970 --> 00:01:07,063 - It was great. - All right, thank you. 24 00:01:07,105 --> 00:01:09,335 - Great. Okay. - In a minute. Okay. 25 00:01:13,345 --> 00:01:14,869 - Hey. - Hey. 26 00:01:14,913 --> 00:01:16,574 Don't let that pas de bourrée stuff... 27 00:01:16,615 --> 00:01:18,981 Oh no, I'm not worried about it. I mean, I'll get it. 28 00:01:19,017 --> 00:01:22,043 If you wanna do any extra work on that... 29 00:01:22,087 --> 00:01:24,954 - You wanna continue? - Oh, I can't today. I'm meeting my dad. 30 00:01:24,990 --> 00:01:26,787 But, uh, tomorrow would be great. 31 00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:29,521 - Oh, okay. Your dad, huh? - Yeah. 32 00:01:29,561 --> 00:01:31,153 - Oh, he lives here? - Yeah. 33 00:01:31,196 --> 00:01:32,527 - No kidding? Wow. - Yeah. 34 00:01:32,564 --> 00:01:34,657 What does he do? 35 00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:37,965 Um, you know Health-Glo? 36 00:01:38,003 --> 00:01:40,403 - The mixed nuts? - Yeah, I've seen that. 37 00:01:40,439 --> 00:01:42,964 - Absolutely. That's his? - They're packages of... 38 00:01:43,008 --> 00:01:45,875 That's him. My dad is Health-Glo. He started that when he was, 39 00:01:45,911 --> 00:01:48,311 like, I don't know, right out of college or something. 40 00:01:48,347 --> 00:01:52,215 You know what? I get ideas all the time about mixed nut packages. 41 00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:54,684 Like, I'll see a mixed nut package, I'll think, 42 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,121 what would I want to put in a mixed nut? I have my own ideas about that. 43 00:01:58,156 --> 00:02:01,421 Maybe I could pitch some... some ideas to your dad. How would that be? 44 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:04,293 If I said I want to combine a pecan 45 00:02:04,329 --> 00:02:07,127 and a blueberry, you know? 46 00:02:07,165 --> 00:02:09,497 - Yeah. - And a dried cherry, 47 00:02:09,534 --> 00:02:12,230 and maybe a, uh, a filbert or something? 48 00:02:12,270 --> 00:02:15,637 You know, it's kind of like everyone has their idea 49 00:02:15,674 --> 00:02:18,108 of what would be the best combo. 50 00:02:18,143 --> 00:02:21,044 Just pitching... you know how it is. Come on, you must get 51 00:02:21,079 --> 00:02:25,175 people on the street come up and pitch you story ideas and stuff. 52 00:02:25,217 --> 00:02:28,118 It's just... you know what, stay in your element. 53 00:02:28,153 --> 00:02:30,713 Yeah. But I do have some good ideas. 54 00:02:30,756 --> 00:02:33,725 - I'm sure you do. - Hey, 9:00 A.M. tomorrow, guys. 55 00:02:33,759 --> 00:02:35,192 - Okay. - Oh, okay. 56 00:02:35,227 --> 00:02:36,854 I'm gonna go get a snack. 57 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:39,056 - Snack? I'll go with you. - Yeah. Oh, great. 58 00:02:40,565 --> 00:02:43,261 You and David are so good together. I'm so happy. 59 00:02:43,301 --> 00:02:45,462 - Love him, love that guy. - Oh God. 60 00:02:45,504 --> 00:02:47,267 Your chemistry together is fierce. 61 00:02:47,305 --> 00:02:49,535 - It is fierce. - Absolutely fierce, totally. 62 00:02:49,574 --> 00:02:51,633 - It's fierce. - Ah, so much better than Ben, 63 00:02:51,677 --> 00:02:54,441 - don't you think? - Ben was so bossy. 64 00:02:54,479 --> 00:02:56,845 Yeah, you know he had that kind of entitled attitude. 65 00:02:56,882 --> 00:03:00,545 - I don't care for it at all. - Totally, I know. 66 00:03:00,585 --> 00:03:03,577 Oh my God, my friend Anthony was supposed to come to rehearsal. 67 00:03:03,622 --> 00:03:05,681 That's right, and he didn't show up. 68 00:03:05,724 --> 00:03:07,885 Oh, I'm so worried about him. He's a doctor, 69 00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:09,917 he's gorgeous, he's smart, obviously, 70 00:03:09,961 --> 00:03:12,452 and he's single now... he just had a horrible break up. 71 00:03:12,497 --> 00:03:15,159 So I'm kind of looking for somebody to match him up with now. 72 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,929 - Is he good looking? - Gorgeous. 73 00:03:16,968 --> 00:03:18,492 # Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba # 74 00:03:18,537 --> 00:03:21,472 # Pirate's Booty, Pirate's Booty... # 75 00:03:21,506 --> 00:03:23,667 You're embarrassing me. Stop it, no. 76 00:03:23,709 --> 00:03:26,473 - I can't have Pirate's Booty? - No, but you can have a pear. 77 00:03:26,511 --> 00:03:28,274 - Hey! - What? 78 00:03:28,313 --> 00:03:30,213 Look at this, Health-Glo. 79 00:03:30,248 --> 00:03:32,375 - Those are Schwimmer's dad's nuts. - Yeah. 80 00:03:32,417 --> 00:03:35,079 Yes, let's check these out. 81 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,849 - Good stats. - Look at this. 82 00:03:36,888 --> 00:03:38,788 There's only four cashews in here. 83 00:03:38,824 --> 00:03:41,554 - The numbers are good. - Look, they're all the same. 84 00:03:41,593 --> 00:03:44,756 - This one's got four, three. - That's probably a mistake. 85 00:03:44,796 --> 00:03:47,788 The whole cashew-raisin balance is askew. 86 00:03:47,833 --> 00:03:50,631 - It's awful. - There's gotta be more cashews. 87 00:03:50,669 --> 00:03:53,900 - Absolutely. - Schwimmer's dad's pulling a fast one. 88 00:03:53,939 --> 00:03:56,499 - All right, well. - You can eat two packages of them. 89 00:03:56,541 --> 00:03:59,840 Fine, two packages. You know what? I gotta get out of this place. 90 00:03:59,878 --> 00:04:02,540 - I gotta get to my office. - Okay. 91 00:04:06,585 --> 00:04:10,248 # Back on the great white way. # 92 00:04:10,288 --> 00:04:12,222 Hey, Broadway. 93 00:04:12,257 --> 00:04:14,282 - How was rehearsal? - It was good. 94 00:04:14,326 --> 00:04:15,850 - Yeah? - Yeah. 95 00:04:15,894 --> 00:04:18,124 - Schwimmer's great. - Is he great? 96 00:04:18,163 --> 00:04:19,653 - He's fierce. - Is he? 97 00:04:19,698 --> 00:04:21,996 - Yes. - Look at you with the dancing terms. 98 00:04:22,033 --> 00:04:24,627 I'm glad it's going well. 99 00:04:24,669 --> 00:04:27,968 - Yeah, it's going great. - I got you a something to say thank you 100 00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,667 for those "Tonight Show" tickets. 101 00:04:29,708 --> 00:04:33,439 - You didn't have to do that. - My mom had the best time. 102 00:04:33,478 --> 00:04:35,844 - What do we got? - Just a little thing. 103 00:04:35,881 --> 00:04:37,815 Oh, a picture frame. Thank you. 104 00:04:37,849 --> 00:04:40,545 I didn't know what to get and Cheryl said it might be nice. 105 00:04:40,585 --> 00:04:44,077 - Put a glamour shot of her on the desk. - Is that what she suggested? 106 00:04:44,122 --> 00:04:46,317 And the dental hygienist called. 107 00:04:46,358 --> 00:04:49,122 - She said please call when you get in. - Dental hygienist? 108 00:04:49,161 --> 00:04:50,890 Hm, I wonder what she wants. 109 00:04:50,929 --> 00:04:53,261 - I just saw her last week. - Mm-hmm. 110 00:04:53,298 --> 00:04:55,061 Well. 111 00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:58,035 Get together? You and me? 112 00:04:58,069 --> 00:05:00,401 - Really? - Am I being too forward? 113 00:05:00,438 --> 00:05:03,407 'Cause, when you were at the office, 114 00:05:03,441 --> 00:05:04,965 you gave me the tongue sign. 115 00:05:05,010 --> 00:05:07,308 Tongue sign? Pfft! 116 00:05:07,345 --> 00:05:10,974 I was just really trying to get some cotton out of my mouth. 117 00:05:12,350 --> 00:05:14,318 So, uh, I don't get it. Why me? 118 00:05:14,352 --> 00:05:17,879 I don't know. You remind me of my college history teacher. 119 00:05:17,923 --> 00:05:20,118 Was he an avuncular bald Jew? 120 00:05:20,158 --> 00:05:23,286 Larry, I was... oh, I'm sorry. 121 00:05:23,328 --> 00:05:26,024 Um, you left your script at the rehearsal. 122 00:05:26,064 --> 00:05:28,294 - I was in the area. - Thank you so much. 123 00:05:28,333 --> 00:05:30,824 - So I can leave this here? - Put it down over there. 124 00:05:30,869 --> 00:05:33,099 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 125 00:05:42,581 --> 00:05:45,744 - Hello? - So where were we? 126 00:05:47,853 --> 00:05:49,718 She calls me just out of the blue. 127 00:05:49,754 --> 00:05:52,689 Out of the blue. It's all set up. 128 00:05:52,724 --> 00:05:56,285 It's all set up for next Thursday. 129 00:05:56,328 --> 00:05:57,852 Wow. 130 00:05:58,997 --> 00:06:00,760 Can I do this? Is it wrong? 131 00:06:00,799 --> 00:06:04,496 You'll never get another opportunity like this for the rest of your life. 132 00:06:04,536 --> 00:06:07,767 You have to do this. It's a gift from your wife. She wants you to do it. 133 00:06:07,806 --> 00:06:09,501 It's my 10th anniversary present. 134 00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:12,669 It's your 10th anniversary present. You have to do it. 135 00:06:12,711 --> 00:06:15,236 Oh, I hope I can do it. 136 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,714 - She's fierce. - Okay. 137 00:06:17,749 --> 00:06:19,944 At first I thought it was my imagination, 138 00:06:19,985 --> 00:06:21,646 but you're talking really gay. 139 00:06:23,555 --> 00:06:25,386 - No no no, really gay. - Get out of here. 140 00:06:25,423 --> 00:06:27,755 Fierce? Where does fierce come from? 141 00:06:27,792 --> 00:06:29,692 And everything is this and that. 142 00:06:29,728 --> 00:06:32,993 - What do you think? - Steve the choreographer says it. 143 00:06:33,031 --> 00:06:36,262 Steve the choreographer... you been spending a lot of time with him? 144 00:06:36,301 --> 00:06:40,032 - I probably picked up some mannerisms. - Some? All! You're him! 145 00:06:40,071 --> 00:06:41,834 - What? - You're him. 146 00:06:41,873 --> 00:06:44,171 You've become Steve the gay choreographer. 147 00:06:44,209 --> 00:06:46,074 - It's not that bad. - No, it's that bad. 148 00:06:46,111 --> 00:06:48,671 At first I thought, no no no, then..."fierce!" 149 00:06:50,348 --> 00:06:53,317 - Okay. - What's going on with your locker? 150 00:06:53,351 --> 00:06:55,751 - What? - It's a pigsty, man. 151 00:06:55,787 --> 00:06:57,982 - So what? - It's decorum. Have respect. 152 00:06:58,023 --> 00:07:00,355 What are you doing throwing all that shit on the ground? 153 00:07:00,392 --> 00:07:01,950 - Mind your own business. - Hey, Norm. 154 00:07:01,993 --> 00:07:03,984 - Hey, Jeff. - Hey, Norm. 155 00:07:04,029 --> 00:07:07,089 - Hello, Larry. - Norm, you should've seen rehearsals. 156 00:07:07,132 --> 00:07:09,362 They're really coming along. 157 00:07:09,401 --> 00:07:11,198 Oh, good. Mel told me. 158 00:07:11,236 --> 00:07:14,865 Hey, I forgot to ask you, wanna play golf on Saturday 159 00:07:14,906 --> 00:07:16,533 - with Marty Funkhouser? - Sure. 160 00:07:16,574 --> 00:07:19,668 I don't think you'll be playing golf with Marty Funkhouser this Saturday. 161 00:07:19,711 --> 00:07:22,544 - Why? - You know Leo his father? 162 00:07:22,580 --> 00:07:25,378 - Yeah. - We lost him yesterday. 163 00:07:25,417 --> 00:07:28,682 - Hodgkin's, real bad. - Oh. 164 00:07:30,889 --> 00:07:32,720 I thought he had the good Hodgkin's. 165 00:07:32,757 --> 00:07:34,384 - No such thing as good Hodgkin's. - Yes, there is. 166 00:07:34,426 --> 00:07:36,553 How do you know? What's your proof? 167 00:07:36,594 --> 00:07:38,186 I'm gonna tell you how I know, okay? 168 00:07:38,229 --> 00:07:39,753 I used to watch "Party of Five"... 169 00:07:39,798 --> 00:07:41,698 "Party of Five," right there. 170 00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:45,601 Charlie, the orphan son, the oldest one, he had good Hodgkin's. 171 00:07:45,637 --> 00:07:48,970 I wouldn't be going around quoting good Hodgkin's based on "Party of Five." 172 00:07:49,007 --> 00:07:51,441 - Just me. - Okay, fine. 173 00:07:52,944 --> 00:07:54,536 - Half off. - Really? 174 00:07:54,579 --> 00:07:56,638 - Here you go, guys. - What a deal. 175 00:07:56,681 --> 00:07:59,275 - I know. - You guys got a nice day. 176 00:07:59,317 --> 00:08:02,252 - Thank you, Sven. - You're welcome. 177 00:08:02,287 --> 00:08:05,154 All right. What is that? Is that Swedish, Sven? 178 00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:07,021 It's Norwegian. 179 00:08:09,260 --> 00:08:13,128 I'm sorry, I thought Sven was a Swedish name. 180 00:08:13,164 --> 00:08:15,359 It's not. 'Cause I don't look Swedish, do I? 181 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,493 It's a big difference. 182 00:08:17,535 --> 00:08:19,867 Apparently. What's the difference, may I ask? 183 00:08:19,904 --> 00:08:24,364 Culture, looks, names, history, food, dancing. 184 00:08:24,409 --> 00:08:26,741 Okay okay, sorry, honest mistake. 185 00:08:28,179 --> 00:08:30,807 Are Swedes touchy if you refer to them as Norwegians? 186 00:08:30,849 --> 00:08:33,750 - Why don't you ask a Swede? - Yeah, maybe I will. 187 00:08:36,621 --> 00:08:38,589 - Hey. - Hi. 188 00:08:38,623 --> 00:08:42,081 - Hey, fancy-pants. - Oh yeah, I gotta go to a funeral. 189 00:08:42,127 --> 00:08:45,585 - Uh, oh, I'm sorry. - Yeah, it's a guy I knew. 190 00:08:45,630 --> 00:08:48,292 - Are you okay to move and stuff? - Yeah yeah yeah yeah. 191 00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:51,564 - I was in this store a few days ago. - Yeah? 192 00:08:51,603 --> 00:08:55,095 And, uh, I saw a bag of your dad's cashew-raisins. 193 00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:56,937 Oh, good good, did you get it? 194 00:08:56,975 --> 00:08:59,205 Yeah. He's kind of, uh... 195 00:08:59,244 --> 00:09:02,236 he's kind of skimping on the cashews a little bit. 196 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,907 Uh, what do you mean? 197 00:09:03,948 --> 00:09:07,281 There's like four cashews in a whole bag, you know? 198 00:09:07,318 --> 00:09:10,685 - Um... - Here look. I'll show you. 199 00:09:10,722 --> 00:09:13,020 See? 200 00:09:13,058 --> 00:09:15,686 Wow, you... you saved a bag to show me. 201 00:09:15,727 --> 00:09:18,890 I didn't save it. I'm going to the funeral, I need a snack actually. 202 00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:21,194 They're very good. They're delicious cashews, 203 00:09:21,232 --> 00:09:23,928 but would it kill him to put three more cashews in there? 204 00:09:23,968 --> 00:09:27,199 You know what it is? I mean, the cashews are expensive, first of all. 205 00:09:27,238 --> 00:09:31,368 Um, there's a... you know there's a shortage right now. 206 00:09:31,409 --> 00:09:33,707 - Cashew shortage? - It's for the last several... 207 00:09:33,745 --> 00:09:36,942 - actually, several years. - I never read about a cashew shortage. 208 00:09:36,981 --> 00:09:39,006 That's because you're not in the industry. 209 00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:41,450 - Can I give him a little advice? - Please. 210 00:09:41,486 --> 00:09:44,978 I would call it raisins. 211 00:09:45,023 --> 00:09:48,151 And then let people be surprised by the cashews. 212 00:09:48,193 --> 00:09:50,218 You're not serious, are you? 213 00:09:50,261 --> 00:09:52,991 I am, yeah. It's better than being disappointed 214 00:09:53,031 --> 00:09:55,499 by buying something called cashew-raisins. 215 00:09:55,533 --> 00:09:58,331 We could put more in there, but they'd charge you a lot more. 216 00:09:58,369 --> 00:10:01,463 That's the balance. We wanted to make an affordable snack. 217 00:10:01,506 --> 00:10:04,407 - An affordable snack. - Give me three more cashews in here, 218 00:10:04,442 --> 00:10:07,309 I'll be a happy man. Then I think you got the right ratio. 219 00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:10,109 That's all. No big deal. 220 00:10:10,148 --> 00:10:13,447 Should we just rehearse? Can we get started? 221 00:10:16,621 --> 00:10:18,714 Hey. 222 00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:20,724 Hey. 223 00:10:20,758 --> 00:10:24,250 Look at this. Letter from the club. 224 00:10:24,295 --> 00:10:26,354 I didn't get one. 225 00:10:26,397 --> 00:10:29,628 - Having a dirty locker. - You're kidding me?! 226 00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,999 If I don't clean it, they're gonna suspend me. 227 00:10:32,036 --> 00:10:35,733 - You believe this bullshit? - Wow, how do you think they found out? 228 00:10:35,773 --> 00:10:38,799 - Norm. - Why would he do something like that? 229 00:10:38,843 --> 00:10:41,038 - He hates me. - He hates you, huh? 230 00:10:41,079 --> 00:10:44,571 - He hates me. - Wow, that's a horrible thing to do. 231 00:10:44,616 --> 00:10:47,551 Terrible, yeah. 232 00:10:47,585 --> 00:10:49,382 What do you eat those things for? 233 00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:52,480 - What, Health-Glo? - There's no cashews. I love cashews. 234 00:10:52,524 --> 00:10:55,220 - They put no cashews in there. - Yeah, you know who makes it? 235 00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:56,750 - Who? - Schwimmer's father. 236 00:10:56,794 --> 00:10:58,489 - You're kidding me. - Swear to God. 237 00:10:58,530 --> 00:11:00,896 - You ought to tell him to add cashews. - I did. 238 00:11:00,932 --> 00:11:03,526 - Really? Wow, great, great. - Yeah. 239 00:11:03,568 --> 00:11:05,433 - Hey, Norm. - Shalom, Jeff. 240 00:11:05,470 --> 00:11:06,994 - Hey, Norm? - Yeah? 241 00:11:08,106 --> 00:11:10,301 Care for some, uh, cashew-raisins? 242 00:11:10,341 --> 00:11:12,969 No, I have no appetite. 243 00:11:14,245 --> 00:11:16,645 Hey, Norm, let me ask you something. 244 00:11:17,916 --> 00:11:22,148 I got a letter from the club about having a dirty locker. 245 00:11:22,187 --> 00:11:24,121 They don't like dirty lockers. 246 00:11:24,155 --> 00:11:26,282 - Yeah. - You remember Burt Suzuki? 247 00:11:26,324 --> 00:11:29,555 - Yeah. - They kicked him out months ago. 248 00:11:29,594 --> 00:11:32,654 - Filthy locker, filthy. - Yeah, I was just kind of wondering 249 00:11:32,697 --> 00:11:35,461 maybe, if you had anything to do with that? 250 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:36,990 - Me? - Yeah. 251 00:11:37,035 --> 00:11:39,503 No. 252 00:11:39,537 --> 00:11:41,562 You sure? 253 00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:44,030 Yeah. 254 00:12:11,402 --> 00:12:14,667 - I'm very sorry. - Thank you very much. 255 00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:16,799 I'm very sorry. 256 00:12:16,841 --> 00:12:18,741 Very sorry. 257 00:12:18,776 --> 00:12:20,607 - Hi, Larry. - Sorry about your uncle. 258 00:12:20,645 --> 00:12:23,580 - Thank you very much. - Very sorry. 259 00:12:25,350 --> 00:12:28,649 Very sorry. Sorry about your dad. 260 00:12:28,686 --> 00:12:31,553 - Thanks, Larry. - He was a good man. 261 00:12:31,589 --> 00:12:33,853 He was a great man. 262 00:12:35,627 --> 00:12:38,061 Maybe we'll play golf sometime, when you're... 263 00:12:38,096 --> 00:12:40,064 - Mm-hmm. ...feel better. 264 00:12:40,098 --> 00:12:42,896 - If you feel up to it. - Mm-hmm. 265 00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:47,166 Sure you don't want to give me that weatherman's tip? 266 00:12:47,205 --> 00:12:49,605 Right now I'm in mourning. 267 00:12:49,641 --> 00:12:52,610 No, I'm not saying now, but some other time, you know. 268 00:12:52,644 --> 00:12:56,637 We'll talk about it. Do what... do what you have to do. 269 00:12:59,817 --> 00:13:01,512 What's with the open casket? 270 00:13:01,552 --> 00:13:03,713 I know, why do we have to go look at that? 271 00:13:03,755 --> 00:13:05,916 Hey, Jeff Rosenthal. 272 00:13:05,957 --> 00:13:07,652 He was a writer on "Party of Five." 273 00:13:07,692 --> 00:13:09,387 - That guy, really? - Yeah. 274 00:13:09,427 --> 00:13:11,156 Go ask him. 275 00:13:12,864 --> 00:13:15,298 Excuse me. I'm sorry. 276 00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:17,233 - Can I talk to you for a second? - Sure. 277 00:13:17,268 --> 00:13:20,704 This is gonna sound a little crazy. Did you work on "Party of Five"? 278 00:13:20,738 --> 00:13:22,535 Yeah. 279 00:13:22,573 --> 00:13:25,371 You remember the season when Charlie had Hodgkin's? 280 00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:26,900 Right. Yeah yeah. 281 00:13:26,944 --> 00:13:30,311 So in the show, didn't he have good Hodgkin's? 282 00:13:30,348 --> 00:13:34,284 Well, he had Hodgkin's that he survived. 283 00:13:34,319 --> 00:13:36,287 I don't know if that's good. 284 00:13:36,321 --> 00:13:38,016 He survived it, so that was good. 285 00:13:38,056 --> 00:13:41,048 But isn't there a good Hodgkin's and a bad Hodgkin's? 286 00:13:41,092 --> 00:13:44,823 No, there's Hodgkin's and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. 287 00:13:44,862 --> 00:13:48,093 And Hodgkin's disease has a better survival rate. 288 00:13:48,132 --> 00:13:50,532 Okay, so that's a better Hodgkin's. 289 00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,832 I mean, that's a valid point, 290 00:13:52,870 --> 00:13:55,737 but I wouldn't say it was good. 291 00:13:55,773 --> 00:13:58,833 - It's better. - It's better. 292 00:13:58,876 --> 00:14:01,572 - Okay. - But not good. 293 00:14:01,612 --> 00:14:03,910 Better. 294 00:14:06,684 --> 00:14:08,481 Okay, there's two kinds of Hodgkin's. 295 00:14:08,519 --> 00:14:11,079 One has a better survival rate than the other. 296 00:14:11,122 --> 00:14:12,851 - Right. - Okay, so it's good. 297 00:14:12,890 --> 00:14:14,915 No, it's not good. 298 00:14:14,959 --> 00:14:16,517 Well, it's better than the other. 299 00:14:16,561 --> 00:14:18,188 Okay, better, but it's not good. 300 00:14:18,229 --> 00:14:19,821 Compared to the other, it's good. 301 00:14:35,813 --> 00:14:37,610 - What? - My 5-wood's in there. 302 00:14:37,648 --> 00:14:39,445 - What? - Go see for yourself. 303 00:14:39,484 --> 00:14:40,951 It's my 5-wood. 304 00:14:44,589 --> 00:14:47,183 - Oh my God. - The fuck is my 5-wood 305 00:14:47,225 --> 00:14:49,659 - doing in the casket? - I have no idea. 306 00:14:49,694 --> 00:14:53,755 - He wanted to be buried with his club. - Yeah? 307 00:14:53,798 --> 00:14:57,290 Sven must have put my club in there, probably on purpose. 308 00:14:57,335 --> 00:15:00,498 - That's a horrible thing to do. - That club's irreplaceable. 309 00:15:00,538 --> 00:15:03,666 - It's 10 years old. They don't make it. - Oh, I'm so sorry. 310 00:15:03,708 --> 00:15:05,471 I'm sorry, man. 311 00:15:08,112 --> 00:15:10,444 - You got your clubs in your trunk? - Yeah. 312 00:15:11,682 --> 00:15:13,946 - No, not... no no no. - Why? 313 00:15:13,985 --> 00:15:16,146 Because I like the way mine feels. 314 00:15:16,187 --> 00:15:18,815 Your club, I can get at any store in the country. 315 00:15:18,856 --> 00:15:21,256 - But I like the feel. - It doesn't matter. It's one club. 316 00:15:21,292 --> 00:15:23,385 - I like that club. - Why should this guy 317 00:15:23,428 --> 00:15:27,194 be buried in eternity with my club? That's not fair. 318 00:15:27,231 --> 00:15:30,257 That's not fair. I'll buy you a new club today. 319 00:15:30,301 --> 00:15:32,861 The exact same one. And it better have the same feel. 320 00:16:42,406 --> 00:16:46,308 My Uncle Leo was more than my uncle, 321 00:16:46,344 --> 00:16:47,902 he was like a second father to me. 322 00:16:47,945 --> 00:16:51,881 And he loved life, my Uncle Leo. Didn't he? 323 00:16:51,916 --> 00:16:55,613 He was a guy who lived it to the hilt. 324 00:16:57,388 --> 00:17:00,255 Loved his only son Marty. 325 00:17:00,291 --> 00:17:03,749 He loved a good walk. Loved ginger-ale... 326 00:17:03,794 --> 00:17:06,422 on ice with the fizz. 327 00:17:06,464 --> 00:17:08,830 - He liked driving his car. - Hey. 328 00:17:08,866 --> 00:17:11,198 - Hated to fly. - Hey! 329 00:17:11,235 --> 00:17:14,398 A short nap in the afternoon; "Jeopardy." 330 00:17:14,438 --> 00:17:16,998 - Those of you that knew him. - Look at that. 331 00:17:17,041 --> 00:17:20,533 He loved to frame the answers 332 00:17:20,578 --> 00:17:23,308 - like questions, huh? - It's disgusting. 333 00:17:23,347 --> 00:17:26,908 Every second Tuesday, a haircut. 334 00:17:29,153 --> 00:17:31,917 I'm just gonna say goodbye to my Uncle Leo. 335 00:17:35,059 --> 00:17:36,356 Marty, come here a minute. 336 00:17:40,631 --> 00:17:43,327 Is this his 5-wood? 337 00:17:47,872 --> 00:17:50,170 No. Someone must have switched it. 338 00:17:55,112 --> 00:17:56,477 What is that? 339 00:17:56,514 --> 00:18:00,041 - Is that a cashew? - Yeah, it's a cashew. 340 00:18:24,809 --> 00:18:27,744 We are kicked out of our country club 341 00:18:27,778 --> 00:18:30,645 because of a fucking 5-iron? 342 00:18:30,681 --> 00:18:32,581 - It was a 5-wood. - Jeffrey? 343 00:18:32,617 --> 00:18:34,949 You didn't know the golf club had your name on it? 344 00:18:34,986 --> 00:18:36,681 Fucking idiot! 345 00:18:36,721 --> 00:18:39,212 What are we supposed to do now, all right? 346 00:18:39,256 --> 00:18:41,224 Where's Cheryl gonna play tennis? 347 00:18:41,258 --> 00:18:44,625 - Good question. Where am I gonna play? - Yeah, exactly. 348 00:18:44,662 --> 00:18:47,096 I've been playing at that club for years. 349 00:18:47,131 --> 00:18:49,964 She's in the tournaments. She's one of the best players in the club. 350 00:18:50,001 --> 00:18:51,491 She's not that great. 351 00:18:51,535 --> 00:18:53,628 Matter of fact, I am and I think I proved that. 352 00:18:53,671 --> 00:18:55,969 I beat her 6-1, 6-love 353 00:18:56,007 --> 00:18:58,567 - two years ago. - Two years ago! 354 00:18:58,609 --> 00:19:00,406 And you're still hanging onto that. 355 00:19:00,444 --> 00:19:03,675 You know how many times I've played tennis since? You know what? 356 00:19:03,714 --> 00:19:05,545 The truth of the matter is 357 00:19:05,583 --> 00:19:08,279 Cheryl cares about that club, I care about that club, 358 00:19:08,319 --> 00:19:11,777 Sammi goes to day camp there with the same kids she's been with for years. 359 00:19:11,822 --> 00:19:13,847 You two don't give a shit about anybody but yourself. 360 00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:16,451 You're fucking narcissists, okay? 361 00:19:16,494 --> 00:19:19,793 It's all a game, all a big fucking game. 362 00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:22,230 - What are we gonna do? - You're just so inconsiderate. 363 00:19:22,266 --> 00:19:24,427 You don't think about what's gonna happen next. 364 00:19:24,468 --> 00:19:26,766 You know what? That 5-wood was irreplaceable. 365 00:19:26,804 --> 00:19:28,965 - Mine's replaceable. - And I'll tell you, 366 00:19:29,006 --> 00:19:31,236 I would rather be out of that club with my 5-wood 367 00:19:31,275 --> 00:19:35,006 - than in it without it. - We'd rather you be in it without it. 368 00:19:35,046 --> 00:19:37,344 We've no place to go, no place to play. 369 00:19:37,381 --> 00:19:39,645 It was our social life! 370 00:19:39,684 --> 00:19:41,652 Okay, you know what? 371 00:19:41,686 --> 00:19:43,711 I think my friend Julie was just saying 372 00:19:43,754 --> 00:19:46,814 that the Beverly Park Country Club might be taking new members. 373 00:19:46,857 --> 00:19:48,882 Beverly Park, that's pretty... 374 00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:50,951 And it's a beautiful country club. 375 00:19:50,995 --> 00:19:52,860 All right, I don't want to offend you, 376 00:19:52,897 --> 00:19:55,593 but there's, like, three fucking Jews in the whole club. 377 00:19:55,633 --> 00:19:58,193 It's not for us. It's WASP, WASP, Republican city. 378 00:19:58,235 --> 00:20:01,204 Okay, you know what? I fit in with you guys all the time. 379 00:20:01,238 --> 00:20:03,468 For years, I've been going to your thing, so... 380 00:20:03,507 --> 00:20:05,236 How am I gonna get by in the interview? 381 00:20:05,276 --> 00:20:07,836 This one would stick out like a sore fucking thumb. 382 00:20:07,878 --> 00:20:10,813 - This Jew-face over here. - I'm more of a Jew-face than you? 383 00:20:10,848 --> 00:20:13,908 Hey, fuck you, Larry. I didn't get us into this predicament. 384 00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:16,977 - I'm much more gentiley than you are. - Okay okay, look. 385 00:20:17,021 --> 00:20:18,784 We get an interview, we go in there. 386 00:20:18,823 --> 00:20:20,723 - It's a great golf course. - It is. 387 00:20:20,758 --> 00:20:24,023 - They have a beautiful tennis court. - But you know what? 388 00:20:24,061 --> 00:20:26,621 You have to walk on that course. There's no carts. 389 00:20:26,664 --> 00:20:28,723 - We like to take a cart. - I'm not joining. 390 00:20:28,766 --> 00:20:30,825 It wouldn't hurt you to walk a little, Jeff. 391 00:20:30,868 --> 00:20:33,769 That's what it's all about. You can't exercise a little bit? 392 00:20:33,804 --> 00:20:36,295 I'd have to get a doctor's note in order to take a cart. 393 00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:39,104 - So get a fucking doctor's note! - I don't know any doctor. 394 00:20:39,143 --> 00:20:41,077 It's always something with them. 395 00:20:49,553 --> 00:20:51,316 Oskie. 396 00:20:51,355 --> 00:20:54,222 Hey, Oskie! Come on. 397 00:20:57,828 --> 00:20:59,887 What's going on? What are you doing? 398 00:21:01,699 --> 00:21:03,963 Should I sit? 399 00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:05,366 Yeah. 400 00:21:21,752 --> 00:21:23,583 The dog bit my penis! 401 00:21:34,999 --> 00:21:37,991 - Fucking dog should be put to sleep. - He should be put to sleep. 402 00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:40,833 - You think so too? - He's biting people. That's dangerous. 403 00:21:40,871 --> 00:21:42,668 He's never bitten anybody before, ever. 404 00:21:42,706 --> 00:21:45,197 It's not the first time with you and the dog. I know that. 405 00:21:45,242 --> 00:21:48,575 What does that mean? What happened with the dog? 406 00:21:48,612 --> 00:21:52,013 - Tell her. - Nothing happened with the dog. 407 00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:54,040 Obviously something happened. 408 00:21:54,084 --> 00:21:57,383 - He said it's not the first incident. - He pet the dog before. 409 00:21:57,421 --> 00:21:59,981 Dog was in his lap. He got up, he had a boner. 410 00:22:01,225 --> 00:22:03,887 Why did the dog give you an erection? 411 00:22:05,095 --> 00:22:06,892 And why didn't you tell me about that? 412 00:22:06,931 --> 00:22:09,798 First of all, that's not true, okay? 413 00:22:09,834 --> 00:22:12,894 - That's not true. I was petting the... - Why would he say that? 414 00:22:12,937 --> 00:22:15,906 - Because he's a moron... - I'm making it up? What happened? 415 00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:19,000 I was petting the dog, and then the dog left 416 00:22:19,043 --> 00:22:22,206 - and I got up and I adjusted my pants. - Because you had an erection? 417 00:22:22,246 --> 00:22:24,271 No, because I just had to adjust my pants. 418 00:22:24,315 --> 00:22:26,408 - And then Susie saw me. - What was the dog doing to you? 419 00:22:26,450 --> 00:22:29,419 Nothing, I was just petting it. You see what you did? 420 00:22:29,453 --> 00:22:32,081 - You see what you did now? - Oh my God, wait a second. 421 00:22:32,122 --> 00:22:35,023 Is that why Ted Danson didn't want you to take care of his dog? 422 00:22:35,059 --> 00:22:37,323 Mmm-hmm. 423 00:22:40,130 --> 00:22:42,621 Oh, God, I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. 424 00:22:42,666 --> 00:22:45,464 Some privacy here. 425 00:22:45,502 --> 00:22:48,403 Okay, let me see. I just got this. 426 00:22:48,439 --> 00:22:50,805 I'm sorry, I haven't really looked at it. 427 00:22:50,841 --> 00:22:53,207 They checked you in outside and, uh, 428 00:22:53,244 --> 00:22:55,940 you don't have any allergies to medicines or... 429 00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:58,448 - No no. - You have a history of heart disease? 430 00:22:58,482 --> 00:23:01,110 High blood pressure, eczema, anything like that? 431 00:23:01,151 --> 00:23:03,619 - No no. - Okay, good, good. 432 00:23:03,654 --> 00:23:06,748 All right, so what's the problem? 433 00:23:12,396 --> 00:23:14,455 I, uh... 434 00:23:16,133 --> 00:23:18,397 a dog, uh... 435 00:23:21,238 --> 00:23:25,470 - A dog? - Bit me over there. Bit my penis. 436 00:23:27,111 --> 00:23:30,137 A-a dog bit your penis? 437 00:23:30,180 --> 00:23:32,614 Okay, well... 438 00:23:32,650 --> 00:23:34,550 that sounds painful. 439 00:23:34,585 --> 00:23:36,985 Sorry. 440 00:23:37,021 --> 00:23:40,457 Let's see. Okay, Mr... Larry David? 441 00:23:42,860 --> 00:23:45,385 Oh my God. 442 00:23:45,429 --> 00:23:47,090 Are you in "The Producers"? 443 00:23:48,799 --> 00:23:51,893 - Yeah. - I'm best friends with Steve. 444 00:23:51,936 --> 00:23:54,370 Steve, the choreographer for "The Producers." 445 00:23:54,405 --> 00:23:56,669 Anthony? 446 00:23:56,707 --> 00:23:58,231 Yes! 447 00:23:58,275 --> 00:23:59,742 Yes! He mentioned me, then? 448 00:24:01,312 --> 00:24:03,246 He's told me a lot about you, actually. 449 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,545 He said that I think you love to play golf and... 450 00:24:06,583 --> 00:24:08,710 I golf too. 451 00:24:08,752 --> 00:24:11,448 That's the only reason I'm bringing it up. 452 00:24:12,923 --> 00:24:16,359 So, okay. Well, I'll go all day if you let me. 453 00:24:16,393 --> 00:24:18,418 Why don't you give me "Mister Baggie" 454 00:24:20,097 --> 00:24:23,794 and just stand up and show me what the dog did? 455 00:24:36,146 --> 00:24:38,876 And he says to you, "You got it out there, 456 00:24:38,916 --> 00:24:41,282 - but it's low and to the right." - Hello! 457 00:24:41,318 --> 00:24:45,550 - Hi, Erin told us to come right in. - Cheryl? 458 00:24:45,589 --> 00:24:47,352 - Yes. Cheryl. - Jim Rummington. 459 00:24:47,391 --> 00:24:49,416 - Nice to meet you. - Hello, Jim. Larry. 460 00:24:49,460 --> 00:24:51,655 - Larry? - Larry David. 461 00:24:51,695 --> 00:24:54,323 - What a great pleasure to meet you. - I'm sure it's ours. 462 00:24:54,365 --> 00:24:56,094 - Please, have a seat. - Thank you. 463 00:24:56,133 --> 00:24:58,863 - Here you go, sweetheart. - Thank you, darling. 464 00:24:58,902 --> 00:25:00,802 By the way, gentlemen, 465 00:25:00,838 --> 00:25:05,798 I must comment on how friendly everybody was. 466 00:25:05,843 --> 00:25:08,573 - We just parked our Hummer in the lot. - You have a Hummer? 467 00:25:08,612 --> 00:25:11,137 - Oh yes. - How do you like it? 468 00:25:11,181 --> 00:25:13,308 Oh, I like it. 469 00:25:13,350 --> 00:25:16,114 - It's very roomy. - What a beauty. 470 00:25:16,153 --> 00:25:18,644 I'm not too worried about the global warming. 471 00:25:18,689 --> 00:25:20,782 People like it a little warmer, don't they? 472 00:25:20,824 --> 00:25:23,452 - Am I crazy here? - By the way, 473 00:25:23,494 --> 00:25:25,462 where did you go to school? 474 00:25:25,496 --> 00:25:27,589 New Haven. I went to Yale. 475 00:25:27,631 --> 00:25:29,963 - Oh, I see, I see. - Did you meet in school? 476 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,436 - Um, no, actually. - Not really. 477 00:25:33,470 --> 00:25:35,995 It's sort of a May-December relationship. 478 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,803 I don't know if you've noticed. 479 00:25:37,841 --> 00:25:40,435 I would call it May-October. I wouldn't say December. 480 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,041 No, we met at a fundraiser. 481 00:25:45,082 --> 00:25:47,141 - What was the fundraiser? - It was for... 482 00:25:47,184 --> 00:25:48,913 - Ronald Reagan. - Reagan. 483 00:25:48,952 --> 00:25:52,080 - Oh yeah? Oh I see. - Yeah, we were both volunteering. 484 00:25:52,122 --> 00:25:55,114 Just volunteering our time and our effort. 485 00:25:55,159 --> 00:25:57,787 Good for you. Because when you're young, 486 00:25:57,828 --> 00:26:00,956 you have the energy and the power to do those things. 487 00:26:00,998 --> 00:26:03,466 But now, that's the interesting question, 488 00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:06,765 - what do you do afterwards? - Right. 489 00:26:06,804 --> 00:26:09,500 That's a good question. What do you do after that? 490 00:26:09,540 --> 00:26:12,509 - You maintain that kind of commitment. - We come to a place 491 00:26:12,543 --> 00:26:15,103 like this beautiful country club, and we make... 492 00:26:15,145 --> 00:26:17,170 Magnificent, really. Just magnificent. 493 00:26:17,214 --> 00:26:20,183 You feel comfortable here? 494 00:26:20,217 --> 00:26:22,981 Oh, so at home. 495 00:26:23,020 --> 00:26:24,817 Quite comfortable. 496 00:26:24,855 --> 00:26:27,187 Let me say the golf course is magnificent too, 497 00:26:27,224 --> 00:26:29,488 I'm fairly new to golf. 498 00:26:29,526 --> 00:26:33,121 - Polo was my game. - Really? 499 00:26:33,163 --> 00:26:35,097 Oh, well, I had a terrible accident. 500 00:26:35,132 --> 00:26:36,793 I got hit with a mallet in the head 501 00:26:36,834 --> 00:26:39,769 and fell off the horse, and unfortunately my polo days are over. 502 00:26:39,803 --> 00:26:42,863 But I found the swing really works for golf. 503 00:26:42,906 --> 00:26:45,636 - Yes, he's a natural. - I picked it up right away. 504 00:26:45,676 --> 00:26:47,803 You know, that's right. It is a similar swing. 505 00:26:47,845 --> 00:26:51,008 It's a similar swing. Think about it, yeah. 506 00:26:51,048 --> 00:26:53,346 By the way, did I notice 507 00:26:53,383 --> 00:26:56,841 a log-cabin Republican in the parking lot? 508 00:26:56,887 --> 00:26:59,185 Was that you? Did you let that one in, Ken? 509 00:27:02,559 --> 00:27:04,527 I thought we did. 510 00:27:04,561 --> 00:27:06,358 Let me ask you a question. What hobbies 511 00:27:06,396 --> 00:27:09,957 or social societies have you been involved in? 512 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,491 That's a fair question. Outside of golf of course, 513 00:27:12,536 --> 00:27:15,869 - we like sailing. - Yes, we sail as a pair. 514 00:27:15,906 --> 00:27:19,034 Got a schooner down at the marina. 515 00:27:19,076 --> 00:27:21,442 A schooner in the marina? That's marvelous. 516 00:27:21,478 --> 00:27:23,969 - You must know Baxter Churchill? - Of course. 517 00:27:24,014 --> 00:27:25,982 - Yes yes. - Sail it yourself 518 00:27:26,016 --> 00:27:27,847 or do you have a captain? 519 00:27:27,885 --> 00:27:32,345 Occasionally I'll bring a captain in if it's windy. 520 00:27:32,389 --> 00:27:34,448 Could I ask you a few more questions 521 00:27:34,491 --> 00:27:37,983 - about organizations you belong to? - Absolutely. 522 00:27:38,028 --> 00:27:40,292 Well, I'm a Moose... 523 00:27:40,330 --> 00:27:43,356 - and an Elk. - You're a Moose and an Elk? 524 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,925 - I'm a Moose and an Elk, yes. - That's extraordinary. 525 00:27:45,969 --> 00:27:51,100 - I'm in the Rotary Club. - Well, oh my. 526 00:27:51,141 --> 00:27:53,609 What other organizations are you members of? 527 00:27:53,644 --> 00:27:56,977 We're on the Council for Conservative Citizens, 528 00:27:57,014 --> 00:27:59,107 - National Right to Life Committee. - Yes. 529 00:27:59,149 --> 00:28:01,117 we're in the Heritage Foundation. 530 00:28:01,151 --> 00:28:02,743 I think this has gone rather well. 531 00:28:02,786 --> 00:28:05,016 - Proceedings have come to an end. - Great. 532 00:28:05,055 --> 00:28:06,784 We've enjoyed meeting you. 533 00:28:06,823 --> 00:28:10,315 - We've enjoyed meeting you. - Gentlemen, before we go... 534 00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:13,454 unfortunately because of my polo accident, 535 00:28:13,497 --> 00:28:16,933 I'm not able to walk the course 536 00:28:16,967 --> 00:28:18,901 and I'll have to take a cart. 537 00:28:18,936 --> 00:28:21,905 That's from my personal physician. 538 00:28:21,939 --> 00:28:24,169 - Oh, I see. - One Anthony Parker. 539 00:28:24,208 --> 00:28:27,006 Dr. Anthony Parker. 540 00:28:33,317 --> 00:28:36,184 - Hello? - Hey, Delilah, it's Larry David. 541 00:28:36,220 --> 00:28:39,053 - Hi, Larry. - I'm sorry, 542 00:28:39,089 --> 00:28:41,148 but I'm not gonna be able to make it tonight. 543 00:28:41,191 --> 00:28:43,056 Why not? 544 00:28:43,093 --> 00:28:45,653 A dog bit my penis.