1 00:00:13,593 --> 00:00:15,754 Larry David? 2 00:00:15,796 --> 00:00:18,697 Hi, Phil Dunlap, here for the chef's position. 3 00:00:18,732 --> 00:00:20,666 - Oh. - Hi. 4 00:00:20,701 --> 00:00:22,999 Hi. 5 00:00:23,036 --> 00:00:26,005 Thank you, thank you very much. 6 00:00:26,039 --> 00:00:28,303 Yeah. 7 00:00:28,342 --> 00:00:32,073 Yeah. Hey, look at you. Look at you. 8 00:00:32,112 --> 00:00:34,080 Yeah, look at you. 9 00:00:34,114 --> 00:00:36,105 Wow. When did you start losing it? 10 00:00:36,149 --> 00:00:39,175 I started losing when I was 15. 11 00:00:39,219 --> 00:00:41,653 15, wow, earlier than me, yeah. 12 00:00:41,688 --> 00:00:43,713 Yeah, a little bit earlier. I actually like it. 13 00:00:43,757 --> 00:00:45,850 Ah, yeah, me too. 14 00:00:45,892 --> 00:00:47,792 A little sunscreen on it and it's fine. 15 00:00:47,828 --> 00:00:50,296 - Yeah, a lot of sunscreen, right? - Exactly. 16 00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:52,389 You can't go outside without the sunscreen. 17 00:00:52,432 --> 00:00:54,696 No convertibles. Oh, God, I hate that. 18 00:00:54,735 --> 00:00:57,203 Oh, absolutely. 'Cause you have to wear a hat 19 00:00:57,237 --> 00:00:59,569 if you're gonna be in a convertible, 20 00:00:59,606 --> 00:01:01,267 and then you look like you're trying to hide something. 21 00:01:01,308 --> 00:01:03,276 That's what they do, these guys with the hats, don't they? 22 00:01:03,310 --> 00:01:06,404 They wear it all the time, and they'll meet a girl 23 00:01:06,446 --> 00:01:07,538 then they'll show up on a date. 24 00:01:07,581 --> 00:01:08,843 Are they gonna take the hat off? Wear it? 25 00:01:08,882 --> 00:01:10,509 They have a terrible decision... 26 00:01:10,550 --> 00:01:12,848 Then the girl is gonna be, like, "I didn't know you were bald." 27 00:01:12,886 --> 00:01:14,649 - "You misrepresented yourself." - Exactly. 28 00:01:14,688 --> 00:01:16,451 "You're a liar." Right, yeah. 29 00:01:16,490 --> 00:01:19,186 - Minoxidil? - No, you? 30 00:01:19,226 --> 00:01:20,523 No. 31 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,289 Every day for the rest of your life you have to... 32 00:01:22,329 --> 00:01:24,889 - The drops and everything? - Then you got to massage it in. 33 00:01:24,931 --> 00:01:27,695 There's something psychologically going wrong... 34 00:01:27,734 --> 00:01:30,259 Psychologically wrong with them, what about the transplant people? 35 00:01:30,303 --> 00:01:32,271 - Huh? - I hate those people. 36 00:01:32,305 --> 00:01:35,468 - Toupee? Huh? - No. 37 00:01:35,509 --> 00:01:38,103 - Oh, no, absolutely not. - They should kill those guys. 38 00:01:38,145 --> 00:01:39,612 Exactly. 39 00:01:39,646 --> 00:01:41,841 I'm surprised Hitler didn't round up the toupee people. 40 00:01:41,882 --> 00:01:43,782 If I'm going to be a sick megalomaniac, 41 00:01:43,817 --> 00:01:47,583 to round up people who I hated, they would be on my list. 42 00:01:47,621 --> 00:01:50,852 - I would say, "Get the toupee people." - Absolutely. 43 00:01:50,891 --> 00:01:54,190 I'd have my henchmen going around tugging at people's hair. 44 00:01:54,227 --> 00:01:55,387 If it comes off... 45 00:01:55,429 --> 00:01:56,726 "Balden," come with me. 46 00:01:56,763 --> 00:01:58,958 Ach, "Balden." 47 00:02:07,474 --> 00:02:10,307 My fault. It was my fault the whole time. 48 00:02:10,343 --> 00:02:12,573 No, no, no, it was my fault. I overreacted... 49 00:02:12,612 --> 00:02:14,079 We were all crazy. 50 00:02:14,114 --> 00:02:16,947 No, if I hadn't told Mindy Reiser that thing... 51 00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:19,110 Forget it. You know what? 52 00:02:19,152 --> 00:02:21,177 To new times, good friends. 53 00:02:21,221 --> 00:02:23,815 - Back on track. - Water under the bridge. 54 00:02:24,891 --> 00:02:28,019 Good, good. It's good to see you guys. 55 00:02:28,061 --> 00:02:30,154 Ah-hh! 56 00:02:30,197 --> 00:02:32,631 Does that bother anybody when I make a noise like that? 57 00:02:32,666 --> 00:02:34,998 Is anybody disturbed by that? And why should you be? 58 00:02:35,035 --> 00:02:37,765 What is it? So what? 59 00:02:37,804 --> 00:02:40,602 How is everything going? How are the kids? How's the house? 60 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:42,938 Jakey is driving us nuts. 61 00:02:42,976 --> 00:02:45,672 He's always wanted a dog, and we kept putting him off. 62 00:02:45,712 --> 00:02:47,942 He wants a dog, and we can't put him off anymore. 63 00:02:47,981 --> 00:02:50,313 No freaking puppy, though. 64 00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,648 I don't want the peeing, I don't want the chewing. 65 00:02:52,686 --> 00:02:54,984 I want a good, smart, trained dog. 66 00:02:55,021 --> 00:02:57,615 Jeff's got that German shepherd... 67 00:02:57,657 --> 00:03:00,148 - Oh, right. - they're looking to get rid... 68 00:03:00,193 --> 00:03:02,058 oh my God, this would be perfect for you. 69 00:03:02,095 --> 00:03:04,325 How old is the dog? 70 00:03:04,364 --> 00:03:06,264 He's, I don't know, maybe four. 71 00:03:06,299 --> 00:03:07,630 I had a German shepherd when I was a little boy. 72 00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:09,601 - Did you? - Yeah, yeah. 73 00:03:09,636 --> 00:03:11,536 - He keeps talking about him. - You can't believe this dog. 74 00:03:11,571 --> 00:03:14,836 It's a corpse-sniffing dog. They got it from the fire department. 75 00:03:14,875 --> 00:03:16,968 A what? It's a corpse-sniffing...? 76 00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:18,773 I'm telling you, this is an amazing dog. 77 00:03:18,812 --> 00:03:21,110 - What's his name? - Oscar. 78 00:03:21,147 --> 00:03:22,114 Oscar? 79 00:03:22,148 --> 00:03:23,376 Oscar. 80 00:03:23,416 --> 00:03:26,385 What happened was they separated... 81 00:03:26,419 --> 00:03:28,979 Jeff and his wife. 82 00:03:29,022 --> 00:03:31,286 She was left alone in the house 83 00:03:31,324 --> 00:03:34,521 and she was worried so she got a dog for security, and... 84 00:03:34,561 --> 00:03:37,086 - And she got a shepherd. - Right, and now... 85 00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,621 Now they reconciled and he's moved back, 86 00:03:39,666 --> 00:03:41,133 but he's allergic to the dog, 87 00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:42,862 and he's sniffing and sneezing all the time, 88 00:03:42,903 --> 00:03:48,000 And he's a wreck. But the dog is so great. 89 00:03:48,041 --> 00:03:50,407 It's like having a person there who barks. 90 00:03:50,443 --> 00:03:52,707 - He understands everything. - How's the dog with kids? 91 00:03:52,746 --> 00:03:54,873 Great, they have a little girl. 92 00:03:54,915 --> 00:03:56,780 Tough customer. 93 00:03:56,816 --> 00:03:58,477 But the dog is fabulous with her. 94 00:03:58,518 --> 00:04:00,952 Wouldn't hurt a fly. 95 00:04:00,987 --> 00:04:02,181 Sounds perfect. You know what? 96 00:04:02,222 --> 00:04:03,519 How do we do this, how do we do this? 97 00:04:03,557 --> 00:04:05,388 All right, you're interested? 98 00:04:05,425 --> 00:04:07,655 - Absolutely. - Yes, yes, very. 99 00:04:07,694 --> 00:04:10,424 That could be absolutely perfect. 100 00:04:10,463 --> 00:04:12,260 He's like an elephant sticking his head in a pond. 101 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,068 Why are you watching this? 102 00:04:16,102 --> 00:04:17,967 Ugh... this routine. 103 00:04:18,004 --> 00:04:20,905 Stop it. 104 00:04:20,941 --> 00:04:25,002 Um-um. No, I'm sorry, no. 105 00:04:25,045 --> 00:04:27,275 The cork is dry. We need to send this back. 106 00:04:27,314 --> 00:04:29,441 - Don't send that back. - Feel the cork. 107 00:04:29,482 --> 00:04:31,916 - I don't give a shit. - You don't even have to taste it. 108 00:04:31,952 --> 00:04:35,080 Tell the manager. Have him taste it... an actual Bordeaux glass. 109 00:04:35,121 --> 00:04:38,022 Can you please pour some for me? You can't send this back. 110 00:04:38,058 --> 00:04:40,026 You're an expert in wine? Go ahead, taste it. 111 00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:41,994 Larry, come on. 112 00:04:42,028 --> 00:04:45,930 - Fine. - It's fine, it's delicious. 113 00:04:45,966 --> 00:04:48,161 At $140 a bottle, I don't want "fine." 114 00:04:48,201 --> 00:04:50,863 "Larry couldn't possibly tell... 115 00:04:50,904 --> 00:04:52,769 No, Larry, Larry, come on, you can't. 116 00:04:52,806 --> 00:04:54,603 "Larry's not sophisticated enough to know..." 117 00:04:54,641 --> 00:04:56,632 It's not a matter of sophistication, 118 00:04:56,676 --> 00:04:58,735 - It's a delicate thing. - You don't have to drink it. 119 00:04:58,778 --> 00:05:02,612 You don't have to drink it. We'll order something else. 120 00:05:02,649 --> 00:05:04,879 - I'll get you a nice spritzer. - A spritzer. 121 00:05:04,918 --> 00:05:06,943 - Terrific meal. - It was great. 122 00:05:06,987 --> 00:05:08,352 Didn't I say last time we were here 123 00:05:08,388 --> 00:05:11,482 I wasn't gonna have dessert? 124 00:05:11,524 --> 00:05:13,287 So what's going on with your restaurant? 125 00:05:13,326 --> 00:05:15,760 - You haven't said a word. - Thank you for asking. 126 00:05:15,795 --> 00:05:18,593 I'm not allowed to talk about it. She doesn't like it. 127 00:05:18,632 --> 00:05:20,600 She's bored with restaurant talk. 128 00:05:20,634 --> 00:05:23,967 - I'm not allowed to talk about it. - No, you tell us. 129 00:05:24,004 --> 00:05:26,632 When I was on "Seinfeld" I wasn't allowed to talk about "Seinfeld." 130 00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:29,870 I'm not allowed to talk about anything I'm doing. 131 00:05:29,909 --> 00:05:32,503 I bore her, she bores so easily. 132 00:05:32,545 --> 00:05:34,513 We're opening next week. 133 00:05:34,547 --> 00:05:37,516 This new chef we got, he's gonna be fantastic. 134 00:05:37,550 --> 00:05:39,313 Great. Where did you find him? 135 00:05:39,352 --> 00:05:41,650 Okay, Larry only likes him because he's bald. 136 00:05:41,688 --> 00:05:45,351 - That is so... - No, that's true. 137 00:05:45,392 --> 00:05:47,326 What makes you say that, Cheryl? 138 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,828 He told me. He goes, "I found this guy, he's great. 139 00:05:49,863 --> 00:05:52,730 He's bald." Does that seem logical? 140 00:05:52,766 --> 00:05:54,199 - Don't say that. That's not true. - Is that? 141 00:05:54,234 --> 00:05:56,794 I did hire a bald man, but... 142 00:05:56,836 --> 00:05:59,100 And only because he's bald. 143 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,308 - No, no, no. - No, Larry. 144 00:06:03,343 --> 00:06:05,868 No, no, no splitting. No splitting. 145 00:06:05,912 --> 00:06:07,937 You picked up the last one. 146 00:06:07,981 --> 00:06:10,040 - Don't you have to go to the bathroom? - Huh? 147 00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:11,573 Yeah, I got to go to the bathroom, right. 148 00:06:11,618 --> 00:06:13,745 Go to the bathroom, go to the bathroom. 149 00:06:13,787 --> 00:06:16,051 Thank you, Stu. 150 00:06:16,089 --> 00:06:18,614 Anyway, thanks Stu, that's very nice of you. 151 00:06:18,658 --> 00:06:20,888 My pleasure. You're welcome. 152 00:06:20,927 --> 00:06:23,418 What about me? You gonna thank me too? 153 00:06:23,463 --> 00:06:27,194 - And thank you, Susan. - You're welcome. 154 00:06:28,635 --> 00:06:33,265 Why... why do I have to thank you? 155 00:06:33,306 --> 00:06:38,334 For dinner that my husband and I treated you to. 156 00:06:38,378 --> 00:06:40,369 Oh, I thought he treated me to it. 157 00:06:40,413 --> 00:06:42,813 Stu... 158 00:06:42,849 --> 00:06:45,579 pulled out the credit card and put it down, yes. 159 00:06:45,618 --> 00:06:48,849 Yeah. So I thanked him. 160 00:06:48,888 --> 00:06:52,551 And he's using our money to pay for it. 161 00:06:52,592 --> 00:06:54,822 So you could thank us, we're taking you out to dinner. 162 00:06:54,861 --> 00:06:57,261 Well, you can call it our money, 163 00:06:57,297 --> 00:06:58,662 but for the sake of discussion, 164 00:06:58,698 --> 00:07:01,223 he's the one who goes to work and earns the money. 165 00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:03,599 - You don't work. - All right, what about... 166 00:07:03,636 --> 00:07:07,128 Cheryl, you don't work for yourself. 167 00:07:07,173 --> 00:07:09,232 Whose money is it in your household? 168 00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:13,143 - Honey, it's our money. - No, it's not. 169 00:07:13,179 --> 00:07:15,010 - Oh, brother. - I've earned the money. 170 00:07:15,048 --> 00:07:17,209 So what do you do, pay her a salary? 171 00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:19,480 - How does she buy things? - She spends the money that I've earned. 172 00:07:19,519 --> 00:07:21,885 She didn't work, I earned the money. 173 00:07:21,921 --> 00:07:24,981 - Loving you is my job. - I earned the money. It's just a fact. 174 00:07:25,024 --> 00:07:28,187 Stu, is it our... it's our money. 175 00:07:28,228 --> 00:07:31,891 - Our money. - Right... you know, and... 176 00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:33,990 - Right? - He works, he gets the money. 177 00:07:34,033 --> 00:07:37,560 - And it's their money. - It's not "their money," it's my money. 178 00:07:37,604 --> 00:07:40,801 It's not about where it's coming from, it's what it becomes. 179 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,808 It's completely about where it's coming from. 180 00:07:42,842 --> 00:07:44,503 That's what it's about, "Where does it come from?" 181 00:07:44,544 --> 00:07:46,637 Well, I must say that I am just glad 182 00:07:46,679 --> 00:07:49,239 that in my marriage, that's not an issue. 183 00:07:49,282 --> 00:07:51,273 That Stu considers it... 184 00:07:51,317 --> 00:07:54,878 It's not an issue in our marriage either. 185 00:07:54,921 --> 00:07:56,752 It's just a fact of where the money came from. 186 00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:59,725 Having a great meal... so glad to see you guys. 187 00:07:59,759 --> 00:08:02,091 I'm just so happy to see you. 188 00:08:02,128 --> 00:08:04,460 This is nice. 189 00:08:11,037 --> 00:08:14,268 Hey, you know me, I don't like to complain. 190 00:08:14,307 --> 00:08:15,831 Oh, yeah. 191 00:08:15,875 --> 00:08:18,673 I think you know me well enough to know that by now. 192 00:08:18,711 --> 00:08:21,771 How come there's no partitions in the bathroom between the urinals? 193 00:08:21,815 --> 00:08:25,114 - Here? - Yeah. 194 00:08:25,151 --> 00:08:27,779 I don't know. I thought we were gonna have that. 195 00:08:27,821 --> 00:08:31,086 Is it important? It looks nice now. 196 00:08:31,124 --> 00:08:33,991 We want a little pee privacy, do we not? 197 00:08:34,027 --> 00:08:35,358 Yeah, privacy. I'm absolutely with you. 198 00:08:35,395 --> 00:08:37,522 You don't want someone looking down at your thing. 199 00:08:37,564 --> 00:08:39,862 This isn't a bus station. What do you think? 200 00:08:39,899 --> 00:08:40,923 This is not gonna be that kind of crowd. 201 00:08:40,967 --> 00:08:42,730 This is a high-class restaurant, Larry. 202 00:08:42,769 --> 00:08:44,361 Still people go off to the side. 203 00:08:44,404 --> 00:08:48,636 They've got the 45° angle things. 204 00:08:48,675 --> 00:08:50,370 But is it really important, Larry? 205 00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:52,901 Yes, Michael. It is important, yes. 206 00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:57,076 - So we'll get them. - I stand corrected. 207 00:08:57,116 --> 00:08:59,175 - What are they called? - Splash guards. 208 00:08:59,219 --> 00:09:01,881 We can't get it in time. We open in three days. 209 00:09:01,921 --> 00:09:04,913 We can't have the bathroom fixed in three days. 210 00:09:04,958 --> 00:09:07,552 So we'll pee at home for a while before we come. 211 00:09:07,594 --> 00:09:10,563 Hey, everybody. 212 00:09:10,597 --> 00:09:13,088 - Who's this? - It's Oscar. 213 00:09:13,132 --> 00:09:15,157 My family's dog, not my dog. 214 00:09:15,201 --> 00:09:17,533 This dog kills me, I'm so allergic to it. 215 00:09:17,570 --> 00:09:19,299 I have to hang with it today 'cause Susie's got 216 00:09:19,339 --> 00:09:22,069 some stuff to do with tiling at the new house. 217 00:09:22,108 --> 00:09:24,042 If you're allergic, why do you have the dog? 218 00:09:24,077 --> 00:09:26,136 My wife and I were separated for a while. 219 00:09:26,179 --> 00:09:28,477 While we were separated, she got this dog. 220 00:09:28,514 --> 00:09:31,540 Now I'm back and the dog ain't going anywhere. 221 00:09:31,584 --> 00:09:33,347 I want to talk to you about that. 222 00:09:33,386 --> 00:09:36,082 - Don't touch your eyes. - I'm not touching anything. 223 00:09:36,122 --> 00:09:38,488 - What's the matter? - What are you doing, Oscar? 224 00:09:38,524 --> 00:09:39,491 Oscar! 225 00:09:39,525 --> 00:09:41,755 What's wrong with it? 226 00:09:41,794 --> 00:09:44,228 - Really acting up. - Not in the kitchen. 227 00:09:44,264 --> 00:09:46,255 What are you doing, Oscar? 228 00:09:52,171 --> 00:09:54,230 What's he got? 229 00:09:54,274 --> 00:09:56,708 Did somebody drop some meat or something? 230 00:09:56,743 --> 00:09:58,711 No, that floor is spotless for the health inspection. 231 00:09:58,745 --> 00:10:02,146 Looks like he smells something. 232 00:10:02,181 --> 00:10:05,446 Isn't he a corpse-sniffing dog? 233 00:10:13,459 --> 00:10:15,120 Well, folks, 234 00:10:15,161 --> 00:10:18,927 this rescue canine is well-credentialed. 235 00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:21,229 I think there's a real strong possibility 236 00:10:21,267 --> 00:10:23,792 there's a dead body underneath that floor. 237 00:10:26,406 --> 00:10:28,203 There will have to be an investigation, 238 00:10:28,241 --> 00:10:30,641 and we'll have to tear up the floor. 239 00:10:30,677 --> 00:10:32,668 Oh, come on that's ridiculous! 240 00:10:32,712 --> 00:10:34,771 How long will that take? 241 00:10:34,814 --> 00:10:38,477 I don't know. 242 00:10:38,518 --> 00:10:40,452 Oh, this is a nightmare. 243 00:10:42,021 --> 00:10:44,956 I'm telling you, I'm gonna take my money out of this place. 244 00:10:44,991 --> 00:10:47,323 What if there's a dead body under there? 245 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,260 We're fucked. No one will ever come to the restaurant 246 00:10:49,295 --> 00:10:51,456 where they found a body. It'll be in the papers. We're fucked. 247 00:10:51,497 --> 00:10:54,762 If there's a dead body underneath there, we are fucked. 248 00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:57,361 I can't live with this dog, it's making me crazy. 249 00:10:57,403 --> 00:10:59,394 - My eyes are burning. - You look terrible. 250 00:10:59,439 --> 00:11:01,999 Right here, I have a pain so severe, 251 00:11:02,041 --> 00:11:05,704 from that freaking dog. I am highly allergic to dogs. 252 00:11:05,745 --> 00:11:08,407 You know the Braudys? 253 00:11:08,448 --> 00:11:10,814 That guy who smashed into Alanis Morissette? 254 00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:13,614 - Oh, that idiot. - Yeah, that guy. 255 00:11:13,653 --> 00:11:15,143 We had dinner with them the other night. 256 00:11:15,188 --> 00:11:17,179 They're looking for a dog for the kids. 257 00:11:17,223 --> 00:11:18,656 I mentioned Oscar. 258 00:11:18,691 --> 00:11:21,683 They would take that dog off your hands tomorrow. 259 00:11:21,728 --> 00:11:24,458 My daughter's in love with that dog. What do I do? 260 00:11:24,497 --> 00:11:26,658 You've got to sit down and talk to her. 261 00:11:26,699 --> 00:11:28,633 Tell her "Daddy can't live in this house 262 00:11:28,668 --> 00:11:30,363 because the dog makes Daddy sick." 263 00:11:30,403 --> 00:11:32,462 She'll understand, don't you think? 264 00:11:32,505 --> 00:11:34,405 Yeah, I think she would. 265 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,431 Explain it to her, what's going on. 266 00:11:36,476 --> 00:11:38,671 If she doesn't know you've got to tell her. 267 00:11:38,711 --> 00:11:40,906 - Tell her, talk to her. - Hold on. 268 00:11:43,416 --> 00:11:45,179 Oh my God, it's Oscar! 269 00:11:45,218 --> 00:11:47,186 Look at that, he came! I can't believe it. 270 00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:48,687 You really love Oscar. 271 00:11:48,721 --> 00:11:50,279 It's nice to be affectionate to something German. 272 00:11:50,323 --> 00:11:52,484 You don't get the opportunity that often, you know? 273 00:11:52,525 --> 00:11:54,516 Good boy. 274 00:11:57,797 --> 00:11:59,731 Daddy doesn't feel good. 275 00:11:59,766 --> 00:12:02,701 Sneezing, up all night. 276 00:12:02,735 --> 00:12:06,227 It hurts right here. I have a horrible, horrible pain. 277 00:12:06,272 --> 00:12:10,003 My eyes are watering and I feel horrible. 278 00:12:10,043 --> 00:12:11,943 And the reason this is all happening 279 00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:14,276 is because of your pal Oscar. 280 00:12:14,313 --> 00:12:16,907 All right? So you have to decide 281 00:12:16,949 --> 00:12:20,680 whether you want Daddy or Oscar. 282 00:12:21,687 --> 00:12:24,884 Mmm... Oscar. 283 00:12:24,924 --> 00:12:27,893 What I'm saying is, if you say Oscar, 284 00:12:27,927 --> 00:12:31,260 - Daddy won't be here. - I know. 285 00:12:31,297 --> 00:12:33,857 - You know? - Mm-hmm. 286 00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:36,630 But you're choosing Oscar. I'm your dad. 287 00:12:36,669 --> 00:12:39,763 I just love that dog. 288 00:12:40,773 --> 00:12:43,606 Mm-hmm. 289 00:12:43,643 --> 00:12:46,635 I have to go to the bathroom. 290 00:13:01,761 --> 00:13:04,924 We open in three days. This is ridiculous. 291 00:13:04,964 --> 00:13:06,591 We shouldn't have called the cops. 292 00:13:06,632 --> 00:13:08,998 We shouldn't have brought the dog here in the first place. 293 00:13:12,371 --> 00:13:15,033 What's going on? Has he got something? 294 00:13:15,074 --> 00:13:16,598 Wait a second, wait a second, hold on. 295 00:13:16,642 --> 00:13:19,167 I think he's found something. 296 00:13:19,212 --> 00:13:21,908 - What do you got there? - Holy shit. 297 00:13:25,718 --> 00:13:28,380 What does he got there? 298 00:13:32,792 --> 00:13:35,283 A bra? 299 00:13:36,295 --> 00:13:38,263 Is that it? Is there more? 300 00:13:38,297 --> 00:13:40,060 Is there a body with it? 301 00:13:40,099 --> 00:13:41,327 Nothing else down here. That's it. 302 00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:43,733 That's it? a bra? 303 00:13:43,769 --> 00:13:46,397 That's it folks. There's nothing else in there. 304 00:13:46,439 --> 00:13:49,533 Oh my God. 305 00:13:49,575 --> 00:13:52,135 He's a bra-sniffing dog. 306 00:13:52,178 --> 00:13:54,339 He's a good bra-sniffing dog. 307 00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:55,847 - Terrific. - Great. 308 00:13:55,882 --> 00:13:59,545 - This is bullshit. - All this for that? 309 00:13:59,585 --> 00:14:00,916 Mystery is solved. 310 00:14:00,953 --> 00:14:03,615 How long is it gonna take to get all this back? 311 00:14:03,656 --> 00:14:06,056 With what you got going on here, it's a mess. 312 00:14:06,092 --> 00:14:08,287 They dug up the electric, the gas, the plumbing, it's... 313 00:14:08,327 --> 00:14:11,922 - So how long? - Three weeks to a month, Larry. 314 00:14:11,964 --> 00:14:13,989 That's on the safe side. Things could arise, 315 00:14:14,033 --> 00:14:16,831 you got the city involved now... Larry, I'm sorry. 316 00:14:16,869 --> 00:14:19,565 Let me ask you this... 317 00:14:19,605 --> 00:14:22,073 can we get the splash guards in the urinal now? 318 00:14:22,108 --> 00:14:24,542 - What do you think? - I'll have time for that. 319 00:14:24,577 --> 00:14:26,977 - That's good, Larry. - We'll get the splash guards. 320 00:14:27,013 --> 00:14:29,607 Blessing in disguise. 321 00:14:30,783 --> 00:14:32,774 Larry! 322 00:14:32,818 --> 00:14:34,445 A dog! 323 00:14:34,487 --> 00:14:37,422 She chose a fucking dog over her own father. 324 00:14:37,456 --> 00:14:39,321 You sat down, you laid it out? 325 00:14:39,358 --> 00:14:41,553 I told her, "Daddy's sick. 326 00:14:41,594 --> 00:14:43,391 He can't stay in the same house with Oscar." 327 00:14:43,429 --> 00:14:45,329 She wants Oscar! She wants the dog! 328 00:14:45,364 --> 00:14:48,128 - Okay, calm down. - Where is the dog? 329 00:14:48,167 --> 00:14:50,067 They took him back to your house. 330 00:14:50,102 --> 00:14:52,798 My house? No, no, his house. 331 00:14:52,838 --> 00:14:57,434 His house. I'm at the W. Hotel. It's his house now. 332 00:14:57,476 --> 00:15:01,105 By the way, he turned up a bra today. There's no corpse. 333 00:15:01,147 --> 00:15:04,776 A bra? What the fuck's wrong with that dog? 334 00:15:04,817 --> 00:15:08,583 - He's a bra-sniffing dog. - A bra-sniffing dog? What the fuck? 335 00:15:08,621 --> 00:15:10,316 He's closing us down for three weeks now. 336 00:15:10,356 --> 00:15:12,586 - Because of a bra? - Yeah, they dug up the whole place. 337 00:15:12,625 --> 00:15:16,425 - That fucking dog! - Hey, take it easy. 338 00:15:18,664 --> 00:15:20,393 I got to call that bald chef and tell him. 339 00:15:20,433 --> 00:15:22,492 - He's gonna be disappointed. - You know what? 340 00:15:22,535 --> 00:15:24,503 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 341 00:15:24,537 --> 00:15:27,062 - Where are you gonna be? - W. Hotel. 342 00:15:27,106 --> 00:15:29,540 You're gonna hear from me soon. 343 00:15:29,575 --> 00:15:31,270 - You're gonna hear from me. - Where are you going? 344 00:15:31,310 --> 00:15:33,369 I got something to take care of. 345 00:15:35,581 --> 00:15:37,572 Fuck! 346 00:15:45,024 --> 00:15:47,652 - Hi, Larry. - Hi, Sammy. 347 00:15:47,693 --> 00:15:50,753 My mommy's next door. She'll be home soon. 348 00:15:50,796 --> 00:15:52,525 And my daddy's at a hotel. 349 00:15:52,565 --> 00:15:54,533 - Can I come in? - Mm-hmm. 350 00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:57,001 - What are you drinking? - Grape juice. Want some? 351 00:15:57,036 --> 00:15:59,368 Oh, positively. 352 00:16:00,973 --> 00:16:03,999 Anyway, I actually came 353 00:16:04,043 --> 00:16:06,568 to talk to you. 354 00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:09,707 Oh. 355 00:16:16,122 --> 00:16:18,750 You know what? I think I'm gonna have this instead. 356 00:16:18,791 --> 00:16:20,315 Okay. 357 00:16:20,359 --> 00:16:22,953 I just want to try this wine. 358 00:16:24,697 --> 00:16:28,258 Believe me, I know as much about this as the next guy. 359 00:16:28,301 --> 00:16:30,565 Come on. 360 00:16:38,911 --> 00:16:42,278 No. Too fruity. 361 00:16:42,315 --> 00:16:44,715 And a tad on the oaky side. 362 00:16:44,750 --> 00:16:46,945 What does "oaky" mean? 363 00:16:46,986 --> 00:16:50,820 It tastes a little like a tree. 364 00:16:55,294 --> 00:16:58,092 Let's talk about your dad, okay? 365 00:16:58,130 --> 00:17:00,394 Isn't there another animal we could interest you in? 366 00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:03,266 Perhaps a little pussycat? 367 00:17:03,302 --> 00:17:05,099 I don't like cats. 368 00:17:05,137 --> 00:17:08,004 How about a rabbit? 369 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,803 - Um-mm. - Pony? 370 00:17:09,842 --> 00:17:12,276 I never heard of a little girl that didn't want a pony. 371 00:17:12,311 --> 00:17:14,506 - Turtle? - Turtles scare me. 372 00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:16,515 Hamster? 373 00:17:16,549 --> 00:17:19,211 Put him in a cage and you can torture him a little bit. 374 00:17:19,251 --> 00:17:21,242 - They're boring. - But you torture them. 375 00:17:21,287 --> 00:17:22,549 It's not boring if you torture them. 376 00:17:22,588 --> 00:17:26,149 I like Oscar better. 377 00:17:26,192 --> 00:17:28,717 What is that, that dog whistle? 378 00:17:28,761 --> 00:17:30,558 Is that Oscar's whistle? 379 00:17:30,596 --> 00:17:32,257 Uh-huh. 380 00:17:32,298 --> 00:17:34,459 I wouldn't blow it, he's asleep. 381 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,695 Oh. Look at this. 382 00:17:36,736 --> 00:17:38,033 I saw your daddy use it the other day. 383 00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:40,470 He came running out of the restaurant. 384 00:17:40,506 --> 00:17:44,067 I don't understand how this thing works. 385 00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:46,476 Where's the whistle part? 386 00:17:50,983 --> 00:17:53,884 Anyway, that's my spiel. 387 00:17:53,919 --> 00:17:56,854 So... 388 00:17:56,889 --> 00:17:59,983 come on, Sammy. What do you say? 389 00:18:00,993 --> 00:18:03,860 I don't want Oscar. 390 00:18:03,896 --> 00:18:06,364 I want Daddy. 391 00:18:11,837 --> 00:18:14,806 Go home! It's all taken care of. 392 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:18,276 That's right. We had a little chat. 393 00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:20,801 I'm taking him to the Braudys. 394 00:18:20,846 --> 00:18:23,781 He's sitting right next to me. 395 00:18:23,816 --> 00:18:26,250 You're more than welcome. 396 00:18:26,285 --> 00:18:29,277 All right, my friend. Goodbye. 397 00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:33,590 Well, Oskie-boy. Huh? 398 00:18:33,626 --> 00:18:35,594 What do you say, Oskie-boy? 399 00:18:35,628 --> 00:18:37,926 We're going to the Braudys, you excited? 400 00:18:37,963 --> 00:18:40,488 Are you excited about the Braudys? Come here, give me a kiss. 401 00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:43,969 Give Uncle Larry a kissy, Oscar boy. 402 00:18:44,003 --> 00:18:45,732 Ooh. 403 00:18:46,939 --> 00:18:49,908 All right, look at your new home. 404 00:18:51,177 --> 00:18:54,010 You're such a good boy. 405 00:18:54,046 --> 00:18:56,514 Yeah, you're such a good boy! 406 00:18:57,883 --> 00:18:59,783 - Hello. - Hi. 407 00:18:59,819 --> 00:19:02,879 Well, here's Oscar. 408 00:19:04,457 --> 00:19:07,187 This is the corpse-sniffing dog I was telling you about. 409 00:19:07,226 --> 00:19:09,717 - Right. I remember dinner. - Oscar. 410 00:19:09,762 --> 00:19:11,627 Yeah, all yours. 411 00:19:14,066 --> 00:19:16,261 Do you have something to say to me, Larry? 412 00:19:16,302 --> 00:19:18,736 Yeah, congratulations. 413 00:19:18,771 --> 00:19:22,502 No, I mean, do you have anything else to say to me from dinner? 414 00:19:24,743 --> 00:19:26,711 I enjoyed the chicken very much. 415 00:19:26,745 --> 00:19:28,872 I was surprised at how good it was, actually. 416 00:19:28,914 --> 00:19:31,508 Very funny, that's very funny. 417 00:19:31,550 --> 00:19:34,644 Look, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, 418 00:19:34,687 --> 00:19:36,848 but you know how I feel about what happened at dinner. 419 00:19:36,889 --> 00:19:39,119 Larry, I'm waiting, I'm just waiting. 420 00:19:39,158 --> 00:19:42,491 I'm still waiting. 421 00:19:42,528 --> 00:19:44,496 Well... 422 00:19:44,530 --> 00:19:46,623 I guess you'll have to continue to wait 423 00:19:46,665 --> 00:19:50,157 if it's a thank you that you're waiting for. 424 00:19:50,202 --> 00:19:54,798 Because a thank you is just a little more than you can handle. 425 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,206 No, it's not more than I can handle. 426 00:19:57,243 --> 00:19:58,870 If you had paid for the meal, 427 00:19:58,911 --> 00:20:00,936 I would've thanked you as I told you. 428 00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:03,471 Okay. Extraordinary. 429 00:20:03,516 --> 00:20:05,541 It's extraordinary. It's a shame. 430 00:20:05,584 --> 00:20:08,144 So am I to assume that you do not want the dog? 431 00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:09,779 Is this what you're saying to me? 432 00:20:09,822 --> 00:20:12,484 If you want to thank me for dinner, I will look at your dog. 433 00:20:12,525 --> 00:20:15,221 I thank people when they deserve to be thanked. 434 00:20:15,261 --> 00:20:17,627 In this particular instance, you do not deserve to be thanked. 435 00:20:17,663 --> 00:20:19,790 Because a man and a woman are married... 436 00:20:19,832 --> 00:20:22,198 Because you haven't worked a day since you got out of college. 437 00:20:22,234 --> 00:20:25,032 - You've never held a job... - Hey, look it's a dog. 438 00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:28,039 Doggie! Oh, he's so cute. 439 00:20:28,073 --> 00:20:29,472 Leave the doggie alone. He's not our dog. 440 00:20:29,508 --> 00:20:31,874 - His name's Oscar. - That's Larry's dog. 441 00:20:31,911 --> 00:20:34,471 I wanted to give this dog to you, but your mommy doesn't want it. 442 00:20:34,513 --> 00:20:36,071 Don't be silly, you weren't gonna give him to me. 443 00:20:36,115 --> 00:20:39,516 - It's your dog, Larry. - You promised! 444 00:20:39,552 --> 00:20:41,577 At some point we're gonna get a dog. 445 00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:43,087 Daddy and I were talking... 446 00:20:43,122 --> 00:20:45,090 - Oh, he's such a good dog. ...but not this dog. 447 00:20:45,124 --> 00:20:47,319 We'll look for a dog someplace else. 448 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,224 Why look for one when there's one right here? 449 00:20:49,261 --> 00:20:52,458 Yeah. Please...? 450 00:20:52,498 --> 00:20:54,363 - Please? - Oscar? 451 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,493 Okay, okay, all right. 452 00:20:56,535 --> 00:20:59,629 - Here you go, boys. - Cool. 453 00:20:59,672 --> 00:21:01,367 Hey, hey what do you say? 454 00:21:01,407 --> 00:21:03,875 - Thank you! - You're welcome. 455 00:21:04,877 --> 00:21:06,606 He sleeps on my bed. 456 00:21:06,645 --> 00:21:08,909 Enjoy. 457 00:21:20,192 --> 00:21:23,491 Oh, shit. 458 00:21:32,504 --> 00:21:35,496 You sick fuck, Larry David! 459 00:21:35,541 --> 00:21:37,736 What the fuck do you think you're doing 460 00:21:37,776 --> 00:21:39,243 getting my kid drunk?! 461 00:21:39,278 --> 00:21:41,337 Drunk? What are you talking about? 462 00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:43,974 She's slurring her words, she's bumping into things, 463 00:21:44,016 --> 00:21:46,348 she stinks like a fuckin' wino! 464 00:21:48,487 --> 00:21:52,287 Oh, I poured some of your... I had poured some wine. 465 00:21:52,324 --> 00:21:55,418 Oh, she must have accidentally... 466 00:21:55,461 --> 00:21:58,294 a seven-year-old kid drank some wine? 467 00:21:58,330 --> 00:21:59,888 It was... the glasses got... 468 00:21:59,932 --> 00:22:02,833 Do I look like a fucking idiot, that I'm gonna believe you? 469 00:22:02,868 --> 00:22:05,530 You got her drunk and stole the fucking dog, all right?! 470 00:22:05,571 --> 00:22:08,165 No, she told me I could have the dog. 471 00:22:08,207 --> 00:22:10,698 She told you you could take the dog after you got her 472 00:22:10,743 --> 00:22:14,372 all fucked up on alcohol. All liquored up. 473 00:22:14,413 --> 00:22:16,176 I thought she had a speech impediment. 474 00:22:16,215 --> 00:22:18,615 You've known the kid since she was born, 475 00:22:18,651 --> 00:22:22,417 and she suddenly develops a speech impediment? 476 00:22:22,454 --> 00:22:24,081 That's what was so puzzling to me. 477 00:22:24,123 --> 00:22:26,148 Oh, listen, you four-eyed fuck, you stole the dog! 478 00:22:26,191 --> 00:22:29,957 She's at home hysterical that her dog is gone! 479 00:22:29,995 --> 00:22:31,792 I don't know what you did to him. 480 00:22:31,830 --> 00:22:34,355 Maybe you brought him for some animal testing or something, 481 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,062 you sicko fucko asshole. 482 00:22:38,904 --> 00:22:41,031 Get me the fucking dog! 483 00:22:56,021 --> 00:22:58,182 First of all... 484 00:22:58,223 --> 00:23:02,216 I just want to thank you for dinner the other night. 485 00:23:06,165 --> 00:23:08,463 I don't know what got into me. 486 00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:11,401 I was so wrong about that. 487 00:23:11,437 --> 00:23:14,668 You're married, you're a couple. 488 00:23:14,707 --> 00:23:17,699 of course you get thanked. It's a 50/50 thing. 489 00:23:17,743 --> 00:23:20,075 So what if he works and you don't? 490 00:23:20,112 --> 00:23:22,376 That has nothing to do with it. 491 00:23:22,414 --> 00:23:24,382 You're a housewife, you raise the kids. 492 00:23:24,416 --> 00:23:26,907 You've got kids, that's a full time job. 493 00:23:26,952 --> 00:23:31,514 You deserve a thank you. And I was dead wrong. 494 00:23:31,557 --> 00:23:32,819 And I'm sorry. 495 00:23:32,858 --> 00:23:36,385 Thank you. 496 00:23:36,428 --> 00:23:39,864 I... that's great. 497 00:23:39,898 --> 00:23:42,765 That wasn't easy to do and I really do appreciate it. 498 00:23:42,801 --> 00:23:46,737 You know what? Once I realized the situation 499 00:23:46,772 --> 00:23:49,400 and how wrong I was, it was easy to do. 500 00:23:49,441 --> 00:23:52,274 I'm very... I am impressed. 501 00:23:52,311 --> 00:23:54,279 And listen... 502 00:23:54,313 --> 00:23:56,975 when you're wrong, you're wrong, you know? 503 00:23:57,015 --> 00:23:59,813 I didn't expect it. I just didn't, but thank you. 504 00:23:59,852 --> 00:24:01,752 Good, good. Whew! 505 00:24:04,289 --> 00:24:05,984 How's the dog working out? 506 00:24:06,024 --> 00:24:08,754 The dog is actually great. 507 00:24:08,794 --> 00:24:11,228 - Really? - Yeah, the kids are loving him. 508 00:24:11,263 --> 00:24:12,958 They're loving him, he's sweet as can be. 509 00:24:12,998 --> 00:24:14,966 Well-trained just like you said. He's terrific. 510 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,490 I'll tell you why I'm asking, 511 00:24:16,535 --> 00:24:19,299 because something's come up... 512 00:24:19,338 --> 00:24:21,465 and ahem... 513 00:24:22,975 --> 00:24:27,105 the owner of the dog actually wants the dog back. 514 00:24:27,146 --> 00:24:30,206 I just left her, 515 00:24:30,249 --> 00:24:33,377 and her kid's pretty broken up about it. 516 00:24:33,418 --> 00:24:36,251 What do you mean, what do you mean? 517 00:24:36,288 --> 00:24:38,984 Well, it's a long story, 518 00:24:39,024 --> 00:24:41,993 but when her daughter told me I could have the dog, 519 00:24:42,027 --> 00:24:46,123 she was quite drunk at the time, unbeknownst to me. 520 00:24:46,165 --> 00:24:49,532 - Drunk? How old is this girl? - Seven. Anyway... 521 00:24:49,568 --> 00:24:51,798 when she said I could have the dog 522 00:24:51,837 --> 00:24:53,532 she wasn't in her... didn't have all of her senses. 523 00:24:53,572 --> 00:24:56,564 All right, okay, okay. So now I understand. 524 00:24:56,608 --> 00:24:59,168 So that's why you're here. 525 00:24:59,211 --> 00:25:04,080 - No, I came to thank you for dinner. - Oh my God, I just knew it. 526 00:25:04,116 --> 00:25:06,516 And as long as I'm here, I'll take the dog. 527 00:25:06,552 --> 00:25:09,043 As long as you happen to be here, you'll take the dog back? 528 00:25:09,087 --> 00:25:12,079 - What are you, sick? - I'm only asking. 529 00:25:12,124 --> 00:25:14,092 I really need it. I mean, she wants the dog back. 530 00:25:14,126 --> 00:25:16,094 It's her dog, it is her dog. 531 00:25:16,128 --> 00:25:19,120 It's not her dog anymore, Larry, because you brought it here. 532 00:25:19,164 --> 00:25:20,791 You've had it for a half hour so you think it's your dog? 533 00:25:20,833 --> 00:25:22,198 You know what? It's not going to happen. 534 00:25:22,234 --> 00:25:23,963 Oskie! 535 00:25:24,002 --> 00:25:26,527 Just get... leave, leave right now. 536 00:25:26,572 --> 00:25:29,473 - Leave or I am calling the police. - I really need the dog. 537 00:25:29,508 --> 00:25:31,271 - I'm sorry. - You're not giving me the dog? 538 00:25:31,310 --> 00:25:33,938 No, I am not. I'm not giving you my dog. 539 00:25:33,979 --> 00:25:35,776 You're really gonna disappoint a little girl. 540 00:25:35,814 --> 00:25:38,510 Well, Larry, go back and tell her to have another drink. 541 00:25:38,550 --> 00:25:40,780 Because she's not getting her dog back, okay? 542 00:25:40,819 --> 00:25:43,344 I take back my thank you, by the way. 543 00:25:43,388 --> 00:25:45,015 The one that you never actually gave me anyway. 544 00:25:45,057 --> 00:25:47,617 Okay, bye, Larry. Bye bye, now. 545 00:25:47,659 --> 00:25:49,991 Bye bye, now! You can leave now. 546 00:25:50,028 --> 00:25:53,122 You can do it right now because I will be calling the police. 547 00:25:53,165 --> 00:25:57,226 Go, bye bye. I have to go walk my dog. 548 00:25:57,269 --> 00:26:00,500 Then I'm gonna have him do a little fetching for me. 549 00:26:00,539 --> 00:26:03,531 We might hop into the pool. Bye, Larry. 550 00:26:03,575 --> 00:26:05,736 Bye... no, keep going. 551 00:26:05,777 --> 00:26:08,268 Keep going, leave! 552 00:26:08,313 --> 00:26:11,111 - Oscar, Oscar! - Good boy! Good boy! 553 00:26:11,149 --> 00:26:13,344 Oscar! You...! Oscar! 554 00:26:13,385 --> 00:26:15,012 Oscar, you come back right...! 555 00:26:15,053 --> 00:26:17,988 Larry, you piece of shit! 556 00:26:18,023 --> 00:26:21,424 Thank you, thank you very much! 557 00:26:45,350 --> 00:26:47,318 What's going on? 558 00:26:51,023 --> 00:26:53,184 Why'd you bring the dog back? 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net