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Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything

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and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.

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It's Arrested Development...

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Michael was heading to work when he saw something he had never seen before lunch,

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his twin sister Lindsay.

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You're up?

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Yeah, I work for our attorney now.

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Bob Loblaw, of course.

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What is he thinking?

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I mean, how's it going?

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Lousy.

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I only took this nanny job so he'd give me a free divorce, and then marry me,

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so I'd never have to work again.

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But all he seems to care about is that daughter of his.

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I got my horse to canter today-- first time.

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I've always wanted to make love on a horse.

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And tomorrow, we're going to work without a lunge-line.

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That's so funny, because I can put my leg behind my head.

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I mean, come on, I'm the nanny...

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Of course. Who wouldn't want to snog the nanny?

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Snog? Is that another one of your new British-isms?

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It was.

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Michael had recently fallen bum-over-noggin for a beautiful Englishwoman called Rita.

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Did I say "snog" again? Oh, bloody hell.

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Listen, you want to win over Bob, you got to win over the kid, and here's what you do.

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You find something that you're good at, and you share it with her.

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And while you're at it, share it with us, too.

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And try to not to act so desperate.

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Oh, my God! Did I miss a call?

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This is Rita. Just wanted to say "hi."

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I'm on my way to the train station. Bye-bye.

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She's leaving. I've got to get over there!

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Michael raced to the station...

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God, is that how I look?

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...where Rita was being given her ticket.

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...and your instructions.

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Call me if you get in over your head.

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Hey, hi, there, Rita. Hey... Michael.

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Hi. Where are you going and how long you going for?

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You're right. Do not answer that.

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You know, I'm not getting clingy.

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Why are you breathing like that?

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Oh, I wasn't hurrying to come stop you. I was out on for my daily, uh...

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Do you run at all?

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Oh, yes.

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I was in the Olympics once.

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I won a silver medal.

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You're that Rita Leeds? Oh, my goodness.

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And the silver medal. Yes, and you came in second.

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Now I'm very embarrassed to be out of breath in front of you.

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But you take my breath away.

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Oh, Michael.

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You're such ( bleep ).

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Michael was stunned.

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He assumed Rita was using the word ( bleep ) in the American sense,

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meaning weak or cowardly.

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In fact, Rita meant it in the British sense,

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meaning sweet or gentle, as in "pussycat."

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The Jerries aren't so bad.

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They're just being led by a rotten apple.

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Oh, Reggie.

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Fighting for your country-- you're such a pussy.

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When I miss your lips, I'll put a ( bleep ) in my mouth and think of you.

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That also had a different meaning over there.

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Michael returned home, hoping to take solace

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- in his son's company.
- Hey, just the guy I was looking for.

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Thinking you and I should maybe go play a little catch, you know?

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Maybe go for a run. Do some guy stuff.

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But we're not good at that stuff.

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Yes, I am.

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We... both are.

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Michael and his son had never been a very successful athletic team.

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In fact, the only thing George Michael really liked

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was hanging motionless from the monkey bars.

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Which the President's Council on Fitness ranks as

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"slightly easier than the slide."

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Anyway, I was just thinking that maybe we should

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emphasize athletics a little bit more in this family.

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I'm gonna start us off with a protein drink, okay?

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Still doing that, huh?

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Well, I do think we should go for a run, huh? Some real guy stuff.

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I'm supposed to go fabric shopping with Ann today.

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I think we can go butcher.

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Uh, uh, no. We're making a gown. She's gonna be in a beauty pageant.

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Yeah, who's Ann?

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My-My girlfriend. She's...

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You've met her so many times-- met her and met her...

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No. I know who Annabelle is.

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Who's the Ann that's in the beauty pageant?

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That's her. Her name isn't Annabelle, that's Ann.

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No, I know her name's not Annabelle.

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That's how I remember her name, 'cause her body's kind of shaped like a...

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{111}{000}She's the belle of the ball.

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What is she doing in the beauty pageant?

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She's... she running the lights or something?

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She's in it. She's a contestant.

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It's sort of an inner beauty pageant.

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Ah!

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There it is.

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Is it like a Christian thing?

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Well, it's half. It's at the State Fair, which this year is gonna be a Church and State Fair.

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It seems the state had run out of money and was going to cancel the fair.

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Until it was resurrected by this man,

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who agreed to cover the fair's costs if it included a church presence.

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I got some news for you.

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There's no such thing as an inner beauty pageant.

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They're just gonna pick the chick with the best T and A.

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As a child, Maeby had been entered into a number of progressive pageants

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that claimed to celebrate beauty in all its forms.

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But the winners still tended to have it "going on" in the conventional sense.

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Remember how badly you used to want to win?

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No, I remember how badly you used to want me to win.

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Yeah, we should have.

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I don't know where that hair of yours came from.

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Shameless Plugs, on Placentia.

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Looks pretty good, huh?

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And they're not licensed, which means big savings.

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That's been happening a lot lately.

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You know what? This is the perfect thing to do.

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No, Mom, I'm not gonna do it.

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Oh, no, no, not you. Bob's daughter, Hope.

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If I can get Hope this crown,

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maybe her father might just want to crown me,

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if you know what I mean.

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I'm guessing "have sex", but that's meeting you more than halfway.

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Tobias.

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Want to clean up that... mirror?

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And the vase?

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Perhaps if I can coach a certain young lady to victory in this pageant

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I can gain back the respect of my wife.

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I'll show them a little T and A.

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You can't make me do it, Dad.

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Tobias and Ann.

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My Ann?

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No, I don't think we need any help.

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Oh, George Michael, she's a girl.

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I need to teach her how to be a woman.

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Within her lies a queen.

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Let me out that queen.

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Yeah, I think you just did.

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Michael.

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Gob?

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Oh, let me get that for you.

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Um, so...

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A young neighborhood tough by the name of Steve Holt's gonna be here any minute.

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Your son.

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According to him.

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And a DNA test.

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I heard the jury's still out on science.

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Anyway, he wants to go to the fair, but I don't want to hurt his feelings.

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So, I need you to do it.

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Just tell him that I'm out of town on one of my trips.

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I'm not gonna lie to your son.

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Come on. I lie to yours all the time.

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Michael, I'm not ready to be a dad.

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Plus, I'm gonna be very busy this week being a judge for the pageant.

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Gob had been a pageant judge for years.

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You can't believe what it does for your sex life.

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I don't want to hear it.

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I don't want to say it.

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First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn't date magicians.

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Second place is someone weird usually, like a Chinese girl or a geologist.

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But third place, although a little bit plain, has super low self-esteem.

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So I step in and, uh, lay her crown upon my sweet head.

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Have I missed this euphemism?

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- Steve Holt!
- I should go.

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He's hiding from me, isn't he?

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You know, uh, you got to stop saying your name all the time.

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It's just, they have this father-son triathlon and...

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I just wanted him to do it with me.

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Stupid, huh?

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Oh, that's a pretty tough race.

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Only for a wimp, a wuss, a ( bleep ).

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And Steve didn't mean pussycat.

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Uh, Steve... how'd you like to do that triathlon with me?

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- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

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Uncle Mike!

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Steve Holt!

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Both men felt good about themselves.

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- Uncle Mike!
- Steve Holt!

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But Gob didn't share their enthusiasm.

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So this is how Michael gets rid of my son?

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By stealing him?

184
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Well, I'll just have to steal something of his.

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Like, say, his bicycle.

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As a... placeholder.

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Michael was trying to prove his manliness with Steve Holt.

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Rita. Hey, it's Michael.

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Just want to let you know that I'm running the triathlon at the fair, and if you're back in t...

190
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Oh, I can't believe I chose this moment to call you.

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Meanwhile, at the Church and State Fair,

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Maeby was trying to enroll in the pageant.

193
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Sort of.

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Your situation poses a problem.

195
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Let me talk to our chairman.

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Hey, what are you doing, Maeby?

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It's Surely.

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I'm just here to prove that all these pageants care about is looks.

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Just watch, Surely's inner beauty will get trumped by her outer icky.

200
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What happened to your nose?

201
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It's part of the disguise.

202
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Isn't it cool?

203
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The same one Nicole Kidman wore in The Hours.

204
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It had been purchased for her at a charity auction she'd attended as a studio executive,

205
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$10,000.

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by Jamie Kennedy.

207
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Oh, you're such a dear.

208
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But I'm not putting you in my remake of A Thoroughly Polite Dustup.

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00:08:45,255 --> 00:08:51,300
Miss Woolfbeak, although it costs quite a bit to put in a ramp for you, we got approval.

210
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You're in.

211
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As Maeby found herself stuck in a beauty pageant,

212
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Lucille was meeting with attorney Bob Loblaw

213
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about getting her son out of the Army.

214
00:09:01,322 --> 00:09:03,366
My God, he's already lost a hand.

215
00:09:03,438 --> 00:09:06,867
If he loses a leg, how will we ever get him out of the apartment?

216
00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:09,944
Well, the Army does have a one-in-one-out program,

217
00:09:10,003 --> 00:09:14,026
where the inductee is relieved of duty once he enlists someone to take his place.

218
00:09:14,117 --> 00:09:16,736
So I'm supposed to find some poor, innocent soul and hook him?

219
00:09:16,803 --> 00:09:19,039
Well, that's not going to help sign anyone.

220
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Where's your hand?

221
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,289
Oh, it got stuck in the prize hole again.

222
00:09:22,372 --> 00:09:25,876
I told you not to play that stupid game anymore.

223
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Ah!

224
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There goes number three.

225
00:09:29,437 --> 00:09:30,724
I wasn't playing it.

226
00:09:30,733 --> 00:09:32,401
I was just trying to get my other one back.

227
00:09:32,671 --> 00:09:35,705
Hi, sorry, sorry, totally forgot about this meeting.

228
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What's going on?

229
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Your father's gotten a lot of bad press because of the escape attempts.

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Volunteer for something.

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I'll do anything to get out of this ( bleep ) apartment.

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You'll do anything to get out of ( bleep ) in this apartment.

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Ah, you're drunk.

234
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,877
Yeah, Mom, can you just... And Dad...

235
00:09:50,972 --> 00:09:52,773
You know, why do we even need the surrogate?

236
00:09:52,805 --> 00:09:54,681
- You know, Dad's in the apartment.
- Don't come in here.

237
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- Don't come in here.
- Don't come in here.

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- I said not to come in.
- Would you get out here, please?

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- I'm watching the game.
- I said not to come in.

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I did not spending money on a surrogate so you can just...

241
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I'm watching the game.

242
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I lost him.

243
00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:07,923
You've got your hands full trying to make this guy look good.

244
00:10:08,009 --> 00:10:10,988
There's a "Startled Straight" program at the fair,

245
00:10:11,079 --> 00:10:13,463
which involves you speaking with at-risk male youth

246
00:10:13,555 --> 00:10:15,867
to scare them away from criminal behavior.

247
00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:17,422
Okay, I can do that.

248
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,058
Uh, I'm gonna need some big blown up photos of your mother.

249
00:10:20,151 --> 00:10:22,305
They're talking about your time in prison, Dad.

250
00:10:22,411 --> 00:10:24,088
Oh, okay.

251
00:10:24,196 --> 00:10:27,714
Why not? I mean, uh, if I don't win this thing, I'm gonna be back there anyway.

252
00:10:27,817 --> 00:10:30,063
"At Risk Male Youth."

253
00:10:30,158 --> 00:10:31,256
That spells "Army."

254
00:10:31,352 --> 00:10:36,363
And that's when Buster discovered a recruiting pool the government had been fishing for years.

255
00:10:36,451 --> 00:10:37,917
I may head down there, too.

256
00:10:38,094 --> 00:10:39,831
I don't know, Dad, Startled Straight?

257
00:10:39,918 --> 00:10:41,088
I'm not sure you're the guy for that,

258
00:10:41,169 --> 00:10:44,688
but I'll look into it while I'm down at the fair signing up for a triathlon.

259
00:10:44,751 --> 00:10:47,275
Triathlon? Do you know how hard a triathlon is?

260
00:10:47,358 --> 00:10:50,401
People lose control of every bodily function.

261
00:10:50,486 --> 00:10:52,038
Didn't you ever see that video?

262
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,512
It's like your mother on New Year's Eve.

263
00:10:55,593 --> 00:10:58,353
Actually, Lucille went down faster.

264
00:10:59,874 --> 00:11:01,556
You're not even in shape!

265
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,058
You're gonna fall apart in front of everybody.

266
00:11:04,143 --> 00:11:05,505
You're kind of scaring me, Dad.

267
00:11:05,592 --> 00:11:06,354
You see?

268
00:11:06,455 --> 00:11:08,669
Perfect for this Startled Straight thing.

269
00:11:09,943 --> 00:11:13,705
Tobias was getting Ann ready for the talent portion of the pageant.

270
00:11:13,788 --> 00:11:17,230
I think we need something with a little more spectacle in the act.

271
00:11:17,304 --> 00:11:20,917
Something that will make you look small and pretty in comparison.

272
00:11:21,285 --> 00:11:22,377
A camel.

273
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,331
You know, she has a really lovely singing voice.

274
00:11:24,423 --> 00:11:26,124
I'll sing to the camel.

275
00:11:26,206 --> 00:11:29,219
Yes, we can Google some disco songs with the word "hump" in them.

276
00:11:29,294 --> 00:11:29,969
Cute.

277
00:11:30,051 --> 00:11:31,636
No, that sounds a bit racy.

278
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:32,323
Okay.

279
00:11:32,410 --> 00:11:34,938
He may be afraid of sex, but you're not going to win without it.

280
00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:36,253
No, I'm not afraid of sex...

281
00:11:36,332 --> 00:11:38,615
Oh, good. Have sex with this girl right now.

282
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,169
Do it, go.

283
00:11:40,693 --> 00:11:43,241
Get in there. Have some sex with her right now.

284
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:44,977
I didn't think so.

285
00:11:45,195 --> 00:11:50,267
Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy.

286
00:11:50,306 --> 00:11:51,976
I know how I'd answer.

287
00:11:52,375 --> 00:11:55,010
Give us some room, George Michael, I can't breathe.

288
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,609
Okay, now you're upsetting the talent. Out!

289
00:12:03,436 --> 00:12:07,048
Michael, meanwhile, had begun training for the triathlon

290
00:12:07,128 --> 00:12:09,820
to keep from humiliating himself in front of Rita.

291
00:12:09,893 --> 00:12:12,722
Don't ask "can I?" Ask "I can!"

292
00:12:12,849 --> 00:12:14,767
You can control your bladder when you're dead.

293
00:12:14,854 --> 00:12:16,412
No blood, no oil!

294
00:12:16,494 --> 00:12:18,397
There's no "I" in "win."

295
00:12:27,638 --> 00:12:30,618
Michael returned confident in his manliness,

296
00:12:30,703 --> 00:12:34,073
when he ran into his son, who was questioning his own.

297
00:12:34,162 --> 00:12:36,046
Hey, how is that pageant going?

298
00:12:36,203 --> 00:12:39,429
Well... turns out Ann doesn't want me around during it.

299
00:12:39,507 --> 00:12:40,052
Really?

300
00:12:40,128 --> 00:12:43,124
Hey, now you and me can go to that fair together tomorrow, after all.

301
00:12:43,207 --> 00:12:43,860
Yeah?

302
00:12:43,948 --> 00:12:45,482
Yeah, do some man stuff.

303
00:12:45,570 --> 00:12:49,443
Hey, actually, I have already signed up for the father-son triathlon.

304
00:12:49,538 --> 00:12:51,810
Oh, okay, great, yeah, I did want to do that with you.

305
00:12:51,903 --> 00:12:55,043
I mean, I've already promised Steve Holt.

306
00:12:55,129 --> 00:12:57,137
I thought he was older, and... more manly.

307
00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:58,665
You don't think I'm manly?

308
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,299
No, no, it's just, uh...

309
00:13:01,399 --> 00:13:04,028
Darn that Annabelle, she ruins everything!

310
00:13:04,685 --> 00:13:07,459
But the next morning, Michael awoke to discover

311
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:11,071
every muscle in his body was exacting revenge.

312
00:13:11,812 --> 00:13:12,596
Oil.

313
00:13:12,752 --> 00:13:14,913
And so was his brother, Gob.

314
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:21,388
Hey, does anyone know why my handlebars are in my bed?!

315
00:13:23,204 --> 00:13:26,690
The Church and State Fair was in fall swing.

316
00:13:33,586 --> 00:13:36,956
And Lindsay watched with pride as Hope Loblaw

317
00:13:37,069 --> 00:13:40,556
did an original number that Lindsay herself had written.

318
00:13:40,637 --> 00:13:43,377
All state on you.

319
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:48,839
And now, please welcome Annabelle Veal,

320
00:13:48,925 --> 00:13:52,274
performing "We Three Kings" with a camel tow.

321
00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:58,666
We three kings...

322
00:13:58,766 --> 00:14:02,414
Michael arrived at the fair, sore from over-training.

323
00:14:02,523 --> 00:14:04,688
Can't really go that high. I'm in a lot of pain, here.

324
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:08,382
Yeah, you know, I figured you'd be that way, so, uh-- Coach gave me these.

325
00:14:08,483 --> 00:14:10,472
- They're, uh, pills filled with oxygen.
- Yeah?

326
00:14:10,503 --> 00:14:12,011
They keep you from being incontinent.

327
00:14:12,104 --> 00:14:13,733
Have one, they're called Oxy-Incontinent.

328
00:14:13,832 --> 00:14:16,231
Steve didn't have that quite right.

329
00:14:16,352 --> 00:14:20,647
But Michael thought Rita might be coming, and he was desperate to impress her.

330
00:14:20,996 --> 00:14:24,168
Meanwhile, Maeby was trying to get knocked out of the pageant.

331
00:14:24,253 --> 00:14:26,311
Pope Impersonator, Church.

332
00:14:26,409 --> 00:14:28,740
How has God influenced your life?

333
00:14:28,852 --> 00:14:32,037
About just as much as Big Bird and the Keebler elves.

334
00:14:32,255 --> 00:14:36,068
Well, my faith would've been shaken if He had taken my legs, too.

335
00:14:37,999 --> 00:14:40,072
Gob Bluth. State.

336
00:14:40,361 --> 00:14:42,760
I was betrayed by my brother, Michael!

337
00:14:43,761 --> 00:14:45,966
Who's your favorite family member, and why?

338
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:48,687
Definitely not my shallow, materialistic mother,

339
00:14:48,770 --> 00:14:50,525
who only cares about looks.

340
00:14:50,609 --> 00:14:54,479
I think we all feel that way about our mothers, and we all have legs.

341
00:14:59,449 --> 00:15:03,607
Meanwhile, George Sr. arrived at the Startled Straight tent.

342
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,529
I'll be waiting out here with my enlistment forms,

343
00:15:05,610 --> 00:15:09,148
so go in there and scare them right into my open arm!

344
00:15:09,739 --> 00:15:14,024
But as it turns out, the fair had two Startled Straight tents.

345
00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:18,305
George Sr. had wandered into the church-sponsored one...

346
00:15:18,397 --> 00:15:19,805
Do you want to become some guy's girlfriend?

347
00:15:19,905 --> 00:15:24,203
...intended to scare gay young men into a heterosexual lifestyle.

348
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,007
You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night,

349
00:15:26,019 --> 00:15:27,867
start messing with your junk?

350
00:15:27,916 --> 00:15:29,157
Is he ugly?

351
00:15:29,532 --> 00:15:31,278
No, it's pitch black.

352
00:15:31,377 --> 00:15:35,091
You don't see him, and it never stops, guys.

353
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:37,240
And everybody acts like it's no big deal.

354
00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:39,094
Is there a cover charge?

355
00:15:39,202 --> 00:15:42,744
And the Inner Beauty Pageant was down to the final three.

356
00:15:42,835 --> 00:15:46,076
Will it be the beautiful Hope Loblaw?

357
00:15:46,851 --> 00:15:49,845
The stalwart Annabelle Veal?

358
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:53,893
Or the justifiably-bitter Surely Woolfbeak?

359
00:15:54,786 --> 00:15:57,803
It became clear that Surely was going to win.

360
00:15:57,889 --> 00:15:59,014
I'm sorry.

361
00:15:59,466 --> 00:16:00,334
This is wrong.

362
00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:03,778
And that's when Maeby displayed some real inner beauty.

363
00:16:03,884 --> 00:16:06,014
One of these girls deserves to win.

364
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,647
She can stand!

365
00:16:07,665 --> 00:16:08,721
The Lord's blessed her!

366
00:16:08,814 --> 00:16:10,120
Maeby?

367
00:16:10,481 --> 00:16:12,488
That's how I know her.

368
00:16:12,621 --> 00:16:13,910
Let us pray.

369
00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:15,661
Oh, for God's sake.

370
00:16:17,703 --> 00:16:20,285
And Michael, now feeling a little woozy,

371
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,955
arrived to see the triathlon course,

372
00:16:23,062 --> 00:16:26,747
which consisted of several tricycles, five inflatable pools...

373
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:27,714
What the hell is this?

374
00:16:27,807 --> 00:16:30,652
...and fathers and sons being manacled together.

375
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:31,899
Don't let it psyche you out.

376
00:16:32,021 --> 00:16:33,929
Did that Oxy-Incontinent set in yet?

377
00:16:34,087 --> 00:16:35,883
You knew this is what the race was?

378
00:16:35,989 --> 00:16:39,860
Kind of... I mean, they change it every year, so you can't replicate it on your lawn, but...

379
00:16:39,881 --> 00:16:41,549
Why did you let me train so hard?

380
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,146
I just thought you wanted to hang out and do guy stuff.

381
00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:46,081
This isn't guy stuff.

382
00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:49,196
I don't know why I thought you'd want to do this.

383
00:16:49,302 --> 00:16:51,198
- It's stupid, huh?
- No, Steve, Steve...

384
00:16:51,769 --> 00:16:53,142
you're not going anywhere.

385
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,171
You'll do it with me?

386
00:16:54,267 --> 00:16:57,498
We're chained together. But, you know, Rita's not here yet, and what the hell--

387
00:16:57,589 --> 00:16:58,914
Let's go win this thing.

388
00:16:59,012 --> 00:17:00,404
Let's win this thing!

389
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,684
What the hell!

390
00:17:02,996 --> 00:17:04,967
Come on, let's go ahead and start up.

391
00:17:05,184 --> 00:17:08,645
And, after the pageant, George Michael went to congratulate Ann.

392
00:17:08,747 --> 00:17:11,097
Well, congratulations on coming in third. That's amazing.

393
00:17:11,206 --> 00:17:13,740
And I heard you're the first camel act to ever crack the top ten, too,

394
00:17:13,838 --> 00:17:15,595
so that's like a record.

395
00:17:15,693 --> 00:17:17,777
And I'm a bit relieved, because, um...

396
00:17:17,925 --> 00:17:21,931
I was... I thought maybe if you came in first you would have outgrown me.

397
00:17:22,451 --> 00:17:23,945
Outgrown you.

398
00:17:24,123 --> 00:17:26,216
That is the term I've been looking for.

399
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:30,534
It seems Gob was right about what happens to third-place contestants.

400
00:17:30,607 --> 00:17:32,047
I met a man.

401
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,706
George Michael was devastated.

402
00:17:34,819 --> 00:17:39,456
It seemed he'd lost his girl and his father because he wasn't man enough.

403
00:17:39,579 --> 00:17:41,964
And he was faced with a choice.

404
00:17:57,750 --> 00:18:02,360
Michael and Steve Holt finished their triathlon in first place.

405
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,160
Of course, they were way older.

406
00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:07,011
Believe it or not, that took about everything I've got.

407
00:18:07,089 --> 00:18:09,296
I don't know what was in that pill, but I do not feel great.

408
00:18:09,365 --> 00:18:11,027
Gonna get a little worse before it gets better.

409
00:18:11,109 --> 00:18:12,316
- Really?
- But we won!

410
00:18:12,401 --> 00:18:12,911
Okay.

411
00:18:13,014 --> 00:18:14,013
Hey, possible nephew.

412
00:18:14,101 --> 00:18:16,383
- Oh, hey.
- Michael, your son's signing up for the Army.

413
00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:18,342
What? You signed him up for the Army?

414
00:18:18,447 --> 00:18:20,483
You're right, if he goes in, I get out.

415
00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:21,762
I've got to get my name on his form.

416
00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:24,644
Hang on, hey! I got to get there; I got to stop this!

417
00:18:25,158 --> 00:18:26,595
Hey, do this with me!

418
00:18:27,177 --> 00:18:30,077
And that's when Rita noticed Michael.

419
00:18:30,414 --> 00:18:32,161
Wait for me! Wait for me!

420
00:18:33,032 --> 00:18:34,017
Michael.

421
00:18:34,209 --> 00:18:35,124
Hey.

422
00:18:35,285 --> 00:18:36,617
Could you not finish?

423
00:18:36,702 --> 00:18:40,150
No, first place! First place, I swear, but I'm sorry, I got to go do something--

424
00:18:40,209 --> 00:18:41,058
wait, I'm dizzy.

425
00:18:41,129 --> 00:18:43,104
Uncle Mike, come on. I'll take you.

426
00:18:43,193 --> 00:18:44,998
No, no, Steve. Steve, Steve!

427
00:18:45,013 --> 00:18:45,810
Hiya.

428
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:47,804
No, let's go, come on. Come on, let's go.

429
00:18:47,867 --> 00:18:53,112
And, meanwhile, George Sr. hadn't succeeded in startling anyone but himself.

430
00:18:53,186 --> 00:18:55,972
I mean, there's nothing to do all day except lift weights,

431
00:18:56,043 --> 00:19:01,216
and fold laundry, get thrown into a cage with a bunch of sweaty men.

432
00:19:01,409 --> 00:19:02,466
Excuse me.

433
00:19:02,881 --> 00:19:04,386
I can't go back,

434
00:19:04,608 --> 00:19:06,008
I can't go back!

435
00:19:06,663 --> 00:19:08,076
Well, I'm glad he won't be there.

436
00:19:08,563 --> 00:19:12,655
George Sr. came across a U.S. Army Combat Humvee

437
00:19:12,746 --> 00:19:14,371
and the Pope Mobile.

438
00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:17,592
And he decided to escape in the bulletproof one.

439
00:19:18,008 --> 00:19:20,408
No, no, no, no, no. Come on!

440
00:19:20,485 --> 00:19:22,189
I can't go back.

441
00:19:22,534 --> 00:19:24,641
And Michael caught up with George Michael...

442
00:19:24,732 --> 00:19:25,375
What are you doing?

443
00:19:25,466 --> 00:19:28,554
... who was three rungs away from being in the Army.

444
00:19:28,583 --> 00:19:29,601
I'm becoming a man, Dad.

445
00:19:29,677 --> 00:19:30,695
Isn't that what everybody wants?

446
00:19:30,793 --> 00:19:33,491
Of course not-- Gob, can you get us out of these chains, please?

447
00:19:33,569 --> 00:19:36,198
So you steal my son, and now you need me to save yours.

448
00:19:36,277 --> 00:19:38,810
All right, one key coming up.

449
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,254
He's a magician.

450
00:19:40,439 --> 00:19:42,469
We need you to sign this form.

451
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,180
No, it's good, Dad. There's all sorts of benefits, and it's like a family...

452
00:19:46,274 --> 00:19:47,859
but it's also an army of one.

453
00:19:47,956 --> 00:19:49,653
And it's no place for wimps.

454
00:19:49,746 --> 00:19:54,072
George Michael, you have a family, okay, and I'm the wimp, not you...

455
00:19:54,265 --> 00:19:58,020
because I could not take you being away in the Army.

456
00:19:58,098 --> 00:19:59,547
All right? I love you.

457
00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:05,043
That did it. He's not signing up.

458
00:20:05,192 --> 00:20:08,330
That's too bad. I was this close to getting out.

459
00:20:08,966 --> 00:20:11,262
I think I'm gonna go get one of those corn dog crosses.

460
00:20:11,338 --> 00:20:13,036
- With all the "crucifixins"?
- Right.

461
00:20:14,167 --> 00:20:15,144
Thanks, Dad.

462
00:20:21,630 --> 00:20:22,751
Was that your son?

463
00:20:22,841 --> 00:20:24,728
Yes, Rita, yeah.

464
00:20:24,842 --> 00:20:27,165
Most important person in the world to me.

465
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:30,021
You really are quite a man, Michael.

466
00:20:31,031 --> 00:20:32,008
Do you really think so?

467
00:20:32,088 --> 00:20:32,936
Oh, yes.

468
00:20:33,039 --> 00:20:36,568
You're a complete and utter... ( bleep )

469
00:20:40,237 --> 00:20:42,771
I can't believe we had to bleep that.

470
00:20:43,157 --> 00:20:45,210
It would have been such a nice moment.

471
00:20:45,998 --> 00:20:48,232
On the next... Arrested Development...

472
00:20:48,296 --> 00:20:50,966
Buster signs up Steve Holt up for the Army.

473
00:20:51,047 --> 00:20:53,196
No, you can't, you can't!

474
00:20:53,328 --> 00:20:55,440
I'm finally ready to be a father to you.

475
00:20:55,519 --> 00:20:56,590
I know that now.

476
00:20:56,676 --> 00:20:58,816
I don't go in for another two years.

477
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,331
Well, as your father, can't I sign something?

478
00:21:01,483 --> 00:21:05,717
And George Sr. finds out that a fake Pope Mobile...

479
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:11,109
... can't stop real bullets.

480
00:21:11,196 --> 00:21:12,618
Thank God I wasn't in the Humvee.

481
00:21:12,699 --> 00:21:14,744
Transcript: Raceman - Synchro: Amariss
- www.forom.com -



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