1
00:00:01,893 --> 00:00:04,992
Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything

2
00:00:05,044 --> 00:00:08,796
and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.

3
00:00:14,587 --> 00:00:16,528
It's Arrested Development.

4
00:00:19,006 --> 00:00:22,365
Michael Bluth and his family were meeting with their new attorney.

5
00:00:22,431 --> 00:00:25,782
Look, this is not the first time I've been brought in to replace Barry Zuckerkorn.

6
00:00:25,862 --> 00:00:27,878
I think I can do for you everything he did.

7
00:00:27,966 --> 00:00:29,434
Plus, skew younger.

8
00:00:29,523 --> 00:00:30,982
With juries and so forth.

9
00:00:31,053 --> 00:00:32,034
Any other questions?

10
00:00:32,103 --> 00:00:35,881
Yes. How can you be even cuter in person than you are in your ads?

11
00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:40,141
Are you a CEO, CFO or other executive facing these or similar charges?

12
00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:45,051
Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?

13
00:00:46,352 --> 00:00:47,806
You don't need double-talk.

14
00:00:47,897 --> 00:00:49,511
You need Bob Loblaw.

15
00:00:49,833 --> 00:00:51,692
Bob Loblaw,  no habla Espanol.

16
00:00:51,770 --> 00:00:54,120
Well, we're not here to talk nonsense to Bob Loblaw.

17
00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:56,500
We need to find out if the government has a good case against us.

18
00:00:56,541 --> 00:00:59,711
There was a lot of proof that my father was building houses in Iraq.

19
00:00:59,783 --> 00:01:02,523
Well, your father claims he was put up to it by a British syndicate.

20
00:01:02,567 --> 00:01:04,196
And you've been threatened, isn't that correct?

21
00:01:04,257 --> 00:01:05,148
It was.

22
00:01:05,209 --> 00:01:08,763
How would you like someone going after some stupid person in your family?

23
00:01:08,785 --> 00:01:10,795
Now back off, you ( bleep ) ponce!

24
00:01:11,599 --> 00:01:13,176
It's been a week. Nothing's happened.

25
00:01:13,268 --> 00:01:16,961
Yeah, but you're not the one stuck under house arrest like a sitting duck.

26
00:01:17,008 --> 00:01:18,307
Yeah, that's my father.

27
00:01:18,373 --> 00:01:20,862
That's why we had the meeting here-- so that he couldn't interfere.

28
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:25,250
Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw.

29
00:01:26,006 --> 00:01:27,222
I'm sorry. Have we met?

30
00:01:27,297 --> 00:01:28,737
Oh, yes, this is Larry Mittleman.

31
00:01:28,778 --> 00:01:29,969
He's your father's surrogate.

32
00:01:30,038 --> 00:01:31,046
Surrogate?

33
00:01:31,209 --> 00:01:33,186
That's right, you dumb ( bleep ).

34
00:01:33,202 --> 00:01:37,868
I hired this guy to wear a camera in his hat so he could be my eyes and ears while I'm stuck in this penthouse.

35
00:01:37,929 --> 00:01:40,974
This camera helps me keep tabs on you idiots,

36
00:01:41,019 --> 00:01:43,466
while this thing rubs my ankle raw.

37
00:01:43,549 --> 00:01:45,709
I mean, look at this thing.

38
00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:47,634
- I can't even go in the hallway...
- ...without hearing...

39
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:50,220
...that beep, beep, beep.

40
00:01:50,470 --> 00:01:52,565
That's one of my partners. Excuse me.

41
00:01:52,944 --> 00:01:55,473
I would like to be one of your partners.

42
00:01:56,051 --> 00:01:58,335
Do you think he got that-- the two meanings?

43
00:01:58,412 --> 00:02:00,240
He's running pretty fast. I think he did.

44
00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:02,712
Well, he was flirting earlier, I'll tell you that.

45
00:02:02,779 --> 00:02:05,472
Just so you know... I'm looking to get divorced.

46
00:02:05,529 --> 00:02:07,351
- Are you interested?
- Yes.

47
00:02:12,046 --> 00:02:13,485
Let's call that a half hour.

48
00:02:13,757 --> 00:02:16,003
So you're not the only one who's got a date later.

49
00:02:16,082 --> 00:02:16,988
You've got a date?

50
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:20,038
Her name's Rita. She teaches children at a private school and we're just having lunch.

51
00:02:20,095 --> 00:02:22,973
Oh, lunch? Well, better bring some dog food.

52
00:02:23,035 --> 00:02:25,036
'Cause all the girls you date are dogs, and...

53
00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:27,211
Dogs love dog food, right, Pop?

54
00:02:27,288 --> 00:02:29,716
Shut up, you idiot. I'm trying to watch the game.

55
00:02:29,798 --> 00:02:31,251
I was trying to make you laugh, Dad.

56
00:02:31,662 --> 00:02:33,213
That's all I ever wanted.

57
00:02:34,596 --> 00:02:37,135
You know, Gob, she's not a dog. It's the just opposite, actually.

58
00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:39,612
She's exquisitely beautiful. She's fun,

59
00:02:39,706 --> 00:02:43,068
carefree, smart, full of surprises.

60
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,120
Including the fact that she was working with this man--

61
00:02:46,186 --> 00:02:48,537
who was currently dropping her off for her date.

62
00:02:48,547 --> 00:02:51,793
All this fun and carefree act is only going to fool him for so long.

63
00:02:51,821 --> 00:02:53,028
I'm a big girl.

64
00:02:53,057 --> 00:02:55,906
Yeah. Well, if he finds out what you really are

65
00:02:55,912 --> 00:02:58,143
he might not make things so simple for you.

66
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,650
Rita, don't forget your hat.

67
00:03:06,536 --> 00:03:08,311
I know, that might make you feel she's too good for me.

68
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:09,289
How do you think I feel?

69
00:03:09,345 --> 00:03:13,181
Bob Loblaw's a handsome, professional man and I'm only just a...

70
00:03:13,257 --> 00:03:14,854
well, none of those things.

71
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:17,983
Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over--

72
00:03:18,049 --> 00:03:19,734
an analyst and a therapist.

73
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,976
The world's first analrapist.

74
00:03:22,058 --> 00:03:25,084
Yes, and you were almost arrested for those business cards.

75
00:03:25,156 --> 00:03:28,965
Yes. No, it did not look good on paper but I didn't stop because of the police inquiries,

76
00:03:29,032 --> 00:03:31,541
I stopped to raise our little daughter.

77
00:03:31,596 --> 00:03:35,401
But since we have both started to grow hair in unexpected places,

78
00:03:35,442 --> 00:03:38,033
I supposed I shall soon be working as a leading man.

79
00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:40,173
And she may soon start dating.

80
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:42,902
- Maeby had already started dating.
- All right, see you tomorrow night.

81
00:03:43,071 --> 00:03:44,945
Another date with Steve Holt?

82
00:03:45,106 --> 00:03:47,362
Yeah. We're getting pretty serious.

83
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,155
They weren't.

84
00:03:48,237 --> 00:03:51,417
She was just avoiding her real crush on George Michael.

85
00:03:51,478 --> 00:03:53,381
That Steve sure knows how to please a lady.

86
00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:54,529
Good.

87
00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:57,278
I was helping he would be gifted sexually.

88
00:03:57,376 --> 00:04:01,139
I guess it makes sense, you know, older guys expect certain things.

89
00:04:01,232 --> 00:04:02,143
They do?

90
00:04:02,347 --> 00:04:04,508
What a fun, sexy time for you.

91
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,654
I'd be very careful of these British people.

92
00:04:06,715 --> 00:04:09,793
They're going to try to get their hands on any evidence they can to hurt the family.

93
00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,477
So you're saying shred the evidence?

94
00:04:11,539 --> 00:04:12,849
No, that's illegal.

95
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,954
The prosecution is entitled to that evidence.

96
00:04:15,010 --> 00:04:16,315
Without it, they don't have a case.

97
00:04:16,373 --> 00:04:17,733
So you're saying shred the evidence?

98
00:04:17,820 --> 00:04:19,060
That's a felony.

99
00:04:19,136 --> 00:04:21,078
And I certainly couldn't endorse anything like that.

100
00:04:21,144 --> 00:04:22,321
Got ya.

101
00:04:22,475 --> 00:04:23,110
Wink.

102
00:04:23,207 --> 00:04:24,191
Wink.

103
00:04:24,446 --> 00:04:26,857
Did you say "wink" or did you wink?

104
00:04:26,940 --> 00:04:28,451
He said that, too, Dad.

105
00:04:28,541 --> 00:04:30,380
We'll talk soon, folks. Thank you.

106
00:04:30,467 --> 00:04:32,950
Where you going? Where is the surrogate going?

107
00:04:33,018 --> 00:04:33,999
Stay there.

108
00:04:34,082 --> 00:04:36,105
I want to see what he's going to say. Don't leave.

109
00:04:36,202 --> 00:04:37,242
See you, pop.

110
00:04:37,913 --> 00:04:41,060
Gob, instead of trying to impress your fake father,

111
00:04:41,126 --> 00:04:43,027
maybe you should spend some time with your real son.

112
00:04:43,066 --> 00:04:44,404
Steve Holt's not my son.

113
00:04:44,482 --> 00:04:45,305
Steve Holt?

114
00:04:45,377 --> 00:04:46,718
With the moron jock?

115
00:04:46,769 --> 00:04:48,715
That's my son, you pothead.

116
00:04:48,791 --> 00:04:50,164
Hey, hey, hey, that's my son.

117
00:04:50,185 --> 00:04:52,514
Wait, so that means that Steve Holt is my cousin?

118
00:04:52,576 --> 00:04:54,019
And Maeby's cousin, too.

119
00:04:54,081 --> 00:04:54,731
I guess.

120
00:04:54,792 --> 00:04:56,284
Shoot, I'm late for my date.

121
00:04:56,657 --> 00:04:58,090
At the kennel.

122
00:04:58,284 --> 00:04:58,971
Right.

123
00:04:59,722 --> 00:05:02,320
Sorry. You lobbed that one right over the plate, Michael.

124
00:05:02,959 --> 00:05:03,774
Home run.

125
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:07,500
And Michael hurried to the British section Orange County for his date.

126
00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:09,507
...American! Get out of the road.

127
00:05:09,621 --> 00:05:15,155
Only to find that Rita had chosen Wee Britain's one American-themed restaurant.

128
00:05:15,242 --> 00:05:16,855
Oh, hello. I'm sorry I'm late.

129
00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,478
Oh, no bother.

130
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,890
I've been having such fun on this space shuttle.

131
00:05:20,966 --> 00:05:21,965
Strike one, huh?

132
00:05:22,046 --> 00:05:23,475
Shall we go ahead and sit down?

133
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:31,269
Hey, dudes, I'll get you a couple of 64-ounce colas

134
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:35,333
to wash down this basket of doughnut and get your nachos started.

135
00:05:35,390 --> 00:05:37,299
I guess this is what the British think of Americans.

136
00:05:37,372 --> 00:05:39,589
- They like our food.
- Whatever do you mean?

137
00:05:41,237 --> 00:05:42,662
Yeah. Uh...

138
00:05:42,798 --> 00:05:44,909
You know, Rita, you're going to figure this out eventually,

139
00:05:44,959 --> 00:05:47,607
but I have not been on a date in a long, long time.

140
00:05:47,730 --> 00:05:50,315
- Neither have I.
- I wonder why?

141
00:05:50,801 --> 00:05:52,635
No, I bet men ask you out constantly.

142
00:05:52,711 --> 00:05:54,074
Not men like you.

143
00:05:54,463 --> 00:05:56,341
I seem to only meet little boys.

144
00:05:56,408 --> 00:05:58,467
Part of that might be that you spend your day at a preschool.

145
00:05:58,549 --> 00:06:00,980
And they think the stupidest things are funny.

146
00:06:01,062 --> 00:06:03,198
Yeah, that's a cultural problem, is what it is.

147
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:06,714
You know, your average American male is in perpetual state of adolescence,

148
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,124
you know. arrested development.

149
00:06:08,196 --> 00:06:10,001
Hey, that's the name of the show.

150
00:06:10,105 --> 00:06:14,011
No attention span. You know, can't even carry on a typical conv...

151
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,327
Michael thought he spotted the man who'd threatened him earlier.

152
00:06:18,388 --> 00:06:20,470
I'm getting back on the space shuttle.

153
00:06:20,550 --> 00:06:22,813
No, no, no. Sorry, sorry. Sit, please.

154
00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:24,681
Let's talk about you. Tell me about your family.

155
00:06:24,764 --> 00:06:25,572
No.

156
00:06:26,721 --> 00:06:29,315
They're pushy, bossy, want to control me.

157
00:06:29,587 --> 00:06:30,989
What about your family?

158
00:06:31,854 --> 00:06:33,780
I'd love to meet your family.

159
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:37,937
Michael knew from experience that this would not turn out well.

160
00:06:43,148 --> 00:06:46,339
If you like the small, why don't you come back for the medium?

161
00:06:52,358 --> 00:06:53,904
I probably should warn you about my mother...

162
00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:55,115
Hi.

163
00:06:57,352 --> 00:07:00,440
So he came up with a solution so simple, he'd wondered

164
00:07:00,491 --> 00:07:03,220
why he'd never told anyone it before.

165
00:07:03,726 --> 00:07:05,330
I don't have a family.

166
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:09,303
I can't believe I've never told anybody that before.

167
00:07:09,665 --> 00:07:10,823
That's so sad.

168
00:07:10,905 --> 00:07:12,452
Yes,it's sad. Super sad.

169
00:07:12,534 --> 00:07:13,793
Shall we eat?

170
00:07:17,111 --> 00:07:21,252
Michael had started a relationship by lying about the existence of his family.

171
00:07:21,304 --> 00:07:24,263
I think this went really well, huh? Maybe sometime we can have dinner?

172
00:07:24,627 --> 00:07:26,077
Could I see your house?

173
00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:28,998
Michael was caught off guard by the question.

174
00:07:30,002 --> 00:07:32,989
No, no, I-I can't do that.

175
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:33,929
Okay, bye-bye.

176
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:35,625
Uh... bye.

177
00:07:36,445 --> 00:07:38,983
And he vowed not to be caught off guard again.

178
00:07:39,045 --> 00:07:40,264
I didn't mean that...

179
00:07:41,652 --> 00:07:43,248
So did he invite you over, then?

180
00:07:43,349 --> 00:07:44,769
Not yet, but he will.

181
00:07:46,269 --> 00:07:48,604
So Michael went back to work.

182
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:50,873
Hey, who brought in the wood...?

183
00:07:54,722 --> 00:07:58,281
Gob, you can't shred this evidence. You'll end up in jail.

184
00:07:58,308 --> 00:07:59,464
Dad told me to.

185
00:07:59,516 --> 00:08:01,251
How can I say no to that face?

186
00:08:01,383 --> 00:08:05,116
Get this stuff out of here, and put it somewhere where Dad can't get to it.

187
00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:06,507
Are you in on this, too?

188
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,997
No, I'm just here to go out to lunch with your father.

189
00:08:10,428 --> 00:08:13,081
The man said he's never felt more free in his life.

190
00:08:13,148 --> 00:08:14,953
I'm like a bird up there...

191
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,571
Ah, did you tell him about my medal?

192
00:08:17,646 --> 00:08:19,217
Medal? What for?

193
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,141
Oh, who knows what they were saying?

194
00:08:21,191 --> 00:08:23,968
...private citizenship and hereby reenlist in the armed services of the United States of America?

195
00:08:23,995 --> 00:08:26,019
If you agree with this, say thank you."

196
00:08:26,075 --> 00:08:27,917
Thank you. Wow.

197
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:31,808
- I have so many people to thank.
- Private Ashford, step forward.

198
00:08:31,898 --> 00:08:34,399
It's probably because a seal bit off his hand.

199
00:08:34,475 --> 00:08:37,480
The army has taken to giving medals for being food.

200
00:08:37,804 --> 00:08:38,797
Just then...

201
00:08:40,885 --> 00:08:42,786
It's so simple.

202
00:08:43,504 --> 00:08:46,984
My ankle monitor only goes off when go out the front door.

203
00:08:47,055 --> 00:08:48,274
We need balloons.

204
00:08:48,356 --> 00:08:49,242
A party.

205
00:08:49,314 --> 00:08:52,186
We need to throw a party... for Buster's stupid thing.

206
00:08:52,273 --> 00:08:54,228
Larry, go get some balloons.

207
00:08:54,315 --> 00:08:57,475
And Michael found a way to get Rita to his house after all.

208
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,194
That's a great idea. Honor Buster tomorrow night.

209
00:09:00,254 --> 00:09:03,460
We'll get the whole family over to the penthouse, show him our support.

210
00:09:03,527 --> 00:09:05,723
Well, I suppose it's better than drinking alone.

211
00:09:05,785 --> 00:09:06,661
What time?

212
00:09:06,723 --> 00:09:09,051
It doesn't matter to me. I can't be there. I've got a date with Rita.

213
00:09:11,283 --> 00:09:14,075
Well, Mom's probably right. I couldn't even stand up to a seal.

214
00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:15,964
I don't real deserve a medal or a party.

215
00:09:16,024 --> 00:09:17,524
No, you deserve this.

216
00:09:17,669 --> 00:09:19,835
Here, take my business card.

217
00:09:20,207 --> 00:09:22,477
No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist.

218
00:09:22,503 --> 00:09:24,462
It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me.

219
00:09:24,529 --> 00:09:27,662
You see, Buster, it wasn't the seal that you couldn't stand up to.

220
00:09:27,714 --> 00:09:29,890
It was... Lucille.

221
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,289
Oh, I'm getting chills.

222
00:09:33,391 --> 00:09:37,606
If this was a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break.

223
00:09:39,904 --> 00:09:41,107
But it wasn't.

224
00:09:41,292 --> 00:09:44,598
And later Lindsay was on the phone with Bob Loblaw.

225
00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:47,862
The thing about Tobias-- that he's never fulfilled me sexually.

226
00:09:47,918 --> 00:09:51,409
Can you catalog for me the various ways you've been promised to be fulfilled

227
00:09:51,456 --> 00:09:53,775
whether or not said promise was made explicit?

228
00:09:53,842 --> 00:09:55,511
You want me to be explicit?

229
00:09:55,623 --> 00:09:58,736
Yes, but I will be needing to get off in four minutes.

230
00:09:58,803 --> 00:10:02,464
Well, let's see if I can't hit that target for you.

231
00:10:02,546 --> 00:10:04,813
The next day on the way to pick up Rita,

232
00:10:04,886 --> 00:10:09,519
Michael stopped by his house to make sure there were no signs of his family...

233
00:10:09,657 --> 00:10:12,263
only to discover there was nothing but.

234
00:10:12,341 --> 00:10:13,748
What the hell is all this?

235
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,167
Oh, Gob brought all this stuff in.

236
00:10:15,233 --> 00:10:17,828
And, Mom, what is with all the family photos?

237
00:10:17,906 --> 00:10:20,804
Oh, I'm teaching Buster to stand up for himself.

238
00:10:20,876 --> 00:10:22,309
I'm surrogating your mother.

239
00:10:22,386 --> 00:10:23,788
By wearing her sealskin coat?

240
00:10:23,845 --> 00:10:27,040
Michael, I have tried on everything, and nothing seems be working.

241
00:10:27,112 --> 00:10:29,851
I thought the Donna Karan worked; you just didn't have the right shoes.

242
00:10:29,901 --> 00:10:32,468
Look, I've got to get rid of any evidence of my family and quickly--

243
00:10:32,522 --> 00:10:34,049
including you guys.

244
00:10:34,453 --> 00:10:35,692
Get out of here.

245
00:10:36,031 --> 00:10:38,324
See, now that's how you stand up to Mother.

246
00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:42,205
Meanwhile, worried about Steve Holt's sexual expectations,

247
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:43,854
Maeby tried to cancel her date.

248
00:10:43,927 --> 00:10:46,045
My whole family and I now have to go to my grandma's house,

249
00:10:46,111 --> 00:10:47,874
'cause my uncle lost his hand.

250
00:10:47,975 --> 00:10:50,955
Awesome! So you and I can party alone at your house.

251
00:10:51,021 --> 00:10:53,455
Maeby was too young to know what to do.

252
00:10:53,510 --> 00:10:57,627
Ironically, in her after-school job as a movie studio executive,

253
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:01,805
she'd just green-lit two films that dealt with the very issue.

254
00:11:02,025 --> 00:11:03,238
Rock the house.

255
00:11:03,427 --> 00:11:04,103
All right.

256
00:11:04,207 --> 00:11:06,607
George Michael also didn't know what to do.

257
00:11:06,684 --> 00:11:09,879
If he pointed out that the two were cousins to drive them apart,

258
00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:13,161
he might be burning the very bridge that he one day hoped to cross.

259
00:11:13,243 --> 00:11:14,978
Michael. I'm doing your cousin tonight.

260
00:11:15,066 --> 00:11:16,115
So are you.

261
00:11:16,756 --> 00:11:17,651
What?

262
00:11:18,035 --> 00:11:19,525
She's your cousin, too.

263
00:11:19,781 --> 00:11:22,997
Back at the penthouse, party preparations were underway.

264
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:26,038
He's not wearing that to the party. I've go the exact same thing.

265
00:11:26,084 --> 00:11:27,958
No, he was just analraping me.

266
00:11:28,010 --> 00:11:30,964
Then Michael barged in, and kicked us out so he could shred all the evidence.

267
00:11:31,087 --> 00:11:32,724
Shred the evidence?

268
00:11:32,786 --> 00:11:34,312
Thought he didn't want us to do that.

269
00:11:34,379 --> 00:11:36,007
He didn't want us to get into trouble.

270
00:11:36,093 --> 00:11:37,748
He's taking the heat.

271
00:11:37,829 --> 00:11:39,514
He's doing that for us?

272
00:11:39,581 --> 00:11:41,521
And on the night of his date with Rita.

273
00:11:41,592 --> 00:11:43,569
Who he didn't want to bring over here.

274
00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:47,415
Probably because, let's face it, you people haven't been great with the others.

275
00:11:47,490 --> 00:11:50,384
Well, in our defense, Mom, we're not exactly dog people.

276
00:11:50,466 --> 00:11:52,218
We have got to start being nicer.

277
00:11:52,264 --> 00:11:53,513
I'm starting right now.

278
00:11:53,589 --> 00:11:55,897
Buster, the party's not for you anymore.

279
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,143
It's a "Welcome Rita" party.

280
00:11:59,221 --> 00:12:01,454
I know where she works. We can pick her up and surprise her.

281
00:12:01,519 --> 00:12:02,779
You're so right.

282
00:12:02,852 --> 00:12:05,254
This is better than a party for me.

283
00:12:05,431 --> 00:12:07,617
Come on. Grow a pair.

284
00:12:09,823 --> 00:12:14,991
You know, we need some weather balloons for this party and maybe a tank of hydrogen.

285
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,844
You know, really float those suckers.

286
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:20,382
Meanwhile, Michael was hiding the evidence wherever he could

287
00:12:20,444 --> 00:12:21,918
when he heard from his brother.

288
00:12:21,989 --> 00:12:25,502
Hey, friend. Gob here. We really want you at the party.

289
00:12:25,584 --> 00:12:29,613
We're really nice now, and God, we love you.

290
00:12:30,084 --> 00:12:31,816
Oh, damn it.

291
00:12:31,907 --> 00:12:36,187
And the family picked up Rita in the only vehicle big enough to hold them all.

292
00:12:36,254 --> 00:12:37,565
Hey, excuse me, Rita.

293
00:12:37,704 --> 00:12:38,650
I'm Rita.

294
00:12:38,855 --> 00:12:40,838
We're here to pick you up for Michael.

295
00:12:40,919 --> 00:12:42,778
You can just go in the cabin.

296
00:12:47,452 --> 00:12:48,481
Michael?

297
00:12:48,594 --> 00:12:50,929
Oh, he's not here.

298
00:12:51,005 --> 00:12:52,296
We're his family.

299
00:12:52,485 --> 00:12:54,194
His family?

300
00:12:54,288 --> 00:12:55,543
We're nice.

301
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:57,513
I'm sorry. I have to leave.

302
00:12:57,609 --> 00:13:00,277
Oh, no, you can't leave. Drive, Lindsay.

303
00:13:00,341 --> 00:13:01,737
Bye!

304
00:13:01,763 --> 00:13:03,263
We're doing this for Michael.

305
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,328
Stop her, Buster.

306
00:13:04,343 --> 00:13:05,346
What am I supposed to do?

307
00:13:05,404 --> 00:13:07,088
- Stop her!
- Stop yelling at me!

308
00:13:07,158 --> 00:13:07,998
I'm leaving!

309
00:13:08,026 --> 00:13:11,245
And that's when Buster noticed the seal on Rita's backpack.

310
00:13:18,495 --> 00:13:20,309
Hey, talk about cathartic.

311
00:13:20,393 --> 00:13:22,073
Now that's an act break.

312
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,389
Buster had overcome his fear of seals.

313
00:13:29,407 --> 00:13:33,036
Unfortunately, he'd done so by knocking out Michael's new girlfriend.

314
00:13:33,042 --> 00:13:34,617
What the hell did you do?

315
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,647
You curious, Mom?

316
00:13:35,719 --> 00:13:37,214
I can show you.

317
00:13:37,310 --> 00:13:38,477
You made a mistake.

318
00:13:38,606 --> 00:13:39,658
You're human...

319
00:13:39,815 --> 00:13:40,889
except for the hand.

320
00:13:40,961 --> 00:13:42,307
It's okay, she's alive.

321
00:13:42,436 --> 00:13:44,699
And soft. Soft and alive.

322
00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:47,398
All right, let's not add that to the charges.

323
00:13:47,424 --> 00:13:49,542
What do we do? She's going to tell Michael.

324
00:13:49,661 --> 00:13:52,691
And he won't hear the good stuff. He'll just hear about the beating.

325
00:13:52,758 --> 00:13:54,903
Wait! Maybe we can give her a Forget-Me-Now.

326
00:13:54,970 --> 00:13:57,935
Here you go, hot dog. Take the pill.

327
00:13:57,941 --> 00:13:59,007
What's a Forget-Me-Now?

328
00:13:59,086 --> 00:14:01,446
They're pills that create a sort of temporary forgettingness.

329
00:14:01,528 --> 00:14:03,920
So if somebody finds out how you do a trick, you just give 'em one of these,

330
00:14:03,970 --> 00:14:05,226
and they forget the whole thing.

331
00:14:05,253 --> 00:14:07,267
It's a mainstay of the magician's toolkit,

332
00:14:07,329 --> 00:14:09,403
like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether.

333
00:14:09,459 --> 00:14:11,497
Gob, this is Flunitrazepam.

334
00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:12,807
It's a roofie.

335
00:14:12,835 --> 00:14:14,375
Those are illegal.

336
00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:15,373
Shut up, Mom.

337
00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:17,370
Don't make me give you another one of these.

338
00:14:20,112 --> 00:14:22,162
Lindsay, help me! Three!

339
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:30,400
Back at the house, Michael finished his work and now late, rushed to pick up Rita.

340
00:14:30,421 --> 00:14:34,347
Moments later, Maeby prepared to tell Steve she wasn't ready for romance.

341
00:14:34,419 --> 00:14:36,565
Well, this sends a mixed message.

342
00:14:36,652 --> 00:14:40,205
Just as Steve showed up to call things off with his cousin.

343
00:14:40,232 --> 00:14:41,767
You did all this for me?

344
00:14:41,859 --> 00:14:43,989
Yes, well...

345
00:14:44,106 --> 00:14:46,292
I'm going to go get sexy.

346
00:14:49,364 --> 00:14:51,387
And Michael missed Rita.

347
00:14:53,651 --> 00:14:54,526
Damn it.

348
00:14:54,804 --> 00:14:56,154
Strike two.

349
00:14:57,173 --> 00:14:57,998
Take it down.

350
00:14:58,079 --> 00:15:00,690
We don't want anything in this house that says "Rita."

351
00:15:00,762 --> 00:15:07,070
Hi, it's Michael. I will be coming to the party because I love you, too.

352
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:09,345
Okay, we need a new banner.

353
00:15:09,907 --> 00:15:12,421
And that's when Michael found Rita.

354
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:13,578
Rita...

355
00:15:14,249 --> 00:15:16,282
Why am I on a bus bench, Michael?

356
00:15:16,353 --> 00:15:17,562
I get it... because I'm late.

357
00:15:17,619 --> 00:15:21,151
I'm sorry, but the rest of the night's going to be all about you, I promise.

358
00:15:21,294 --> 00:15:22,609
Great, great.

359
00:15:22,707 --> 00:15:25,226
I am going to have to make one quick stop. Maybe you can just wait in the car.

360
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,637
It's just going to be two seconds, I promise.

361
00:15:27,659 --> 00:15:30,920
And so Michael raced up to pay his quick respect to Buster.

362
00:15:30,923 --> 00:15:32,917
Ah, there he is, my favorite son.

363
00:15:33,029 --> 00:15:36,285
- Everybody's favorite son!
- Mr. Wonderful!

364
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,655
I had a great time.
I wish I could have stayed longer.

365
00:15:39,707 --> 00:15:41,048
It was a great party, huh?

366
00:15:41,134 --> 00:15:43,929
Tell Buster I stopped by, please. I do have to leave, though.

367
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,951
Oh, no, no. The party is not for Buster anymore.

368
00:15:47,027 --> 00:15:49,136
No, Michael, it's for you.

369
00:15:49,234 --> 00:15:51,322
Take a look at banner, Michael!

370
00:15:52,865 --> 00:15:55,543
You guys did all of this for me?

371
00:15:55,603 --> 00:15:57,943
- "Family love..."
- Michael?

372
00:15:58,024 --> 00:15:59,735
Everyone froze.

373
00:15:59,870 --> 00:16:03,115
Michael feared he'd been caught in a lie about his family.

374
00:16:03,152 --> 00:16:09,106
His family feared they'd been caught by a woman they clubbed, drugged and left on a bench.

375
00:16:09,807 --> 00:16:11,174
It was awkward.

376
00:16:11,327 --> 00:16:12,853
Who's this?

377
00:16:12,946 --> 00:16:15,854
Mother! Mother! This is from army.

378
00:16:15,876 --> 00:16:17,645
I have to report for duty tomorrow.

379
00:16:17,704 --> 00:16:20,118
It says by accepting this medal, I was reenlisting.

380
00:16:20,121 --> 00:16:21,594
I didn't hear them say that.

381
00:16:21,621 --> 00:16:24,485
Perhaps if the sergeant had spoken more slowly she would have.

382
00:16:24,514 --> 00:16:26,678
In acceptance of this medal, you proudly waive all rights to private citizenship

383
00:16:26,744 --> 00:16:29,878
and hereby reenlist in the armed services of the Unites States of America.

384
00:16:29,933 --> 00:16:31,398
If you agree with is, say thank you.

385
00:16:31,410 --> 00:16:34,802
Than-nk... you.

386
00:16:34,855 --> 00:16:36,681
What am I going to do? I can't go back there.

387
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:37,972
I've never been.

388
00:16:38,009 --> 00:16:39,647
Who are these people?

389
00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:41,116
This is my family.

390
00:16:41,153 --> 00:16:43,712
No. No, I don't like these people.

391
00:16:43,759 --> 00:16:47,941
Me, you mean. She means me, because I lied about having a family

392
00:16:47,997 --> 00:16:50,880
because I was embarrassed by them.

393
00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:52,984
And I'm ashamed of that.

394
00:16:53,175 --> 00:16:54,653
I have to leave.

395
00:16:58,326 --> 00:16:59,789
Strike three.

396
00:16:59,835 --> 00:17:03,092
You said you didn't have a family?

397
00:17:03,286 --> 00:17:06,706
- Everody's favorite son.
- Mr. Terrible.

398
00:17:07,951 --> 00:17:10,506
And her, too good for us? Huh!

399
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:12,789
Buster, you should have finished the job.

400
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,131
Job? What job?

401
00:17:14,202 --> 00:17:16,460
Did I say job? I meant Gob.

402
00:17:16,945 --> 00:17:19,420
Buster's the one that hit her! I just gave her the roofie.

403
00:17:19,711 --> 00:17:20,671
Roofie?

404
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:21,621
Forget-Me-Now.

405
00:17:21,703 --> 00:17:24,222
You beat and drugged Rita?

406
00:17:26,209 --> 00:17:27,692
Take this and love us again.

407
00:17:27,705 --> 00:17:29,761
- No, Just take it!
- No, no! No, no, Gob!

408
00:17:30,627 --> 00:17:32,706
Um, I'm leaving, too.

409
00:17:34,476 --> 00:17:38,573
Well, no good deed goes unpunished.

410
00:17:38,606 --> 00:17:44,257
Oh, look, it's not all bad. I-I got Buster feeling better about his medal.

411
00:17:44,289 --> 00:17:45,470
Not anymore.

412
00:17:45,492 --> 00:17:47,175
I'm getting rid of this thing.

413
00:17:47,308 --> 00:17:50,794
It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect!

414
00:17:50,822 --> 00:17:54,414
Buster went to get rid of the medal he finally felt he deserved,

415
00:17:54,431 --> 00:17:57,774
but it was exactly when George Sr. was making his escape.

416
00:17:57,805 --> 00:17:59,723
Farewell to you all!

417
00:18:02,155 --> 00:18:06,405
But it turns out that hydrogen is more explosive than helium.

418
00:18:16,382 --> 00:18:19,688
And George Michael came home to find an unconscious Steve Holt.

419
00:18:19,702 --> 00:18:20,794
What have you guys been doing?

420
00:18:20,835 --> 00:18:22,109
I gave him a roofie.

421
00:18:23,155 --> 00:18:24,684
A girl's got to grow up sometime.

422
00:18:24,705 --> 00:18:25,877
He's your cousin.

423
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:27,362
My cousin?

424
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:31,422
I should have told you that. Now you've drugged him and had your way with him.

425
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:33,721
How is that even possible?

426
00:18:33,802 --> 00:18:35,589
No, George Michael, we didn't do anything.

427
00:18:35,676 --> 00:18:37,218
I just wanted him to think we did.

428
00:18:37,299 --> 00:18:40,363
Don't you see? I drugged him not to go all the way with him.

429
00:18:40,628 --> 00:18:44,002
Well, I think even the anti-drug people are going to be okay with that.

430
00:18:44,396 --> 00:18:47,094
Well, let's get his pants back on.

431
00:18:47,176 --> 00:18:48,231
You took his pants off?

432
00:18:48,621 --> 00:18:52,936
And Michael tried to salvage the remains of the files from the car fire.

433
00:18:53,014 --> 00:18:54,544
- You call the attorney?
- Yeah, I sure did,

434
00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:58,148
but he's not taking our calls because apparently the retainer all used up.

435
00:18:58,230 --> 00:19:00,345
He took my call. He's very good.

436
00:19:00,437 --> 00:19:02,045
Yeah, that's how the retainer got eaten up, okay?

437
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:04,671
The secretary took it all down here on the transcript.

438
00:19:06,105 --> 00:19:07,232
She's very good, too.

439
00:19:07,288 --> 00:19:08,158
I'm not paying for this.

440
00:19:08,245 --> 00:19:09,419
Well, what am supposed to do?

441
00:19:09,489 --> 00:19:10,514
I don't know, Lindsay.

442
00:19:10,586 --> 00:19:13,530
The thing you say on page seven looks like it could be worth some money.

443
00:19:17,630 --> 00:19:18,799
Speaking to me yet?

444
00:19:18,881 --> 00:19:20,160
It's only been an hour.

445
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,500
You know, here, here's what I don't understand.

446
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,368
What were you guys doing with Rita in the first place?

447
00:19:24,450 --> 00:19:26,739
We just wanted to do something nice for you, Michael,

448
00:19:26,810 --> 00:19:28,874
because you do so much for us.

449
00:19:28,976 --> 00:19:30,307
I guess we screwed it up.

450
00:19:30,844 --> 00:19:34,563
Well I screwed it up because I was trying to impress her

451
00:19:34,629 --> 00:19:37,000
and let's face it, she's probably too good for me.

452
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:40,466
No. What you need to do is go to her and ask for another chance.

453
00:19:40,548 --> 00:19:42,550
She'd be lucky to have you, Michael.

454
00:19:45,253 --> 00:19:46,333
Thanks, Gob.

455
00:19:46,804 --> 00:19:48,596
Sometimes you do surprise me.

456
00:19:48,653 --> 00:19:50,820
I've got one more surprise for you.

457
00:19:53,169 --> 00:19:55,253
It ain't easy being whi...

458
00:19:55,314 --> 00:20:00,245
And Michael did try again with Rita, but this time, determined to keep no secrets.

459
00:20:00,311 --> 00:20:04,135
I want to tell you everything if, if you're willing to listen.

460
00:20:04,596 --> 00:20:06,598
I'm a very good listener.

461
00:20:07,449 --> 00:20:08,384
Great.

462
00:20:09,148 --> 00:20:11,262
I'll start with the misdemeanors and then

463
00:20:11,303 --> 00:20:13,839
we're going to push right on through to the lighter treasons.

464
00:20:13,916 --> 00:20:16,993
So, 1983, uh...

465
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:27,699
Lindsay tries to work off her debt with Bob Loblaw.

466
00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:29,515
I'm willing to debase myself.

467
00:20:29,582 --> 00:20:32,434
Get a maid's uniform and come by my house around 7:00.

468
00:20:32,976 --> 00:20:34,575
There is no way to misterpret that.

469
00:20:34,693 --> 00:20:36,069
Except the one.

470
00:20:40,247 --> 00:20:43,571
And a traumatized Steve Holt needs a father.

471
00:20:43,633 --> 00:20:45,531
I've made a huge mistake.

472
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:50,436
I know the feeling.

473
00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:52,383
I had you.

474
00:20:54,172 --> 00:20:55,653
I'm your father, Steve Holt!

475
00:20:55,725 --> 00:20:57,344
I can't hide from it anymore.

476
00:20:58,389 --> 00:21:01,159
I won't forget this... Dad.

477
00:21:08,654 --> 00:21:09,534
I will.

478
00:21:14,748 --> 00:21:15,780
I will.

479
00:21:16,763 --> 00:21:18,776
Transcript: Raceman - Synchro: Amariss
Correction: Bijaz
- www.forom.com -

