1 00:00:00,819 --> 00:00:03,079 Previously on... Arrested Development 2 00:00:03,143 --> 00:00:06,301 Michael and his son were camping out at the family cabin 3 00:00:06,356 --> 00:00:08,273 before it was to be relocated. 4 00:00:08,345 --> 00:00:10,412 I'm just in the middle of a stupid girl problem, that's all. 5 00:00:10,463 --> 00:00:13,510 I don't even have a girl much less a stupid one. 6 00:00:13,571 --> 00:00:15,609 No, the problem is stupid, the girl isn't stupid. 7 00:00:15,676 --> 00:00:17,991 But if they ever had a child, it would be. 8 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,278 Because the girl was his cousin Maeby. 9 00:00:20,335 --> 00:00:23,509 Tomorrow morning, before we tell the cops that that's not Pop-Pop in prison, 10 00:00:23,561 --> 00:00:25,559 we're going to go down to the lake, we're going to discuss 11 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,929 your girl problem man-to-man and it's going to be fun. 12 00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:29,939 Especially the part about the cops. 13 00:00:30,019 --> 00:00:32,204 But Pop-Pop had other plans. 14 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:37,688 And Michael awoke to find his camping trip going south. 15 00:00:38,373 --> 00:00:40,991 Well, you better get up now if you want to see the lake. 16 00:00:42,174 --> 00:00:45,613 And that when George Sr. made a desperate plea. 17 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,931 Promise me you won't send me back to prison. 18 00:00:49,003 --> 00:00:51,312 So I can be with my dear love Lucille. 19 00:00:51,670 --> 00:00:53,651 In the twilight of her face. 20 00:00:53,733 --> 00:00:56,662 Michael didn't send his father back to prison... 21 00:00:56,734 --> 00:01:00,298 But instead arranged for him to be placed under house arrest... 22 00:01:00,363 --> 00:01:03,902 George, we're never going to be out of each other's sight! 23 00:01:03,969 --> 00:01:06,801 ...which made this woman his warden. 24 00:01:06,893 --> 00:01:08,722 Oh, dear God. 25 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:11,280 Send me back to prison. You got to send me back to prison. 26 00:01:11,337 --> 00:01:12,494 More touching! 27 00:01:16,917 --> 00:01:21,997 Michael went to his parents' penthouse to discuss his father's ever worsening legal situation. 28 00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:22,979 Where is everybody? 29 00:01:23,052 --> 00:01:24,249 How should I know, Michael? 30 00:01:24,316 --> 00:01:27,123 As soon as Father came back, I've been like the invisible man. 31 00:01:27,198 --> 00:01:29,969 Hello? Can anyone see me? 32 00:01:30,075 --> 00:01:31,284 Where's your hand, anyway? 33 00:01:31,346 --> 00:01:33,045 Why even bother getting dressed up? 34 00:01:33,106 --> 00:01:34,101 I have no one. 35 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,425 What? Buster, come on now, you know, if you're really lonely, 36 00:01:36,466 --> 00:01:40,028 maybe it's time you went out there and you got yourself a girlf.. 37 00:01:40,137 --> 00:01:40,962 a pet. 38 00:01:41,027 --> 00:01:42,165 How about a turtle? 39 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:42,784 Great. 40 00:01:42,855 --> 00:01:45,514 I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. 41 00:01:46,762 --> 00:01:48,231 Certainly have a type. 42 00:01:49,522 --> 00:01:50,909 Mother, have you seen my rubber hand? 43 00:01:50,965 --> 00:01:52,282 Oh, it's in the dishwasher. 44 00:01:52,343 --> 00:01:54,407 Your father and I were using it for something. 45 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:55,573 Oh, for God's sake. 46 00:01:55,648 --> 00:01:58,113 Can't you keep my hand to yourself?! 47 00:01:58,251 --> 00:01:59,864 Huh... used it for something? 48 00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:03,224 He's just jealous that I have a man back in my life. 49 00:02:03,325 --> 00:02:06,034 And guess what else is back? 50 00:02:07,535 --> 00:02:09,070 My breakfast? 51 00:02:09,352 --> 00:02:11,129 My friskiness. 52 00:02:11,251 --> 00:02:13,013 Mama horny, Michael. 53 00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:15,173 No it's my breakfast. 54 00:02:15,256 --> 00:02:18,276 I'm amazed Dad hasn't strangled himself with his belt yet. 55 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,375 Oh, we're into all kinds of freaky stuff. 56 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,299 Why don't eat breakfast before I come here? 57 00:02:24,717 --> 00:02:27,052 What the hell is this?! 58 00:02:27,139 --> 00:02:30,830 Well, now that Dad's back, I'm going to perform one grand illusion for him 59 00:02:30,870 --> 00:02:33,237 before he strangles himself with his belt. 60 00:02:33,312 --> 00:02:34,660 No, no, turns out, they're into that. 61 00:02:34,732 --> 00:02:35,516 Oh. 62 00:02:35,607 --> 00:02:36,642 Well, check it. 63 00:02:36,964 --> 00:02:39,108 The illusion is called "Free Bird". 64 00:02:39,386 --> 00:02:41,480 A magical bird-- me in a beak-- 65 00:02:41,542 --> 00:02:42,873 stands on a platform. 66 00:02:42,943 --> 00:02:45,320 There's a puff of smoke, and I'm gone. 67 00:02:45,406 --> 00:02:48,587 Then seconds later, high above in a once-empty cage... 68 00:02:48,664 --> 00:02:49,488 who should appear? 69 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,797 - A guy that kind of looks like you? - No. 70 00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:53,799 That's not how I do the trick. 71 00:02:54,224 --> 00:02:55,443 Even it was, 72 00:02:55,858 --> 00:02:57,185 how'd the look-alike get up there? 73 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:58,986 - He was hiding behind this mirror here? - No! 74 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,206 For your information, Dad asked me to do this 75 00:03:02,263 --> 00:03:05,791 on the day he pleads not guilty as a spectacular protest. 76 00:03:06,006 --> 00:03:08,698 A protestacular. 77 00:03:08,765 --> 00:03:10,753 Maybe even get it on the local news. 78 00:03:10,809 --> 00:03:11,709 Excuse me. 79 00:03:11,985 --> 00:03:13,818 I was just looking for a marker. 80 00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:16,595 A Magic Marker. 81 00:03:17,034 --> 00:03:20,046 I want it out of my living room. Put it in Buster's room. 82 00:03:20,229 --> 00:03:22,646 That's where she keeps things she has no need for. 83 00:03:23,439 --> 00:03:24,494 Oh, God. 84 00:03:24,970 --> 00:03:27,433 I'm going to run this trough again on "pots and pans" 85 00:03:27,515 --> 00:03:31,007 You know, Gob, instead of trying to impress a father that couldn't care less about you, 86 00:03:31,062 --> 00:03:34,713 why don't try spending some time with your son who's dying to reconnect with you? 87 00:03:34,774 --> 00:03:37,914 Gob had discovered he was the father of this boy. 88 00:03:37,965 --> 00:03:40,843 Then just tell him that Steve Hold stopped by okay? 89 00:03:40,909 --> 00:03:41,231 Okay. 90 00:03:41,309 --> 00:03:43,121 He'd been ducking him ever since. 91 00:03:43,689 --> 00:03:45,477 Tom... Come on over here. 92 00:03:45,548 --> 00:03:46,797 I've got a vitamine for you. 93 00:03:46,863 --> 00:03:48,471 Hey, he's the one who can't see me. 94 00:03:48,544 --> 00:03:49,890 'Cause we were hiding in the trick? 95 00:03:49,967 --> 00:03:52,982 Illusion, Michael. 96 00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:56,976 I so very much would like to be in your protestacular. 97 00:03:57,089 --> 00:03:59,136 As your look-alike. 98 00:03:59,715 --> 00:04:01,896 Right. They're going to see the ink. 99 00:04:01,977 --> 00:04:05,689 It's more of a leading man role. But it's *** dye that way. 100 00:04:05,868 --> 00:04:09,352 I guess I shouldn't have used a permanent... marker. 101 00:04:10,974 --> 00:04:12,939 Start to see why you want that divorce. 102 00:04:13,323 --> 00:04:15,716 Yeah... Well actually, I've been thinking. 103 00:04:15,781 --> 00:04:19,243 Instead of spending money on a divorce which can be slow. 104 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,455 No. Maybe I should get something faster? 105 00:04:21,536 --> 00:04:23,171 Not the car. I said no to the Volvo. 106 00:04:23,246 --> 00:04:26,929 The Lexus. The Volvo didn't have satellite radio, which is crazy. 107 00:04:26,989 --> 00:04:28,137 I mean... What are we? Amish? 108 00:04:28,198 --> 00:04:30,122 I knew you wouldn't have the gut to go through with the divorce. 109 00:04:30,184 --> 00:04:33,226 You want to talk? You haven't had a serious relationship since your wife. 110 00:04:33,302 --> 00:04:37,444 And you guys, weren't even speaking toward the end. 111 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:38,848 Lot of that was the coma. 112 00:04:38,924 --> 00:04:41,004 Yeah I've heard your side of it. 113 00:04:41,397 --> 00:04:43,302 You haven't got the guts to meet someone else. 114 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:46,507 Look who finally got his pants on... 115 00:04:47,757 --> 00:04:49,231 You've got ten minutes. 116 00:04:49,691 --> 00:04:51,674 You got to get me out of here. 117 00:04:51,801 --> 00:04:53,532 You're the one that said no to prison. 118 00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:56,558 I was wrong. There, you just have it to shut your eyes and take it. 119 00:04:56,603 --> 00:04:58,202 Here, you have shut your eyes and give it. 120 00:04:58,258 --> 00:05:01,038 Now, listen, we can't go in there and plead "not guilty". 121 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:04,642 We have to have someone big behind us, our own private Matlock. 122 00:05:04,697 --> 00:05:06,557 So I made calls and I got him. 123 00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:07,387 Got who? 124 00:05:07,452 --> 00:05:08,784 Andy Griffith. 125 00:05:08,866 --> 00:05:09,935 What, you never saw Matlock? 126 00:05:09,998 --> 00:05:11,538 Not a real attorney, Dad. 127 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:17,545 Now, for ten grand, he'll actually sit behind us in court and read the paper. 128 00:05:17,595 --> 00:05:20,233 For $15,000, he'll actually sit at the defense table. 129 00:05:20,324 --> 00:05:24,461 For $20,000, he'll twice lean forward 130 00:05:24,527 --> 00:05:27,002 and whisper something in your ear. 131 00:05:27,734 --> 00:05:29,936 Oh. White suit, that's extra. 132 00:05:30,022 --> 00:05:32,874 Boy, that's an awful lot of money for the stupidest idea I've ever heard. 133 00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:34,937 The juries love him. 134 00:05:35,014 --> 00:05:39,096 That's just it, Dad. There won't be a jury because we are pleading guilty. 135 00:05:39,177 --> 00:05:40,324 I am not guil... 136 00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:42,705 All right, I didn't want to tell you this. 137 00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:44,460 Are you ready for the bombshell? 138 00:05:44,559 --> 00:05:45,976 Andy Griffith wasn't the bombshell? 139 00:05:46,037 --> 00:05:47,010 I'm a patsy. 140 00:05:47,087 --> 00:05:48,194 I was set up. 141 00:05:48,266 --> 00:05:49,673 By the Brits. 142 00:05:49,796 --> 00:05:53,242 A group of British builders operating outside the O.C... 143 00:05:53,308 --> 00:05:53,917 Don't call it that. 144 00:05:54,010 --> 00:05:57,507 ...contacted me for a partnership to build homes overseas. 145 00:05:57,567 --> 00:06:00,030 I did not know they meant Iraq. 146 00:06:00,097 --> 00:06:02,423 We've got a picture of you with Saddam Hussein. 147 00:06:03,276 --> 00:06:05,488 I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi. 148 00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:08,166 - Come on. - I told him how much I liked his work. 149 00:06:08,270 --> 00:06:10,987 Anyway, the Brits used that picture to blackmail me. 150 00:06:11,039 --> 00:06:13,701 A picture like that, Michael, can end your career. 151 00:06:13,769 --> 00:06:15,193 Not in every case. 152 00:06:16,078 --> 00:06:17,618 These are dangerous people, Michael. 153 00:06:17,664 --> 00:06:21,018 They'll do whatever it takes to get inside this family and just bring us down. 154 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,083 British people? 155 00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:27,080 Oh, they're polite and the men all sound gay, but they will rip out your heart. 156 00:06:27,132 --> 00:06:29,205 And their breath... 157 00:06:29,262 --> 00:06:30,618 And you want to go after these people? 158 00:06:30,675 --> 00:06:32,942 Well, yes, it takes a little courage, Michael. 159 00:06:33,239 --> 00:06:35,140 I know that's not your strongest suit. 160 00:06:35,206 --> 00:06:38,692 You're even scared to ask a girl out on a date. 161 00:06:38,757 --> 00:06:41,488 What? Why does everybody think that I'm scared of girls? 162 00:06:41,545 --> 00:06:42,604 Because you're a chicken. 163 00:06:42,671 --> 00:06:43,664 You're a chicken! 164 00:06:43,726 --> 00:06:45,036 Coo-coo ca-cha! 165 00:06:45,241 --> 00:06:46,685 Coo-coo ca-cha! 166 00:06:47,143 --> 00:06:48,247 What are you doing? 167 00:06:48,318 --> 00:06:51,473 Michael and women?! A-koodle-doodle doo! 168 00:06:51,509 --> 00:06:54,062 That's what I was just telling him. Cha! Cha! 169 00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:56,940 Look, I haven't found the right girl. When I do, I will ask her out. 170 00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:59,695 Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken? 171 00:07:00,110 --> 00:07:01,953 Wait, wait, wait! I got the perfect thing! 172 00:07:02,558 --> 00:07:04,004 That's enough. 173 00:07:04,308 --> 00:07:08,101 I will give it one day, all right? I'll see if there's any evidence of these nefarious Brits, 174 00:07:08,143 --> 00:07:10,713 but I'm warning you, if I can't, we're pleading guilty, 175 00:07:10,759 --> 00:07:14,216 and you're either going back to jail or if the judge shows absolutely no mercy at all, 176 00:07:14,262 --> 00:07:15,848 you'll be staying here with my mother. 177 00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:19,607 Lindsay, didn't want to tell you earlier, but I did get you a car. 178 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:20,855 Is it a Lexus? 179 00:07:20,922 --> 00:07:21,987 It's more like a Lincoln. 180 00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:25,858 Cock-a-caw! Cock-a-caw! Cock-a-caw! 181 00:07:30,432 --> 00:07:32,095 Oh, come on! 182 00:07:32,729 --> 00:07:35,852 There's no satellite radio, but there's a banjo in the closet. 183 00:07:35,950 --> 00:07:38,095 And watch out for live-ins. 184 00:07:38,178 --> 00:07:39,708 You will get some live-ins. 185 00:07:46,476 --> 00:07:51,774 Michael was investigating his father's case in the English section of Orange County. 186 00:07:51,831 --> 00:07:53,603 Lanes reverse, mate! 187 00:07:53,737 --> 00:07:56,645 You're driving on the wrong side, you blooming idiot! 188 00:07:56,747 --> 00:08:00,421 I need to check the records for any British-owned building businesses 189 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,040 that would've applied for a license about ten years ago. 190 00:08:03,099 --> 00:08:04,515 Oh, I'm so sorry. 191 00:08:04,576 --> 00:08:07,715 You'll need a UK passport to check those files. 192 00:08:07,848 --> 00:08:10,766 They're for British eyes only. 193 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,273 Don't I look kind of British? 194 00:08:14,396 --> 00:08:16,388 Perhaps if you're willing to lose 20 pounds. 195 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:20,674 The clerk was asking for a bribe, but this was lost on Michael. 196 00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:22,374 Well, you guys do go for the jugular. 197 00:08:22,434 --> 00:08:24,842 If you find someone with a passport, we're here 'til 8:00. 198 00:08:24,896 --> 00:08:26,438 And do stay for the Poppuns. 199 00:08:27,079 --> 00:08:29,228 So Michael went to the local pub... 200 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,263 Bloody Yank! 201 00:08:30,329 --> 00:08:33,120 ...to see if he could find someone with a British passport. 202 00:08:33,201 --> 00:08:37,299 Welcome to the Yellowfang. I am Lionel, and the soup of the day is... 203 00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:39,321 What's the soup of the day, Mum?! 204 00:08:39,387 --> 00:08:40,144 Bread. 205 00:08:40,217 --> 00:08:42,725 And the soup of the day is bread. 206 00:08:42,807 --> 00:08:44,692 Unless you're just here for the Poppuns. 207 00:08:44,748 --> 00:08:48,803 And that's when Michael saw the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. 208 00:08:49,179 --> 00:08:50,258 Not her. 209 00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:51,987 Wait for it... 210 00:08:58,863 --> 00:09:01,280 Are you from Wee Britain? 211 00:09:01,347 --> 00:09:03,108 Great Britain, actually. 212 00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:06,635 I was wondering if you might be willing to go somewhere with me. 213 00:09:06,702 --> 00:09:08,156 I would pay you. 214 00:09:08,699 --> 00:09:09,559 You'll pay me? 215 00:09:09,626 --> 00:09:10,532 Not... 216 00:09:11,077 --> 00:09:13,696 Not for sex. You're going to think that I'm Jack the Ripper, right? 217 00:09:13,757 --> 00:09:15,667 Didn't he kill prostitutes or...? 218 00:09:15,745 --> 00:09:17,188 I'm not a prostitute. 219 00:09:17,255 --> 00:09:18,950 Then I shall let you live. 220 00:09:20,296 --> 00:09:21,930 This is my worst hello. 221 00:09:22,032 --> 00:09:23,210 Let me try again. 222 00:09:23,408 --> 00:09:24,422 My name is Michael. 223 00:09:24,505 --> 00:09:25,488 Rita. 224 00:09:25,785 --> 00:09:30,280 I need access to these files that are apparently for British eyes only. 225 00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:34,663 Well, lucky for you, my whole face is British. 226 00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,275 It's just across the street here. I really appreciate... 227 00:09:40,336 --> 00:09:41,965 Hello.I thought you said you were open 'til 8:00. 228 00:09:42,046 --> 00:09:46,106 Oh, yes, GMT. Everything here is on Greenwich Mean Time. 229 00:09:46,593 --> 00:09:48,379 What a curious street. 230 00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:52,900 Rita... I don't suppose that you're here tomorrow morning? 231 00:09:52,976 --> 00:09:54,417 Oh, no, not in the morning, no. 232 00:09:54,488 --> 00:09:56,122 I'll be back at Slowbrooke. 233 00:09:56,198 --> 00:09:59,060 Slowbrooke. The private school? Oh, you teach kids, huh? 234 00:09:59,134 --> 00:10:00,851 I like to think they teach me. 235 00:10:00,929 --> 00:10:03,080 Like what, how to eat crayons, throw tantrums... 236 00:10:03,218 --> 00:10:04,810 Oh, no, not when I'm there. 237 00:10:04,948 --> 00:10:06,361 I'm very good. 238 00:10:06,424 --> 00:10:10,539 I-I didn't mean to, uh, impugn your ability, or, uh... 239 00:10:11,025 --> 00:10:13,483 It's turning into one of my worst good-byes. 240 00:10:13,581 --> 00:10:18,936 Farewell, and, uh... our paths shan't cross again. 241 00:10:19,934 --> 00:10:21,128 As you like it. 242 00:10:21,199 --> 00:10:22,817 Michael would have walked away forever, 243 00:10:22,878 --> 00:10:25,730 but he was struck by something he remembered from his childhood. 244 00:10:25,776 --> 00:10:26,529 You know... 245 00:10:31,734 --> 00:10:34,071 Well... must be the Poppuns. 246 00:10:34,444 --> 00:10:36,918 Oh, I'm sorry. It's wrong to laugh. 247 00:10:36,989 --> 00:10:38,827 No, no, no, it's good. I liked it. 248 00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:41,463 It's just, I was going to ask you, preschools just go half-day, right? 249 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:44,695 And I'm not... I'm not trying to pick you up, but is there any way that I can... 250 00:10:44,741 --> 00:10:47,234 I can come by, pick you up, bring you here? 251 00:10:47,306 --> 00:10:48,638 Yeah, I-I, um... 252 00:10:48,709 --> 00:10:51,822 I suppose I could... sneak out at nap time. 253 00:10:51,925 --> 00:10:53,681 Yes? Perfect. Great. 254 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:56,850 And I shall drop you off alive, hooker or no. 255 00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:02,012 Tobias, still hoping to be in Gob's trick, 256 00:11:02,083 --> 00:11:04,924 ventured into a costume shop he'd stumbled upon... 257 00:11:05,068 --> 00:11:06,403 Oh! Look who's back. 258 00:11:06,470 --> 00:11:07,391 ...years earlier. 259 00:11:07,469 --> 00:11:09,803 Are you going to buy this time, or you just curious? 260 00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:12,656 I suppose I'm, uh... buy-curious. 261 00:11:12,789 --> 00:11:14,320 I have a big TV opportunity. 262 00:11:14,396 --> 00:11:16,762 This is where all the big TV's come. 263 00:11:17,085 --> 00:11:19,204 Uh, let's startwith the Eve Arden. 264 00:11:19,297 --> 00:11:20,151 All right. 265 00:11:20,361 --> 00:11:22,516 Michael, meanwhile, called his sister. 266 00:11:22,609 --> 00:11:26,454 I wanted to call and tell you that I got myself a date with a beautiful woman 267 00:11:26,515 --> 00:11:29,817 named Rita, and you're the chicken, not me. 268 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,019 Cluck-cluck-cluck-cluck... 269 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:36,044 Okay, that's a pretty good chicken. 270 00:11:48,784 --> 00:11:49,622 Watch out! 271 00:11:50,114 --> 00:11:51,317 Crazy Brit! 272 00:11:53,328 --> 00:11:54,476 What's the problem? 273 00:11:54,564 --> 00:11:56,360 I know what you were doing back there. 274 00:11:56,468 --> 00:11:59,836 If you've got half a ( bleep ) brain, you'll leave it alone. 275 00:12:00,130 --> 00:12:02,648 You talking about back in Wee Britain? I was just asking a few questions. 276 00:12:02,724 --> 00:12:04,583 Yeah, a few too many, if you ask me. 277 00:12:04,659 --> 00:12:08,058 How would you like someone going after some stupid person in your family? 278 00:12:08,116 --> 00:12:10,460 Now, back off, you ( bleep ) ponce! 279 00:12:13,705 --> 00:12:14,660 Wow! 280 00:12:15,681 --> 00:12:17,793 Dad was not kidding about their breath. 281 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:23,711 Michael had just been threatened by a foul-mouthed British man. 282 00:12:23,931 --> 00:12:25,518 It's Michael. I'm not dressed. 283 00:12:25,586 --> 00:12:27,332 Gob, this is Michael. 284 00:12:28,018 --> 00:12:30,813 Shouldn't you be getting ready for your "Free Bird" trick? 285 00:12:30,936 --> 00:12:32,511 I couldn't get the rights to "Free Bird." 286 00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:35,887 I'm thinking about calling it "Free..." I don't know, "Chicken." 287 00:12:36,148 --> 00:12:38,636 I thought you were investigating Dad's sinister British connection. 288 00:12:38,984 --> 00:12:42,302 Yeah, I tried, but... but when I was leaving, 289 00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:45,841 one of those British guys came after me and told me to back off. 290 00:12:45,906 --> 00:12:48,765 Can't believe it, but Dad may have been telling the truth. This might be dangerous. 291 00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:50,704 So you came back here to hide like a child. 292 00:12:50,765 --> 00:12:52,630 What are you doing locked in my office, exactly? 293 00:12:52,726 --> 00:12:54,340 Hiding from a child. 294 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:55,363 Big difference. 295 00:12:55,431 --> 00:12:57,770 Gob, Steve Holt is your son. He probably just feels a connection. 296 00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,305 He doesn't know what he feels! 297 00:12:59,374 --> 00:13:01,103 I'm tired of being told... 298 00:13:02,731 --> 00:13:05,859 My God, what is this feeling? 299 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,826 Well, you know the-the feeling that you're... 300 00:13:07,882 --> 00:13:11,514 that you're feeling is-is what many of us call "a feeling." 301 00:13:11,599 --> 00:13:14,436 But it's not like envy, or even hungry. 302 00:13:14,672 --> 00:13:16,032 Could it be love? 303 00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,731 I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. 304 00:13:18,788 --> 00:13:21,815 It's... it's like my heart is getting hard. 305 00:13:23,488 --> 00:13:25,583 Maybe I am ready to be a father. 306 00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:26,489 Hey, Dad? 307 00:13:27,692 --> 00:13:29,182 It's my son, Gob. 308 00:13:29,263 --> 00:13:33,299 What is it with the fathers in this family? Always trying to deceive their... 309 00:13:33,386 --> 00:13:38,976 And that's when Michael realized that the man who threatened him must have been hired by George Sr. 310 00:13:39,054 --> 00:13:40,597 I'm the patsy. 311 00:13:41,634 --> 00:13:42,981 Well, I got to go. 312 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,768 George Michael, I'm sorry, but we're going to talk about that girl later, okay? 313 00:13:46,831 --> 00:13:48,642 Now all I have to do is find that look-alike, Michael. 314 00:13:48,721 --> 00:13:49,898 Michael... 315 00:13:52,110 --> 00:13:53,574 Hey! 316 00:13:55,765 --> 00:13:57,116 That's a woman's wig. 317 00:13:57,562 --> 00:13:59,775 I was told it was a "Bob." 318 00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,845 And Michael confronted his father. 319 00:14:03,928 --> 00:14:04,894 Find out anything? 320 00:14:04,971 --> 00:14:07,352 Yeah, I did, Dad. I found out that no matter how many times I promise myself 321 00:14:07,409 --> 00:14:09,891 that I'm not going to fall for it, I always end up getting hustled by you. 322 00:14:09,959 --> 00:14:10,921 What are you talking about? 323 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,900 The guy that you hired to threaten me after I looked into the British connection. 324 00:14:13,963 --> 00:14:15,867 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Somebody threatened you? 325 00:14:15,932 --> 00:14:18,002 That's a wonderful performance, Dad. You're a regular Brad Garrett. 326 00:14:18,043 --> 00:14:21,845 But I don't watch TV at 3:00 in the afternoon. And you can forget about pleading not guilty. 327 00:14:21,899 --> 00:14:23,408 Guilty, we got to plead guilty. 328 00:14:23,474 --> 00:14:23,885 What? 329 00:14:23,951 --> 00:14:27,162 Michael, I didn't hire anyone. I-I-I swear. 330 00:14:27,219 --> 00:14:29,798 If someone came after you, they're for real. 331 00:14:29,859 --> 00:14:30,648 Come on, you're serious? 332 00:14:30,715 --> 00:14:32,717 I told you, these are bad guys. 333 00:14:32,783 --> 00:14:35,323 They do not want this information out. 334 00:14:35,384 --> 00:14:38,861 He said that he was going to come after somebody stupid in our family-- that could be Buster. 335 00:14:39,352 --> 00:14:40,724 Could be Gob. 336 00:14:40,996 --> 00:14:42,295 You're not guilty. 337 00:14:42,419 --> 00:14:43,505 We have to plead guilty. 338 00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:44,524 We've got to plead guilty. 339 00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:46,689 We've got to throw ourselves on the mercy of the court. 340 00:14:46,971 --> 00:14:49,449 - We got to get Andy Griffith. - Andy Griffith in the suit. 341 00:14:50,013 --> 00:14:52,720 And Michael went to cancel with Rita. 342 00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:57,176 Sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to be needing your passport, after all. 343 00:14:57,242 --> 00:14:59,377 We're just going to go to court, plead guilty-- that'll be that. 344 00:14:59,459 --> 00:15:01,410 So it's bye-bye to Rita, then? 345 00:15:01,491 --> 00:15:06,046 Actually, I was wondering if-if you might want to... 346 00:15:06,501 --> 00:15:07,973 I wouldn't. 347 00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:09,960 I'll make you blue. 348 00:15:10,113 --> 00:15:12,985 Rita was just talking about the fingerpaint, 349 00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:14,737 but Michael didn't know that. 350 00:15:14,829 --> 00:15:20,096 I was just wondering if you might want to bid me fair 'morrow. 351 00:15:20,721 --> 00:15:21,976 That's all. See ya. 352 00:15:22,039 --> 00:15:23,993 Michael was filled with self-loathing. 353 00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:29,457 Had he been Jack the Ripper he would have soothed himself in a most unsavory way. 354 00:15:29,871 --> 00:15:35,049 But instead, he just sat in his car and ate a whole thing of candy beans. 355 00:15:35,447 --> 00:15:39,723 And back at the penthouse, Gob had been called to see his father. 356 00:15:39,789 --> 00:15:42,850 It's a new plan, right? You put me in the trick. 357 00:15:42,917 --> 00:15:44,387 You make me the guy in the cage. 358 00:15:44,459 --> 00:15:46,808 Okay, I just got to say I'm really blown away by this. 359 00:15:47,228 --> 00:15:50,162 You really want to be part of my world. 360 00:15:50,246 --> 00:15:50,986 I do. 361 00:15:51,145 --> 00:15:54,115 God, I feel like my heart is straining through my shirt. 362 00:15:54,182 --> 00:15:56,849 They take the ankle monitor off when I get to court, 363 00:15:56,905 --> 00:15:59,798 so you make me disappear, you put Tobias in the cage-- 364 00:15:59,865 --> 00:16:02,972 and by the time they realize that that guy is not me, 365 00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:05,620 I'm running through the storm drains to freedom. 366 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,011 Where every day it rains... 367 00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:10,880 pennies from heaven. 368 00:16:14,943 --> 00:16:17,723 It was... "bird" today... 369 00:16:17,780 --> 00:16:21,083 Gob, I know you're looking for a twin for your illusion, 370 00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,483 and there's somebody I'd like to put in a plug for. 371 00:16:23,675 --> 00:16:27,513 Uh, correction-- make that 4,000 plugs. 372 00:16:27,637 --> 00:16:29,228 - Oh, God. - Oh, come on! 373 00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:31,363 Meestagay , he's bleeding! Meestagay...! 374 00:16:31,445 --> 00:16:36,577 No, no, no, no. I-I was scared too, but I realized it was of being a leading man. 375 00:16:36,646 --> 00:16:39,873 Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth. 376 00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:43,442 All right, listen to me, the trick has changed. We want you to play me now. 377 00:16:43,513 --> 00:16:45,997 Oh, but that would mean I'd have to sh... 378 00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:50,213 shave my very tender head. I see, okay. 379 00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:54,999 Well, perhaps I jumped the gun on those new head shots. 380 00:16:56,074 --> 00:16:58,998 And later that day, Michael arrived at the courthouse. 381 00:16:59,069 --> 00:17:01,296 I can't believe you're just giving up like this. 382 00:17:01,379 --> 00:17:03,522 The guy threatened our family. We have to plead guilty. 383 00:17:03,574 --> 00:17:05,601 No, I'm talking about that girl you said you had a date with. 384 00:17:05,668 --> 00:17:07,813 All right, so I lied-- it wasn't a date. 385 00:17:07,910 --> 00:17:09,221 But you could have made one with her. 386 00:17:09,293 --> 00:17:11,356 I think that Poppuns knocked the courage out of you. 387 00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:13,000 I guess I'm just not in her league. 388 00:17:13,143 --> 00:17:14,766 How did you hear about the Poppuns? 389 00:17:14,853 --> 00:17:15,843 It was on the news. 390 00:17:15,949 --> 00:17:19,277 An unlicensed Mary Poppuns takes down another tourist. 391 00:17:19,369 --> 00:17:23,169 Is this the work of the Itsy-Bitsy IRA? 392 00:17:23,296 --> 00:17:26,221 I don't want to talk about this right now. Dad, we're going to go in there-- 393 00:17:26,297 --> 00:17:29,426 Andy Griffith's going to whisper something, we're going to plead guilty, nice and simple. 394 00:17:29,497 --> 00:17:31,377 You didn't hear, we lost Andy. 395 00:17:31,436 --> 00:17:32,241 What? What are you talking about? 396 00:17:32,308 --> 00:17:33,433 He didn't like his trailer. 397 00:17:33,526 --> 00:17:35,185 He thought we were making fun of him. 398 00:17:35,261 --> 00:17:37,628 No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. 399 00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:40,148 I can't emphasize that enough. 400 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:45,420 Oh, God, don't look now, but Gob's doing his magic show. 401 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:49,261 Oh, boy, a stupid magic show. We got to watch this. 402 00:17:49,352 --> 00:17:50,678 A big turnout. 403 00:17:50,858 --> 00:17:53,136 I think a lot of people are probably here for the free chicken. 404 00:17:53,224 --> 00:17:55,082 Gather 'round, humans... 405 00:17:55,211 --> 00:17:59,128 and I will show you the plight of an innocent man who yearns to be 406 00:17:59,249 --> 00:18:02,993 free... as a bird! 407 00:18:04,237 --> 00:18:06,392 I've got to start labeling these suits. 408 00:18:06,514 --> 00:18:11,709 Who shall I send on this journey to that dangling cage? 409 00:18:11,773 --> 00:18:13,525 Oh, pick me. Oh! 410 00:18:13,621 --> 00:18:16,039 Look, can I be in his stupid trick? Please? 411 00:18:16,110 --> 00:18:17,846 Steve Holt, what are you doing here? 412 00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:20,886 I just came to see the magic show. 413 00:18:20,968 --> 00:18:22,187 I didn't know it was you. 414 00:18:22,264 --> 00:18:23,633 Do you like magic? 415 00:18:23,785 --> 00:18:24,916 No. 416 00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:26,463 I love it! 417 00:18:26,529 --> 00:18:30,882 And at that moment, Gob chose to show his own son what he was capable of. 418 00:18:30,995 --> 00:18:35,678 I've decided I will be performing the feat myself! 419 00:18:35,745 --> 00:18:37,456 Wait... we're back to hair? 420 00:18:37,532 --> 00:18:39,513 Fortunately for Tobias, however, 421 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,405 he'd found it too painful to part with his new hair. 422 00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,652 Boy, did I catch a break. 423 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:48,074 So he opted to wear a bald cap. 424 00:18:48,151 --> 00:18:52,927 This chicken shall be wrongly cooped. 425 00:18:56,537 --> 00:18:58,670 What's in his hand? Is that chicken? 426 00:18:58,699 --> 00:19:01,320 Oh, my God! Dad, are you all right? 427 00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:03,491 I fooled his own son. 428 00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:05,892 I am a leading man. 429 00:19:06,383 --> 00:19:09,593 And Gob himself was running through the storm drains, 430 00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:11,887 free as a chicken. 431 00:19:14,191 --> 00:19:17,654 And George Sr. needed to escape, too. 432 00:19:17,725 --> 00:19:18,698 I got him. 433 00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:23,151 Keeps him out of the kitchen. 434 00:19:23,582 --> 00:19:27,217 And Michael, seeing what a life of cowardice leads to, 435 00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,188 decided he'd had enough of it. 436 00:19:29,276 --> 00:19:33,263 And soon, George came to, and it was time to render a plea. 437 00:19:33,356 --> 00:19:36,279 The prosecution's got that stud from LA Law. 438 00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:39,046 I love my trailer. 439 00:19:39,168 --> 00:19:42,419 In the matter the of People v. Bluth, how do you plead? 440 00:19:42,498 --> 00:19:43,673 We plead... 441 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,004 not guilty. 442 00:19:48,276 --> 00:19:50,913 - Michael, what are you doing? - I'm tired of the cowardice. 443 00:19:50,974 --> 00:19:53,550 You're not guilty. We're going to fight this. We've got the truth on our side. 444 00:19:53,611 --> 00:19:55,804 They don't have a ( bleep ) prayer. 445 00:19:57,006 --> 00:19:58,741 Send the check to my accountant. 446 00:19:59,371 --> 00:20:01,629 This is where Andy could have helped us. 447 00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:02,841 Well, I'm proud of you. 448 00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:04,497 It's about time I showed a little courage. 449 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,113 I just hope those Brits aren't as dangerous as Dad says. 450 00:20:07,185 --> 00:20:10,124 Well, they're not going to get any closer to us. If they do, we're going to see them coming. 451 00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:11,317 Oh, my God. 452 00:20:11,516 --> 00:20:12,596 That's Rita. 453 00:20:12,765 --> 00:20:14,793 I told her I was coming here, and she came. 454 00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:17,531 - That's Rita? - Yeah. 455 00:20:19,488 --> 00:20:22,745 Wow. She is way out of his league. 456 00:20:24,363 --> 00:20:26,062 I'm glad you're here. 457 00:20:26,206 --> 00:20:28,658 I want to call you sometime and take you out. 458 00:20:28,888 --> 00:20:32,528 Oh, I'd really like that. 459 00:20:32,956 --> 00:20:33,768 Good. 460 00:20:35,758 --> 00:20:38,909 And then just to prove he wasn't a coward, 461 00:20:38,985 --> 00:20:40,833 he went one step further. 462 00:20:45,051 --> 00:20:48,897 And Rita was happy to be in Michael's life, as well. 463 00:20:50,699 --> 00:20:55,027 For you see, Rita... had a secret of her own. 464 00:21:09,623 --> 00:21:14,549 Transcript: RaceMan - Synchro: Amariss - www.forom.com - 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net