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Subs by: joeshmoe.
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From timings by: bRalph.
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Original subs posted on: subscene.com.
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Warning! Obscene Language Uncensored!
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Song: Bad Man's World
by Jenny Lewis.
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(phone dialing)
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(phone ringing)
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(voice-mail) Hi, you've reached the
office of Dr. Stuart Price.
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00:00:56,111 --> 00:00:58,236
Please note the office will be closed
until the 24th.
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If this is an emergency,
please try...
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00:01:00,683 --> 00:01:02,671
(phone dialing)
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00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:05,279
(phone ringing)
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00:01:05,521 --> 00:01:08,798
(voice-mail) Hi! This is Dr. Stu Price.
I'm getting married.
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So I'll be out of the
country for 2 weeks.
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I'm not sure if I'll
have cell service.
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If this is a dental emergency...
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Nothing.
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00:01:17,348 --> 00:01:22,317
(speaking in Thai)
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Daddy, please! You're not helping!
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I looked into his eyes.
Not the eyes of a man.
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The eyes of a coward.
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(speaking in Thai again)
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Excuse me!
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00:01:42,329 --> 00:01:44,081
- Bill!
- Tracy!
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- I'm sorry!
- Where the hell are you?
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00:01:50,242 --> 00:01:52,510
It happened again!
27
00:01:52,511 --> 00:01:55,256
Don't say that, please!
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00:01:55,257 --> 00:01:57,804
No this time we really fucked up.
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00:01:57,805 --> 00:02:00,693
Seriously! What is wrong with you three?
30
00:02:00,694 --> 00:02:03,846
So much Trace, I don't even know
where to begin.
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00:02:03,847 --> 00:02:06,460
Oh god! How bad?
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00:02:06,461 --> 00:02:11,168
- Like, no wedding bad?
- Yeah...
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00:02:11,169 --> 00:02:13,914
a little worse than that.
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00:02:16,843 --> 00:02:20,911
THE HANGOVER PART II
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00:03:55,817 --> 00:03:57,950
ONE WEEK EARLIER
36
00:03:58,173 --> 00:03:59,664
Uh, huh.
37
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:05,849
- You really need to floss more.
- Fuck that! That's why I come here.
38
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:10,226
- Then you should come more than once every two years!
- Why? So you can bleed me of all my money?
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00:04:10,177 --> 00:04:12,876
I never charge you a dime, Phil!
40
00:04:13,076 --> 00:04:16,010
- Hey, how do I work the nitrous?
- Ah, you don't actually.
41
00:04:16,011 --> 00:04:18,695
Come on! Just one hit!
42
00:04:18,696 --> 00:04:22,419
Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems?
43
00:04:22,420 --> 00:04:26,759
Yeah, actually. You're getting married
in Thailand.
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00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,574
For starters, that's flights for me and Steph.
That's two grand right there.
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00:04:30,575 --> 00:04:34,742
Then my mother in laws watching the kids. So
now she's got this whole new thing over my head.
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00:04:34,743 --> 00:04:36,846
Plus, takes five days to get there.
47
00:04:36,847 --> 00:04:40,485
It's a 16 hour flight. And it's beautiful
when you get there.
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00:04:40,486 --> 00:04:42,980
- Whatever, it's a hassle!
- It is kinda far.
49
00:04:42,981 --> 00:04:45,516
Lauren's been there a week and she's
still jet lagged.
50
00:04:45,517 --> 00:04:48,248
But it's where her parents are from and
it means a lot to them.
51
00:04:48,249 --> 00:04:51,719
Who gives a shit about her parents!
Her dad hates you!
52
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:55,458
He doesn't hate me! He's just never
spoken to me...
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00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:57,095
...I think it's a cultural thing.
54
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,984
Why can't you just get married in Vegas like
you did the last time. It's so much easier.
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00:05:00,021 --> 00:05:02,867
Why can't you just be excited for me?
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00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,236
This is my wedding!
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00:05:10,073 --> 00:05:14,118
- You're really happy, huh?
- I really am.
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Alright...
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...I'm happy too.
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00:05:21,326 --> 00:05:25,179
- Thank you!
- Gonna be fun.
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00:05:27,246 --> 00:05:30,702
Phil. Put the prescription pad back.
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00:05:45,128 --> 00:05:49,625
- Thank you. You know that's a felony right?
- Fuck you, man!
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00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:53,971
- Was this right up against your scrotum?
- Yep.
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00:05:55,915 --> 00:05:58,025
- Oh my god, I just realized.
- What?
65
00:05:58,026 --> 00:06:01,243
- I forgot to renew my passport!
- Oh no...
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00:06:01,244 --> 00:06:04,409
Good thing I did it last week. It's in
the kitchen drawer.
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00:06:05,392 --> 00:06:08,728
- You're the best!
- Hey! We're a team!
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00:06:08,729 --> 00:06:13,361
You're a good guy. Like a really good guy!
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00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,964
Thank you!
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00:06:15,965 --> 00:06:20,371
- So I know you're not gonna get mad.
- Mad? What, mad at what?
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00:06:20,372 --> 00:06:23,942
Alan found out that we're going to
Thailand for Stu's wedding.
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00:06:23,943 --> 00:06:27,586
- So?
- So he's heart broken Doug. You guys are like his family!
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00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:30,653
No. Your family is like his family.
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00:06:30,654 --> 00:06:33,830
All Alan talks about is the three of you.
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00:06:33,831 --> 00:06:35,898
- And that weekend.
- Wait a second...
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00:06:35,899 --> 00:06:40,420
- Is he the one who keeps calling and hanging up?
- He does that when he's upset.
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00:06:40,421 --> 00:06:43,060
He doesn't understand why he's not invited.
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00:06:43,061 --> 00:06:47,768
Could you just run it by Stu? Just run it by him.
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00:06:47,769 --> 00:06:49,948
For me...
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00:06:51,754 --> 00:06:54,199
No fucking way! Absolutely not!
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00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,244
Come on Stu, it's killing him.
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00:06:57,245 --> 00:07:01,292
Honestly, the two of you were barely invited.
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00:07:01,293 --> 00:07:04,220
I get it. I really do. It's just, you know what...
84
00:07:04,221 --> 00:07:06,464
Alan considers you to be one of his best friends.
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00:07:06,465 --> 00:07:08,388
I consider Alan to be insane.
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00:07:08,389 --> 00:07:11,923
Stu, throw him a bone! We've already said he's got to
pay for everything he eats and everything he breaks.
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00:07:11,924 --> 00:07:15,058
You know what. We should see if we can squeeze
the old man to cover the bachelor party.
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00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:17,261
- That's good.
- I'm glad you brought that up.
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00:07:17,263 --> 00:07:21,843
- Because... this is the bachelor party!
- What?
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00:07:21,845 --> 00:07:25,044
- What are you talking about?
- Yeah, it's my bachelor brunch!
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00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:30,420
Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes... a
lap dance from the waitress...
92
00:07:30,421 --> 00:07:35,283
That's bullshit! You can't just skip
out of a bachelor party, Stu.
93
00:07:35,284 --> 00:07:39,107
You see that? That's orange juice with
a napkin on top.
94
00:07:39,108 --> 00:07:41,901
Do you know why? So nobody will refuse me.
95
00:07:41,902 --> 00:07:44,855
Why I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe
at a bachelor party?
96
00:07:44,856 --> 00:07:48,874
- C'mon Stu. Don't you think you're over reacting?
- No, I don't.
97
00:07:49,575 --> 00:07:54,723
I'm still putting the pieces of my broken
psyche back together.
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00:07:55,060 --> 00:08:00,617
And you know what the glue is? Lauren!
I'm not doing anything to screw that up.
99
00:08:00,618 --> 00:08:03,895
- Oh, please. You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us.
- Oh, this'll be good.
100
00:08:03,896 --> 00:08:05,615
Stu, think about it!
101
00:08:05,617 --> 00:08:08,789
You ended up ditching Melissa, and two years later
you met your true soul mate.
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00:08:08,790 --> 00:08:12,098
You take Vegas out of that equation, you
would have married a cunt.
103
00:08:13,936 --> 00:08:16,281
Oh that's ok. I'm allowed to say it. It's
a bachelor party.
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00:08:16,282 --> 00:08:17,877
Drink up everybody.
105
00:08:17,878 --> 00:08:20,896
Oh wait, there's no alcohol! I forgot
we're at a fuckin IHOP!
106
00:08:20,897 --> 00:08:24,158
Well it's my decision and it's final, so...
how bout a toast?
107
00:08:24,159 --> 00:08:26,654
This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car.
108
00:08:26,655 --> 00:08:29,214
- C'mon Phil, where you going?
- Doug, Doug, I just don't get it!
109
00:08:29,215 --> 00:08:32,339
He's getting married in Thailand! That's
great for him, but what about us?
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00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:36,055
You're selfish! Come on, sweetheart...
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00:08:36,959 --> 00:08:38,970
Shame on you!
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00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:44,359
Don't worry Stu. I will stand up for you
no matter what.
113
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,643
Thank you.
114
00:08:45,644 --> 00:08:49,027
But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing.
115
00:08:50,974 --> 00:08:53,526
Guys, I can't tell you how much this means...
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00:08:53,527 --> 00:08:57,104
Alan's been waiting for the invite ever
since he got word of the wedding.
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00:08:57,105 --> 00:08:58,515
- I'm sure he has.
- Yeah.
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00:08:58,516 --> 00:09:01,774
Been standing outside by the mailbox every day.
119
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,359
- Well that's tough.
- Yeah.
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00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:08,027
I uh, I'm not sure he ever left Vegas.
121
00:09:08,227 --> 00:09:10,455
He really needs this.
122
00:09:11,612 --> 00:09:12,943
What?
123
00:09:13,503 --> 00:09:17,672
Sweetie, papa! You have visitors!
Go in slowly.
124
00:09:17,673 --> 00:09:20,493
Give him a chance to acclimate.
125
00:09:23,033 --> 00:09:27,575
- Hey, Alan!
- Hey, guys! Hey, Phil!
126
00:09:27,576 --> 00:09:29,473
Hey, bud!
127
00:09:31,121 --> 00:09:34,639
- You guys wanna come in?
- Sure. Absolutely.
128
00:09:37,801 --> 00:09:39,092
- Hey.
- Hey.
129
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:43,718
- Hey, Stu!
- Ok. See you on the court in half...
130
00:09:45,681 --> 00:09:49,850
- Pretty cool room, Alan!
- Thanks, Phil! My dad pays my rent.
131
00:09:49,851 --> 00:09:53,627
Alan, what the fuck! You were supposed
to delete these!
132
00:09:53,628 --> 00:09:55,561
You made a promise!
133
00:09:55,586 --> 00:09:56,778
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
134
00:09:57,089 --> 00:10:01,417
What the hell? I'm not cool with this
at all. You can't have these.
135
00:10:02,243 --> 00:10:04,335
Relax, Stu! Nobody ever comes in here.
136
00:10:04,336 --> 00:10:08,898
- A total violation of trust!
- Mother I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here!
137
00:10:09,785 --> 00:10:11,802
I'm sorry, honey. I'll be right up.
138
00:10:11,803 --> 00:10:14,852
- I can't believe you guys stopped by. This is really cool.
- Wait a second!
139
00:10:14,853 --> 00:10:18,448
- Al, is that Mr. Chow?
- Yeah. We still keep in touch.
140
00:10:18,449 --> 00:10:19,542
Stu!
141
00:10:19,543 --> 00:10:22,042
Chow, the guy that kidnapped us?
142
00:10:22,142 --> 00:10:24,036
He didn't kidnap us. He kidnapped Black Doug.
143
00:10:24,136 --> 00:10:25,626
Remember? It was a whole big misunderstanding.
144
00:10:26,124 --> 00:10:28,134
He's actually quite charming.
145
00:10:28,135 --> 00:10:31,315
- Alan, he's a criminal.
- Excuse me, boys!
146
00:10:31,316 --> 00:10:33,184
- Hi, Linda!
- Hi, Dougie!
147
00:10:33,185 --> 00:10:35,618
I guess we don't do desert anymore. I
didn't get that memo.
148
00:10:35,619 --> 00:10:38,731
I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back.
149
00:10:38,732 --> 00:10:41,264
Would a cupcake kill you?
150
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:45,424
- You know, I don't think this was a good idea.
- Alan, we have a little surprise for you.
151
00:10:45,425 --> 00:10:48,510
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
152
00:10:48,512 --> 00:10:52,489
- Well only if you're not busy.
- Stu!
153
00:10:52,490 --> 00:10:55,046
Well maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town.
154
00:10:55,047 --> 00:10:57,937
Nope. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend.
155
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:04,224
Are you really being serious, Stu?
You're inviting me?
156
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:11,563
Yeah why not? It's gonna be fun, right?
157
00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:15,127
- Phil, are you going?
- Of course!
158
00:11:16,370 --> 00:11:19,124
Then it will be fun.
159
00:11:25,553 --> 00:11:27,857
What the fuck are you doing, man?
160
00:11:28,828 --> 00:11:32,650
It's my immunizations. It's the last day
I can do it.
161
00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:35,025
That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse.
162
00:11:35,026 --> 00:11:37,799
I'm a nurse. Just not registered.
163
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:42,466
Stu, look at this!
I bought this cause I thought of you!
164
00:12:18,598 --> 00:12:21,087
- Hey, there he is!
- Hey, Stu!
165
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:24,474
- Teddy! What's up? How are ya?
- Hey Stu.
166
00:12:25,675 --> 00:12:29,034
- Alright. Who's this guy, Stu?
- This is Teddy. Lauren's little brother.
167
00:12:29,035 --> 00:12:32,052
Goes to Stanford. Pre-med. This is
Phil, Alan and Doug.
168
00:12:32,053 --> 00:12:33,470
Hey, nice to meet you, man!
169
00:12:33,471 --> 00:12:35,723
Wow, Stanford? How old are you?
170
00:12:35,725 --> 00:12:40,271
- He's 17. Kind of a genius.
- Actually, I'm 16.
171
00:12:40,272 --> 00:12:43,845
I'm not a genius. My dad just had me take
the entrance exams early.
172
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,225
Because you're a genius.
173
00:12:46,226 --> 00:12:49,466
- So what are you, a doctor?
- No, not yet. I'm premed.
174
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:52,969
- Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser?
- Yeah.
175
00:12:52,970 --> 00:12:56,485
- Well, he turned out to be a gay.
- Alan.
176
00:12:56,487 --> 00:12:58,504
It's true, I read it in Teen People.
177
00:12:58,505 --> 00:13:03,044
Right, ok... well I'm gonna grab a book or something
for the plane. You guys want anything?
178
00:13:03,044 --> 00:13:06,418
- No, thanks. I'm good.
- I would actually love a small water.
179
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,829
Cool.
180
00:13:09,941 --> 00:13:12,947
- What's the matter with you. He's 16 years old.
- Yeah, Alan. Take it easy!
181
00:13:12,948 --> 00:13:17,200
I'm a little confused. Is he here just to
see us off or what. How does this work?
182
00:13:17,201 --> 00:13:20,964
- How does what work?
- Is that person coming to the wedding?
183
00:13:20,965 --> 00:13:26,789
Yes Alan. My brides little brother is
coming to the wedding. Is that ok with you?
184
00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:30,411
Well, it's the first time I've heard of it.
You could have paged me.
185
00:13:33,866 --> 00:13:37,399
Don't over react. It's gonna be fine.
186
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:44,080
- Hey. Mind if I sit?
- Wolf pack only. Find another chair.
187
00:13:44,081 --> 00:13:48,256
- There's no wolfpack, Alan. C'mon.
- It's no problem. I'll find...
188
00:13:48,257 --> 00:13:51,718
- Teddy, don't be ridiculous! You're sitting here!
- Careful, that's a Louis...
189
00:13:51,719 --> 00:13:54,830
That is a Louis Vuitton!
190
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:09,650
- That's a nice neck roll!
- Thanks! You can use it if you want.
191
00:14:09,651 --> 00:14:11,353
Ok.
192
00:14:14,657 --> 00:14:19,625
The Downeaster 'Alexa'" by Billy Joel playing
193
00:15:20,818 --> 00:15:22,532
Baby!
194
00:15:36,675 --> 00:15:41,215
This is so absolutely beautiful!
Thank you much!
195
00:15:41,216 --> 00:15:42,576
Of course.
196
00:15:42,577 --> 00:15:47,558
Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited.
Pretty soon you'll have 2 doctors in the family.
197
00:15:47,559 --> 00:15:52,220
You have to realize that in my country we
don't consider dentists to be real doctors.
198
00:15:52,221 --> 00:15:53,315
Dad...
199
00:15:53,896 --> 00:15:54,980
Ok.
200
00:15:54,981 --> 00:15:59,053
Anyway I have to go and talk to Teddy
about his cello performance tonight.
201
00:16:00,866 --> 00:16:02,059
Ouch!
202
00:16:02,134 --> 00:16:03,843
I'm so sorry...
203
00:16:03,844 --> 00:16:06,634
Your dad's kind of obsessed with your
brother, isn't he?
204
00:16:06,635 --> 00:16:10,373
Teddy is my dad's prize possession. It's
always been that way.
205
00:16:11,193 --> 00:16:14,551
He'll warm up, I promise! Okay?
206
00:16:14,652 --> 00:16:16,715
You can just fax it over to me. I'll
pick it up at the concierge.
207
00:16:18,401 --> 00:16:20,861
Thanks, papa! Bye bye!
208
00:16:20,862 --> 00:16:23,985
That was my dad. I'm a stay at home son.
209
00:16:23,986 --> 00:16:27,707
We were discussing your wedding gift.
He's sparing no expense.
210
00:16:28,412 --> 00:16:30,459
Oh... That's so unnecessary.
211
00:16:30,461 --> 00:16:33,427
I've been meaning to ask someone. I
notice this is a fishing village.
212
00:16:33,428 --> 00:16:35,501
Is there a Long John Silver's on
the island?
213
00:16:35,502 --> 00:16:38,559
You know. No, I don't think so. I'm so sorry.
214
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:42,540
But, we are actually serving some
great fresh seafood.
215
00:16:42,541 --> 00:16:45,248
- Better than Long John's?
- Yes.
216
00:16:45,249 --> 00:16:48,533
- I'll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening.
- You too. Ok.
217
00:17:25,986 --> 00:17:27,973
All right!
218
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,277
Thank you, Teddy!
219
00:17:36,278 --> 00:17:39,478
The hands of a brilliant musician!
220
00:17:39,479 --> 00:17:42,217
And one day, a great surgeon.
221
00:17:44,148 --> 00:17:46,499
I admit it...
222
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:50,550
When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold.
223
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:58,200
He seemed unattractive. He lacked
intelligence and imagination.
224
00:17:58,201 --> 00:18:02,821
He was missing the spark you look for
in a man.
225
00:18:03,857 --> 00:18:07,039
But then I looked into Stu's eyes.
226
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:11,810
It reminded me of my sweet brother,
Chai Yo.
227
00:18:11,811 --> 00:18:17,026
For those who do not know, Chai Yo is learning
the sailboat and lives in a group home.
228
00:18:20,052 --> 00:18:23,499
But Chai Yo loves "khao" .
229
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:30,456
And that's when I realized, Stu is "khao".
230
00:18:30,457 --> 00:18:32,216
What is "khao"?
231
00:18:32,217 --> 00:18:36,247
"Khao" is soft white rice in luke warm water.
232
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:38,637
It has no taste.
233
00:18:38,638 --> 00:18:43,943
We feed it to small baby and uh, very
old people.
234
00:18:43,944 --> 00:18:47,325
It is nourishment that everyone can digest.
235
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:54,581
The world needs "khao", just as the
world needs people like Stu.
236
00:18:56,007 --> 00:18:59,983
To my sweet daughter and Stu!
Congratulations!
237
00:18:59,984 --> 00:19:01,548
Cheers!
238
00:19:05,104 --> 00:19:09,255
And now I believe that Teddy has
something to say.
239
00:19:10,178 --> 00:19:14,505
Sit down! I got this.
Sit down, boy!
240
00:19:15,397 --> 00:19:18,161
That was a.. a great speech, sir!
241
00:19:18,162 --> 00:19:23,885
I like the comparison between
Stu and rice.
242
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:28,618
I've also prepared a few words.
243
00:19:28,619 --> 00:19:31,501
Hey everybody. Here's some fun facts.
244
00:19:31,502 --> 00:19:35,112
The population in Thailand is 63 million people.
245
00:19:35,113 --> 00:19:37,881
It is twice the size of Wyoming.
246
00:19:37,882 --> 00:19:41,794
It's chief exports are textiles, footwear
and rice.
247
00:19:41,795 --> 00:19:47,898
Each year approximately 13,000 people are
killed in car accidents in Thailand.
248
00:19:47,899 --> 00:19:49,927
- The climate in Thailand...
- Alan!
249
00:19:49,928 --> 00:19:54,982
- Why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy.
- Okay. Sorry!
250
00:19:58,062 --> 00:20:00,911
None of you know Stu like I do.
251
00:20:00,912 --> 00:20:06,750
Not you... not you... not you...
252
00:20:06,751 --> 00:20:10,618
Not nobody knows Stu like I do.
253
00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:13,815
No one!
254
00:20:13,816 --> 00:20:17,595
I can't even tell you what we've been
through cause we made a pact.
255
00:20:17,596 --> 00:20:20,050
More important than blood.
256
00:20:20,051 --> 00:20:25,338
What I can tell you is this. This is
not Stu's first marriage.
257
00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:28,721
There was a whore in Las Vegas
a couple of years ago.
258
00:20:28,722 --> 00:20:30,633
Sit down...
259
00:20:32,805 --> 00:20:37,546
- Enough! He'll get over it!
- Okay. Thanks, Phil!
260
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:48,448
In your face!
261
00:20:51,456 --> 00:20:55,141
Well that was exactly as painful as I
expected it to be.
262
00:20:55,142 --> 00:20:56,667
Sorry...
263
00:20:58,282 --> 00:21:01,754
- Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing?
- HaHa. Very funny!
264
00:21:01,755 --> 00:21:04,276
Be nice, Phil! He's extra sensitive tonight.
265
00:21:04,277 --> 00:21:07,601
Get over it! He's your father in law. He's
supposed to hate you.
266
00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:10,251
Come have a drink with me and the guys.
267
00:21:10,252 --> 00:21:15,122
You know... I'm really exhausted. We're
just gonna go upstairs and crash.
268
00:21:15,123 --> 00:21:18,498
C'mon, I just spoke with the manager. He's
gonna let us have a bonfire on the beach.
269
00:21:18,499 --> 00:21:20,330
That sounds fun!
270
00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:24,641
- Nyah... I'm good.
- He's tired!
271
00:21:24,642 --> 00:21:27,818
Stu, one drink with your friends who
came all this way.
272
00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:31,028
- I just wanna hang out with you!
- Oh c'mon. Just go! And do me a favor.
273
00:21:31,029 --> 00:21:35,387
Take Teddy with you. He never gets to
have any fun.
274
00:21:35,387 --> 00:21:37,996
That is a great idea. Bring the kid.
275
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,951
- Alright. One drink!
- Perfect.
276
00:21:40,952 --> 00:21:42,927
- See you later.
- Have fun!
277
00:21:42,928 --> 00:21:46,095
- You have the key?
- Yep, got it right here!
278
00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:48,619
I'll see you in 20 minutes!
279
00:21:51,281 --> 00:21:55,011
My uncle Roger said that he once saw
an albino polar bear.
280
00:21:55,013 --> 00:21:59,813
Really? Polar bears are white.
How would he know if it's an albino?
281
00:22:01,315 --> 00:22:04,049
This one was black.
282
00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:09,308
Did you ever think maybe it was
just a black bear?
283
00:22:12,158 --> 00:22:13,860
Whatever...
284
00:22:14,109 --> 00:22:18,371
Ok. Here we go. American beer.
285
00:22:18,372 --> 00:22:21,560
- Sealed bottle!
- Thank you. Alright!
286
00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:26,355
- I'm not really old enough to drink.
- Yeah, it's illegal.
287
00:22:26,356 --> 00:22:28,856
Would be a shame if somebody reported you.
288
00:22:28,857 --> 00:22:33,237
Nobody's reporting anybody.
It's fine Teddy. Have a little fun.
289
00:22:33,238 --> 00:22:34,689
Careful!
290
00:22:34,690 --> 00:22:38,768
What is this? Instant marshmallows?
Nice touch!
291
00:22:38,769 --> 00:22:41,969
- That was Alan's idea.
- Good thinking, Al!
292
00:22:43,026 --> 00:22:47,813
You know... I gotta hand it to you, Stu!
This place is paradise.
293
00:22:47,814 --> 00:22:49,119
Not bad, right?
294
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:53,877
And I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I'm actually jealous of you.
295
00:22:53,878 --> 00:22:57,419
- I mean, Lauren is an angel.
- Yeah, she really is amazing.
296
00:22:57,519 --> 00:22:58,936
Wow, you guys are sweet.
297
00:22:59,136 --> 00:23:04,361
Not big breasts on her. But still, solid
rack for an Asian.
298
00:23:04,362 --> 00:23:07,396
- Sorry, Teddy, but it's true.
- That's ok.
299
00:23:07,397 --> 00:23:09,624
That is just wildly inappropriate.
300
00:23:09,625 --> 00:23:16,866
And yet... I'm really glad you're here.
All you guys. Even you Alan.
301
00:23:16,867 --> 00:23:20,251
It means a lot that you made the trip.
Thank you.
302
00:23:20,252 --> 00:23:22,926
- Wouldn't have missed it buddy.
- Great!
303
00:23:22,927 --> 00:23:26,413
Now. Can we have our one fucking beer, dad?
304
00:23:27,849 --> 00:23:30,735
Alright. Toast! C'mon stand up guys.
305
00:23:31,780 --> 00:23:33,307
Come over here, Alan!
306
00:23:35,014 --> 00:23:37,622
To Lauren and Stu!
307
00:23:37,623 --> 00:23:40,603
- You did it, buddy.
- Sure did.
308
00:23:41,323 --> 00:23:42,814
Cheers!
309
00:24:59,568 --> 00:25:02,216
What the hell...
310
00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:41,992
What?
311
00:26:07,786 --> 00:26:09,362
Phil...
312
00:26:10,317 --> 00:26:13,153
I think it happened again.
313
00:26:13,154 --> 00:26:18,373
- Alan, what the fuck did you do?
- I didn't do anything. I swear to god.
314
00:26:18,374 --> 00:26:21,878
Your hair is gone.
315
00:26:21,879 --> 00:26:26,531
No, no... up.
316
00:26:32,354 --> 00:26:35,475
Where the fuck are we?
317
00:26:42,939 --> 00:26:44,861
Phil, I'm scared.
318
00:26:56,133 --> 00:26:59,240
Stu, c'mon get up! We got a situation.
319
00:27:07,781 --> 00:27:12,086
- Oh, holy shit!
- Where are we?
320
00:27:14,192 --> 00:27:19,897
- Oh my god, Alan. Your head.
- No your head!
321
00:27:19,898 --> 00:27:24,111
- Is it bald?
- Stu, you're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be ok.
322
00:27:24,112 --> 00:27:28,049
- Why? Was it my teeth?
- Nope, it's not your teeth.
323
00:27:28,050 --> 00:27:29,630
- Are you sure?
- Yep.
324
00:27:29,631 --> 00:27:31,467
Can you see the bottom?
325
00:27:34,123 --> 00:27:39,454
Oh my god! What the fu...ck
326
00:27:40,718 --> 00:27:43,806
That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off.
327
00:27:43,807 --> 00:27:49,409
It's not coming off. This is a real tattoo!
328
00:27:49,410 --> 00:27:52,749
- Alan, what did you do! Did you Roofie me?
- I didn't do anything!
329
00:27:52,750 --> 00:27:55,243
Stu, he swore to god!
330
00:27:56,682 --> 00:27:58,205
What happened?
331
00:28:01,587 --> 00:28:04,825
Get it off of me!
332
00:28:07,116 --> 00:28:10,127
- What the hell?
- It's a monkey.
333
00:28:10,128 --> 00:28:13,844
What a cute little mask. Hi little monkey.
334
00:28:13,845 --> 00:28:15,305
Alan...
335
00:28:18,858 --> 00:28:22,481
Phone! Alan, go find the phone!
336
00:28:23,421 --> 00:28:24,885
I got it!
337
00:28:25,978 --> 00:28:29,231
- Doug, where the hell are you?
- I'm at breakfast. By the pool.
338
00:28:29,232 --> 00:28:33,466
- You guys coming down or what?
- Oh Jesus. Thank god. Doug's fine.
339
00:28:33,468 --> 00:28:37,691
- Stu, Doug's fine. He's at the resort.
- Why aren't we at the resort.
340
00:28:37,692 --> 00:28:39,327
What's going on? Where are you guys?
341
00:28:39,329 --> 00:28:43,407
I do not know, man! We woke up
in some shit hole room in some city.
342
00:28:43,408 --> 00:28:47,089
- Oh god. What city?
- I don't know, Doug!
343
00:28:47,090 --> 00:28:49,840
Fuckin Asia-town.
344
00:28:49,841 --> 00:28:53,008
- I do not know, I told you.
- Where are we?
345
00:28:58,238 --> 00:29:01,112
- Hey Stu.
- What?
346
00:29:01,113 --> 00:29:03,672
Check this out.
347
00:29:03,673 --> 00:29:07,459
Ever seen anything like this?
348
00:29:13,858 --> 00:29:17,845
- What is that?
- Careful. Might be a spiders nest.
349
00:29:17,846 --> 00:29:20,452
I've tangled with those before.
350
00:29:20,453 --> 00:29:25,689
I don't get it man. We each had one beer
last night, right? I mean you too!
351
00:29:25,690 --> 00:29:29,349
- Yeah but I left early, remember?
- I don't remember shit!
352
00:29:29,350 --> 00:29:32,374
Tracy wasn't feeling well. She came
down to get me.
353
00:29:32,375 --> 00:29:36,600
- Wait and second. Is Teddy with you guys?
- Teddy? What? What are you talking about?
354
00:29:36,601 --> 00:29:39,417
He wasn't in his room. They've been
looking for him all morning.
355
00:29:39,418 --> 00:29:42,416
- Teddy went to Stanford, right?
- Yeah. Why?
356
00:29:42,417 --> 00:29:44,328
Fuck!
357
00:29:46,017 --> 00:29:49,004
- I just found his finger!
- What?
358
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:54,632
- I just found his fucking finger, Doug!
- Phil, what is going on?
359
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:59,018
Alright. Alright, alright... this is
what we're gonna do.
360
00:29:59,019 --> 00:30:02,340
You tell the girls that we woke up early and went
on a fishing trip, ok. And that's where we are.
361
00:30:02,341 --> 00:30:05,506
- Right.
- Right, stay by the phone!
362
00:30:06,589 --> 00:30:08,676
Shit!
363
00:30:11,420 --> 00:30:14,370
Uh, we got a little bit of a problem.
364
00:30:15,217 --> 00:30:17,208
What is that?
365
00:30:17,759 --> 00:30:19,684
We don't know.
366
00:30:20,375 --> 00:30:24,935
- Is it a worm?
- It's a mushroom.
367
00:30:26,203 --> 00:30:28,489
Yeah, shiitake.
368
00:30:29,023 --> 00:30:32,163
Monkey, taste it! Is it shiitake?
369
00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:36,743
- He can't understand you.
- He just did.
370
00:30:36,744 --> 00:30:40,171
- Why is he pulling on it?
- He's probably hungry.
371
00:30:40,172 --> 00:30:42,742
Wait a second. Is that...
372
00:30:42,744 --> 00:30:47,775
What the fuck man. Tell that gay monkey
to leave my shit alone.
373
00:30:47,776 --> 00:30:49,172
Chow?
374
00:30:49,173 --> 00:30:52,179
You're fucking crazy.
375
00:30:52,180 --> 00:30:58,159
It's so fucking light in here!
Alan, grab me my sunglasses!
376
00:30:58,161 --> 00:31:03,217
- It's great to see you, Leslie!
- Nice to see you too my little popo.
377
00:31:03,218 --> 00:31:05,231
Chow, what the fuck are you doing here?
378
00:31:05,232 --> 00:31:08,869
Alan called me a few days ago and
invited me to the wedding.
379
00:31:08,870 --> 00:31:11,158
- Excuse me?
- What, he's my plus one.
380
00:31:11,159 --> 00:31:13,880
You don't have plus one. It's $200 a plate.
381
00:31:13,881 --> 00:31:17,042
Guys, guys. Just focus, ok.
Chow, what happened?
382
00:31:17,043 --> 00:31:21,699
You guys texted me, said you're fucked
up and looking to party.
383
00:31:27,854 --> 00:31:31,173
I picked you up on my boat and I brought
you here to Bangkok.
384
00:31:31,174 --> 00:31:33,885
But we had a sick night, bitches!
385
00:31:33,886 --> 00:31:39,013
Wait a second Chow, we're in Bangkok?
386
00:31:39,014 --> 00:31:42,360
Holler, city of squalor.
387
00:31:42,361 --> 00:31:47,265
- Do you know how I got this tattoo?
- Uh, yeah from a fucking tattoo guy!
388
00:31:47,266 --> 00:31:50,431
Come on Stu, use that big Jewish brain.
389
00:31:50,432 --> 00:31:52,494
What's the monkey holding?
390
00:31:55,015 --> 00:31:59,157
- That's a finger!
- Stu, I got some bad news.
391
00:31:59,158 --> 00:32:03,768
Teddy was with us last night.
That's his finger.
392
00:32:05,113 --> 00:32:10,515
- Teddy's dead?
- Teddy's not dead! He partied with us all night!
393
00:32:10,517 --> 00:32:14,320
- Well then where is he?
- Don't you remember anything?
394
00:32:14,321 --> 00:32:17,749
- No!
- No, nothing, Chow.
395
00:32:17,750 --> 00:32:20,960
Ok I explain it all, ok?
396
00:32:20,961 --> 00:32:26,002
Just let me do one bump, get my head straight.
Come to papa.
397
00:32:26,003 --> 00:32:28,528
That's a big...
398
00:32:33,745 --> 00:32:37,990
You ready for craziest fucking story ever...
399
00:32:47,722 --> 00:32:49,247
Chow!
400
00:32:51,162 --> 00:32:54,495
Hey Chow, you okay?
401
00:32:55,859 --> 00:32:58,852
You gotta be kidding me.
402
00:33:03,959 --> 00:33:06,581
Fuck, he's dead!
403
00:33:12,184 --> 00:33:13,487
- Help!
- Stu!
404
00:33:14,278 --> 00:33:17,603
- Help!
- Stu, shut up!
405
00:33:17,604 --> 00:33:20,524
- Call an ambulance!
- Shut up! He's dead!
406
00:33:20,525 --> 00:33:23,435
Look if someone comes and finds a dead
body and a pile of cocaine...
407
00:33:23,436 --> 00:33:26,967
We're gonna spend the rest of our fucking
lives in a Thai prison.
408
00:33:27,652 --> 00:33:30,397
Alan! Please don't cry!
409
00:33:31,759 --> 00:33:36,728
Alright. Alright. I just need a second to
figure this out.
410
00:33:52,436 --> 00:33:55,078
ICE MACHINE LOCATED ON 15TH FLOOR.
411
00:34:10,344 --> 00:34:12,453
Look, this is the worst idea, ever.
412
00:34:12,454 --> 00:34:14,316
What the fuck is this place?
413
00:34:14,317 --> 00:34:18,122
Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. Its
population is 12 million people...
414
00:34:18,123 --> 00:34:20,875
Alan, will you help!
415
00:34:26,701 --> 00:34:30,133
- The elevator!
- I'll get the button!
416
00:34:32,985 --> 00:34:36,883
- What the fuck is the deal with this monkey?
- That monkey gets it!
417
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:39,935
- Come on!
- Fuck no!
418
00:34:39,936 --> 00:34:42,984
The powers out. We gotta take the stairs.
419
00:34:42,985 --> 00:34:44,419
- Oh fuck!
- Come on!
420
00:34:49,994 --> 00:34:51,737
Here it is!
421
00:34:52,229 --> 00:34:55,720
Feet first. I've done this before.
422
00:35:01,127 --> 00:35:03,126
Careful!
423
00:35:22,575 --> 00:35:25,218
- Stu!
- What?
424
00:35:27,276 --> 00:35:31,155
- We still have to find Teddy!
- Oh god.
425
00:35:39,357 --> 00:35:41,058
The roof!
426
00:35:41,059 --> 00:35:45,157
Teddy!
427
00:35:52,613 --> 00:35:55,669
- You guys see him?
- No!
428
00:36:04,589 --> 00:36:06,270
He's not here.
429
00:36:08,472 --> 00:36:12,129
I can't believe this is happening again.
430
00:36:14,281 --> 00:36:18,564
Ok, look. We'll handle this. You get
back there.
431
00:36:18,565 --> 00:36:22,152
You tell them that Alan and I got drunk
with him, we're still partying.
432
00:36:22,154 --> 00:36:27,332
- You gotta go get married!
- No! Not going back without Teddy!
433
00:36:27,334 --> 00:36:30,382
He's Lauren's little brother. He's lost,
he's injured.
434
00:36:32,026 --> 00:36:38,041
If I fuck this up, I lose everything.
435
00:36:39,544 --> 00:36:41,065
Ok.
436
00:36:42,124 --> 00:36:43,673
Alright.
437
00:36:45,075 --> 00:36:48,059
- Alan, check your pockets!
- What?
438
00:36:48,060 --> 00:36:50,968
You know the drill. C'mon there might
be clues.
439
00:36:50,969 --> 00:36:54,875
- Check your phones! Numbers, texts.
- That's a good idea!
440
00:36:55,614 --> 00:36:58,989
- I got nothing. Fuck!
- I got an text from Chow.
441
00:36:58,990 --> 00:37:01,825
- What time?
- Uh, 10 o'clock last night.
442
00:37:01,826 --> 00:37:06,111
- What's it say?
- "On my way, Niggahs"
443
00:37:06,113 --> 00:37:09,368
Oh, Niggahs... ok... hip hop.
444
00:37:11,843 --> 00:37:16,346
We are so... fucked!
445
00:37:16,347 --> 00:37:21,631
Hey Phil! Look who's back!
446
00:37:23,092 --> 00:37:27,071
We gotta get you out of the sun. You're
too hot.
447
00:37:28,612 --> 00:37:31,452
Phil, I really think we should go to
the American Consulate.
448
00:37:31,453 --> 00:37:34,926
For what? To report a dead body we shoved
into an ice machine?
449
00:37:34,927 --> 00:37:38,222
What are we gonna do? Keep walking around
in circles? Cause that's real productive.
450
00:37:38,223 --> 00:37:40,841
You know I'm trying to figure this thing
out here and your attitude is not helping.
451
00:37:40,842 --> 00:37:44,042
I'm sorry. It's a 100 degrees and we
don't have a plan.
452
00:37:44,043 --> 00:37:46,422
And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas.
453
00:37:46,423 --> 00:37:49,245
-What, it's a bag of Fanta!
- Alright, what do you want to do, Stu?
454
00:37:49,247 --> 00:37:50,364
I don't know!
455
00:37:50,365 --> 00:37:52,393
Well then stop yelling at me like it's my fuckin fault.
456
00:37:52,394 --> 00:37:53,976
It is your fault!
457
00:37:53,977 --> 00:37:56,408
All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.
458
00:37:56,409 --> 00:37:58,684
Shit! Shut up! It's Doug! Talk to me!
459
00:37:58,685 --> 00:38:02,338
I just got off the phone with Bangkok PD.
They've got him. He's ok.
460
00:38:02,339 --> 00:38:05,546
Oh thank god! Doug found him.
461
00:38:05,547 --> 00:38:07,382
- What happened?
- He got arrested.
462
00:38:07,383 --> 00:38:10,175
- Arrested? For what?
- Disorderly conduct.
463
00:38:10,176 --> 00:38:12,443
- Seriously?
- Yeah! He's ok though.
464
00:38:12,444 --> 00:38:16,046
They'll release him to you. No questions
asked. No one has to know.
465
00:38:16,296 --> 00:38:22,017
He's at the Ratra Wang police station.
466
00:38:22,018 --> 00:38:24,239
Ok. I'll call you when we get there.
467
00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:26,717
Teddy's in jail, but he's fine. We
gotta get a cab.
468
00:38:26,718 --> 00:38:28,874
- Ok!
- Alright!
469
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,036
- Yes, I have his paperwork here.
- Okay.
470
00:38:36,037 --> 00:38:40,075
- He has been treated.
- Sounds good.
471
00:38:40,076 --> 00:38:43,527
We're good. They've processed him for
release.
472
00:38:44,333 --> 00:38:46,915
They put him in the drunk tank. He's fine.
473
00:38:46,916 --> 00:38:50,818
Sixteen years old and spent a night in
jail. Can you imagine?
474
00:38:50,819 --> 00:38:54,224
Haha! We love to party.
475
00:38:56,921 --> 00:38:58,457
Here we go!
476
00:38:59,701 --> 00:39:02,373
- Wait who's this fuckin guy?
- Teddy Sisay.
477
00:39:02,374 --> 00:39:05,699
No, no, no, no. That's the wrong guy! Sir!
478
00:39:05,700 --> 00:39:10,403
Excuse me.. I'm sorry. Officer. You brought
the wrong guy. That's not Teddy!
479
00:39:10,404 --> 00:39:14,495
Of course it is!
We have his ID's and everything!
480
00:39:14,496 --> 00:39:17,623
These were in his pocket
when we made the arrest.
481
00:39:17,624 --> 00:39:19,677
They were in his pocket?
482
00:39:20,643 --> 00:39:24,715
Excuse me, sir! How did you get this stuff?
483
00:39:25,425 --> 00:39:27,143
Hello?
484
00:39:27,144 --> 00:39:32,667
Teddy doesn't speak. We tried English,
Thai, Chinese... Nothing.
485
00:39:32,668 --> 00:39:34,437
Let me ask you something.
486
00:39:34,439 --> 00:39:39,399
Does he look like he works out at Bally
Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California?
487
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:45,875
Look. We arrest a lot of people. We cannot
analyze everything.
488
00:39:45,876 --> 00:39:50,174
- What do you expect us to do with this guy?
- Not my problem!
489
00:39:50,894 --> 00:39:57,089
Hey guys, I think he knows us. Hi. Hello.
490
00:39:59,925 --> 00:40:04,340
You know where our friend is, Teddy?
He's missing!
491
00:40:04,342 --> 00:40:08,148
- Stu, forget it. The guys worthless.
- He knows something!
492
00:40:08,149 --> 00:40:11,100
He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt.
493
00:40:11,101 --> 00:40:17,202
Maybe he just doesn't understand. I'll
act it out. Yeah, like charades. Watch.
494
00:40:17,203 --> 00:40:19,756
- Two words.
- Is it a movie?
495
00:40:19,757 --> 00:40:22,494
This is not for you, Alan!
496
00:40:23,713 --> 00:40:30,266
- American teenager... in Asia.
- Karate Kid, with Jaden Smith.
497
00:40:30,267 --> 00:40:33,089
It's easy cause you're talking to him.
498
00:40:33,090 --> 00:40:36,886
Stu, it's a waste of time! Just leave
this fucking guy here.
499
00:40:36,888 --> 00:40:40,931
Here's something. There are 500 thousand
monks living in Thailand.
500
00:40:40,932 --> 00:40:47,494
It is not uncommon for some monks to take
a vow of silence, at the age of eight.
501
00:40:47,496 --> 00:40:48,617
There you go.
502
00:40:48,618 --> 00:40:51,424
- Anything else in that envelope?
- Nah, it's empty.
503
00:40:53,112 --> 00:40:58,297
Woah, hang on. A drink card from White
Lion bar in Bangkok?
504
00:40:59,107 --> 00:41:01,494
Worth a shot.
505
00:41:03,019 --> 00:41:06,134
Jesus christ! Is this the right street?
506
00:41:06,135 --> 00:41:08,580
That's what it says.
507
00:41:14,384 --> 00:41:19,509
- Whoa! This is the White Lion!
- What the fuck happened here?
508
00:41:19,510 --> 00:41:22,142
Holy shit!
509
00:41:22,166 --> 00:41:26,340
(yelling in Thai)
510
00:41:26,469 --> 00:41:29,521
- Let's...
- We should probably...
511
00:41:33,976 --> 00:41:35,609
That's ok.
512
00:41:35,610 --> 00:41:38,862
What the fuck is going on here?
513
00:41:40,209 --> 00:41:45,660
- Whoa, guys. Check it out!
- Holy shit! Stu, look!
514
00:41:45,661 --> 00:41:51,881
That's my face. Go, go go!
Nice work, Alan!
515
00:41:53,466 --> 00:41:56,628
- Hello?
- Be with you in a minute!
516
00:42:00,186 --> 00:42:03,626
- Excuse me.
- Oh, look who it is!
517
00:42:03,627 --> 00:42:07,478
- So what do ya think?
- What, I'm sorry?
518
00:42:07,479 --> 00:42:12,933
- The tattoo. You love it?
- Uh, no. Actually, I hate it.
519
00:42:12,934 --> 00:42:15,872
- No refunds. Get the fuck out!
- Wait a second!
520
00:42:15,873 --> 00:42:17,494
Read the sign!
521
00:42:17,495 --> 00:42:19,081
NO REFUNDS. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
522
00:42:19,082 --> 00:42:21,793
We don't want any refunds. We just have
a couple of questions.
523
00:42:21,794 --> 00:42:23,908
We're trying to figure out what went
down last night.
524
00:42:23,909 --> 00:42:28,709
What went down? Take a look at what you
did outside. Half the neighborhood went down.
525
00:42:28,710 --> 00:42:32,727
- We did that?
- You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion?
526
00:42:32,729 --> 00:42:38,225
- Starting a full on fuckin riot?
- Sir, we don't remember anything.
527
00:42:42,302 --> 00:42:45,570
Oh boy...
528
00:42:46,501 --> 00:42:49,402
Check this out!
529
00:42:52,670 --> 00:42:54,974
Oh shit!
530
00:42:57,819 --> 00:43:01,719
Fuck the Police!
531
00:43:04,894 --> 00:43:07,763
There's Teddy! He was with us!
532
00:43:21,178 --> 00:43:22,740
Jesus christ!
533
00:43:22,741 --> 00:43:25,583
That's when the cops arrived and started
cracking skulls.
534
00:43:25,584 --> 00:43:28,477
I took you guys and hid you in the
shop here.
535
00:43:28,478 --> 00:43:32,912
Then you decided to get a tattoo.
You cried like a little bitch.
536
00:43:32,913 --> 00:43:36,266
This kid is fucking nine years old. He's
got balls twice your size.
537
00:43:36,267 --> 00:43:40,156
- Show him your balls, Nao!
- No, no, no. That's ok.
538
00:43:40,157 --> 00:43:43,851
Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy.
Have you seen him?
539
00:43:43,852 --> 00:43:46,070
Not since last night. Why? What happened?
540
00:43:46,071 --> 00:43:49,839
Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister
tomorrow and we kinda lost him.
541
00:43:51,119 --> 00:43:55,471
- Oh well. Then fuck it!
- What do you mean, fuck it?
542
00:43:55,472 --> 00:43:59,142
Bangkok has him now and she'll never
let him go.
543
00:43:59,143 --> 00:44:03,413
- You hear that, huh? Is this what you
wanted? You happy now?
544
00:44:03,414 --> 00:44:07,008
You're wasting your time. These monks
take their vow shit seriously.
545
00:44:07,009 --> 00:44:12,298
Look at this. That's the sign of the Chang
Mai Monastery, just outside of town.
546
00:44:12,299 --> 00:44:15,615
Maybe somebody over there can get him
to talk.
547
00:44:20,187 --> 00:44:22,915
- Ok, can we just go over this one
more time? You got the beer from...
548
00:44:23,015 --> 00:44:26,024
- The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case.
- Right.
549
00:44:27,118 --> 00:44:29,734
- But, who gave it to you?
- The bartender.
550
00:44:30,597 --> 00:44:33,038
And then you brought em out and
I opened them.
551
00:44:33,039 --> 00:44:36,668
Yeah and Doug had one and he was fine
so it's not the beer.
552
00:44:36,669 --> 00:44:39,169
- So what the hell happened?
- I have no idea!
553
00:44:39,170 --> 00:44:42,649
Hey guys. Check it out. He's got a
Chinese boner.
554
00:44:42,650 --> 00:44:45,935
Alan, come on! Cut it out!
555
00:44:48,375 --> 00:44:52,782
- That is so wrong!
- Don't stop monkey, keep doing it.
556
00:45:02,687 --> 00:45:07,867
When a monkey nibbles on a penis
it's funny in any language!
557
00:45:09,071 --> 00:45:11,249
Keep doing it!
558
00:45:13,091 --> 00:45:14,491
Alright, thank you!
559
00:45:16,538 --> 00:45:20,206
Bye Shannon! Bye Little Wayne!
560
00:45:30,076 --> 00:45:32,987
Wow! So beautiful!
561
00:45:35,169 --> 00:45:37,808
What is this, a PF Chang's?
562
00:45:39,082 --> 00:45:42,051
Ah, they're meditating.
563
00:45:42,052 --> 00:45:45,383
- Such a peaceful people!
- Yeah.
564
00:45:45,384 --> 00:45:49,378
- Knock, knock! Hello!
- Alan! Show some respect!
565
00:45:49,379 --> 00:45:53,576
- Don't get up guys.
- We brought one of your guys back.
566
00:45:53,577 --> 00:45:56,546
He's really funny. He's really nice
and cool.
567
00:45:56,547 --> 00:46:00,132
Hi, how you doing. You the one in charge?
568
00:46:02,751 --> 00:46:05,795
- Excuse me... ow... Wait!
- Stop it! Calm down!
569
00:46:07,142 --> 00:46:11,988
Hold on. It's because we're talking.
570
00:46:11,989 --> 00:46:14,816
God damn it! Oh! Stop!
571
00:46:14,817 --> 00:46:17,853
Wait it's me!
572
00:46:17,854 --> 00:46:19,737
Oh I get it.
573
00:46:23,053 --> 00:46:26,709
No talk! No talk! Shh.. Ok...
574
00:46:32,369 --> 00:46:34,742
Ok.
575
00:46:54,110 --> 00:46:59,085
Late last night, you climbed the walls
of our monastery.
576
00:46:59,086 --> 00:47:06,203
Shouting out questions about love, marriage
and the meaning of life.
577
00:47:06,672 --> 00:47:10,273
Poor brother Han was meditating alone
in the garden.
578
00:47:10,274 --> 00:47:14,621
- And you took him.
- Oh my god!
579
00:47:15,013 --> 00:47:19,555
- We kidnapped a monk.
- We live an alternative life style.
580
00:47:19,556 --> 00:47:24,972
We are so sorry about that, but we weren't
ourselves last night.
581
00:47:24,973 --> 00:47:31,267
Yep, things kinda spun outta control a little
bit. But there's a boy who's missing and hurt.
582
00:47:31,268 --> 00:47:34,547
Can you find out if he knows where our
friend is?
583
00:47:34,548 --> 00:47:38,027
Brother Han took a vow of silence many
years ago.
584
00:47:38,028 --> 00:47:40,182
It would be useless to try.
585
00:47:40,183 --> 00:47:44,429
Well maybe he can write down what happened,
on a piece of paper?
586
00:47:44,430 --> 00:47:47,634
Actually Phil, that would be cheating.
Isn't that right, Grand Wizard.
587
00:47:47,635 --> 00:47:50,666
- Alan!
- I'm afraid fatty is right.
588
00:47:50,667 --> 00:47:52,647
See?... What?
589
00:47:52,648 --> 00:47:56,668
None of us will ever know what brother
Han knows.
590
00:47:57,663 --> 00:48:01,093
Oh, alright. Well, so much for holy people.
Bunch of bald assholes. C'mon, let's go.
591
00:48:01,094 --> 00:48:05,293
Hey you know what! FYI! You may want to
put some signs up that say no talking...
592
00:48:05,294 --> 00:48:07,626
- ...before you unleash your dragon.
- Yeah, that was a little rough.
593
00:48:07,627 --> 00:48:10,846
And "your welcome" for bringing him
back safe.
594
00:48:10,847 --> 00:48:13,800
- You know we found him in the drunk tank.
- Yeah well we did take him in the first place.
595
00:48:13,851 --> 00:48:17,746
- C'mon guys, let's go.
- Wait!
596
00:48:18,613 --> 00:48:24,501
The Buddha teach, every memory lives
somewhere deep within.
597
00:48:24,502 --> 00:48:29,437
Perhaps you should bring your question
to the Garden of Meditation.
598
00:48:29,438 --> 00:48:32,641
- Did you understand a word he just said?
- Yeah, yeah. About two thirds.
599
00:48:32,642 --> 00:48:34,345
He said something about the Garden of
Meditation?
600
00:48:34,346 --> 00:48:37,076
No, he said he's farting because of
his medication.
601
00:48:37,077 --> 00:48:39,477
I get that.
602
00:48:44,566 --> 00:48:49,711
It's a waste of time. I don't remember
anything. Do you?
603
00:48:49,712 --> 00:48:55,108
No. I got nothing. Alan?
604
00:48:57,330 --> 00:48:59,110
Alan!
605
00:49:01,990 --> 00:49:05,134
"Every memory lives somewhere deep within"
606
00:49:05,231 --> 00:49:06,747
- Sweetie.
- What?
607
00:49:07,091 --> 00:49:08,379
You have visitors.
608
00:49:08,661 --> 00:49:10,480
- Hey, Alan!
- Hey, guys!
609
00:49:10,606 --> 00:49:12,470
- Hey, Phil.
- Hey buddy!
610
00:49:12,576 --> 00:49:14,421
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
611
00:49:14,613 --> 00:49:18,343
- Is this true, Stuart?
- Yeah, why not. It'll be fun.
612
00:49:19,738 --> 00:49:20,704
Fuck!
613
00:49:20,799 --> 00:49:24,493
- For Lauren and Stu!
- Cheers!
614
00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:30,307
- Chow!
- We had a sick night bitches!
615
00:49:31,745 --> 00:49:33,163
Alan, what the fuck!
616
00:49:34,441 --> 00:49:36,349
Is that person coming to the wedding?
617
00:49:36,446 --> 00:49:40,013
- There is no wolfpack.
- Alan, Alan, don't do that!
618
00:49:40,096 --> 00:49:41,756
And finally...
619
00:49:41,868 --> 00:49:44,197
The three best friends anyone could have.
620
00:49:53,961 --> 00:49:56,645
Fuck the Police!
621
00:50:08,567 --> 00:50:09,880
I know where to go.
622
00:50:13,158 --> 00:50:16,784
- What do you think, Alan?
- This is the place.
623
00:50:17,243 --> 00:50:18,870
C'mon. Let's go.
624
00:50:23,696 --> 00:50:25,582
I don't remember any of this!
625
00:50:26,971 --> 00:50:30,333
- Yeah Alan, you sure this is the place?
- Yeah, pretty sure.
626
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:40,434
Rose! Harmony!
627
00:50:41,185 --> 00:50:43,399
Is he coming or what? I've been waiting
all day for him.
628
00:50:43,559 --> 00:50:47,825
- I'm sorry. Waiting for who?
- Chow, that dick ass fuck!
629
00:50:48,852 --> 00:50:51,314
- Why? What's wrong?
- Nothings wrong.
630
00:50:51,862 --> 00:50:56,605
Ok, good. Look at this. Look what I
bring for him. Check it out, huh.
631
00:50:56,748 --> 00:50:59,122
- No, no!
- $ 6,000 American.
632
00:50:59,251 --> 00:51:01,422
Wow looks so real!
633
00:51:07,986 --> 00:51:09,218
Sorry!
634
00:51:09,598 --> 00:51:14,856
- Alan, what the fuck!
- It's ok. The gun, it's very sensitive.
635
00:51:15,327 --> 00:51:17,351
Everybody ok?
636
00:51:18,076 --> 00:51:23,305
Ok, then get the fuck back to work!
Come on. Music, please!
637
00:51:24,103 --> 00:51:25,568
Where is my 6,000 dollars?
638
00:51:25,705 --> 00:51:29,346
6,000? No, no, no. This is Chow's deal. We
got nothing to do with that.
639
00:51:29,579 --> 00:51:31,437
Un-fucking believable.
640
00:51:31,594 --> 00:51:35,224
This guy, if he backs out again, the
shits gonna catch up with him.
641
00:51:35,346 --> 00:51:39,118
He's made a lot of enemies in this town,
and now they're gonna be your enemies.
642
00:51:39,214 --> 00:51:40,567
That's not fair!
643
00:51:40,701 --> 00:51:43,156
Ok listen. We're just looking for a
little kid.
644
00:51:43,270 --> 00:51:45,132
- 2,000 dollars.
- What!
645
00:51:45,274 --> 00:51:48,019
I don't know, maybe more. How young you
want this kid to be?
646
00:51:48,125 --> 00:51:54,888
No, no! Sorry, you misunderstood. We're
looking for our friend... 16 years old.
647
00:51:54,998 --> 00:51:56,793
- Teddy.
- Teddy?
648
00:51:57,018 --> 00:51:59,215
- Yeah he was here with you guys last night.
- He was?
649
00:51:59,349 --> 00:52:00,908
Do you know if he left with us?
650
00:52:01,061 --> 00:52:03,665
I don't know. You were in the corner all
night with Kimmy.
651
00:52:03,757 --> 00:52:05,403
- I didn't see you leave.
- Kimmy?
652
00:52:05,536 --> 00:52:08,807
- Is she here?
- Yes, she's in the back. She just came for her shit.
653
00:52:08,937 --> 00:52:10,249
Go and talk to her.
654
00:52:10,637 --> 00:52:13,138
Alright, listen. I'm sorry about everything
that happened.
655
00:52:13,254 --> 00:52:15,623
Listen to me, ok? Pay attention to what
I'm going to talk to you know.
656
00:52:15,728 --> 00:52:19,757
When you see Chow, you tell him Samir
says "Hello".
657
00:52:19,848 --> 00:52:20,639
Okay!
658
00:52:20,731 --> 00:52:25,434
But do it like that, ok! "Hello" like
threatening. Like, ironic.
659
00:52:26,711 --> 00:52:27,915
- "Hellooo"
- Okay!
660
00:52:35,768 --> 00:52:37,337
Go away! Go away!
661
00:52:37,803 --> 00:52:38,761
??
662
00:52:39,044 --> 00:52:42,498
Of course I remember him. He was buying
shots for everyone.
663
00:52:42,630 --> 00:52:46,188
Nice kid! His parents must be so proud.
664
00:52:46,302 --> 00:52:47,727
You have no idea.
665
00:52:48,020 --> 00:52:50,470
Ok, so do you remember if he left with us?
666
00:52:50,571 --> 00:52:54,363
Yeah, you were all leaving together, but
you almost forgot this one right here.
667
00:52:54,495 --> 00:52:56,534
Right, super star?
668
00:52:57,723 --> 00:53:01,860
This one was following me around like a
little puppy dog. All night.
669
00:53:02,174 --> 00:53:06,064
Saying he'd fallen in love with me. Asked
me to marry him.
670
00:53:07,506 --> 00:53:09,276
Classic Stu!
671
00:53:10,273 --> 00:53:12,934
- We didn't get married, did we?
- Course not!
672
00:53:13,103 --> 00:53:15,499
We just had some fun in the Chardonnay room.
673
00:53:15,661 --> 00:53:19,225
- What happens in the Chardonnay room?
- Let's just stay on task.
674
00:53:19,325 --> 00:53:24,602
I danced for him. He tickled me. We had sex.
675
00:53:24,732 --> 00:53:27,273
- Fuck!
- It's ok. You're not married yet.
676
00:53:27,387 --> 00:53:29,202
- No big deal.
- It's cheating!
677
00:53:29,297 --> 00:53:32,162
No offense to you. You're a lovely woman.
678
00:53:32,304 --> 00:53:34,372
It's a violation of my moral code.
679
00:53:34,508 --> 00:53:39,915
Don't be sad. Stu you loved it. You were
crying, saying how special it was.
680
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:43,836
- Wait! I'm sorry. He was crying?
- What a baby. He was crying.
681
00:53:43,948 --> 00:53:48,414
You should have seen him. He was so
sexy. The way he moved around.
682
00:53:48,757 --> 00:53:51,512
I had to ask him to slow down so I didn't
drop my load too quick.
683
00:53:54,181 --> 00:53:59,157
- Load? What load?
- Oh, you know... My sperms.
684
00:54:00,672 --> 00:54:04,040
I think your English is off. You're talking
about my sperm!
685
00:54:05,198 --> 00:54:08,247
- Where would your sperm come from?
- From my balls!
686
00:54:08,410 --> 00:54:10,786
- Hold on! Back up!
- Wait... Are you...
687
00:54:13,392 --> 00:54:15,139
Hey. You're in Bangkok, sweetie.
688
00:54:15,233 --> 00:54:17,648
- There's a reason they don't call it "Bang-cunt".
- Oh!
689
00:54:23,092 --> 00:54:24,734
- Oh god!
- Wow.
690
00:54:28,835 --> 00:54:30,811
I don't get it. Is this a magic show?
691
00:54:32,125 --> 00:54:36,447
Come on, Stu, it was beautiful. We climaxed
at the same time.
692
00:54:37,356 --> 00:54:38,923
How's that work?
693
00:54:39,032 --> 00:54:41,786
Shoot my load into you. Shoot your load
on the floor.
694
00:54:42,466 --> 00:54:46,415
- Ok!
- You ruined me. Ruined bottom.
695
00:54:47,629 --> 00:54:49,794
Oh god!
696
00:54:56,797 --> 00:55:01,844
- Stu! It's not the end of the world.
- Sorry, but I'm so confused.
697
00:55:02,961 --> 00:55:06,023
I made love to a man... with boobies.
698
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,960
Listen. I promise you no ones ever gonna
find out about this.
699
00:55:10,081 --> 00:55:11,741
But we found out about it.
700
00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:14,069
And then we forget. That's what we do!
701
00:55:14,229 --> 00:55:17,537
I do so much fucked up shit. And I just
forget about it.
702
00:55:17,663 --> 00:55:20,840
- Yeah?
- Yeah! Just forget! It goes away!
703
00:55:21,362 --> 00:55:24,509
That might be harder to go away, but in
time it'll happen.
704
00:55:24,656 --> 00:55:29,471
I certainly do. Just gonna forget about it.
705
00:55:29,622 --> 00:55:31,557
- Never happened.
- Great!
706
00:55:32,784 --> 00:55:34,808
Phone! Phone! Who is it? Answer!
707
00:55:35,347 --> 00:55:38,239
Lauren's dad. He just reminded me...
708
00:55:38,354 --> 00:55:40,068
- Answer it!
- I can't.
709
00:55:40,178 --> 00:55:42,901
What! He might know something about Teddy.
C'mon we still have a shot here.
710
00:55:43,031 --> 00:55:46,582
Get your head back into the fucking game, Stu!
711
00:55:51,375 --> 00:55:52,500
Hello?
712
00:55:52,602 --> 00:55:55,884
Who takes an all day fishing trip the
day before a wedding?
713
00:55:56,047 --> 00:56:00,920
- Yeah, I guess that is kinda stupid.
- Put Teddy on the phone.
714
00:56:03,465 --> 00:56:06,180
- Teddy's seasick actually.
- Seasick?
715
00:56:06,295 --> 00:56:11,602
- Teddy's been a Maritime cadet since he was nine.
- That's weird, cause he's puking everywhere.
716
00:56:11,767 --> 00:56:14,569
I'm gonna tell you something that you do
not know.
717
00:56:15,038 --> 00:56:18,300
- I don't like you.
- Yeah,I knew that already.
718
00:56:18,409 --> 00:56:20,171
If my daughter chooses you,
that's her problem.
719
00:56:20,268 --> 00:56:21,910
This is ??.
Hey it's Phil Winnick!
720
00:56:22,009 --> 00:56:24,895
Listen, I apologize. We've been reelin
in some crazy Marlin and I just wanna say...
721
00:56:27,178 --> 00:56:28,463
Phil!
722
00:56:28,577 --> 00:56:30,108
- Jesus!
- Phil!
723
00:56:30,462 --> 00:56:31,946
Fuck me!
724
00:56:31,963 --> 00:56:35,172
- Give us back our monkey!
- What monkey? Get your own monkey!
725
00:56:35,206 --> 00:56:37,934
Come on, you asshole, the fucking monkey!
726
00:56:38,359 --> 00:56:39,749
Come on!
727
00:56:39,857 --> 00:56:42,174
Anytime, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us!
728
00:56:42,300 --> 00:56:43,330
This is our monkey!
729
00:56:43,459 --> 00:56:45,624
No one's getting shot over a fucking monkey!
730
00:56:45,710 --> 00:56:47,431
Hand him over, now!
731
00:56:47,925 --> 00:56:50,282
God, I've never given him no monkeys.
732
00:56:50,757 --> 00:56:53,316
No, no ...
733
00:56:55,189 --> 00:56:58,965
Hey Phil, check it out. He's got a banana
on his helmet. He's the real deal.
734
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:00,261
What the fuck's happening?
735
00:57:00,373 --> 00:57:03,281
Hold on! How did this happen? Do you
know where our friend is?
736
00:57:03,395 --> 00:57:07,984
- Yeah. Sixteen years old. Asian kid.
- (says something in Russian?)
737
00:57:08,661 --> 00:57:10,567
No, I don't understand what you said! No, I
didn't understand!
738
00:57:10,913 --> 00:57:13,291
What'd he say?
739
00:57:13,385 --> 00:57:15,437
He said fuck you and your questions!
740
00:57:18,044 --> 00:57:21,593
- Oh, my arm!
- Philip, are you okay?
741
00:57:22,114 --> 00:57:24,316
Oh I got shot! Fuck! Fuck this!
742
00:57:26,079 --> 00:57:27,908
It's alright, Phil! It's alright!
743
00:57:28,015 --> 00:57:30,312
We'll figure this out and get the monkey
back, I promise.
744
00:57:30,425 --> 00:57:34,355
Who gives a fuck about the monkey!
745
00:57:34,583 --> 00:57:40,547
- What the fuck is going on?
- Stu, am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor.
746
00:57:40,674 --> 00:57:42,363
I don't know, let me look!
747
00:57:44,604 --> 00:57:45,728
What?
748
00:57:46,895 --> 00:57:48,265
Don't look at it!
749
00:57:48,476 --> 00:57:51,788
Stuart Price! Get your ass back over here!
750
00:57:51,899 --> 00:57:53,555
- You got shot!
- I know!
751
00:58:09,541 --> 00:58:12,743
- Whoa, you all right?
- Yeah, I'm ok.
752
00:58:13,933 --> 00:58:17,844
Actually, bullet just grazed my arm.
Eight stitches.
753
00:58:18,544 --> 00:58:21,425
Only cost six dollars. How is that even
possible?
754
00:58:21,539 --> 00:58:23,534
How's any of this even possible?
755
00:58:27,208 --> 00:58:30,614
If I was a foot to my left, Stu, I'd be dead.
756
00:58:32,929 --> 00:58:34,528
What are we gonna do?
757
00:58:40,072 --> 00:58:42,342
I'm sorry guys. This wasn't part of the plan.
758
00:58:44,435 --> 00:58:48,935
- What plan, Alan?
- I've said too much already.
759
00:58:57,206 --> 00:58:59,634
Alan! What plan?
760
00:59:01,873 --> 00:59:05,181
- It's all Teddy's fault.
- What are you talking about, Alan?
761
00:59:05,313 --> 00:59:07,558
Why is he even here? He's not part of
the wolf pack!
762
00:59:07,672 --> 00:59:11,523
- Alan, what did you do?
- It's not my fault!
763
00:59:11,541 --> 00:59:14,596
Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag.
764
00:59:15,618 --> 00:59:18,029
- What bag?
- The marshmallows.
765
00:59:18,125 --> 00:59:19,881
I had a separate bag just for Teddy.
766
00:59:20,002 --> 00:59:21,646
But it was dark and it was hard to keep
track.
767
00:59:21,772 --> 00:59:25,110
And then, you almost sat on em. I couldn't
tell which was which.
768
00:59:25,224 --> 00:59:28,062
- It was mayhem!
- What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan?
769
00:59:28,659 --> 00:59:31,154
Alan, what did you do?
770
00:59:31,563 --> 00:59:33,273
Isn't it obvious?
771
00:59:33,366 --> 00:59:37,634
I spiked them with muscle relaxers. And
plus my ADHD medication.
772
00:59:37,773 --> 00:59:39,718
- What?
- You drugged us again?!
773
00:59:39,818 --> 00:59:43,744
Not you! I just wanted to knock out Teddy for a
little while so we could finally enjoy the weekend.
774
00:59:43,858 --> 00:59:48,302
Enjoy the weekend? Alan, you told me that
you didn't do anything!
775
00:59:48,451 --> 00:59:50,173
Alan, you swore to god!
776
00:59:50,378 --> 00:59:52,208
I just wanted things to stay the same.
777
00:59:52,358 --> 00:59:56,953
Like at my face! You ruined my life!
778
00:59:57,375 --> 00:59:58,658
You're not my friend!
779
00:59:58,759 --> 01:00:01,401
Don't say that, Phil! You're serious?
Even in America?
780
01:00:01,509 --> 01:00:05,424
- Yes!
- Oh God! Don't say that, Phil!
781
01:00:05,549 --> 01:00:08,515
- Don't start crying, Alan!
- You're the bearded devil!
782
01:00:08,609 --> 01:00:11,589
You liked it! You smiled at me when I
handed you the bag with marshmallows.
783
01:00:11,724 --> 01:00:15,747
Because I like marshmallows, you
fucking psycho!
784
01:00:16,639 --> 01:00:19,263
Hey! Whoa! Hold on!
785
01:00:19,487 --> 01:00:21,000
Enough!
786
01:00:21,246 --> 01:00:24,047
- Why, Alan? Why?
- Stu!
787
01:00:24,359 --> 01:00:26,544
Because we're the three best
friends, remember?
788
01:00:26,970 --> 01:00:28,753
Remember?
789
01:00:28,754 --> 01:00:30,347
Stu, that's enough...
790
01:00:35,298 --> 01:00:38,265
Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta
stick together.
791
01:00:43,751 --> 01:00:46,721
- Alan, what's that written on your belly?
- What? Huh?
792
01:00:48,050 --> 01:00:51,246
Lebua Hotel, Saturday six pm.
793
01:00:51,344 --> 01:00:53,137
- You write that?
- No!
794
01:00:55,236 --> 01:00:57,256
Shit, that's in 20 minutes.
795
01:00:57,905 --> 01:00:59,761
What about England, Phil? Will we still
be friends there?
796
01:00:59,878 --> 01:01:04,841
Alan, I already told you. It was in the heat of the
moment. We're still friends. All over the world.
797
01:01:05,011 --> 01:01:07,723
- Even Great Britain?
- Yeah.
798
01:01:10,051 --> 01:01:11,663
What about you, Stu?
799
01:01:12,934 --> 01:01:14,331
We'll see.
800
01:01:16,073 --> 01:01:17,803
Gentlemen, follow me.
801
01:01:32,721 --> 01:01:33,992
Here you go.
802
01:01:38,571 --> 01:01:40,592
Well. About time! Sit down.
803
01:01:41,246 --> 01:01:43,179
Come on, sit.
804
01:01:44,140 --> 01:01:45,901
Wow, you guys look like shit.
805
01:01:48,877 --> 01:01:50,259
- Uh, do we know you?
- Hey!
806
01:01:50,389 --> 01:01:53,699
Take off your fuckin hat. You're in a
restaurant for christs sake. C'mon.
807
01:01:59,335 --> 01:02:02,285
Ok, listen. We have no clue what's
going on here.
808
01:02:02,394 --> 01:02:06,237
You know, they sell a Plum whiskey here,
it's fuckin unreal.
809
01:02:06,585 --> 01:02:14,005
Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up! Oh, I'm
sorry. You guys already got fucked up, didn't you.
810
01:02:15,655 --> 01:02:21,044
- Uh, listen, I'm a little confused. How did you...
- You know what? I am a little fuckin confused!
811
01:02:21,162 --> 01:02:28,013
Where's Chow? With the fuckin account
code and the fuckin password!
812
01:02:33,483 --> 01:02:39,220
We don't know anything about any codes. We're
just trying to find our friend.
813
01:02:41,708 --> 01:02:46,208
- Teddy?
- Yes! Teddy! Have you seen?
814
01:02:50,192 --> 01:02:51,499
Hmm, let's see...
815
01:02:53,109 --> 01:02:54,443
There's Teddy!
816
01:02:55,597 --> 01:02:58,724
Holy shit! It's from last night.
817
01:03:00,365 --> 01:03:03,459
- Who are you?
- I'm a businessman.
818
01:03:03,673 --> 01:03:07,889
And I've invested a large chunk of capital
in your friend Chow.
819
01:03:08,162 --> 01:03:11,975
And in return, he was supposed to transfer
my profits electronically.
820
01:03:12,088 --> 01:03:15,351
About five fuckin minutes ago.
821
01:03:16,261 --> 01:03:20,020
So last night, we took Teddy as insurance.
822
01:03:20,802 --> 01:03:26,189
- Oh my god! Is he okay?
- Oh my god, I wasn't done talking.
823
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:30,462
You tell Chow, that we are having breakfast
on the roof of this hotel...
824
01:03:30,555 --> 01:03:34,121
...tomorrow morning at eight am.
825
01:03:34,219 --> 01:03:36,264
Or if he makes the transfer, you will
get Teddy.
826
01:03:36,385 --> 01:03:39,952
If not well then hey, you know...
it's Bangkok.
827
01:03:42,703 --> 01:03:44,819
That's your cue to get the fuck out of here.
828
01:03:51,526 --> 01:03:53,305
Hey, you know what? Leave the hat.
829
01:03:55,164 --> 01:03:56,463
Alan leave the hat.
830
01:03:58,724 --> 01:04:00,243
Atta boy.
831
01:04:09,478 --> 01:04:13,099
We're fucked! Chow's dead. What do we do now?
832
01:04:13,193 --> 01:04:16,695
The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow, Stu.
This whole things about a fucking bank account.
833
01:04:19,105 --> 01:04:21,757
Let's just go back to the hotel. We'll
search Chow's body.
834
01:04:21,855 --> 01:04:24,493
Hopefully the password's in his
wallet or something.
835
01:04:25,149 --> 01:04:27,527
- And what if it isn't?
- He's gonna kill Teddy.
836
01:04:27,638 --> 01:04:31,418
Just relax. We have until 8am tomorrow
to figure it out.
837
01:04:34,776 --> 01:04:39,755
First the monkey and now my hat. How
much worse can this day get.
838
01:04:43,826 --> 01:04:45,665
Jesus christ!
839
01:04:53,076 --> 01:05:03,429
Well we're livin here in Alan town. And
he's drivin our lives into the ground.
840
01:05:04,285 --> 01:05:08,530
When we woke up we were wasted and drunk.
841
01:05:08,628 --> 01:05:14,349
Phil got shot. We got beaten by a monk.
842
01:05:16,610 --> 01:05:21,366
I was happy, and my life was good.
843
01:05:21,916 --> 01:05:26,460
Getting married like a dentist should.
844
01:05:26,561 --> 01:05:30,180
Roasting marshmallows on a stick.
845
01:05:30,324 --> 01:05:36,675
I got fucked in the ass... by a girl
with a dick.
846
01:05:37,867 --> 01:05:39,572
Oh yeah, remember that.
847
01:05:42,198 --> 01:05:46,427
And we're livin in Alan town.
848
01:05:48,971 --> 01:05:50,420
There's water everywhere.
849
01:05:51,235 --> 01:05:54,161
Yeah it's cause it melted, Stu. The
fuckin powers out.
850
01:05:54,245 --> 01:05:57,077
With an inadequate electrical grid,
serving millions of people
851
01:05:57,189 --> 01:06:00,466
Bangkok experiences 1500 power
outages per year.
852
01:06:00,577 --> 01:06:02,565
Seriously, Alan. That's enough!
853
01:06:02,728 --> 01:06:04,114
Out of the way!
854
01:06:10,659 --> 01:06:11,928
We got it.
855
01:06:16,670 --> 01:06:19,336
Oh my god!
856
01:06:20,819 --> 01:06:23,672
Chow, calm down!
857
01:06:23,767 --> 01:06:25,550
- You put the chill on me?
- No, no!
858
01:06:29,380 --> 01:06:30,929
It's okay.
859
01:06:31,496 --> 01:06:33,273
Relax!
860
01:06:41,708 --> 01:06:45,929
It's just us. Breathe!
861
01:06:46,074 --> 01:06:47,268
It was so cold.
862
01:06:47,368 --> 01:06:49,710
- We're gonna warm you up.
- I was so cold!
863
01:06:50,778 --> 01:06:54,639
- You did good, buddy. You did good.
- I did good.
864
01:07:00,175 --> 01:07:01,367
Feelin better?
865
01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:05,363
- Alright, you warm enough?
- I don't know.
866
01:07:05,468 --> 01:07:07,374
Come feel my bowels and tell me.
867
01:07:07,471 --> 01:07:10,377
I've been locked in a fuckin ice box
all day!
868
01:07:10,858 --> 01:07:13,514
Hey Alan, if you want my sunglasses...
869
01:07:13,610 --> 01:07:16,690
...just ask Chow. You don't have to kill me.
870
01:07:16,787 --> 01:07:20,843
Chow, nobody killed you. You were already
dead. You didn't have a pulse.
871
01:07:20,956 --> 01:07:22,866
Oh, you never do blow before?
872
01:07:22,977 --> 01:07:25,194
Sometimes your heart stop... start
up again.
873
01:07:25,633 --> 01:07:28,807
- Read a book!
- Look I'm sorry. We're having a bad day.
874
01:07:28,918 --> 01:07:32,567
Oh, you're having a bad day! Did you die?
875
01:07:33,271 --> 01:07:36,037
- I got shot!
- But did you die?
876
01:07:36,238 --> 01:07:39,678
Chow, some guy told us that you got
a bank code or something...
877
01:07:39,765 --> 01:07:41,902
...and if we don't bring it to him first
think in the morning...
878
01:07:43,227 --> 01:07:44,718
...he's gonna kill Teddy.
879
01:07:44,719 --> 01:07:51,168
Who, Kingsley? He harmless. Don't worry.
I got the bank codes.
880
01:07:52,008 --> 01:07:57,090
Great! Alright, we gotta meet him at 8am.
Who is that fuckin guy, anyway?
881
01:07:57,186 --> 01:08:00,686
- An investor in my business.
- Yeah, what business is that?
882
01:08:00,781 --> 01:08:03,339
It's called "not your business" ok!
883
01:08:04,074 --> 01:08:07,426
- Oh, where's the monkey?
- The monkey...
884
01:08:07,576 --> 01:08:11,563
Yeah I put the account number and
password in his vest. Where is he?
885
01:08:14,420 --> 01:08:17,939
- Why would you do that?
- Safe keeping, pretty boy.
886
01:08:18,036 --> 01:08:25,462
I got a lotta heat on my ass. I got
FBI, Bangkok PD, Interpol, MSNBC...
887
01:08:26,022 --> 01:08:27,993
That little monkey snorting coke with me
all night...
888
01:08:28,101 --> 01:08:31,100
Jerkin me off while I watched Stu make
fuckin lady boy.
889
01:08:31,426 --> 01:08:35,169
- He not going anywhere.
- We don't have the monkey, Chow.
890
01:08:35,267 --> 01:08:38,148
Oh, some Russian thugs took him from us.
891
01:08:38,244 --> 01:08:40,301
Oh you fucking guys!
892
01:08:41,195 --> 01:08:44,962
Okay. No problem. We just have to get
him back.
893
01:08:45,105 --> 01:08:48,412
- From where?
- From the same place we took him from.
894
01:09:10,049 --> 01:09:12,235
This monkey isn't just normal monkey.
895
01:09:25,375 --> 01:09:27,966
Every night, monkey drug mule.
896
01:09:29,564 --> 01:09:31,814
He take coke to buyer...
897
01:09:35,015 --> 01:09:38,781
And deliver cash to dealer. He
middle man.
898
01:09:39,498 --> 01:09:41,708
Dealer never handle drug directly.
899
01:09:42,434 --> 01:09:43,989
He clean.
900
01:09:45,782 --> 01:09:50,178
- That's terrible.
- Not terrible. What he talking about. Fucking genius.
901
01:09:50,553 --> 01:09:52,460
You ever see monkey go to jail?
902
01:09:54,329 --> 01:09:58,780
We just take the monkey for deal, he come
close, we take his vest. That's that.
903
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:03,846
- We get some blow too, you know... bump.
- No, no more bumps, Chow.
904
01:10:06,069 --> 01:10:07,843
This is ridiculous.
905
01:10:10,292 --> 01:10:13,108
Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle. Shake your
monkey.
906
01:10:25,196 --> 01:10:26,353
Alright, here we go.
907
01:10:26,438 --> 01:10:27,836
Come on!
908
01:10:33,012 --> 01:10:35,228
How did we wind up with the monkey
last night anyway?
909
01:10:35,324 --> 01:10:37,558
I needed some blow and Alan thought
he was cute...
910
01:10:37,686 --> 01:10:38,971
...so we stole him!
911
01:10:51,300 --> 01:10:52,747
So stupid!
912
01:10:52,748 --> 01:10:54,313
Stu, ready to grab vest?
913
01:10:54,444 --> 01:10:59,100
- Okay. I just grab it?
- Yeah, just do it. Just do it.
914
01:10:59,230 --> 01:11:02,032
- Hey, little monkey.
- Alan, be quiet.
915
01:11:05,401 --> 01:11:08,176
- Fuck!
- We gotta go, right now!
916
01:11:09,116 --> 01:11:12,590
- Pull that fuckin monkey in!
- I'm trying!
917
01:11:17,066 --> 01:11:18,170
Shit!
918
01:11:21,807 --> 01:11:25,061
- Get that monkey in here, Stu!
- He won't let go!
919
01:11:26,069 --> 01:11:28,238
Stu, get back in the car! Right now!
920
01:11:28,821 --> 01:11:30,876
I'm trying! Slow down!
921
01:11:37,305 --> 01:11:39,151
He's so strong!
922
01:11:42,438 --> 01:11:44,438
Let go you fuckin monkey!
923
01:11:45,514 --> 01:11:49,454
- Look out!
- Oh shit! Tight squeeze!
924
01:11:51,477 --> 01:11:52,784
I got him!
925
01:11:56,229 --> 01:11:59,602
- Where's the code, Chow?
- Check his little vest.
926
01:12:03,136 --> 01:12:05,398
- Got it, Alan?
- Yes, I got a .
927
01:12:05,497 --> 01:12:08,885
- Slow down Chow!
- Hold on, J-Birds.
928
01:12:12,533 --> 01:12:14,077
Holy Shit!
929
01:12:15,574 --> 01:12:17,560
Don't worry. I got this shit!
930
01:12:19,813 --> 01:12:21,392
Pig!
931
01:12:25,638 --> 01:12:26,990
Oh, my word.
932
01:12:27,187 --> 01:12:28,586
Sorry, Stu! My bad!
933
01:12:34,535 --> 01:12:35,671
Oh, shit!
934
01:12:36,910 --> 01:12:38,053
Get down!
935
01:12:38,447 --> 01:12:39,905
What the fuck!
936
01:12:40,962 --> 01:12:43,696
Oh no! He shot the monkey!
937
01:12:43,940 --> 01:12:46,559
They shot the monkey.
938
01:12:46,700 --> 01:12:48,499
I'm at my wits end.
939
01:12:51,500 --> 01:12:53,193
He's coming back around.
940
01:12:53,872 --> 01:12:55,083
Look out!
941
01:12:58,993 --> 01:13:01,795
- Holy fuck!
- Oh no...
942
01:13:21,230 --> 01:13:23,238
- Everyone alright?
- Yeah.
943
01:13:24,403 --> 01:13:27,060
I have such an erection right now!
944
01:13:31,477 --> 01:13:32,843
Are you for real?
945
01:13:47,642 --> 01:13:49,971
They're gonna take good care of you
here, ok.
946
01:13:52,528 --> 01:13:53,882
What's that?
947
01:13:56,433 --> 01:14:01,236
Oh, yeah. Cigarettes. Got em right here.
Here you go.
948
01:14:05,562 --> 01:14:06,960
Right here.
949
01:14:09,931 --> 01:14:13,041
Deep breathe. Good.
950
01:14:14,403 --> 01:14:16,768
Soak it in.
951
01:14:17,024 --> 01:14:20,319
Breathe the smoke into your tiny
little lungs. There you go.
952
01:14:21,555 --> 01:14:24,110
It's funny. I've never been much of a
smoker, but...
953
01:14:25,546 --> 01:14:27,611
Boy does it look cool on you.
954
01:14:27,941 --> 01:14:30,593
Alan, c'mon! Let's go!
955
01:14:33,752 --> 01:14:35,640
I'll miss you, monkey.
956
01:14:38,559 --> 01:14:40,787
I wish monkeys could Skype.
957
01:14:42,544 --> 01:14:44,225
Maybe one day...
958
01:14:51,862 --> 01:14:54,423
Come on! Get in!
959
01:15:30,739 --> 01:15:32,661
Are you guys seriously this calm?
960
01:15:32,787 --> 01:15:35,393
Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo.
961
01:15:35,491 --> 01:15:37,401
I give him money, he gives us Teddy.
962
01:15:37,677 --> 01:15:40,229
You ever do anything that doesn't end
up in a standoff, Chow?
963
01:15:40,327 --> 01:15:43,634
I'm an international criminal. It always
ends like this.
964
01:15:43,747 --> 01:15:45,510
I met my wife at one of these things.
965
01:15:46,474 --> 01:15:50,707
- You got a wife?
- Yeah, we married 15 years.
966
01:15:50,802 --> 01:15:53,424
What, I not good looking enough for woman?
967
01:15:54,547 --> 01:15:56,261
No, that's cool.
968
01:15:57,983 --> 01:15:59,015
Let's do this!
969
01:15:59,139 --> 01:16:01,924
- Welcome to the Tower Club.
- Blah blah blah, who cares.
970
01:16:03,522 --> 01:16:05,899
Stop! Chow crossing.
971
01:16:09,420 --> 01:16:12,705
- Hey, Kingsley!
- Well, well.
972
01:16:12,835 --> 01:16:14,664
Propecia looking nice!
973
01:16:14,855 --> 01:16:16,808
You been hitting the gym?
974
01:16:17,009 --> 01:16:20,198
Yes I am actually. Thank you for
noticing, Chow.
975
01:16:20,505 --> 01:16:22,301
Hey, guys. Have a seat.
976
01:16:23,263 --> 01:16:26,550
- Where's Teddy?
- He's waiting downstairs in my car.
977
01:16:26,815 --> 01:16:28,974
Send him up when the transfer is complete.
978
01:16:29,072 --> 01:16:31,956
Tell you what. Give me extra 50 grand, you
keep Teddy.
979
01:16:32,051 --> 01:16:34,777
And I throw in this other fat fuck for free.
980
01:16:36,955 --> 01:16:39,857
- Chow.. Chow...
- Could we move this along!
981
01:16:40,006 --> 01:16:44,510
Alan, account number. Come on, come on.
982
01:16:44,657 --> 01:16:54,693
8-1-4, K as in knife, 2-3-9-8.
983
01:16:55,897 --> 01:16:58,728
- Password?
- "baloney1"
984
01:16:59,397 --> 01:17:00,814
Your password is "baloney1" ?
985
01:17:00,946 --> 01:17:03,841
Well it used to be just "baloney" but
now they make you add number.
986
01:17:04,091 --> 01:17:06,026
Fuckin annoying.
987
01:17:17,349 --> 01:17:18,847
- And it's that easy.
- Ta dah!
988
01:17:20,296 --> 01:17:22,299
Oh look. You sunk my battleship.
989
01:17:23,979 --> 01:17:31,081
- Great, now can we please have Teddy?
- Yeah. Bring him up.
990
01:17:32,019 --> 01:17:35,391
See. We go to your wedding. We have fun. I
bust a nut.
991
01:17:35,505 --> 01:17:37,576
We did it, Stu. It's over!
992
01:17:47,183 --> 01:17:49,819
This is Bangkok police! Everybody down!
993
01:17:52,929 --> 01:17:54,185
Oh, nuts!
994
01:17:54,320 --> 01:17:56,531
Kingsley, you're fucking Five-O?
995
01:17:56,643 --> 01:17:58,012
Gotcha, Leslie!
996
01:17:58,288 --> 01:17:59,346
Get him outta here.
997
01:17:59,464 --> 01:18:00,912
Go! Just do it! Go!
998
01:18:06,005 --> 01:18:07,549
How the fuck...
999
01:18:08,156 --> 01:18:12,956
Samir, you fucked me over six grand?
You camel jockey!
1000
01:18:15,028 --> 01:18:17,568
You spit on me?
1001
01:18:18,362 --> 01:18:22,890
Six grand this time, eight grand last time.
It's not the money, man, it's the principle!
1002
01:18:22,988 --> 01:18:25,941
Principle? Nigga, please! We both dead inside.
1003
01:18:26,032 --> 01:18:28,426
Call me nigga... don't call me "nigga"!
1004
01:18:28,513 --> 01:18:31,393
- Put em in, motherfucker!
- He's an asshole, man.
1005
01:18:32,772 --> 01:18:34,219
You guys ok?
1006
01:18:34,337 --> 01:18:37,591
- What the fucks going on?
- Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol.
1007
01:18:37,688 --> 01:18:39,012
- You're a cop?
- Yes.
1008
01:18:39,125 --> 01:18:40,983
This sting operation has been in place
for weeks.
1009
01:18:41,836 --> 01:18:44,379
When Samir told us that your friend
was lost...
1010
01:18:44,577 --> 01:18:49,217
We took advantage of that information.
I'm sorry.
1011
01:18:50,704 --> 01:18:54,612
- So can Teddy come out of the car now?
- No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fuckin car!
1012
01:18:54,709 --> 01:18:56,623
They don't have him. They never had him.
1013
01:18:57,191 --> 01:19:01,304
They just needed us to bring them Chow.
They used Teddy as bait.
1014
01:19:02,813 --> 01:19:05,795
- Do you have any leads at all?
- No. We've checked everywhere.
1015
01:19:05,958 --> 01:19:07,919
No one has seen him. I'm sorry.
1016
01:19:08,987 --> 01:19:13,937
If you haven't found him by now, I'm afraid
Bangkok has him.
1017
01:19:18,631 --> 01:19:20,895
Why do people keep saying that?
1018
01:19:23,584 --> 01:19:27,188
Stu... It's time.
1019
01:19:32,624 --> 01:19:33,910
Alan...
1020
01:19:34,951 --> 01:19:39,398
-I'm sorry.
- Don't say that. Please.
1021
01:19:39,512 --> 01:19:43,788
- No this time we really fucked up.
- Oh god! How bad?
1022
01:19:43,991 --> 01:19:45,994
Like, no wedding bad?
1023
01:19:47,994 --> 01:19:49,655
Yeah... a little worse than that!
1024
01:20:16,333 --> 01:20:20,180
Ok, how about this? He fell off
the fishing boat and drowned.
1025
01:20:21,691 --> 01:20:23,038
No.
1026
01:20:24,383 --> 01:20:27,604
Ok, I got it. Teddy was hit by a truck.
1027
01:20:28,449 --> 01:20:31,560
- Alan!
- Not a good time, Phil. Kinda busy!
1028
01:20:31,673 --> 01:20:33,521
How many people get run over here?
1029
01:20:33,630 --> 01:20:36,980
- Over 1200 a year, Phil.
- Perfect!
1030
01:20:37,371 --> 01:20:40,405
His body was too mangled to recover.
Case closed.
1031
01:20:42,118 --> 01:20:43,743
Can I get more ice, please?
1032
01:20:44,968 --> 01:20:46,527
I'm not gonna lie to Lauren.
1033
01:20:46,659 --> 01:20:54,280
- Stu, do you want this or not?
- Look at what I've done, Phil. What I do.
1034
01:20:57,438 --> 01:21:02,177
I have a weakness for prostitutes. All
kinds, apparently.
1035
01:21:06,549 --> 01:21:11,299
- I have a demon in me!
- So what?
1036
01:21:12,784 --> 01:21:15,874
Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren.
1037
01:21:15,988 --> 01:21:17,946
Just let her live her life without me.
1038
01:21:17,979 --> 01:21:19,279
Stu!
1039
01:21:19,388 --> 01:21:22,701
I want you to call Doug and tell him I'm
never coming back.
1040
01:21:23,240 --> 01:21:25,172
Gettin off the hamster wheel.
1041
01:21:26,755 --> 01:21:30,399
Gonna stay here in Bangkok.
I think I belong here.
1042
01:21:31,392 --> 01:21:33,558
Open up a little dentists office.
1043
01:21:34,910 --> 01:21:37,057
Deep cleanings, with a happy ending.
1044
01:21:41,277 --> 01:21:42,667
You sure about this?
1045
01:21:50,323 --> 01:21:52,745
Hey, what the crud!
1046
01:21:54,307 --> 01:21:55,743
Powers out, Alan.
1047
01:22:00,120 --> 01:22:01,259
- Phil!
- Doug.
1048
01:22:01,442 --> 01:22:03,833
- I need answers, man.
- I know...
1049
01:22:04,792 --> 01:22:05,773
Doug, who are you talking to?
1050
01:22:05,868 --> 01:22:06,795
- What?
- Give me the phone!
1051
01:22:06,910 --> 01:22:08,067
Lauren, no! That's a private...
1052
01:22:08,155 --> 01:22:09,292
Who is this?
1053
01:22:09,387 --> 01:22:12,858
- Lauren?
- Phil? Tell me what's going on, right now!
1054
01:22:13,460 --> 01:22:15,026
We lost your little brother.
1055
01:22:15,469 --> 01:22:18,300
- What?
- Bangkok has him now.
1056
01:22:26,140 --> 01:22:27,517
You gotta take the stairs.
1057
01:22:28,075 --> 01:22:29,668
You're in Bangkok?
1058
01:22:34,343 --> 01:22:35,792
Ooh, that's a finger!
1059
01:22:37,029 --> 01:22:38,352
Put Stu on the phone!
1060
01:22:39,200 --> 01:22:42,745
Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages
per year.
1061
01:22:42,962 --> 01:22:45,144
Stu really doesn't want to talk to anybody.
1062
01:22:45,872 --> 01:22:47,275
- Water everywhere. Powers out.
1063
01:22:47,390 --> 01:22:49,769
Come on, Stu, use that big Jewish brain
1064
01:22:52,534 --> 01:22:55,341
Phil! Give me the phone!
1065
01:22:55,469 --> 01:22:57,338
- It's Lauren! I got it! I'm handling it!
- I know.!
1066
01:22:57,452 --> 01:22:59,227
- Give me the fuckin...
- I can handle it, Stu!
1067
01:22:59,324 --> 01:23:00,875
She's gonna break your heart!
1068
01:23:00,970 --> 01:23:03,415
Honey, sweetheart, it's me! I'm so sorry!
1069
01:23:03,529 --> 01:23:07,321
Stu? What the hell is going on? What does he
mean you lost Teddy?
1070
01:23:07,439 --> 01:23:12,322
What? Is that what Phil said?
No no no. We misplaced, Teddy.
1071
01:23:12,434 --> 01:23:15,124
But we're all good now. We heading back to the
hotel. We're gonna see you soon!
1072
01:23:16,545 --> 01:23:21,563
I love you so much! And I gotta go, but
I'll see you soon. Bye.
1073
01:23:24,743 --> 01:23:25,803
Stu!
1074
01:23:29,274 --> 01:23:30,955
- Stu!
- God!
1075
01:23:32,251 --> 01:23:34,741
Taxi!
1076
01:23:34,986 --> 01:23:37,237
Come on, Alan!
1077
01:23:39,797 --> 01:23:41,390
Hey, you mind filling us in!
1078
01:23:41,615 --> 01:23:44,058
Ok, now when we woke up, the power was out.
1079
01:23:44,176 --> 01:23:46,455
And you found Teddy's finger in what?
1080
01:23:46,701 --> 01:23:49,727
- In a pool of water.
- But it didn't start out as water.
1081
01:23:49,906 --> 01:23:51,538
No, it was ice.
1082
01:23:51,629 --> 01:23:53,246
Exactly! Teddy got ice from the machine...
1083
01:23:53,374 --> 01:23:56,005
...came back to the room. Put his finger
on ice and fell asleep.
1084
01:23:56,006 --> 01:23:56,984
Now what do you do if you wake up...
1085
01:23:57,064 --> 01:23:59,738
...and you find your finger floating in
a bowl of melted ice?
1086
01:23:59,899 --> 01:24:03,332
I'd get more ice, Stu... on the 15th
fuckin floor!
1087
01:24:03,463 --> 01:24:06,574
Yes! Teddy goes up, the power goes out...
1088
01:24:06,671 --> 01:24:11,988
- Holy shit! Of course!
- He's at the ice machine.
1089
01:24:12,486 --> 01:24:14,212
Alan, no!
1090
01:24:17,541 --> 01:24:18,755
It's on ten!
1091
01:24:19,199 --> 01:24:21,626
- Sir, is the elevator stuck?
- ??.
1092
01:24:22,078 --> 01:24:23,092
- C'mon!
- Go, go, go!
1093
01:24:27,631 --> 01:24:29,749
Hey, Teddy!
1094
01:24:30,110 --> 01:24:32,196
Look out, look out!
1095
01:24:40,885 --> 01:24:42,669
- Teddy!
- You're ok!
1096
01:24:44,350 --> 01:24:46,698
Teddy, you okay? You ok, man?
1097
01:24:47,408 --> 01:24:50,470
- Where am I?
- You're in an elevator, in the middle of Bangkok.
1098
01:24:50,747 --> 01:24:52,863
But we're gonna get you outta here. It's
gonna be fine.
1099
01:24:53,107 --> 01:24:56,402
Hey Stu, nice tattoo.
1100
01:24:58,694 --> 01:24:59,850
Thanks, man.
1101
01:24:59,985 --> 01:25:01,448
Alright, let's do this! C'mon, c'mon!
1102
01:25:02,289 --> 01:25:08,972
Tell him we found him.
Yeah, I know. But we're on our way. Ok, bye!
1103
01:25:09,292 --> 01:25:14,552
Alright, guests are arriving, people starting
to ask questions, but we can still pull this off!
1104
01:25:14,684 --> 01:25:17,438
- How?
- I don't know, with a taxi?
1105
01:25:17,531 --> 01:25:18,990
- Chow's speed boat.
- What?
1106
01:25:19,131 --> 01:25:21,394
Last think I remember, was getting off
Chow's speed boat.
1107
01:25:21,525 --> 01:25:24,995
- Chow has a speed boat?
- "The Perfect Life".
1108
01:25:26,197 --> 01:25:27,421
C'mon!
1109
01:25:31,476 --> 01:25:32,842
Stu, get that back line.
1110
01:25:35,167 --> 01:25:36,337
Good jump, Phil!
1111
01:25:39,027 --> 01:25:40,179
- You alright?
- Yeah.
1112
01:25:41,389 --> 01:25:44,351
- You sure you know how to drive this thing?
1113
01:25:44,367 --> 01:25:46,107
Please, I was raised in a yacht club. I
know what I'm doing.
1114
01:26:10,252 --> 01:26:11,540
You know where we're going?
1115
01:26:12,731 --> 01:26:14,474
Leave it to the Captain!
1116
01:26:14,717 --> 01:26:16,505
Oh fuck you, Alan!
1117
01:26:18,205 --> 01:26:21,099
Do you know where we're going, Captain?
1118
01:26:22,070 --> 01:26:24,250
Affirmative cadet!
We're going south.
1119
01:26:24,806 --> 01:26:28,111
- We're in the Gulf of Thailand.
- Good.
1120
01:26:50,142 --> 01:26:52,376
Hey! You okay?
1121
01:26:53,813 --> 01:26:56,234
- Feeling a little better.
- Alright!
1122
01:26:57,690 --> 01:27:02,216
Listen Teddy. I'm really sorry! We didn't
mean for any of this to happen.
1123
01:27:03,037 --> 01:27:12,285
It's funny. I can't remember anything
But... when I woke up, I was kinda happy.
1124
01:27:13,261 --> 01:27:14,546
Yeah!
1125
01:27:16,238 --> 01:27:19,908
By the way... Do you have any idea
where my finger is?
1126
01:27:20,001 --> 01:27:22,384
Yeah, we gave it to a drug dealing
monkey.
1127
01:27:26,094 --> 01:27:27,524
Bangkok...
1128
01:27:28,033 --> 01:27:31,784
Yeah, right... fuckin Bangkok!
1129
01:27:45,846 --> 01:27:47,917
I apologize. There will be no wedding!
1130
01:27:48,030 --> 01:27:50,033
He is on his way. He will be here...
1131
01:27:50,163 --> 01:27:54,495
Please, if you will all move to the bar.
We are going to clear this area.
1132
01:27:54,779 --> 01:27:56,353
Please!
1133
01:27:59,257 --> 01:28:01,680
I'm telling you, I spoke to him. He's coming.
1134
01:28:05,780 --> 01:28:08,014
Look! There they are!
1135
01:28:12,017 --> 01:28:13,331
Stu!
1136
01:28:19,628 --> 01:28:22,344
- Alan, there's no dock.
- Just hang on!
1137
01:28:22,492 --> 01:28:25,193
- Alan, it's not funny! Turn the boat!
- Hang on!
1138
01:28:25,291 --> 01:28:27,520
- Is that Alan driving the boat?
- What?
1139
01:28:28,206 --> 01:28:30,829
Uh, we should probably move back a little bit.
1140
01:28:32,176 --> 01:28:34,294
Oh my god!
1141
01:28:34,406 --> 01:28:36,507
Turn the boat!
1142
01:28:36,624 --> 01:28:38,074
Everyone back up a little bit here.
1143
01:28:38,186 --> 01:28:40,121
Sir, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.
1144
01:28:57,435 --> 01:29:00,022
Hi! Hi everybody!
1145
01:29:02,155 --> 01:29:06,702
Came in a little hotter than we planned.
I'm sorry we trenched the lawn here.
1146
01:29:07,577 --> 01:29:09,857
Totally fixable. A little bit of sod, it'll
be fine.
1147
01:29:09,972 --> 01:29:11,786
- Baby!
- Oh my god!
1148
01:29:11,973 --> 01:29:13,864
I'm so happy to see you!
1149
01:29:15,412 --> 01:29:19,742
- Teddy! Teddy here.
- Hi, Dad!
1150
01:29:20,674 --> 01:29:22,699
- You alright?
- Yeah, ok.
1151
01:29:24,432 --> 01:29:27,120
- Your hand!
- I know.
1152
01:29:27,257 --> 01:29:29,384
We had an accident. I'm ok.
1153
01:29:31,571 --> 01:29:32,692
This is your fault!
1154
01:29:32,841 --> 01:29:37,707
- Dad.
- He's right. I have not been completely honest.
1155
01:29:37,838 --> 01:29:39,317
- Stu? Don't do this.
-Yeah?
1156
01:29:39,435 --> 01:29:41,125
Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it.
1157
01:29:42,320 --> 01:29:46,730
You said I'm a joke.Well I'm not.
1158
01:29:47,318 --> 01:29:54,856
I'm not some weird, milky, ricy, watery
that you feed to infants and old people, ok!
1159
01:29:54,989 --> 01:29:58,927
Maybe I would be if you added some
cayenne pepper!
1160
01:30:01,616 --> 01:30:03,355
I wish I was a boring dentist...
1161
01:30:03,453 --> 01:30:05,594
...who had a boring life and boring friends...
1162
01:30:05,701 --> 01:30:07,508
... but I don't and I'm not.
1163
01:30:08,258 --> 01:30:10,575
I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack.
1164
01:30:10,753 --> 01:30:14,223
It's not weird. It's pretty cool
actually. No membership fees.
1165
01:30:14,333 --> 01:30:16,839
I've had enough of this. Come here.
1166
01:30:17,066 --> 01:30:21,158
Whoa! Here's the deal man.
1167
01:30:21,435 --> 01:30:25,251
- I got a dark side!
1168
01:30:25,347 --> 01:30:27,334
There's a demon in me!
1169
01:30:28,253 --> 01:30:30,241
It's true, he has semen in him.
1170
01:30:30,984 --> 01:30:32,222
I said demon.
1171
01:30:32,772 --> 01:30:37,187
- But you also have semen in you, remember?
- Not relevant, but thank you, Alan.
1172
01:30:39,486 --> 01:30:45,164
The point is, this demon takes me to
some pretty weird places.
1173
01:30:45,346 --> 01:30:48,323
We lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok.
1174
01:30:49,203 --> 01:30:53,196
But that same demon took us to
hell and back to find him.
1175
01:30:53,293 --> 01:30:55,800
We took on Bangkok and we won.
1176
01:30:55,947 --> 01:30:58,619
Now that's pretty fuckin cool if you ask me!
1177
01:31:03,685 --> 01:31:07,867
I love your daughter, and I'm
gonna marry her.
1178
01:31:07,967 --> 01:31:10,327
- Unless you have any problem with that?
- I'm good.
1179
01:31:12,120 --> 01:31:17,022
But all that said, it would actually mean
a great deal to both of us...
1180
01:31:17,282 --> 01:31:20,457
...if we could just get your mother fucking
blessing!
1181
01:31:37,489 --> 01:31:38,811
Hey, Alan...
1182
01:31:40,145 --> 01:31:43,988
- That looks pretty cool shaved.
- Thanks, Phil.
1183
01:31:44,705 --> 01:31:46,284
You should shave your head too.
1184
01:31:46,709 --> 01:31:50,098
- Why would I do that?
- Well than we would look exactly alike.
1185
01:32:01,974 --> 01:32:05,114
- Take good care of my daughter, Stu.
- I will.
1186
01:32:13,802 --> 01:32:16,225
I'm sorry we almost killed everyone with
the boat.
1187
01:32:16,357 --> 01:32:17,920
Just happy you're here.
1188
01:32:21,063 --> 01:32:24,741
And don't worry about the tattoo. I'm gonna
have it lasered as soon as we're home in LA.
1189
01:32:24,916 --> 01:32:29,009
- That's ok. I can get used to it.
- Really?
1190
01:32:32,200 --> 01:32:34,040
But for now, let's switch sides?
1191
01:32:34,530 --> 01:32:36,698
- Yeah, ok.
- Thank you.
1192
01:32:38,143 --> 01:32:39,447
Much better.
1193
01:32:40,883 --> 01:32:44,769
Dear family and friends. On behalf of Stu and Lauren...
1194
01:32:44,900 --> 01:32:49,152
...I welcome all of you, to this
marriage celebration.
1195
01:32:49,566 --> 01:32:51,729
We are here today to...
1196
01:33:47,957 --> 01:33:50,400
Hey buddy. Can you hold on for a second.
1197
01:33:50,776 --> 01:33:52,166
Thank you.
1198
01:33:59,815 --> 01:34:02,392
Hello? Hi everyone!
1199
01:34:03,835 --> 01:34:06,430
My name's Alan Garner.
1200
01:34:06,538 --> 01:34:13,004
I want to thank the Asiatic people for
allowing us in your land.
1201
01:34:14,338 --> 01:34:18,622
I wanted to say that, um, I'm really
happy to be here...
1202
01:34:18,756 --> 01:34:22,907
...and I have a wedding gift to present
to Lauren and Stu.
1203
01:34:23,928 --> 01:34:26,756
And um, a lot of thought has gone into this...
1204
01:34:26,890 --> 01:34:31,566
...and I hope that you appreciate it as
much as I did, or going to.
1205
01:34:31,758 --> 01:34:33,211
Okay, guys!
1206
01:34:51,010 --> 01:34:52,501
Oh, fuck!
1207
01:35:13,956 --> 01:35:14,995
Alan!
1208
01:35:17,282 --> 01:35:19,251
What the fuck?
1209
01:35:19,540 --> 01:35:22,880
- So what do ya think?
- That's insane! How did you do that?
1210
01:35:22,976 --> 01:35:24,669
My dad had to make a lot of calls.
1211
01:35:24,783 --> 01:35:28,276
I told Mike that you gotta do it. It's
for my third best friend.
1212
01:35:28,984 --> 01:35:33,042
Alan, it's amazing!
I love it! Thank you so much!
1213
01:35:33,138 --> 01:35:35,990
We only have him for tonight. We don't
have him permanently.
1214
01:35:37,356 --> 01:35:38,986
Understood!
1215
01:35:54,789 --> 01:35:58,573
- You do a lot of public speaking, Alan?
- I barely ??
1216
01:35:59,055 --> 01:36:03,924
Mike, you were great. It's true, that
was incredible.
1217
01:36:04,019 --> 01:36:06,759
Thanks, guys. That means a lot, really!
1218
01:36:07,135 --> 01:36:10,436
By the way, you really need to remove that
fuckin tattoo from your face!
1219
01:36:10,911 --> 01:36:12,459
Yeah! On it!
1220
01:36:15,160 --> 01:36:17,476
Sorry about the last minute change up
to the performance, Mike.
1221
01:36:17,584 --> 01:36:19,262
- Don't worry, Alan.
- What are you talking about?
1222
01:36:19,376 --> 01:36:22,080
Well he was originally supposed to sing
"Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers...
1223
01:36:22,228 --> 01:36:24,363
...but then I remembered you don't like indie rock.
1224
01:36:25,148 --> 01:36:27,543
Hey guys. You're not gonna believe this.
1225
01:36:27,653 --> 01:36:29,774
- Is that your phone?
- Yeah.
1226
01:36:30,122 --> 01:36:32,071
How come you never tried calling us?
1227
01:36:32,166 --> 01:36:33,896
It's been dead for two days.
1228
01:36:34,024 --> 01:36:36,431
But I recharged it and found all
these photos.
1229
01:36:36,531 --> 01:36:37,723
What?
1230
01:36:37,920 --> 01:36:40,015
- Shit!
- Yeah, some of it's pretty messed up.
1231
01:36:40,113 --> 01:36:42,716
- Awesome, let's check em out.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1232
01:36:43,043 --> 01:36:44,684
No one needs to see this stuff!
1233
01:36:44,798 --> 01:36:47,534
C'mon man! I'm Mike Tyson. I've seen everything!
1234
01:36:47,828 --> 01:36:50,446
- It'll be fine.
- (mumbles something)
1235
01:36:51,387 --> 01:36:56,107
- Alright, we look at it once.
- And then we delete them. It's gonna be ok.
1236
01:36:57,730 --> 01:36:58,953
- Oh, ooh!
- Mother fucker!