1 00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:04,613 [ water splashes] 2 00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:06,963 [ lilting melody playing on acoustic guitar] 3 00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:08,965 [ violins join in] 4 00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:12,925 [ French horns playing] 5 00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:16,538 [ trumpets join in] 6 00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:19,802 [ solo guitar resolves melody] 7 00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:26,330 [ patriotic melody plays] 8 00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:38,908 ♪ 9 00:00:57,144 --> 00:01:00,712 [ mid-tempo rap beat plays] 10 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:05,848 ♪ Here's a story about a man 11 00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:08,372 ♪ A simple man 12 00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:12,376 ♪ A man with a dream to do the world some good ♪ 13 00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:15,292 ♪ Here's a story for rich and poor ♪ 14 00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:17,338 ♪ For young and for old 15 00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:19,557 ♪ About a man from the 'hood 16 00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,690 ♪ Tryin' to do the world some good ♪ 17 00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:24,736 ♪ Here's a story about a man 18 00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:26,695 ♪ An everyday man 19 00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:29,872 ♪ A man with a dream 20 00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:33,005 ♪ To be the head of state, state, state ♪ 21 00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,877 ♪ Hmm... 22 00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:36,966 [ phone ringing] 23 00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,837 MAN: Alderman Gilliam's office. 24 00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:40,448 What are you upset about? 25 00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:41,927 It's not a black-owned business? 26 00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:43,668 MAN 2 [ over phone]: That's right! 27 00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,496 MAN: Yeah, but it's a Chinese food restaurant. 28 00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:47,063 So what?!Yeah! 29 00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:49,848 I know it's fried rice, but it's not "fried" rice. 30 00:01:49,848 --> 00:01:51,720 [ phone rings]Alderman Gilliam's office. 31 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,982 Hi, honey!Hey, hey, Kim, Kim, Kim. 32 00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,766 Hey, how is it going, honey? 33 00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,942 Got tickets to the symphony.Really? Well, hold on a second, 34 00:01:56,942 --> 00:01:58,509 Listen, on your way home...'cause I got call. 35 00:01:58,509 --> 00:01:59,728 Mays, you better...I got another call! 36 00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:01,164 KIM: Mays? Mays?! 37 00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:02,644 TV ANNOUNCER: Vote for Gaines and James. 38 00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:04,341 The Million Babies' Mamas' March? 39 00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,300 WOMAN [ over phone]: It's a very good cause. 40 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,954 No, you're going to have to call Reverend Barton for that one. 41 00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:10,608 MAN [ over phone]: I got these food stamps... 42 00:02:10,608 --> 00:02:12,436 No, you can't use food stamps to buy tires. 43 00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:15,657 Alderman Gilliam?I'm sorry, Mr. Hawkins. 44 00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:17,006 What can I do for you? 45 00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:19,008 Your girlfriend's on hold. 46 00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:21,184 Honey, wait, hold on a second....put me on hold every time! 47 00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,577 Now, now, what was it, Mr. Hawkins? 48 00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,144 The bus, Mays. 49 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,710 I read where they're gonna shut down our bus line. 50 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,059 [ over phone]: Mays, are you listening to me? 51 00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:28,409 If they do that, I can't get to work. 52 00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:29,845 Unless they give me a job 53 00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:32,239 in that new mall.Don't worry, Mr. Hawkins. 54 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:33,762 I've been talking to the people downtown, 55 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:34,980 and I promise you this: 56 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,982 If they shut down this bus line, 57 00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:39,028 I will drive you to work myself. 58 00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:41,683 You got my word. 59 00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,511 Alderman Gilliam, quick! 60 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:44,642 Miss Pearl is back! 61 00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:45,904 Okay, I gotta go. 62 00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:51,562 [ driving rap beat plays] 63 00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:54,043 MAYS [ voice-over]: Hi, that's me, Mays Gilliam, 64 00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:57,351 alderman of the Ninth Ward of Washington, D.C. 65 00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:59,483 Not the part of D.C. that you're familiar with. 66 00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:01,746 I work in a neighborhood so bad, 67 00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:04,227 you can get shot while you're getting shot. 68 00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:06,925 Around here, when people have a problem, 69 00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:09,406 they don't call the mayor, they call me. 70 00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:12,366 [ driving rap beat continues] 71 00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:13,845 Come on, come on, come on. 72 00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,760 All right, okay. Miss Pearl! 73 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:19,373 Miss Pearl! What's going on? 74 00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:21,679 [ sobbing]: Mays, Dionne is in the house! 75 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,203 I know she is! 76 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,770 MAN: Look, I don't know what she's talking about. 77 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:28,556 We checked the house; there's nobody in there. 78 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,732 Hey, man, Dionne is her cat. 79 00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:31,994 MAN: Well, whatever. 80 00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:33,430 Cat's got nine lives. He'll be fine. 81 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,779 Frank, can't we let one guy go in there 82 00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,564 and help this lady get her cat? 83 00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,870 Can't do it, Mays. Once they laid the explosives, 84 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,133 there's nothing I can do. She just showed up. 85 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:42,700 Come on, man, you already took the lady's house. 86 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,398 Can you at least let her get her cat? 87 00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:46,356 Hey, we didn't take her house. We gave her 40 grand. 88 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,750 40 grand? What kind of house is she supposed to get 89 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,491 with 40 grand? What, a crack house? 90 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,841 I think she'd be happy to get out of this rattrap. 91 00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,452 Who the hell are you to call this place a rattrap? 92 00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:57,585 This is my neighborhood. This is where I'm from. 93 00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,282 I got my first bike stolen right there. 94 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,458 My daddy got his bike stolen right there. 95 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,808 When I have a son, I hope he's fortunate enough 96 00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,375 to get stuck up right there. 97 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:08,117 Now, can't you let somebody go in there and check? 98 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,597 We already looked. There's nothing in here. 99 00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:10,859 Now, look, we got work to do here. 100 00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:12,600 Leave the people alone! 101 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,862 Let's go. Let's get this thing going. 102 00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,124 Come on, now. Come on, Mays! 103 00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,386 Come on, stop being in such a hurry. 104 00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:18,649 FRANK: We been here all morning. 105 00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,695 Let the lady go inside.PEARL: Dionne?! 106 00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:23,132 Come on, baby! Oh, sugar baby. Come on! 107 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:26,048 Could you at least turn it off? Let the lady get her cat. 108 00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:27,310 Dionne, baby?! 109 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,529 I got something for you! 110 00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,095 [ meows] 111 00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:31,532 Dionne! 112 00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:32,620 Miss Pearl, no! 113 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:35,492 Dionne! Dionne! 114 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,538 All right, turn it off. Turn it off. 115 00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:38,887 Wait'll this woman gets her cat. 116 00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,410 Shit! It's not working. 117 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,107 Cut it off!Turn it off! 118 00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:44,066 She better get out of there. It's gonna blow! 119 00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:45,720 Miss Pearl!Miss Pearl! Miss Pearl! 120 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,287 Miss Pearl, come on! 121 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,289 Oh, no, Mays! 122 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,942 Come on! 123 00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:52,553 Mays, you've only got a minute! 124 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:55,817 Miss Pearl... Miss Pearl! 125 00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,035 FRANK: Fix it! Get to work! 126 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,341 I'm trying! 127 00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,300 Get a union man on this-- Mays! 128 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,519 Get out! Mays! 129 00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,652 [ mutters] 130 00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,828 Miss Pearl, we got to get out of here. 131 00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,656 They're gonna blow this place up. 132 00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:11,093 Oh, they wouldn't do that, baby. 133 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,703 They know we're in here. 134 00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:14,966 Miss Pearl, I love you. I've known you a long time. 135 00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,012 Now, you've seen a lot of things in your life. 136 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:18,448 You've seen churches burnt to the ground. 137 00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:20,102 You've seen dogs sicced on children. 138 00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:22,234 You've seen Malcolm X killed. You've seen JFK killed. 139 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,454 They shut up Muhammad Ali. They shut up Richard Pryor. 140 00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:25,760 They gave Magic Johnson AIDS. 141 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,675 They turned Michael Jackson white. 142 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,894 Now, do you really think these people give a damn about you?! 143 00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:32,070 [ driving rap beat playing] 144 00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:35,117 [ Mays and Pearl yelling] 145 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,599 [ shrieking] 146 00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:42,690 [ rap song plays over radio] 147 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:45,301 ♪ Look for me! Young, B 148 00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,824 ♪ Cruisin' down the Westside 149 00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:49,871 ♪ High, way, Doing what we like to do ♪ 150 00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,742 ♪ Our way, Eyes behind shades... ♪ 151 00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,918 RADIO ANNOUNCER: We interrupt the Jay-Z song 152 00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:55,746 to bring you this special bulletin. 153 00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:57,705 Presidential candidate Senator Sam Gaines and his running mate, 154 00:05:57,705 --> 00:06:00,098 General Olson James, were both killed today 155 00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:02,405 when their planes crashed into each other over Virginia. 156 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,799 We now return you to the Jay-Z song already in progress. 157 00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:07,758 ♪ Cuz Mami's a rider, and I'm a roller ♪ 158 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:10,239 ♪ Put us together, how they gon' stop both us? ♪ 159 00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:12,415 ♪ Whatever she lacks, I'm right over her shoulder ♪ 160 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:15,331 ♪ When I'm off track, Mami is keepin' me focused ♪ 161 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:17,768 ♪ So let's lock this down like it's supposed to be ♪ 162 00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:20,771 ♪ The '03 Bon... [ turns off radio] 163 00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:23,078 [ rap music plays in background] 164 00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:24,732 Hey, what's up, Warren? 165 00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,908 I'm trying to be like you, hero. What's up, man? 166 00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,605 Saving kittens?Don't steal my car now. 167 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:31,521 I don't want that garbage.[ rap song plays] 168 00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:34,611 What am I gonna do, feed your car to my car, man? 169 00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:37,092 Let me get ten Nine Lives, four Lucky Ducks, 170 00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,528 two Straight Pokers... 171 00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,922 three Crabpots and five Powerballs. 172 00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:43,446 Thank you. Here you go. 173 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:48,451 [ applause] 174 00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:52,455 Y'all need to stop. Y'all need to stop it now. 175 00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:56,459 [ angelic music plays] 176 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:59,070 Um, why are all these people in here clapping? 177 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,681 What, you didn't see me on the news? 178 00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,770 No, I didn't. 179 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:06,077 I got meat! More beef than East Coast, West Coast rap. 180 00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:07,557 Check it out! 181 00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:10,691 Hey, Superman! Saving lives and stuff. 182 00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:12,562 Why don't you cop one of these pork chops, ah? 183 00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:14,434 You know what you need to do? 184 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,000 You need to leave. I'm not gonna tell you again. 185 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,046 Come on, man, nobody wants your meat. 186 00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:19,917 I mean, who the hell wants to buy stolen meat? 187 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,963 I'll take a T-bone.You like gizzards too? 188 00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:23,878 We can get set up with Chinese food. 189 00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,880 Good.Clifton, Barracuda! 190 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,056 Hey, did you hear about that guy running for President? 191 00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:29,840 Who do you think they're gonna get to replace him? 192 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,581 I don't know. Maybe they should get Shaq. 193 00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:33,888 Nobody can beat him. Now, are you gonna get some gas? 194 00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:37,021 You're holding my line up.Yeah, I'm sorry. 195 00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:39,546 Ten on three. 196 00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,417 ♪ All I need in this life of sin ♪ 197 00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:43,985 ♪ Is me and my girlfriend ♪ Me and my girlfriend 198 00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:47,379 ♪ Down to ride to the very end, it's me... ♪ 199 00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:48,990 [ rhythm and blues plays] 200 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,166 You've got a lot of nerve hanging up on me. 201 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,820 Hanging up? What-Wha-- 202 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,082 Wha-What's going on? 203 00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,823 I'm leaving you, that's what's going on! 204 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,999 You know, the only reason I ever accepted 205 00:07:57,999 --> 00:08:00,697 this engagement ring from you in the first place 206 00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:02,786 is because I thought you had potential! 207 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:05,136 I thought you wanted more, Mays! 208 00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,835 Why can't you just play the game, Mays?! 209 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,184 Wear a suit! 210 00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:11,447 Be a real politician!Wait a minute. 211 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:12,927 What's my clothes have to do with a... 212 00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,537 Are you seeing somebody else? 213 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,583 I'm seeing everybody else! 214 00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:19,760 I've met mosquitoes with more force than you. 215 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,936 I'm tired of your little games... 216 00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:24,199 and I'm tired of being your little secretary. 217 00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,331 Here's the light bill. I didn't pay it. 218 00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:28,856 Here's the cable bill. I didn't pay that either. 219 00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:32,642 And here's the bill for your car note. 220 00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:35,079 I hope they take it![ car alarm blaring] 221 00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:37,125 Wait a minute. That's my car! That's my car! 222 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,823 [ cackling] 223 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:42,913 I hate that piece of shit. 224 00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:45,873 I am tired of spending my time 225 00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:47,657 waiting for you to quit acting like a child 226 00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:51,095 and act like a grown man for a change, Mays! 227 00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:53,445 I need to get on with my life! 228 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,535 I want a house! I want children! 229 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,406 I want to go on vacation! 230 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,408 You're horrible in bed! 231 00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:02,063 [ cackling laughter][ rhythm and blues builds] 232 00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:05,370 [ yelling] 233 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:09,157 [ music and yelling stops]I wish you would. 234 00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:14,292 For the last time, I'm not running for President. 235 00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:15,816 [ woman sighs] 236 00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,382 I'm not crazy. Gaines was 20 points behind. 237 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,820 It's ten weeks to election day. 238 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,430 Damn it! Those guys should have known better 239 00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:24,433 than to talk on a cell phone in a plane. 240 00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,391 SENATOR: What about Sanderson? 241 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:29,307 That's a joke. Lewis has been Vice President for eight years. 242 00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,483 He's a war hero, and he's Sharon Stone's cousin. 243 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:32,572 He can't lose. 244 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,790 What about Mosley? 245 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:34,965 Girls.Connelly? 246 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,184 Boys.McMasters? 247 00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:38,229 Big boys.So, what? 248 00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:40,144 We just concede the election to Lewis? 249 00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,756 Don't worry, nobody said anything about conceding, Debra, 250 00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:44,105 but let's get real here. 251 00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:46,498 You know, we're gonna lose this one. 252 00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:48,239 So the thing to do 253 00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:50,546 is to set the party up for the next election. 254 00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:53,897 We need a candidate that's going to put on a good show. 255 00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:55,333 This isn't a circus. 256 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,597 It's a presidential election. 257 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,816 You can't just pick some... 258 00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:02,732 some guy to run for President. 259 00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:04,299 This is unprecedented, 260 00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:06,780 but if I put in a call to the party chairman, 261 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,738 we find a candidate, he'll back him. 262 00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,044 DEBRA: Who's going to run a race 263 00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:11,654 that they know they can't win? 264 00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,003 Who says he has to know? 265 00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,614 JAY-Z: ♪ Young, B 266 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,137 ♪ Cruisin' down the Westside 267 00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:18,879 ♪ High, way, Doing what we like to do ♪ 268 00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:20,141 ♪ Our, way, Eyes behind shades ♪ 269 00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:21,490 ♪ This necklace the reason... 270 00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:23,144 What the...? 271 00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:34,590 What now? 272 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:37,201 [ engine roaring] 273 00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:39,813 No! No, not my bike! 274 00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,379 Not my bike! 275 00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:46,254 Not my bike! No! 276 00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:47,559 Now, when I went in there, 277 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,213 I wasn't thinking about being a hero. 278 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:52,390 I was just trying to help Miss Pearl. 279 00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:53,391 [ imitating Mays]: Miss Pearl. 280 00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:54,479 Miss Pearl. Miss Pearl. 281 00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:56,699 I think we found our man. 282 00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:59,310 Oh, look at this! This is, this is great! 283 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,572 This is America, see? 284 00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:02,487 Little guy against the big guy. 285 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,359 Corporations against the people. 286 00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:06,448 Young versus old. What's better than this? 287 00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,102 Come on, give me a break! 288 00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,974 I'm going to run an alderman for President? 289 00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:13,803 No. He's not an alderman. 290 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,762 He's a hero. 291 00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,024 Who doesn't like a hero? 292 00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,460 Big business loves a hero! 293 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,331 See? 294 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,682 Bill, you said that we needed somebody who can help the party. 295 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,945 Now, how in the hell does this guy help the party? 296 00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:26,120 I'm glad you asked. 297 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,339 See, the United States is changing. 298 00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:29,950 Well, America is changing. 299 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:33,344 Inside of 20 years-- well, you know the numbers: 300 00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,216 20% black, 21% Asian... 301 00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:36,652 39% Hispanic. 302 00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:38,828 The minorities will be the majority. 303 00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:42,789 Now, the smartest thing we can do is be the first party 304 00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:45,139 to nominate a minority for President. 305 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,314 How about a cripple? 306 00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:47,750 I don'’t think so, Charlie. 307 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,666 Now, uh, we'll lose, of course... 308 00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,755 but the minorities will be happy. 309 00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:54,801 The minorities will be happy, 310 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:57,368 and they will vote for us in 2008 311 00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:59,675 because we've shown we support them. 312 00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:02,634 And the white people will vote for us because, uh... 313 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,114 well, our guy isn't black. 314 00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:05,812 You got my vote! 315 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,378 Geller, why don't you, uh, see if you can track down 316 00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:08,640 this, uh, Mays Gilliam? 317 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:13,689 Uh, Charlie... go check our accounts. 318 00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:25,527 Give me one good reason why I should go along with this. 319 00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:27,007 Don't you get it, Debra? 320 00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:29,792 I intend to run for President in 2008. 321 00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:35,537 Now, you give me one reason why you shouldn't. 322 00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:41,412 Well... I mean, he-he would take a lot of work. 323 00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:43,327 And we can run a background check, 324 00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:46,113 but it's obvious he's not a party line candidate. 325 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,637 I mean, he's just some kid who thinks he can make a difference. 326 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:50,247 Don't worry about all that. 327 00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:52,380 You just go out there, you put the machine behind him. 328 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:55,862 You get 25 points in the poll, consider it a win. 329 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,994 Make sure he doesn't embarrass us. 330 00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:00,562 After this is over, we get to work. 331 00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:03,739 When I'm President... 332 00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,088 I'll take care of you. 333 00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,265 MAYS: Coop, you got to help me. 334 00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:09,919 They locked me out of my office. 335 00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:11,965 I know. The mayor is fed up with you. 336 00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,836 How many times have I told you? 337 00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,577 You got to quit trying to fix stuff. 338 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,362 I could have got you into the council next term. 339 00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,668 Now you're red-lined. 340 00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,104 Shannon's taking over your district. 341 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:23,150 They need to smooth over this mall situation, 342 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,065 and that bus thing's about to heat up. 343 00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:27,154 They don't trust you.They don't trust me? 344 00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,025 I'm not the one stealing people's houses. 345 00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:31,027 You see, that's what your problem is right there. 346 00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,550 You got to work with us, Mays! 347 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:35,902 That stuff you pulled over there cost the city money. 348 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,338 Makes the mayor look bad. 349 00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:39,340 Now, contrary to popular belief, 350 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,951 politics is no place to express yourself. 351 00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:44,388 You want to get in, you got to fit in. 352 00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:45,650 And look at you. 353 00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,217 Grow up. You got to dress better. 354 00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:49,567 Even Puff Daddy wears a suit to court. 355 00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:55,269 I'm sorry, brother, but ain't nothing I can do. 356 00:13:58,794 --> 00:13:59,839 Nice car. 357 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,144 Hey, ain't it, though? 358 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,798 Got it for a song at the repo auction. 359 00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:04,060 [ laughs] 360 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,149 [ laughter continues] 361 00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,759 [ engine starts] 362 00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:10,240 ♪ Look for me! Young, B 363 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,763 ♪ Cruisin' down the Westside 364 00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:13,026 ♪ High, way... 365 00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:15,811 [ thunder rumbling] 366 00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:18,509 [ rhythm and blues beat plays] 367 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,563 ♪ He feels bad, mighty low 368 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:30,913 ♪ Got nowhere to go 369 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:33,655 ♪ What can you do when you're feeling low? ♪ 370 00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:34,874 ♪ Man, I wanna know 371 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,179 [ wailing] 372 00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:37,833 ♪ He feels bad, mighty low 373 00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:40,009 ♪ Got nowhere to go 374 00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:43,883 ♪ What can you do when you're feeling low ♪ 375 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,580 ♪ And your car just got repo'd? ♪ 376 00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:47,495 Mays Gilliam? 377 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:51,978 [ thunder rumbling] 378 00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:19,788 Mays Gilliam, Debra Lassiter. 379 00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:22,530 Nice to meet you. Take a seat. 380 00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:29,929 Mays, we know what happened today. 381 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,495 We know you lost your job. 382 00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:32,932 Well, how'd you know that? 383 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,759 It just happened. 384 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:37,066 We're the government, Mays. We know everything. 385 00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:40,200 Mays, we'd like you to do something for us. 386 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,725 Yeah, sure, I-I-I'd love to work on a presidential campaign. 387 00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:45,596 You know, I'll make phone calls... 388 00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,772 send out flyers. 389 00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:50,210 Now, who have you guys chosen to run against Lewis? 390 00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:53,256 Well, that's exactly what we wanted to talk to you about. 391 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:57,173 We'd like you to run for President. 392 00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:04,659 Of what? 393 00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,139 The United States. 394 00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,836 Of what? 395 00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,751 Of America. 396 00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:12,275 Which America?[ yelling]: North...! 397 00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,277 [ quietly]: America, Mays. 398 00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:17,063 Get outta here! 399 00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:18,673 We're not joking, Mays. 400 00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:21,197 We want you to be the nominee for the office 401 00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:23,678 of President of the United States of America. 402 00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:27,290 [ crowd cheering][ "Hail To the Chief" playing] 403 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:29,379 [ gunshot] 404 00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,599 Okay, let me get this straight. 405 00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:34,254 You guys couldn't find anybody else to run? 406 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,951 You couldn't find nobody? 407 00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:37,518 Mm, something's wrong here. 408 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:40,303 You couldn't find a-a congressman, a senator? 409 00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:42,262 I mean, I'm just an alderman. 410 00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:45,917 Congressmen, senators, they work with other politicians. 411 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,180 You're an alderman, Mays. 412 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:48,746 You work with the people, 413 00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:52,620 and that's what we want-- a man of the people. 414 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,187 This is a big joke, right? 415 00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:55,797 They've got a hidden camera somewhere around here. 416 00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,451 Y'all are gonna get a big laugh outta this. 417 00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:59,279 Well, you know what? 418 00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:01,063 I don't even care, 'cause one of y'all is gonna drive me home 419 00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,196 'cause my bike is messed up. 420 00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:05,763 [ "Yankee Doodle Dandy" playing]You an American, Mays? 421 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,939 Wow. Bill Arnot. 422 00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,593 Are you an American? 423 00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:11,160 Yes. 424 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,728 Mays, this isn't just an election. 425 00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,251 It's a moment. 426 00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:17,340 This is the moment when you have the opportunity 427 00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,994 to show little boys and girls, 428 00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:21,562 men and women, what America's all about. 429 00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:24,695 Look at that. 430 00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:26,610 When I see that, I think 431 00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:29,918 of our forefathers fighting to make this country what it is. 432 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:32,225 And when I see that, I think about the guy 433 00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:35,706 who's got to scrub it for minimum wage. 434 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,404 That's why we want you, Mays. 435 00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,884 You care about the little people. 436 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:42,626 So what's it going to be? 437 00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:47,066 [ brisk, dramatic, patriotic theme plays] 438 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,113 [ reporters clamoring] 439 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:53,550 [ camera shutters clicking] 440 00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:57,163 [ upbeat patriotic theme continues] 441 00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:58,947 It gives me great honor 442 00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:01,645 to accept the party's nomination 443 00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:05,780 for President of the United States of America. 444 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:09,566 [ screeching]: No! 445 00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:11,002 [ scream echoing] 446 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,179 [ mooing] 447 00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:17,008 Welcome to your campaign headquarters. 448 00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:21,056 These folks are going to do everything they can to help you get elected. 449 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,406 These are your people. 450 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,234 Oh, here, let's take a look at this. 451 00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:26,714 Hey, Mark, is that cued up? 452 00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:27,932 MARK: Yep. 453 00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:29,108 Roll it, please. 454 00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:32,415 Yeah, yeah. Yeah... 455 00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,852 [ noble, majestic music begins on TV] 456 00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,202 [ mimicks crowd roaring] 457 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:39,422 Oh, this is a great spot. 458 00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:41,511 TV ANNOUNCER: If you love America, 459 00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:45,733 vote Mays Gilliam for President. 460 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:48,127 Huh? 461 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,217 But I'm-I'm not in it. 462 00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:53,001 You don't even see my face. 463 00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:55,177 Well, it's a template. We'll get you in there eventually. 464 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:58,093 Mays, there's a couple of people I want you to meet. 465 00:18:58,093 --> 00:19:00,182 This is your security director, Mr. Earl. 466 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,053 You're going to be in good hands. 467 00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:03,316 Pleased to meet you, sir. 468 00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:04,708 If you ever find yourself in trouble, 469 00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:05,970 just yell "security," 470 00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:08,016 and my people will handle the situation. 471 00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:09,365 This is your decoy, Mays Junior. 472 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,280 He enters all of your events before you. 473 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,890 If anything's going to happen to you, 474 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,370 it'll happen to him first. 475 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,764 You know, Tupac could've used a guy like you. 476 00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:18,461 This is Nicollette White. 477 00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:21,551 She's your Executive Director of Internal Liaisons. 478 00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:22,857 You can call me Nikki. 479 00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,163 It will be a pleasure to serve you. 480 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,816 I am available to you around the clock. 481 00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,078 Just let me know. 482 00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:29,516 Now, what does she do? 483 00:19:29,516 --> 00:19:31,387 Oh, she sleeps with you. 484 00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:34,521 Oh, we get tired of getting caught up in sex scandals, 485 00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:37,045 so we commissioned our own team of super whores. 486 00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,525 You call yourself whores?! 487 00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,744 Move that fat ass! One! Two! Three! 488 00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:42,355 These girls are good. 489 00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:43,834 Good morning, Mays. 490 00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:46,446 I took the liberty of choosing some options 491 00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:48,012 for this evening's fundraiser. 492 00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,666 You don't mind, do you? 493 00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:51,842 No, no, I-I'll wear whatever you need me to wear. 494 00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,496 Now, what fundraiser is this? 495 00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:54,758 It's your coming-out party. 496 00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:56,543 Campaigns cost money. 497 00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:58,632 The people you meet tonight have plenty of it. 498 00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:00,895 Now, Geller and I are going to advance the party, 499 00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:03,071 and Mr. Earl will bring you 8:00 sharp. 500 00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:05,204 Here are your off-the-cuff remarks. 501 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,466 Learn them. 502 00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,555 See you later. Okay. 503 00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:09,904 [ sighs] 504 00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:13,821 [ playing classical music] 505 00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:16,127 Sir![ clamoring fades] 506 00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:17,781 EARL: Remember, sir, just nod and move. 507 00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:19,043 Nod and move. 508 00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:20,306 WOMAN: Mr. Gilliam! 509 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:21,568 [ crowd clamoring] 510 00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:23,178 So, what do you plan to do about taxes? 511 00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:25,485 Do you plan to support paternal leave incentives? 512 00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,138 Hey, could you get my demo to somebody? 513 00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:28,662 Anybody, please! Please! 514 00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:29,880 Don't accept any unscreened packages, sir. 515 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,099 It's a security measure. 516 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:32,405 Mays, Mays... 517 00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:33,797 You have some people to talk to. 518 00:20:33,797 --> 00:20:35,756 Tomorrow, work. Tonight, smile, shake hands, 519 00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,018 and be nice to the wives. 520 00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:38,715 I'll double-check the P.A. system. 521 00:20:38,715 --> 00:20:40,587 You'll make a brief statement at 11:00. 522 00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:41,936 MAYS: Okay, let's go.Let's go. 523 00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:45,461 [ classical music continues] 524 00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:47,724 [ loud smooching] 525 00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:50,466 Hi. How you doing? 526 00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,990 All right. You all right. 527 00:20:55,079 --> 00:20:56,646 I wish you luck, sir. 528 00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:57,995 Arrigato. 529 00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:01,434 [ clamoring] 530 00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:02,870 It's a little bit like Timberland, 531 00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:04,263 you know, and I got a little bit of Missy 532 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,525 moving up through there, 533 00:21:05,525 --> 00:21:07,091 but what I'm really trying to go through 534 00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:08,615 is that Neptune kinda feel, you know, so I... 535 00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:10,573 Excuse me, Mays, the Teamsters are here. 536 00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:12,445 What are you doing talking to the help? 537 00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:13,794 Gentlemen, Mr. Mays Gilliam. 538 00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:15,491 Guys, I just want to say, hey, 539 00:21:15,491 --> 00:21:17,363 I'm all for labor, I'm all for unions, 540 00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:18,625 but you know and I know 541 00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,409 that you guys are gonna endorse Lewis. 542 00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:21,758 It's a business decision. 543 00:21:21,758 --> 00:21:24,021 We're going to do what's best for the union. 544 00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,849 By the way, have you decided on a running mate? 545 00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:27,286 We're thinking about it. 546 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:29,244 Well, we think maybe you should consider Sanders. 547 00:21:29,244 --> 00:21:30,941 Well, we're considering several options. 548 00:21:30,941 --> 00:21:32,726 Yeah, well, maybe you should also consider giving us 549 00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:34,597 support on that new referendum.Excuse me. 550 00:21:34,597 --> 00:21:35,816 Well, that depends. Can we depend on your support...? 551 00:21:35,816 --> 00:21:37,078 What's up with this guy? 552 00:21:37,078 --> 00:21:39,820 Track four. Check out track four. 553 00:21:44,825 --> 00:21:46,217 So, what do you have there? 554 00:21:46,217 --> 00:21:47,871 Well, we got some shrimp puffs 555 00:21:47,871 --> 00:21:49,220 and some cheese snacks-- 556 00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:51,875 you know, just some... finger foods. 557 00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:53,137 Thought that was you. 558 00:21:53,137 --> 00:21:54,487 So, what's up with the two jobs? 559 00:21:54,487 --> 00:21:55,749 Bad credit? 560 00:21:55,749 --> 00:21:57,490 Why do I have to have bad credit? 561 00:21:57,490 --> 00:22:00,449 Why can't I be saving up for a car or for school? 562 00:22:00,449 --> 00:22:01,798 Maybe I like to work. 563 00:22:01,798 --> 00:22:03,670 Excuse me. 564 00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:05,585 Hey, I'm sorry. You know what? 565 00:22:05,585 --> 00:22:07,021 I never got your name. 566 00:22:07,021 --> 00:22:09,153 Lisa. Lisa Clark.Hey, Lisa Clark. Mays. 567 00:22:09,153 --> 00:22:11,155 So why you being so rude, Lisa Clark? 568 00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:13,680 I'm not trying to be rude. I'm working. 569 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,203 We're not supposed to mingle with the guests. 570 00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:16,552 Plus, I don't know you. 571 00:22:16,552 --> 00:22:19,250 You know me.Uh, no, I don't know you. 572 00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:20,513 But you know me. 573 00:22:20,513 --> 00:22:21,949 You've come to the gas station 574 00:22:21,949 --> 00:22:23,298 a couple of times, 575 00:22:23,298 --> 00:22:25,909 and I see you, but I don't know... you. 576 00:22:25,909 --> 00:22:27,607 Well, let's get to know each other. 577 00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:29,043 Come on, let's dance.I have to work. 578 00:22:29,043 --> 00:22:30,392 I know you're working. 579 00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:32,046 Yes, I'm working, too, so let's keep working. 580 00:22:32,046 --> 00:22:33,352 You want to dance? 581 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,614 Okay, but don't get me in trouble. 582 00:22:34,614 --> 00:22:35,876 Hit it! 583 00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:37,486 ♪ Oh 584 00:22:37,486 --> 00:22:39,358 [ intro to "Hot In Here" playing] 585 00:22:41,185 --> 00:22:45,276 I cannot believe you got me out here like this. 586 00:22:45,276 --> 00:22:47,757 Yeah, but you like it, right? 587 00:22:47,757 --> 00:22:49,629 Yeah, a little.♪ A little bit a ah, ah 588 00:22:49,629 --> 00:22:54,111 ♪ With a little bit a 589 00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:55,852 ♪ Flirtatious, tryin' to show faces, oh ♪ 590 00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:57,201 ♪ Lookin' for the right time to shoot my steam ♪ 591 00:22:57,201 --> 00:22:58,986 Uh-oh, I'm feeling it, I'm feeling it. 592 00:22:58,986 --> 00:23:01,249 ♪ Lookin' for the right time to flash them Gs, then, um ♪ 593 00:23:01,249 --> 00:23:02,816 ♪ No deceivin', nothin' up my sleeve ♪ 594 00:23:02,816 --> 00:23:05,601 ♪ No teasin', I need you to get up ♪ 595 00:23:05,601 --> 00:23:07,429 ♪ Up on the dance floor 596 00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:09,344 ♪ Give that man what he askin' for ♪ 597 00:23:09,344 --> 00:23:11,651 Go ahead, girl, work it.♪ Cuz I feel like bustin' loose ♪ 598 00:23:11,651 --> 00:23:14,175 Work it!♪ And I feel like touchin' you, uh, uh ♪ 599 00:23:14,175 --> 00:23:16,351 ♪ And can't nobody stop the juice ♪ 600 00:23:16,351 --> 00:23:18,353 ♪ So baby tell me what's the use ♪ 601 00:23:18,353 --> 00:23:21,225 ♪ I said it's gettin' hot in here, so hot ♪ 602 00:23:21,225 --> 00:23:23,184 ♪ So take off all your clothes 603 00:23:23,184 --> 00:23:25,578 ♪ I am gettin' so hot Oh, my God. You know what? 604 00:23:25,578 --> 00:23:26,840 I'm having too much fun. 605 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,145 I gotta get back to work. 606 00:23:28,145 --> 00:23:29,756 No, come on, stay. No!I gotta go. 607 00:23:29,756 --> 00:23:31,018 Come on, co... come on! 608 00:23:31,018 --> 00:23:32,759 ♪ So take off all your clothes 609 00:23:32,759 --> 00:23:34,021 ♪ I am gettin' so hot... 610 00:23:34,021 --> 00:23:35,283 Come on, brother, 611 00:23:35,283 --> 00:23:37,241 I know you know how to do this dance. 612 00:23:37,241 --> 00:23:38,591 No, sorry, I don't. 613 00:23:38,591 --> 00:23:40,201 Come on, man, I know you know how to do 614 00:23:40,201 --> 00:23:41,507 the Electric Slide. 615 00:23:41,507 --> 00:23:43,291 No, I can't say that I do. 616 00:23:43,291 --> 00:23:45,075 ♪ And I be down, and do a hundred, top down and goggles ♪ 617 00:23:45,075 --> 00:23:46,512 Get yo ass in there! 618 00:23:46,512 --> 00:23:48,339 ♪ Get off the freeway, exit 106 ♪ 619 00:23:48,339 --> 00:23:50,254 ♪ And parked it Ash tray, flip gate, time to spark it ♪ 620 00:23:50,254 --> 00:23:51,517 ♪ So take it off like you're home alone ♪ 621 00:23:51,517 --> 00:23:53,475 What the hell is this?! 622 00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:55,390 ♪ You know dance in front your mirror ♪Where's Mays? 623 00:23:55,390 --> 00:23:57,479 ♪ Checkin' your reflection and tellin' your best friend ♪ 624 00:23:57,479 --> 00:23:58,828 Over there.♪ "Girl, I think my butt gettin' big" ♪ 625 00:23:58,828 --> 00:24:00,090 DEBRA: Oh, my... 626 00:24:00,090 --> 00:24:01,352 MARTIN: God! 627 00:24:01,352 --> 00:24:02,571 We gotta stop him.What...? 628 00:24:02,571 --> 00:24:03,920 DEBRA: Excuse us, please. 629 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,531 ♪ I am getting so hot 630 00:24:05,531 --> 00:24:07,794 ♪ I wanna take my clothes off 631 00:24:07,794 --> 00:24:09,012 What do you think you're doing?! 632 00:24:09,012 --> 00:24:10,840 Mays, stop it! 633 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,060 Come on, man, I'm just trying to get the party started. 634 00:24:13,060 --> 00:24:14,757 [ frustrated groan] 635 00:24:14,757 --> 00:24:16,846 ♪ Throw your hands in the air ♪ 636 00:24:16,846 --> 00:24:19,066 ♪ And wave 'em like you just don't care ♪ 637 00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:21,329 ♪ And if I got your vote for President ♪ 638 00:24:21,329 --> 00:24:23,287 ♪ Let me hear you say, "Oh, yeah!" ♪ 639 00:24:23,287 --> 00:24:24,767 CROWD: ♪ Oh, yeah! 640 00:24:26,290 --> 00:24:28,945 MAYS: Shake that ass, Grandma! 641 00:24:28,945 --> 00:24:33,689 Let me see you bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! 642 00:24:33,689 --> 00:24:36,170 Yeah, we got a couple of freaks over there. 643 00:24:36,170 --> 00:24:38,651 ♪ Oh, baby, hot! 644 00:24:38,651 --> 00:24:43,482 Let me see you shake! Shake! Shake! Shake! 645 00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:44,831 Crip walk! 646 00:24:44,831 --> 00:24:47,094 ♪ Day-o, day-o, day-o 647 00:24:47,094 --> 00:24:49,009 The roof! 648 00:24:49,009 --> 00:24:50,271 The roof! 649 00:24:50,271 --> 00:24:52,708 The roof is on fire! 650 00:24:52,708 --> 00:24:55,581 [ all screaming] 651 00:24:55,581 --> 00:24:57,278 The roof is on fire! 652 00:24:57,278 --> 00:24:59,628 No-no! No, no, no![ crowd screaming] 653 00:24:59,628 --> 00:25:01,543 No, no, it's a saying. 654 00:25:03,284 --> 00:25:05,242 It's just a saying. Come back. 655 00:25:05,242 --> 00:25:07,593 [ screaming] 656 00:25:07,593 --> 00:25:09,725 You turned the party out. 657 00:25:09,725 --> 00:25:12,032 I've never seen anything like that. 658 00:25:12,032 --> 00:25:13,294 Great party. 659 00:25:13,294 --> 00:25:14,513 Too bad about the fire. 660 00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,166 [ laughs quietly] 661 00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:17,603 So, where you off to now? 662 00:25:17,603 --> 00:25:18,995 Uh, I'm not even sure. 663 00:25:18,995 --> 00:25:21,128 I mean, we start campaigning tomorrow. 664 00:25:21,128 --> 00:25:23,565 We're going to be all over the country. 665 00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:24,958 You need a ride home? 666 00:25:24,958 --> 00:25:26,742 Oh, no. I still have to clean up. 667 00:25:26,742 --> 00:25:28,701 I don't know how long that's going to take me. 668 00:25:28,701 --> 00:25:30,050 Well, I could wait. 669 00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:32,052 Are you sure? I mean, you know, 670 00:25:32,052 --> 00:25:33,532 I could send a car to pick you up. 671 00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:35,534 No, thanks, but I-I got to go. 672 00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:37,536 It was good seeing you again. 673 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:39,363 You, too, buddy, ol' pal. 674 00:25:39,363 --> 00:25:41,801 [ laughing] 675 00:25:41,801 --> 00:25:43,019 Can I get a good night kiss? 676 00:25:43,019 --> 00:25:44,238 No! 677 00:25:44,238 --> 00:25:45,413 MAN: Lisa!"No!" 678 00:25:45,413 --> 00:25:46,588 I'm coming! 679 00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:47,850 She's coming! 680 00:25:47,850 --> 00:25:49,635 Hurry up! Hurry!Look, I got to go. 681 00:25:49,635 --> 00:25:52,768 Good luck, and... call me, if you get a chance. 682 00:25:52,768 --> 00:25:53,900 Okay? 683 00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:55,771 Didn't you see me talking? 684 00:25:55,771 --> 00:25:57,077 MARTIN: Mays! 685 00:25:57,077 --> 00:25:58,905 What kind of display was that? 686 00:25:58,905 --> 00:26:01,690 Well, I was just trying to get the party started. 687 00:26:01,690 --> 00:26:03,474 If the party needs to get started, 688 00:26:03,474 --> 00:26:04,737 I'll handle it. 689 00:26:04,737 --> 00:26:06,477 Just do what we say, Mays. 690 00:26:06,477 --> 00:26:08,610 I don't think everybody appreciated 691 00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:10,220 what you did in there! 692 00:26:10,220 --> 00:26:12,005 We really had a great time! 693 00:26:12,005 --> 00:26:13,963 It was off the hizzle for shizzle. 694 00:26:13,963 --> 00:26:15,225 Look... 695 00:26:15,225 --> 00:26:16,662 Well, they liked it. 696 00:26:16,662 --> 00:26:17,924 No, I-I don't care what they liked. I... 697 00:26:17,924 --> 00:26:19,273 But they liked it. 698 00:26:19,273 --> 00:26:21,492 Oh, Mays, darling! Mmm, mmm... 699 00:26:21,492 --> 00:26:23,712 [ passionate moaning] 700 00:26:23,712 --> 00:26:25,018 Darling, are you done yet? 701 00:26:25,018 --> 00:26:27,890 No? If not, it's okay. I can wait. 702 00:26:27,890 --> 00:26:29,413 But if we hurry, 703 00:26:29,413 --> 00:26:31,328 we'll be able to get a table at Jezebel's. 704 00:26:31,328 --> 00:26:33,287 Oh. Good evening. 705 00:26:33,287 --> 00:26:34,680 We're getting married. 706 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,595 Oh, I'm exhausted. 707 00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:37,857 [ chuckling] 708 00:26:37,857 --> 00:26:39,728 You know what I can't decide? 709 00:26:39,728 --> 00:26:42,035 I can't decide whether we should have a DJ or a band. 710 00:26:42,035 --> 00:26:43,863 DJ, band, DJ, band, DJ, band... 711 00:26:43,863 --> 00:26:45,778 Security! [ screams] 712 00:26:45,778 --> 00:26:47,649 [ car door slams, tires screeching] 713 00:26:47,649 --> 00:26:53,350 [ intro to "R.O.C.K. in the USA" playing] 714 00:26:53,350 --> 00:26:56,963 [ chickens clucking] 715 00:27:00,967 --> 00:27:05,275 MAYS: Thank you for inviting me to the land of milk and honey. 716 00:27:05,275 --> 00:27:06,929 It's you people, 717 00:27:06,929 --> 00:27:09,062 the dairy people, people that make eggs, 718 00:27:09,062 --> 00:27:11,064 milk, cheese 719 00:27:11,064 --> 00:27:14,284 butter, bacon, that make the country great. 720 00:27:14,284 --> 00:27:18,201 Milk makes the body good, and you make the country good. 721 00:27:20,421 --> 00:27:24,904 Thank you for inviting me to Memphis, Tennessee. 722 00:27:24,904 --> 00:27:27,776 It's people like you, the church people, 723 00:27:27,776 --> 00:27:30,257 who are the backbone and the spirit 724 00:27:30,257 --> 00:27:32,259 of this great land of ours. 725 00:27:32,259 --> 00:27:33,564 [ applause] 726 00:27:33,564 --> 00:27:37,046 I love the Lord, and I love the King-- 727 00:27:37,046 --> 00:27:38,308 Elvis Presley. 728 00:27:38,308 --> 00:27:41,268 [ cattle mooing] 729 00:27:41,268 --> 00:27:43,749 I want to thank you for inviting me 730 00:27:43,749 --> 00:27:45,359 to the Lone Star State. 731 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,578 [ cheering and whistling] 732 00:27:47,578 --> 00:27:48,928 Home of the Cowboys! 733 00:27:48,928 --> 00:27:50,233 [ cheering] 734 00:27:50,233 --> 00:27:51,234 How 'bout the Cowboys? 735 00:27:51,234 --> 00:27:52,540 [ loud cheering] 736 00:27:52,540 --> 00:27:54,281 It's people like you, 737 00:27:54,281 --> 00:27:57,893 the ranchers, who are the backbone of this country. 738 00:27:57,893 --> 00:27:59,329 [ cheering] 739 00:27:59,329 --> 00:28:04,030 And before I go, I got one more thing to say: 740 00:28:04,030 --> 00:28:07,468 ♪ The stars at night are big and bright ♪ 741 00:28:07,468 --> 00:28:08,948 [ rhythmic clapping] 742 00:28:08,948 --> 00:28:10,993 CROWD: ♪ Deep in the heart of Texas. 743 00:28:10,993 --> 00:28:14,475 [ cheering] 744 00:28:14,475 --> 00:28:16,564 MARTIN: Hey, well, it's not bad. 745 00:28:16,564 --> 00:28:18,435 MAYS: Martin, am I going to get another speech anytime soon? 746 00:28:18,435 --> 00:28:20,481 DEBRA: Why, Mays, what's the matter with this speech? 747 00:28:20,481 --> 00:28:22,135 I don't know. It just seems like maybe I should be talking 748 00:28:22,135 --> 00:28:23,614 about something a little more relevant. 749 00:28:23,614 --> 00:28:24,964 DEBRA: Relevant? 750 00:28:24,964 --> 00:28:26,705 Yeah. I mean, people are cheering, 751 00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:28,489 but they would cheer if I read the recipe for cornbread. 752 00:28:28,489 --> 00:28:29,751 I mean, it's not like it's working. 753 00:28:29,751 --> 00:28:31,144 I'm only one point up in the polls. 754 00:28:31,144 --> 00:28:32,711 Oh, don't worry about the polls, Mays. 755 00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:34,408 They're just a sampling. Polls change. 756 00:28:34,408 --> 00:28:36,540 Don't get ahead of yourself, Mays. 757 00:28:36,540 --> 00:28:37,803 We're here to help you. 758 00:28:37,803 --> 00:28:39,326 Besides, the people really like you. 759 00:28:39,326 --> 00:28:41,154 Cheer up. We're going to be in Chicago in a few days. 760 00:28:41,154 --> 00:28:42,808 You got a brother in Chicago, don't you? 761 00:28:42,808 --> 00:28:44,940 That's when the people find out what you're all about. 762 00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:47,377 Yeah, but I don't even know what I'm all about. 763 00:28:47,377 --> 00:28:49,728 [ bluegrass playing]: ♪ He's a hero, he's a hero 764 00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:51,294 ♪ Of the corn folk 765 00:28:51,294 --> 00:28:54,036 ♪ Strutting to the Promised Land... ♪ 766 00:28:54,036 --> 00:28:55,908 TV ANCHORMAN: In the latest polls, 767 00:28:55,908 --> 00:28:58,519 Mays Gilliam is up just one point to ten percent, 768 00:28:58,519 --> 00:29:02,349 while Vice President Brian Lewis still holds a commanding 84%. 769 00:29:02,349 --> 00:29:04,699 Six percent are undecided, saying they don't know 770 00:29:04,699 --> 00:29:07,702 who they're voting for-- they just know it's not Gilliam. 771 00:29:07,702 --> 00:29:10,139 Mays, when you get out there, listen to the crowd. 772 00:29:10,139 --> 00:29:11,401 Talk to them. 773 00:29:11,401 --> 00:29:12,707 I mean, make it look like 774 00:29:12,707 --> 00:29:14,187 you believe in what you're saying. 775 00:29:14,187 --> 00:29:15,797 Okay. 776 00:29:15,797 --> 00:29:17,930 I know we haven't exactly always seen eye to eye, 777 00:29:17,930 --> 00:29:19,409 but this, Mays, is very important. 778 00:29:19,409 --> 00:29:20,802 I can't stress that enough. 779 00:29:20,802 --> 00:29:22,412 Alderman Gilliam? 780 00:29:22,412 --> 00:29:24,893 There's a Mitch Gilliam outside. 781 00:29:24,893 --> 00:29:26,721 He says he's your brother. 782 00:29:26,721 --> 00:29:28,244 Mitch? Send him in. 783 00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:31,378 DEBRA: Tonight, America is going to get 784 00:29:31,378 --> 00:29:33,162 its first impressions of Mays Gilliam. 785 00:29:33,162 --> 00:29:35,295 You know what they say about first impressions. 786 00:29:35,295 --> 00:29:37,297 [ grunts] 787 00:29:37,297 --> 00:29:38,646 Oh! Oh... 788 00:29:38,646 --> 00:29:39,734 Look at my little brother, man! 789 00:29:39,734 --> 00:29:41,388 Man, I thought you said 790 00:29:41,388 --> 00:29:42,824 you were going to call me when you got into town! 791 00:29:42,824 --> 00:29:44,173 MAYS: I was trying to call you, man, 792 00:29:44,173 --> 00:29:45,696 but I've been doing press all day. 793 00:29:45,696 --> 00:29:48,525 My little brother running for President. 794 00:29:48,525 --> 00:29:50,310 Let me introduce you to Martin Geller, 795 00:29:50,310 --> 00:29:51,572 Debra Lassiter. 796 00:29:51,572 --> 00:29:53,313 What's happening with you, baby? 797 00:29:53,313 --> 00:29:55,228 Thank you for what you're doing for my brother. 798 00:29:55,228 --> 00:29:56,707 Appreciate it. 799 00:29:56,707 --> 00:29:57,970 And how about you, thriller? 800 00:29:57,970 --> 00:29:59,536 What's going on?Nice to meet you. 801 00:29:59,536 --> 00:30:00,842 And what do you do for a living? 802 00:30:00,842 --> 00:30:02,757 Well, um... I'm a bail bondsman. 803 00:30:02,757 --> 00:30:04,759 I got an office on the South Side. 804 00:30:04,759 --> 00:30:06,413 [ chuckling]: Bail bondsman. 805 00:30:06,413 --> 00:30:08,894 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 806 00:30:08,894 --> 00:30:11,157 Wow. A bail bondsman. 807 00:30:11,157 --> 00:30:12,419 Well, that... 808 00:30:12,419 --> 00:30:13,681 that's... 809 00:30:13,681 --> 00:30:15,030 How's business? 810 00:30:15,030 --> 00:30:16,292 I'll tell you how business is. 811 00:30:16,292 --> 00:30:17,946 Business is great. 812 00:30:17,946 --> 00:30:19,861 Thank God for crime. 813 00:30:19,861 --> 00:30:22,472 [ laughing] 814 00:30:22,472 --> 00:30:23,734 Thank God for crime. 815 00:30:23,734 --> 00:30:26,128 Could y... could y'all give us a minute? 816 00:30:26,128 --> 00:30:27,521 Five. 817 00:30:27,521 --> 00:30:30,263 Yeah... 818 00:30:30,263 --> 00:30:31,612 Nice. Real nice. 819 00:30:31,612 --> 00:30:32,918 Look at you, man! 820 00:30:32,918 --> 00:30:34,484 I see you all on the shows, politicking. 821 00:30:34,484 --> 00:30:35,790 Come on over here. 822 00:30:35,790 --> 00:30:37,705 Like the way your campaign going? 823 00:30:37,705 --> 00:30:39,925 MITCH: Look at this. 824 00:30:39,925 --> 00:30:42,014 Let me ask you something, little brother. 825 00:30:42,014 --> 00:30:43,711 When they gonna let you speak? 826 00:30:43,711 --> 00:30:45,147 I've been talking all day, man. 827 00:30:45,147 --> 00:30:46,757 I was talking to the press this morning. 828 00:30:46,757 --> 00:30:48,063 You been talking, but I'm saying 829 00:30:48,063 --> 00:30:50,152 when they gonna let you speak your mind? 830 00:30:50,152 --> 00:30:51,414 This ain't you. You going to say this shit? 831 00:30:51,414 --> 00:30:52,763 This shit is booty. 832 00:30:52,763 --> 00:30:55,331 You go out there and say this if you want to, 833 00:30:55,331 --> 00:30:57,551 watch sandman come sweep your butt offstage. 834 00:30:57,551 --> 00:30:58,813 Look at this. You got a poster: 835 00:30:58,813 --> 00:31:00,423 "Mays"-- who they talking about? Willie? 836 00:31:00,423 --> 00:31:03,035 [ chuckling]: Let me tell you something, Mays. 837 00:31:03,035 --> 00:31:04,427 These are everyday common folk, 838 00:31:04,427 --> 00:31:06,125 working people out there. 839 00:31:06,125 --> 00:31:08,779 These are laborers, construction workers, nurses. 840 00:31:08,779 --> 00:31:11,347 You play the game when you working for them. 841 00:31:11,347 --> 00:31:12,609 This is your campaign. 842 00:31:12,609 --> 00:31:14,176 You're supposed to be in charge. 843 00:31:14,176 --> 00:31:16,309 [ door opens] 844 00:31:16,309 --> 00:31:18,485 It's time, Mays. 845 00:31:18,485 --> 00:31:20,617 I got to go. 846 00:31:23,142 --> 00:31:24,404 I love you, man, 847 00:31:24,404 --> 00:31:26,667 and I'm with you no matter what. 848 00:31:26,667 --> 00:31:28,016 Okay? 849 00:31:28,016 --> 00:31:29,322 Go get 'em. 850 00:31:29,322 --> 00:31:30,584 I'll see you out there, all right? 851 00:31:30,584 --> 00:31:31,846 All right. 852 00:31:31,846 --> 00:31:34,457 Hey, Mays... speak. 853 00:31:34,457 --> 00:31:36,982 [ crowd cheering] 854 00:31:36,982 --> 00:31:41,812 MAN [ over P.A.]: Chicago, please welcome your next President, 855 00:31:41,812 --> 00:31:44,598 Alderman Mays Gilliam! 856 00:32:03,660 --> 00:32:05,358 What the hell is he doing? 857 00:32:09,971 --> 00:32:14,106 You know, they had a speech written for me... 858 00:32:14,106 --> 00:32:15,977 about what the people need, 859 00:32:15,977 --> 00:32:18,153 but you guys are the people. 860 00:32:18,153 --> 00:32:19,415 [ crowd agreeing] 861 00:32:19,415 --> 00:32:21,852 You know what you need. 862 00:32:21,852 --> 00:32:23,593 Better schools.MAN: Yes, sir! 863 00:32:23,593 --> 00:32:24,943 Better jobs. 864 00:32:24,943 --> 00:32:26,205 WOMAN: Oh, yeah. 865 00:32:26,205 --> 00:32:27,597 Less crime.MAN: Right on! 866 00:32:27,597 --> 00:32:29,121 WOMAN: Tell it! 867 00:32:29,121 --> 00:32:33,429 How many of you, right now, work two jobs 868 00:32:33,429 --> 00:32:37,564 just to have enough money to be broke? 869 00:32:37,564 --> 00:32:39,044 MAYS: That ain't right. 870 00:32:39,044 --> 00:32:40,262 MAN: Sounds like my brother-in-law! 871 00:32:40,262 --> 00:32:42,177 If you work two jobs, 872 00:32:42,177 --> 00:32:44,179 and at the end of the week, 873 00:32:44,179 --> 00:32:46,965 you got just enough money to get your broke butt home, 874 00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:50,142 let me hear you say, "That ain't right!" 875 00:32:50,142 --> 00:32:52,622 CROWD: That ain't right! 876 00:32:52,622 --> 00:32:54,537 MAYS: How many of you 877 00:32:54,537 --> 00:32:57,366 have children that they call stupid? 878 00:32:57,366 --> 00:32:58,628 Don't be ashamed! 879 00:32:58,628 --> 00:33:00,239 It ain't your fault. 880 00:33:00,239 --> 00:33:02,981 I asked my niece the other day, "What's four plus four?" 881 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:04,460 She said, "44." 882 00:33:04,460 --> 00:33:06,027 But that ain't her fault! 883 00:33:06,027 --> 00:33:07,855 That's the school's fault. 884 00:33:07,855 --> 00:33:12,207 Now, if your child's school has old-ass books 885 00:33:12,207 --> 00:33:14,035 and brand-new metal detectors, 886 00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:16,124 let me hear you say, "That ain't right!" 887 00:33:16,124 --> 00:33:18,039 CROWD: That ain't right!That ain't right! 888 00:33:18,039 --> 00:33:20,346 MAYS: It ain't right! And now we got 889 00:33:20,346 --> 00:33:24,611 these corporations stealing all the money. 890 00:33:24,611 --> 00:33:27,483 They ain't stealing their money. They stealing our money! 891 00:33:27,483 --> 00:33:28,702 The pension. 892 00:33:28,702 --> 00:33:30,617 You work for 35 years. 893 00:33:30,617 --> 00:33:33,315 You thought you was gonna leave your kids a will, 894 00:33:33,315 --> 00:33:35,013 now you gonna leave 'em a won't! 895 00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,798 You show up to get your pension, 896 00:33:37,798 --> 00:33:39,060 they give you a pen! 897 00:33:39,060 --> 00:33:40,627 Give you a damn pen! 898 00:33:40,627 --> 00:33:43,369 Now what the hell am I supposed to do with a pen? 899 00:33:43,369 --> 00:33:47,068 I should just stab you in the neck with this pen, Mr. Pension Taker. 900 00:33:47,068 --> 00:33:49,114 Get your hand out of my pocket! 901 00:33:49,114 --> 00:33:52,813 Taking everybody's pension and nobody going to jail. 902 00:33:52,813 --> 00:33:55,294 That'’s some bullshit, man. That'’s some bullshit. 903 00:33:55,294 --> 00:33:59,037 Meanwhile you or I, we steal a Big Mac with cheese, 904 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,082 next thing you know we'’re on death row. 905 00:34:01,082 --> 00:34:06,305 [ all shouting] 906 00:34:06,305 --> 00:34:11,353 How many of you work in a city you can't afford to live in? 907 00:34:11,353 --> 00:34:12,789 That ain't right! 908 00:34:12,789 --> 00:34:14,052 [ shouting] 909 00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:15,662 How many of you 910 00:34:15,662 --> 00:34:17,272 work in a mall that you can't afford to shop in? 911 00:34:17,272 --> 00:34:18,578 That ain't right! 912 00:34:18,578 --> 00:34:21,363 How many of you clean up a hotel 913 00:34:21,363 --> 00:34:24,627 you ain't never gonna be able to stay in? 914 00:34:24,627 --> 00:34:26,194 That ain't right! 915 00:34:26,194 --> 00:34:28,501 CROWD: That ain't right! That ain't right! 916 00:34:28,501 --> 00:34:30,242 [ clamoring] 917 00:34:30,242 --> 00:34:32,461 And we got nurses that work in hospitals 918 00:34:32,461 --> 00:34:34,463 that they can't even afford to get sick in. 919 00:34:34,463 --> 00:34:35,986 CROWD: That ain't right! 920 00:34:35,986 --> 00:34:37,249 It ain't right! 921 00:34:37,249 --> 00:34:40,513 It ain't right! It ain't right! 922 00:34:40,513 --> 00:34:42,210 It isn't right! 923 00:34:43,951 --> 00:34:47,346 That shit is wrong. 924 00:34:47,346 --> 00:34:48,825 [ cheering] 925 00:34:48,825 --> 00:34:50,523 MAYS: It's dead wrong! 926 00:34:54,614 --> 00:34:56,442 I'm Mays Gilliam, 927 00:34:56,442 --> 00:35:00,185 and I'm running for President of the United States of America. 928 00:35:00,185 --> 00:35:02,883 CROWD [ chanting]: That ain't right! 929 00:35:05,015 --> 00:35:08,976 [ chanting]: That ain't right! That ain't right! 930 00:35:08,976 --> 00:35:10,238 MARTIN: No questions. 931 00:35:10,238 --> 00:35:11,674 Sorry. 932 00:35:11,674 --> 00:35:13,763 Where's Mitch?Mays! Mays! Mays! 933 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:16,462 You go to work. 934 00:35:16,462 --> 00:35:17,811 Handle your business. 935 00:35:17,811 --> 00:35:19,421 If you need me, you call me, hear? 936 00:35:19,421 --> 00:35:20,857 I'm gonna call you. 937 00:35:20,857 --> 00:35:22,250 MITCH: Get that camera out of my face. 938 00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:23,643 Are you insane? 939 00:35:23,643 --> 00:35:25,035 You can't just go out in front of 5,000 people 940 00:35:25,035 --> 00:35:27,516 and just talk! And you said "shit." 941 00:35:27,516 --> 00:35:29,344 Presidential candidates do not say "shit." 942 00:35:29,344 --> 00:35:30,954 You show me a grown man that'’s never said "shit" 943 00:35:30,954 --> 00:35:32,956 and I'’ll show you somebody that'’s full of shit. 944 00:35:32,956 --> 00:35:34,219 Debra, hold on. 945 00:35:34,219 --> 00:35:35,785 What you just did, 946 00:35:35,785 --> 00:35:37,483 [ sighs]... that was great. 947 00:35:37,483 --> 00:35:38,875 Maybe you're right-- maybe we could tailor 948 00:35:38,875 --> 00:35:40,094 the speeches more to you. 949 00:35:40,094 --> 00:35:41,400 My speeches? 950 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:42,792 Come on, did you hear them?! 951 00:35:42,792 --> 00:35:44,751 Guys, if this thing is gonna work, 952 00:35:44,751 --> 00:35:46,056 then it's got to fit me. 953 00:35:46,056 --> 00:35:47,406 It's got to be my campaign, okay? 954 00:35:47,406 --> 00:35:48,668 This is not your campaign. 955 00:35:48,668 --> 00:35:50,278 You will do what I tell you to, 956 00:35:50,278 --> 00:35:52,106 or you'll be back in D.C. on your damn bicycle. 957 00:35:52,106 --> 00:35:54,543 Hey, I'm the one that's running for President here. 958 00:35:54,543 --> 00:35:56,676 Now, if we're gonna run this campaign, 959 00:35:56,676 --> 00:35:58,286 it's gotta go my way.Mays... 960 00:35:58,286 --> 00:35:59,679 We're gonna do it the way I want it done. 961 00:35:59,679 --> 00:36:01,071 Now hold on. 962 00:36:01,071 --> 00:36:02,769 I-I don't know if that's such a good idea. 963 00:36:02,769 --> 00:36:05,685 Hey, if you don't know, you better ask somebody. 964 00:36:05,685 --> 00:36:07,339 [ intro to "Who We Be" playing] 965 00:36:07,339 --> 00:36:09,993 ♪ What they don't know is, the bull, the drama ♪ 966 00:36:09,993 --> 00:36:12,953 ♪ The ..., the armor, the city, the farmer, the babies ♪ 967 00:36:12,953 --> 00:36:14,824 ♪ The mama, what? 968 00:36:14,824 --> 00:36:17,000 ♪ The projects, the drugs, the children, the thugs ♪ 969 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,525 ♪ The tears, the hugs, the love, the slugs... ♪ 970 00:36:19,525 --> 00:36:21,048 NEWS ANCHORWOMAN: After a slow start, 971 00:36:21,048 --> 00:36:22,919 Mays Gilliam has made some dramatic changes 972 00:36:22,919 --> 00:36:24,660 in his presidential campaign. 973 00:36:24,660 --> 00:36:27,533 ♪ They don't know ♪ Da-da, da-da, da-da 974 00:36:27,533 --> 00:36:30,623 ♪ Who we be ♪ Da-da, da-da, da-da 975 00:36:30,623 --> 00:36:33,016 ♪ They don't know ♪ Da-da, da-da, da-da 976 00:36:33,016 --> 00:36:34,366 ♪ Who we be... 977 00:36:34,366 --> 00:36:36,324 MAYS: Hi. I'm Mays Gilliam, 978 00:36:36,324 --> 00:36:39,588 candidate for President of the United States. 979 00:36:39,588 --> 00:36:42,200 This is my new headquarters. 980 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,506 The individuals you see before you 981 00:36:44,506 --> 00:36:46,552 will help me guide my campaign. 982 00:36:46,552 --> 00:36:48,423 These are my people. 983 00:36:48,423 --> 00:36:50,773 ♪ They don't know ♪ Da-da, da-da, da-da... 984 00:36:50,773 --> 00:36:54,995 AD ANNOUNCER: Mays Gilliam is turning the establishment on its ear 985 00:36:54,995 --> 00:36:56,953 with his new controversial campaign ads. 986 00:36:56,953 --> 00:36:59,739 ♪ Who we be ♪ Da-da, da-da, da-da 987 00:36:59,739 --> 00:37:02,045 ♪ They don't know ♪ Da-da, da-da, da-da... 988 00:37:02,045 --> 00:37:06,876 AD ANNOUNCER 2: If you love America, vote Mays Gilliam for President. 989 00:37:06,876 --> 00:37:09,401 Paid for by Citizens for Mays Gilliam. 990 00:37:09,401 --> 00:37:12,230 [ slow, funky music playing] 991 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:25,591 ANNOUNCER: The part of Mays Gilliam's Security Director 992 00:37:25,591 --> 00:37:30,117 will now be played by Muhammad Muhammad Muhammad. 993 00:37:30,117 --> 00:37:32,728 Child care is one of the most important issues 994 00:37:32,728 --> 00:37:34,426 facing this country today. 995 00:37:34,426 --> 00:37:37,429 The working mother has to take her child to a nanny. 996 00:37:37,429 --> 00:37:40,301 The nanny has to take her child to a baby-sitter. 997 00:37:40,301 --> 00:37:43,261 The baby-sitter has to take her child to day care. 998 00:37:43,261 --> 00:37:45,915 Now on the count of three, I want everybody 999 00:37:45,915 --> 00:37:48,091 to take care of their own damn kids! 1000 00:37:48,091 --> 00:37:50,790 Whose baby is this? Whose baby is it? 1001 00:37:50,790 --> 00:37:52,400 It ain't mine. 1002 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,795 Gay people want what every other American wants: 1003 00:37:55,795 --> 00:37:57,449 A good house, a good job! 1004 00:37:57,449 --> 00:38:00,887 I believe in gay rights because when I see gay people, 1005 00:38:00,887 --> 00:38:02,628 all I'm seeing are people, 1006 00:38:02,628 --> 00:38:04,804 normal people like every other American. 1007 00:38:04,804 --> 00:38:09,243 [ all cheering][ disco music playing] 1008 00:38:11,245 --> 00:38:13,900 Thank you, thank you for inviting me 1009 00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:15,423 to the Player's Ball! 1010 00:38:15,423 --> 00:38:18,948 [ cheering] 1011 00:38:18,948 --> 00:38:20,776 Now, America needs to change its ways. 1012 00:38:20,776 --> 00:38:22,996 I promise, if I'm your President, 1013 00:38:22,996 --> 00:38:25,085 I will take care of everybody: 1014 00:38:25,085 --> 00:38:29,785 big business and small business, show business and ho business. 1015 00:38:29,785 --> 00:38:32,701 [ all cheering] 1016 00:38:35,835 --> 00:38:39,317 [ phone ringing] 1017 00:38:41,580 --> 00:38:43,756 [ phone beeps]Hello, Debra. 1018 00:38:43,756 --> 00:38:47,150 Bill, I am in Detroit at a Player's Ball 1019 00:38:47,150 --> 00:38:48,804 with pimps and whores. 1020 00:38:48,804 --> 00:38:50,545 Excuse me-- "hoes"! 1021 00:38:50,545 --> 00:38:52,330 But, listen, I can't do this. 1022 00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:53,592 You got to get me out of here. 1023 00:38:53,592 --> 00:38:54,854 I can't control him! 1024 00:38:54,854 --> 00:38:56,334 He won't listen to me! 1025 00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:58,161 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Debra. 1026 00:38:58,161 --> 00:39:00,425 No, no, no, I-I need you out there, and this is going great. 1027 00:39:00,425 --> 00:39:01,687 But... 1028 00:39:01,687 --> 00:39:03,819 Now, look, look, this is what we wanted. 1029 00:39:03,819 --> 00:39:05,821 I love this guy. "That ain't right!" 1030 00:39:05,821 --> 00:39:08,215 He really thinks he can make a difference. 1031 00:39:08,215 --> 00:39:09,521 Bill...? 1032 00:39:09,521 --> 00:39:10,957 Yeah, look, Debra, stop worrying. 1033 00:39:10,957 --> 00:39:12,567 This will work out fine. Bye. 1034 00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:15,265 Don't I know you? 1035 00:39:15,265 --> 00:39:17,529 [ yelling]: No! 1036 00:39:17,529 --> 00:39:19,269 [ R&B intro playing] 1037 00:39:25,624 --> 00:39:29,279 ♪ He feels good, things are going his way ♪ 1038 00:39:29,279 --> 00:39:33,675 ♪ He just might be the President someday... ♪ 1039 00:39:33,675 --> 00:39:36,025 [ crowd cheering] 1040 00:39:36,025 --> 00:39:38,898 [ marching band playing R&B melody] 1041 00:39:42,162 --> 00:39:43,511 What do you think about the band? 1042 00:39:43,511 --> 00:39:44,773 DEBRA: I love the band. 1043 00:39:44,773 --> 00:39:49,212 [ drums beating R&B rhythm] 1044 00:39:56,306 --> 00:39:58,265 [ horns playing melody] 1045 00:40:08,188 --> 00:40:10,364 Mays, darling? 1046 00:40:10,364 --> 00:40:12,758 I've been thinking. I want a small wedding, 1047 00:40:12,758 --> 00:40:14,324 but I think I want 150, maybe 200 people. 1048 00:40:14,324 --> 00:40:15,587 And I know I've always said 1049 00:40:15,587 --> 00:40:16,892 I wanted a wedding in a church, 1050 00:40:16,892 --> 00:40:18,154 but lately, I've been thinking 1051 00:40:18,154 --> 00:40:19,417 about the Botanical Gardens. 1052 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,070 We could do it by the tulips. 1053 00:40:21,070 --> 00:40:22,594 Oh, it'll be beautiful, Mays. 1054 00:40:22,594 --> 00:40:25,161 Security! [ Kim screams] 1055 00:40:25,161 --> 00:40:26,598 [ car door slams, tires screech] 1056 00:40:26,598 --> 00:40:28,861 [ R&B drumming continues] 1057 00:40:38,044 --> 00:40:40,176 Who the hell is Mays Gilliam? 1058 00:40:40,176 --> 00:40:42,352 He's running against you, sir. 1059 00:40:42,352 --> 00:40:45,312 What happened to, uh, Gaines? 1060 00:40:45,312 --> 00:40:46,618 He died in a plane crash. 1061 00:40:46,618 --> 00:40:47,880 Get out of here! 1062 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,359 Gaines is dead? 1063 00:40:49,359 --> 00:40:51,274 Don't you remember? It was on the news. 1064 00:40:51,274 --> 00:40:53,363 Not my news. 1065 00:40:53,363 --> 00:40:56,976 This fella Gilliam is an alderman from D.C. 1066 00:40:56,976 --> 00:40:59,587 He took Gaines' place, sir. 1067 00:40:59,587 --> 00:41:01,197 I'm running against this guy? 1068 00:41:01,197 --> 00:41:02,503 Yes, sir. 1069 00:41:02,503 --> 00:41:03,809 [ chuckling]: Well... 1070 00:41:03,809 --> 00:41:05,071 This is some bullshit. 1071 00:41:05,071 --> 00:41:06,899 This is my time. 1072 00:41:06,899 --> 00:41:09,902 I've been Vice President for eight years. 1073 00:41:09,902 --> 00:41:13,122 I am a war hero, and I am Sharon Stone's cousin! 1074 00:41:13,122 --> 00:41:15,516 And I'’ll be damned if I'’m going to let 1075 00:41:15,516 --> 00:41:17,475 my election be ruined by this asshole! 1076 00:41:18,867 --> 00:41:20,390 I want this guy done. 1077 00:41:20,390 --> 00:41:22,262 You hear me? Finish him! 1078 00:41:22,262 --> 00:41:26,309 He will be destroyed, sir, as you wish. 1079 00:41:26,309 --> 00:41:28,834 ANNOUNCER: This is the White House without Mays Gilliam. 1080 00:41:28,834 --> 00:41:30,575 Peaceful, isn't it? 1081 00:41:30,575 --> 00:41:32,620 Now, this is the White House if Gilliam is elected. 1082 00:41:37,712 --> 00:41:41,324 [ ominous music plays on TV] 1083 00:41:41,324 --> 00:41:44,545 Let's keep Mays Gilliam out of the White House. 1084 00:41:44,545 --> 00:41:46,068 Vote Brian Lewis for President. 1085 00:41:46,068 --> 00:41:47,766 It's your last chance. 1086 00:41:48,984 --> 00:41:50,856 How do you want to handle this? 1087 00:41:50,856 --> 00:41:53,249 Well, I don't want to go negative. 1088 00:41:53,249 --> 00:41:54,816 Mays! 1089 00:41:54,816 --> 00:41:56,644 Hold on, nobody wants to hear that. 1090 00:41:56,644 --> 00:41:59,081 I want people to vote for me, not against Lewis. 1091 00:41:59,081 --> 00:42:01,475 Well, people don't know what they want to hear. 1092 00:42:01,475 --> 00:42:03,085 Mays, we have to respond. 1093 00:42:03,085 --> 00:42:05,435 I think we go with something measured, accurate. 1094 00:42:05,435 --> 00:42:06,872 Let's call him on his record! 1095 00:42:06,872 --> 00:42:09,091 You can't challenge Lewis on his record 1096 00:42:09,091 --> 00:42:10,876 when Mays doesn't have one.How about a massage? 1097 00:42:12,921 --> 00:42:15,881 STADIUM ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, 1098 00:42:15,881 --> 00:42:19,362 please welcome presidential candidate Mays Gilliam! 1099 00:42:19,362 --> 00:42:21,800 [ crowd cheering] 1100 00:42:26,413 --> 00:42:27,893 Yeah! 1101 00:42:27,893 --> 00:42:29,155 [ crowd cheering] 1102 00:42:29,155 --> 00:42:30,156 ANNOUNCER: Mays Gilliam, everybody! 1103 00:42:30,156 --> 00:42:31,679 Thank you! Thank you! 1104 00:42:31,679 --> 00:42:34,116 RADIO HOST: This is conservative talk 520. 1105 00:42:34,116 --> 00:42:35,640 You're listening to Big Dave. 1106 00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,120 Negative ads. Lewis is up, Gilliam is down. 1107 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,427 I think it's great! You know, bottom line, 1108 00:42:40,427 --> 00:42:42,472 I don't think I'd want Gilliam and his homeys 1109 00:42:42,472 --> 00:42:44,170 to be in the White House. 1110 00:42:44,170 --> 00:42:46,651 [ crowd cheering]Thank you! Thank you! 1111 00:42:46,651 --> 00:42:48,914 BIG DAVE: People are saying these ads are dirty politics. 1112 00:42:48,914 --> 00:42:50,655 I say give me a small break! 1113 00:42:50,655 --> 00:42:52,526 I mean, we're not talking about running a... a rib shack, 1114 00:42:52,526 --> 00:42:53,875 we're talking about running a country! 1115 00:42:53,875 --> 00:42:55,834 He's running for President, 1116 00:42:55,834 --> 00:42:57,531 and every vote counts. 1117 00:42:57,531 --> 00:42:59,011 Ladies and gentlemen, 1118 00:42:59,011 --> 00:43:00,447 Mays Gilliam! 1119 00:43:00,447 --> 00:43:02,144 CROWD [ chanting]: Mays! Mays! Mays! 1120 00:43:02,144 --> 00:43:03,624 BIG DAVE: And, you know, if these ads are so bad, 1121 00:43:03,624 --> 00:43:05,147 why hasn't Gilliam said anything? Caller... 1122 00:43:05,147 --> 00:43:07,280 WOMAN [ on radio]: Howard Stern rocks! 1123 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,108 You're on with Big Dave. 1124 00:43:09,108 --> 00:43:11,197 MAN [ on radio]: The reason Gilliam hasn't responded, 1125 00:43:11,197 --> 00:43:13,852 is because he has too much integrity. 1126 00:43:13,852 --> 00:43:17,029 [ crowd booing][ Mays grunting and yelping] 1127 00:43:20,772 --> 00:43:23,731 Hey, Mays, we just got endorsements 1128 00:43:23,731 --> 00:43:27,213 from Raekwon the Chef and Ghost Face Killa. 1129 00:43:27,213 --> 00:43:28,475 Is this good? 1130 00:43:28,475 --> 00:43:29,694 It's great. 1131 00:43:31,652 --> 00:43:34,263 Where are we on this running mate thing? 1132 00:43:34,263 --> 00:43:35,569 I've been making calls. 1133 00:43:35,569 --> 00:43:37,223 Nobody wants to run with you. 1134 00:43:37,223 --> 00:43:38,485 Well, who'd you call? 1135 00:43:38,485 --> 00:43:41,357 DEBRA: Everybody. 1136 00:43:41,357 --> 00:43:42,794 Did you call Hammer? 1137 00:43:42,794 --> 00:43:46,493 No, I did not call Hammer. 1138 00:43:47,755 --> 00:43:49,670 Well, then you didn't call everybody. 1139 00:43:49,670 --> 00:43:52,455 WOMAN: Mr. Gilliam, can I have your autograph? 1140 00:43:52,455 --> 00:43:54,675 I'll be right back. 1141 00:43:55,937 --> 00:43:57,156 Should we call Hammer? 1142 00:43:57,156 --> 00:43:58,461 No! 1143 00:43:58,461 --> 00:43:59,811 [ women giggling] 1144 00:43:59,811 --> 00:44:02,204 Say "cheese." 1145 00:44:02,204 --> 00:44:05,773 TV ANNOUNCER: Mays Gilliam did not attend this year's annual rally 1146 00:44:05,773 --> 00:44:07,993 against cancer. 1147 00:44:07,993 --> 00:44:11,431 Is Mays Gilliam for cancer or against cancer? 1148 00:44:11,431 --> 00:44:14,608 Mays Gilliam-- he's for cancer. 1149 00:44:14,608 --> 00:44:17,611 Vote Brian Lewis for President. 1150 00:44:17,611 --> 00:44:19,265 It's your last chance. 1151 00:44:19,265 --> 00:44:23,182 [ crowd shouting][ Cancer lover! ] 1152 00:44:23,182 --> 00:44:25,750 No, no, he does not get away with this crap! 1153 00:44:25,750 --> 00:44:27,447 Okay, this is what we're gonna do. 1154 00:44:27,447 --> 00:44:28,666 You ever watch Bugs Bunny? 1155 00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:30,189 Bugs Bunny? 1156 00:44:30,189 --> 00:44:31,756 Him and Elmer Fudd would fight all the time, 1157 00:44:31,756 --> 00:44:33,148 and Bugs would shoot him in the face, 1158 00:44:33,148 --> 00:44:34,889 and Bugs would drop a anvil on his head. 1159 00:44:34,889 --> 00:44:36,369 But you know what made Elmer really mad? 1160 00:44:36,369 --> 00:44:38,153 When Bugs Bunny kissed him. 1161 00:44:38,153 --> 00:44:40,025 And that's what we gotta do, we got to kiss this bitch. 1162 00:44:40,025 --> 00:44:42,070 How do you propose we do that?MAYS: Well, watch this. 1163 00:44:42,070 --> 00:44:43,332 Hi, I'’m a Klansman. 1164 00:44:43,332 --> 00:44:45,117 I hate niggers, Jews and fags. 1165 00:44:45,117 --> 00:44:46,509 But I love Brian Lewis. 1166 00:44:46,509 --> 00:44:47,946 [ speaking in Arabic] 1167 00:44:47,946 --> 00:44:49,164 MAN [ translating]: Yo, yo, wassup? 1168 00:44:49,164 --> 00:44:50,426 I'm Osama Bin Laden. 1169 00:44:50,426 --> 00:44:53,038 I hate America, but I love Brian Lewis. 1170 00:44:53,038 --> 00:44:55,431 ANNOUNCER: Paid for by Osama bin Laden. 1171 00:44:55,431 --> 00:44:58,130 TV ANCHORWOMAN: Sharon Stone is a defector. 1172 00:44:58,130 --> 00:45:00,001 That's what Lewis campaign insiders are saying 1173 00:45:00,001 --> 00:45:02,003 about the Hollywood star and cousin of Vice President 1174 00:45:02,003 --> 00:45:05,354 Brian Lewis, after Stone's surprise endorsement 1175 00:45:05,354 --> 00:45:06,747 of Mays Gilliam. 1176 00:45:06,747 --> 00:45:08,488 I don't believe it! I don't... 1177 00:45:08,488 --> 00:45:10,620 [ knocking]Yeah? 1178 00:45:10,620 --> 00:45:13,188 REPORTER: ...pundits are calling him a legitimate contender. 1179 00:45:13,188 --> 00:45:14,581 I know! 1180 00:45:14,581 --> 00:45:16,714 I know. Did you hear...? 1181 00:45:16,714 --> 00:45:18,846 [ ominious music playing] 1182 00:45:18,846 --> 00:45:20,152 What are you doing here? 1183 00:45:20,152 --> 00:45:21,719 Gilliam is over 30 points. 1184 00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:23,808 So that means, even if he loses, 1185 00:45:23,808 --> 00:45:25,679 he's the front-runner in 2008. 1186 00:45:25,679 --> 00:45:27,550 Now, in case you've forgotten, 1187 00:45:27,550 --> 00:45:29,901 I intend to run for President in 2008, 1188 00:45:29,901 --> 00:45:32,251 and I am not running against him. 1189 00:45:32,251 --> 00:45:33,687 So this is over. 1190 00:45:33,687 --> 00:45:35,384 Now either you put a stop to it or I will. 1191 00:45:35,384 --> 00:45:37,691 I came onboard to run a campaign 1192 00:45:37,691 --> 00:45:39,824 for a man we didn't expect to win, 1193 00:45:39,824 --> 00:45:41,826 not to sabotage him so he'd lose. 1194 00:45:41,826 --> 00:45:44,176 Oh, come on, Debra, you're in this as thick as I am. 1195 00:45:44,176 --> 00:45:45,481 Of course he's supposed to lose! 1196 00:45:45,481 --> 00:45:46,961 That's why we picked him. 1197 00:45:46,961 --> 00:45:49,659 Now, are you with me... or are you with him? 1198 00:45:49,659 --> 00:45:51,661 I thought you wanted what was best for the party. 1199 00:45:51,661 --> 00:45:53,272 I'm what's best for the party! 1200 00:45:53,272 --> 00:45:54,839 Oh. What's the matter, Bill? 1201 00:45:54,839 --> 00:45:59,713 Democracy doesn't work for you when you're not winning? 1202 00:45:59,713 --> 00:46:01,759 I'm with him. 1203 00:46:07,939 --> 00:46:10,985 I'm with him? 1204 00:46:10,985 --> 00:46:14,510 [ "Disco Inferno" playing] 1205 00:46:19,689 --> 00:46:21,213 Who are these people again? 1206 00:46:21,213 --> 00:46:23,345 The Urban Business Board.Okay, we're ready. 1207 00:46:23,345 --> 00:46:24,912 Hey, what are your plans for Social Security? 1208 00:46:24,912 --> 00:46:26,174 Give it to old people. 1209 00:46:26,174 --> 00:46:27,306 What are your plans on global warming? 1210 00:46:27,306 --> 00:46:28,394 Global ice tea. 1211 00:46:28,394 --> 00:46:30,135 You the man!You the woman! 1212 00:46:30,135 --> 00:46:32,964 ♪ Burn, baby, burn! [ crowd cheering] 1213 00:46:32,964 --> 00:46:34,400 Mays, I want to introduce you 1214 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:35,749 to Chester Norris Allen. 1215 00:46:35,749 --> 00:46:37,011 Hey. 1216 00:46:37,011 --> 00:46:38,534 He owns a bottling plant in D.C., 1217 00:46:38,534 --> 00:46:40,449 and I spoke to him about our problem. 1218 00:46:40,449 --> 00:46:42,364 We've got a nice check for you.Sorry, but we can't 1219 00:46:42,364 --> 00:46:43,539 take your money, 'cause you guys 1220 00:46:43,539 --> 00:46:44,540 sell malt liquor to kids. 1221 00:46:44,540 --> 00:46:46,107 I do no such thing. 1222 00:46:46,107 --> 00:46:47,152 Aw, come on, man. 1223 00:46:47,152 --> 00:46:48,196 It's orange beer 1224 00:46:48,196 --> 00:46:49,241 with a nipple top. 1225 00:46:49,241 --> 00:46:50,459 Now who's that for? 1226 00:46:50,459 --> 00:46:52,244 It's "Crib Malt Liquor," man! 1227 00:46:52,244 --> 00:46:53,811 He's unbelievable! 1228 00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:55,900 Damn it, Mays. We need that money. 1229 00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:58,467 Why do you make everything so difficult? 1230 00:46:58,467 --> 00:47:00,208 It's "Crib Malt Liquor." 1231 00:47:00,208 --> 00:47:01,383 "Crib Malt Liquor"? 1232 00:47:01,383 --> 00:47:03,037 "Just like Mama used to make"? 1233 00:47:03,037 --> 00:47:04,996 Whose mama? Not my mama! 1234 00:47:04,996 --> 00:47:07,389 TV ANCHORWOMAN: The situation is getting tense 1235 00:47:07,389 --> 00:47:09,739 with the threat of the bus line being shut down. 1236 00:47:09,739 --> 00:47:12,742 Now, protestors took their concerns to transit officials, 1237 00:47:12,742 --> 00:47:15,833 but talks broke down when the newly-appointed alderman, 1238 00:47:15,833 --> 00:47:17,225 Reginald Shannon, 1239 00:47:17,225 --> 00:47:19,314 was punched in the face by an angry protester. 1240 00:47:19,314 --> 00:47:21,403 Oil talks resumed... 1241 00:47:21,403 --> 00:47:23,057 Good evening, sir. 1242 00:47:23,057 --> 00:47:24,929 Yeah, what's up, Nikki? 1243 00:47:24,929 --> 00:47:26,887 Well, I noticed you weren't at the party, 1244 00:47:26,887 --> 00:47:28,671 so I thought... 1245 00:47:28,671 --> 00:47:32,284 if there is anything you would like for me to do, 1246 00:47:32,284 --> 00:47:33,851 I would be happy to. 1247 00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:36,592 Could I ask you something? 1248 00:47:36,592 --> 00:47:40,248 Yes. 1249 00:47:40,248 --> 00:47:44,122 You know, you seem like a nice girl. 1250 00:47:44,122 --> 00:47:46,472 How'd you get into this line of work? 1251 00:47:46,472 --> 00:47:49,736 Oh. 1252 00:47:49,736 --> 00:47:52,260 Well... I... 1253 00:47:52,260 --> 00:47:54,393 went to the University of Nebraska 1254 00:47:54,393 --> 00:47:57,135 where I majored in theater and communications. 1255 00:47:57,135 --> 00:47:58,701 I did some extra work 1256 00:47:58,701 --> 00:48:00,965 in a couple things that went straight to video. 1257 00:48:00,965 --> 00:48:02,880 Whoo! 1258 00:48:04,707 --> 00:48:05,839 Okay. 1259 00:48:05,839 --> 00:48:08,276 Can I ask you a question? 1260 00:48:08,276 --> 00:48:09,756 Yeah, sure. 1261 00:48:09,756 --> 00:48:12,541 Since I've been here, you haven't really given me 1262 00:48:12,541 --> 00:48:14,935 any... assignments. 1263 00:48:14,935 --> 00:48:17,895 I was wondering if you find me attractive. 1264 00:48:19,984 --> 00:48:23,291 Oh, I... I think you're... 1265 00:48:23,291 --> 00:48:25,903 I think you're very attractive. 1266 00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,208 It's just that... 1267 00:48:27,208 --> 00:48:30,037 I like to get to know people 1268 00:48:30,037 --> 00:48:31,909 before I get involved. 1269 00:48:33,301 --> 00:48:36,652 I don't mean to be out of line, sir, 1270 00:48:36,652 --> 00:48:39,394 but, um... are you? 1271 00:48:41,831 --> 00:48:43,485 [ whispering]: Am I what? 1272 00:48:43,485 --> 00:48:46,488 Trying to get to know somebody. 1273 00:48:49,230 --> 00:48:50,536 [ sighs] 1274 00:48:50,536 --> 00:48:51,929 It is late. 1275 00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:53,974 I'm outta here. 1276 00:48:53,974 --> 00:48:55,236 Girl, you need to take a cab. 1277 00:48:55,236 --> 00:48:56,498 I'll be fine. 1278 00:48:56,498 --> 00:48:57,847 I'm just gonna walk. 1279 00:49:04,115 --> 00:49:07,161 CO-WORKER: Take a cab! 1280 00:49:07,161 --> 00:49:09,555 I'll be fine. I'll walk. 1281 00:49:17,128 --> 00:49:18,433 Need a ride? 1282 00:49:24,352 --> 00:49:26,441 LISA: So where we going? 1283 00:49:26,441 --> 00:49:28,487 MAYS: Just thought I'd give you a little tour. 1284 00:49:30,445 --> 00:49:33,274 [ romantic R&B music playing] 1285 00:49:33,274 --> 00:49:39,106 ♪ I can tell you how I feel about you night and day ♪ 1286 00:49:39,106 --> 00:49:41,456 ♪ How I feel about you... 1287 00:49:41,456 --> 00:49:45,025 Now, if you look over there, it's the Lincoln Memorial. 1288 00:49:46,418 --> 00:49:47,593 Now, Lincoln freed the slaves, 1289 00:49:47,593 --> 00:49:49,247 but before he did it, 1290 00:49:49,247 --> 00:49:51,292 he said, "First, you gotta build me a statue." 1291 00:49:51,292 --> 00:49:52,772 [ laughing] 1292 00:49:52,772 --> 00:49:55,993 Now, right there is the Jefferson Memorial. 1293 00:49:55,993 --> 00:49:58,517 Now, Jefferson had a black mistress. 1294 00:49:58,517 --> 00:50:00,040 He said, "All men are created equal, 1295 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,608 but black women got the nicest ass." 1296 00:50:02,608 --> 00:50:04,958 [ laughing]He said it. 1297 00:50:04,958 --> 00:50:07,569 That's the Treasury. 1298 00:50:07,569 --> 00:50:09,136 Now, if you look real hard in the window, 1299 00:50:09,136 --> 00:50:10,398 you can see Oprah counting her money. 1300 00:50:10,398 --> 00:50:12,139 [ laughing] 1301 00:50:12,139 --> 00:50:14,315 Yep. One and trillion one...[ Lisa laughing] 1302 00:50:14,315 --> 00:50:15,577 ...one and trillion two... 1303 00:50:15,577 --> 00:50:17,014 Hey, Oprah! 1304 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,885 ♪ I can tell you how I feel 1305 00:50:18,885 --> 00:50:22,845 ♪ About you night and day... 1306 00:50:22,845 --> 00:50:24,456 LISA: I mean, what's it like, 1307 00:50:24,456 --> 00:50:26,458 like, traveling all over the country 1308 00:50:26,458 --> 00:50:28,373 and-and-and meeting all those people? 1309 00:50:28,373 --> 00:50:29,635 [ romantic song begins] 1310 00:50:29,635 --> 00:50:31,376 I like it. I like traveling. 1311 00:50:31,376 --> 00:50:33,160 I like meeting the people. 1312 00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:34,466 It's just sometimes... 1313 00:50:34,466 --> 00:50:36,903 you don't know if people like you for you. 1314 00:50:36,903 --> 00:50:38,426 You know what I mean? 1315 00:50:38,426 --> 00:50:41,603 Well, I like you for you. 1316 00:50:41,603 --> 00:50:44,302 And I think you're okay. 1317 00:50:44,302 --> 00:50:45,651 Just okay? I'm just playing. 1318 00:50:45,651 --> 00:50:47,392 [ chuckling] 1319 00:50:47,392 --> 00:50:48,915 [ birds chirping] 1320 00:50:48,915 --> 00:50:51,483 You know, I forgot how nice D.C. was. 1321 00:50:51,483 --> 00:50:53,006 I mean, I'm always working. 1322 00:50:53,006 --> 00:50:55,487 I never get a chance to check it out. 1323 00:50:55,487 --> 00:50:57,619 Well, maybe you need to take advantage 1324 00:50:57,619 --> 00:50:58,968 of what's in front of you. 1325 00:50:58,968 --> 00:51:00,622 I mean, you never know. 1326 00:51:00,622 --> 00:51:03,756 You may look up someday, and it just might not be there. 1327 00:51:06,498 --> 00:51:07,716 MAN [ yelling]: Freeze! 1328 00:51:07,716 --> 00:51:09,153 Oh, God! 1329 00:51:09,153 --> 00:51:10,632 Put your hands up in the air, 1330 00:51:10,632 --> 00:51:12,286 and step away from Mr. Gilliam! 1331 00:51:12,286 --> 00:51:13,635 It's okay! It's okay! 1332 00:51:13,635 --> 00:51:15,159 MAYS: What are you doing?! 1333 00:51:15,159 --> 00:51:16,377 DEBRA: What are you doing? 1334 00:51:16,377 --> 00:51:17,987 You can't just go dashing off 1335 00:51:17,987 --> 00:51:20,555 in the middle of the night with some damn girl! 1336 00:51:20,555 --> 00:51:22,340 MARTIN: Mays, something's happened. 1337 00:51:22,340 --> 00:51:23,645 We got to pack and get out of here. 1338 00:51:23,645 --> 00:51:25,125 Right now. 1339 00:51:25,125 --> 00:51:26,648 Will somebody make sure that she gets home safely? 1340 00:51:26,648 --> 00:51:27,997 Come on. 1341 00:51:27,997 --> 00:51:30,087 DEBRA: We have a plane waiting for us. 1342 00:51:34,352 --> 00:51:35,744 RADIO REPORTER: In Florida today, 1343 00:51:35,744 --> 00:51:37,268 guns and explosives were found 1344 00:51:37,268 --> 00:51:39,008 in a junior high school student's locker. 1345 00:51:39,008 --> 00:51:40,662 No one was injured in the incident, 1346 00:51:40,662 --> 00:51:42,577 but with just six weeks till election day, 1347 00:51:42,577 --> 00:51:45,189 this could be a hot-button issue for both parties. 1348 00:51:45,189 --> 00:51:47,800 Now, back to the Jay-Z song already in progress. 1349 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,367 [ Jay-Z rap plays] 1350 00:51:49,367 --> 00:51:50,977 Muhammad, get me a gun 1351 00:51:50,977 --> 00:51:53,545 in case another one of these kids tries to get crazy. 1352 00:51:53,545 --> 00:51:54,981 This could work in our favor. 1353 00:51:54,981 --> 00:51:57,244 Florida is a big Second Amendment state. 1354 00:51:57,244 --> 00:51:58,506 DEBRA: This is serious, Mays. 1355 00:51:58,506 --> 00:51:59,986 This is not the Player's Ball. 1356 00:51:59,986 --> 00:52:02,031 Now, you can cut into Lewis' numbers here. 1357 00:52:02,031 --> 00:52:04,425 Just talk about the kids, not about the guns. 1358 00:52:04,425 --> 00:52:05,905 If I get shot, everybody's fired. 1359 00:52:05,905 --> 00:52:07,124 REPORTER: Mr. Gilliam! 1360 00:52:07,124 --> 00:52:08,473 One question here. 1361 00:52:08,473 --> 00:52:10,127 Alderman Gilliam, there's been an outcry 1362 00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:11,737 that something needs to be done about school violence. 1363 00:52:11,737 --> 00:52:13,086 If you get into the White House, 1364 00:52:13,086 --> 00:52:14,914 what do you plan to do about this? 1365 00:52:14,914 --> 00:52:16,916 Well, I feel that we need to talk to our kids... 1366 00:52:16,916 --> 00:52:18,613 [ helicopter approaching]Because our kids are... 1367 00:52:18,613 --> 00:52:20,702 [ patriotic march playing over P.A.] 1368 00:52:27,318 --> 00:52:28,580 [ march ends] 1369 00:52:28,580 --> 00:52:30,625 MARTIN: Excuse me. 1370 00:52:32,497 --> 00:52:34,499 LEWIS: Hello, children. 1371 00:52:34,499 --> 00:52:35,848 Good morning. 1372 00:52:35,848 --> 00:52:37,197 I'm so sorry this happened. 1373 00:52:37,197 --> 00:52:38,503 All right, pay attention. 1374 00:52:38,503 --> 00:52:41,462 This is going to be a class: Bullshit 101. 1375 00:52:41,462 --> 00:52:42,898 Ladies and gentlemen, 1376 00:52:42,898 --> 00:52:45,249 our American children are hurting today 1377 00:52:45,249 --> 00:52:47,729 and I think we need to reach out to them 1378 00:52:47,729 --> 00:52:52,038 and give them all a good old-fashioned American hug. 1379 00:52:52,038 --> 00:52:54,475 Now, America is the greatest country 1380 00:52:54,475 --> 00:52:55,955 on the face of the earth. 1381 00:52:55,955 --> 00:52:58,697 And I just want to say today, 1382 00:52:58,697 --> 00:53:00,699 God bless America... 1383 00:53:00,699 --> 00:53:02,266 and no place else. 1384 00:53:02,266 --> 00:53:03,571 Thank you. 1385 00:53:03,571 --> 00:53:04,920 Thank you, children. 1386 00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:06,139 No more bombs now. 1387 00:53:06,139 --> 00:53:07,401 And don't use guns. 1388 00:53:07,401 --> 00:53:08,707 Now that went well. 1389 00:53:08,707 --> 00:53:09,969 That was very touching. 1390 00:53:09,969 --> 00:53:11,188 Kids really like me. 1391 00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:12,450 You were very genuine. 1392 00:53:12,450 --> 00:53:14,278 They responded. 1393 00:53:14,278 --> 00:53:16,367 I tried to hug a girl and a boy so I wouldn't seem sexist. 1394 00:53:16,367 --> 00:53:17,629 V.P. Lewis. 1395 00:53:17,629 --> 00:53:19,631 Mr. Vice President. 1396 00:53:19,631 --> 00:53:21,372 Well, welcome to the show, Alderman Gilliam. 1397 00:53:21,372 --> 00:53:22,982 I'm surprised 1398 00:53:22,982 --> 00:53:25,245 you're not off somewhere with your little girlfriend. 1399 00:53:25,245 --> 00:53:26,507 How'd you know about her? 1400 00:53:26,507 --> 00:53:27,769 I'm the government, son. 1401 00:53:27,769 --> 00:53:29,206 I know everything. 1402 00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:30,598 Sir, we really should debate. 1403 00:53:30,598 --> 00:53:32,339 [ chuckling] 1404 00:53:32,339 --> 00:53:34,254 Let's get something straight, Gilliam. 1405 00:53:34,254 --> 00:53:37,170 I don't know you and I don't like you. 1406 00:53:37,170 --> 00:53:39,694 Party's over, Gilliam. 1407 00:53:39,694 --> 00:53:42,784 I'’m fixing to whup your ass, you got it? 1408 00:53:42,784 --> 00:53:47,615 [ patriotic march blaring] 1409 00:53:47,615 --> 00:53:49,400 Sir, we really should debate! 1410 00:53:50,879 --> 00:53:54,579 God bless America, and no place else! 1411 00:53:58,452 --> 00:54:01,281 Sir, we just got this off the uplink. 1412 00:54:01,281 --> 00:54:02,717 What is it? 1413 00:54:02,717 --> 00:54:04,850 It's an off-the-record comment by Mays Gilliam. 1414 00:54:04,850 --> 00:54:06,112 Bad? 1415 00:54:06,112 --> 00:54:07,505 Yes, sir. 1416 00:54:07,505 --> 00:54:09,550 Good work. 1417 00:54:15,077 --> 00:54:16,078 NIKKI: Oh, oh, it's on. 1418 00:54:16,078 --> 00:54:17,819 You guys, come here. 1419 00:54:17,819 --> 00:54:19,038 ANCHORWOMAN: Vice President Lewis was on the scene 1420 00:54:19,038 --> 00:54:20,431 comforting parents and students. 1421 00:54:20,431 --> 00:54:22,128 LEWIS: Hello, my young Americans. 1422 00:54:22,128 --> 00:54:23,695 MARTIN: The press is in Lewis' back pocket. 1423 00:54:23,695 --> 00:54:25,087 LEWIS: Good morning, children. 1424 00:54:25,087 --> 00:54:27,089 ANCHORWOMAN: In this CNB News exclusive 1425 00:54:27,089 --> 00:54:29,657 our cameras caught Gilliam making what was arguably 1426 00:54:29,657 --> 00:54:31,920 the most controversial statement of the day. 1427 00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:33,270 What? 1428 00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:35,010 What do you expect? They act like us. 1429 00:54:35,010 --> 00:54:36,534 We're bombing countries all the time. 1430 00:54:36,534 --> 00:54:38,753 If I was 12, I'd probably have a gun, too. 1431 00:54:38,753 --> 00:54:40,146 Tell me you didn't say that. 1432 00:54:40,146 --> 00:54:41,713 I didn't know the camera was on me. 1433 00:54:41,713 --> 00:54:43,628 I was just playing around with some sound guy. 1434 00:54:43,628 --> 00:54:45,804 You didn't know the camera was on you? 1435 00:54:45,804 --> 00:54:47,893 You didn't know the camera was on you? 1436 00:54:47,893 --> 00:54:49,895 Of course the camera's on you! It's always on you! 1437 00:54:49,895 --> 00:54:52,419 You're running for President!I told you right from the beginning. 1438 00:54:52,419 --> 00:54:56,684 I don't want to hear another word from you. This is all your fault. 1439 00:54:56,684 --> 00:54:59,905 Gilliam is now under investigation by the FBI 1440 00:54:59,905 --> 00:55:03,561 for his involvement with this man, friend and associate 1441 00:55:03,561 --> 00:55:05,563 and accused drug lord, Warren Pryor. 1442 00:55:05,563 --> 00:55:07,173 Oh, Lord, we're going to jail. 1443 00:55:07,173 --> 00:55:08,783 We're not going to jail. 1444 00:55:08,783 --> 00:55:11,525 Is it true? 1445 00:55:11,525 --> 00:55:12,570 Hey, what's up, Warren? 1446 00:55:12,570 --> 00:55:14,093 I know him, but I don't 1447 00:55:14,093 --> 00:55:15,921 "drug lord" know him. 1448 00:55:15,921 --> 00:55:18,793 It's just a guy I see around the way I say, "What's up?" to. 1449 00:55:18,793 --> 00:55:20,317 But I don't know him know him. 1450 00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:21,535 DEBRA: Do you have any drugs on you? 1451 00:55:21,535 --> 00:55:22,928 You better get them off right now 1452 00:55:22,928 --> 00:55:24,016 because I'm not going to jail for you. 1453 00:55:24,016 --> 00:55:25,583 Are you on the pipe? 1454 00:55:25,583 --> 00:55:27,846 [ booing] 1455 00:55:27,846 --> 00:55:30,370 ♪ Every time you're doing good trouble just pops up ♪ 1456 00:55:30,370 --> 00:55:32,764 ♪ He doesn't know what he's gonna do ♪ 1457 00:55:32,764 --> 00:55:34,418 ♪ He doesn't know what he's gonna do ♪ 1458 00:55:34,418 --> 00:55:36,681 ♪ This is messed up, this really sucks ♪ 1459 00:55:36,681 --> 00:55:39,379 ♪ Keep your head up, it's your best bet ♪ 1460 00:55:39,379 --> 00:55:41,642 ♪ Let's just hope the election's not through... ♪ 1461 00:55:41,642 --> 00:55:43,644 And I repeat, if you see Mays Gilliam, 1462 00:55:43,644 --> 00:55:46,517 please do not call the authorities. 1463 00:55:46,517 --> 00:55:50,042 Just do whatever you can to make his life a living hell. 1464 00:55:50,042 --> 00:55:51,783 WOMAN: Sir, could you...?No more questions! 1465 00:55:51,783 --> 00:55:55,264 If I say Mays Gilliam, I'’m gonna bust a cap in his ass. 1466 00:55:55,264 --> 00:55:57,484 BIG DAVE: Gilliam is done. 1467 00:55:57,484 --> 00:56:00,400 As Big Dave says, "Waah, waah." 1468 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:04,796 God... What am I going to do? 1469 00:56:04,796 --> 00:56:06,232 What are you worried about? 1470 00:56:06,232 --> 00:56:08,365 It's not like your face is on the side of a bus. 1471 00:56:08,365 --> 00:56:09,627 I mean, I'm the one 1472 00:56:09,627 --> 00:56:11,368 who's going to take a hit for this. 1473 00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:12,673 Why don't we just get me on the news 1474 00:56:12,673 --> 00:56:14,371 so I can make a statement, apologize? 1475 00:56:14,371 --> 00:56:16,155 I mean, that's what the people want to hear. 1476 00:56:16,155 --> 00:56:17,504 You're probably right. 1477 00:56:17,504 --> 00:56:19,419 Mmm, make a statement of some kind. 1478 00:56:19,419 --> 00:56:20,899 Try and sound sincere. 1479 00:56:20,899 --> 00:56:22,596 Just give me a break! 1480 00:56:22,596 --> 00:56:24,163 Do you think you can just say 1481 00:56:24,163 --> 00:56:27,166 you're sorry and all this is going to go away? 1482 00:56:27,166 --> 00:56:29,211 Mays, you're running for President 1483 00:56:29,211 --> 00:56:31,562 of the United States of America. 1484 00:56:33,172 --> 00:56:36,784 Do you have any idea why they chose you? 1485 00:56:36,784 --> 00:56:37,959 [ crowd cheering] 1486 00:56:37,959 --> 00:56:39,918 [ gunshot] 1487 00:56:39,918 --> 00:56:41,485 We picked you because you're the guy that had... 1488 00:56:41,485 --> 00:56:43,182 Shut up! 1489 00:56:47,752 --> 00:56:51,582 You're here to lose, Mays. 1490 00:56:51,582 --> 00:56:54,933 Arnot picked you so you could lose. 1491 00:56:54,933 --> 00:56:57,022 Come on, Mays, just think about it. 1492 00:56:57,022 --> 00:56:59,720 If they really had any idea that they could win this thing, 1493 00:56:59,720 --> 00:57:01,026 do you think they would've chosen 1494 00:57:01,026 --> 00:57:02,897 an ignorant-ass nigger like you? 1495 00:57:08,947 --> 00:57:10,339 Okay, wait up. 1496 00:57:10,339 --> 00:57:12,429 I know you're not calling me an ignorant nigger 1497 00:57:12,429 --> 00:57:15,910 and thinking that you're staying on my bus. 1498 00:57:17,695 --> 00:57:19,174 I am not getting off this bus. 1499 00:57:19,174 --> 00:57:21,176 I mean, we're in the middle of nowhere. 1500 00:57:21,176 --> 00:57:23,918 So now you need a ride from an ignorant nigger? 1501 00:57:23,918 --> 00:57:26,007 I am not getting off this bus. 1502 00:57:26,007 --> 00:57:27,052 Apologize. 1503 00:57:27,052 --> 00:57:28,096 No!Security! 1504 00:57:28,096 --> 00:57:30,229 [ screaming] 1505 00:57:30,229 --> 00:57:32,536 [ tires screeching] 1506 00:57:33,972 --> 00:57:36,453 So you knew about this all along, huh? 1507 00:57:48,508 --> 00:57:50,510 Mays... 1508 00:57:56,908 --> 00:57:59,127 [ coughs] 1509 00:57:59,127 --> 00:58:01,086 Is there trouble inside the Gilliam campaign? 1510 00:58:01,086 --> 00:58:02,957 That's what Washington insiders want to know 1511 00:58:02,957 --> 00:58:06,657 after Gilliam's chief advisor, Debra Lassiter, 1512 00:58:06,657 --> 00:58:08,572 left the campaign trail. 1513 00:58:08,572 --> 00:58:10,008 ANCHORMAN: Down in the polls, 1514 00:58:10,008 --> 00:58:12,140 Gilliam still has no running mate. 1515 00:58:12,140 --> 00:58:14,012 ANCHORMAN 2: Sources say the Teamsters may endorse Lewis. 1516 00:58:14,012 --> 00:58:15,796 ANCHORWOMAN 2: Did Gilliam kill JonBenet Ramsey? 1517 00:58:15,796 --> 00:58:17,319 Police want to know.ANCHORMAN 2: The big question: 1518 00:58:17,319 --> 00:58:19,147 Where is Mays Gilliam? 1519 00:58:19,147 --> 00:58:21,280 BIG DAVE: Where is Mays Gilliam? 1520 00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:23,543 I'll tell you where he's at. He's with his peeps! 1521 00:58:23,543 --> 00:58:28,330 [ phone ringing] 1522 00:58:28,330 --> 00:58:29,636 Hello? 1523 00:58:29,636 --> 00:58:31,246 Hey, you up? 1524 00:58:31,246 --> 00:58:33,597 I was hoping you would call. Where are you? You okay? 1525 00:58:33,597 --> 00:58:37,035 I don't know. I mean, I guess I'm all right. 1526 00:58:37,035 --> 00:58:39,341 Okay, come on, talk to Mama. 1527 00:58:39,341 --> 00:58:41,735 I don'’t know. It seems like they'’re trying to get me. 1528 00:58:41,735 --> 00:58:45,522 Everywhere I turn they'’re trying to put a foot in my ass. 1529 00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:46,827 Well, after what you said, 1530 00:58:46,827 --> 00:58:48,916 you need a foot put up in your ass. 1531 00:58:48,916 --> 00:58:50,657 I mean, what did you expect? 1532 00:58:50,657 --> 00:58:52,137 They were just going to make you president? 1533 00:58:52,137 --> 00:58:55,053 It's like they take a poll for everything I do. 1534 00:58:55,053 --> 00:58:56,794 You ever been to a horse race? 1535 00:58:56,794 --> 00:59:00,493 My dad, he used to take me all the time when I was little. 1536 00:59:00,493 --> 00:59:04,497 You know, the horses, they wear blinders. 1537 00:59:04,497 --> 00:59:06,064 They don't even see each other. 1538 00:59:06,064 --> 00:59:08,066 They just run their race. 1539 00:59:08,066 --> 00:59:10,068 So don't worry about Lewis. 1540 00:59:10,068 --> 00:59:12,026 Don't worry about the press. 1541 00:59:12,026 --> 00:59:14,202 Just... run your race. 1542 00:59:14,202 --> 00:59:16,814 Okay, let me ask you something.Okay. 1543 00:59:16,814 --> 00:59:19,033 What are you wearing? 1544 00:59:19,033 --> 00:59:21,340 Oh, now, you know you need to stop. 1545 00:59:23,081 --> 00:59:25,953 [ crickets chirping] 1546 00:59:28,390 --> 00:59:31,176 Man, news travels fast. 1547 00:59:31,176 --> 00:59:33,178 Not ten minutes after you fired me, 1548 00:59:33,178 --> 00:59:35,833 I had two offers for jobs. 1549 00:59:35,833 --> 00:59:38,183 Good offers.What are you doing here? 1550 00:59:38,183 --> 00:59:39,967 I know you got no reason to trust me, 1551 00:59:39,967 --> 00:59:42,274 but I'm asking you to. 1552 00:59:42,274 --> 00:59:44,798 You've got five weeks left. 1553 00:59:44,798 --> 00:59:47,279 I know Lassiter is out, but I think... 1554 00:59:47,279 --> 00:59:51,152 I think I can help you do this. 1555 00:59:51,152 --> 00:59:53,502 I want to help you. 1556 00:59:53,502 --> 00:59:56,984 And... I'm sorry, Mays. 1557 00:59:56,984 --> 00:59:58,856 I don't know what else to say. 1558 00:59:58,856 --> 01:00:04,296 But... as bad as things look, I don't think you should quit. 1559 01:00:04,296 --> 01:00:06,341 Who said I was quitting? 1560 01:00:06,341 --> 01:00:08,474 I wish I could quit. 1561 01:00:08,474 --> 01:00:11,042 I wish it was that easy. 1562 01:00:11,042 --> 01:00:12,347 You're lucky. 1563 01:00:12,347 --> 01:00:14,175 You are so lucky. 1564 01:00:14,175 --> 01:00:16,482 You don't know how good you got it. 1565 01:00:16,482 --> 01:00:18,658 You just represent yourself. 1566 01:00:18,658 --> 01:00:20,355 Me? 1567 01:00:20,355 --> 01:00:23,184 I represent my whole race. 1568 01:00:23,184 --> 01:00:24,925 If I quit, 1569 01:00:24,925 --> 01:00:30,191 there won't be another black candidate for 50 years. 1570 01:00:30,191 --> 01:00:32,585 All right. 1571 01:00:32,585 --> 01:00:34,848 We can get rid of the school thing 1572 01:00:34,848 --> 01:00:36,763 with a statement that'll blow things over 1573 01:00:36,763 --> 01:00:38,896 but we need to pick a running mate. 1574 01:00:38,896 --> 01:00:40,245 Well, who am I supposed to pick? 1575 01:00:40,245 --> 01:00:41,681 Nobody wants to run with me. 1576 01:00:41,681 --> 01:00:43,727 We need somebody we can trust. 1577 01:00:43,727 --> 01:00:45,729 What...? 1578 01:00:45,729 --> 01:00:47,600 Who do you trust? 1579 01:00:49,950 --> 01:00:51,822 ANCHORWOMAN: In the midst of his own Cinderella story, 1580 01:00:51,822 --> 01:00:54,999 presidential candidate Mays Gilliam is shaking it up. 1581 01:00:54,999 --> 01:00:57,436 He's chosen his brother, Mitch Gilliam, 1582 01:00:57,436 --> 01:01:00,091 a bail bondsman from Chicago, as his running mate. 1583 01:01:00,091 --> 01:01:04,138 ANCHORMAN: Political analysts say this may be too little, too late. 1584 01:01:04,138 --> 01:01:05,923 Hi, I'm with the Pork Commission... 1585 01:01:05,923 --> 01:01:07,185 ♪ Yeah, yeah... 1586 01:01:07,185 --> 01:01:08,621 I'm from the Athlete's Foot Foundat... 1587 01:01:08,621 --> 01:01:11,015 ♪ On the train, on the train... ♪ 1588 01:01:11,015 --> 01:01:12,364 What's up? 1589 01:01:12,364 --> 01:01:14,366 Hey, can you get my demo tape to somebody? 1590 01:01:17,891 --> 01:01:19,632 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ Yeah, yeah 1591 01:01:19,632 --> 01:01:22,374 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... 1592 01:01:22,374 --> 01:01:24,158 [ funky soul melody playing] 1593 01:01:24,158 --> 01:01:25,594 Are these your bags, sir? 1594 01:01:25,594 --> 01:01:26,944 Look at my shoes and look at the bags. 1595 01:01:26,944 --> 01:01:27,945 Shut up and follow me. 1596 01:01:27,945 --> 01:01:30,295 Mays.Mitch. 1597 01:01:30,295 --> 01:01:32,558 Back up, back up, back up, back up. 1598 01:01:32,558 --> 01:01:34,342 [ grunting] 1599 01:01:34,342 --> 01:01:35,953 [ laughing] 1600 01:01:35,953 --> 01:01:37,650 ♪ Yeah... 1601 01:01:37,650 --> 01:01:39,434 Mr. Gilliam, what do you have to say 1602 01:01:39,434 --> 01:01:41,349 about your brother's recent controversial comments? 1603 01:01:41,349 --> 01:01:42,786 My gosh, lady, 1604 01:01:42,786 --> 01:01:44,265 my brother said he was sorry. 1605 01:01:44,265 --> 01:01:45,658 I mean, let it go. 1606 01:01:45,658 --> 01:01:47,225 See, that's why nobody like your ass. 1607 01:01:47,225 --> 01:01:49,880 [ laughing] 1608 01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:51,185 MAYS: We got a lot of work to do, man. 1609 01:01:51,185 --> 01:01:52,491 We way behind in the polls. 1610 01:01:52,491 --> 01:01:53,927 Am I getting paid for this?Oh, yeah. 1611 01:01:53,927 --> 01:01:55,494 Come on, let's do this. 1612 01:01:55,494 --> 01:01:57,801 Mitch Gilliam, you're running for the vice presidency 1613 01:01:57,801 --> 01:01:59,019 of the United States of America. You're a bail bondsman. 1614 01:01:59,019 --> 01:02:00,325 You have no Washington experience, 1615 01:02:00,325 --> 01:02:01,587 you have no political experience, 1616 01:02:01,587 --> 01:02:02,806 you have no political connections. 1617 01:02:02,806 --> 01:02:03,981 How does being a bail bondsman 1618 01:02:03,981 --> 01:02:05,504 qualify you to be the Vice President 1619 01:02:05,504 --> 01:02:07,636 of the United States of America? 1620 01:02:07,636 --> 01:02:09,073 That's right, I am a bail bondsman. 1621 01:02:09,073 --> 01:02:10,814 People come to me when they in trouble, 1622 01:02:10,814 --> 01:02:12,467 like the United States. 1623 01:02:12,467 --> 01:02:14,774 We bail people out. We bail out Mexico, 1624 01:02:14,774 --> 01:02:16,123 we bail out the savings and loan, 1625 01:02:16,123 --> 01:02:17,516 we bail out the airline industry. 1626 01:02:17,516 --> 01:02:19,126 Now you ask me, sir, 1627 01:02:19,126 --> 01:02:20,911 what qualify me to run for Vice President. 1628 01:02:20,911 --> 01:02:22,477 When the country's in trouble, 1629 01:02:22,477 --> 01:02:23,957 I'll bail 'em out. 1630 01:02:23,957 --> 01:02:25,872 Hold that thought. We have a caller from Detroit. 1631 01:02:25,872 --> 01:02:27,961 Go ahead, caller.MAN: Hey, Mitch. 1632 01:02:27,961 --> 01:02:30,659 What you looking around for? It'’s Reggie, mother[ bleep ]. 1633 01:02:30,659 --> 01:02:32,661 Where my money at, man?Don'’t call with that bullshit. 1634 01:02:32,661 --> 01:02:34,185 You see I'’m on TV. 1635 01:02:34,185 --> 01:02:35,839 What about NATO? How do you feel about NATO? 1636 01:02:35,839 --> 01:02:37,014 Should it be...?I never met Nato. 1637 01:02:37,014 --> 01:02:38,667 I don't know nothing about it. 1638 01:02:38,667 --> 01:02:40,104 I don't talk about people behind they back. 1639 01:02:40,104 --> 01:02:41,409 NATO is the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. 1640 01:02:41,409 --> 01:02:42,715 Oh, but you, oh, you didn't say that. 1641 01:02:42,715 --> 01:02:44,456 I thought you were talking about... 1642 01:02:44,456 --> 01:02:46,066 I know this guy named Nato. N-Nato Jacobs, you know. 1643 01:02:46,066 --> 01:02:47,328 But you have to know these things. 1644 01:02:47,328 --> 01:02:48,590 If you're running for public office... 1645 01:02:48,590 --> 01:02:49,722 Do you know Nato Jacobs? 1646 01:02:49,722 --> 01:02:51,071 I know...Do you know Nato Jacobs? 1647 01:02:51,071 --> 01:02:52,812 I know what NATO is.Do you know Nato Jacobs? 1648 01:02:52,812 --> 01:02:54,901 Uh, I'm sorry, I haven't met the gentleman. 1649 01:02:54,901 --> 01:02:56,598 That's what I said. Didn't I say that? 1650 01:02:56,598 --> 01:02:58,252 You don't know nothing about Nato. 1651 01:02:58,252 --> 01:03:00,037 I don't know nothing about NATO. 1652 01:03:00,037 --> 01:03:01,342 So, why are you out here today 1653 01:03:01,342 --> 01:03:03,040 since inmates don't have the right to vote? 1654 01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:04,432 Babe, it's not about the vote. 1655 01:03:04,432 --> 01:03:05,782 We're looking out for the convicts. 1656 01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:07,348 See, we want to make sure, man, 1657 01:03:07,348 --> 01:03:09,176 when they get out, that they stay out. 1658 01:03:09,176 --> 01:03:11,788 The better the education, they become more productive citizens. 1659 01:03:11,788 --> 01:03:13,528 That's what my brother and I are about. 1660 01:03:13,528 --> 01:03:14,834 Mitch! What's up, man? 1661 01:03:14,834 --> 01:03:16,618 Hey, Shorty G.Good to see you, boy! 1662 01:03:16,618 --> 01:03:17,924 Come here. Hey, hey, hey. 1663 01:03:17,924 --> 01:03:19,926 This is Shorty G. I arrested his ass. 1664 01:03:19,926 --> 01:03:21,667 I thought you'd gotten the chair, boy. 1665 01:03:21,667 --> 01:03:23,147 ANCHORWOMAN: Mr. Gilliam, 1666 01:03:23,147 --> 01:03:24,844 how would you deal with white-collar crime? 1667 01:03:24,844 --> 01:03:26,324 MITCH: First of all, there's no such thing 1668 01:03:26,324 --> 01:03:28,195 as white-collar crime. 1669 01:03:28,195 --> 01:03:30,284 And there's definitely no such thing as black-on-black crime. 1670 01:03:30,284 --> 01:03:32,025 Crime is crime. 1671 01:03:32,025 --> 01:03:33,374 Let me explain something to you. 1672 01:03:33,374 --> 01:03:34,680 I don't care if you have 1673 01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:36,377 a white collar or a tank top. 1674 01:03:36,377 --> 01:03:38,466 If you rob me, I'm gonna whup you fast. 1675 01:03:38,466 --> 01:03:39,728 [ laughs] 1676 01:03:39,728 --> 01:03:41,600 TV REPORTER: I'm Janet Silvers, 1677 01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:43,689 reporting live in Washington, D.C., where transit operators... 1678 01:03:43,689 --> 01:03:45,212 I wish we'd get into the White House, little brother. 1679 01:03:45,212 --> 01:03:46,779 Why, so you could have a cookout? 1680 01:03:46,779 --> 01:03:48,868 NIKKI: Mays, they were just talking about your ward. 1681 01:03:48,868 --> 01:03:50,348 MARTIN: Yeah, what's going on down there? 1682 01:03:50,348 --> 01:03:51,915 Well, they want to cut bus service 1683 01:03:51,915 --> 01:03:53,655 until they finish this construction project. 1684 01:03:53,655 --> 01:03:55,092 I should go down there. 1685 01:03:55,092 --> 01:03:56,658 For what, so you can blow up the bus line? 1686 01:03:56,658 --> 01:03:57,964 Well, one thing at a time. 1687 01:03:57,964 --> 01:03:59,183 The Teamsters haven't endorsed Lewis yet. 1688 01:03:59,183 --> 01:04:00,619 Our numbers are creeping back up. 1689 01:04:00,619 --> 01:04:02,447 But if we want a real shot at this thing, 1690 01:04:02,447 --> 01:04:04,710 we've got to get Lewis to debate. 1691 01:04:04,710 --> 01:04:06,451 Well, he knows that, that's why he won't debate me. 1692 01:04:06,451 --> 01:04:08,627 The guy's avoiding me like he owes me child support. 1693 01:04:08,627 --> 01:04:10,455 The man is scared. Man, he's holding the ball 1694 01:04:10,455 --> 01:04:12,022 hoping the clock will run out. 1695 01:04:12,022 --> 01:04:13,414 That's a punk move. 1696 01:04:13,414 --> 01:04:15,199 Ducking and hiding like a little bitch. 1697 01:04:15,199 --> 01:04:17,114 Well, that may be, but he's not going to debate you 1698 01:04:17,114 --> 01:04:18,680 because you call him a little bitch. 1699 01:04:21,596 --> 01:04:23,424 And we feel that what this community needs... 1700 01:04:23,424 --> 01:04:24,556 What the community needs 1701 01:04:24,556 --> 01:04:26,471 is for you to debate me right now. 1702 01:04:26,471 --> 01:04:27,907 You want to tell the people something, tell them that. 1703 01:04:27,907 --> 01:04:29,604 ♪ I thought I told you that we won't stop ♪ 1704 01:04:29,604 --> 01:04:30,997 ♪ I thought I told you that we won't stop. ♪ 1705 01:04:30,997 --> 01:04:32,303 Well, now, my agenda... 1706 01:04:32,303 --> 01:04:33,739 I'll tell you about our agenda. 1707 01:04:33,739 --> 01:04:35,654 Our agenda is to have a debate right now. 1708 01:04:35,654 --> 01:04:37,221 You need to get rid of this zero 1709 01:04:37,221 --> 01:04:38,700 and talk to the hero. 1710 01:04:40,615 --> 01:04:41,878 What, you got time to jog, 1711 01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:43,096 but you don't got time to debate? 1712 01:04:43,096 --> 01:04:44,576 You can run, but you can't hide. 1713 01:04:44,576 --> 01:04:46,404 ♪ I thought I told you that we won't stop ♪ 1714 01:04:46,404 --> 01:04:48,580 What you looking for, the news? 1715 01:04:48,580 --> 01:04:50,843 The news is we want a debate.No! 1716 01:04:50,843 --> 01:04:52,671 What'd you change the channel for?He's scared! 1717 01:04:52,671 --> 01:04:54,455 He's scared, he's scared.Oh, God... 1718 01:04:54,455 --> 01:04:56,457 Here's a word from our sponsor.We want a debate. 1719 01:04:56,457 --> 01:04:58,285 ♪ I thought I told you that we won't stop ♪ 1720 01:04:58,285 --> 01:04:59,808 ♪ I thought I told you that we won't stop ♪ 1721 01:04:59,808 --> 01:05:00,984 ♪ I thought I told you that we won't stop... ♪ 1722 01:05:00,984 --> 01:05:02,681 [ screaming]: No! 1723 01:05:02,681 --> 01:05:05,118 Yo, Lewis. Your mother'’s ass is so big, 1724 01:05:05,118 --> 01:05:07,642 when she sits down she'’s three feet taller. 1725 01:05:07,642 --> 01:05:11,777 Yo, Lewis, your mother got a really big ass! 1726 01:05:11,777 --> 01:05:13,866 Sir, I think it'’s time we prepare for a debate. 1727 01:05:13,866 --> 01:05:16,782 Oh, give me one good reason I should debate that jerk. 1728 01:05:16,782 --> 01:05:18,610 He talked about your mother, sir. 1729 01:05:18,610 --> 01:05:20,133 So what? 1730 01:05:20,133 --> 01:05:22,396 Are you going to just let him 1731 01:05:22,396 --> 01:05:24,050 talk about me like that? 1732 01:05:29,186 --> 01:05:31,188 After some inventive chiding 1733 01:05:31,188 --> 01:05:33,494 on the part of Alderman Mays Gilliam, 1734 01:05:33,494 --> 01:05:37,063 Vice President Lewis has finally agreed to one debate 1735 01:05:37,063 --> 01:05:40,806 the night before the election. 1736 01:05:40,806 --> 01:05:42,590 So, baby brother, this is it, man. 1737 01:05:42,590 --> 01:05:43,852 You ready? 1738 01:05:43,852 --> 01:05:45,985 All right, I guess. 1739 01:05:45,985 --> 01:05:47,204 What do you mean, you guess? You don't know? 1740 01:05:47,204 --> 01:05:48,901 You either ready or you ain't. 1741 01:05:48,901 --> 01:05:50,816 Hey, man, what's the problem, man? 1742 01:05:50,816 --> 01:05:52,252 I-I'm ready, okay. I'm ready. 1743 01:05:52,252 --> 01:05:53,471 No, you ain't. 1744 01:05:53,471 --> 01:05:54,951 Look at you. 1745 01:05:54,951 --> 01:05:56,822 If you call this ready, this ain't gonna get it. 1746 01:05:56,822 --> 01:05:57,866 You got to dress for the job you want 1747 01:05:57,866 --> 01:05:59,651 not for the job you got. 1748 01:05:59,651 --> 01:06:01,958 Wait, man, I know you ain't talking about my clothes. 1749 01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:03,785 Come on, now, come on. This ain't about me. 1750 01:06:03,785 --> 01:06:05,787 If I got a good idea, 1751 01:06:05,787 --> 01:06:07,354 it shouldn't matter what I'm wearing.[ grunts] 1752 01:06:07,354 --> 01:06:08,660 Uh-oh. 1753 01:06:08,660 --> 01:06:11,228 You know you messed up, man. 1754 01:06:11,228 --> 01:06:13,143 Boy, I'm telling you right now. 1755 01:06:13,143 --> 01:06:14,971 You know, this ain't about me. 1756 01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:16,494 [ grunts] 1757 01:06:16,494 --> 01:06:18,148 Okay? 1758 01:06:18,148 --> 01:06:20,106 Lewis ain't no punk. He ain't no joke. 1759 01:06:20,106 --> 01:06:21,803 That man been Vice President 1760 01:06:21,803 --> 01:06:23,066 for eight years, okay? 1761 01:06:23,066 --> 01:06:24,241 He's a war hero. 1762 01:06:24,241 --> 01:06:25,894 He's Sharon Stone cousin. 1763 01:06:25,894 --> 01:06:27,287 You better come correct. 1764 01:06:27,287 --> 01:06:29,594 Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?Yeah, that's right. 1765 01:06:29,594 --> 01:06:31,117 Well, I got us this far! 1766 01:06:31,117 --> 01:06:32,423 [ groaning] 1767 01:06:32,423 --> 01:06:34,773 See, this as far as you gonna get. 1768 01:06:34,773 --> 01:06:36,079 Oh, oh, it's like that? 1769 01:06:36,079 --> 01:06:37,776 That's the way it is. 1770 01:06:37,776 --> 01:06:40,474 See, Geller and them up there pumping your head up, 1771 01:06:40,474 --> 01:06:42,476 but Lewis gonna slap it back down. 1772 01:06:42,476 --> 01:06:43,695 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 1773 01:06:43,695 --> 01:06:45,001 Oh, yeah? 1774 01:06:45,001 --> 01:06:48,134 [ laughs] 1775 01:06:52,660 --> 01:06:53,922 Go ahead. 1776 01:06:53,922 --> 01:06:55,141 Come on! 1777 01:07:02,018 --> 01:07:03,889 Oh, my God. 1778 01:07:03,889 --> 01:07:07,414 Little brother, you all right? 1779 01:07:07,414 --> 01:07:09,286 [ grunts] 1780 01:07:09,286 --> 01:07:11,679 That's what you get. 1781 01:07:11,679 --> 01:07:13,072 You need anything, 1782 01:07:13,072 --> 01:07:14,552 'cause it look like you need some help. 1783 01:07:14,552 --> 01:07:15,727 You gonna get yours! 1784 01:07:15,727 --> 01:07:16,945 I'm gonna tell Ma! 1785 01:07:16,945 --> 01:07:18,338 You better not tell. 1786 01:07:19,948 --> 01:07:23,822 [ phone ringing] 1787 01:07:23,822 --> 01:07:25,258 Hello? 1788 01:07:25,258 --> 01:07:26,651 Debra? 1789 01:07:26,651 --> 01:07:28,087 Mays.No, Mays, I don't... 1790 01:07:28,087 --> 01:07:30,481 Look, don't intrude in my life anymore. 1791 01:07:30,481 --> 01:07:32,091 I don't want to have anything to do with you, 1792 01:07:32,091 --> 01:07:33,136 not after the way you treated me. 1793 01:07:33,136 --> 01:07:34,572 I'm sorry. I am sorry. 1794 01:07:34,572 --> 01:07:36,443 I'm sorry I threw you off the bus. 1795 01:07:36,443 --> 01:07:37,923 It was wrong. I just couldn't take 1796 01:07:37,923 --> 01:07:39,142 what you were saying at the time. 1797 01:07:39,142 --> 01:07:41,057 Mays, what do you want? 1798 01:07:41,057 --> 01:07:43,581 I want to win. 1799 01:07:50,805 --> 01:07:52,329 WOMAN: Welcome to New York City[ crowd cheering] 1800 01:07:52,329 --> 01:07:55,723 for the 2004 Presidential Debates. 1801 01:07:55,723 --> 01:07:56,985 Where is he?I don't know. 1802 01:07:56,985 --> 01:07:58,683 He said he was right behind me. 1803 01:07:58,683 --> 01:08:00,293 Think I should go look for him?People are getting nervous. 1804 01:08:00,293 --> 01:08:02,078 We've got to do something.I can do something. 1805 01:08:02,078 --> 01:08:04,036 No.No. 1806 01:08:04,036 --> 01:08:05,951 MODERATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, 1807 01:08:05,951 --> 01:08:09,824 Vice President Brian Lewis. 1808 01:08:09,824 --> 01:08:12,218 [ applause] 1809 01:08:14,046 --> 01:08:17,223 MAN: Hello, Mr. Vice President! 1810 01:08:19,269 --> 01:08:21,445 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Here they come, here they come. 1811 01:08:23,577 --> 01:08:25,884 Sweet. 1812 01:08:25,884 --> 01:08:27,712 Hello, Martin. 1813 01:08:27,712 --> 01:08:29,583 I'm sorry I'm late. 1814 01:08:29,583 --> 01:08:30,845 I had to change. 1815 01:08:30,845 --> 01:08:32,325 Mr. Earl, nice to see you. 1816 01:08:32,325 --> 01:08:33,805 Nice to see you, too, sir. 1817 01:08:33,805 --> 01:08:35,067 Let's move. 1818 01:08:37,243 --> 01:08:39,593 Mays, there are 250 million people out there 1819 01:08:39,593 --> 01:08:41,247 deciding who to vote for. 1820 01:08:41,247 --> 01:08:42,857 They all know Lewis didn'’t want to debate. 1821 01:08:42,857 --> 01:08:45,121 Just show them why.Stay focussed. 1822 01:08:45,121 --> 01:08:47,123 Take your time. 1823 01:08:47,123 --> 01:08:49,951 If you get out of pocket, you put your foot in his ass. 1824 01:08:49,951 --> 01:08:51,779 By the way, my suit. 1825 01:08:53,520 --> 01:08:54,782 Faba? 1826 01:08:54,782 --> 01:08:56,871 FUBU.Even I knew that. 1827 01:08:58,090 --> 01:08:59,396 Mays. 1828 01:08:59,396 --> 01:09:01,180 MODERATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, 1829 01:09:01,180 --> 01:09:03,269 Alderman Mays Gilliam. 1830 01:09:03,269 --> 01:09:06,446 [ cheering] 1831 01:09:06,446 --> 01:09:09,014 [ scattered chuckling] 1832 01:09:09,014 --> 01:09:10,929 [ applause continues] 1833 01:09:10,929 --> 01:09:13,105 [ deep bass line plays] 1834 01:09:13,105 --> 01:09:15,194 [ women cooing] 1835 01:09:15,194 --> 01:09:18,502 Yo, when Martin comin' on, man? 1836 01:09:19,894 --> 01:09:22,723 My mama told me to whup your butt. 1837 01:09:25,161 --> 01:09:26,901 [ applause continues] 1838 01:09:26,901 --> 01:09:29,252 ...the first question is directed 1839 01:09:29,252 --> 01:09:32,559 by coin flip to the Vice President. 1840 01:09:32,559 --> 01:09:34,431 Vice President Lewis, 1841 01:09:34,431 --> 01:09:36,084 what steps should be taken 1842 01:09:36,084 --> 01:09:38,609 to limit our youth's access to violent materials? 1843 01:09:38,609 --> 01:09:41,916 Our American children's futures are at stake here. 1844 01:09:41,916 --> 01:09:44,963 Now I say we need to study this issue 1845 01:09:44,963 --> 01:09:47,574 and appropriate legislation that will return us 1846 01:09:47,574 --> 01:09:51,622 to an America that we can be proud of. 1847 01:09:51,622 --> 01:09:54,451 God bless America and no place else. 1848 01:09:54,451 --> 01:09:57,410 [ applause] 1849 01:09:59,020 --> 01:10:02,241 Alderman Gilliam... same question, please. 1850 01:10:02,241 --> 01:10:04,200 How do we limit violent material? 1851 01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:05,723 Turn it off. 1852 01:10:05,723 --> 01:10:08,465 And if the kids cut it back on, knock 'em out. 1853 01:10:08,465 --> 01:10:09,988 That's why I don't smoke. 1854 01:10:09,988 --> 01:10:11,903 When I was a kid, my daddy caught me smoking 1855 01:10:11,903 --> 01:10:13,557 and he knocked me out. 1856 01:10:13,557 --> 01:10:15,559 And to this day, I don't smoke. 1857 01:10:15,559 --> 01:10:17,735 Not because I'm scared of cancer. 1858 01:10:17,735 --> 01:10:19,954 I don't smoke 'cause I think my dad's 1859 01:10:19,954 --> 01:10:23,567 gonna walk through that door and knock me the hell out. 1860 01:10:23,567 --> 01:10:25,873 Knock out your kids. It helps. 1861 01:10:25,873 --> 01:10:28,093 [ applause] 1862 01:10:28,093 --> 01:10:29,921 [ murmurs of approval] 1863 01:10:29,921 --> 01:10:31,705 [ scattered chuckles] 1864 01:10:31,705 --> 01:10:33,490 [ cheering loudly] 1865 01:10:33,490 --> 01:10:34,839 Yes! 1866 01:10:34,839 --> 01:10:36,754 MODERATOR: Vice President Lewis, 1867 01:10:36,754 --> 01:10:40,540 with over 10,000 gun deaths per year in the United States, 1868 01:10:40,540 --> 01:10:43,717 do you believe we need stricter gun control laws? 1869 01:10:43,717 --> 01:10:45,676 I don't think we need more gun control. 1870 01:10:45,676 --> 01:10:49,201 I say we enforce the laws that are already on the books. 1871 01:10:49,201 --> 01:10:52,030 See, the problem is, nobody reads the books. 1872 01:10:52,030 --> 01:10:55,163 What we need to do is start putting laws on videos. 1873 01:10:55,163 --> 01:10:58,428 'Cause everybody watches videos. MTV, BET. 1874 01:10:58,428 --> 01:11:00,647 We need to put some laws on the Nelly video. 1875 01:11:00,647 --> 01:11:02,736 [ murmuring]If you had some laws 1876 01:11:02,736 --> 01:11:06,174 on a Destiny's Child video right now, you could stop crime. 1877 01:11:06,174 --> 01:11:07,959 We already have gun licensing. 1878 01:11:07,959 --> 01:11:09,961 But that's only to carry the gun. 1879 01:11:09,961 --> 01:11:11,571 I say we let the people decide. 1880 01:11:11,571 --> 01:11:13,094 The people can't decide. 1881 01:11:13,094 --> 01:11:15,183 The people are too busy getting shot in the ass. 1882 01:11:15,183 --> 01:11:19,100 [ cheering and applause] 1883 01:11:26,978 --> 01:11:29,328 [ applause continues] 1884 01:11:33,724 --> 01:11:35,552 That's my brother. 1885 01:11:35,552 --> 01:11:38,206 Well, that's another reason that I say he's not qualified. 1886 01:11:38,206 --> 01:11:39,730 Why, 'cause I had the good sense 1887 01:11:39,730 --> 01:11:41,993 to pick my big brother to be my running mate? 1888 01:11:41,993 --> 01:11:44,952 All right, Alderman, I didn't come here to argue with you. 1889 01:11:44,952 --> 01:11:46,389 Oh, yes, you did. We're having a debate. 1890 01:11:46,389 --> 01:11:48,391 A debate ain't nothing but an argument. 1891 01:11:48,391 --> 01:11:50,175 A debate isn't the same thing as an argument. 1892 01:11:50,175 --> 01:11:51,394 Oh, yes, it is.No, it isn't. 1893 01:11:51,394 --> 01:11:53,265 Oh, yes, it is!No, it isn't! 1894 01:11:53,265 --> 01:11:56,050 Oh, yes, it is!No, it isn't! 1895 01:11:56,050 --> 01:11:58,183 I know you are, but what am I?I know you are, but what am I? 1896 01:11:58,183 --> 01:11:59,315 I know you are, but what am I? 1897 01:11:59,315 --> 01:12:01,708 I know you are, but what am I? 1898 01:12:01,708 --> 01:12:03,623 BOTH: I know you are, but what am I? 1899 01:12:03,623 --> 01:12:05,451 I know you are, but what am I? 1900 01:12:05,451 --> 01:12:07,105 Can we just move on? This is ridiculous. 1901 01:12:07,105 --> 01:12:08,324 MODERATOR: Gentlemen, 1902 01:12:08,324 --> 01:12:09,977 our next question comes from... 1903 01:12:09,977 --> 01:12:11,239 I have a question. 1904 01:12:11,239 --> 01:12:12,632 Would you like our reception 1905 01:12:12,632 --> 01:12:14,721 to be buffet style or formal seating? 1906 01:12:14,721 --> 01:12:16,680 Now, keep in mind, if you put Robert next to Nelson, 1907 01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:18,986 he's going to be very angry because he wanted 1908 01:12:18,986 --> 01:12:20,771 to be your best man, darling.Security. 1909 01:12:20,771 --> 01:12:22,294 Security.Security! 1910 01:12:22,294 --> 01:12:23,556 I love you so much... [ screaming] 1911 01:12:23,556 --> 01:12:25,297 [ tires screeching] 1912 01:12:25,297 --> 01:12:28,344 The candidates have agreed upon a short closing speech. 1913 01:12:28,344 --> 01:12:30,215 Vice President Lewis 1914 01:12:30,215 --> 01:12:31,477 won the coin toss. 1915 01:12:31,477 --> 01:12:33,218 He has elected to go first. 1916 01:12:33,218 --> 01:12:34,480 Thank you. 1917 01:12:34,480 --> 01:12:36,177 No, it isn't. 1918 01:12:36,177 --> 01:12:37,614 Yes, it is. 1919 01:12:37,614 --> 01:12:41,444 Tonight, you have seen two different men 1920 01:12:41,444 --> 01:12:45,186 with two very different points of view battle to win your vote. 1921 01:12:45,186 --> 01:12:49,147 And this is what America is all about. 1922 01:12:49,147 --> 01:12:52,803 Now, as we've seen tonight, Alderman Gilliam 1923 01:12:52,803 --> 01:12:57,024 can be captivating and... and entertaining. 1924 01:12:57,024 --> 01:12:59,331 But America needs more than that 1925 01:12:59,331 --> 01:13:01,159 from its commander in chief. 1926 01:13:01,159 --> 01:13:04,075 To lead America, it takes experience. 1927 01:13:04,075 --> 01:13:07,687 Now, I've been Vice President for the last eight years. 1928 01:13:07,687 --> 01:13:12,344 I'm a war hero... and I'm Sharon Stone's cousin. 1929 01:13:12,344 --> 01:13:13,650 And to me, 1930 01:13:13,650 --> 01:13:16,435 America is like a fine performance car. 1931 01:13:16,435 --> 01:13:18,742 And now is not the time... 1932 01:13:18,742 --> 01:13:22,528 to turn this fine vehicle we call America 1933 01:13:22,528 --> 01:13:25,836 over to the hands of an amateur. 1934 01:13:28,752 --> 01:13:33,191 I'm Brian Lewis... and I am your last chance. 1935 01:13:33,191 --> 01:13:37,456 God bless America, and no place else. 1936 01:13:37,456 --> 01:13:39,763 [ approving murmurs] 1937 01:13:39,763 --> 01:13:41,939 [ chuckling] 1938 01:13:41,939 --> 01:13:45,246 Ah, yeah, it's over now. 1939 01:13:45,246 --> 01:13:48,032 Why do you have to be so negative? 1940 01:13:48,032 --> 01:13:49,120 [ applause] 1941 01:13:49,120 --> 01:13:50,861 Give me five. Thank you. 1942 01:13:50,861 --> 01:13:52,166 Thank you. Thank you. 1943 01:13:52,166 --> 01:13:53,472 [ applause] 1944 01:13:53,472 --> 01:13:55,213 Hello. 1945 01:13:55,213 --> 01:13:56,736 [ applause continues] 1946 01:13:56,736 --> 01:13:57,955 [ sighs] 1947 01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:02,829 [ applause] 1948 01:14:04,483 --> 01:14:06,354 MODERATOR: Alderman Gilliam? 1949 01:14:06,354 --> 01:14:08,182 Well, you're right, Vice President Lewis. 1950 01:14:08,182 --> 01:14:10,010 I am an amateur. 1951 01:14:10,010 --> 01:14:12,665 When it comes to creating so many enemies that we need 1952 01:14:12,665 --> 01:14:16,408 billions of dollars to protect ourselves, yes, I'm an amateur. 1953 01:14:16,408 --> 01:14:19,672 When it comes to paying farmers not to grow food 1954 01:14:19,672 --> 01:14:21,457 while people in this country starve every day, 1955 01:14:21,457 --> 01:14:23,110 yes, I'm an amateur. 1956 01:14:23,110 --> 01:14:25,852 When it comes to creating a drug policy that makes 1957 01:14:25,852 --> 01:14:29,552 crack and heroin cheaper than asthma and AIDS medicine, 1958 01:14:29,552 --> 01:14:31,554 yes, I'm an amateur. 1959 01:14:31,554 --> 01:14:33,599 But there's nothing wrong with being an amateur. 1960 01:14:33,599 --> 01:14:35,819 The people that started the Underground Railroad 1961 01:14:35,819 --> 01:14:37,168 were amateurs. 1962 01:14:37,168 --> 01:14:39,475 Martin Luther King was an amateur. 1963 01:14:39,475 --> 01:14:42,652 Have you ever been to Amateur Night at the Apollo? 1964 01:14:42,652 --> 01:14:44,741 Some of the best talent in the world was there. 1965 01:14:44,741 --> 01:14:46,830 James Brown, Luther Vandross, 1966 01:14:46,830 --> 01:14:49,136 Rockwell, the Crown Heights Affair... 1967 01:14:49,136 --> 01:14:50,398 Hall and Oates! 1968 01:14:50,398 --> 01:14:52,270 ...the Fat Boys, Rob Base. 1969 01:14:52,270 --> 01:14:54,707 But you wouldn't know nothing about that. Why? 1970 01:14:54,707 --> 01:14:57,449 'Cause when it comes to judging talent and potential, 1971 01:14:57,449 --> 01:14:59,973 you, my friend, are an amateur. 1972 01:14:59,973 --> 01:15:02,367 [ applause] 1973 01:15:05,152 --> 01:15:07,415 I believe the Alderman is over his time. 1974 01:15:07,415 --> 01:15:09,330 No, you don't. You had eight years to talk. 1975 01:15:09,330 --> 01:15:11,507 Now is my turn. 1976 01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:13,509 I'm gonna get mine. I'm getting mine! 1977 01:15:13,509 --> 01:15:15,336 [ applause] 1978 01:15:15,336 --> 01:15:16,599 MODERATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, 1979 01:15:16,599 --> 01:15:18,644 hold your applause, please. 1980 01:15:18,644 --> 01:15:21,517 How can you help the poor if you never been poor? 1981 01:15:21,517 --> 01:15:24,520 How can you stop crime if you don't know no criminals? 1982 01:15:24,520 --> 01:15:26,391 How can you make drug policy 1983 01:15:26,391 --> 01:15:29,394 if you never smoked a chronic? 1984 01:15:29,394 --> 01:15:31,614 How can you do that? 1985 01:15:31,614 --> 01:15:33,137 Just a nickel bag. 1986 01:15:33,137 --> 01:15:35,487 I'’m a real American. 1987 01:15:35,487 --> 01:15:39,317 I've been high, I'’ve been robbed, I've been broke. 1988 01:15:39,317 --> 01:15:41,754 My credit is horrible. 1989 01:15:41,754 --> 01:15:44,931 They won't even take my cash! 1990 01:15:44,931 --> 01:15:46,454 Now, you're always talking about 1991 01:15:46,454 --> 01:15:48,892 "God bless America, and no place else," 1992 01:15:48,892 --> 01:15:51,721 but isn't it obvious that God has blessed America? 1993 01:15:51,721 --> 01:15:55,420 America is the richest, most powerful nation on Earth. 1994 01:15:55,420 --> 01:15:57,335 If America was a woman, 1995 01:15:57,335 --> 01:15:59,946 America would be a big-titted woman. 1996 01:15:59,946 --> 01:16:02,732 And everybody loves a big-titted woman. 1997 01:16:02,732 --> 01:16:05,648 So in closing, I'’d like to say 1998 01:16:05,648 --> 01:16:07,301 you are full of shit. 1999 01:16:08,912 --> 01:16:11,784 "God bless America and no place else." 2000 01:16:11,784 --> 01:16:13,656 How about "God bless Haiti"? 2001 01:16:13,656 --> 01:16:15,483 How about "God bless Africa"? 2002 01:16:15,483 --> 01:16:16,920 How about "God bless Jamaica"? 2003 01:16:16,920 --> 01:16:18,965 I'm not talking about Jamaica, 2004 01:16:18,965 --> 01:16:20,706 the beach tribes y'all love, 2005 01:16:20,706 --> 01:16:22,795 I'm talking about stabbing in Jamaica. 2006 01:16:22,795 --> 01:16:25,406 That's what I'm talking about. 2007 01:16:25,406 --> 01:16:27,321 So tonight, I want to say 2008 01:16:27,321 --> 01:16:28,758 God bless America, 2009 01:16:28,758 --> 01:16:30,020 and everybody else! 2010 01:16:30,020 --> 01:16:31,412 The whole world! 2011 01:16:31,412 --> 01:16:32,936 God bless you! 2012 01:16:32,936 --> 01:16:34,590 I'm Mays Gilliam, and I'm running 2013 01:16:34,590 --> 01:16:37,157 for President of the United States of America. 2014 01:16:37,157 --> 01:16:38,463 Ya heard? 2015 01:16:38,463 --> 01:16:42,989 [ cheering and whistling] 2016 01:16:42,989 --> 01:16:44,774 [ cheering] 2017 01:16:44,774 --> 01:16:46,776 Oh, yes! I told you! I told you! 2018 01:16:48,908 --> 01:16:52,129 [ cheering and applause continue] 2019 01:16:59,527 --> 01:17:01,442 Yes! Oh, my God! 2020 01:17:01,442 --> 01:17:03,053 Now we can watch Martin! 2021 01:17:13,324 --> 01:17:15,848 [ phone rings] 2022 01:17:15,848 --> 01:17:17,328 Hello? 2023 01:17:17,328 --> 01:17:19,417 Well, good morning, Mr. President. 2024 01:17:19,417 --> 01:17:22,202 Hey! Wh-What time is it? 2025 01:17:22,202 --> 01:17:24,204 I think it's a little after 7:00. 2026 01:17:24,204 --> 01:17:26,467 WOMAN: Lisa, I need some help in here. 2027 01:17:26,467 --> 01:17:28,078 Will you wait a damn minute? 2028 01:17:28,078 --> 01:17:29,862 Mays, I was so proud of you. 2029 01:17:29,862 --> 01:17:31,516 You were so good last night. 2030 01:17:31,516 --> 01:17:35,694 Okay, L-Lisa, tonight I want to see you, okay? 2031 01:17:35,694 --> 01:17:38,262 No-No matter what, win or lose, I want to see you. 2032 01:17:38,262 --> 01:17:40,699 I don't know. I might have to work. 2033 01:17:40,699 --> 01:17:43,354 But, look, if I don't see you tonight, I will see you soon. 2034 01:17:43,354 --> 01:17:45,530 Just... run your race, get out there, 2035 01:17:45,530 --> 01:17:47,750 and do what you got to do, okay? 2036 01:17:47,750 --> 01:17:49,012 And I'll talk to you later. 2037 01:17:49,012 --> 01:17:50,448 Bye-bye.All right. 2038 01:17:50,448 --> 01:17:52,624 ANCHORMAN: It's Election Day, Tuesday... 2039 01:17:52,624 --> 01:17:54,495 ANCHORMAN 2: It is Election Day, and this is set to be... 2040 01:17:54,495 --> 01:17:56,410 ANCHORWOMAN: The stage is set for what is sure to be 2041 01:17:56,410 --> 01:17:58,848 one of the most dramatic campaign finales of all time... 2042 01:17:58,848 --> 01:18:02,286 ANCHORMAN 3: The question everyone's asking is "Who will America vote for?" 2043 01:18:02,286 --> 01:18:03,591 Lewis! 2044 01:18:03,591 --> 01:18:05,202 I voted for Mays Gilliam. 2045 01:18:05,202 --> 01:18:07,857 I voted for big business.I voted for Lewis. 2046 01:18:07,857 --> 01:18:10,773 Who the fuck you think I'’m voting for? 2047 01:18:10,773 --> 01:18:12,600 ANCHORWOMAN: There appears to be an agreement 2048 01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:13,819 between Washington, D.C., officials 2049 01:18:13,819 --> 01:18:15,516 and transit authority operators 2050 01:18:15,516 --> 01:18:18,824 regarding the shutdown of the Ninth Ward bus line. 2051 01:18:18,824 --> 01:18:21,609 I don't see how they could do this to us. 2052 01:18:21,609 --> 01:18:23,350 People got to make money. 2053 01:18:23,350 --> 01:18:25,352 People got to get to work. 2054 01:18:25,352 --> 01:18:26,702 Come on, show 'em how you do it. 2055 01:18:26,702 --> 01:18:28,486 Show 'em how you do it. 2056 01:18:28,486 --> 01:18:30,967 ♪ Hey, the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. ♪ 2057 01:18:30,967 --> 01:18:32,272 DEBRA: You're not going to believe this. 2058 01:18:32,272 --> 01:18:34,405 We got the Teamsters! 2059 01:18:34,405 --> 01:18:35,798 That's great, little brother. 2060 01:18:35,798 --> 01:18:37,103 They're going to announce 2061 01:18:37,103 --> 01:18:38,191 at a press conference later today. 2062 01:18:38,191 --> 01:18:40,019 All you have to do is show up, 2063 01:18:40,019 --> 01:18:43,240 shake some hands, take some photographs, but it is yours. 2064 01:18:43,240 --> 01:18:45,938 Mays, what's the matter? 2065 01:18:45,938 --> 01:18:47,897 If they shut down this bus service, 2066 01:18:47,897 --> 01:18:49,986 I will drive you to work myself. 2067 01:18:49,986 --> 01:18:52,118 [ sighs]Can't do it. 2068 01:18:52,118 --> 01:18:53,816 MARTIN: But it's Election Day! 2069 01:18:53,816 --> 01:18:55,382 You have to pick up this endorsement. 2070 01:18:55,382 --> 01:18:56,644 You said you want to win. 2071 01:18:56,644 --> 01:18:58,037 You can't snub the Teamsters. 2072 01:18:58,037 --> 01:18:59,647 Do you want 'em to endorse Lewis? 2073 01:18:59,647 --> 01:19:02,128 I'm not worried about Lewis. I'm running my race. 2074 01:19:02,128 --> 01:19:03,651 Go ahead, baby brother. I got this. 2075 01:19:03,651 --> 01:19:06,219 Now, Mays... Now-- Debra! 2076 01:19:06,219 --> 01:19:08,482 What? Y-Y-You-You just gonna let him go? 2077 01:19:08,482 --> 01:19:09,875 He's a grown man. 2078 01:19:09,875 --> 01:19:12,182 They shut down the whole bus line. 2079 01:19:12,182 --> 01:19:13,749 What can he do about that? 2080 01:19:13,749 --> 01:19:15,489 ♪ Oh, it's gettin' hot in here 2081 01:19:15,489 --> 01:19:16,752 ♪ So hot 2082 01:19:16,752 --> 01:19:18,449 ♪ So take off all your clothes 2083 01:19:18,449 --> 01:19:19,885 ♪ I am gettin' so hot ♪ Oh 2084 01:19:19,885 --> 01:19:22,148 ♪ I want to take my clothes off... ♪ 2085 01:19:22,148 --> 01:19:23,802 ANCHORWOMAN: In the latest exit poll, 2086 01:19:23,802 --> 01:19:26,587 Vice President Lewis has 51% of the vote. 2087 01:19:26,587 --> 01:19:28,938 I'll bring him right back. He gotta vote. 2088 01:19:28,938 --> 01:19:32,376 ANCHORMAN: ...while Mays Gilliam is posting an impressive 47%. 2089 01:19:32,376 --> 01:19:33,681 Hey, hey, hey. 2090 01:19:33,681 --> 01:19:34,900 You gotta get to the back of the bus. 2091 01:19:34,900 --> 01:19:36,032 [ gasps] 2092 01:19:36,032 --> 01:19:37,555 I'm just playing. Come on! 2093 01:19:37,555 --> 01:19:39,296 ANCHORWOMAN: He and Vice President Lewis 2094 01:19:39,296 --> 01:19:41,515 are in a statistical dead heat. 2095 01:19:41,515 --> 01:19:43,822 MITCH: Come on! Vote, hoes! 2096 01:19:43,822 --> 01:19:46,477 ANCHORMAN: While Vice President Lewis and Mitch Gilliam have been working 2097 01:19:46,477 --> 01:19:48,566 the campaign trail, Mays Gilliam 2098 01:19:48,566 --> 01:19:50,786 has been out driving people to work. 2099 01:19:50,786 --> 01:19:53,440 ♪ The roof, the roof is on fire! ♪ 2100 01:19:53,440 --> 01:19:55,878 Why didn't somebody around here think of this? 2101 01:19:55,878 --> 01:19:58,489 Why am I not out there driving a damn bus or something? 2102 01:19:58,489 --> 01:20:02,145 Get me an SUV, or a minivan, or a bus, or a scooter, 2103 01:20:02,145 --> 01:20:03,624 or a motorcycle, or a rickshaw. 2104 01:20:03,624 --> 01:20:05,801 Get me some wheels, bitch! 2105 01:20:07,150 --> 01:20:10,240 Are you going uptown? 2106 01:20:10,240 --> 01:20:12,198 Come on, Mays! Wait a minute, Mays! 2107 01:20:12,198 --> 01:20:13,373 Mays, I was thinking, 2108 01:20:13,373 --> 01:20:15,114 we could write our own vows! 2109 01:20:15,114 --> 01:20:17,813 Mays! I love you! 2110 01:20:17,813 --> 01:20:19,118 I love you, Mays! 2111 01:20:19,118 --> 01:20:20,859 [ clattering] 2112 01:20:20,859 --> 01:20:22,818 ANCHORWOMAN: With the polls 2113 01:20:22,818 --> 01:20:25,646 just about 30 minutes from closing here on the East Coast, 2114 01:20:25,646 --> 01:20:29,781 Mays Gilliam is actually ahead by several points. 2115 01:20:29,781 --> 01:20:31,696 [ cheering] 2116 01:20:31,696 --> 01:20:35,395 There is no question that Lewis has Texas. 2117 01:20:35,395 --> 01:20:39,138 It seems clear Gilliam is going to take New York. 2118 01:20:41,575 --> 01:20:44,230 Yeah! Yeah! New York! 2119 01:20:44,230 --> 01:20:46,580 It's likely Lewis is going to take Michigan. 2120 01:20:48,495 --> 01:20:52,412 It looks like Gilliam might just pull an upset in Illinois. 2121 01:20:54,066 --> 01:20:57,374 Illinois! Illinois! Yeah! Go, Mays! 2122 01:20:57,374 --> 01:21:00,246 This looks like it may come down to California. 2123 01:21:00,246 --> 01:21:02,683 This looks like it may come down to California. 2124 01:21:02,683 --> 01:21:05,512 This looks like it may come down to California. 2125 01:21:07,253 --> 01:21:09,342 All right, I need to know. How real is this? 2126 01:21:09,342 --> 01:21:10,735 Can we win without California? 2127 01:21:10,735 --> 01:21:12,476 Well, sir, I still think we stand a good chance 2128 01:21:12,476 --> 01:21:14,521 if you call in your connections to the energy companies. 2129 01:21:14,521 --> 01:21:17,046 No, you can't win without California. 2130 01:21:17,046 --> 01:21:18,482 What the hell are you doing here? 2131 01:21:18,482 --> 01:21:20,049 Oh, shut up. 2132 01:21:20,049 --> 01:21:21,702 You want to win, you'll do what I tell you. 2133 01:21:21,702 --> 01:21:25,445 Gilliam has over 90 percent minority turnout. 2134 01:21:25,445 --> 01:21:27,230 The whites are still the majority, 2135 01:21:27,230 --> 01:21:28,492 but they're not voting. 2136 01:21:28,492 --> 01:21:29,580 They don't like you. 2137 01:21:29,580 --> 01:21:31,364 I like you, sir.Shut up. 2138 01:21:31,364 --> 01:21:32,670 Okay. 2139 01:21:32,670 --> 01:21:34,106 Well, what can we do to turn this around? 2140 01:21:34,106 --> 01:21:36,326 There's about one- and-a-half hours left 2141 01:21:36,326 --> 01:21:37,762 at the West Coast polls. 2142 01:21:37,762 --> 01:21:40,156 If there's a leak saying Gilliam is going to win, 2143 01:21:40,156 --> 01:21:41,635 you'll get a late rush. 2144 01:21:41,635 --> 01:21:44,247 You get California, you get the election. 2145 01:21:44,247 --> 01:21:45,552 [ sniffs] 2146 01:21:45,552 --> 01:21:48,251 It'll make the 6:30 news if we do it now. 2147 01:21:48,251 --> 01:21:49,948 We just have to put it out there. 2148 01:21:49,948 --> 01:21:51,428 Can we do this? 2149 01:21:51,428 --> 01:21:54,431 We're the government. We can do anything. 2150 01:21:54,431 --> 01:21:57,042 ANCHORMAN: The race for President now turns to the West Coast. 2151 01:21:57,042 --> 01:21:58,826 BIG DAVE: People, Armageddon is upon us, 2152 01:21:58,826 --> 01:22:00,611 and Big Dave is scared! 2153 01:22:00,611 --> 01:22:02,482 ANCHORMAN 2: If the current voting trends sustain, 2154 01:22:02,482 --> 01:22:05,442 it appears likely that for the first time in our history, 2155 01:22:05,442 --> 01:22:07,052 a black man will become 2156 01:22:07,052 --> 01:22:09,750 President of the United States of America. 2157 01:22:09,750 --> 01:22:13,058 ♪ One, two... one, two, three, yeah! ♪ 2158 01:22:13,058 --> 01:22:15,626 [ people yelling] 2159 01:22:15,626 --> 01:22:18,150 [ rapid-fire rap playing] 2160 01:22:26,811 --> 01:22:30,641 [ yelling predominates over rapid-fire rap song] 2161 01:22:36,690 --> 01:22:40,042 [ screaming] 2162 01:22:44,524 --> 01:22:46,570 DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING: I have a dream 2163 01:22:46,570 --> 01:22:49,573 that, one day... 2164 01:22:49,573 --> 01:22:52,054 this nation will rise up 2165 01:22:52,054 --> 01:22:56,754 and live up to the meaning of its dream. 2166 01:22:56,754 --> 01:23:00,801 We hold these truths to be self-evident, 2167 01:23:00,801 --> 01:23:04,109 that all men are created equal. 2168 01:23:04,109 --> 01:23:05,415 Checkmate. 2169 01:23:05,415 --> 01:23:07,939 I, Richard Nixon, do solemnly swear... 2170 01:23:07,939 --> 01:23:09,985 I, Ronald Reagan, do solemnly swear... 2171 01:23:09,985 --> 01:23:12,204 [ rap song and yelling fade] 2172 01:23:16,948 --> 01:23:18,906 The race for President is over. 2173 01:23:18,906 --> 01:23:20,604 The race for President is over. 2174 01:23:20,604 --> 01:23:22,084 The election is now over. 2175 01:23:22,084 --> 01:23:23,999 The race for President......is over. 2176 01:23:23,999 --> 01:23:25,565 ANCHORMAN: Mays Gilliam--ANCHORWOMAN: Brian Lewis-- 2177 01:23:25,565 --> 01:23:26,958 Mays Gilliam--Brian Lewis-- 2178 01:23:26,958 --> 01:23:29,004 The race for President is over. 2179 01:23:29,004 --> 01:23:33,573 For the first time in history, a black man, Mays Gilliam... 2180 01:23:33,573 --> 01:23:35,401 [ cheering] 2181 01:23:35,401 --> 01:23:38,317 ...will be the next President of the United States of America. 2182 01:23:38,317 --> 01:23:41,886 Oh! 2183 01:23:41,886 --> 01:23:43,627 Oh, my God! 2184 01:23:43,627 --> 01:23:47,631 Oh! 2185 01:23:47,631 --> 01:23:51,156 Oh! Oh... 2186 01:23:51,156 --> 01:23:52,897 ANCHORMAN: ...of the United States of America. 2187 01:23:52,897 --> 01:23:54,333 [ strangled gasp] 2188 01:23:54,333 --> 01:23:55,726 [ clamoring] 2189 01:23:57,075 --> 01:23:58,511 Come here, brother. Come here. 2190 01:24:01,079 --> 01:24:02,341 I love you, man. 2191 01:24:02,341 --> 01:24:03,647 I love you, too, man. 2192 01:24:03,647 --> 01:24:06,171 [ cheering wildly] 2193 01:24:12,351 --> 01:24:14,223 MAYS: Appreciate it. Thanks a lot. 2194 01:24:14,223 --> 01:24:16,094 Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. 2195 01:24:17,748 --> 01:24:19,967 Thank you. Thank you. 2196 01:24:19,967 --> 01:24:21,621 Thank you. Thank you. 2197 01:24:21,621 --> 01:24:23,536 We won! We won! We won! 2198 01:24:23,536 --> 01:24:24,972 Aren't you happy? 2199 01:24:24,972 --> 01:24:26,365 Can I have a massage? 2200 01:24:26,365 --> 01:24:27,627 Yes! 2201 01:24:27,627 --> 01:24:30,804 I won! I won! I won! 2202 01:24:30,804 --> 01:24:32,241 Debra, there is no way in the world 2203 01:24:32,241 --> 01:24:33,894 I could have ever done this without you. 2204 01:24:33,894 --> 01:24:35,722 You'’re damn right. 2205 01:24:35,722 --> 01:24:37,028 We won! We did it! Yes! 2206 01:24:37,028 --> 01:24:38,464 We did it! We won! Yes, yes, yes! 2207 01:24:38,464 --> 01:24:40,727 [ gunshot] 2208 01:24:40,727 --> 01:24:42,512 Look at my little brother![ laughs] 2209 01:24:42,512 --> 01:24:43,991 Boy, I'm proud of you!Man! 2210 01:24:43,991 --> 01:24:46,037 Mr. President!Mr. Vice President. 2211 01:24:46,037 --> 01:24:48,039 You're the man!No, you the man! 2212 01:24:48,039 --> 01:24:49,693 You ain't gotta worry 'bout no assassination or nothing. 2213 01:24:49,693 --> 01:24:51,477 Why? 2214 01:24:51,477 --> 01:24:53,088 'Cause they sure don't want me to be the next President. 2215 01:24:53,088 --> 01:24:54,306 Little brother, you can raise taxes, 2216 01:24:54,306 --> 01:24:55,568 you can start a war.... 2217 01:24:55,568 --> 01:24:57,744 ANCHORMAN: Mays Gilliam... 2218 01:24:57,744 --> 01:25:00,617 That's my man! That's my man! 2219 01:25:00,617 --> 01:25:02,619 Whoo! 2220 01:25:02,619 --> 01:25:03,881 ARNOT: Excuse me, please. 2221 01:25:03,881 --> 01:25:05,796 Mays! 2222 01:25:05,796 --> 01:25:07,493 Hey! Man, I been looking for you. 2223 01:25:07,493 --> 01:25:08,755 I was looking for you. 2224 01:25:08,755 --> 01:25:10,192 Mays, this is amazing. 2225 01:25:10,192 --> 01:25:11,497 It's amazing. It's incredible. 2226 01:25:11,497 --> 01:25:12,933 Incredible! 2227 01:25:12,933 --> 01:25:14,239 What you were up against... 2228 01:25:14,239 --> 01:25:15,588 The odds! 2229 01:25:15,588 --> 01:25:16,894 Ooh, I can't wait to start working, 2230 01:25:16,894 --> 01:25:18,417 and, boy, do I have a job for you. 2231 01:25:18,417 --> 01:25:19,984 Wow! I don't know what to say. 2232 01:25:19,984 --> 01:25:22,900 What department do you want me to work in? Finance? 2233 01:25:22,900 --> 01:25:26,121 No, no, no, no, that's not good enough for you. 2234 01:25:26,121 --> 01:25:27,209 Foreign Affairs? 2235 01:25:27,209 --> 01:25:28,558 No, not Foreign Affairs. 2236 01:25:28,558 --> 01:25:29,950 I thought you could do something 2237 01:25:29,950 --> 01:25:32,692 real good in... Security! 2238 01:25:32,692 --> 01:25:33,867 You suck! 2239 01:25:35,956 --> 01:25:38,785 [ sobbing] 2240 01:25:38,785 --> 01:25:42,615 MARTIN: We'd like you to run for President. 2241 01:25:42,615 --> 01:25:46,141 MAYS: Sometimes, you don't know if people like you for you. 2242 01:25:46,141 --> 01:25:48,621 LISA: Well, I like you for you. 2243 01:25:48,621 --> 01:25:50,623 Thanks a lot. Thank you. Lisa! 2244 01:25:50,623 --> 01:25:52,364 Mays! 2245 01:25:52,364 --> 01:25:54,801 Get your hand off my ass, boy! 2246 01:25:54,801 --> 01:25:56,629 Wait! 2247 01:25:59,197 --> 01:26:01,156 Mays... 2248 01:26:01,156 --> 01:26:03,114 Oh, my God, you are everywhere. 2249 01:26:03,114 --> 01:26:04,376 Look at you! 2250 01:26:04,376 --> 01:26:07,074 Okay, so, what's the first thing 2251 01:26:07,074 --> 01:26:09,686 you're going to do, Mr. President? 2252 01:26:09,686 --> 01:26:13,124 Well, the first thing I'm going to do is make you my First Lady. 2253 01:26:13,124 --> 01:26:15,344 Mays, don't you play with me like that. 2254 01:26:15,344 --> 01:26:16,606 I'm not playing. 2255 01:26:16,606 --> 01:26:17,868 You can't do that! 2256 01:26:17,868 --> 01:26:19,130 I'm the government. 2257 01:26:19,130 --> 01:26:20,479 I can do anything. 2258 01:26:26,964 --> 01:26:30,228 ♪ 2259 01:26:36,930 --> 01:26:42,458 ANNOUNCER: Get ready for the 2005 Presidential Inaugural Ball. 2260 01:26:42,458 --> 01:26:44,721 Ladies and gentlemen, the President 2261 01:26:44,721 --> 01:26:48,725 of the United States of America, Mays Gilliam, 2262 01:26:48,725 --> 01:26:52,859 and his future First Wifey, Lisa Clark! 2263 01:26:52,859 --> 01:26:54,905 [ applause] 2264 01:26:54,905 --> 01:26:57,124 ♪ 2265 01:27:04,654 --> 01:27:07,004 ♪ Look at him now, man, ain't this great? ♪ 2266 01:27:07,004 --> 01:27:09,485 ♪ Biggest man in town, he's the head of state ♪ 2267 01:27:09,485 --> 01:27:11,704 ♪ They come from all around just for one handshake ♪ 2268 01:27:11,704 --> 01:27:15,839 ♪ Look at him now, he's the head of state... ♪ 2269 01:27:21,888 --> 01:27:24,804 That's me, Mays Gilliam, 2270 01:27:24,804 --> 01:27:27,590 President of the United States of America. 2271 01:27:27,590 --> 01:27:30,027 North America. 2272 01:27:30,027 --> 01:27:32,334 [ ping] 2273 01:27:36,686 --> 01:27:37,948 REPORTER: Who'd you vote for?For what? 2274 01:27:37,948 --> 01:27:39,732 For President. Of what? 2275 01:27:39,732 --> 01:27:41,517 Of the United States. Of what? 2276 01:27:41,517 --> 01:27:43,606 Of America. What America? 2277 01:27:43,606 --> 01:27:44,955 North America. 2278 01:27:44,955 --> 01:27:46,957 Yo, slick, I don't vote, man. 2279 01:27:46,957 --> 01:27:48,263 You gonna buy some of this meat, or what? 2280 01:27:48,263 --> 01:27:50,395 You can't trust nobody. 2281 01:27:50,395 --> 01:27:52,745 Everybody's trying to rob you. Nobody! 2282 01:27:52,745 --> 01:27:54,617 That guy, right there! Don't trust him! 2283 01:27:54,617 --> 01:27:57,054 Can't trust no-damn-body! 2284 01:27:57,054 --> 01:28:00,275 America's taking advantage of you, you and you! 2285 01:28:00,275 --> 01:28:01,928 You can go to war when you're 18, 2286 01:28:01,928 --> 01:28:04,714 but you can't have a drink until you're 21! 2287 01:28:04,714 --> 01:28:06,150 ALL: That ain't right! 2288 01:28:06,150 --> 01:28:07,194 You're right, that ain't right! 2289 01:28:07,194 --> 01:28:08,195 So let me get this straight. 2290 01:28:08,195 --> 01:28:09,501 You're 18 years old. 2291 01:28:09,501 --> 01:28:11,547 You go to war. You come back. 2292 01:28:11,547 --> 01:28:13,070 Your leg is chopped off. 2293 01:28:13,070 --> 01:28:14,767 You got a nub! 2294 01:28:14,767 --> 01:28:17,248 Everywhere you go, they say, "Hey, what's up, nubby?" 2295 01:28:17,248 --> 01:28:19,119 And you get to the bar, and you say, 2296 01:28:19,119 --> 01:28:20,556 "Bartender, can I have a drink?" 2297 01:28:20,556 --> 01:28:21,905 And he looks you up and down, 2298 01:28:21,905 --> 01:28:23,863 and he says, "I gotta see some I.D." 2299 01:28:23,863 --> 01:28:25,387 I.D.?! 2300 01:28:25,387 --> 01:28:26,866 You mean to tell me 2301 01:28:26,866 --> 01:28:29,695 a one-legged teenager can't have a drink? 2302 01:28:29,695 --> 01:28:31,131 ALL: That ain't right! 2303 01:28:31,131 --> 01:28:33,438 Where is the nub? Where is the nub? 2304 01:28:33,438 --> 01:28:35,484 Prescription drugs, I'’m going to lower prices. 2305 01:28:35,484 --> 01:28:37,050 Let me explain something else to you. 2306 01:28:37,050 --> 01:28:39,096 You can survive a stroke. 2307 01:28:39,096 --> 01:28:42,795 But the high prices of medicine will give you a heart attack. 2308 01:28:42,795 --> 01:28:46,756 America is the richest, most powerful nation on Earth. 2309 01:28:46,756 --> 01:28:50,803 If America was a car, America would be a Bentley, 2310 01:28:50,803 --> 01:28:55,199 sitting on chrome doves, with TVs in the headrests, 2311 01:28:55,199 --> 01:28:58,942 and a fine, naked Puerto Rican girl feeding you grapes! 2312 01:28:58,942 --> 01:29:00,596 Ain't nothing better than that! 2313 01:29:00,596 --> 01:29:02,380 Ain't nothing ever been better than that! 2314 01:29:02,380 --> 01:29:04,948 IVAN SCOTT: Most political pundits are saying that your brother 2315 01:29:04,948 --> 01:29:06,906 destroyed any chance he had of winning this election 2316 01:29:06,906 --> 01:29:09,126 by naming you as his running mate. Why did he do that? 2317 01:29:09,126 --> 01:29:10,736 Why'd your brother pick you to be the anchorman? 2318 01:29:10,736 --> 01:29:12,303 I don't have a brother. 2319 01:29:12,303 --> 01:29:13,870 Oh, you said it was your brother at the time. 2320 01:29:13,870 --> 01:29:15,393 I did my homework the same way you did yours. 2321 01:29:15,393 --> 01:29:17,395 Okay? You got your job the same way I got mine. 2322 01:29:17,395 --> 01:29:18,657 I'm not running for public office. 2323 01:29:18,657 --> 01:29:22,095 And I'm not running for anchorman. 2324 01:29:22,095 --> 01:29:24,141 ♪ 2325 01:29:31,975 --> 01:29:34,020 ♪ 2326 01:29:43,987 --> 01:29:46,032 ♪ 2327 01:29:55,999 --> 01:29:58,218 ♪ 2328 01:30:08,011 --> 01:30:10,579 ♪ 2329 01:30:13,973 --> 01:30:20,763 ♪