1 00:00:04,422 --> 00:00:06,257 ("MY LOVIN"' BY EN VOGUE PLAYING ON THE RADIO) 2 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,329 MAN: (ON RADIO) And now, it's time for a breakdown. 3 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:20,247 (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 4 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,583 (BOB SINGING "MY LOVIN"' BY EN VOGUE) 5 00:01:39,678 --> 00:01:41,764 Mmm, mmm, mmm, yeah-- 6 00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:45,017 Man, I told you Robbie Wheirdicht showers here during first period. 7 00:01:45,184 --> 00:01:47,895 Why doesn't he just shower at home like a normal person? 8 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,022 Look at him. 9 00:01:50,189 --> 00:01:51,982 Does anything about that look normal to you? 10 00:01:52,233 --> 00:01:53,484 (BOB CONTINUES SINGING) 11 00:01:53,901 --> 00:01:56,362 You know, he's actually a pretty good dancer. 12 00:01:59,365 --> 00:02:00,407 Let's wreck him. 13 00:02:00,824 --> 00:02:02,910 - TREVORI Hey, Weird Dick! -(ALL LAUGH) 14 00:02:03,244 --> 00:02:04,286 Come on. 15 00:02:05,242 --> 00:02:06,869 Finally, young ladies and young gentlemen, 16 00:02:07,035 --> 00:02:10,914 it is my pleasure to announce that the winner 17 00:02:11,081 --> 00:02:14,209 of the National High School Student of the Year Award 18 00:02:14,376 --> 00:02:15,878 is none other than your very own 19 00:02:16,044 --> 00:02:17,921 two-time student body president, 20 00:02:18,088 --> 00:02:21,550 the captain of Central High's All Valley track team, 21 00:02:21,717 --> 00:02:23,218 president of the drama club 22 00:02:23,385 --> 00:02:26,847 and the senior voted "Most Likely to Succeed." 23 00:02:27,055 --> 00:02:29,558 I gotta tell you folks, after 40 years as an educator, 24 00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:31,560 he is my favorite student. 25 00:02:32,227 --> 00:02:33,437 I wish he were my son 26 00:02:33,604 --> 00:02:35,731 if I were medically able to have children. 27 00:02:35,898 --> 00:02:36,899 (AUDIENCE CHUCKLES) 28 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:40,360 He's everybody's favorite all-around guy... 29 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:42,404 Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner! Come on! 30 00:02:42,613 --> 00:02:44,114 (ALL CHEERING) 31 00:02:45,407 --> 00:02:46,867 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 32 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,330 ("UNBELIEVABLE" BY EMF PLAYING) 33 00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,380 (CHEERING CONTINUES) 34 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:07,596 ALL: (CHANTING) Golden Jet! Golden Jet! Golden Jet! 35 00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:09,765 Oh, my goodness. 36 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,601 Wow! Wow, guys- 37 00:03:12,768 --> 00:03:15,562 Hey! How about a hand for Principal Kent, huh? 38 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:16,730 Huh? 39 00:03:17,314 --> 00:03:19,775 Honestly, if my mom was into white guys, it would be you. 40 00:03:19,942 --> 00:03:20,943 I know it would, okay? 41 00:03:21,109 --> 00:03:22,611 (ALL LAUGH) 42 00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:26,573 Well, as we all know, this is our last assembly, 43 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:29,826 which means this is the last time in front of you guys 44 00:03:29,993 --> 00:03:32,371 that I'll be able to tell the most beautiful girl in the world... 45 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,957 I'm talking about you, Maggie Johnson, 46 00:03:35,123 --> 00:03:38,627 that I love you. I love you, baby. I do. 47 00:03:38,794 --> 00:03:40,629 I'm gonna put it in my pocket. 48 00:03:40,796 --> 00:03:42,381 -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) - I'll save it. 49 00:03:42,547 --> 00:03:43,548 Okay. 50 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:47,135 All right, guys. We're seniors now. 51 00:03:47,803 --> 00:03:49,930 And once we get those diplomas, 52 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:53,058 the decisions that we make after that are all up to us. 53 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,978 I don't know what path life is gonna take me on. 54 00:03:56,144 --> 00:03:57,688 But I can promise you all this... 55 00:03:57,854 --> 00:03:59,523 That I, for one, will push myself 56 00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:01,566 at every stage, at every step. 57 00:04:01,733 --> 00:04:04,236 So, I got one question to ask. 58 00:04:04,569 --> 00:04:07,823 I got one question for the graduating class of 1996 59 00:04:07,990 --> 00:04:09,283 and that's "Will you..." 60 00:04:10,325 --> 00:04:12,035 (SHOUTS) Check out my Weird Dick! 61 00:04:13,245 --> 00:04:14,246 (BOYS GROAN) 62 00:04:14,496 --> 00:04:17,332 (SQUEAKING) 63 00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:18,834 (ALL GASPING) 64 00:04:19,835 --> 00:04:21,878 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 65 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,354 Hey. Here, here, man. 66 00:04:40,522 --> 00:04:41,940 (SOFTLY) Thank you. 67 00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,108 (LAUGHTER CONTINUES) 68 00:04:50,032 --> 00:04:52,367 -(LOCK RATTLES) -(LAUGHTER INTENSIFIES) 69 00:04:58,749 --> 00:05:01,043 Well, there's no coming back from that. 70 00:05:02,919 --> 00:05:04,046 Calvin Joyner, everybody, 71 00:05:04,212 --> 00:05:06,923 voted "Most Likely to Succeed." 72 00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:10,719 ALL: (CHANTING) Golden Jet! Golden Jet! Golden Jet! 73 00:05:13,638 --> 00:05:15,390 ("JUMPMAN" BY DRAKE & FUTURE PLAYING) 74 00:05:43,919 --> 00:05:46,254 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 75 00:05:48,673 --> 00:05:49,716 (PHONE RINGING) 76 00:05:58,716 --> 00:06:00,259 Hey. Check it. 77 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,136 - What is the matter with you? - What? 78 00:06:02,303 --> 00:06:03,304 What do you mean, "What"? 79 00:06:03,471 --> 00:06:04,472 Why do you think I wanna see that? 80 00:06:04,639 --> 00:06:06,140 No, I'm working on a new sexting app. 81 00:06:06,307 --> 00:06:07,642 Okay. It's kind of like lnstagram, right? 82 00:06:07,808 --> 00:06:08,851 But, instead of filters, 83 00:06:09,018 --> 00:06:10,645 it just makes yourjunk look huge. 84 00:06:10,811 --> 00:06:13,564 Like, three to six inches bigger. It's amazing. 85 00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:16,859 It's called "Junk Mail." Clever, right? 86 00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:19,528 You know, right now, this little walk right here? 87 00:06:19,695 --> 00:06:21,489 I kinda just want to take it away from my life. 88 00:06:21,656 --> 00:06:23,741 Why are you all cranky-pants this morning, huh? 89 00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:26,452 It's because Ethan got promoted instead of you? 90 00:06:27,532 --> 00:06:28,659 Ethan got promoted? 91 00:06:28,909 --> 00:06:31,036 (SIGHS) Youngest senior associate in the history of the firm. 92 00:06:31,203 --> 00:06:32,788 Corner office, the whole deal. 93 00:06:32,954 --> 00:06:34,122 Didn't he used to be your assistant? 94 00:06:35,624 --> 00:06:37,751 Who cares? Hey, you should come to lunch with us. 95 00:06:37,918 --> 00:06:39,336 We're gonna be celebrating his pro-mosh! 96 00:06:39,503 --> 00:06:41,463 It'll probably be good for you to kiss the ring a bit. 97 00:06:42,089 --> 00:06:43,423 "Kiss the ring a bit"? 98 00:06:43,590 --> 00:06:45,634 Hey, you play your chessboard however you like, okay? 99 00:06:46,218 --> 00:06:49,137 Me, lunch today? I'm gonna French kiss that thing. 100 00:06:49,388 --> 00:06:50,639 Aah... 101 00:06:51,264 --> 00:06:54,059 I can't. I'm taking my wife to lunch today, so... 102 00:06:54,226 --> 00:06:55,519 All right. Bummer for you. 103 00:06:55,686 --> 00:06:57,896 (SINGING) 104 00:06:59,815 --> 00:07:00,857 Right? 105 00:07:01,191 --> 00:07:02,609 (GRUNTS) 106 00:07:03,443 --> 00:07:04,903 Can you just get out of my face? 107 00:07:05,153 --> 00:07:06,571 #Blessed. 108 00:07:10,033 --> 00:07:11,493 (LAUGHTER) 109 00:07:14,746 --> 00:07:16,081 (MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 110 00:07:16,248 --> 00:07:17,457 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 111 00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:20,127 To a guy I not only consider my coworker, 112 00:07:20,293 --> 00:07:21,670 but my personal friend. 113 00:07:21,962 --> 00:07:23,839 - To Ethan! - Cheers! 114 00:07:24,089 --> 00:07:25,424 (ALL CHEERING) 115 00:07:26,466 --> 00:07:28,260 Do you wanna move tables? I know this kind of sucks. 116 00:07:28,427 --> 00:07:30,137 No, no. it doesn't suck. 117 00:07:30,345 --> 00:07:31,638 Hey, if I wanted to get one of those ice teas 118 00:07:31,805 --> 00:07:33,724 but I want most of it to be bourbon-- What is that called? 119 00:07:33,932 --> 00:07:37,686 Okay. How about we change the topic to something a little more fun? 120 00:07:38,019 --> 00:07:39,604 Anything else, please. 121 00:07:39,771 --> 00:07:40,939 Oh, how about... 122 00:07:41,106 --> 00:07:43,191 This is the dress that I'm thinking about wearing. 123 00:07:43,984 --> 00:07:44,985 CALVIN: Oh! 124 00:07:45,152 --> 00:07:46,236 Honey, I want every single girl 125 00:07:46,403 --> 00:07:47,904 to be jealous tomorrow night. 126 00:07:48,405 --> 00:07:49,448 Oh. 127 00:07:49,740 --> 00:07:50,741 What? 128 00:07:50,907 --> 00:07:52,242 I just... I just don't want to go. 129 00:07:52,451 --> 00:07:54,369 Calvin, it's our 20-year high school reunion. 130 00:07:54,536 --> 00:07:55,704 I'm not gonna go without you. 131 00:07:55,871 --> 00:07:57,998 We agreed we were going. I RSVP'd for us. 132 00:07:58,165 --> 00:08:00,792 I just changed my mind. That's all. 133 00:08:00,959 --> 00:08:02,294 Okay. I see. 134 00:08:02,461 --> 00:08:04,880 You're disappointed about the promotion. I get it. 135 00:08:05,046 --> 00:08:07,048 This is not about the promotion. 136 00:08:07,215 --> 00:08:09,843 Okay, this has to do with me not wanting to spend my Friday night 137 00:08:10,010 --> 00:08:11,678 answering the "What are you doing now?" question. 138 00:08:11,845 --> 00:08:12,888 That's what I'll get all night. 139 00:08:13,096 --> 00:08:14,848 "Hey, Calvin, what are you doing now?" "I'm an accountant." 140 00:08:15,015 --> 00:08:16,099 "An accountant? Really? 141 00:08:16,266 --> 00:08:17,642 "I thought you would be the governor, man. 142 00:08:17,809 --> 00:08:20,187 "Wait a minute. Didn't you get voted 'Most Likely to Succeed'? 143 00:08:20,353 --> 00:08:21,730 "I guess we missed that one." 144 00:08:21,897 --> 00:08:23,231 Is this why you've been so weird and moody lately? 145 00:08:23,398 --> 00:08:24,733 'Cause you're freaking out about the reunion? 146 00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:25,942 - No. - And what's the matter 147 00:08:26,109 --> 00:08:27,652 with being an accountant? You love your job. 148 00:08:27,819 --> 00:08:29,321 No, you love your job. 149 00:08:29,488 --> 00:08:31,031 I'm good at my job. It's not the same thing. 150 00:08:31,198 --> 00:08:32,199 Honey, that's not fair. 151 00:08:32,365 --> 00:08:33,992 You're a partner at your firm. 152 00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:36,411 Instead, I work in a building with a giant, 153 00:08:36,578 --> 00:08:38,038 inflatable gorilla out in front of it. 154 00:08:38,205 --> 00:08:39,998 Look, I don't want to be the guy that peaked in high school 155 00:08:40,165 --> 00:08:42,125 and, after he peaked, his life went like this... 156 00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:44,127 (IMITATES CRASH) 157 00:08:44,878 --> 00:08:46,421 I don't know the sound that that thing makes, 158 00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:47,631 but you know what I'm trying to do. 159 00:08:47,798 --> 00:08:48,965 I'm the guy that went down, okay? 160 00:08:49,132 --> 00:08:50,175 - Yeah. - Then my life 161 00:08:50,342 --> 00:08:51,635 down here became a disappointment. 162 00:08:51,885 --> 00:08:53,053 That's what I'll be. 163 00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:54,221 (SOFTLY) Wow. 164 00:08:55,305 --> 00:08:56,306 What? 165 00:08:56,473 --> 00:08:57,724 I had no idea that your life with me 166 00:08:57,891 --> 00:09:00,352 was such a soundless, crashing disappointment! 167 00:09:00,519 --> 00:09:02,145 - Don't do that. -(IMITATES CRASH) 168 00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:04,231 - That's not-- Don't do that. - That's the sound. 169 00:09:04,397 --> 00:09:05,899 You want to know the sound I'm about to make right now? 170 00:09:06,066 --> 00:09:07,150 The sound of me not going. 171 00:09:07,317 --> 00:09:08,693 That's the sound I'm making. 172 00:09:10,028 --> 00:09:11,029 I'm not going. 173 00:09:14,032 --> 00:09:15,033 Yeah. 174 00:09:23,959 --> 00:09:25,669 Mmm-mmm-mmm. 175 00:09:31,842 --> 00:09:32,843 No. 176 00:09:34,219 --> 00:09:35,971 Not going to that. 177 00:09:36,513 --> 00:09:37,639 (COMPUTER CHIMES) 178 00:09:43,895 --> 00:09:45,063 Bob Stone? 179 00:09:55,448 --> 00:09:56,575 Okay. 180 00:09:57,784 --> 00:09:58,785 (PHONE RINGING) 181 00:10:01,955 --> 00:10:03,498 (RINGING CONTINUES) 182 00:10:07,043 --> 00:10:08,044 Hello? 183 00:10:08,211 --> 00:10:10,589 - Hey. - Girl, you scared me. 184 00:10:10,881 --> 00:10:13,383 - I did? - Yes. I thought that you were... 185 00:10:14,467 --> 00:10:16,428 I just-- On the... 186 00:10:17,012 --> 00:10:19,764 Never mind. Hey, I'm glad you called. 187 00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:22,183 I'm sorry about lunch today. 188 00:10:22,976 --> 00:10:24,019 I'm an idiot, babe. 189 00:10:24,185 --> 00:10:25,812 I don't even know what's going on with me right now. 190 00:10:25,979 --> 00:10:27,522 - I really don't. - Yeah? 191 00:10:27,689 --> 00:10:29,691 Actually, honey, 192 00:10:29,858 --> 00:10:31,651 that's what I was calling to talk to you about. 193 00:10:32,277 --> 00:10:35,322 Look, honey, I think that we should see someone. 194 00:10:36,364 --> 00:10:39,367 What do you mean, "Someone"? What do you mean? 195 00:10:39,534 --> 00:10:41,620 See someone, like a therapist. 196 00:10:41,995 --> 00:10:44,122 Honey, black people don't go to therapy. 197 00:10:44,956 --> 00:10:46,333 We go to barbershops. 198 00:10:46,499 --> 00:10:48,043 That's where we talk out our problems. 199 00:10:48,209 --> 00:10:50,503 Or we watch the movie Barbershop. One or the other. 200 00:10:50,670 --> 00:10:52,213 Look, my parents were really unhappy 201 00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,299 for a long time before they got divorced. 202 00:10:54,466 --> 00:10:57,969 And maybe if they saw someone sooner, they would still be married. 203 00:10:59,304 --> 00:11:00,889 I just want to nip this thing in the bud, whatever it is. 204 00:11:01,222 --> 00:11:02,390 I don't want to end up like my parents. 205 00:11:04,017 --> 00:11:05,310 VVassup? 206 00:11:05,477 --> 00:11:06,895 VVassup? 207 00:11:13,443 --> 00:11:15,612 MAGGIE: Please, just do it for me, if not for you. 208 00:11:16,738 --> 00:11:17,906 CALVIN: All right. Uh... 209 00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:21,701 - When? When do you want to do it? - MAGGIE: Really? 210 00:11:22,243 --> 00:11:24,037 The doctor said he could see us at 6:00 p.m. 211 00:11:24,704 --> 00:11:27,082 Um... 6:00 p.m., when? Tonight? 212 00:11:27,248 --> 00:11:29,084 Yeah. Yeah, is that a problem? 213 00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:33,171 Holy shit! Robbie Wheirdicht? 214 00:11:33,964 --> 00:11:36,675 Calvin, honey? Hello? 215 00:11:36,841 --> 00:11:38,259 Um, yeah. 216 00:11:38,426 --> 00:11:41,346 IcanW.laHeady made plans for tonight, baby. 217 00:11:41,513 --> 00:11:43,765 - MAGGIE: Plans with who? - With Bob Stone. 218 00:11:43,932 --> 00:11:45,934 Who's Bob Stone? That sounds like a fake name. 219 00:11:46,101 --> 00:11:49,437 No, no. You remember Robbie Wheirdicht, from high school? 220 00:11:49,604 --> 00:11:50,605 No. 221 00:11:50,772 --> 00:11:52,607 The guy who got beaten up by Trisha Demarco at homecoming? 222 00:11:52,816 --> 00:11:53,858 No. 223 00:11:54,025 --> 00:11:56,361 The kid that tried to rap along to Coolio's 1,2, 3,4 at the talent show 224 00:11:56,528 --> 00:11:58,113 but then he kinda lost his way, midway through 225 00:11:58,279 --> 00:11:59,906 so he just started bopping his head, and he stood there? 226 00:12:00,073 --> 00:12:01,574 No. Nothing. 227 00:12:01,783 --> 00:12:03,952 The guy who got thrown out the gym, butt-ass-naked, senior year? 228 00:12:04,119 --> 00:12:05,120 Oh, my God, yeah! 229 00:12:05,286 --> 00:12:06,913 Why wouldn't you start with that? 230 00:12:07,122 --> 00:12:08,665 Because I thought that was kind of mean. I don't know. 231 00:12:09,031 --> 00:12:10,366 He never came back to school after that, right? 232 00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:12,743 Like, not for finals or graduation or anything. 233 00:12:12,910 --> 00:12:14,829 I'm not sure. I don't know if he did or not, 234 00:12:14,996 --> 00:12:17,331 but he changed his name to "Bob Stone" 235 00:12:17,498 --> 00:12:19,625 and apparently he's in town for the high school reunion. 236 00:12:19,792 --> 00:12:21,794 He wants to go to dinner tonight, and I kinda already said "yes." 237 00:12:21,961 --> 00:12:22,962 - Okay. - If you want me to cancel, 238 00:12:23,129 --> 00:12:24,630 I will. You know? 239 00:12:24,797 --> 00:12:26,090 If that's what you want, I don't mind. 240 00:12:26,841 --> 00:12:28,926 I mean, it's a little weird, but whatever. 241 00:12:29,093 --> 00:12:31,470 I'll just see if the doctor can fit us in tomorrow. 242 00:12:31,637 --> 00:12:33,723 - How about at lunch time? - Okay. All right, fine. 243 00:12:33,890 --> 00:12:35,141 Okay, good. I love you. 244 00:12:35,308 --> 00:12:37,018 I love you, too, babe. I do. 245 00:12:37,810 --> 00:12:38,811 All right. 246 00:12:40,229 --> 00:12:41,522 ("ME SO HORNY" BY 2 LIVE CREW PLAYING ON COMPUTER) 247 00:12:42,148 --> 00:12:43,149 - Oh, my-- - MAGGIE: What is that? 248 00:12:43,316 --> 00:12:45,151 - Okay. - Calvin? Are you-- 249 00:12:45,318 --> 00:12:46,319 Love you. Bye-bye. 250 00:12:49,488 --> 00:12:50,489 No! 251 00:12:50,990 --> 00:12:52,283 Stop, stop! 252 00:12:52,658 --> 00:12:53,826 Hey, man. I-- 253 00:12:53,993 --> 00:12:56,037 Hey! What's up, guys? 254 00:12:56,621 --> 00:12:59,165 Congratulations on that promotion, man. 255 00:12:59,332 --> 00:13:00,333 It's quite the thing. 256 00:13:00,708 --> 00:13:03,169 Thank you. Hey, that's not work appropriate. 257 00:13:03,669 --> 00:13:04,670 Yup. 258 00:13:04,837 --> 00:13:06,464 Not cool, man. Not cool. 259 00:13:08,049 --> 00:13:09,050 (SIGHS) 260 00:13:10,009 --> 00:13:11,719 Dude, forward that to me. 261 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:18,347 (SIREN BLARING IN DISTANCE) 262 00:13:22,017 --> 00:13:23,185 MAN 1: For real man, seriously? 263 00:13:23,352 --> 00:13:25,020 MAN 2: Yeah. Watch it, punk. 264 00:13:27,523 --> 00:13:28,899 Excuse you, too. 265 00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:31,860 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 266 00:13:32,027 --> 00:13:33,570 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 267 00:13:48,626 --> 00:13:50,545 - My man! -(SCREAMS) 268 00:13:52,547 --> 00:13:54,924 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calvin. It's me, Bob. 269 00:13:56,843 --> 00:13:58,678 Sorry, what? Do I know you? 270 00:13:59,762 --> 00:14:00,763 Do you know... 271 00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:03,933 Robbie Wheirdicht from high school! 272 00:14:05,059 --> 00:14:06,769 Are you kidding? What? 273 00:14:07,228 --> 00:14:09,647 - Wait, you're Robbie Wheirdicht? - Yeah! 274 00:14:10,565 --> 00:14:13,234 God, man, look at you! You've lost, like, 200 pounds! 275 00:14:13,401 --> 00:14:14,986 I see you gained it back in muscle. 276 00:14:15,153 --> 00:14:16,779 Oh, my God! You look great! 277 00:14:17,071 --> 00:14:18,823 - No, you look great! - Stop it. 278 00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:21,409 No, you haven't changed since high school, dude! 279 00:14:21,659 --> 00:14:24,745 No, you're just sexy as dick right now. 280 00:14:24,912 --> 00:14:26,956 You don't look somebody in the eyes and say that. 281 00:14:27,123 --> 00:14:28,166 Hey, let's get hammered. 282 00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:30,585 I got an early clay at work, so I'll probably-- 283 00:14:30,751 --> 00:14:31,919 No, come on, I'm buying! 284 00:14:32,086 --> 00:14:33,004 Shit. 285 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:34,416 Mmm. 286 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,461 I'm sorry, man. I am blown away right now. 287 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,838 - Dude, you used to be Fat Robbie. -(LAUGHS) 288 00:14:40,089 --> 00:14:42,299 Look at you! This is like a total transformation. 289 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:44,093 You look like Hercules or somebody. 290 00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:45,636 What did you do? Come on, give it to me. 291 00:14:45,803 --> 00:14:47,763 - I didn't do much, really. - Stop it. 292 00:14:48,264 --> 00:14:50,266 All right. I just did one thing. 293 00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:51,642 Come on, I need to know. 294 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,270 I worked out six hours a day, every day, 295 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:55,896 for the last 20 years straight. 296 00:14:57,564 --> 00:15:00,067 - I mean, anybody can do it, right? - Yeah. 297 00:15:01,151 --> 00:15:04,989 Yeah. You know, I've gotten into hot yoga. 298 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:06,448 (CLEARS TH ROAT) 299 00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:08,075 I started doing some sessions. 300 00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:09,243 Uh-huh. 301 00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:11,912 Nice unicorn, man. 302 00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,290 Oh, yeah, I'm big-time into 'corns. 303 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,582 So magical, right? 304 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,960 You know, they're the most lethal animal on the planet. 305 00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:19,336 Here you go. 306 00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,505 Guys, my name's Lexi. 307 00:15:21,672 --> 00:15:22,881 Just let me know if you need anything. 308 00:15:23,132 --> 00:15:24,258 Okay. 309 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,803 I mean, like, anything at all. 310 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,638 - Okie-dokie. -(GIGGLES) 311 00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,975 You're funny. Do you ever, like, Snapchat? 312 00:15:33,142 --> 00:15:35,811 - Oh, no. You know-- - I wasn't talking to you. 313 00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:37,479 No, no, no. I don't do that. 314 00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:40,149 I'm just catching up with an old friend from high school. 315 00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:42,985 Aw. You're so sweet. 316 00:15:44,445 --> 00:15:45,821 I think unicorns are sexy, too. 317 00:15:48,324 --> 00:15:50,034 That must happen to you all the time, right? 318 00:15:50,451 --> 00:15:51,493 Ah, nah. 319 00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:53,829 I mean, all that meaningless sex is just-- 320 00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:55,622 It's not my bag anymore, CJ. 321 00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,168 No, now, I'm looking for more of an emotional connection. 322 00:15:59,335 --> 00:16:00,419 The next woman I lay with, 323 00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:02,338 she's gonna be beautiful on the inside, 324 00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:04,173 just as much as she is on the outside. 325 00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,133 Hey, wait. Whatever happened 326 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:07,509 to that girl that you liked in high school? 327 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,346 Oh, God, man. The "Doogie Howser" gm. 328 00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:12,348 She was 14, but somehow she was a senior. 329 00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:13,640 She wore a cape. 330 00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:16,602 - Darla McGuckian. - Darla McGuckian. 331 00:16:16,769 --> 00:16:18,520 -"Yucky Gucky." -(BOTH LAUGH) 332 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,190 - Didn't she have a lazy eye or something? - Two of 'em. 333 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:22,599 Right. 334 00:16:22,765 --> 00:16:23,766 Hey, but listen, I don't wanna talk about me. 335 00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:24,934 I wanna talk about you. 336 00:16:25,101 --> 00:16:26,394 I heard that you and Maggie Johnson got hitched. 337 00:16:26,561 --> 00:16:28,062 (LAUGHS) Oh, yeah. 338 00:16:28,271 --> 00:16:29,981 Yeah, man, right after college. 339 00:16:30,148 --> 00:16:33,526 Wow! The prettiest girl in school, and the coolest guy in school! 340 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:34,694 Oh, man, I got lucky. 341 00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,196 I mean, you guys are like a power couple, dude! 342 00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:37,864 - No,no. - Yes! 343 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,867 You're like Taylor Swift and whoever she's dating right now. 344 00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,495 - Power. - Thanks! 345 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,163 Yeah. You guys got kids? 346 00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:46,706 No. No kids yet. 347 00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,791 We planned on it after college, 348 00:16:48,958 --> 00:16:52,003 but Maggie went to law school, I kept changing jobs. 349 00:16:52,170 --> 00:16:55,548 You know, having kidsjust isn't in our cards right now. 350 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:56,716 Not at this point, that's all. 351 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:57,759 - Oh, okay. - Yeah. 352 00:16:58,172 --> 00:16:59,673 I got an idea. Let's do shots! 353 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:00,883 No! 354 00:17:01,050 --> 00:17:02,801 I'm sorry for saying it like that, but no. 355 00:17:02,968 --> 00:17:04,678 I haven't had shots in almost 10 years, man. 356 00:17:04,845 --> 00:17:07,056 What? Come on, we have to! We're celebrating! 357 00:17:08,057 --> 00:17:09,058 Celebrating what? 358 00:17:09,224 --> 00:17:11,393 Celebrating that I'm hanging with the coolest kid in high school. 359 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,395 - Stop it. - Calvin Joyner! 360 00:17:13,854 --> 00:17:15,731 The Golden Jet. 361 00:17:16,982 --> 00:17:19,693 You got to be shitting me. Wow! 362 00:17:20,402 --> 00:17:22,154 I haven't-- God! 363 00:17:22,738 --> 00:17:24,740 It's been forever since I heard that, man! 364 00:17:24,907 --> 00:17:25,908 - I'll do one. - All right! 365 00:17:26,075 --> 00:17:27,076 - One shot. - Shots! 366 00:17:27,242 --> 00:17:28,327 No. One shot. 367 00:17:28,494 --> 00:17:30,579 Just one, okay? Bob, it's been a while. 368 00:17:30,746 --> 00:17:31,747 ("JUMP AROUND" BY HOUSE OF PAIN PLAYING) 369 00:17:31,997 --> 00:17:33,040 Oh, shit! You remember this? 370 00:17:33,207 --> 00:17:34,750 This was the jammy-jam! 371 00:17:34,917 --> 00:17:36,919 What's that? Is that a fanny pack, Bob? 372 00:17:37,086 --> 00:17:38,587 Hell, yeah! Dude, you want one? 373 00:17:38,754 --> 00:17:40,089 No, it's okay. 374 00:17:40,255 --> 00:17:41,715 I got two at home. I'll hook you up. 375 00:17:41,882 --> 00:17:44,051 Leather pack for The Jet. 376 00:17:44,218 --> 00:17:45,260 Fanny! 377 00:17:45,427 --> 00:17:46,720 Shit. 378 00:17:47,346 --> 00:17:49,223 What the hell did I get myself into? 379 00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:51,392 Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm. 380 00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:54,436 Hey, sir, somebody's actually sitting there. 381 00:17:54,603 --> 00:17:56,772 - Yeah, someone was. - No! Hey, man! 382 00:17:57,106 --> 00:17:58,440 Hey, you don't see the sweatshirt right here? 383 00:17:58,607 --> 00:18:00,651 - Man, somebody's sitting here. - Move your meat, lose your seat. 384 00:18:01,235 --> 00:18:02,361 Dude, you don't have to be a dick about it. 385 00:18:02,528 --> 00:18:03,612 Somebody's sitting in the chair. 386 00:18:03,986 --> 00:18:06,697 Bro, are you seriously gonna go there, bro? 387 00:18:07,615 --> 00:18:09,575 'Cause there's only one way back, bro. 388 00:18:09,742 --> 00:18:11,869 Through intensive care, bro. 389 00:18:13,454 --> 00:18:15,789 Was that the last "bro"? 'Cause if it was, then I'll talk. 390 00:18:15,956 --> 00:18:17,208 That supposed to be funny? 391 00:18:17,374 --> 00:18:18,876 Hey, now! 392 00:18:19,668 --> 00:18:20,794 What's the rumpus? 393 00:18:20,961 --> 00:18:21,962 CALVIN: You know... There's no problem, man. 394 00:18:22,129 --> 00:18:24,215 Let's just go to another table. Get your jacket. Let's go. 395 00:18:24,757 --> 00:18:26,675 - No, we're not gonna go anywhere. - Listen to your pussy friend. 396 00:18:26,967 --> 00:18:29,386 Those gym muscles aren't scaring anybody, pal. 397 00:18:29,553 --> 00:18:31,639 - These? - Let's just go. It's okay. 398 00:18:31,805 --> 00:18:34,266 No, we're not gonna go. This man insulted you. 399 00:18:34,433 --> 00:18:36,227 And we're not gonna leave until he apologizes. 400 00:18:36,393 --> 00:18:38,479 - It's okay. - Hey, we got a problem here? 401 00:18:38,646 --> 00:18:40,648 - No,no. - Yeah, we got a big problem. 402 00:18:40,814 --> 00:18:43,484 Your friend, here, really insulted my friend 403 00:18:43,651 --> 00:18:44,652 and he needs to apologize. 404 00:18:44,818 --> 00:18:45,819 I don't think he does. 405 00:18:45,986 --> 00:18:46,987 CALVIN: He doesn't. 406 00:18:47,154 --> 00:18:48,989 You know what, man? 407 00:18:49,156 --> 00:18:51,408 I think this whole situation's getting a little out of control. 408 00:18:51,575 --> 00:18:52,743 I can fix this whole thing. 409 00:18:52,910 --> 00:18:55,246 I'll order some nachos. The "Explosions." 410 00:18:55,412 --> 00:18:57,790 It's got four cheeses! Let's eat 'em together. 411 00:18:57,957 --> 00:18:58,999 You know what? You take them. 412 00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:00,167 Let's go. 413 00:19:00,334 --> 00:19:01,502 Nah. We're not going anywhere, Jet. 414 00:19:01,669 --> 00:19:03,087 This whole thing will be over in a jiff. 415 00:19:03,254 --> 00:19:04,797 Hey, how about this? 416 00:19:04,964 --> 00:19:07,508 Why don't you and your boyfriend apologize to Big Rick here 417 00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:09,552 and then go jerk each other in the parking lot? 418 00:19:10,001 --> 00:19:10,960 That's a lot-- 419 00:19:11,127 --> 00:19:12,170 Yeah. You're right, CJ. 420 00:19:12,337 --> 00:19:14,964 That's a lot of homophobia coming out of a very angry man. 421 00:19:15,298 --> 00:19:17,634 You need to go get that looked at by a trained professional. 422 00:19:17,801 --> 00:19:20,011 But, since you have escalated this whole scenario 423 00:19:20,178 --> 00:19:21,638 by bringing what I can only assume 424 00:19:21,805 --> 00:19:24,182 is an unlicensed firearm into this public place, 425 00:19:24,349 --> 00:19:26,518 endangering the lives of all these innocent people, 426 00:19:26,684 --> 00:19:29,479 I can no longer, in good conscience, walk away 427 00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:31,356 and jerk anyone off in the parking lot. 428 00:19:31,523 --> 00:19:33,650 I'm afraid we ain't going anywhere. 429 00:19:33,817 --> 00:19:34,984 It's time for you to get out of here, pal. 430 00:19:35,193 --> 00:19:36,653 CALVIN: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 431 00:19:37,445 --> 00:19:39,280 There's four of us, tough guy. 432 00:19:40,031 --> 00:19:41,449 Yeah. I got that. 433 00:19:42,033 --> 00:19:43,535 All right. Before this whole thing goes down, 434 00:19:43,701 --> 00:19:44,786 you should know one thing about me. 435 00:19:44,953 --> 00:19:45,954 What's that? 436 00:19:49,874 --> 00:19:51,376 I don't like bullies. 437 00:19:52,377 --> 00:19:53,503 (SCREAMS) 438 00:19:54,170 --> 00:19:55,171 (GAGS) 439 00:19:56,381 --> 00:19:57,924 (GROANS) 440 00:20:00,885 --> 00:20:02,220 (BULLETS CLATTER) 441 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:03,888 Let's go, Jet. 442 00:20:04,973 --> 00:20:06,182 Yes. 443 00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:10,186 Oh, my God! I hope he's Catholic. 444 00:20:10,353 --> 00:20:11,396 (MEN GROANING) 445 00:20:13,189 --> 00:20:14,732 Oh, my God! 446 00:20:14,899 --> 00:20:16,359 What the hell was that? 447 00:20:16,526 --> 00:20:18,403 Bob, that was amazing! I've never seen anything like that! 448 00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:20,238 You took the one guy, you hit him like this. 449 00:20:20,405 --> 00:20:21,573 He couldn't breathe. (IMITATES CHOKING) 450 00:20:21,739 --> 00:20:23,157 I sat there, I'm looking at him... 451 00:20:23,324 --> 00:20:24,576 You talkin' to him like, "I don't like bullies." 452 00:20:24,742 --> 00:20:26,327 I was like, "That's not a good line." But it was! 453 00:20:26,494 --> 00:20:27,495 I didn't even know you could fight! 454 00:20:27,662 --> 00:20:30,415 You had a unicorn shirt, a fanny pack, and it totally worked! 455 00:20:30,582 --> 00:20:32,750 You were like Jason Bourne, man, but with jorts! 456 00:20:32,917 --> 00:20:35,253 How did you do that? Where'd you learn that stuff? 457 00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:37,255 I took a couple classes at work. 458 00:20:37,422 --> 00:20:38,756 I hope I didn't go too far. 459 00:20:38,923 --> 00:20:40,049 I'm sorry about ruining the night, Jet. 460 00:20:40,216 --> 00:20:43,094 Ruin my night? No! it was the coolest thing ever, man! 461 00:20:43,261 --> 00:20:44,679 'Really? 'Yes! 462 00:20:44,846 --> 00:20:47,140 To see my boy go in and whoop ass on those idiots back there. 463 00:20:47,307 --> 00:20:48,474 Dude, that was amazing! 464 00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:50,560 Wait, we're boys? 465 00:20:51,185 --> 00:20:52,270 Yeah, we boys. 466 00:20:53,938 --> 00:20:54,939 Wow. I... 467 00:20:56,858 --> 00:20:57,859 Never had a boy. 468 00:21:00,403 --> 00:21:02,697 - That's awesome! Come here! - Oh, wait. 469 00:21:03,698 --> 00:21:05,366 Stop. What's going on, man? 470 00:21:05,533 --> 00:21:07,118 - I'm a hugger! - What're you doing? 471 00:21:08,453 --> 00:21:11,539 Hey! I got an idea. Let's roll. Here's my bike. 472 00:21:12,790 --> 00:21:13,875 Wait. That's your bike? 473 00:21:14,042 --> 00:21:15,752 Yeah. Kawasaki 800! 474 00:21:15,919 --> 00:21:17,378 I know what the bike is. 475 00:21:17,545 --> 00:21:19,255 I had the same bike in high school, man. 476 00:21:19,422 --> 00:21:21,049 - You still ride? - No, man. 477 00:21:21,215 --> 00:21:22,216 I haven't ridden a bike in years! 478 00:21:22,383 --> 00:21:23,635 Come on, let's roll. 479 00:21:24,886 --> 00:21:26,137 (SIGHS) 480 00:21:26,804 --> 00:21:28,306 Where? Where you trying to go? 481 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,267 I know the perfect spot. Come on, Jet. 482 00:21:32,310 --> 00:21:33,811 You know, why not? Why not? 483 00:21:33,978 --> 00:21:36,147 After this-- Yeah, okay! 484 00:21:36,564 --> 00:21:37,649 BOB: Let's roll. 485 00:21:38,483 --> 00:21:39,484 -(TIRES SQUEAL) -(CAR HORN HONKING) 486 00:21:39,692 --> 00:21:42,820 CALVIN: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, Bob! Slow, slow, slow! 487 00:21:43,321 --> 00:21:44,489 Bob,hey,hey! 488 00:21:50,620 --> 00:21:53,665 God, this is so crazy, man. 489 00:21:53,831 --> 00:21:55,541 This brings back so many memories. 490 00:21:55,708 --> 00:21:56,709 (BOB SIGHS) 491 00:21:56,876 --> 00:21:57,961 BOB: I don't know, CJ. 492 00:21:58,127 --> 00:21:59,671 I mean, high school wasn't easy for me, man. 493 00:21:59,837 --> 00:22:00,838 I don't know if you know this, 494 00:22:01,005 --> 00:22:02,507 but I didn't have many friends back then. 495 00:22:03,299 --> 00:22:04,300 What? 496 00:22:04,884 --> 00:22:06,511 - Really? - No. 497 00:22:06,678 --> 00:22:07,720 I don't know why I thought-- 498 00:22:07,887 --> 00:22:09,180 True story. 499 00:22:09,347 --> 00:22:12,183 Man, I thought high school was gonna be like Sixteen Candles 500 00:22:12,350 --> 00:22:14,143 and I was gonna be like Molly Ringwald. 501 00:22:14,310 --> 00:22:15,311 Sure, things were difficult in the beginning, 502 00:22:15,478 --> 00:22:16,813 but then, by the end, 503 00:22:16,980 --> 00:22:18,189 everything worked out. 504 00:22:18,356 --> 00:22:20,441 And Jake Ryan picked her up in that red Porsche. 505 00:22:20,608 --> 00:22:21,693 What-what? 506 00:22:21,859 --> 00:22:22,860 You ever see that movie? 507 00:22:24,153 --> 00:22:26,197 I'm black, so I don't know the-- 508 00:22:26,364 --> 00:22:28,032 You gotta see it, dude. 509 00:22:28,199 --> 00:22:31,202 Total classic. It's my favorite all-time movie. 510 00:22:31,369 --> 00:22:34,497 Then I realized high school was nothing like Sixteen Candles. 511 00:22:35,707 --> 00:22:37,542 And I'll never be like Molly Ringwald. 512 00:22:39,544 --> 00:22:41,337 Yeah, well, depends on who you ask. 513 00:22:41,504 --> 00:22:43,047 That's the thing. For me, I-- 514 00:22:44,632 --> 00:22:45,717 What's going on? 515 00:22:46,926 --> 00:22:48,177 Oh, wow. 516 00:22:50,054 --> 00:22:51,639 Hey, man, I just wanna say that I'm really sorry 517 00:22:51,806 --> 00:22:54,225 about what Trevor and those guys did to you back then. 518 00:22:56,060 --> 00:22:57,729 (ECHOING LAUGHTER) 519 00:22:59,313 --> 00:23:00,857 (EXCLAIMS) 520 00:23:01,065 --> 00:23:03,860 No biggie. I don't even think about it anymore. No. 521 00:23:04,524 --> 00:23:05,692 Okay, good. 522 00:23:05,901 --> 00:23:07,569 Yeah. Here's the secret. You know what I did, Jet? 523 00:23:07,736 --> 00:23:10,155 I took all that stuff and I balled it up real tight 524 00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:12,824 and then I shoved it way down deep. 525 00:23:13,366 --> 00:23:15,368 And I just pretty much ignore it. 526 00:23:15,786 --> 00:23:18,538 You know, that sounds really unhealthy, Bob. 527 00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:20,081 Hey, I gotta tell you. 528 00:23:20,248 --> 00:23:21,875 You were the only one who helped me out that day. 529 00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:23,710 In the gym? Remember that? 530 00:23:23,877 --> 00:23:26,254 And you gave me your letterman's jacket! 531 00:23:26,421 --> 00:23:29,466 Hey, not for nothing, but I never got that jacket back, man. 532 00:23:29,925 --> 00:23:30,926 Huh! 533 00:23:31,176 --> 00:23:32,886 Really? Strange. 534 00:23:33,929 --> 00:23:35,138 Hey, but listen, I just wanna thank you 535 00:23:35,305 --> 00:23:36,389 for what you did for me that day. 536 00:23:36,556 --> 00:23:37,849 That was really cool of you, Jet. 537 00:23:38,016 --> 00:23:39,935 Stop, man. It was the right thing to do, you know? 538 00:23:40,101 --> 00:23:41,394 (BOTH CHUCKLES) 539 00:23:41,645 --> 00:23:43,980 - You wanna hear something weird? - What? 540 00:23:44,147 --> 00:23:45,857 I have not been naked since that day. 541 00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:47,359 I mean, not in front of anyone. 542 00:23:47,776 --> 00:23:48,819 Never. 543 00:23:48,985 --> 00:23:50,570 So, you're telling me that for the last 20 years, 544 00:23:50,737 --> 00:23:52,697 you've never been seen in your birthday suit? 545 00:23:52,864 --> 00:23:54,241 What about when you have sex? 546 00:23:54,407 --> 00:23:56,368 I keep it pitch-black, just like Vin Diesel. 547 00:23:56,701 --> 00:23:59,371 Hey, Bob, look, if you ever wanna talk, I'm here. 548 00:23:59,782 --> 00:24:01,326 So I don't mind, you know? 549 00:24:01,868 --> 00:24:02,911 I don't mind at all, if you wanna-- 550 00:24:03,077 --> 00:24:04,078 What? 551 00:24:05,455 --> 00:24:07,206 Whoa. (LAUGHS) 552 00:24:07,957 --> 00:24:10,293 This is all our stuff from our year! 553 00:24:10,460 --> 00:24:13,296 Yeah. Must be getting ready for the reunion tomorrow night. 554 00:24:13,463 --> 00:24:14,505 Come on, man. Let's get out of here. 555 00:24:14,672 --> 00:24:16,883 What? No! "Get out..." Look, you're all over this! 556 00:24:17,050 --> 00:24:20,386 Look at this. Basketball, baseball, cross country. 557 00:24:20,553 --> 00:24:21,804 Hamlet. 558 00:24:21,971 --> 00:24:22,972 Prom King. 559 00:24:23,139 --> 00:24:24,724 There's Darla McGuckian. 560 00:24:24,891 --> 00:24:26,768 Synchronized swimming, that's so sexy. 561 00:24:27,060 --> 00:24:29,520 This is like the Guinness Book of Golden Jet Records right there. 562 00:24:29,687 --> 00:24:30,688 (TAPS GLASS) 563 00:24:30,855 --> 00:24:32,106 I see that. 564 00:24:33,399 --> 00:24:35,735 To be honest with you, I don't even recognize this guy anymore. 565 00:24:36,444 --> 00:24:37,987 This guy, here, he was gonna... 566 00:24:38,154 --> 00:24:40,031 He was gonna conquer the world. 567 00:24:41,574 --> 00:24:43,201 If 18-year-old me could see me now, 568 00:24:43,368 --> 00:24:45,078 he'd probably think I was a total loser. 569 00:24:46,412 --> 00:24:48,247 What? That's crazy talk! 570 00:24:48,414 --> 00:24:49,958 - You're The Golden Jet, dude! - Stop. 571 00:24:50,124 --> 00:24:52,961 Stop, Bob. Spare me with The Golden Jet shit. 572 00:24:53,753 --> 00:24:55,838 I'm not The Golden Jet, man. I'm an accountant. 573 00:24:56,005 --> 00:24:57,382 That's my reality. 574 00:25:00,426 --> 00:25:03,346 (SIGHS) I just thought I was meant for more, you know? 575 00:25:04,013 --> 00:25:06,015 My life would be something special. 576 00:25:07,934 --> 00:25:10,603 You know how they say every man is the hero of his own story? 577 00:25:11,771 --> 00:25:12,855 Was that in Twilight? 578 00:25:13,523 --> 00:25:16,192 No, I don't think that's where it's from. 579 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,403 But those books are cool, right? Vampires! 580 00:25:18,569 --> 00:25:20,571 And there's a wolf-boy. 581 00:25:20,738 --> 00:25:25,535 I'm not... I'm not talking about Twilight, Bob, okay? 582 00:25:25,702 --> 00:25:26,869 I'm talking about the fact that I don't feel like 583 00:25:27,036 --> 00:25:28,788 I'm the hero of my own story. That's... 584 00:25:28,955 --> 00:25:30,581 How are you not the hero of your own story? 585 00:25:30,748 --> 00:25:32,166 No one else can be! 586 00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:34,085 Yo, CJ, I gotta be honest with you, man. 587 00:25:34,252 --> 00:25:35,795 I mean, all this talk about Calvin Joyner 588 00:25:35,962 --> 00:25:37,171 not feeling like he's a hero... 589 00:25:37,338 --> 00:25:38,881 That's crazy talk, man. 590 00:25:39,382 --> 00:25:40,967 No. No, it's not. 591 00:25:41,134 --> 00:25:42,719 You were the best thing about high school. 592 00:25:43,219 --> 00:25:44,554 I'll always believe in you. 593 00:25:44,721 --> 00:25:47,015 Yo, do you remember those backflips you used to do? 594 00:25:47,807 --> 00:25:49,434 The crowd would go crazy! I was there, too. 595 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,602 I was, like, "What? How's he do that?" 596 00:25:51,769 --> 00:25:52,812 How did you do that? 597 00:25:54,689 --> 00:25:56,399 I don't know. I just did it, man. 598 00:25:56,899 --> 00:25:58,067 Exactly. 599 00:25:58,234 --> 00:25:59,235 So, do it now. 600 00:26:00,111 --> 00:26:03,031 No, no. You're crazy! No. 601 00:26:03,364 --> 00:26:04,407 What's that? 602 00:26:04,574 --> 00:26:05,616 What're you talking about? What's what? 603 00:26:05,783 --> 00:26:07,368 -(SOFTLY) Golden Jet! - No, stop it. 604 00:26:07,535 --> 00:26:09,287 - Golden Jet! - Okay, stop it! 605 00:26:09,454 --> 00:26:10,997 - Golden Jet! - All right. 606 00:26:11,164 --> 00:26:12,457 Golden Jet! 607 00:26:12,623 --> 00:26:15,501 I'm not gonna stop until you do The Golden Jet flip! 608 00:26:15,668 --> 00:26:16,669 Golden Jet! 609 00:26:16,836 --> 00:26:19,047 All right, everybody, settle down. Settle down! 610 00:26:19,213 --> 00:26:21,758 If the crowd wants a Golden Jet flip, 611 00:26:21,924 --> 00:26:23,634 then they gonna get a Golden Jet flip. 612 00:26:23,801 --> 00:26:24,886 You go, girl! 613 00:26:27,722 --> 00:26:30,808 (GROANS) on, God! 614 00:26:30,975 --> 00:26:32,351 That was so close, Jet. 615 00:26:32,769 --> 00:26:33,770 (GROANS) 616 00:26:33,936 --> 00:26:34,937 Here, buddy. Come on. 617 00:26:36,147 --> 00:26:37,690 They must have just waxed these floors. 618 00:26:39,984 --> 00:26:41,736 That was definitely a first, man. 619 00:26:41,903 --> 00:26:42,904 (BOB LAUGHS) 620 00:26:43,196 --> 00:26:44,614 Oh, man, lam beat. 621 00:26:45,198 --> 00:26:46,199 Oh. 622 00:26:48,201 --> 00:26:49,243 Hey, Jet! 623 00:26:49,494 --> 00:26:52,830 Man, I had a great time tonight. 624 00:26:52,997 --> 00:26:53,998 Whoa! 625 00:26:54,624 --> 00:26:56,626 You know what? I had a good time, too, man. 626 00:26:56,793 --> 00:26:58,211 I feel like I needed this, you know? 627 00:26:58,377 --> 00:27:00,588 Yeah. Yeah. Me, too! 628 00:27:01,089 --> 00:27:02,090 Thank you. 629 00:27:02,298 --> 00:27:04,717 My pleasure, amigo. Any time. 630 00:27:04,884 --> 00:27:08,262 Hey, if there's ever anything I can do for you, just say the word. 631 00:27:08,429 --> 00:27:10,932 Wow. You really mean that? 632 00:27:11,474 --> 00:27:12,517 Yeah. 633 00:27:12,683 --> 00:27:15,478 I wasn't gonna bring it up, but I might as well. 634 00:27:15,645 --> 00:27:18,773 Lately, I've been having this problem with my payroll account. And... 635 00:27:19,524 --> 00:27:20,650 It's all screwed up, somehow. 636 00:27:20,983 --> 00:27:24,237 You know, I was overseas working for a while before I got fired. 637 00:27:24,403 --> 00:27:27,323 So, it's kinda like a forensic international account thingy 638 00:27:27,490 --> 00:27:30,701 which, I think, is kind of your specialty, right? 639 00:27:31,744 --> 00:27:32,745 Um... 640 00:27:33,162 --> 00:27:36,958 Yeah, no, it is. I'll take a look at that for you. 641 00:27:37,125 --> 00:27:38,292 You would? You would do that for me? 642 00:27:38,459 --> 00:27:41,003 I've got the login info, if you wanna crack open your computer, 643 00:27:41,170 --> 00:27:42,421 we can do this! 644 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,423 Oh, you mean now? 645 00:27:44,590 --> 00:27:46,717 - That's awesome! Yeah! - Okay. 646 00:27:46,884 --> 00:27:48,553 - Look at this! - Hey, Bob-- 647 00:27:48,719 --> 00:27:49,762 - Whoa! -(SHUSHING) 648 00:27:49,929 --> 00:27:51,139 Bob, you gotta keep your voice down! 649 00:27:51,305 --> 00:27:52,431 (SOFTLY) Maggie's sleeping. 650 00:27:53,599 --> 00:27:54,600 Wow. 651 00:27:55,226 --> 00:27:58,479 This is a pretty serious international account dossier you've got here. 652 00:27:58,646 --> 00:28:01,774 Right? I just want to make sure everything was hunky-dory. 653 00:28:02,358 --> 00:28:04,068 (MUMBLING) 654 00:28:06,154 --> 00:28:07,947 Going to your router. 655 00:28:08,114 --> 00:28:10,533 Now you're talking to me. 656 00:28:12,034 --> 00:28:14,120 Bingo. I'm in. 657 00:28:14,620 --> 00:28:16,914 Oh. That's great, Jet. Thank you, man! 658 00:28:20,626 --> 00:28:22,628 I mean, just looking at it first-hand, 659 00:28:22,795 --> 00:28:26,090 it kinda looks like it's a bunch of off-shore escrow accounts. 660 00:28:26,257 --> 00:28:27,800 These have been backwashed into 661 00:28:27,967 --> 00:28:31,012 a series of domestic dummy accounts for some reason. 662 00:28:31,179 --> 00:28:33,764 I mean, the logs are all crazy, too. You have China, 663 00:28:34,557 --> 00:28:35,975 Syria, Iran. 664 00:28:37,476 --> 00:28:38,811 This is an auction site, Bob! 665 00:28:38,978 --> 00:28:39,979 (MUMBLES) 666 00:28:40,146 --> 00:28:41,731 These are bids. All of these. 667 00:28:41,898 --> 00:28:44,483 This is hundreds of millions of dollars in bids, right here. 668 00:28:44,650 --> 00:28:46,068 And judging by this clock, here, 669 00:28:46,235 --> 00:28:47,528 it says it's all gonna end tomorrow. 670 00:28:47,862 --> 00:28:48,905 -(COMPUTER BEEPS) - Whoa! 671 00:28:49,071 --> 00:28:52,116 - What the hell? Why? - What did-- 672 00:28:52,283 --> 00:28:53,701 - Oh! I'm sorry, Jet! - Bob! 673 00:28:53,868 --> 00:28:56,537 Jet, I'm so sorry! Oh, man. 674 00:28:56,704 --> 00:28:58,998 - I'm all thumbs. -It's my computer! 675 00:28:59,165 --> 00:29:00,708 - I'm sorry. - No! Please, Bob. 676 00:29:00,875 --> 00:29:02,084 - I'm sorry, Jet. - Leave it. I got it. 677 00:29:02,251 --> 00:29:04,629 It's fine, Bob. It's fine. Just leave it. 678 00:29:04,795 --> 00:29:05,963 The worst! 679 00:29:06,214 --> 00:29:07,381 God! 680 00:29:07,798 --> 00:29:10,176 Hey! What the hell was that on that site? 681 00:29:10,343 --> 00:29:11,886 That didn't have anything to do with payroll. 682 00:29:12,428 --> 00:29:14,430 I don't know. I've never seen that before. 683 00:29:14,597 --> 00:29:15,598 That was crazy. 684 00:29:15,765 --> 00:29:18,017 Let's figure it out tomorrow when we're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 685 00:29:18,184 --> 00:29:20,519 What do you say, CJ? I am beat. 686 00:29:21,312 --> 00:29:22,647 Hey, do you mind if I crash here? 687 00:29:23,522 --> 00:29:24,774 Um... 688 00:29:25,858 --> 00:29:26,859 No. 689 00:29:28,402 --> 00:29:30,279 Let me go grab some blankets. 690 00:29:35,076 --> 00:29:37,370 Hey, thanks for the jammies, Jet. 691 00:29:38,663 --> 00:29:41,290 Okay, well, you can keep those. 692 00:29:41,457 --> 00:29:43,251 Those are-- Those are officially yours. 693 00:29:44,710 --> 00:29:46,087 Yeah. 694 00:29:46,963 --> 00:29:48,756 - All right. - Oh. 695 00:29:49,590 --> 00:29:51,050 You gonna sleep with your fanny pack. 696 00:29:51,217 --> 00:29:54,136 Golden Jet! Yeah, it's my baby. 697 00:30:01,602 --> 00:30:02,603 (EXHALES) 698 00:30:05,731 --> 00:30:08,943 You need anything else? You're okay? 699 00:30:10,903 --> 00:30:14,323 I can't believe I'm having a sleepover at Calvin Joyner's house right now. 700 00:30:14,490 --> 00:30:16,993 This is blowing my mind! (LAUGHS) 701 00:30:18,452 --> 00:30:19,453 Okay. 702 00:30:20,037 --> 00:30:21,038 Uh, good night, Bob. 703 00:30:22,039 --> 00:30:23,165 Good night, Jet. 704 00:30:28,004 --> 00:30:29,005 (FABRIC TEARING) 705 00:30:34,719 --> 00:30:37,388 (SNORING) 706 00:30:42,934 --> 00:30:43,935 - Me? -(BOB SNORING) 707 00:30:44,645 --> 00:30:45,812 Yeah, you. 708 00:30:51,902 --> 00:30:54,279 - What the hell? -(KNOCK ON DOOR) 709 00:30:55,906 --> 00:30:57,157 One second. 710 00:31:00,619 --> 00:31:01,620 (KNOCKING CONTINUES) 711 00:31:01,870 --> 00:31:03,080 Hold on. 712 00:31:07,542 --> 00:31:08,585 Uh, may I help you? 713 00:31:08,752 --> 00:31:10,253 Mr. Joyner, my name is Pamela Harris, 714 00:31:10,420 --> 00:31:12,714 I'm with the Central Intelligence Agency. 715 00:31:12,881 --> 00:31:15,217 Have you had any contact with this man? 716 00:31:15,842 --> 00:31:18,470 Uh, yeah, he's on my-- He's on my couch, sleeping. 717 00:31:18,637 --> 00:31:19,638 Target's in the house. 718 00:31:19,805 --> 00:31:22,015 What's going on? Hey! 719 00:31:22,182 --> 00:31:24,643 Excuse me. Excuse me! 720 00:31:28,230 --> 00:31:29,231 AGENT STAN: (INTO COMM) Target's fled. 721 00:31:30,065 --> 00:31:31,149 Shit. 722 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:32,484 Target's on the move. 723 00:31:32,651 --> 00:31:33,735 Excuse me! What... 724 00:31:37,948 --> 00:31:39,741 Hello, hey! Excuse me! 725 00:31:39,950 --> 00:31:41,993 -...and voice chatter in the vicinity. - CALVIN: Hello! Excuse me! 726 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,371 If he's in the wind again, it's gonna be your ass. Go now. 727 00:31:44,538 --> 00:31:46,498 - Hello! - Alert Langley, asset uncontained. 728 00:31:46,665 --> 00:31:48,750 - Excuse me! - Can I help you? 729 00:31:49,126 --> 00:31:51,378 Hello! It's my house. ls something going on? 730 00:31:51,545 --> 00:31:53,964 Well, Mr. Joyner, your sleepover buddy, Robert Wheirdicht 731 00:31:54,256 --> 00:31:56,216 is wanted for murder and treason 732 00:31:56,425 --> 00:31:59,052 and is presently in possession of highly classified state secrets 733 00:31:59,219 --> 00:32:00,637 which he intends to sell to our enemies. 734 00:32:00,887 --> 00:32:01,888 You mind? 735 00:32:03,345 --> 00:32:05,931 Creamer's in the fridge. What? 736 00:32:06,098 --> 00:32:07,599 I don't need it. 737 00:32:07,766 --> 00:32:09,643 What I do need is information. 738 00:32:09,810 --> 00:32:12,646 I need you to tell me everything and anything 739 00:32:12,813 --> 00:32:14,565 about your contact with Agent Stone. 740 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,026 - Agent Stone? - Bob, your friend Bob. 741 00:32:18,193 --> 00:32:19,987 Come on. Stay with me, please. 742 00:32:21,071 --> 00:32:23,240 Okay, I think there's a misunderstanding. 743 00:32:23,407 --> 00:32:25,576 No. No, he is not my friend. 744 00:32:25,742 --> 00:32:27,369 Then why did he list you as his emergency contact 745 00:32:27,536 --> 00:32:28,662 in all his personnel forms? 746 00:32:28,954 --> 00:32:30,038 I'm sorry-- He what? 747 00:32:30,205 --> 00:32:32,708 Bob Stone has no siblings, or parents, or family of any kind. 748 00:32:33,041 --> 00:32:34,168 You are the only person 749 00:32:34,334 --> 00:32:36,503 he listed in his personal references. 750 00:32:36,712 --> 00:32:37,963 On... (STAMMERS) 751 00:32:38,130 --> 00:32:40,549 That's crazy, all right? I barely even know the guy. 752 00:32:40,716 --> 00:32:42,009 Then why was he sleeping on your couch? 753 00:32:42,176 --> 00:32:43,343 Because we went out and had drinks last night. 754 00:32:43,510 --> 00:32:45,137 Oh, so you went out drinking with your non-friend? 755 00:32:46,346 --> 00:32:47,347 Okay. 756 00:32:47,972 --> 00:32:49,349 All right, let's-- You're not-- 757 00:32:49,849 --> 00:32:50,892 Time out. 758 00:32:51,059 --> 00:32:52,477 I'm pressing the time out button. 759 00:32:52,643 --> 00:32:56,064 Okay? You guys barged in my house. I pay my taxes. 760 00:32:56,356 --> 00:32:59,525 So you're not gonna come here and treat me like I'm the enemy, okay? 761 00:32:59,692 --> 00:33:01,778 That's the first thing. Now, if you want to get into facts-- 762 00:33:02,070 --> 00:33:03,571 You wanna talk about facts? 763 00:33:03,738 --> 00:33:04,739 This is Facebook's fault. 764 00:33:05,031 --> 00:33:06,616 He sent me a friend request. 765 00:33:06,783 --> 00:33:08,242 That's how this whole thing started. 766 00:33:08,409 --> 00:33:09,494 And you accepted? 767 00:33:10,203 --> 00:33:11,954 Don't do that. Don't do that to me. 768 00:33:12,121 --> 00:33:15,458 You give me a second. Okay? Don't fire back like that. 769 00:33:15,625 --> 00:33:17,752 First of all, fuck Mark Zuckerberg, all right? 770 00:33:17,919 --> 00:33:20,254 Now, I accepted because it was Facebook. 771 00:33:20,421 --> 00:33:21,631 And it's rude when you don't accept it 772 00:33:21,798 --> 00:33:22,924 and I don't know if the person on the other end 773 00:33:23,091 --> 00:33:25,385 can see me not accept it. That's why I accepted. 774 00:33:25,551 --> 00:33:27,011 Are you nervous, Mr. Joyner? 775 00:33:27,345 --> 00:33:28,388 Is it hot? 776 00:33:28,554 --> 00:33:30,473 Are you getting hot? Because I'm getting hot. 777 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:31,933 I'm not gonna take off my jacket 778 00:33:32,100 --> 00:33:33,684 because that makes me look guilty. 779 00:33:33,851 --> 00:33:36,312 And that's what you guys look for. Hmm? 780 00:33:36,687 --> 00:33:39,023 Is this what a guilty man would do? 781 00:33:39,315 --> 00:33:41,567 Look how comfortable I am. 782 00:33:41,734 --> 00:33:44,737 Mr. Joyner, your friend Bob Stone is a dangerous psychotic. 783 00:33:44,904 --> 00:33:47,073 - You're lucky to be alive. - Okay, listen to me. 784 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,992 This man is not, I repeat to you, 785 00:33:50,159 --> 00:33:53,746 he is not, not, my friend! 786 00:33:53,913 --> 00:33:55,581 Zero allegiance. 787 00:33:56,624 --> 00:33:58,751 All right, Mr. Joyner. Prove it. 788 00:33:59,750 --> 00:34:01,376 Yeah, well, I need a second. 789 00:34:01,543 --> 00:34:04,046 You gotta step outside. I gotta take a shit. 790 00:34:04,212 --> 00:34:05,380 This is a lot. 791 00:34:05,547 --> 00:34:07,883 I got to go. Just give me a second, man! 792 00:34:08,675 --> 00:34:10,635 - I'll be waiting. - Jesus Christ! 793 00:34:17,434 --> 00:34:18,435 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 794 00:34:21,012 --> 00:34:23,806 All teams be advised, we're Oscar Mike with the bait. 795 00:34:23,973 --> 00:34:25,391 I'm sorry, did you just call me "the bait"? 796 00:34:25,558 --> 00:34:26,601 No. 797 00:34:26,767 --> 00:34:27,852 Yeah, you did. She just called me the bait. 798 00:34:28,019 --> 00:34:29,020 Why am I the bait? 799 00:34:29,186 --> 00:34:30,688 No, that doesn't sound like something I'd ever say. 800 00:34:30,855 --> 00:34:33,024 - You just said it. - What's going on here? 801 00:34:33,190 --> 00:34:34,775 Sir, I'm gonna need you to step aside. 802 00:34:34,942 --> 00:34:37,111 - This is a matter of national security. -(LAUGHS) 803 00:34:37,403 --> 00:34:38,613 Yeah, right! I love it. 804 00:34:38,779 --> 00:34:41,198 What is this? Like a strippergram thing to suck up to Ethan? 805 00:34:41,365 --> 00:34:42,825 Gotta love strippers. So dirty. 806 00:34:42,992 --> 00:34:44,910 Show us your tits! Show us your tits! 807 00:34:45,077 --> 00:34:47,788 (SINGSONG) Hey, let's see some titty! 808 00:34:47,955 --> 00:34:49,206 -(TASER CRACKLES) {GROANS) 809 00:34:49,415 --> 00:34:50,416 -(ALL GASPING) {THUDS) 810 00:34:50,875 --> 00:34:53,002 - This you? - Yeah, right here. 811 00:34:53,169 --> 00:34:54,670 You did this to yourself. 812 00:34:54,837 --> 00:34:55,838 (GROANING) 813 00:34:59,967 --> 00:35:02,303 - Small. - Yeah. 814 00:35:03,763 --> 00:35:05,640 (PHONE RINGS) 815 00:35:10,936 --> 00:35:12,438 Calvin Joyner, Accounting. 816 00:35:15,103 --> 00:35:17,272 Hello? Calvin Joyner, Accounting. 817 00:35:18,023 --> 00:35:19,024 BOB: Calvin? 818 00:35:22,402 --> 00:35:24,488 (MOUTHING) It's Bob! It's Bob! 819 00:35:24,654 --> 00:35:25,864 (MOUTHING) Act natural. 820 00:35:26,031 --> 00:35:28,158 BOB". Calvin. Is that you? 821 00:35:28,325 --> 00:35:29,493 Are you there? 822 00:35:30,202 --> 00:35:32,412 Well, hey. Well, yeah. 823 00:35:33,330 --> 00:35:35,165 Yeah, wassup? 824 00:35:35,999 --> 00:35:38,543 What up, Bobby-o? 825 00:35:38,710 --> 00:35:40,921 Are you quite well? 826 00:35:41,088 --> 00:35:42,172 I'm in big trouble. 827 00:35:42,339 --> 00:35:44,591 Oh, God! I screwed up. I screwed up big time. 828 00:35:44,758 --> 00:35:46,885 We gotta talk. Can you meet me? 829 00:35:47,052 --> 00:35:49,221 Sure. Yeah. Where? Where do you want me to meet you? 830 00:35:49,387 --> 00:35:50,972 I'm in the stairwell of your building, two flights down. 831 00:35:51,807 --> 00:35:53,016 - Stairwell? - Hurry! 832 00:35:54,434 --> 00:35:56,478 - He's in the stairwell, two flights down! - Move, move! 833 00:35:56,645 --> 00:35:57,729 Alert Charlie team. 834 00:35:57,979 --> 00:35:59,898 Hold on. What's going on? Am I safe here? 835 00:36:00,065 --> 00:36:01,817 As long as Bob Stone is in the building, no one's safe. 836 00:36:01,983 --> 00:36:03,860 Get back in your office now! 837 00:36:08,490 --> 00:36:09,699 Okay! 838 00:36:09,866 --> 00:36:11,910 Good news is we heard her, guys. 839 00:36:12,202 --> 00:36:15,080 So, everybody, let's all just stay calm. 840 00:36:15,247 --> 00:36:17,666 As long as-- As long-- Shit! 841 00:36:20,710 --> 00:36:22,671 What the hell is going on? 842 00:36:22,838 --> 00:36:24,005 - Relax. - Hey. 843 00:36:24,172 --> 00:36:25,841 Great job at getting them out of here, Jet. 844 00:36:26,007 --> 00:36:27,175 - Oh, Bob! - That's teamwork! 845 00:36:27,509 --> 00:36:29,094 Wait! How did you-- What did you just do? 846 00:36:29,261 --> 00:36:30,470 It's a tradecraft, buddy. 847 00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:32,013 Spoiler alert... 848 00:36:32,180 --> 00:36:33,306 I'm in the CIA. 849 00:36:33,473 --> 00:36:34,558 Oh, no shit! 850 00:36:34,724 --> 00:36:35,976 Hey, hey! What're you doing with my phone? 851 00:36:36,143 --> 00:36:37,894 You about to turn my phone into a bomb, aren't you? 852 00:36:38,186 --> 00:36:40,230 I've seen Homeland. So I know what they do. 853 00:36:40,522 --> 00:36:43,024 (LAUGHS) Homeland? No, I'm ordering us an Uber. 854 00:36:43,191 --> 00:36:45,026 Six minutes. That's kinda tight. 855 00:36:45,902 --> 00:36:47,529 I'm gonna need your tie. 856 00:36:48,113 --> 00:36:49,239 You're gonna-- No! 857 00:36:49,406 --> 00:36:50,615 - Your necktie, take it off. - No, 858 00:36:50,782 --> 00:36:52,325 - I'm not taking my tie off! - Come on, Jet! 859 00:36:52,492 --> 00:36:53,994 - Don't do that. Don't do that. -(LAUGHS) 860 00:36:54,161 --> 00:36:55,287 That's good. Save it, save it, save it. 861 00:36:55,453 --> 00:36:56,788 Save it, Jet. 862 00:36:56,955 --> 00:36:58,790 - There we go, just right over here. - Fine, take it, take it. 863 00:36:58,957 --> 00:37:01,710 You can have it. Okay, that-- Listen to me. Listen. 864 00:37:01,877 --> 00:37:02,919 Stop. Stop! 865 00:37:03,086 --> 00:37:05,088 I need to know what is happening, right now. 866 00:37:05,255 --> 00:37:07,257 Okay, okay. You know what? Moving too fast. 867 00:37:07,424 --> 00:37:10,594 Bottom line, are you in or you out? 868 00:37:11,386 --> 00:37:12,596 What are you-- In or out of what? 869 00:37:12,762 --> 00:37:15,223 Mmm-mmm. No time for questions, just action. 870 00:37:15,390 --> 00:37:17,475 - In or out? - Okay, then I'm out. 871 00:37:18,101 --> 00:37:20,103 I'm sorry, Jet. Actually, you're already in. 872 00:37:20,270 --> 00:37:21,730 Then why would you ask me? 873 00:37:21,897 --> 00:37:23,690 Because I thought you would go, "I'm in, Bob!" 874 00:37:23,857 --> 00:37:25,108 And we would've had a really cool moment, 875 00:37:25,275 --> 00:37:26,693 but you kinda ruined the whole thing. 876 00:37:26,860 --> 00:37:27,861 I ruined-- 877 00:37:28,028 --> 00:37:29,112 Okay, okay, Okay- 878 00:37:29,279 --> 00:37:30,697 Listen to me right now. 879 00:37:30,864 --> 00:37:32,449 Bob, I don't know what it is that you're into 880 00:37:32,616 --> 00:37:34,034 but what I do know is that 881 00:37:34,201 --> 00:37:38,079 I am really, really 100% out! 882 00:37:38,246 --> 00:37:39,247 Do you understand that? 883 00:37:39,414 --> 00:37:41,666 - God, you are good! (LAUGHS) - What? 884 00:37:41,833 --> 00:37:44,628 Calvin Joyner, president of the Drama Club for a reason, folks! 885 00:37:44,794 --> 00:37:47,505 - You're like a snack-size Denzel. - Okay. Stop it, stop it, stop it. 886 00:37:48,506 --> 00:37:49,925 This is not a game. 887 00:37:50,091 --> 00:37:51,593 I'm being serious right now. 888 00:37:52,260 --> 00:37:53,261 I'm out! 889 00:37:55,847 --> 00:37:57,057 Okay. Okay. 890 00:37:57,224 --> 00:37:59,309 I can't say I'm not disappointed, Jet, 891 00:38:00,143 --> 00:38:01,436 but if you're out, you're out. 892 00:38:01,603 --> 00:38:03,480 Thank you! I'm out! 893 00:38:03,647 --> 00:38:05,607 I'm just happy that we can communicate 894 00:38:05,774 --> 00:38:07,400 openly and honestly. 895 00:38:07,567 --> 00:38:10,528 I think it says a lot about our relationship. 896 00:38:10,695 --> 00:38:13,031 Wait, hold up, wait. What're you doing? Oh, my God! 897 00:38:13,198 --> 00:38:14,241 Here's the thing, though. 898 00:38:14,407 --> 00:38:15,909 There's only one way for you to get out. 899 00:38:16,076 --> 00:38:17,202 What's that? 900 00:38:17,369 --> 00:38:18,578 You gotta get in first. 901 00:38:18,745 --> 00:38:20,080 What is it that-- 902 00:38:20,247 --> 00:38:21,539 What-what! Take my gun, Jet, 903 00:38:21,706 --> 00:38:23,250 we may have to kill some people. 904 00:38:23,416 --> 00:38:25,543 - Come on, it's not gonna bite you. - I will do no such thing. 905 00:38:25,710 --> 00:38:26,711 I think you'll like it. 906 00:38:26,878 --> 00:38:28,213 - I will not! - You're gonna need it. 907 00:38:29,172 --> 00:38:31,633 You're gonna need it! He's in here! 908 00:38:31,841 --> 00:38:32,842 Jet. 909 00:38:33,009 --> 00:38:35,553 He's in there! Bob's in there! 910 00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:38,014 He's got a gun! He's got a gun! 911 00:38:38,265 --> 00:38:39,683 (PEOPLE SCREAM) 912 00:38:40,183 --> 00:38:41,893 - Down, down, get down! - Move, move, move! 913 00:38:42,644 --> 00:38:43,728 All right. I'm gonna need your improv skills. 914 00:38:43,895 --> 00:38:44,896 What? 915 00:38:45,063 --> 00:38:47,524 Jiostage r0 - No! We“ ready? 916 00:38:47,774 --> 00:38:49,317 - Sweet, let's go. - No, I said no! 917 00:38:49,484 --> 00:38:50,652 I said no! 918 00:38:50,819 --> 00:38:52,237 AGENT: He's got a hostage! 919 00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:54,281 No! 920 00:38:54,447 --> 00:38:56,283 No! Stop it, you gonna get me killed! 921 00:38:57,867 --> 00:38:59,035 Don't shoot! 922 00:39:06,126 --> 00:39:07,627 (AGENTS COUGHING) 923 00:39:11,414 --> 00:39:12,415 There we go, Jet! 924 00:39:14,041 --> 00:39:15,042 (GASPS) 925 00:39:17,879 --> 00:39:19,088 (SCREAMS) 926 00:39:21,507 --> 00:39:23,551 - Hang tight, Jet! - No, I'm not doing anything! 927 00:39:23,718 --> 00:39:25,344 Stop including me in your stuff! 928 00:39:26,971 --> 00:39:28,598 Get him, Agent! Hit him with the stick! 929 00:39:31,893 --> 00:39:33,060 (GROANING) 930 00:39:34,562 --> 00:39:35,563 He got a coffee pot! 931 00:39:36,022 --> 00:39:37,023 (SCREAMS) 932 00:39:41,444 --> 00:39:42,445 (GROANS) 933 00:39:53,331 --> 00:39:54,332 He got a banana! 934 00:39:59,253 --> 00:40:00,796 Oh! Oh! 935 00:40:01,839 --> 00:40:02,965 Freeze! 936 00:40:03,674 --> 00:40:04,675 (BONE CRACKING) 937 00:40:14,306 --> 00:40:16,016 Jet, help! (CHOKING) 938 00:40:16,225 --> 00:40:17,226 What? 939 00:40:18,227 --> 00:40:20,396 (STRAINING) Golden Jet, help. 940 00:40:20,562 --> 00:40:21,688 No, man, I'm not helping you! 941 00:40:24,733 --> 00:40:25,734 Oh, shit. 942 00:40:26,276 --> 00:40:27,569 - Give me the gun! - Stop it! 943 00:40:27,736 --> 00:40:29,071 - Stop resisting! - No, let me go! 944 00:40:32,825 --> 00:40:34,827 Let me go! I'm trying to give it to you! 945 00:40:37,871 --> 00:40:39,123 Oh, shit! 946 00:40:39,289 --> 00:40:40,499 - That was an accident! - Don't move! 947 00:40:40,666 --> 00:40:41,917 No, stop! Listen to me! 948 00:40:44,586 --> 00:40:45,671 Let's go. 949 00:40:46,422 --> 00:40:47,798 Wait, wait! Come on! What are you-- Ah! 950 00:40:48,549 --> 00:40:49,758 Come on, man! 951 00:40:49,925 --> 00:40:51,885 This has gotta stop! Okay? 952 00:40:52,094 --> 00:40:53,429 (WHIMPERS) 953 00:40:53,804 --> 00:40:54,847 Shit! 954 00:40:55,848 --> 00:40:57,558 (CALVIN SCREAMS) 955 00:40:59,351 --> 00:41:00,602 Don't shoot! 956 00:41:01,687 --> 00:41:03,522 - Oh, God! - Show us your hands! 957 00:41:03,689 --> 00:41:05,149 - Drop your weapon! - Do it now! 958 00:41:13,824 --> 00:41:14,825 Ow. 959 00:41:15,617 --> 00:41:16,618 Sorry, Jet. 960 00:41:16,785 --> 00:41:18,871 It's over, Bob. Give up. 961 00:41:19,037 --> 00:41:20,622 You know I can't do that, Pam. 962 00:41:20,789 --> 00:41:22,624 There's nowhere to run, Agent Stone. 963 00:41:23,250 --> 00:41:24,460 Just like Caracas. 964 00:41:25,085 --> 00:41:28,964 Uh, Caracas would've worked if you trusted me like Calvin trusts me. 965 00:41:29,131 --> 00:41:30,299 No. No. 966 00:41:30,466 --> 00:41:32,217 That is not true. I do not trust him! 967 00:41:32,384 --> 00:41:34,470 I do not trust him at all. As a matter of fact, 968 00:41:34,636 --> 00:41:36,013 this is a perfect time for us to clear this up 969 00:41:36,180 --> 00:41:38,182 especially in the middle of this standoff. I shouldn't be here! 970 00:41:38,348 --> 00:41:40,893 So I feel like me being in the middle of this throws me in it. 971 00:41:41,059 --> 00:41:42,394 So let me exclude myself. 972 00:41:42,561 --> 00:41:44,271 - Hey, stay down! - Don't move! 973 00:41:44,438 --> 00:41:47,107 Okay, all right. I'll stay in. I'll stay in. 974 00:41:48,358 --> 00:41:49,318 I got a plan. 975 00:41:50,142 --> 00:41:51,310 Might get us both killed 976 00:41:51,476 --> 00:41:53,145 but if it works, it'll be a totally boss story. 977 00:41:53,312 --> 00:41:54,313 Cool? 978 00:41:54,479 --> 00:41:56,398 - No! No, it's not cool! - Cool. 979 00:41:56,565 --> 00:41:57,733 No, I said it's not cool. 980 00:41:57,900 --> 00:41:59,401 (SOFTLY) I said it's not cool! 981 00:41:59,568 --> 00:42:00,736 Time's up. 982 00:42:01,445 --> 00:42:02,571 You're right, Pam. 983 00:42:03,322 --> 00:42:04,364 My time is up. 984 00:42:04,531 --> 00:42:06,617 In three, two, 985 00:42:07,409 --> 00:42:08,410 ODE. 986 00:42:09,995 --> 00:42:10,996 (ALARM RINGS) 987 00:42:16,126 --> 00:42:18,170 Bob,Bob,Bob! 988 00:42:18,670 --> 00:42:21,173 (SCREAMING) Whoa, whoa, whoa! 989 00:42:21,757 --> 00:42:23,008 Oh, shit! 990 00:42:23,717 --> 00:42:24,718 Whoa-hem.! 991 00:42:26,887 --> 00:42:28,597 -(CALVIN SCREAMS) -(BOB WHOOPING) 992 00:42:40,317 --> 00:42:41,318 (BOB LAUGHS) 993 00:42:41,693 --> 00:42:43,445 Wow! Did you feel that, Jet? 994 00:42:43,612 --> 00:42:45,739 That was the balls right there! 995 00:42:48,367 --> 00:42:50,494 (SCREAMING) 996 00:42:51,662 --> 00:42:52,663 CALVIN: Get if Off! 997 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,164 You guys order an Uber? 998 00:42:54,331 --> 00:42:55,582 (GUN FIRING) 999 00:42:56,875 --> 00:42:58,043 What are you doing? 1000 00:42:58,794 --> 00:43:00,128 You better get your tuches in the car. 1001 00:43:00,295 --> 00:43:01,296 You're gonna get shot! 1002 00:43:01,463 --> 00:43:02,631 Don't shoot me! Shoot him! 1003 00:43:02,798 --> 00:43:05,300 Shoot him! I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! 1004 00:43:05,467 --> 00:43:07,594 Let me in! Let me in! Let me in! Go, Bob! 1005 00:43:12,599 --> 00:43:14,768 Put the word out to all assets. 1006 00:43:14,935 --> 00:43:16,520 I'm doubling the price on Bob's head. 1007 00:43:16,893 --> 00:43:18,478 Hey, what the shit, honey-- (GROANS) 1008 00:43:18,728 --> 00:43:19,729 (THUD5) 1009 00:43:20,063 --> 00:43:21,439 Get Larry on it. 1010 00:43:26,736 --> 00:43:27,779 Car, car, car! 1011 00:43:28,404 --> 00:43:30,156 All right, here's the dilly-o, Jet. 1012 00:43:30,323 --> 00:43:31,949 About three weeks ago, an enemy of the state 1013 00:43:32,116 --> 00:43:33,326 codenamed "The Black Badger" 1014 00:43:33,493 --> 00:43:36,454 stole the encryption keys to the entire US spy satellite program 1015 00:43:36,621 --> 00:43:37,747 which he's gonna sell to a buyer 1016 00:43:37,914 --> 00:43:39,665 from that auction site on your computer last night. 1017 00:43:39,832 --> 00:43:40,875 Bob... 1018 00:43:41,042 --> 00:43:42,085 If we lose control of our satellites, 1019 00:43:42,251 --> 00:43:45,046 we're completely vulnerable to any terrorist attacks. 1020 00:43:45,213 --> 00:43:47,131 That's why I had to go back to your office and get you, Jet. 1021 00:43:47,298 --> 00:43:49,050 I need your super sweet accounting skills 1022 00:43:49,217 --> 00:43:51,135 to help me figure out the last piece of this puzzle 1023 00:43:51,302 --> 00:43:53,554 which is the transaction number from the winning bid. 1024 00:43:53,721 --> 00:43:55,598 That'll tell us where the deal is going down. 1025 00:43:57,475 --> 00:43:59,602 That way, we can get The Black Badger. 1026 00:43:59,936 --> 00:44:00,937 I can't do it without you, Jet. 1027 00:44:01,469 --> 00:44:02,470 Stop the car. 1028 00:44:02,637 --> 00:44:04,555 You stop the car right now! Stop the car! 1029 00:44:04,722 --> 00:44:06,599 Okay, okay. That's a great idea, Jet. 1030 00:44:06,766 --> 00:44:08,351 We should get off the grid right now. 1031 00:44:09,727 --> 00:44:11,520 CALVIN: Whoa! 1032 00:44:16,359 --> 00:44:18,486 All right. We're clear. 1033 00:44:24,367 --> 00:44:25,534 Okay. 1034 00:44:25,993 --> 00:44:28,162 Okay. Let's just take some deep breaths. 1035 00:44:28,329 --> 00:44:29,830 Okay? Deep breaths. 1036 00:44:30,790 --> 00:44:33,334 All you gotta do is get out of this car 1037 00:44:33,501 --> 00:44:35,544 and have a rational conversation with Bob 1038 00:44:35,711 --> 00:44:37,129 and he'll understand. 1039 00:44:45,846 --> 00:44:48,683 Robert, I would like to go home now, please. 1040 00:44:48,849 --> 00:44:50,559 Buddy, you and me both. 1041 00:44:50,726 --> 00:44:52,937 But until we clear our names, there's no going home. 1042 00:44:53,104 --> 00:44:55,314 I'm sorry, can you clarify that last sentence for me? 1043 00:44:55,481 --> 00:44:56,774 Yeah, well, now that you're in-- 1044 00:44:56,941 --> 00:44:59,026 Let me stop you right there. I'm not in. 1045 00:44:59,193 --> 00:45:00,861 I never said that I was in. 1046 00:45:01,028 --> 00:45:03,823 In fact, I expressly remember saying that I was out! 1047 00:45:03,989 --> 00:45:05,074 I know, but they think you're in. 1048 00:45:05,616 --> 00:45:06,617 I am... 1049 00:45:07,159 --> 00:45:09,078 I'm freaking out! I'm out! 1050 00:45:09,245 --> 00:45:10,246 - What's left to tell? - Hey, no, I get it. 1051 00:45:10,413 --> 00:45:12,039 - I'm not in! - I'm just saying they think you're in. 1052 00:45:12,206 --> 00:45:15,167 - I'm not in! lam not in! - I get it. 1053 00:45:15,376 --> 00:45:17,420 I'm not in! I'm out! 1054 00:45:17,586 --> 00:45:20,047 One sec, Jet, just gotta disable the GPS. 1055 00:45:20,506 --> 00:45:21,507 Where did you-- 1056 00:45:21,966 --> 00:45:23,342 You wanna go under-- That's fine! 1057 00:45:23,750 --> 00:45:24,626 Wait a minute. 1058 00:45:24,793 --> 00:45:25,794 You did this on purpose, didn't you? 1059 00:45:27,170 --> 00:45:29,464 This whole thing was done on purpose. 1060 00:45:29,631 --> 00:45:31,174 This is your plan! 1061 00:45:31,341 --> 00:45:33,051 You tricked me! 1062 00:45:33,218 --> 00:45:35,512 It's fine, but I know you tricked me. 1063 00:45:35,679 --> 00:45:37,097 - Trick you? - You tricked-- Hey, boy! 1064 00:45:37,264 --> 00:45:39,391 - What? What'd you just-- -(LAUGHS) 1065 00:45:39,558 --> 00:45:40,642 I didn't trick you, you offered to help me. 1066 00:45:41,143 --> 00:45:42,686 You know what's funny? Harris told me. 1067 00:45:42,853 --> 00:45:44,271 She told me everything, man. 1068 00:45:44,438 --> 00:45:45,981 She told me that you stole the codes. 1069 00:45:46,148 --> 00:45:47,941 Let me tell you something about Harris. You can't trust her. 1070 00:45:48,108 --> 00:45:50,319 She's already trying to frame me for my partner's murder! 1071 00:45:50,736 --> 00:45:52,446 - You killed your partner? - No. 1072 00:45:52,613 --> 00:45:53,614 I would never do that. 1073 00:45:53,780 --> 00:45:55,324 The Black Badger killed my partner. 1074 00:45:55,490 --> 00:45:57,367 Let me explain to you something, dude. This is what happened. 1075 00:45:58,702 --> 00:46:00,954 After The Black Badger stole the satellite encryption codes, 1076 00:46:01,121 --> 00:46:04,708 my partner Phil and I tracked him to a penthouse in Kiev. 1077 00:46:04,875 --> 00:46:06,001 - Hey, Phil. - Yeah. 1078 00:46:06,627 --> 00:46:07,836 I'll see you on the other side. 1079 00:46:09,129 --> 00:46:10,631 See you on the other side. 1080 00:46:11,965 --> 00:46:13,467 All right. 1081 00:46:13,634 --> 00:46:15,135 God, I love that guy. 1082 00:46:15,302 --> 00:46:16,678 BOB: He knew we were coming, so he set a trap. 1083 00:46:16,845 --> 00:46:18,847 Hey,Bob!Bob! 1084 00:46:19,014 --> 00:46:20,098 No! 1085 00:46:20,265 --> 00:46:22,768 BOB: Phil was my partner, my teammate 1086 00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:25,312 -and I couldn't save him. - No! 1087 00:46:25,479 --> 00:46:26,480 (EXPLOSION) 1088 00:46:28,148 --> 00:46:29,691 it was awful, Cal. 1089 00:46:29,858 --> 00:46:31,318 It was a setup, right from the get-go. 1090 00:46:32,903 --> 00:46:33,946 Damn, man. 1091 00:46:34,488 --> 00:46:35,656 The Black Badger was never there. 1092 00:46:35,822 --> 00:46:38,116 I should've been the one on that elevator, not Phil. 1093 00:46:38,575 --> 00:46:39,618 God. 1094 00:46:39,826 --> 00:46:42,204 Okay. Bob, please... 1095 00:46:42,371 --> 00:46:44,623 I'm begging you, man. Can you just let me go home? 1096 00:46:44,790 --> 00:46:46,291 CJ, I totally understand. 1097 00:46:46,458 --> 00:46:48,251 But right now, Agent Harris and her taskforce 1098 00:46:48,418 --> 00:46:50,128 has that place surveilled up the yin-yang. 1099 00:46:50,295 --> 00:46:51,880 She's got contract killers looking for us. 1100 00:46:52,047 --> 00:46:53,298 Your place isn't safe. 1101 00:46:53,465 --> 00:46:55,133 Oh, my God. Maggie. 1102 00:46:55,300 --> 00:46:57,511 Maggie! What the hell am I supposed to do about Maggie? 1103 00:46:59,972 --> 00:47:01,181 -(SHOUTS) Get down, Jet! -(CALVIN SCREAMS) 1104 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:11,858 - Shit! Oh! -(ENGINE REVS) 1105 00:47:12,818 --> 00:47:13,819 Look out, Bob! 1106 00:47:22,953 --> 00:47:24,454 (SCREAMS AND GROANS) 1107 00:47:25,831 --> 00:47:28,375 Who the hell is that? Who is that? Bob? 1108 00:47:28,542 --> 00:47:29,793 Oh, shit. 1109 00:47:35,048 --> 00:47:36,049 Larry. 1110 00:47:39,136 --> 00:47:40,429 Thought you retired. 1111 00:47:40,595 --> 00:47:41,596 I did. 1112 00:47:42,139 --> 00:47:44,266 But you're worth a lot of money, Bob, dead or alive. 1113 00:47:44,516 --> 00:47:46,977 Well, tough luck, because I've got back up. 1114 00:47:47,144 --> 00:47:48,228 Ain't that right, Jet? 1115 00:47:51,106 --> 00:47:52,107 Jet! 1116 00:47:52,816 --> 00:47:53,817 (GROANS) 1117 00:48:11,126 --> 00:48:12,669 (PHONE RINGING) 1118 00:48:14,504 --> 00:48:16,840 Hey, baby. I know. I'm sorry I'm late. 1119 00:48:17,007 --> 00:48:19,092 The stupid Koplin deposition ran long. 1120 00:48:19,259 --> 00:48:21,261 I'm leaving right now. I'll meet you at the house. 1121 00:48:21,428 --> 00:48:22,637 No, no, no! Don't go home! 1122 00:48:22,804 --> 00:48:24,431 - Don't go home! - Why? What's going on? 1123 00:48:24,598 --> 00:48:27,350 Nothing! Nothing. I'm just running late, too. 1124 00:48:27,517 --> 00:48:29,936 So I was gonna say let's just meet at Dr. Dan's office. 1125 00:48:31,188 --> 00:48:33,148 Yeah. Okay. ls everything all right? 1126 00:48:33,315 --> 00:48:35,609 Yeah! Yeah. Why? 1127 00:48:35,776 --> 00:48:37,027 Everything's fine. 1128 00:48:37,194 --> 00:48:39,362 Because you kind of sound like Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas. 1129 00:48:39,613 --> 00:48:40,906 (LAUGHS) What? 1130 00:48:42,074 --> 00:48:44,201 That's so funny, babe. That's such a good reference. 1131 00:48:44,367 --> 00:48:46,161 That's classic Mags right there. 1132 00:48:46,328 --> 00:48:49,122 So, okay. So you're not gonna go home, right? 1133 00:48:49,289 --> 00:48:50,540 Okay, fine. I won't go home. 1134 00:48:50,707 --> 00:48:52,084 I'll meet you at Dr. Dan's. See you soon. 1135 00:48:52,250 --> 00:48:53,376 Okay. All right, bye. 1136 00:48:53,543 --> 00:48:54,586 All right, bye. 1137 00:49:17,692 --> 00:49:18,693 Get in. 1138 00:49:36,086 --> 00:49:39,798 (STAMMERING) I'm gonna address the elephant in the room. 1139 00:49:39,965 --> 00:49:43,260 Okay, first of all, you... 1140 00:49:43,426 --> 00:49:46,263 You guys, I want to say sorry to. 1141 00:49:46,429 --> 00:49:49,975 Because what you're probably thinking is not what happened. 1142 00:49:50,142 --> 00:49:51,184 Accidents! 1143 00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:52,602 I know you're like, 1144 00:49:52,769 --> 00:49:54,104 "How can you accidentally pistol-whip somebody 1145 00:49:54,271 --> 00:49:55,272 "and shoot somebody?" 1146 00:49:55,438 --> 00:49:56,439 it can happen. 1147 00:49:56,606 --> 00:50:00,277 Okay? Today is proof that it can happen. So... 1148 00:50:00,443 --> 00:50:02,279 I'm glad I got to get that off my chest. 1149 00:50:02,779 --> 00:50:04,489 Relax, Mr. Joyner. I believe you. 1150 00:50:04,656 --> 00:50:06,533 Okay, thank you. 1151 00:50:06,700 --> 00:50:09,286 Trust me, I know a scared-shitless civilian when I see one. 1152 00:50:09,452 --> 00:50:10,704 You don't have to convince me. 1153 00:50:10,871 --> 00:50:13,623 You got him over here. That is me. 1154 00:50:13,790 --> 00:50:15,625 Right now, I'm not comfortable. 1155 00:50:15,792 --> 00:50:17,502 Okay, I am scared, okay? 1156 00:50:17,669 --> 00:50:20,046 I don't have no shit in my system. 1157 00:50:20,213 --> 00:50:22,174 If I sat down on a toilet, nothing's coming out. 1158 00:50:22,340 --> 00:50:23,508 Farts or just air. 1159 00:50:23,758 --> 00:50:24,801 (SLOW WHISTLES) 1160 00:50:25,010 --> 00:50:27,012 (HISSING) 1161 00:50:30,140 --> 00:50:31,391 It'd sound like lasers. 1162 00:50:31,558 --> 00:50:32,976 Thank you for that description. 1163 00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:35,312 Mr. Joyner, let me explain something. 1164 00:50:35,478 --> 00:50:36,730 Bob's last forced psych eval 1165 00:50:36,897 --> 00:50:39,816 show a person rapidly losing his grip on reality. 1166 00:50:39,983 --> 00:50:41,526 Bob became obsessed with a ghost, 1167 00:50:41,985 --> 00:50:43,195 a figment of his imagination, 1168 00:50:43,361 --> 00:50:44,988 he started calling "The Black Badger." 1169 00:50:45,155 --> 00:50:47,157 This obsession led to an instability, 1170 00:50:47,324 --> 00:50:49,993 first reported by his partner, Phil, three weeks ago. 1171 00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:52,662 Just before Phil was killed in the field. 1172 00:50:52,829 --> 00:50:54,039 Do you know how Phil died? 1173 00:50:54,206 --> 00:50:57,000 Yeah, Bob told me that The Black Badger killed him. 1174 00:51:01,213 --> 00:51:02,255 What? 1175 00:51:03,173 --> 00:51:04,174 What? 1176 00:51:04,341 --> 00:51:08,094 Mr. Joyner, Bob Stone is The Black Badger. 1177 00:51:08,720 --> 00:51:11,223 Phil was Bob's partner of six years. 1178 00:51:11,389 --> 00:51:12,390 His best friend. 1179 00:51:12,599 --> 00:51:14,851 - See you on the other side. - See you on the other side. 1180 00:51:15,852 --> 00:51:17,354 Hey,Bob! 1181 00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:19,773 AGENT HARRIS: After he stole the satellite encryption codes 1182 00:51:19,940 --> 00:51:21,107 Bob betrayed Phil. 1183 00:51:21,274 --> 00:51:22,275 No! 1184 00:51:23,026 --> 00:51:25,695 He killed him to cover his tracks. 1185 00:51:29,699 --> 00:51:32,786 And, after that, Bob went rogue. 1186 00:51:33,036 --> 00:51:34,746 This is all that's left Of Phil. 1187 00:51:38,333 --> 00:51:41,044 Um, this is PornHub. 1188 00:51:41,795 --> 00:51:44,714 Oh, shit, shit, shit. Sorry. 1189 00:51:45,548 --> 00:51:46,549 There you go. 1190 00:51:47,175 --> 00:51:50,470 Oh! Oh, God! Oh, I didn't see that coming. 1191 00:51:51,221 --> 00:51:52,347 (BREATH ES HEAVILY) Oh, man! 1192 00:51:53,807 --> 00:51:55,976 - It's a hell of a way to go. - Okay, wait a minute. 1193 00:51:56,142 --> 00:51:58,478 Why wouldn't Bob just go sell the satellite encryption codes himself? 1194 00:51:58,645 --> 00:52:00,438 Because in a black market blind-bidding situation, 1195 00:52:00,605 --> 00:52:02,232 the buyer and the seller, they don't know each other. 1196 00:52:02,399 --> 00:52:04,776 They need the auction site to tell them exactly where to meet up 1197 00:52:04,943 --> 00:52:06,069 and when to make the exchange. 1198 00:52:06,653 --> 00:52:09,739 The transaction number from the auction site gives them that, 1199 00:52:09,906 --> 00:52:11,908 which means Bob still needs you. 1200 00:52:12,909 --> 00:52:13,910 Which is why we find ourselves 1201 00:52:14,077 --> 00:52:16,371 in a little catch-and-release scenario. 1202 00:52:16,579 --> 00:52:18,623 You are the only one Bob trusts. 1203 00:52:19,416 --> 00:52:20,834 That's why we're putting you in the field. 1204 00:52:21,001 --> 00:52:22,877 The next time you're with Bob, 1205 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:25,588 press this button. 1206 00:52:25,755 --> 00:52:27,090 We're going to have him cold. 1207 00:52:33,388 --> 00:52:35,181 Now, go take care of your marriage. 1208 00:52:35,348 --> 00:52:38,268 One more thing. Don't tell your wife shit. 1209 00:52:39,436 --> 00:52:40,729 All right. 1210 00:52:42,647 --> 00:52:43,815 MAGGIE: I just don't know what's wrong. 1211 00:52:43,982 --> 00:52:45,525 I mean, the man that I married, 1212 00:52:45,692 --> 00:52:47,736 the person I knew in high school, 1213 00:52:47,902 --> 00:52:52,032 he was filled with drive and desire. I mean... 1214 00:52:52,198 --> 00:52:53,491 We used to sneak off every lunch hour 1215 00:52:53,658 --> 00:52:55,118 and make out under the gym bleachers. 1216 00:52:55,285 --> 00:52:57,245 Like, that guy, back then, 1217 00:52:57,412 --> 00:52:59,581 -he wanted things, you know? - DR. DAN". Hmm. 1218 00:52:59,748 --> 00:53:02,042 Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. I couldn't find parking. 1219 00:53:02,208 --> 00:53:04,002 Hi, no, no, it's okay. We got started without you. 1220 00:53:04,169 --> 00:53:06,046 Babe, Calvin, this is Dr. Dan. 1221 00:53:06,463 --> 00:53:07,547 Hello, Calvin. 1222 00:53:07,714 --> 00:53:09,841 - Oh, shit! - Oh, jeez. What's the matter? 1223 00:53:10,008 --> 00:53:12,260 - Holy shit! Get behind me! - Honey... Calvin, what? 1224 00:53:12,427 --> 00:53:14,721 It's okay, Maggie. It's okay. Just relax. 1225 00:53:14,888 --> 00:53:17,182 This is a very common reaction in the therapeutic process. 1226 00:53:17,349 --> 00:53:18,350 -It is? - What? 1227 00:53:18,516 --> 00:53:19,517 It is. It absolutely is. 1228 00:53:19,684 --> 00:53:22,771 Calvin, this is a very safe place. Please, sit down. 1229 00:53:22,937 --> 00:53:24,731 - This is not a safe place! - No, no, no. Honey, it's a... 1230 00:53:24,898 --> 00:53:26,399 No, this is most definitely not a safe place! 1231 00:53:26,566 --> 00:53:28,360 Me and my wife are leaving. Let's go. 1232 00:53:28,526 --> 00:53:30,487 No, no, no! You are going to sit down, 1233 00:53:30,653 --> 00:53:33,615 and we are going to go through this therapeutic process... 1234 00:53:33,782 --> 00:53:35,658 - Yes. -...together, as a couple. 1235 00:53:36,242 --> 00:53:38,078 Um... Fine, fine, fine. 1236 00:53:38,244 --> 00:53:39,704 Sit down. Thank you. 1237 00:53:39,871 --> 00:53:40,914 Fine. 1238 00:53:41,081 --> 00:53:44,834 Okay, guys. Why don't we start off with a little bit of word association? 1239 00:53:45,001 --> 00:53:46,044 Okay. 1240 00:53:46,211 --> 00:53:47,212 This is exciting. 1241 00:53:47,379 --> 00:53:49,339 I've heard this can really open a couple up. 1242 00:53:50,090 --> 00:53:53,468 Uh, Maggie, I'm going to offer you a word, 1243 00:53:53,635 --> 00:53:57,514 and you respond however you're moved to from here. 1244 00:53:57,680 --> 00:53:58,723 Okay. 1245 00:53:58,890 --> 00:54:00,141 - Black. - White. 1246 00:54:00,308 --> 00:54:01,768 - Water. - Ocean. 1247 00:54:01,935 --> 00:54:04,187 - Sunshine. - HaPPY- 1248 00:54:04,813 --> 00:54:07,315 - I'm very impressed, Maggie. - Really? 1249 00:54:07,482 --> 00:54:08,733 You're very in tune. 1250 00:54:09,317 --> 00:54:10,693 I'm very in tune. 1251 00:54:10,860 --> 00:54:12,946 Calvin, you're next. 1252 00:54:13,113 --> 00:54:14,781 I do not want to do this. 1253 00:54:15,115 --> 00:54:17,617 Relax, Calvin. There are no wrong answers. 1254 00:54:17,784 --> 00:54:18,785 Up. 1255 00:54:20,453 --> 00:54:21,496 Down. 1256 00:54:22,122 --> 00:54:23,123 Mmm. 1257 00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:25,208 "Mmm." What is that? 1258 00:54:25,617 --> 00:54:26,451 What're you writing in your book? 1259 00:54:26,618 --> 00:54:27,953 -It's fine. Don't freak out. - Nobody's freaking out. 1260 00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:29,788 I just don't understand the rules to the game. 1261 00:54:29,955 --> 00:54:31,081 Freaking out. 1262 00:54:31,248 --> 00:54:33,041 Let's switch gears for a second, okay? 1263 00:54:33,208 --> 00:54:36,503 Why don't we try a simple role-playing exercise? 1264 00:54:36,670 --> 00:54:38,505 Calvin, you be Calvin 1265 00:54:38,672 --> 00:54:41,049 and I will become Maggie. 1266 00:54:41,425 --> 00:54:42,884 (GASPS) Mmm. 1267 00:54:43,427 --> 00:54:44,803 I'm confused. 1268 00:54:49,433 --> 00:54:51,184 It's called "soul gazing." 1269 00:54:51,351 --> 00:54:54,980 Stare into my soul and I'll stare into yours. 1270 00:54:55,689 --> 00:54:57,566 - Maggie, this-- - Hey. Shh. 1271 00:54:57,732 --> 00:54:59,818 There's no talking, and don't look away. 1272 00:54:59,985 --> 00:55:01,361 (WHISPERS) Stare into my soul. 1273 00:55:01,860 --> 00:55:02,945 You are not my-- 1274 00:55:03,112 --> 00:55:04,154 Shh. There's no talking. 1275 00:55:04,655 --> 00:55:06,198 Babe, I'm not staring-- 1276 00:55:06,657 --> 00:55:09,660 (WHISPERS) Me and you. Stay with me. I'm your wife. 1277 00:55:09,827 --> 00:55:11,495 - You are not my wife. -(BOTH EXCLAIMING) 1278 00:55:11,662 --> 00:55:12,663 (GASPS) 1279 00:55:13,998 --> 00:55:15,374 How could you hit your wife? 1280 00:55:15,958 --> 00:55:17,209 How can I-- How can I what? 1281 00:55:17,376 --> 00:55:18,961 - You hit your wife! _NQ__ 1282 00:55:19,128 --> 00:55:20,129 - He hit me! - Okay. 1283 00:55:20,296 --> 00:55:21,297 - He hit you! - Okay. 1284 00:55:21,463 --> 00:55:22,715 You hit us! 1285 00:55:27,344 --> 00:55:29,054 - I'm swaddling you. - I know what you're doing. 1286 00:55:29,221 --> 00:55:30,598 - I'm swaddling you. - I know what you're... 1287 00:55:30,764 --> 00:55:31,765 Come here. 1288 00:55:32,308 --> 00:55:33,475 Oh, my God! 1289 00:55:33,934 --> 00:55:34,935 You-- 1290 00:55:36,061 --> 00:55:38,480 You know what? We're leaving! Let's go! 1291 00:55:38,981 --> 00:55:40,608 This is not real. 1292 00:55:40,774 --> 00:55:42,318 It's real to me. 1293 00:55:42,484 --> 00:55:43,694 You know what, Calvin? 1294 00:55:43,861 --> 00:55:45,988 If you can't commit to working on our marriage, 1295 00:55:46,155 --> 00:55:47,781 then you need to let me know. 1296 00:55:47,948 --> 00:55:49,283 - Maggie, you-- -(DOOR OPENS) 1297 00:55:50,117 --> 00:55:51,201 (CHUCKUNG) 1298 00:55:51,577 --> 00:55:53,203 - What! - Oh, my God! 1299 00:55:53,370 --> 00:55:54,496 You're-- Something's not right. 1300 00:55:54,705 --> 00:55:57,666 Come on, Jet, listen. Come on, come on, Jet! 1301 00:55:57,833 --> 00:55:59,793 Now, I know things got a little rough there at the end. 1302 00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:02,212 But the truth is, with all the heat that you have coming down on you, 1303 00:56:02,379 --> 00:56:04,298 Maggie is definitely safer without you. 1304 00:56:05,382 --> 00:56:07,635 And, trust me, when this whole thing is said and done 1305 00:56:07,801 --> 00:56:09,345 and you basically save the entire free world, 1306 00:56:09,511 --> 00:56:11,930 she's going to forgive you. It'll all work itself out. 1307 00:56:12,097 --> 00:56:13,515 It'll all work itself out? 1308 00:56:14,308 --> 00:56:16,226 Okay, Bob, you know, I'm sick of playing games with you. 1309 00:56:16,393 --> 00:56:17,811 Where's the real Dr. Dan? 1310 00:56:18,562 --> 00:56:19,647 -(MUMBLING) - What-what? 1311 00:56:19,813 --> 00:56:22,733 Oh, my-- Dr. Dan, I had nothing to do with this. 1312 00:56:22,900 --> 00:56:24,193 He's fine. I'll get you some water in a little bit. 1313 00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:26,612 - Thanks,doc. - You know-- 1314 00:56:26,862 --> 00:56:28,781 That's it. That is it. 1315 00:56:28,947 --> 00:56:30,616 That is it. 1316 00:56:31,992 --> 00:56:33,035 All right, Jet. 1317 00:56:33,202 --> 00:56:35,204 I see that Harris has given you a button to push. 1318 00:56:36,163 --> 00:56:38,749 Relax, I would've taken the same deal, too, if I was in your shoes. 1319 00:56:38,916 --> 00:56:41,251 Otherwise, she wouldn't let you out of her sight, right? 1320 00:56:41,418 --> 00:56:42,836 It makes perfect sense. 1321 00:56:44,046 --> 00:56:45,714 But you're not going to press the button, right? 1322 00:56:47,091 --> 00:56:49,134 You got the top-secret satellite codes? 1323 00:56:49,677 --> 00:56:50,928 Yes or no? 1324 00:56:51,095 --> 00:56:52,888 This ain't the time to bullshit me. 1325 00:56:53,055 --> 00:56:54,765 Okay, my ass is sweating. 1326 00:56:54,932 --> 00:56:56,183 I'm nervous. Don't bullshit me! 1327 00:56:56,350 --> 00:56:58,435 Of course not, dude. Hey, hey, come on! 1328 00:56:58,602 --> 00:56:59,937 Of course I don't have the codes. 1329 00:57:00,104 --> 00:57:01,563 Why would I go through all this trouble, then? 1330 00:57:01,730 --> 00:57:03,982 I need your skill set, Jet, to help me get 1331 00:57:04,149 --> 00:57:06,235 the bank transaction numbers to the winning bid. 1332 00:57:06,402 --> 00:57:08,070 We already know it's going down tonight 1333 00:57:08,237 --> 00:57:09,613 from the countdown on your computer. 1334 00:57:09,780 --> 00:57:11,240 Now, all we need is the "where." 1335 00:57:11,699 --> 00:57:13,867 And the bank transaction numbers will give us the "where." 1336 00:57:14,034 --> 00:57:15,244 That's why I need you. 1337 00:57:15,411 --> 00:57:16,745 Your job gives you access to 1338 00:57:16,912 --> 00:57:18,664 exactly that kind of information. 1339 00:57:18,831 --> 00:57:20,916 Then we can get The Badger, we can get the buyer 1340 00:57:21,083 --> 00:57:22,167 in one fell swoop. 1341 00:57:22,334 --> 00:57:24,044 And it'll all be over tonight. 1342 00:57:24,253 --> 00:57:25,462 Please, I swear. 1343 00:57:25,629 --> 00:57:27,089 You gotta believe me. 1344 00:57:36,974 --> 00:57:39,059 Can't you just get us the transaction number? 1345 00:57:39,435 --> 00:57:41,729 Not when the money originates from an offshore account. 1346 00:57:41,895 --> 00:57:42,896 When that happens, 1347 00:57:43,063 --> 00:57:45,232 then only a certified international banking official can access it. 1348 00:57:45,399 --> 00:57:47,484 But, it shouldn't be a problem. We just give this guy 1349 00:57:47,651 --> 00:57:49,403 the offshore account numbers that you gave me, 1350 00:57:49,570 --> 00:57:51,029 then he can give us the transaction number 1351 00:57:51,196 --> 00:57:53,365 without knowing that he's committing treason when he does it. 1352 00:57:53,532 --> 00:57:54,742 Sound familiar? 1353 00:57:54,908 --> 00:57:56,952 Ouch! Low blow, CJ. 1354 00:57:57,119 --> 00:57:59,037 Hey, besides, it's only treason if we're wrong. 1355 00:57:59,204 --> 00:58:00,539 Who's this mystery man? 1356 00:58:01,915 --> 00:58:02,916 It's Trevor. 1357 00:58:03,500 --> 00:58:04,752 (LAUGHING) 1358 00:58:07,629 --> 00:58:08,756 Trevor. 1359 00:58:11,550 --> 00:58:13,135 TREVOR: This week just keeps getting better. 1360 00:58:13,385 --> 00:58:14,595 You know, I mean, 1361 00:58:14,928 --> 00:58:18,265 Robbie Wheirdicht and Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner in my office. 1362 00:58:18,432 --> 00:58:20,392 Who would've thunk it? Not me. 1363 00:58:20,559 --> 00:58:22,394 This is great, huh? 1364 00:58:22,561 --> 00:58:24,563 Talk about caterpillar to the butterfly... 1365 00:58:24,730 --> 00:58:26,648 What is this? P90X? 1366 00:58:26,815 --> 00:58:29,693 More like "P1,000,000X," huh? 1367 00:58:29,860 --> 00:58:31,403 Congratulations. 1368 00:58:31,862 --> 00:58:33,322 CALVIN: (STAMMERS) Hey, I, um-- 1369 00:58:33,489 --> 00:58:34,907 I really appreciate the help, Trevor. 1370 00:58:35,073 --> 00:58:37,326 My client's all on me to get this stuff handled right away. 1371 00:58:37,493 --> 00:58:38,660 So, you know, if we could-- 1372 00:58:38,827 --> 00:58:40,746 Say no more. It's my pleasure. I've been there. 1373 00:58:40,913 --> 00:58:42,414 These international accounts can be very, very tricky 1374 00:58:42,581 --> 00:58:43,624 if you don't have the right clearances. 1375 00:58:43,791 --> 00:58:45,584 You can get a bunch of digital red tape. 1376 00:58:45,959 --> 00:58:47,920 I'm happy to help, you know? 1377 00:58:48,086 --> 00:58:49,129 Robbie. 1378 00:58:49,296 --> 00:58:51,089 You're such a blast from the past, buddy. 1379 00:58:51,256 --> 00:58:52,257 How long has it been since I saw you? 1380 00:58:52,424 --> 00:58:53,425 Was it high school? 1381 00:58:54,468 --> 00:58:55,469 (WHIMPERING) 1382 00:58:56,428 --> 00:58:57,429 What's that? 1383 00:58:57,596 --> 00:59:00,057 (STUTTERS) Um-- How we doing with those account access codes? 1384 00:59:00,224 --> 00:59:01,225 - Are they coming? - TREVOR: It's coming. 1385 00:59:01,391 --> 00:59:02,643 - Everything's good? - It's coming. 1386 00:59:02,810 --> 00:59:05,229 I'm going as fast as I can. I know you guys are in a rush. I'm so sorry. 1387 00:59:05,395 --> 00:59:07,439 Anything for a couple of fellow Centaurs. 1388 00:59:07,606 --> 00:59:10,359 Speaking of which, you guys are going to the reunion tonight, right? 1389 00:59:12,359 --> 00:59:14,111 No, I don't think so. 1390 00:59:14,278 --> 00:59:15,446 - You're both going. -(COMPUTER CHIMES) 1391 00:59:15,613 --> 00:59:17,323 Here it is. Here's your transaction number. 1392 00:59:17,489 --> 00:59:19,033 You're both going because you want to know what? 1393 00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:21,243 They're going to vote on homecoming king and queen again. 1394 00:59:21,410 --> 00:59:22,828 Maybe you and Maggie can make it two for two. 1395 00:59:23,329 --> 00:59:25,456 Now, before you go, stay seated one second. 1396 00:59:25,623 --> 00:59:27,291 Give me two minutes, sit down. 1397 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:29,543 (SIGHS) Men, 1398 00:59:30,127 --> 00:59:31,378 a few years ago... 1399 00:59:32,630 --> 00:59:34,548 (SIGHS) I found the Lord Almighty. 1400 00:59:34,715 --> 00:59:35,716 And, ever since then, 1401 00:59:35,883 --> 00:59:38,761 my life has been completely different. Okay? 1402 00:59:38,928 --> 00:59:41,222 He's got a plan for each and every one of us 1403 00:59:41,388 --> 00:59:43,307 and, in his infinite wisdom, 1404 00:59:43,474 --> 00:59:45,643 he makes no mistakes. Hmm? 1405 00:59:46,268 --> 00:59:47,561 You're right about that. 1406 00:59:47,728 --> 00:59:48,896 I think the Lord put you here because 1407 00:59:49,063 --> 00:59:50,481 he wants me to get something off my chest. 1408 00:59:50,648 --> 00:59:51,941 He wants me to clear my conscience 1409 00:59:52,107 --> 00:59:53,651 and he wants me to ask for forgiveness. 1410 00:59:53,817 --> 00:59:54,818 Robert. 1411 00:59:55,027 --> 00:59:57,488 What I did to you at that rally in senior year 1412 00:59:57,655 --> 00:59:59,114 was a cowardly act. 1413 00:59:59,281 --> 01:00:01,617 It's something that I've regretted every single day. 1414 01:00:01,784 --> 01:00:04,787 Yeah. I mean, bullying is a national crisis. 1415 01:00:04,954 --> 01:00:09,250 It can leave people with a lifetime of pain. 1416 01:00:09,833 --> 01:00:11,001 So... 1417 01:00:14,672 --> 01:00:18,884 I just want to say how truly sorry I am 1418 01:00:19,051 --> 01:00:21,553 for what happened, you know. 1419 01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:23,138 Or for what I did. 1420 01:00:23,305 --> 01:00:24,598 It didn't just happen. I did it. 1421 01:00:24,765 --> 01:00:27,476 I did it, and I wish to God that I had not done it. 1422 01:00:28,060 --> 01:00:31,105 So, I'm hoping that you can find it in your heart 1423 01:00:32,356 --> 01:00:34,275 to forgive me. 1424 01:00:35,985 --> 01:00:38,112 I wasn't expecting this at all. 1425 01:00:38,279 --> 01:00:39,947 Don't I know it. I know it. 1426 01:00:41,198 --> 01:00:42,700 I'm just so happy. 1427 01:00:43,784 --> 01:00:45,369 I don't know what to say. 1428 01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:47,746 How about you say... 1429 01:00:49,248 --> 01:00:53,168 "The Oscar goes to Trevor Olson." 1430 01:00:56,588 --> 01:00:58,424 - What do you mean? -(LAUGHING) 1431 01:01:06,348 --> 01:01:07,641 Weird Dick! 1432 01:01:07,808 --> 01:01:09,435 You stupid ass! 1433 01:01:09,601 --> 01:01:11,228 Good God, you're dumb! 1434 01:01:11,395 --> 01:01:13,314 Dumber than ever, I guess! 1435 01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:15,274 And you, too, Calvin! 1436 01:01:15,441 --> 01:01:18,027 Look at that stupid look on those two faces. 1437 01:01:18,193 --> 01:01:21,030 "The Lord taught me to care." Unbelievable. 1438 01:01:21,196 --> 01:01:24,491 I'm a Scientologist. Okay, that's 1439 01:01:24,658 --> 01:01:26,952 And thetan-free since 2003. 1440 01:01:27,119 --> 01:01:28,120 Clear as shit. 1441 01:01:28,287 --> 01:01:29,496 And "I'm sorry for what I did"? 1442 01:01:29,663 --> 01:01:30,873 Let me tell you what I'm sorry about. 1443 01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:33,417 I'm sorry I didn't toss your naked ass out there three more times. 1444 01:01:33,584 --> 01:01:34,918 It was the best senior prank ever. 1445 01:01:35,085 --> 01:01:36,545 I still get emails about it. 1446 01:01:36,712 --> 01:01:37,796 Know what? 1447 01:01:37,963 --> 01:01:39,506 You're going to regret you ever opened your mouth. 1448 01:01:39,673 --> 01:01:42,051 - You hear me, Trevor? - Yeah? How come, Calvin? 1449 01:01:42,217 --> 01:01:43,719 Because he's about to whoop your ass, that's why. 1450 01:01:43,886 --> 01:01:44,887 Who is? 1451 01:01:45,054 --> 01:01:46,138 Bob, get up and whoop his ass. 1452 01:01:46,305 --> 01:01:48,349 Here she comes! Let me tell you something... 1453 01:01:48,515 --> 01:01:51,101 Weird Dick can't chug a bunch of steroids and elk urine 1454 01:01:51,268 --> 01:01:54,855 and miraculously be able to kick my ass all of a sudden, okay? 1455 01:01:55,022 --> 01:01:56,440 It ain't gonna happen. 1456 01:01:56,607 --> 01:01:57,900 'Cause here's why. 1457 01:01:58,067 --> 01:02:01,653 Once a fat kid, always a fat kid. 1458 01:02:02,154 --> 01:02:03,238 Huh? Prove me wrong. 1459 01:02:03,405 --> 01:02:04,990 Bob, come on. Do what you did in the bar. 1460 01:02:15,876 --> 01:02:18,003 Come on, hit me! 1461 01:02:18,170 --> 01:02:20,422 And I'll sue your ass, and take your fanny pack away. 1462 01:02:20,589 --> 01:02:21,632 (BLOWS) 1463 01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:23,842 - What's the matter with you? - I just want to go. 1464 01:02:24,009 --> 01:02:25,219 She wants to go. 1465 01:02:25,928 --> 01:02:27,971 Go ahead. There you go. 1466 01:02:28,555 --> 01:02:29,681 No, it's a push. 1467 01:02:29,848 --> 01:02:32,017 Boy, 50-50 shot. You missed that. 1468 01:02:32,184 --> 01:02:33,519 At least you found the handle. 1469 01:02:33,685 --> 01:02:36,105 Boy, he's still a scared little bitch. 1470 01:02:36,271 --> 01:02:37,606 You know, you're still an asshole. 1471 01:02:37,773 --> 01:02:39,858 Yeah, well, you're still shorter than my cat. 1472 01:02:40,609 --> 01:02:41,777 Here's your transaction number. 1473 01:02:42,194 --> 01:02:43,654 Hit it, Ant-Man. 1474 01:02:45,322 --> 01:02:47,116 -(CLEARS THROAT) Thank you, Trevor. - Yup. 1475 01:02:48,197 --> 01:02:49,907 Glad to see you haven't changed a bit. 1476 01:02:50,073 --> 01:02:51,074 Bye-bye now. 1477 01:02:51,241 --> 01:02:52,493 - Was it push or pull? - Clean push. 1478 01:02:52,659 --> 01:02:54,203 - Which one is it? - You want me to do it for you? 1479 01:02:54,369 --> 01:02:55,370 Which one is it? 1480 01:02:56,622 --> 01:02:59,166 Hey, hey, hey! Goddamn it, Joyner! 1481 01:02:59,333 --> 01:03:00,501 Jenny! 1482 01:03:00,667 --> 01:03:03,545 Jenny, get the Windex! And security for this one. 1483 01:03:03,712 --> 01:03:05,964 Get your asshole off my door! That's it! 1484 01:03:07,549 --> 01:03:09,426 Bob! Bob! 1485 01:03:09,760 --> 01:03:11,595 Bob!Bob!Bob! 1486 01:03:12,721 --> 01:03:13,722 (SIGHS) 1487 01:03:16,683 --> 01:03:18,018 (CELL PHONE BUZZING) 1488 01:03:18,685 --> 01:03:20,896 Mr. Joyner. Guess who we're about to arrest 1489 01:03:21,063 --> 01:03:23,023 for conspiracy to commit treason. 1490 01:03:25,776 --> 01:03:28,278 That's right. Your lovely wife. 1491 01:03:28,445 --> 01:03:30,239 So, here's what you're going to do. 1492 01:03:30,405 --> 01:03:32,950 You're going to tell us exactly where you and Bob are. 1493 01:03:33,116 --> 01:03:35,410 Then you're going to go outside and you're going to keep Bob on-site 1494 01:03:35,577 --> 01:03:36,620 until we arrive. 1495 01:03:36,870 --> 01:03:39,081 And if he leaves, you lose. 1496 01:03:39,832 --> 01:03:41,375 Is that clear? 1497 01:03:46,922 --> 01:03:47,923 Oh, hey. 1498 01:03:48,090 --> 01:03:49,341 I don't know what happened in there, 1499 01:03:49,508 --> 01:03:50,676 and I just froze up. 1500 01:03:50,843 --> 01:03:52,511 I locked up. I'm sorry. 1501 01:03:53,053 --> 01:03:54,096 Look,Bob,L“ 1502 01:03:54,263 --> 01:03:56,640 No, I gotta tell you something, CJ, listen. 1503 01:03:56,807 --> 01:03:58,642 You're the only one who's ever been nice to me, 1504 01:03:58,809 --> 01:04:00,686 the only one who's never laughed at me. 1505 01:04:00,853 --> 01:04:03,981 And you're the only one in this whole world that I trust. 1506 01:04:04,147 --> 01:04:06,108 And I know you have a lot of friends, 1507 01:04:08,652 --> 01:04:09,695 but I don't. 1508 01:04:11,488 --> 01:04:12,865 You're my only friend, Calvin. 1509 01:04:13,532 --> 01:04:16,159 And I will never let you down again, I promise. 1510 01:04:17,911 --> 01:04:19,454 I'm sorry, man. 1511 01:04:23,125 --> 01:04:24,251 Sorry for what? 1512 01:04:24,418 --> 01:04:26,086 I told Harris where we are. 1513 01:04:27,129 --> 01:04:28,714 They were going to hurt Maggie. 1514 01:04:28,881 --> 01:04:30,841 I had to. I didn't have a choice. 1515 01:04:31,341 --> 01:04:32,467 I'm sorry. 1516 01:04:33,635 --> 01:04:35,846 -(TIRES SCREECHING) -(INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1517 01:04:37,556 --> 01:04:39,474 Freeze, Bob! Hands on your head! 1518 01:04:39,641 --> 01:04:40,642 Do it now! 1519 01:04:50,861 --> 01:04:53,071 (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) 1520 01:05:11,173 --> 01:05:12,716 I know you know how this goes, 1521 01:05:12,883 --> 01:05:14,384 so I'll spare you the dramatics. 1522 01:05:14,551 --> 01:05:16,637 I'll ask you just once. 1523 01:05:16,803 --> 01:05:19,014 Where are the satellite encryption codes? 1524 01:05:21,141 --> 01:05:23,185 Aw. What's the matter, Bob? 1525 01:05:23,894 --> 01:05:27,064 Are you upset that your friend turned you in? 1526 01:05:27,606 --> 01:05:29,274 I don't have any friends. 1527 01:05:29,441 --> 01:05:31,109 Okay, I don't want to watch this, guys. 1528 01:05:31,276 --> 01:05:32,653 Don't worry, it'll be over quick. 1529 01:05:32,819 --> 01:05:34,404 She always gets them to break. 1530 01:05:34,571 --> 01:05:36,949 AGENT HARRIS: (ON SPEAKER) Okay. You have it your way. 1531 01:05:37,115 --> 01:05:38,700 We're going to do this old-school. 1532 01:05:46,750 --> 01:05:48,669 Get the extraction tools. 1533 01:05:50,420 --> 01:05:52,381 The extraction tools? 1534 01:05:52,756 --> 01:05:54,716 If you don't have the stomach for it, you can go. 1535 01:05:55,509 --> 01:05:56,969 Come on. 1536 01:05:59,638 --> 01:06:00,681 Stop recording. 1537 01:06:06,395 --> 01:06:08,230 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 1538 01:06:10,857 --> 01:06:12,859 Why am I coming here? I was told I'd be able to leave. 1539 01:06:13,026 --> 01:06:14,111 You can leave, 1540 01:06:14,277 --> 01:06:15,696 when Agent Harris says you can leave, 1541 01:06:15,862 --> 01:06:16,947 which might be never. 1542 01:06:17,155 --> 01:06:18,490 I gotta watch this. 1543 01:06:20,367 --> 01:06:22,536 -(GROANING) -(BONE SNAPS) 1544 01:06:25,247 --> 01:06:26,498 (BOB CONTINUES GROANING) 1545 01:06:26,873 --> 01:06:28,375 (WHISPERS) I'm sorry, Bob. 1546 01:06:28,875 --> 01:06:30,127 I'm sorry, man. 1547 01:06:39,511 --> 01:06:40,887 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1548 01:06:41,430 --> 01:06:42,806 (BOB CONTINUES GROANING) 1549 01:06:43,348 --> 01:06:44,474 Oh, Jesus! 1550 01:06:52,315 --> 01:06:53,316 What the hell? 1551 01:06:53,608 --> 01:06:54,609 (GROANS) 1552 01:06:54,860 --> 01:06:56,528 (EXCLAIMS) Hey! Hey! 1553 01:06:58,113 --> 01:06:59,114 Don't move! 1554 01:06:59,281 --> 01:07:01,700 You get your hands off! Get them off the keyboard! 1555 01:07:01,867 --> 01:07:03,827 - What are you doing, Calvin? - Give me your keycard! 1556 01:07:04,161 --> 01:07:05,662 Give me your keycard! 1557 01:07:06,246 --> 01:07:07,247 Give it to me. 1558 01:07:07,706 --> 01:07:08,749 - Okay... - Go sit down. 1559 01:07:08,915 --> 01:07:10,500 (SOFTLY) Okay. Yeah. 1560 01:07:10,667 --> 01:07:12,002 Sorry. I'm sorry. 1561 01:07:12,169 --> 01:07:14,171 - Sit down! Sit down! - Okay, okay, okay. 1562 01:07:14,337 --> 01:07:15,922 (BOB BREATHING HEAVILY) 1563 01:07:16,423 --> 01:07:17,424 You know, Bob? 1564 01:07:17,591 --> 01:07:20,218 This is actually my favorite part of the job. 1565 01:07:20,385 --> 01:07:22,637 Thank you for being so uncooperative. 1566 01:07:22,804 --> 01:07:24,264 What do you think your little buddy, Joyner, 1567 01:07:24,431 --> 01:07:25,807 would say if he could see you like this? 1568 01:07:26,141 --> 01:07:27,183 Two words. 1569 01:07:27,350 --> 01:07:28,435 I'm in. 1570 01:07:29,436 --> 01:07:31,229 What-what? 1571 01:07:31,604 --> 01:07:33,940 You're making a big mistake, Mr. Joyner. 1572 01:07:34,107 --> 01:07:36,026 That's only if I'm wrong. 1573 01:07:37,861 --> 01:07:39,446 Come on, Bob. Let's go! 1574 01:07:39,612 --> 01:07:41,281 What're you doing? Come on, man! 1575 01:07:41,740 --> 01:07:42,699 (PANTING) 1576 01:07:42,866 --> 01:07:45,076 Okay, listen to me. Bob, I'm sorry. 1577 01:07:45,243 --> 01:07:47,203 I'm sorry I double-crossed you. You hear me? 1578 01:07:47,370 --> 01:07:49,456 I should've believed you, I should've trusted you, and I didn't. 1579 01:07:49,622 --> 01:07:50,623 I'm sorry for that. 1580 01:07:50,790 --> 01:07:53,335 Listen to me. Bob, we don't have time for this, man! 1581 01:07:53,501 --> 01:07:55,628 I need you to tap into that super-spy stuff 1582 01:07:55,795 --> 01:07:58,089 and I need you to get us the hell out of here right now. Do you hear me? 1583 01:07:58,506 --> 01:08:00,008 Now, come on, man. We boys? 1584 01:08:01,509 --> 01:08:02,510 - We're boys. - Oh! 1585 01:08:04,171 --> 01:08:05,172 Sorry, Jet. 1586 01:08:05,672 --> 01:08:07,340 -(BONES CRACKING) - Oh, God! 1587 01:08:08,258 --> 01:08:09,259 -(GROANS) - Oh, God! 1588 01:08:09,676 --> 01:08:11,261 See? Good as new. 1589 01:08:12,554 --> 01:08:14,389 Wow. Sorry, man. 1590 01:08:14,598 --> 01:08:15,891 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1591 01:08:18,310 --> 01:08:19,352 AGENT: Go, go! 1592 01:08:19,853 --> 01:08:20,896 -(ALARM BLARING) - Get me out! 1593 01:08:21,062 --> 01:08:22,939 He got the jump on us. Give me the key. 1594 01:08:26,521 --> 01:08:27,522 -(GRUNTING) - CALVIN: Look out, Bob! 1595 01:08:28,607 --> 01:08:30,734 Here, Jet! Get him! 1596 01:08:30,901 --> 01:08:32,361 Watch out! 1597 01:08:37,949 --> 01:08:39,201 (CHOKING) 1598 01:08:41,036 --> 01:08:42,371 Did you see that, Bob? 1599 01:08:42,537 --> 01:08:44,539 I did the thing! I did the thing, Bob! 1600 01:08:44,706 --> 01:08:45,749 Yeah! (LAUGHS) 1601 01:08:45,916 --> 01:08:47,834 Yeah! Yeah! 1602 01:08:48,085 --> 01:08:49,461 - Come on! Follow me! - Let's do it! 1603 01:08:49,628 --> 01:08:52,214 No! What am I doing? Here! You go! You bigger. 1604 01:08:52,381 --> 01:08:53,965 - Okay, okay. - I'm behind you. 1605 01:08:56,176 --> 01:08:57,844 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1606 01:08:58,758 --> 01:09:00,594 Oh, my God. There's two of them. 1607 01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:03,179 Yeah, I'll distract them and you open the door, okay? 1608 01:09:03,346 --> 01:09:04,764 - What? No! - Let's roll. 1609 01:09:04,931 --> 01:09:05,974 No, no. 1610 01:09:07,934 --> 01:09:09,227 Go, go! 1611 01:09:09,936 --> 01:09:12,105 - Close in! - Moving out! 1612 01:09:12,272 --> 01:09:14,190 - Freeze, Bob! - Sorry about this, guys. 1613 01:09:14,733 --> 01:09:16,109 (MEN SCREAMING) 1614 01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:18,904 - BOB: Nope, come here. -(MAN SCREAMS) 1615 01:09:24,242 --> 01:09:25,243 (DOOR BEEPS) 1616 01:09:28,997 --> 01:09:30,248 Come on. 1617 01:09:30,415 --> 01:09:32,667 Wrong keycard, pal. Turn around. 1618 01:09:34,753 --> 01:09:35,921 You needed this one. 1619 01:09:36,087 --> 01:09:37,297 On the ground, now. 1620 01:09:37,464 --> 01:09:38,757 Can I say something first? 1621 01:09:38,924 --> 01:09:40,467 - What? - This is going to hurt. 1622 01:09:40,842 --> 01:09:41,927 -(BOB GRUNTS) -(CALVIN EXCLAIMS) 1623 01:09:42,093 --> 01:09:43,094 (GROANS LOUDLY) 1624 01:09:43,345 --> 01:09:45,513 - Hey, get the keycard! Let's roll. - All right, all right. 1625 01:09:48,266 --> 01:09:49,559 Which car are we taking? 1626 01:09:51,603 --> 01:09:52,646 Not that one. 1627 01:09:52,812 --> 01:09:54,439 Oh, my God. 1628 01:09:54,981 --> 01:09:56,775 Oh, God. Oh, sh-- 1629 01:09:57,692 --> 01:09:58,693 Oh. 1630 01:09:59,027 --> 01:10:00,236 Here we go, Jet. 1631 01:10:02,364 --> 01:10:04,783 - Bob, they are shooting at us! -It's okay, it's bulletproof. 1632 01:10:04,950 --> 01:10:05,951 Drive, drive! 1633 01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:10,121 (WHISTLING) 1634 01:10:17,837 --> 01:10:19,047 (GRUNTS) Here you go, Jet. 1635 01:10:19,756 --> 01:10:20,757 What's this? 1636 01:10:20,924 --> 01:10:22,968 Bug-out bag, courtesy of the CIA. 1637 01:10:23,134 --> 01:10:24,469 Go ahead and grab that encrypted phone in there. 1638 01:10:24,636 --> 01:10:25,637 For what? 1639 01:10:25,804 --> 01:10:27,430 You still have the bank transaction code? 1640 01:10:27,597 --> 01:10:30,517 How are transaction numbers gonna help us find out where the bad guys are? 1641 01:10:30,684 --> 01:10:33,186 Well, it's not bank transaction numbers or codes, it's actually-- 1642 01:10:33,353 --> 01:10:34,854 Longitude and latitude. 1643 01:10:36,272 --> 01:10:39,985 (LAUGHS) Look at the spy brain on the Jet! What-what! 1644 01:10:40,318 --> 01:10:42,529 You're like a chocolate Google. (MIMICS BEEPING) 1645 01:10:42,696 --> 01:10:44,739 - Bob, don't do that. Stop it. Stop it. -(SIGHS) 1646 01:10:44,906 --> 01:10:45,991 You're getting good at this, man. 1647 01:10:46,157 --> 01:10:47,993 Yeah, you're absolutely right. It's longitude and latitude. 1648 01:10:48,159 --> 01:10:51,579 All you gotta do is plug those digits into the GPS, and boom! 1649 01:10:51,788 --> 01:10:54,332 We're gonna catch the buyer and The Badger, just like that. 1650 01:10:56,501 --> 01:10:58,169 -(PHONE CHIMES) - Boston. 1651 01:11:01,715 --> 01:11:03,383 (SIGHS) We're gonna need a plane. 1652 01:11:16,771 --> 01:11:18,064 You ever steal a plane before? 1653 01:11:18,231 --> 01:11:20,525 - I stole some Starbursts one time. - Mmm-hmm. 1654 01:11:20,942 --> 01:11:23,028 So I don't know if that compares or anything, 1655 01:11:23,194 --> 01:11:24,612 but I wasn't successful with that. 1656 01:11:24,779 --> 01:11:25,905 On the way out, I dropped 'em. 1657 01:11:26,072 --> 01:11:27,282 Dropped the whole bag. The guy caught me. 1658 01:11:27,449 --> 01:11:29,075 "What's that?" I just said, "A Starburst." 1659 01:11:29,242 --> 01:11:31,244 Told him myself. it was a mess. 1660 01:11:32,620 --> 01:11:33,621 (SNAPS FINGERS) 1661 01:11:34,039 --> 01:11:36,458 Check it out. The universe provides. 1662 01:11:39,002 --> 01:11:40,003 CALVIN: Oh. 1663 01:11:41,963 --> 01:11:42,964 Golden Jet. 1664 01:11:43,173 --> 01:11:44,591 - Golden Jet. - Golden Jet. 1665 01:11:48,418 --> 01:11:50,295 -It's just one guard in there. - All right. 1666 01:11:50,462 --> 01:11:52,089 90% of spy work is distraction. 1667 01:11:52,256 --> 01:11:53,298 You get in there and distract that guard, 1668 01:11:53,465 --> 01:11:54,550 I'm gonna get us a plane. 1669 01:11:55,259 --> 01:11:56,301 What? 1670 01:11:58,178 --> 01:11:59,596 I don't know what the hell you expect-- 1671 01:12:02,099 --> 01:12:03,100 (WHISPERS) Bob! 1672 01:12:04,226 --> 01:12:05,227 Bob! 1673 01:12:05,936 --> 01:12:06,979 Bob! 1674 01:12:08,397 --> 01:12:09,523 Damn it! 1675 01:12:13,110 --> 01:12:14,111 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1676 01:12:17,648 --> 01:12:19,983 Hey, I need a plane. 1677 01:12:20,150 --> 01:12:23,070 Sir, you cannot be in here. This is a private airfield. 1678 01:12:23,237 --> 01:12:25,781 I understand that but I have an organ in this cooler right now 1679 01:12:25,948 --> 01:12:27,950 that needs to get transported ASAP. 1680 01:12:28,659 --> 01:12:29,660 Really? 1681 01:12:29,826 --> 01:12:32,829 Because my sister-in-law had a heart transplant last year 1682 01:12:32,996 --> 01:12:35,832 and they did not bring it in a Playmate lunch cooler. 1683 01:12:35,999 --> 01:12:37,793 I hate to break it to you, 1684 01:12:37,960 --> 01:12:39,670 but this is not a... 1685 01:12:40,921 --> 01:12:42,005 - This is not a heart. -It's not a heart? 1686 01:12:43,292 --> 01:12:44,335 No, it's not. 1687 01:12:44,502 --> 01:12:45,711 What is it then? 1688 01:12:46,795 --> 01:12:48,964 - It's a dick. - Okay. 1689 01:12:50,508 --> 01:12:52,384 I am made of questions right now. 1690 01:12:52,551 --> 01:12:53,844 Well, you don't have to ask. 1691 01:12:54,011 --> 01:12:55,804 Last night, lady got into it with a man. 1692 01:12:55,971 --> 01:12:57,598 She ended up cutting his pecker off. 1693 01:12:57,765 --> 01:12:59,683 She left with it, got in a car, drove, 1694 01:12:59,850 --> 01:13:01,810 got on 95, threw it out the window. 1695 01:13:02,144 --> 01:13:04,980 The second largest penis hunt in the state history. 1696 01:13:05,147 --> 01:13:06,440 The man was Korean, so you better believe 1697 01:13:06,607 --> 01:13:07,733 it took a long time to find. 1698 01:13:08,526 --> 01:13:10,402 JARED". You're stereotyping Korean dicks. 1699 01:13:10,569 --> 01:13:11,612 That's racist. 1700 01:13:11,779 --> 01:13:13,489 I've seen Korean dicks bigger than you. 1701 01:13:13,656 --> 01:13:15,741 Okay, sir, we don't need to demean each other here. 1702 01:13:15,908 --> 01:13:17,243 I don't believe a word you're saying. 1703 01:13:17,910 --> 01:13:19,245 Let me see it. 1704 01:13:19,822 --> 01:13:21,574 I have no problem showing you this. 1705 01:13:21,741 --> 01:13:24,160 So if you wanna see it then get ready to see. 1706 01:13:24,535 --> 01:13:26,454 - Here I go. - Go for it. 1707 01:13:27,788 --> 01:13:30,625 -(HISSING) - Oh, shit! on, shit. 1708 01:13:30,791 --> 01:13:33,211 (SCREAMS) I'm just kidding. This is my friend. 1709 01:13:33,586 --> 01:13:35,254 - Oh! -It's my buddy. 1710 01:13:35,505 --> 01:13:37,298 His name's Snake Gyllenhaal. 1711 01:13:37,507 --> 01:13:39,509 - He guards my lunch. - Okay, that's enough. 1712 01:14:03,199 --> 01:14:04,617 It's gotta be Harris, right? 1713 01:14:05,910 --> 01:14:06,953 What do you mean? 1714 01:14:07,119 --> 01:14:08,663 I mean, she's gotta be The Black Badger. 1715 01:14:08,829 --> 01:14:09,956 It's the only thing that makes sense. 1716 01:14:10,122 --> 01:14:11,874 I mean, she's had access to the encryption codes 1717 01:14:12,041 --> 01:14:14,710 and she's so hot and bothered about pinning this whole thing on you. 1718 01:14:14,877 --> 01:14:15,962 It's gotta be her! 1719 01:14:16,128 --> 01:14:17,672 (SIGHS) I don't know, Jet. 1720 01:14:17,838 --> 01:14:19,715 I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm The Black Badger. 1721 01:14:19,882 --> 01:14:21,926 She worked me over pretty good in that interrogation room. 1722 01:14:22,093 --> 01:14:24,178 -(ENGINE SPUTTERING) - Hold on, wait, wait... What's going on? 1723 01:14:24,554 --> 01:14:26,973 What's that? What's going on right now, Bob? 1724 01:14:27,139 --> 01:14:29,308 -(ALARM BLARING) - No biggie. We're completely outta gas. 1725 01:14:29,475 --> 01:14:30,977 Oh, my-- on! 1726 01:14:31,727 --> 01:14:32,728 (SCREAMING) 1727 01:14:32,937 --> 01:14:35,231 We're going down, Jet! There's nothing I can do! 1728 01:14:35,398 --> 01:14:38,025 - Oh, shit! - Really quickly... 1729 01:14:38,192 --> 01:14:41,779 What's the one thing you wish you'd done in your life? 1730 01:14:41,946 --> 01:14:44,282 The one thing I wish I hadn't done is not get in a plane with a guy 1731 01:14:44,448 --> 01:14:46,367 who didn't check the goddamned fuel! 1732 01:14:46,534 --> 01:14:49,495 - Why wouldn't you check the fuel? - No, something that's real. 1733 01:14:49,662 --> 01:14:52,081 What's the one thing you regret not doing for you? 1734 01:14:52,248 --> 01:14:54,417 Oh, my God! I think we're gonna die! 1735 01:14:54,792 --> 01:14:56,210 (WAILING) 1736 01:14:59,130 --> 01:15:01,090 Not having a kid, man! 1737 01:15:01,632 --> 01:15:02,800 Not being a father! 1738 01:15:02,967 --> 01:15:05,344 I regret not being a father! 1739 01:15:05,511 --> 01:15:07,388 Maggie, I should've gave you a kid! 1740 01:15:07,555 --> 01:15:10,016 I should've gave you my seed, Maggie! 1741 01:15:10,182 --> 01:15:11,559 I should've! 1742 01:15:11,726 --> 01:15:13,102 I'm so selfish! 1743 01:15:13,269 --> 01:15:14,270 (ENGINE TURNS ON) 1744 01:15:14,478 --> 01:15:16,480 I'm sorry, Maggie! (CONTINUES CRYING) 1745 01:15:18,232 --> 01:15:19,233 (SIGHS) 1746 01:15:20,651 --> 01:15:22,945 - That wasn't so hard, right? - What? 1747 01:15:23,112 --> 01:15:24,822 Hey, just for the record, 1748 01:15:24,989 --> 01:15:26,657 I think you'd make a great dad. 1749 01:15:27,283 --> 01:15:29,076 Did you just fake this whole thing? 1750 01:15:29,785 --> 01:15:30,786 Yeah, kinda. 1751 01:15:30,953 --> 01:15:32,580 You gotta be shitting me glory! 1752 01:15:32,747 --> 01:15:34,206 No, not at all. 1753 01:15:34,373 --> 01:15:36,459 I just thought that maybe a facing-your-own-death situation 1754 01:15:36,626 --> 01:15:39,712 might help motivate you to clarify some of your goals in life. 1755 01:15:39,879 --> 01:15:41,422 And, hey, between me and you, 1756 01:15:41,881 --> 01:15:43,591 I know you've been struggling a little bit. 1757 01:15:44,008 --> 01:15:46,218 You know what I'm struggling with right now, Bob? 1758 01:15:46,385 --> 01:15:47,845 Not whooping your ass. 1759 01:15:48,012 --> 01:15:50,097 (CHUCKLES) Okay, Jet. Hey, you're really cute when you cry. 1760 01:15:50,264 --> 01:15:52,183 Stop it! Enough! 1761 01:16:05,821 --> 01:16:07,031 I don't get it. 1762 01:16:07,198 --> 01:16:08,240 I mean, if these coordinates are correct, 1763 01:16:08,407 --> 01:16:10,493 we should be standing right on top of it. 1764 01:16:10,660 --> 01:16:13,537 The deal doesn't go down for another 30 minutes, Jet, 1765 01:16:13,704 --> 01:16:16,207 -so we're kinda early. - No! 1766 01:16:16,374 --> 01:16:17,750 Why would you do it out in the open like this? 1767 01:16:17,917 --> 01:16:19,460 Why would you take that risk? 1768 01:16:19,627 --> 01:16:21,295 Just doesn't make any sense, man. 1769 01:16:22,630 --> 01:16:24,298 Shit! Come on. 1770 01:16:26,342 --> 01:16:27,385 Wait. 1771 01:16:29,053 --> 01:16:30,930 Oh, wait. It's not happening up here. 1772 01:16:32,723 --> 01:16:34,141 No, it's not. It's... 1773 01:16:37,019 --> 01:16:39,563 Oh, it's happening beneath us. Look. 1774 01:16:39,730 --> 01:16:41,607 It's an underground parking garage. 1775 01:16:42,525 --> 01:16:43,984 Yeah, that's a good eye, Jet. 1776 01:16:44,485 --> 01:16:46,737 Why don't you stay up here? Keep overwatch. 1777 01:16:46,904 --> 01:16:48,364 I'll go down there and check things out. 1778 01:16:48,531 --> 01:16:50,366 Wait, what? No, I'm going with you. 1779 01:16:50,533 --> 01:16:53,285 You can't go with me. The smarter play is if we split up. 1780 01:16:53,452 --> 01:16:54,662 Smarter play for who? 1781 01:16:55,079 --> 01:16:56,747 Do you know what happens when people split up, Bob? 1782 01:16:56,914 --> 01:16:57,957 Somebody dies! 1783 01:16:58,124 --> 01:16:59,542 I'd be the one to die. You know why? 1784 01:16:59,709 --> 01:17:02,086 Because I don't have a bulletproof vest and I don't have a gun! 1785 01:17:02,253 --> 01:17:03,879 Which means that you are my bulletproof vest! 1786 01:17:04,046 --> 01:17:06,465 My little black ass is gonna stay behind you, you're not leaving me! 1787 01:17:06,632 --> 01:17:08,509 That's exactly why you should stay up here. 1788 01:17:08,676 --> 01:17:11,011 Look, if you went down in that garage and you got shot to death, 1789 01:17:11,178 --> 01:17:12,346 you know how hurt I would be? 1790 01:17:12,513 --> 01:17:14,140 I'd be super bummed out! I don't want that. 1791 01:17:14,306 --> 01:17:15,891 It's safer for you up here. 1792 01:17:16,058 --> 01:17:17,935 If something happened up here, what am I supposed to do, Bob? 1793 01:17:18,102 --> 01:17:20,229 How do I get your attention? Make a bird call? 1794 01:17:20,396 --> 01:17:21,814 (SQUAWKING) 1795 01:17:22,523 --> 01:17:24,608 Does that sound like a bird to you? Huh? 1796 01:17:24,775 --> 01:17:26,652 That's my biggest weakness! I can't make bird noises. 1797 01:17:26,819 --> 01:17:27,862 I never could. 1798 01:17:28,028 --> 01:17:29,780 So if that's what I gotta depend on to live, 1799 01:17:29,947 --> 01:17:32,783 it means I'm gonna die! I'mma die up here, by myself 1800 01:17:32,950 --> 01:17:35,244 sounding like a dead-ass pigeon. 1801 01:17:35,703 --> 01:17:36,704 (CAWS) 1802 01:17:36,996 --> 01:17:39,623 - I have no idea what a pigeon-- - Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet! 1803 01:17:39,790 --> 01:17:41,459 You don't have to make bird noises. 1804 01:17:41,625 --> 01:17:42,626 You don't have to sound like a pigeon. 1805 01:17:42,793 --> 01:17:45,629 All you gotta do is call me on the encrypted phone 1806 01:17:45,796 --> 01:17:47,631 that's in your hand. 1807 01:17:52,219 --> 01:17:53,554 - C)Kay? 'okay, Yeah. 1808 01:17:54,054 --> 01:17:55,431 - I'll be right back. - Okay. 1809 01:17:55,598 --> 01:17:56,766 All right? 1810 01:17:57,016 --> 01:17:58,225 Oh, Jet. 1811 01:17:59,727 --> 01:18:01,395 I'll see you on the other side. 1812 01:18:02,271 --> 01:18:03,272 Yeah. 1813 01:18:03,564 --> 01:18:04,565 Yeah. 1814 01:18:09,904 --> 01:18:10,905 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 1815 01:18:13,073 --> 01:18:14,575 (GUN COCKS) 1816 01:18:30,716 --> 01:18:31,801 You're early. 1817 01:18:32,510 --> 01:18:34,094 So are you. 1818 01:18:36,722 --> 01:18:38,098 (EXHALES) Come on. 1819 01:18:48,776 --> 01:18:50,110 (WHISPERS) Oh, my God! 1820 01:18:53,948 --> 01:18:55,825 Oh, my God. 1821 01:18:56,659 --> 01:18:57,660 I knew it. 1822 01:18:57,827 --> 01:19:00,162 I knew it. I knew she was The Black Badger! 1823 01:19:00,329 --> 01:19:01,956 Oh, my God! 1824 01:19:02,498 --> 01:19:04,625 - Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. -(LINE RINGS) 1825 01:19:04,792 --> 01:19:05,793 BOB". Yello? 1826 01:19:05,960 --> 01:19:08,587 Bob, Harris is The Black Badger! 1827 01:19:08,754 --> 01:19:09,755 Hello? 1828 01:19:10,130 --> 01:19:11,549 Harris is The Black Badger! 1829 01:19:11,715 --> 01:19:12,758 I can't hear you. 1830 01:19:12,925 --> 01:19:14,760 Harris is The Black Badger! 1831 01:19:14,927 --> 01:19:15,928 (BOB LAUGHS) 1832 01:19:16,136 --> 01:19:18,639 Just kidding! I'm not here. Leave a message at the beep. 1833 01:19:18,806 --> 01:19:19,807 - What? -(POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1834 01:19:19,974 --> 01:19:21,016 (BEEPING) 1835 01:19:23,686 --> 01:19:24,812 (GRUNTING) 1836 01:19:30,150 --> 01:19:31,652 Oh. Harris is The Black Badger! 1837 01:19:31,819 --> 01:19:33,445 Harris is The Black Badger! 1838 01:19:33,612 --> 01:19:35,948 I knew it. I knew it. Harris is The Black Badger! 1839 01:19:37,116 --> 01:19:39,243 Bob! Harris is The... 1840 01:19:39,410 --> 01:19:40,411 (GUNS COCKING) 1841 01:19:40,744 --> 01:19:41,745 Who is he? 1842 01:19:42,162 --> 01:19:43,163 That's my partner. 1843 01:19:57,052 --> 01:19:58,596 I don't like splitting my fees. 1844 01:20:00,306 --> 01:20:03,434 The package. Please. 1845 01:20:04,602 --> 01:20:06,270 Thought you'd never ask. 1846 01:20:06,478 --> 01:20:09,899 Wait! You're making a mistake. 1847 01:20:11,442 --> 01:20:13,152 Hello, Bob. 1848 01:20:14,820 --> 01:20:16,405 But you're dead. 1849 01:20:16,572 --> 01:20:18,616 Not as much as people think. 1850 01:20:19,366 --> 01:20:22,119 Look, he's not The Black Badger... 1851 01:20:22,828 --> 01:20:23,829 lam. 1852 01:20:23,996 --> 01:20:26,123 And those aren't the encryption codes, 1853 01:20:26,290 --> 01:20:27,625 these are. 1854 01:20:27,791 --> 01:20:28,876 He's lying to you. 1855 01:20:29,043 --> 01:20:30,544 This man is a CIA agent, 1856 01:20:30,878 --> 01:20:32,379 and he's trying to sell you bogus plans. 1857 01:20:36,800 --> 01:20:38,385 (GROANING SOFTLY) 1858 01:20:39,720 --> 01:20:40,763 Damn. 1859 01:20:42,723 --> 01:20:44,058 Ow, ow. 1860 01:20:47,645 --> 01:20:48,729 He shot me. 1861 01:20:52,650 --> 01:20:54,818 These are the real codes 1862 01:20:55,653 --> 01:20:57,237 and I am the real Black Badger. 1863 01:21:01,367 --> 01:21:02,868 (QUIETLY) Bob is The Black Badger. 1864 01:21:04,536 --> 01:21:05,704 (BREATHING DEEPLY) Bob is The Black Badger. 1865 01:21:05,871 --> 01:21:07,915 I am The Black Badger. 1866 01:21:08,412 --> 01:21:09,580 Phil? 1867 01:21:10,789 --> 01:21:13,417 No, I'm The Black Badger. 1868 01:21:13,584 --> 01:21:16,545 I'm starting to think I might be The Black Badger. 1869 01:21:16,753 --> 01:21:18,046 (ALL CHUCKLING) 1870 01:21:18,755 --> 01:21:20,424 Here's the thing. 1871 01:21:20,591 --> 01:21:23,677 I have no idea who is the real Black Badger. 1872 01:21:24,720 --> 01:21:26,263 And I don't care. 1873 01:21:26,430 --> 01:21:27,931 'Cause I'm The Honey Badger. 1874 01:21:28,098 --> 01:21:30,017 And The Honey Badger doesn't give a shit. 1875 01:21:30,183 --> 01:21:31,768 The Honey Badger's nasty. 1876 01:21:31,935 --> 01:21:34,605 He's so nasty, he'll take them both. 1877 01:21:35,063 --> 01:21:36,064 -(GUNS COCKING) - Hand them over. 1878 01:21:36,690 --> 01:21:38,901 Phil, when this thing is over, 1879 01:21:39,067 --> 01:21:43,071 I'm going to rip your throat out like Patrick Swayze in Road House. 1880 01:21:43,238 --> 01:21:44,615 PHIL: Oh, my God. You and Road House. 1881 01:21:44,781 --> 01:21:45,824 Get over that movie. 1882 01:21:45,991 --> 01:21:47,743 It sucked then, it sucks now. 1883 01:21:47,910 --> 01:21:50,954 The only movie that sucks more is Sixteen Candles. 1884 01:21:51,747 --> 01:21:52,873 How dare you! 1885 01:21:58,122 --> 01:21:59,540 Drop your weapons! 1886 01:22:01,292 --> 01:22:03,460 (MEN GROANING) 1887 01:22:05,296 --> 01:22:06,338 Oh! Oh, shit! 1888 01:22:18,642 --> 01:22:19,810 The codes. 1889 01:22:20,227 --> 01:22:21,312 Don't do it. 1890 01:22:21,979 --> 01:22:23,063 Stupid. 1891 01:22:23,480 --> 01:22:24,481 (EXHALES) 1892 01:22:25,482 --> 01:22:26,483 Okay. 1893 01:22:27,067 --> 01:22:28,068 One, 1894 01:22:29,111 --> 01:22:30,112 two, 1895 01:22:31,488 --> 01:22:32,489 three! Shit! 1896 01:22:34,700 --> 01:22:35,826 (CALVIN YELLS) 1897 01:22:37,828 --> 01:22:39,496 Uh-Oh! Oh! 1898 01:22:39,997 --> 01:22:40,998 No! 1899 01:22:41,498 --> 01:22:42,625 He's got the codes! 1900 01:22:45,461 --> 01:22:46,462 (GRUNTING) 1901 01:22:48,839 --> 01:22:49,840 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1902 01:22:52,843 --> 01:22:54,595 -(PANTING) -(TIRES SCREECHING) 1903 01:22:55,721 --> 01:22:56,722 (GRUNTING) 1904 01:23:02,394 --> 01:23:04,772 -(PANTING) -(TIRES SCREECHING) 1905 01:23:05,814 --> 01:23:07,483 (GRUNTING) 1906 01:23:13,697 --> 01:23:14,698 (YELLS) 1907 01:23:17,618 --> 01:23:18,619 Whoo! 1908 01:23:19,036 --> 01:23:20,704 I mean, this is crazy, right? 1909 01:23:21,073 --> 01:23:22,199 You stay the hell away from me, Bob! 1910 01:23:22,366 --> 01:23:23,701 You shot me in the neck! 1911 01:23:26,704 --> 01:23:27,705 Jet! 1912 01:23:28,247 --> 01:23:29,248 (GROANS) 1913 01:23:41,302 --> 01:23:43,429 (PANTING) 1914 01:23:49,018 --> 01:23:50,060 Okay. 1915 01:23:54,398 --> 01:23:56,567 Golden Jet for the win! (LAUGHS) 1916 01:23:58,235 --> 01:23:59,737 No. Shit! 1917 01:23:59,904 --> 01:24:01,280 Drop your weapon, Bob. 1918 01:24:02,489 --> 01:24:03,490 Oh, shit! 1919 01:24:03,657 --> 01:24:05,242 Get behind me, Mr. Joyner. 1920 01:24:05,659 --> 01:24:07,036 You don't wanna do that, Jet. 1921 01:24:07,244 --> 01:24:08,579 It's obvious he's the bad guy. 1922 01:24:08,746 --> 01:24:10,164 I'm the good guy. You wanna get behind me. 1923 01:24:10,331 --> 01:24:12,166 Agent Harris had me go dark 1924 01:24:12,333 --> 01:24:15,419 to get Bob to reveal himself as The Black Badger. 1925 01:24:15,586 --> 01:24:17,254 You don't seriously believe this guy, do you? 1926 01:24:17,421 --> 01:24:18,505 You wanna get behind me, Jet. 1927 01:24:18,672 --> 01:24:20,424 You betrayed your nation, Bob. 1928 01:24:20,758 --> 01:24:23,093 You betrayed your partner, Phil. 1929 01:24:23,260 --> 01:24:26,597 Okay, no, wait! Everybodyjust stop! 1930 01:24:26,764 --> 01:24:27,806 Cut the shit! 1931 01:24:28,390 --> 01:24:30,059 L'mma cut the line right now! 1932 01:24:30,225 --> 01:24:31,602 I cut the shit! 1933 01:24:31,769 --> 01:24:33,604 Hear me? Now I don't care who betrayed who. 1934 01:24:33,771 --> 01:24:35,189 Okay? I just don't wanna get hurt! 1935 01:24:35,648 --> 01:24:38,150 - So there ain't gonna be no-- Shit! -(GUNS FIRING) 1936 01:24:47,076 --> 01:24:48,077 (SOFTLY) Come on. 1937 01:24:48,744 --> 01:24:49,745 (GRUNTING) 1938 01:25:03,968 --> 01:25:04,969 SN... 1939 01:25:09,640 --> 01:25:10,641 (SLOWLY) Shit. 1940 01:25:20,442 --> 01:25:21,443 (GROANS) 1941 01:25:26,699 --> 01:25:28,701 (PANTING) 1942 01:25:29,326 --> 01:25:31,453 Smart move, Mr. Joyner. 1943 01:25:31,620 --> 01:25:33,831 You've done your country a great service. 1944 01:25:33,998 --> 01:25:36,208 Now, hand me the firearm 1945 01:25:36,375 --> 01:25:39,628 and we'll turn over the satellite codes together. 1946 01:25:40,004 --> 01:25:43,590 Stay right there, man. Don't you take another step. 1947 01:25:43,841 --> 01:25:46,176 Just because I shot him does not mean I trust you. 1948 01:25:46,552 --> 01:25:47,720 We don't have time for this. 1949 01:25:47,928 --> 01:25:50,681 - Stop! I said, "Stop." -(GUN CLICKS) 1950 01:25:51,473 --> 01:25:53,183 Aw, whoopsie. 1951 01:25:56,061 --> 01:25:57,062 (GRUNTS) 1952 01:25:57,396 --> 01:25:59,440 (SCOFFS) Nice throw, bitch. 1953 01:26:04,194 --> 01:26:08,699 You wanna know why your pal Bob could never have been The Black Badger? 1954 01:26:09,867 --> 01:26:11,952 It's because he's too weak. 1955 01:26:12,119 --> 01:26:14,496 And if I had to hear another goddamned story 1956 01:26:14,663 --> 01:26:17,833 about Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner 1957 01:26:18,000 --> 01:26:20,127 and how awesome you were in high school 1958 01:26:20,294 --> 01:26:22,880 and how you were this big idiot's best friend, 1959 01:26:23,047 --> 01:26:24,548 (CHUCKLES) I was just gonna lose it. 1960 01:26:25,883 --> 01:26:29,219 Looking at you right now, you don't seem so cool. 1961 01:26:29,386 --> 01:26:32,806 You just seem like a regular guy. 1962 01:26:33,223 --> 01:26:34,725 An everyday Joe. 1963 01:26:35,559 --> 01:26:39,188 You know, faking my own death was the easy part. 1964 01:26:40,064 --> 01:26:43,358 But dealing with Bob, day after day, was the hard part. 1965 01:26:43,525 --> 01:26:44,526 Hey, Phil. 1966 01:26:44,693 --> 01:26:45,736 What, Bob? 1967 01:26:46,653 --> 01:26:48,489 I'll see you on the other side. 1968 01:26:49,156 --> 01:26:51,533 (STUTTERS) No, I hope we don't. All right? 1969 01:26:51,700 --> 01:26:53,243 Just, no. Bye, bye, bye. 1970 01:26:53,410 --> 01:26:54,411 Just go. 1971 01:26:54,578 --> 01:26:57,247 I made up the Black Badger, rigged up a blood bag 1972 01:26:57,414 --> 01:26:58,540 and that big dummy bought it. 1973 01:26:58,749 --> 01:26:59,917 - Bob! -(ALARM BLARING) 1974 01:27:00,084 --> 01:27:02,002 No, no! (GRUNTING) Hang on, buddy. 1975 01:27:02,586 --> 01:27:04,046 No, there's some sort of bomb in here. 1976 01:27:04,213 --> 01:27:06,090 You're pushing it closed, I think. 1977 01:27:06,256 --> 01:27:08,300 - No, no, no. Sorry. - No, don't give up! 1978 01:27:08,467 --> 01:27:09,468 Bye,Bob. 1979 01:27:10,552 --> 01:27:12,846 PHIL: I'm getting away with a half a billion dollars. 1980 01:27:13,013 --> 01:27:16,433 And Boy Scout Bob is gonna spend his life in prison. 1981 01:27:16,600 --> 01:27:18,227 Ain't America great? 1982 01:27:19,061 --> 01:27:23,524 So now you're gonna be the second partner of Bob's to die. 1983 01:27:23,690 --> 01:27:24,733 Just relax. 1984 01:27:24,900 --> 01:27:27,444 On your knees, Golden Jet. 1985 01:27:33,951 --> 01:27:35,327 (GROANS) 1986 01:27:37,162 --> 01:27:38,372 What the hell was that? 1987 01:27:40,249 --> 01:27:41,834 Golden Jet flip. 1988 01:27:42,376 --> 01:27:45,295 Yeah? You really suck at it. 1989 01:27:45,462 --> 01:27:46,713 I know. 1990 01:27:46,880 --> 01:27:48,590 Then Why'd you do it? 1991 01:27:48,757 --> 01:27:49,758 Distraction. 1992 01:27:49,967 --> 01:27:51,552 (GRUNTS) 1993 01:27:51,844 --> 01:27:53,428 (GASPING) 1994 01:27:53,804 --> 01:27:55,139 Oh, you just pulled his throat out! 1995 01:27:57,599 --> 01:27:59,309 I'll see you on the other side. 1996 01:28:04,439 --> 01:28:05,983 Jet, come here. Give me your hand, old buddy. 1997 01:28:06,150 --> 01:28:07,901 Oh, shit! Get that away from me! 1998 01:28:08,068 --> 01:28:09,278 Sorry, Jet. 1999 01:28:10,320 --> 01:28:12,573 Come here, Jet. That was a trachea. (G ROANS) 2000 01:28:12,739 --> 01:28:14,241 Great distraction, man! 2001 01:28:14,408 --> 01:28:15,826 Sorry I had to shoot you, Jet. 2002 01:28:15,993 --> 01:28:17,703 It was the only way I could save your life. 2003 01:28:17,870 --> 01:28:20,122 But when you shot me to get Phil to confess 2004 01:28:20,289 --> 01:28:21,582 that he was The Black Badger, 2005 01:28:21,748 --> 01:28:23,709 that was some next-level-type shit! 2006 01:28:23,876 --> 01:28:27,671 Yeah, no. I'm glad you see it the way I saw it. 2007 01:28:27,838 --> 01:28:29,756 That was my plan the whole time. So... 2008 01:28:29,923 --> 01:28:31,592 You are a natural for this line of work. 2009 01:28:31,758 --> 01:28:33,177 I mean, you're smart, you got the skill set, 2010 01:28:33,343 --> 01:28:34,344 you're a people person 2011 01:28:34,511 --> 01:28:37,764 and you already got a dope-ass code name, "The Golden Jet!" What? 2012 01:28:37,973 --> 01:28:39,683 But in the meantime, we gotta get those encryption codes 2013 01:28:39,850 --> 01:28:41,810 over to Harris right away or we're gonna be late. 2014 01:28:41,977 --> 01:28:44,313 What are you talking about? Late for what? 2015 01:28:46,273 --> 01:28:51,195 The reunion, dude. What-what! (CHUCKLES) This shit's on! 2016 01:28:53,197 --> 01:28:55,157 Bob. (SIGHS) Damn it. 2017 01:28:56,241 --> 01:28:57,284 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 2018 01:29:18,680 --> 01:29:19,681 Bob! 2019 01:29:19,848 --> 01:29:20,849 One more thing. 2020 01:29:21,016 --> 01:29:22,559 Thanks for securing the satellite codes. 2021 01:29:22,726 --> 01:29:24,228 You really saved my ass. 2022 01:29:24,394 --> 01:29:25,646 Your country thanks you. 2023 01:29:26,054 --> 01:29:26,930 Just doing my job. 2024 01:29:27,097 --> 01:29:29,975 I'm really sorry about your hand. I hope you know that wasn't personal. 2025 01:29:30,142 --> 01:29:31,768 Oh, no hard feelings at all, Pam. (CHUCKLES) 2026 01:29:32,269 --> 01:29:33,770 Besides, everybody makes mistakes. 2027 01:29:33,937 --> 01:29:35,939 Calvin, here, thought you were The Black Badger. 2028 01:29:36,523 --> 01:29:37,649 (STAMMERS) 2029 01:29:37,900 --> 01:29:39,026 I don't... No, I don't think... 2030 01:29:39,193 --> 01:29:41,528 When we were in the plane, you said, "Hey, Harris is the Black..." 2031 01:29:41,695 --> 01:29:43,488 I think you should... Maybe I... (CLEARS THROAT) 2032 01:29:43,864 --> 01:29:46,617 Mr. Joyner, it was a pleasure working with you. 2033 01:29:46,783 --> 01:29:49,494 If you ever want a career change, you give me a call. 2034 01:29:50,245 --> 01:29:52,414 If I were to give you a call, how would I get in touch with you? 2035 01:29:52,581 --> 01:29:54,416 Just pick up any phone in your house. 2036 01:29:54,583 --> 01:29:55,709 They're all bugged. 2037 01:29:56,001 --> 01:29:57,002 (CHUCKLES) 2038 01:29:57,377 --> 01:29:59,129 You're crazy. Hey, you're crazy! 2039 01:29:59,671 --> 01:30:01,590 (CHUCKLES) That's a good one. 2040 01:30:01,757 --> 01:30:04,176 Calvin! I got your text and came right over. 2041 01:30:04,343 --> 01:30:07,471 Where the hell have you been? Why did you get out of a helicopter? 2042 01:30:07,930 --> 01:30:09,473 He)', Uh, Maggie. 2043 01:30:09,640 --> 01:30:10,766 Uh, hi! 2044 01:30:11,183 --> 01:30:12,809 Babe, why is Dr. Dan with you? 2045 01:30:13,185 --> 01:30:14,228 Well... Uh... 2046 01:30:14,603 --> 01:30:15,938 That's not Dr. Dan. 2047 01:30:16,104 --> 01:30:18,398 Allow me to properly introduce myself. 2048 01:30:18,565 --> 01:30:19,733 My name is Bob Stone, 2049 01:30:20,275 --> 01:30:22,945 the artist formerly known as Robbie Wheirdicht. 2050 01:30:23,111 --> 01:30:24,154 I work for the CIA. 2051 01:30:24,321 --> 01:30:26,323 I roped your husband into helping me track down a traitor, 2052 01:30:26,490 --> 01:30:29,284 who was gonna sell military state secrets to a terrorist. 2053 01:30:29,451 --> 01:30:30,994 We did all that, we stopped them, 2054 01:30:31,161 --> 01:30:33,288 we saved the free world, and here we are. 2055 01:30:33,497 --> 01:30:34,623 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 2056 01:30:35,123 --> 01:30:36,458 What the hell is going on? 2057 01:30:36,625 --> 01:30:38,293 Okay, listen, listen. 2058 01:30:38,460 --> 01:30:40,462 I've been a fool. All right? 2059 01:30:40,629 --> 01:30:42,631 I thought that my life was a failure. 2060 01:30:42,798 --> 01:30:45,133 I thought that it wasn't special. But it is special. 2061 01:30:45,300 --> 01:30:47,135 It's special because I have you in it. 2062 01:30:47,302 --> 01:30:50,472 You are my world. You are what makes me special! 2063 01:30:51,014 --> 01:30:53,183 You're everything to me, Mags. 2064 01:30:53,350 --> 01:30:54,643 I love you. 2065 01:30:55,310 --> 01:30:56,478 I love you. 2066 01:31:01,149 --> 01:31:02,150 BOB: Okay. 2067 01:31:03,318 --> 01:31:05,153 Here come the waterworks. 2068 01:31:05,320 --> 01:31:07,322 I promised myself I wouldn't do this. 2069 01:31:09,992 --> 01:31:11,827 - Come on, come on. - Okay. 2070 01:31:14,788 --> 01:31:16,498 - That's Robbie Wheirdicht? - Yeah. 2071 01:31:16,665 --> 01:31:19,501 -(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) -(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 2072 01:31:38,854 --> 01:31:40,063 - Hi, Brian. - Hi, Gail. 2073 01:31:40,230 --> 01:31:42,357 Guys, this isn't a good idea. You know what? 2074 01:31:42,524 --> 01:31:44,818 I'll just meet you later. I shouldn't have come. 2075 01:31:44,985 --> 01:31:45,986 Wait, wait, wait. 2076 01:31:46,153 --> 01:31:49,197 Bob, calm down, okay? Listen to me. 2077 01:31:49,364 --> 01:31:51,700 Tonight is not gonna be how high school was for you 20 years ago. 2078 01:31:51,867 --> 01:31:53,076 I promise. 2079 01:31:53,243 --> 01:31:55,704 HOSTESS". Attention, pot tavor. 2080 01:31:55,912 --> 01:31:57,080 And now, 2081 01:31:57,247 --> 01:31:59,875 for the moment you've all been waiting for, 2082 01:32:00,042 --> 01:32:04,588 tonight's vote for the reunion homecoming king and queen! 2083 01:32:04,755 --> 01:32:06,423 We'll announce the queen in one moment. 2084 01:32:06,590 --> 01:32:09,051 But first, without further ado... 2085 01:32:09,551 --> 01:32:11,386 The new homecoming king 2086 01:32:11,553 --> 01:32:15,223 for the Central High School Centaurs, Class of 1996 is... 2087 01:32:15,557 --> 01:32:16,767 I really gotta pee, Jet. 2088 01:32:16,933 --> 01:32:18,393 Bob Stone! 2089 01:32:18,560 --> 01:32:19,561 (INDISTINCT MURMURING) 2090 01:32:20,892 --> 01:32:22,519 Do we have a Bob Stone? 2091 01:32:22,685 --> 01:32:24,938 Here he is, Bob Stone, huh! 2092 01:32:25,730 --> 01:32:26,815 - Yeah! -(SCATTERED CLAPPING) 2093 01:32:27,982 --> 01:32:29,943 Go on, get your rock-hard ass up there. 2094 01:32:30,693 --> 01:32:31,694 For reals? 2095 01:32:31,861 --> 01:32:33,988 For reals, for reals. Go ahead, man. 2096 01:32:34,572 --> 01:32:35,573 Whoo! 2097 01:32:35,865 --> 01:32:37,408 You did it, big guy! 2098 01:32:38,076 --> 01:32:40,203 (SCATTERED CLAPPING) 2099 01:32:40,620 --> 01:32:42,330 (INDISTINCT MURMURING) 2100 01:32:43,331 --> 01:32:46,417 How did Bob Stone win homecoming king? 2101 01:32:46,751 --> 01:32:49,003 I hacked into the votes on the flight in. 2102 01:32:49,170 --> 01:32:52,132 Calvin Joyner, forensic accountant, at your service. 2103 01:32:52,340 --> 01:32:53,341 (CHUCKLES) 2104 01:32:53,508 --> 01:32:55,885 I had no idea you could do that. 2105 01:32:56,594 --> 01:32:59,764 There's a lot of things that you don't know about me, Maggie. 2106 01:33:00,306 --> 01:33:01,474 No, scratch that I said that. 2107 01:33:01,641 --> 01:33:03,184 It was supposed to come out cool. It didn't. 2108 01:33:03,351 --> 01:33:04,435 It was something I thought of, it was like a... 2109 01:33:04,602 --> 01:33:05,603 Forget it. 2110 01:33:07,188 --> 01:33:09,023 TREVOR: Well, well, let's hear it for him! 2111 01:33:09,190 --> 01:33:10,650 Fat Robbie made good. 2112 01:33:10,817 --> 01:33:14,112 King Robbie Weird Dick, our naked mascot. 2113 01:33:14,279 --> 01:33:15,655 Still a scared little bitch. (GROANS) 2114 01:33:15,864 --> 01:33:17,282 (CROWD EXCLAIMS) 2115 01:33:19,906 --> 01:33:21,116 I don't like bullies. 2116 01:33:21,491 --> 01:33:22,909 (CROWD CHEERING) 2117 01:33:24,911 --> 01:33:27,163 And the name is Bob Stone, bitch! 2118 01:33:27,455 --> 01:33:28,456 Whoa-whom.! 2119 01:33:29,124 --> 01:33:30,500 Come on, baby. Step over. 2120 01:33:34,462 --> 01:33:35,630 Hi, everyb0dy! 2121 01:33:36,589 --> 01:33:40,051 Most of you knew me back in high school as 2122 01:33:41,011 --> 01:33:42,512 Robbie Wheirdicht. 2123 01:33:42,721 --> 01:33:44,639 - MAN 1: That's Robbie Wheirdicht? - No way! 2124 01:33:44,806 --> 01:33:46,808 I wore prescription pants every day. 2125 01:33:48,893 --> 01:33:51,146 Twenty years ago, in this gym, 2126 01:33:52,355 --> 01:33:54,315 I stood in front of you all 2127 01:33:55,150 --> 01:33:56,276 naked 2128 01:33:56,985 --> 01:33:58,403 and embarrassed. 2129 01:33:59,362 --> 01:34:01,281 Some of you might remember that day. 2130 01:34:02,449 --> 01:34:04,576 A lot of you probably even laughed. 2131 01:34:05,577 --> 01:34:07,245 But that's okay. 2132 01:34:08,329 --> 01:34:10,957 Tonight's gonna be different because 2133 01:34:11,124 --> 01:34:14,169 my best friend is here with me. 2134 01:34:16,337 --> 01:34:21,509 And he taught me what it means to be the hero of your own story. 2135 01:34:24,262 --> 01:34:25,638 Would you hold this for me, please? 2136 01:34:27,348 --> 01:34:29,267 Being the hero of your own story 2137 01:34:29,434 --> 01:34:33,772 isn't about stopping bad guys or climbing mountains. 2138 01:34:33,938 --> 01:34:37,067 It's about overcoming bullies in your life, 2139 01:34:37,233 --> 01:34:40,153 whatever or whomever they may be. 2140 01:34:41,112 --> 01:34:43,782 It's about putting it all out there 2141 01:34:44,449 --> 01:34:45,492 for everyone 2142 01:34:46,868 --> 01:34:48,036 to see. 2143 01:34:48,870 --> 01:34:50,705 And it's realizing that, in life, 2144 01:34:50,872 --> 01:34:53,208 the most important thing that you can be 2145 01:34:54,334 --> 01:34:55,418 is yourself. 2146 01:34:56,169 --> 01:35:00,507 So, Central High, Class of 1996, 2147 01:35:01,466 --> 01:35:04,344 this is me, Robbie Wheirdicht. 2148 01:35:06,554 --> 01:35:08,181 (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 2149 01:35:13,561 --> 01:35:14,813 (GASPING) 2150 01:35:15,647 --> 01:35:18,233 Oh, my God! Bob just went commando! 2151 01:35:20,068 --> 01:35:21,653 Yes! Yes! 2152 01:35:22,737 --> 01:35:24,280 (CHEERING) 2153 01:35:26,116 --> 01:35:27,700 CALVIN: Way to go, Bob! 2154 01:35:28,576 --> 01:35:29,828 5e you! 2155 01:35:30,328 --> 01:35:32,413 (CHANTING) Robbie! Robbie! Robbie! 2156 01:35:32,580 --> 01:35:35,583 ALL". Robbie! Robbie! Robbie! 2157 01:35:41,089 --> 01:35:42,257 'Hey, man! -(LAUGHS) 2158 01:35:42,423 --> 01:35:44,634 Dude, this is amazing! I'm so happy for you! 2159 01:35:44,801 --> 01:35:46,511 Thank you, Jet! I feel so free! 2160 01:35:47,011 --> 01:35:48,054 - Come here. - No,no,no. 2161 01:35:48,221 --> 01:35:49,973 Your 'gunk "vs out. 2162 01:35:50,348 --> 01:35:52,892 - Oh. Sorry, Jet. - Excuse me. 2163 01:35:55,353 --> 01:35:56,688 Hi, Robbie. 2164 01:35:57,772 --> 01:35:59,858 - You probably don't remember me. - Darla. 2165 01:36:01,109 --> 01:36:03,153 - Is that Darla McGuckian? - Yeah. 2166 01:36:03,319 --> 01:36:05,572 Wow! She looks great! 2167 01:36:05,947 --> 01:36:07,323 Didn't she used to have a lazy eye? 2168 01:36:07,490 --> 01:36:08,825 - Two of them. - Wow. 2169 01:36:08,992 --> 01:36:11,077 I can't believe you remember me. 2170 01:36:11,244 --> 01:36:12,704 Remember you? 2171 01:36:12,871 --> 01:36:14,414 How could I forget you? 2172 01:36:15,123 --> 01:36:18,918 You still have the same sweet smile, the same sweet face. 2173 01:36:19,460 --> 01:36:22,297 But your hair's changed. You used to wear it curlier. 2174 01:36:22,463 --> 01:36:23,715 I like it though. 2175 01:36:24,132 --> 01:36:25,800 You haven't changed at all. 2176 01:36:25,967 --> 01:36:27,510 Oh, I don't know. 2177 01:36:33,672 --> 01:36:35,508 You're still as beautiful as ever. 2178 01:36:35,800 --> 01:36:36,801 Oh. 2179 01:36:38,928 --> 01:36:40,554 (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 2180 01:36:46,143 --> 01:36:47,895 - Yeah, Bob! - Go, Bob! 2181 01:36:48,896 --> 01:36:50,398 No,no,no. 2182 01:36:50,773 --> 01:36:52,608 (ALL CHEERING AND LAUGHING) 2183 01:36:57,613 --> 01:36:59,698 Oh, I got SpinnY- 2184 01:36:59,907 --> 01:37:01,659 Super spiflnY- 2185 01:37:04,286 --> 01:37:06,038 Yeah, that's nice. 2186 01:37:06,205 --> 01:37:07,498 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 2187 01:37:08,416 --> 01:37:09,417 That's my jam! 2188 01:37:09,583 --> 01:37:10,626 Go show them what you got. 2189 01:37:10,835 --> 01:37:11,836 All right, Darla. 2190 01:37:14,547 --> 01:37:15,965 (BOB SINGING "MY LOVIN"' BY EN VOGUE) 2191 01:37:16,340 --> 01:37:18,717 - Good going, Bob! - Come on, Bob! 2192 01:37:19,135 --> 01:37:20,845 (ALL CHEERING) 2193 01:37:34,483 --> 01:37:36,026 - All right. - Good luck! 2194 01:37:36,193 --> 01:37:37,445 - Love you. - I love you. 2195 01:37:37,611 --> 01:37:39,447 I love you, too, little Golden Jet! 2196 01:37:39,613 --> 01:37:40,614 (BOTH LAUGHING) 2197 01:37:42,158 --> 01:37:43,159 Mmm... 2198 01:37:43,325 --> 01:37:44,368 Okay. Uh... 2199 01:37:45,494 --> 01:37:47,037 How long do you think he's been there? 2200 01:37:47,788 --> 01:37:49,582 MAGGIE: Hmm, probably since last night. 2201 01:37:50,207 --> 01:37:51,625 All right, babe, I'll see you later. 2202 01:37:51,792 --> 01:37:53,544 Have fun with your friend! 2203 01:37:59,091 --> 01:38:00,134 (MOUTHING) Who, me? 2204 01:38:00,301 --> 01:38:01,552 Yes, you. 2205 01:38:10,728 --> 01:38:12,062 (LAUGHS) Wow, Jet! 2206 01:38:12,229 --> 01:38:13,939 You look amazing! 2207 01:38:14,106 --> 01:38:15,900 - Do you think? - Oh, what? Yes! 2208 01:38:16,066 --> 01:38:17,943 I just didn't know the kind of look to go for 2209 01:38:18,110 --> 01:38:19,153 on my first day at the agency. 2210 01:38:19,320 --> 01:38:21,363 You look like a black Will Smith, or something. 2211 01:38:21,572 --> 01:38:23,240 Okay, I'm not sure if that's racist or not, 2212 01:38:23,407 --> 01:38:24,408 but I'll take it as a compliment. 2213 01:38:24,575 --> 01:38:25,951 All right, cool. Yeah, come on! 2214 01:38:26,118 --> 01:38:27,286 Okay. (LAUGHS) 2215 01:38:27,912 --> 01:38:29,121 All right. Don't be nervous. 2216 01:38:29,288 --> 01:38:31,081 You are gonna do great. They're gonna love you! 2217 01:38:31,248 --> 01:38:32,625 Oh, Jet, Jet, Jet! 2218 01:38:32,791 --> 01:38:33,918 Um, before we go, man, uh... 2219 01:38:35,419 --> 01:38:36,545 I got a surprise for you. 2220 01:38:37,755 --> 01:38:39,632 Okay. What's the surprise? 2221 01:38:39,798 --> 01:38:42,426 You gotta close your eyes first. 2222 01:38:44,136 --> 01:38:45,304 Eyes are closed. 2223 01:38:45,471 --> 01:38:46,472 No peeking. 2224 01:38:52,019 --> 01:38:53,187 Open your eyes. 2225 01:38:57,441 --> 01:38:59,777 Is that my... Is that my jacket? 2226 01:38:59,985 --> 01:39:00,986 Yes! 2227 01:39:01,153 --> 01:39:03,155 - Bob, is that my jacket? - Yes! 2228 01:39:03,322 --> 01:39:04,782 - No, wait a minute. - Yes! 2229 01:39:04,949 --> 01:39:06,700 Oh, my God! 2230 01:39:06,992 --> 01:39:08,118 Dude, where'd you get this from? 2231 01:39:08,285 --> 01:39:11,956 Well, I sleep in it most nights, but it's clean now, totally good. Yeah! 2232 01:39:12,122 --> 01:39:14,708 Man! You are the man! Yes! 2233 01:39:14,875 --> 01:39:17,753 - Family hug! What? - Ooh. Okay. 2234 01:39:19,797 --> 01:39:20,965 All right, let's go! 2235 01:39:21,131 --> 01:39:22,424 - Okay. - All right. 2236 01:39:22,591 --> 01:39:25,135 ("THE BOOGIE" BY OUTASIGHT PLAYING) 2237 01:39:36,814 --> 01:39:38,816 - You still ride? -(ALARM BLARING) 2238 01:39:39,316 --> 01:39:41,527 DIRECTOR: Cut! The fire department's here. 2239 01:39:41,819 --> 01:39:44,196 All right. That's our cue, guys! 2240 01:39:45,155 --> 01:39:46,907 BOTH: Here we are shooting Central Intelligence. 2241 01:39:47,074 --> 01:39:49,076 They shut us down. The fire trucks are out here. 2242 01:39:49,243 --> 01:39:50,786 - Shut the **** up! - Get the **** out my video! 2243 01:39:50,953 --> 01:39:51,954 L'mma slap the dogshit out of you. 2244 01:39:52,121 --> 01:39:53,163 Why do you do your video behind me? 2245 01:39:53,330 --> 01:39:54,498 - I'm trying to do my video! - This is my video! 2246 01:39:54,665 --> 01:39:56,166 - You're in my ****ing video! - I'm pissed off. 2247 01:39:56,333 --> 01:39:58,711 Watch your mouth, I'll slap the sh**out of you. 2248 01:39:59,878 --> 01:40:02,464 Okay. You have it your way. 2249 01:40:03,424 --> 01:40:05,384 You leave me no choice. 2250 01:40:06,677 --> 01:40:07,678 Pam... 2251 01:40:07,845 --> 01:40:08,846 (LAUGHING) 2252 01:40:09,013 --> 01:40:10,014 Tickler! Tickler! 2253 01:40:10,180 --> 01:40:12,683 Where are the codes? Where are the codes? 2254 01:40:13,684 --> 01:40:15,185 (CHUCKLES) It's just nice. 2255 01:40:16,854 --> 01:40:19,356 In here and it's kind of all... 2256 01:40:19,690 --> 01:40:20,691 (LAUGHING) 2257 01:40:20,941 --> 01:40:22,318 - Oh, my God. - Sorry. 2258 01:40:24,361 --> 01:40:26,155 (ALL LAUGHING) 2259 01:40:26,947 --> 01:40:28,282 - Can you do both? - Yeah. 2260 01:40:28,657 --> 01:40:29,783 -(EXCLAIMS) - Oh, my God! 2261 01:40:30,200 --> 01:40:31,452 (ALL LAUGHING) 2262 01:40:32,995 --> 01:40:34,747 It's called "soul gazing." 2263 01:40:34,913 --> 01:40:38,542 Stare into my soul and I'll stare into yours. 2264 01:40:38,709 --> 01:40:40,169 - Come in. Shh. - You're not my wife! 2265 01:40:40,336 --> 01:40:41,712 Oh, that's it. 2266 01:40:42,212 --> 01:40:43,339 (BOTH LAUGHING) 2267 01:40:43,547 --> 01:40:45,007 - Bob, I'm gonna... - Shh. 2268 01:40:46,133 --> 01:40:47,384 - I promise you'll never... -(BOTH LAUGHING) 2269 01:40:48,802 --> 01:40:50,471 Let's keep on, keep on. 2270 01:40:50,638 --> 01:40:51,680 DIRECTOR: Okay, for real this time. 2271 01:40:52,765 --> 01:40:54,808 It's for real. This is for real, guys, yeah. 2272 01:40:55,267 --> 01:40:56,393 - That's it! - Oh. 2273 01:40:56,560 --> 01:40:58,145 One more. Come on. 2274 01:40:58,312 --> 01:40:59,396 - I can't do this, I'm not... - Shh. 2275 01:40:59,563 --> 01:41:02,232 Oh, my God. I ****ing had it. 2276 01:41:02,399 --> 01:41:03,400 Lock it! We're professionals. 2277 01:41:03,567 --> 01:41:05,402 - This is what we do. You ready? - Come on, baby! 2278 01:41:05,569 --> 01:41:07,237 I'm gonna hit you. I told you! 2279 01:41:07,404 --> 01:41:08,614 -(BLEEP) -(CREW LAUGHING) 2280 01:41:10,574 --> 01:41:11,575 Are you not a super tool? 2281 01:41:11,742 --> 01:41:14,036 You're not even Robbie Wheirdicht. You're Bob Stone! 2282 01:41:14,745 --> 01:41:16,246 -(EXCLAIMS) I made that name up. - So what? 2283 01:41:16,413 --> 01:41:17,915 - It's not real. - What does that mean? 2284 01:41:18,082 --> 01:41:21,919 (STAMMERS) What, you think Mr. T and Sting 2285 01:41:22,086 --> 01:41:23,379 and The Rock... 2286 01:41:23,545 --> 01:41:24,963 You think those guys are real? 2287 01:41:25,130 --> 01:41:28,175 That's a bunch of dumb-ass nicknames by a bunch of dumb-ass people. 2288 01:41:28,342 --> 01:41:29,760 (ALL LAUGHING) 2289 01:41:32,294 --> 01:41:33,754 ("THE BOOGIE" BY OUTASIGHT PLAYING) 2290 01:47:13,302 --> 01:47:14,595 BOB". Fanny! 2291 01:47:34,239 --> 01:47:35,240 English - SDH